Wed Jan 25
1:15 (chat) Last night you were angry because I said Brendan Urie
“I wasn’t angry, I just pretend to be angry for lols”
[unboxes charger he ordered yesterday and plugs in, it works, 40 quid well spent]
11:20 [reads out the charger instructions in Enrique voice, does other things in other voices]
14:50 “Is this racist? We won’t know until somebody accuses me!”
32:10 (about wearing a dirty shirt) “I’m not a clean man, I’m not very good at living the life of an adult... There’s nowhere else to go with that, that’s just it."
33:50 "Sorry if I seem a little tired today, I was up until 3 o’clock in the morning last night building a Halloween-themed theme park, but even though that might sound like a waste of time, I do believe it was the best theme park I’ve ever built, and I simply couldn’t let it go.”
34:50 (chat asks him to repeat his answer to a question about pewdiepie from yesterday because it lagged over his entire response; the question was, ‘thoughts on pewdiepie lately, he’s trash”)
“[lag but I think he repeats the ‘he’s trash’ from the original comment] I don’t think that’s the case. Regardless of what you think [lag], 2 million, 4 million [views] for every video he makes, more people than most television shows do, so it’s fine, isn’t it?"
(I don’t know what I think about that answer; he seemed to take the question seriously, but maybe thought it was a general statement of all of his content and not so much the more recent racism stuff (if he’s even aware of it, which I think he is) but who knows)
43:45 (chat) Say happy birthday to (username)
[pretty good Trump impression/mocking follows]
48:40-55:20 [roasts the ‘regular chat’ vs. the premium messages and it’s hilarious]
56:30 “I think I can see through time, pet. Oh, it’s a double espresso. I can see through time. I can see where my internet social media career is going, if I keep drinking this espresso I can see [where it’s going]: I end up with 105M subscribers, I’m the biggest YTer of all time, and I go nuts, and I jump in a river. Well, that should be fun to watch."
[asks chat for questions so he can tell their future]
59:50 (chat) Will I ever be happy?
“You won’t be happy for many many years. But through this sadness, you come to a realization that happiness and sadness are transient states of emotion, and they can be controlled just as you control your physical body. Upon this realization you will have an epiphany moment of transcendence and you will realize deep within your soul what you need to do. You will find what your life’s calling is and you will go towards it - it’s probably something to do with animals or kids - and you go towards it and you achieve great things. And you look back on your time of sadness as the folly of youth. And as you raise these children, you tell them you that it’s okay to be sad and it’s okay to be happy… and then you jump in a river (laughs)”
1:01:40 “I’ve really enjoyed being with you, and when I said that everybody in the regular chat are plebs... I meant it. I’m joking, I just like to pretend that I’m some kind of arrogant larger-than-thou character, when I’m not really. I’m down to earth like you, except I sell t-shirts with my name on.” Fri Jan 27
(first time this week he tweeted out that he was live)
3:10 “So what I’ve been up to today: I went for a walk, yeah, I had a long walk, one of them walks where you think about your life and the direction it’s taking and maybe that you’re not doing what you really wanted to be doing with your life and instead you’re whoring yourself out on the internet. But by the end of the walk I was completely over it and thought, "Nah, might as well, I’m not doing nought else’”
4:45 “I did some younow shows and I was warming up to this day. I didn’t want to go live and tell everyone on twitter/YT that I'm doing these liveshows, I wanted to do some practices first to make sure I’ve still got it, ‘cause it’s alright looking like Cameron Dallas but I needed that skill, I needed— I’m a broadcaster, this is like live radio, I’ve got to be on point. I’ve got to know how to engage with my fans and I’ve got to know how to keep your attention, because that’s how younow works: the more attention I keep, the more money I ge— well, I mean, the more fans I get, the more we get to know each other. It’s not about money, it never has been… Never has been.”
(if anyone is reading this without watching the shows, please know every single word that comes out of his face is quite firmly tongue in cheek and self aware, every single word)
6:10 “There’s a lot of bars coming in. I really appreciate this, you know. I know I sound sarcastic and I know I call you all plebs, all right? Just know that I do mean it.”
(more roasting of regular chat vs. premium message)
8:50 “I’m sorry if you’re all broke and can’t pay for my attention, that’s your fault. You need to work harder at manifesting your desires. You need to have a goal and you need to stick to it. You can’t go through life drifting around, tossing it off, playing the Sims. I’m talking to myself there.” “I’m sorry, it just gets me mad when I talk to poor people in regular chat.”
13:45 “I was thinking deeply the other day on how cats and dogs— they symbolize the perfect metaphor of polarization: cats, they’re introverted, they like to look out of windows and longingly imagine who they are and what this world’s about, and a dog is like an extrovert; it runs around, it licks its own ass, they both do, but it licks its own ass, it eats shit off the floor, it vomits, and it jumps up on people. And then when you put a dog and cat in a room, it’s like they are magnetically charged to attack each other. And it made me think what’s needed in life is a balance.” “It’s not always black and white, you can’t be the extremes, you must be a bit of both. If you’re an introvert, try being an extrovert for an hour. If you’re an extrovert, sit and read a book! Think on this deeply and I think you’ll find peace.”
“Also my mum’s got a cat and it’s given me fleas.”
16:15 “Anyway, you people keep talking about these secret groupchats everywhere, how can there be a groupchat? Where are these groupchats? I want access to these. I’m like Donald Trump or Theresa May: you don’t have a right to talk quietly amongst yourselves! I want to see all of this activity, you might be a terrorist! I must see what everyone’s doing, I mean, it’s just to save you in the end, all right? I must have access to all the groupchats.”
17:10 “There’s another request here: ‘can you say hi to the ISG groupchat?’ Who's the ISG? That doesn’t sound good, ‘ISG’, that sounds like a terrorist cell.
17:50 “I don’t wanna be a part of your groupchat, pervert. If you’ve got something to say, say it publicly. If you’re not got anything to hide, then, you know.. that’s what George Orwell said.”
25:00 “I always like it when you people say ‘name my dog/plant/cat’ ‘cause I feel like that quite helps my ego ‘cause I feel like I’m making change in the world. Call it ‘fat tits’. It’s just the first thing that came to my head, and I don’t really have my own thoughts, it comes from the universe, it comes from a higher power. So, even though ‘fat tits’ may sound bad, I do think you should call your dog ‘fat tits’. You asked. And I would also appreciate it if you could sent me a picture of fat— Not your fat tits, your dog, send a picture of your dog. I just like looking at puppers. Not your puppers, d’you know what I mean."
26:10 (chat) Opinion on vegetarians?
“[He eats meat, but] I do believe that there is come a time when eating meat is like, it helped our brains expand and evolve because we needed that energy. But we’re at a point now where it’s not really doing much of anything and it’s killing a lot of animals, and it’s also really bad, d’you know what I mean? It’s really bad? So I do believe it’s time that we came up with that invention— they already made a burger [in a lab], but it was still a burger made out of thin air. As soon as they make that cheap, it should be immediately brought in, ‘cause I’m fed up of having to slice open a pig just for a quick bacon sandwich. Like this morning, all I wanted was a bacon sandwich, I didn’t want to be chasing a pig ‘round the bathroom, d’you know what I mean? They’re slippery!”
30:40 (chat) Should I get back into making YT videos?
“I mean, you’re asking the wrong guy. I need to get back into making it, but it’s a difficult world now. What you’ve got to do, you’ve got to have [a full-on idea of who you are and what you want to achieve on YT] and then you’ve got to block everything else out. And that’s difficult. You’ve got to block out the views because they’ll go down. You’ve got to block out subscribers because they won’t subscribe to you because you’re doing what you want to do rather than clickbait. You wanna make videos that you wanna make which means other people [won’t want them].
Because they’ve already worked it out, the scientists on YT have already worked it out."
[talks about what gets people to click on videos]
“And I’m gonna say it: a lot of people on YT are simpletons. So basically if you’re gonna be a YTer, you’ve got to understand that the videos you make are gonna be what you wanna make. But the system will kick your arse for it, which means you have to push past any doubt you have. You’re gonna fail you’re gonna fail you’re gonna fail. Over and over again. If you’re not playing Resident Evil and screaming at it, then you’re not gonna get subscribers and views. However, over time, you get enough views and enough subscribers to live happily on what you’re making. But then you’ve gotta take that risk. I’ve always said there’s 2 types of YTer: creator or commentator. Both are fine."
Creator = “somebody who creates original content off the top of their head”
Commentator = “somebody who takes other things and makes commentary/remixes/talk about topics/vlogs”
"You’re either a creator or a commentator. And if you’re a creator, you’ve got to leave behind all the commentator shit. You can’t make a 10 minute video everyday, you don’t need to make clickbait, you don’t need to share it on twitter, you don’t have to have a song in the background, because you’re creating something original. If you’re a commentator then you don’t have to worry about being unoriginal, because you’re commentating on stuff and you do a video everyday. You’ve just got to decide which one you’re on. If you’re not, you’re gonna be pulled between one or the other which takes away your energy and then you won’t be able to do shit. And you’ll think you’re having a creative breakdown, but you’re not, [lag boo]. That’s all, you’ve just to make the decision. Have the baby. What were we talking about? (reads question again) Of course you should! It’s expression. The opposite of expression is depression. You must express yourself, you’ve got to understand the game, and then you’ve got to understand whether you want to play it.”
34:50 (chat) Why do you have two chairs if no one’s sitting in the other one
“Of course someone’s sitting on the chair. It’s my best friend Dan and Phil. Hello Dan and Phil, my best friends. These are my best friends, my best boyfriends, as in friends that are boys. I love these two, I mean I don’t see them in real life ‘cause they’re too busy with their liveshows and their dancing, so I just have to imagine that they’re here.”
41:10 “Does anybody else find it weird that entertainment is now infinite? Like it’s a never-ending stream of Marvel movies. I’ve found it’s very strange- if you just stop watching content, it doesn’t matter. You don’t actually miss out on anything. Like, I didn’t watch the new Sherlock, and instead I went outside and I held my hand out and a bluebird landed on my finger, and I nuzzled it. And we built up a kind of relationship. Not sexual! We built up a kind of relationship and I feel like if I was too busy inside watching RuPaul’s Drag Race Season 20, I might not have met that bluebird, and he’s helped me out a lot."
"But just watch how much you’re watching.”
43:25 (chat) I’m ugly and gay, help
“That’s a double whammy. Being ugly, I mean I don’t understand it myself, is a gift because if you don’t fit in, it means you’re an outsider. And if you’re an outsider looking in, you can see, you can see clearly what society actually is, and you can build a life for yourself that’s not based on cosmetic things like the symmetry of the features on your face. Have sympathy for the beautiful people like me who get wrapped up in celebrity and making lots of money and that, and be who you are. I don’t know what to do about your gayness, you’re just gonna have to suck a dick. I shouldn’t have said that, should I? I should have said, ‘make love to a man’. I mean, you might be a lady. A lady gay. What do you call lady gays? (reads from chat) ‘Lesbiand’, yes, lesbiand. Um.. I hope that answers your question.”
45:15 “I really hope I’ve helped some of you today, and I feel like I should go because I’ve said a lot of questionable things. And sometimes I feel like if I go quickly, then the younow people won’t tell me off.”