spaceguitar wrote:I really disagree with you on a lot of this. But I generally like Evan more than other people here seem to. First of all, the video didn't feel too pretentious to me, though the beginning montage could be classified as such. But I really thought his ending conclusion about himself being the only person holding him back was great.
But as for the part about girls, I don't think i necessarily see it as immature.He's demisexual. He's probably put a lot of thought and energy into considering when he is actually into someone. That musing to me seemed more like a aromantic type thing (though i don't think Evan classifies himself that way) than an immature boy thing.
First, thanks for sharing positive thoughts about evan in a place where that can be not-so-easy to do so.
As far as pretentious or whatever, I do think only the beginning of it was, as I said. The rest of it, talking openly with the camera, is good. Listening to him talk about being kicked out of his current place bc his roommates are getting married fills me with genuine anxiety and I hope he finds a place to live. And thank goodness this video was relatively bad punless.
Also, I didn't make it clear, but I also agree the whole thing about him being the only one holding himself back. He is going through something very relatable, to both YouTubers and non-youtubers alike (i think recent college graduates like myself ahem can get where he is coming from with the unstructured time). I just think he should have anticipated that going from working 40 hours a week at a mainstream job to youtubing full-time would present a lot of problems, especially with regards to how to time manage.
As far as I understand it, demisexual means you must have an emotional bond with someone before feeling attraction. The idea that you lose interest in someone once they reciprocate feelings is unrelated to it, as far as I know (and seems actually counter to the definition).
In fact, the idea that you lose interest in someone once there is an actual chance of it working out sounds a lot like that thing when you are more interested in "the chase," the buildup of a relationship, than having an actual relationship. Falling in love with the idea of being in love rather than actually being in love. To an extent, I can't fault him for this, a lot of people experience it. I didn't meant to suggest its purely about being an immature boy either; I'm a girl (though my maturity is suspect at best lol) and I find myself loving the pining rather than the actual person. I can't comment on if that musing sounds aromantic. All I know is I'm very much into the "chase" and definitely not aromantic.
What I find immature is his lack of taking responsibility in the matter. He said that he and a girl never admitted to each other their feelings and then he lied to himself about how interested he was to minimize the pain of her leaving. Sounds like he (and the girl) were both acting coy and avoiding communicating, to each other and themselves. Whatever mess occurred was a result of their actions. He admits that his self-denial made his feelings worse, which is good. But the way he said "I have a problem with girls, they only like me when I don't like them back, and when they do like me back I find myself disinterested" sounded so defeatist to me, and the way it sounds like he expects to fail is probably what I disliked the most.