The second story was a lot more recent and doesn’t make me as sad. It makes me more angry, I think. Up until quite recently, as in a couple of months ago maybe, I had someone in a friend group of mine who I didn’t see as a close friend. They were kind of like, you know, on the edge of friends circle, whatever, like they know everyone, everyone knows them.
And I’d had problems with this person in the past for certain shitty things that they’d done. Nothing illegal or anything like that. But this person had proven to be quite manipulative and selfish, self-centred, egotistical, arrogant.
Like little tiny things this person had done. And I’d always overlooked them because for a long time it didn’t seem to hurt anyone or harm anyone. People just sort of dealt with it, like ‘oh that’s just typical so-and-so’. But over the last few months of our friendship I had started to hear a lot of stories about this person [..], that some of the things this person had done to my friends had upset them and affected them. And I kept hearing these stories: ‘this person’s done this, done that, copied this, copied that
, said this, said that’ and it builds up this image of the person that you thought you knew and you end up questioning, ‘Did I even know this person? Has this person changed or have I just now seen who they really are?'
These are little tiny stories that just kept building up and up. For instance, the person in question has a roommate [LUUUUUKE]
and this roommate came back from holiday and this person pretended that they weren’t in so that they didn’t have to help their rommate coming back from holiday lifting up their cases [up to their flat]. They pretended they weren’t in so they didn’t have to help. I came to the conclusion this person does not want to know you unless they can get something from you. They use you.
There was one point, everthing else I could kind of overlook because it didn’t really affect me all that much, it was just other people [..]. There was this one time where this person upset someone I’m very very very close to [LUUUUUUKE]
someone that I care about an awful lot [...blah blah tries to justify interacting with Onision on twitter blah
...]. This person said something that made my incredibly close friend cry. And I know that sounds very small, but in context which I’m not going to give because this is not a story that is anyone else's concern really, it was such a horrible thing to do. On top of this, this person had used me on the same day; they had basically snubbed me the same day. So these things plus saying something that lead one of the closest closest people in my life bursting into tears and basically having a breakdown, I realized that on top of all of these other things over the years this person had done, I could not do it anymore. I couldn’t be friends with them.
But I realized very quickly that this person, although I’d been avoiding the signs, this person, at least to me, and I’m not going around diagnosing anybody this is not a diagnosis this is nothing, but I realized very quickly that this person has a lot of sociopathic traits
. Or at least shows signs of antisocial personality disorder: they manipulate, they lie, they have a huge ego, they don’t have any close friends
[what about Dodie tho
], they treat people cruelly, they use people, they cut people out very quickly
. And I made the decision that I couldn’t be close to this person anymore for the things that they’ve done, to me and to my close friends.
Ultimately, communication probably could have solved or changed the way that things went down when I decided to lose him
as a friend. But he
came up to me to say hi and I completely freaked out because over the last few weeks I had these thoughts in my mind of ‘this person is bad, has done so many things, has made everyone upset'. They came up to me and I basically had to just say ‘I can’t be near you, I can’t have you around me.’
And I’m not saying ‘treat people who have anti-social personality disorder badly’, I’m not saying that. Support them and love them if you can. But at that time, I couldn’t do it
, I freaked and I just said ‘I need you to get away, I can’t be around you, go away’. I don’t have anything against this person at all, I really don’t, I just can’t be friends with them.
I actually thought maybe, from me doing this, this person might go away and then message me later on [to ask what the problem was] and then we could have sorted things out. Obviously I could have said something to them before this whole thing happened, but neither of those things happened and we haven’t spoken since, and I’m okay with that. But it was hard making that decision.
[continues on about how seeing other people tweeting indirects is poisonous……
…… and how friendships used to just die naturally before social media kept people around too long]