In-Depth Bants

customerservicedepartment & Dan's Tumblr asks

A place to compile and archive information for reference/analysis.

customerservicedepartment & Dan's Tumblr asks

PostPosted by oqua » Wed Apr 27, 2016 5:57 pm

Here are typed-up versions of all of Dan's tumblr answers from c. 2011 - 2013 (at least, the interesting ones).

I organized them according to topic (but note that there is a lot of overlap between different topics). I didn't make much effort to put them in date order, because most of them are missing dates anyway. If the date was available, I included it.

A few additional notes:
  • Some of them are from the customerservicedepartment tumblr and some are from the danisnotonfire tumblr.
  • Most of these answers have been deleted (and now exist only in screenshots), but some are still on Dan's tumblr.
  • If the name was blurred out, I put it as "xyz."
  • I tried to be really faithful to the original capitalization/spelling/punctuation!

Okay, now, without further ado...

“we need to talk about drama.”
aka the post introducing his customer service blog & a good summary of his apparent frame of mind at the time
danisnotonfire:
We need to talk about drama.

Okay. After much pondering, it seems ridiculous to me that I feel the need to post this, but I think I do. This only really applies to the ‘hardcore’ 10% of my followers so if you just randomly followed my blog because you like pictures of dogs, or are a happy prancing deer that sees the best in everyone, you can just merrily scroll past this like a gif challenge.

Once upon a time the danisnotonfire tag was a wonderful place filled with joy and insanity and Dan could happily check twitter or tumblr and always expect to leave with a smile on his face. This doesn’t seem to be the case at the moment.

As much as the joy and insanity are very much still there, recently I haven’t been able to visit tumblr without seeing at least one person posting absolute crap about me having ‘changed’ and posting and tagging ‘opinions’ about me that are literally just lies.

Of course I’ve changed since two years ago. Back then I was a big facepalm who made awful, terrible videos once a month (if that) and hardly ever replied to my followers. However now for the first time I’m thinking ‘like every other youtuber who posts 5 videos a week, I will start actually trying so people aren’t constantly wondering if I’m dead’ thinking you’d be pleased, and people are turning it into something negative!

I’m a friendlier, smarter, funnier person than I used to be who is infinitely better at making videos and now I spend hours every day replying to you guys to let you know I appreciate you supporting me (unlike any actor/guy from band/most youtubers). Phil is still my best friend. I still love my followers more than probably anyone else you know. And the only reason I’m trying harder at youtube is because I enjoy it, and I want to make more, better things to brighten up your day and anybody out there who hasn’t discovered me yet.

Literally 99.9% of the people that I reply to are wonderful, hilarious, beautiful people that are a joy to interact with. You can read my youtube comments or just look at my facebook/twitter to see this. To this day, when I am feeling down the -first- thing I will do is go to my ‘liked’ posts on tumblr because it completely restores my faith in humanity and pretty much shows you are the some of the most incredibly funny, clever and creative guys on the internet. It’s literally 1/500 times that I will see something that annoys me, but the thing about negativity is it stands out from the good. People will say something to me, be it a hater comment/someone trolling me or just something completely stupid, and instead of getting mad, I always try to just say something funny back to keep things positive. And this is where the 0.1% get it wrong.

I don’t know how new to me and my personality you may be, but here’s the thing. I am never a rude person. I don’t have a bad bone in my body. My childhood role model was Winnie The Pooh ffs and I used to let kids beat the crap out of me at school and I wouldn’t retaliate because I’m not interested in conflict. Yes, sometimes I can sound blunt and extremely rarely may lose composure, but I will literally never be flat out rude to someone.

I am a sarcastic guy. That is my sense of humour. It isn’t negative or aggressive, it’s supposed to be silly and make you laugh or groan at a terrible pun I made. It’s my way of not taking the world too seriously by taking something and turning it into a joke. If you see me reply to someone who called me a twat or spammed me saying ‘PHAN IS REEL!!1’ and think I’ve been ‘rude’ to them, you are literally wrong. You just didn’t get the joke. You read it the wrong way. It was a misunderstanding.

I wish sometimes it could be like early 2010 when the only interaction I got were lovely people asking me things and getting to know me, but I have a lot more followers now and with more people comes more diversity. I don’t think it’s tumblr’s fault, or my fault, or ‘12 year olds’ fault that there’s ‘drama’, it’s just the individuals that choose to be negative. Regardless of whether it’s me, Larry, Sherlock or bloody masterchef - the nature of tumblr breeds a culture of attention seeking (for lack of a better word) where people know that if they give a strong opinion, or tag it, or just latch on to something as it’s happening, they will get notes. It means that people deliberately seek conflict, whether saying something negative, opposing it, or even saying ‘why is this drama happening’ as they know there will be an audience, and it snowballs. The more people say something, the more blown out of proportion that-thing-no-one-can-even-find will be. And they might not even care that much about what they are saying and are venting angry emotions from a crappy day at school, but as the target of it, I do feel it.

The thing is, Kristen Stewart and One Direction don’t use tumblr, so they have no idea what’s being said about them, but I do. And when it doesn’t hurt, at the very least it’s despairingly irritating seeing people publicly talk rubbish about me with no reasonable way to talk to them about it. Should I leave tumblr then? Stop checking my tag? No that would be silly. It would be much better to solve the problem.

I don’t think it has to be like this. I can’t change the whole Internet but I can certainly make ‘Dan’ a nice place to be. The next time you think I’m being rude, carefully read what I said, and try to decide if really I was just making a joke. And if you have an opinion or a criticism or a theory - before you go & post it to twitter/tumblr in caps lock and cause another dramallamageddon, ask me about it. I won’t bite. I will totally politely start a conversation with you until we understand each others thoughts.

Therefore I have decided to make:
http://customerservicedepartment.tumblr.com/

From now on, if you genuinely have something to say, instead of causing an alpacalypse, you can talk to me about it. I will not shout, I will be calm and polite and like the civilised wizards we are, can talk about it. You may be totally wrong about something, you may be totally right and make me think something I hadn’t realised before, but either way we will keep this over there, and leave everywhere else to have fun.

I think this is a wonderful idea if it works, but that’s up to all of us.
So I urge you. ALL of you that would ever identify as Danosaurs, if you have something to say about me, don’t be another drama llama, go to:
http://customerservicedepartment.tumblr.com/ and talk to me about it. And if you see someone post something that’s about to implode the internet slap them with a wet tuna from me don’t attack back, or post saying ‘why is there drama’ - tell them that if they aren’t just attention seeking, there’s a better way they can go about it without spoiling someone else’s afternoon when all they want to do is have some lols.

Hopefully now the internet land of dan and especially my twitter/tumblr/tag can be the wonderland of hilarity, creepy drawings and pictures of Delia Smith photoshopped onto inanimate objects we all want it to be and we can all hold hands and dance in a circle and make daisy chains. I hope you are doing well, have an absolutely fantastic weekend and I look forward to the next time we talk. :]

*tips top hat and flies out the window*
Normal broadcasting service will resume shortly.

- Dan

don’t stalk my past / please delete old pictures
danisnotonfire:
so

sigh okay this literally applies to less 1% of my followers so by all means keep scrolling homies! look forward to more pictures of dogs and creepy japanese stuff.

i’ve been running a strict 100% no-drama-ever policy for several months where responding to anything remotely negative makes me want to physically vomit so it is with much regret that i feel the need to post this, but i’d only like to once.

please, can you not try to stalk my past.

people have always been trying to scour the internet for any traces of young teenage dan that i didn’t voluntarily twitpic, but recently i’ve seen a lot of shit being posted that you shouldn’t have.

me and my friends come from the 1st generation of social network teenagers where all websites were totally public because why the fuck not? and we didn’t know any better. if we knew what we all know now would we have left everything public? of course not. but these were different times. phil was too old, you were all too young, but me and my friends were just the right(wrong) age. no one knew in 5 years time your friends/employers/the fbi (or in my case creepy fangirls) would go back and stalk your life and judge you. you guys probably all know to keep your facebook private and not accept friend requests from bearded guys in belarus, but that’s because we’re all more savvy these days!

what i was like as a kid, who my friends and ex-girlfriends were and what my family look like is unfortunately totally none of your bloody business oh my god. i understand, you like me and my videos and some of you like me so much you want to know more about your favourite person! and that, i understand. and i am honestly incredibly flattered and humbled that so many people see me this way. but if i haven’t chosen to share something, it is no one’s right to find it out. i have already privated as much as i can myself and now i’ve had to ask my friends to begin doing the same. please bear in mind my ‘1st generation’ analogy. it’s certainly not fair that my old friends can get stalked and affected in the real world by this when it has nothing to do with them. i won’t get us all into an internet privacy debate, but i’m putting my foot down and just telling you -no- here.

i really don’t want to be kept up at night worrying what random pictures or out of context tweets my followers are trying to dig up and analyse. it honestly feels really perverse, like i’m constantly being violated and it’s rather horrible, even if your intentions aren’t at all. if one of the big sources of joy but also the only source of negativity in my life is my ‘hardcore followers’ ya’ll know something somewhere has gone slightly wrong.

i’m aware that as i get more popular, inevitably the number of people will grow and my ability to control it will deteriorate (which is a depressing thought right? lolmylife) which is why about 7 months ago i vowed to ignore all negativity so ‘dan’ was nothing but a happy place on the internet. but for now i ask those of you who this applies to, to respectfully consider me and my friends privacy and what morally you should and shouldn’t be doing. and importantly if you see others doing things like this, politely tell them not to or maybe point them over to this text post to explain! as time goes forwards all i’ll have to rely on is you guys knowing where i stand and telling others.

if you like me and want to get to know me, then take interest in me now! i tweet, i make videos, i blog. and i am a real person who is living their life as we speak! and like all of you, i will continue to change and grow with time. and i’d rather enjoy you all coming on the journey with me :]

also pls no shitstorm. remember people talking about the thing only perpetuates the thing so perhaps try to minimise the opinions this time. and if you want to take anything from this, think about every thing you post publicly to the internet. really do. because you can’t take it back! ain’t nobody got time for that. let’s all have fun on the internet!

big block of text over. i hope you are all having a lovely weekend, see you with a new video very soon! luvdan<3

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12/8/12
danisnotonfire:
Not cool

Hey guys! I know this goes out to about 0.1% of you but it’s really not cool posting pictures from my personal Facebook. I don’t even know how you got them. Some of the people in thsese pictures don’t want them on the internet for work reasons so you’ve now put me in a really awkward position.

Can you please respect my privacy a bit? I don’t want to start drama but now I have to try and get these photos deleted from tumblr which isn’t how I wanted to spend my Friday :/

Thanks for understanding!

12/8/12
danisnotonfire:
Photos are deleted. Thanks for understanding! It’d help if you delete them from your blog if you posted them too.

*goes back to reblogging photos of cats*

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danisnotonfire asked:
sigh :[ i’m not being mean but why do people like you spend all your time dedicating to ruining my privacy?! pictures of my life from before i was a youtube are non of yours or anyone’s business! do none of you have any respect at all for me or my feelings?! i mean seriously how can people claim to ‘like’ me or my videos and spend their time doing something that stresses me out and literally keeps me up at night! i know i can’t stop rom doing this but please understand how it makes me feel :[

danisnotonfire asked:
but goddam please delete those old photos of me! it’s really not ok.

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(VALIDITY QUESTIONABLE! anyone have more details on this? idk.)
2012-06-11 07:00
danisnotonfire asked:
hey there! i’m usually never opposed to creepy things on the internet but i need you to take these photos down. i don’t tell people but i doubt you guys will stop anytime soon without actual reason. we have been dating for a few years but don’t admit it because of people like you. everyone would create such a big deal and we wouldn’t want to end up breaking up over something so stupid. having these photos online makes us uncomfortable. srsly

you’ve changed
dibble-munt: “I thought people might like to see these. I’m not posting so you can have a dig at me (you can do so if you wish). I told dan that I was no longer a fan because I felt his videos were just being made for the pure point of getting views and money, and to get gifs of himself made on tumblr, and that he was only appealing to the childish fans, and these are his replies. He cares about you danosaurs, and I thought you should see that from a non-fans POV.”

danisnotonfire:
to: dibble-munt
wat every video i make is totally different to the one before and it’s the same video style i’ve been making since 2009. how the absolute crackers can you imply i’m doing it for tumblr? that’s extremely ridiculous. the only reason i reblog gifs is to show appreciation for the people that made them and to announce that i have a new video in a more interesting way than making a text post about it every 2 hours. i’m sorry that you’ve decided to respond negatively to my success but jesus on a popsicle if you feel like this about me then don’t watch sam pepper or shane dawson because you’ll probably implode.

danisnotonfire:
to: dibble-munt
well what a disgustingly offensive and incorrect thing to say to me. idk if you have actually been subscribed to me for more than a week but i used to do them ‘as and when’ which resulted in me going on the internet once a month. my new videos are the one’s i’m proudest of and have gotten more views than anything else so sorry if all you liked was me and phil rolling around on the floor but everyone and me prefers what i’m doing now. and also lol at you saying i make them for ‘tumblr’. i made one video about fandoms and one video about shipping out of nearly 70 videos. i’ve made videos about the meaning of life and dropping out of college and all i do is try to inspire people to be happy with who they and embrace their downfall’s. if i was doing the same thing with 10,000 subscribers would you have said this to me? no. i feel sorry that you for some reason feel so negative when thing’s have never been better for me in every way. have a nice day!

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ahairyginger asked:
Dan, whenever I watch your videos now I can’t help but think you’ve changed (and I know change is neither good or bad,it is simply change) over these years, and that’s acceptable because everyone does! But at the same time I really prefer your old videos (which is completely my opinion, no doubt people share it and completely oppose it) because back then in your old house, and even in your flat in Manchester with Phil you seemed like a real person with a genuine connection to the real world.


customerservicedepartment:
Okay this is a good question. I’ll try not to make it ‘too wordy’ but I’ll say what I’m thinking. (and this isn’t directed at you Mr. Goodquestion)

What I think, is that people want a Dan that never really existed. The people that say I’ve ‘changed’ to how I was 3 years ago are probably only interested in ‘the Dan’ they saw in Phil’s videos and ‘Amazing Dan’, the one who was rolling around on the floor being a bit immature and silly and cute like Phil’s video style. This has never been me or my videos.

I spend infinitely more time now interacting with you guys with vyou and liveshows and an ask button as opposed to back then where I’d upload a video once a month and then just never go on the internet.

If you go back to my first ever videos like ‘Procrastination’ & ‘Did you order some sex’ - these are exactly the same as the videos I make now. Asides form the Sonic 4 video with me and Phil, that’s always been the case. I am a sarcastic, alternative, sometimes inappropriate British guy who tells stories and opinions. That’s who I am and always have been.

I think a lot of people who only found me through Phil and are into ‘Phan’ have no interest in my actual videos or personality but just want to see me do day-in-the-life videos with Phil, which I have no interest in as the hard work and creativity I put into my videos is so much more than that. (and clearly statistically more people enjoy them)

I have always said that from the moment I started youtube, after being influenced by communitychannel and paperlilies and Shane Dawson that I have constantly been trying to become the youtuber I am only just becoming now! I still don’t think I’m there yet tbh.

My video style or personality hasn’t changed at all. If anything I’m less ‘sassy’ and offensive because only in the last 3 months have people started misinterpreting my sense of humour and started moaning about it. (what’s up with that right?)

I’ve just got slightly better at editing and slightly less immature, which some people might not like, but to be honest clearly more people like the videos I’m making now as 400.000 of my 500,000 subscribers have arrived since this spring.

All I’m going to say is that before people accuse me of ‘changing’, they need to ask themselves if the videos on danisnotonfire have ever been different to what they still are now? And as friends and other youtubers constantly tell me these days, I shouldn’t have to apologise for other people not understanding my sense of humour.

There are hundreds of thousands of people now who totally get who I am and how I act and if someone doesn’t because they ‘dont get it’ or are (sorry) too stupid or literally 10 years old, it shouldn’t be my problem because I’m just trying to make stuff I’m proud of and please the people who do get it and totally understand me and my videos.

It must makes me sad that people are having a go at me when I haven’t actually ‘done’ anything. You know what I mean? I think I live an entirely positive existence until someone says something. There are so many wonderful amazing people across the internet who are a joy to interact with that have probably known me for years and have no interest in being remotely dramatic about anything. So I will continue to be here to make them smile. :]

do you get offended / how do you put up with the drama
Anonymous asked:
Do you think that some people don’t realise how you’re just as emotionally sensitive as anyone else would be, despite how laid-back you are? If anything, it appears to me that you’re quite sensitive considering how hard you try to make fun, creative honest videos to keep people happy, and how much I know you dislike your previous work because of your perfectionism.


customerservicedepartment:
I’m actually colossally difficult to offend. I let a lot of things slide and find things most other people get mad about really funny. Like srsly if something genuinely gets on my nerves then that person has found one of about 3 things in the universe that can possibly annoy me so they should probably get some kind of trophy of a gilded alpaca wearing a tragedy mask. I should start making those.

——————————————

xyz asked:
How do you cope with everyone saying stuff like, ‘your videos are awful’ and stuff because seriously, if I was you I would be crying in a corner somewhere, I mean why do you still make videos when people say stuff like that? If you ever stopped making video I think me and about 499,000 of your subscribers would cry but, I just don’t know how you can just ignore all those people who say you’ve ‘changed’


customerservicedepartment:
Because I know it is literally a 0.1% minority that do not at all represent my followers. My inbox right now is FULL of people saying they ‘love this blog’ because they enjoy ‘laughing at the idiots’ but of course I could never say that because I have to appear like an angel not to offend these people. haha

but I’m only doing this to make those people quiet whilst I get busy making the rest of you happy. :]

——————————————

xyz asked:
I have no idea whether or not this is the right place to ask but, I’m worried that the people with drama will cause too much and you’ll end up just deleting your tumblr so you don’t have to look at this drama and arguing over the silliest things. Do you think that would ever happen?


customerservicedepartment:
No that will never happen, haha. It isn’t a big deal at all this is just here to give explanations more than anything. I like reblogging pictures of dogs in amusing situations far too much.

——————————————

xyz asked:
Doesn’t having this constant stream of fucking drama make you want to quit youtube? Props to you bts, I would have already thrown the towel in long ago.


customerservicedepartment:
Haha no because it’s just an intensely silly 0.01% that don’t understand the concept of not causing drama because it makes the world nicer.

——————————————

Anonymous asked:
does it irritate you when your ‘fans' call you mean names like cunt/faggot etc. ive seen a few people who call themselves fans but are quite shifty about it and usually slag you off. it may be in a jokey way for all i know, i was just wondering if you ever noticed this, and if you did, does it bother/annoy you?


customerservicedepartment:
Haha yes good question. Well no one really calls me a ‘faggot' (I do loathe when girls use that word on the internet. They shouldn't imo) but I know what you mean.

Someone will be like 'whers your new video u twat' and they are making a joke and trying to make me laugh because they know it's my sense of humour. And it is. And I do laugh and I do find it funny.

If someone combines that with saying something wrong/stupid than I will reply to what they said, not the fact they swore at me.

Sometimes if I'm in a D: mood I may find it less funny than other times, haha. but let's say that usually I appreciate the effort people make to be jokey. Jokes are fun I like jokes. Go jokes.

’you’re rude’ ‘no i’m JO-KI-NG’
snowcappedlove asked:
i feel like you spend more time getting mad at our posts than being nice


danisnotonfire:
wow okay i should probably rise above this, but you are ironically literally the only type of person I get annoyed at on the internet. if you are referring to me replying to ‘itsbetterthananal’ the other day - I WAS JOKING. JO-KI-NG. as in “lol!1!!”. do you watch my videos? I like to make jokes and be 'funny’! did you really actually think I was being completely serious? because I wasn’t, and thankfully 99.9% of my followers would very obviously see that. and honestly what are you thinking when you leave an ask like that in my box? I am a -real person- with -actual feelings- that you just messaged. how can you say that?! have you seen my twitter/Facebook page/tumblr?! all I DO is reply to people every single day telling then how much I love and appreciate them. do you see any other youtubers/musician/anyone who spends as much time replying to people as I do? no. that’s because I fricking love all of the guys that watch my videos and it’s a shame that someone like you who is otherwise probably lovely and awesome, can put such a massive downer on my night by saying something like that. sheesh

——————————————

xyz asked:
I can't say whether you've changed that much or not because I've only been a Danosaur for like a month but if you have changed why should it matter? You've matured (ever so slightly), who doesn't? And real fans would stick by you no matter what. As for the people who think you are rude, well they can fuck it! I know you're humour is just sarcastic (so is mine for that) but that doesn't make you rude. You probably already know this but they're are still true Danosaurs who will support you forever


customerservicedepartment:
I think literally 99% of the problem is that people either are foreign/too young or literally too stupid to understand sarcasm or that they actually don't understand the concept of a 'joke' or that someone can say something and be 'joking'. I shouldn't have to apologise for either of those things to be honest but I'd rather explain it to people and get them on my side than be like Ricky Gervais on Twitter. haha :]

——————————————

thats-not-my-glabella asked:
So I don't want to sound like a bitch here, i want you to know that i don't think you are ever rude to people but, you know you made that post about watching orphan and then someone replied to it saying 'so are you gay blabla' and you replied ‘ *bangs head against desk* the joke wouldn't have made sense unless i was talking about adopting', well what if they had no idea if you were gay or otherwise and hadn't seen the film and didn't understand the joke, they may have thought you a little rude:/


customerservicedepartment:
Well the problem with just reading text is you can never tell the emotion behind it. It could have been someone literally just asking me (as you said), or it could have been someone who followed me not getting the joke (which is what I thought), or even more probably could have been someone trolling me or 'joking' back to my joke.

The problem with double jokes is you don't know if the person is being serious or not, but I think at the time a lot of people in my @replies genuinely just didn't get the joke so I replied to that particular tweet explaining it in the hopes that other people who were genuinely confused might read it too. (plus my response was hardly 'rude' was it? It was supposed to be light hearted and funny. I mean really if I said 'NO U STUPID BITCH OMG' that would be rude. Was I 'rude'? I don't really think so. If anyone thinks so then they are incredibly silly and I'm not sorry.)

It's tricky this internet business! Misunderstandings will always happen but we just need to remember that neither of the people meant any harm so it's not really anything bad.

~yay~

——————————————

Anonymous asked:
Come on, Dan, be honest with us. Is Delian canon? I think I speak for everybody when I say we’d all like to know…


customerservicedepartment:
ffs!!1! how many tiems do i have to say its not real??!? omg ur reading toO much fan fiction okay or something iDK like seriusly how can u be supporting me and have no respect for mi priavte life!! and ur wrong about everthing! So stupid!! i am DOne

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Anonymous asked:
daniel i think you read that last one wrong... It doesn't say ‘phan’ it says 'delian’. the person who sent you that was obviously trying to be funny, & make a joke about a completely ridiculous situation. I always understand your sense of humour, but that last post can potentially be perceived as you being really rude to someone for no reason. i know that wasn't the case, so it was probably a misunderstanding or a confusing double joke idk.


customerservicedepartment:
..is this ..a triple joke? i really hope it is.

——————————————

Anonymous asked:
Dear Dan, some people say that you do not care for your fans any more or that you are ‘inconsiderate’ towards them. Personally myself I do not believe this but I do believe that somethings you may say, might come across as either rude or even mean to the person who you have said it to, but I personally think that is due to the face that the majority of your fans are teenage girls with depression/etc and you may need to be a bit more careful with what you say. Love from me (: x


customerservicedepartment:
Well ‘do not care for your fans any more’ is so ridiculous I’m not even going to acknowledge that -but no I explained this a few questions down. I’m literally never rude or inconsiderate to anyone ever and if you think I was then you’re just wrong. The person probably said something rude/wrong/very grammatically incorrect and my response was a ‘joke’.

If you ever see something I’ve said and think I’m being ‘rude’, stop, then read it again as if it was a joke that’s supposed to be light hearted and funny.

I shouldn’t have to dumb myself down or be more boring at risk of offending people who don’t understand. but that’s all! no srs bsnss.

——————————————

Anonymous asked:
omg ok dan its really annoying when you say you're never rude to anyone. I've seen you be rude/mean any times and ok, no ones perfect, whatever but just stop saying you are NEVER rude to anyone, when I've seen it happen a number of times


customerservicedepartment:
Hm. I admit sometimes if I'm annoyed I can be 'blunt' but okay if you find me an example I'll hold my hands up and agree with you If you can. At the very least I'm never 'rude' to someone unless they really offended me quite a lot in some way, in which case I'm sorry for not being an angel regardless of the situation.

fan attention / fame / money
butidontloveludo asked:
It makes me really uncomfortable that people treat you guys like you are form a boyband or something. they forget that you guys are like humanbeings just like us. does it bother you when they scream in front of the bbc building or cry idek


danisnotonfire:
haha hrm honestly it’s flattering! though i sometimes feel sorry for the people who just want to say a relaxed hi and have to stand next to the screaming and flailing lol x]

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Thursday Jul 5 2012 11:12pm
lilyandthegiantsquid asked:
don't you think calling yourself an internet cult leader is a bit pretentious? you're only a vlogger, and not a particularly famous one for that. your fans are more like viewers, not fans per se. i hope this doesn't damage your ego, i'm just telling you what i think.


danisnotonfire:
hi there you must be new here (this is a friendly and non-aggressive response)

firstly i’m known for often making jokes and being obviously-not-srs about certain things. ‘internet cult leader’ is one of those things.
(the what-i-just-said-obviously-wasnt-srs thing is a problem for me more often than you may think)

i’m one of the youtubers who’s actively against referring to followers as 'fans’ (mostly because of the fact some people take offence to it) and in fact the whole reason i make the 'cult leader’ joke is as i referred to my relationship with my viewers once as a 'communist cult with no tiers’ instead of referring to them as 'my army’ or putting 'OMG I LUV MY FANS!!’ in the description of every video

whilst a lot of people enjoy feeling part of a community and some don’t take any offence to the word fan (why is that seen as a bad thing btw? i’d say i’m a communitychannel fan without feeling like an inferior human)
i made sure to say 'invited to become a danosaur’ as whilst some people dgaf, others would prefer to feel they have an individual relationship with me! which i totally appreciate. (isn’t it wonderful than youtube can work both ways)

also whilst literallythemostfamouspeopleintheworld may have millions of subscribers, generally 250,000 is quite large when you are referring to a group of people, so whilst i’d never refer to myself as 'famous’ i think it’s safe to say it’s a large enough collection of people to be valid.

also whilst i’m monologuing i might as well respond to 'you’re only a vlogger’

why is youtube 'fame’ any less valid than a different medium?
is charlie mcdonnell still 'only a vlogger’ if he has millions of more followers than an indie band from scotland or an australian writer?
i think if as a society we can refer to kim kardashian as 'famous’ then somebody who spends their life working hard to entertain/inspire/cheer people up shouldn’t be seen as 'lesser’ just because it’s on the internet!

..

idk if i should g so many f’s but i get quite scared by the word 'pretentious’ and i try to avoid people ever seeing me that way. so thank you for giving me the opportunity to explain my thoughts :]
i wish i could do it more.

*nods top hat and flies out the window*

——————————————

danisnotphilamazingonfire asked:
erm dan, promise that you wont get too famous and forget all of us? :[ so worried.


danisnotonfire:
that is the silliest thing i have ever read you muffin don’t be daft.

——————————————

xyz asked:
Like crabstickz hinted at, do you feel that youtube popularity/commercialisation & monetisation distracts from actually encouraging individual contributors? I mean with your growing audience, does there seem to be more pressure to meet expectations?


danisnotonfire:
eh i mean it might for some people but not for me personally. i’m a lot less concerned with how much money i actually have and more about general ‘success’ which i get by making the best videos i can! i know all about the fact youtubers have to just make what they enjoy making and a byproduct of that for me is that money isn’t something at the forefront of my mind. it’s just something that happens whilst i’m reaching for other goals!

producing content / sticking to uploading schedule
stand-in-your-light1 asked:
Dearest Daniel. Right, you should know that I am NOT saying this in a bitchy/rude/insulting way because I LOVE your videos okay? Now that's over with...I think you making a video every Thursday is a bit silly. I personally loved not knowing when you'd upload a video and was thrilled whenever you did. Now I'm expecting them every week it sort of takes the excitement away. (idk if that even makes sense but anyway) You should take as much time as you want on your videos to make them super awesome.


customerservicedepartment:
Well the thing is, I can't work unless I have a deadline. I don't start revising for exams or doing coursework until the morning that it’s due in. Before it was indeed delightfully spontaneous when I made a video, but it was also on average every two and-a-half weeks which is UNACCEPTABRU.

People would subscribe then literally wonder if I'd died because I'd take so long to make a video compared to most youtubers who make several every week. Promising that by the latest when you wake up on Friday there will be a danisnotonfire video is the best way to make sure I get off my butt and make videos for you guys =D

——————————————

Anonymous asked:
I dont think you should make promises you can't stick to, i mean i love your videos and everything and you're really good at doing videos every thursday. but you said you'd start the SAP in August, but its half way through september now, you said Philisnotonfire 4 would be up in August but i was only uploaded a few days ago. I love your videos and i’m completely so grateful for them! But i think you shouldn't get your fans hopes up.


customerservicedepartment:
Haha okay. Did we at any point say 'hey everybody! are you listening? me and phil hereby promise SAP will start again on this date!' no.

I think we made a couple passing references to the fact it will start again soon. We did not give a date. And we did not keep mentioning it. In fact the reason we haven't started SAP is actually nothing to do with me and Phil at all.

I think 'promises you can't stick to' and generally announcing something is happening soon are two very different things. and to be honest if waiting for a Phil video is one of the most annoying things in your life then you should be thankful. haha :]

——————————————

sven0xx asked:
Dan, you should consider changing your video schedules to Fridays. Your videos are almost never on time. Don't sass me out, I know you're busy, but if you're going to make a deadline, then you should stick to it.


customerservicedepartment:
WOHOAH. well i'll try not to 'sass you out' but why is youtube so srs bsnss?

you haven't paid for the video and there's no actual reason why i need to make videos weekly, i just say 'every thursday' to motivate myself to make stuff for you guys! if i said 'friday' it wouldn't make a difference.

if i upload at 3am on friday that doesn't mean it wasn't on time. you still got a weekly video, it was just finished when it was ready =P

i’m not gonna be like some youtubers who end up uploading crappy videos for the sake of it being 'on time', if there's a reason, or it needs more time, the quality of the video comes first. and that's what it's about.

appearance / fashion
opus-nargal asked:
Why do you wear your pants so low? I shouldn’t really be asking this because it doesn’t really affect my view on you as a person (an extremely cool, made of awesome person, might I say), but I was just curious.


customerservicedepartment:
It’s just the shape of my butt I honestly can’t help it.

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xyz asked:
My only criticisms are your wavy hair is actually the best, readmores are very convenient, and you should talk to my friend Zina (Tumblr user philisnotonfire) because it will make her year :]


customerservicedepartment:
My hobbit hair neverever very rarely looks as nice as it did in 'I Cant Sleep'. Usually it looks like someone with an afro was dragged through a bush. (not a good look) I will be wavy again if it looks good another time!

——————————————

Anonymous asked:
Are you aware of your hipster-ish clothing style? No offense, just asking.


customerservicedepartment:
Hipsters stereotypically wear either second hand oversized clothes from the 70’s, quite intensely alternative/fashionable clothes or just try to be a white skater kid that copies Odd Future. I wear random black tshirts, skinny jeans and white shoes and that’s what I’ve worn since I was 15. I don’t think I dress anything close to what you would correctly define as a ‘hipster’. No offence taken!

——————————————

Anonymous asked:
i hate your butt


customerservicedepartment:
This is a good start I like it.

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Friday Aug 12 2011 08:16am
xyz asked:
You're so tan now my god you make Phil look jizz white.


danisnotonfire:
kind of both actually, i look like taylor lautner and he looks like voldemort. xD

Valentine’s Day Video
megangorex asked:
Daniel I’m afraid to ask, but I’m going to. I’m slightly fairly new to the Phandom and I’ve heard nothing about this Valentine’s Day video until now. I completely respect that it is a video that was taken down a long time ago and shouldn’t have been circulating a few days ago, but I just don’t get the joke in it. What… is it, exactly? *braces for Dan to hate me forever*


danisnotonfire:
the joke is the whole thing. we we’re going to ‘accidentally unprivate it’ on april fools day and watch all the shippers poop themselves and explode then in phil’s next video go ‘PRANK’D U!!!! ahahahahahaha’ but then we decided it’d be too mean and it wouldn’t go down well so we didn’t

——————————————

xyz asked:
(6) I just want you to know that IF you are still a couple (or whatever you were back in the days) I hope you know that all of your fans will love you forever and it won’t change a thing. And if you’re not as close anymore or have turned that thing from the past in a friendship then that’s fine too. As long as you’re happy we’re happy. No one is going to judge you. But I fear despite your ask title you would judge me so I made this account to tell you all of that. I love you guys :] Bye. <3

danisnotonfire:
okay right. i promise to be polite but you have NO IDEA how INFURIATING this is. we ARE NOT and NEVER WERE dating. okay?! the valentines video [b]was a prank!!
'formspring answers' 'skype pictures' - they don't prove anything! it's just what you want to believe. people always ask me why me and phil don't joke around like chris and pj or other people do when we’re shipped together and the answer is we used to until people started taking it too far. the truth and reality is clouded by your craving for it to be real but it's not. we are two p-l-a-t-o-n-i-c friends who used to joke around like anyone else would without a second thought until we decided the Internet is too creepy. and the reason i get so defensive is that when people like you (no offense) exist it shows there is a network of people effectively spreading lies about me behind my back. and if i don’t respond, what’s stopping the majority thinking it’s true? it just isn’t. you have no idea how ridiculous the idea of 'phan' is to our friends and everyone we know in real life especially considering no one on the internet has any idea about our private life or what we do when we aren’t online. it really annoys me and phil and honestly it has changed how we act on the internet after seeing what people think. please show this answer to anyone else who thinks the same as you because it really stresses out about secret crazy shippers as well as all the other stresses of life. thank you!

——————————————

Anonymous asked:
Just thought you should get a warning that people are having a minor dilemma over the new years video, and a ‘secret’ valentines video that may/may not exist. I feel for you Dan, I really do. I mean, it’s basically all irrelevant to your life in general, and having to acknowledge/explain such things must be tedious, but I thought I’d provide you with an ask that isn’t “OMG U PHIL KISS WAT” to address the situation, that is, if you want to. :]


customerservicedepartment:
Oh my god you spoon we made that video to troll people but didn’t make it public as it’d have caused an alpacalypse that would have never ended. *facepalm* As for the video Georgie filmed at new year.. do you actually think we would kiss in a room full of people if we were secretly gay for each other? No it as pretty bloody obvious I was talking to him in a loud room. I know that unlike Larry, Phan shippers have to desperately cling to any moment we make eye contact to convince themselves they aren’t wasting their time, but unfortunately they’re wrong.

=D

——————————————

xyz asked:
Heyy So theres some drama going on the dan and phil tags and i d k what the hell is going on something about a thing called the 'Valentines video'? Do you have any idea?


customerservicedepartment:
yay tumblr tags!! for the fifty billionth time. *bangs head against desk* back in the prehistoric era when youtubers first started finding out about slash fiction, me and phil thought it'd be funny to april fools people with a video confessing our undying love for each other. however we then decided it would be a bad idea to be mean to people and so phil never unprivated it. however one day youtube just casually unprivated it without phil noticing and a bunch of people took it seriously. if you really think phil would upload something to youtube and it's real you are tremendously dense.

look. i really don't have enough time or fucks to give about any of this. i know that some of you that ship phan desperately cling to the most ridiculous crap to try and prove that i'm secretly bumming my friend, but i'm not. whatever conclusions you've come to are wrong. it isn't real and it never will be and yes it's a bit annoying so everyone causing drama is doing it unnecessarily and everyone rabidly foaming all over the internet trying to prove teh phan is reelz!1! is wasting their time and should probably get a better hobby. that is all :]

~back to liffeeee back to realityy~

——————————————

xyz asked:
please could you explain the valentines day video?


danisnotonfire:
we made it as a prank to troll the creepy shippers and we we’re gonna ‘accidentally unprivate it’ on april fool’s day - but then we thought it’d be a bit mean and people wouldn’t get the joke (as everyone kind of proved with that photo of me and bryony the other week) but then youtube legitly accidentally unprivated it and now a bunch of insane dumbwads actually think it’s real. haha (i mean seriously how stupid do you have to be to think phil would upload that to amazingphil if he wanted it to be private *headdesk)

friendship (/relationship) with phil
anonymousphan asked:
I’m curious, would you consider Phil your best friend/a close friend? Because sometimes you say things that make it seem like you just do things with him and put up with him because he’s a fellow Youtuber and it’s easy. x


danisnotonfire:
lolwut of course he is

——————————————

Anonymous asked:
It seems like you and Phil have drifted apart a bit. Is there a reason for this? or am I just being a silly llama?


customerservicedepartment:
What are you even basing that on. What are you even basing that on. Oh my god.

I can't even begin to articulate how unfathomably ridiculous and unnecessary and irrelevant that is to absolutely anything. who are you?!! and how old are you?!?!! like really???! should I even be paying attention to you?!?!! do you have any idea how ridiculous any of this is to everyone me and phil know in real life and people that just like me and phil and our videos?!?!?! why do you seemingly care so much about something and manage to be so disconnected from reality?!?! what problems do you think exist in mine and phil's generic everyday productive life?! are you confusing fan-fiction with reality?!?!?!?! like seriously that's the only explanation I can think of. I do have a youtube account and a twitter if you're interested in reality!!!

I can’t even like seriously I am SO DOne right now omG what even omg

——————————————

Anonymous asked:
Don’t hate me. But you seem really.. ‘not cuddly’ around Phil. I’m not a phan shipper, but you don’t really touch each other’s faces anymore. sorry


customerservicedepartment:
Haha I’m not sure ‘cuddly’ was ever the right word -but that would be because you are basing your opinions on our entire lives and behaviour purely around what you see in videos. If you haven’t seen us touching each others glabella’s it’s because there hasn’t been a phil is not on fire video/Super Amazing Project video in a while. It’s not because we hate each other. Do you understand? That would be intensely silly to think.

——————————————

xyz asked:
what does phil’s dick taste like


danisnotonfire:
what does your grandmas vagina taste like? just imagine it now. you putting your tongue in your grandmas vagina. we! wrong & creepy right? well now you know how i feel!

——————————————

2012-06-07 16:52
itsbetterthananal asked:
i realize this might be a weird question, but when you give yourself boobs in your videos, does phil have to help you stuff it or is that all you? this is starting to bug me im not sure what your expertise are in this type of situation so


danisnotonfire:
..why would phil need to help me put a shirt up my shirt? that’s quite a disturbing image if i do say so

sharing clothes
xyz asked:
can we just establish that you do, in fact, wear phil’s clothes?!!!! xD


danisnotonfire:
well not really in the way you’re implying. i don’t ‘wear his clothes’ unless there’s a specific reason for it. we either own the same item of clothing or if it’s for a video then i’m usually dressing as a ‘character’ or wearing something that i don’t want to get wet or something ~ feel free to post this answer in the tag as my head is hurting from banging against the desk every time i see someone go ‘omG they shur clothis!1 PHAN’ xD

——————————————

XYZ asked:
Why do you say you and Phil don’t share clothes, even with about 7 or 8 photos that prove otherwise?


customerservicedepartment:
When you say you ‘share clothes’ with somebody it implies that often you casually wear the other persons clothes instead of your own whenever you like for whatever purpose. Apart form the 2/3 identical items of clothing me and Phil wear and the jogging bottoms I gave him, there is pretty much always a strange/very specific reason. I might be in a ‘costume’ for a video, I might be wearing something because neither of us mind getting ruined, or blahblahblah. Yes, on occasion we will borrow another persons item of clothing because we need to for a specific reason, but we don’t ‘share clothes’ in the way that some of you probably want us to are implying. Either way I don’t see how this is either that important or interesting. xD

sexuality
Tuesday Dec 20 2011 01:19pm
Anonymous asked:
What's your sexual orientation?


danisnotonfire:
catsexual

——————————————

Friday Mar 30 2012 09:14pm
Anonymous asked:
No judgement, all god's children. But, you're gay aren't you?


danisnotonfire:
no. haha

——————————————

Friday Mar 30 2012 09:16pm
Anonymous asked:
llamasexual?


danisnotonfire:
Yes.

——————————————

Wednesday Apr 11 2012 12:47pm
Anonymous asked:
hey! please contest my ask... I do not want to offend... but, you and Phil are gays?I just want to know if it's true, there are many rumors out there


danisnotonfire:
‘gays’ lol. no

——————————————

allisontheepic asked:
asdfghjkl this drama is starting to piss me off. I already know that you’re bisexual. I’ve been watching your videos for as long as you’ve been making them and I was curious ages ago, back when you still had all of your profiles everywhere. Really easy to google. But you know I never shipped Phan, not until I got a tumblr. And now people are pissing me off and I’m ranting in ask box of a person who is probably going to hate me for writing all this but srsly I just shflfjhadhbgtrdjlfbhdjfjdjldvdj


danisnotonfire:
just so you know i wasn’t a particularly good example of a human 3 years ago and i was very prone to both lying and attention seeking.

——————————————

2012-12-01 15:02
hithepedalheavymetal asked:
ur so gay and you don’t even like boys


danisnotonfire:
well i do jack off listening to mozart what can i say

——————————————

kathrynjeanp asked:
I know you don’t particularly like when fans talk about the whole “Phan” thing, but I really was wondering whether you are supportive of the LGBT community. Being a huge fan of yours, I couldn’t believe some of the things I was hearing about you. So i really did want to know, are you an LGBT supporter? Cause fans who are girls who like girls, or boys who like boys, like to know if their inspiration supports who they are.


danisnotonfire:
well i’m not sure i even want to know what utter rubbish you’ve heard about me. haha. but of course i am! a lot! like any intelligent human i think everyone should have the same rights :]

sex / relationships / attraction
2012-11-04 08:46
kickthebj asked:
stay away from your tag, it’s full of rants and penises atm


danisnotonfire:
omg penises? i am o-ver there

——————————————

2012-11-17 18:59
slythermint asked:
Thumbing sounds like the worst ever sex move.


danisnotonfire:
you wait and see. you just wait.

——————————————

xyz asked:
What would you do if you met a really hot, lovely, smart, funny girl and she was perfect for you but she had a neck fetish? o.O


customerservicedepartment:
If she was THE ONE I guess I’d either have to wear one of those dog lampshade things for the rest of my life or just hypnotise her while she sleeps. It’d be worth it in the end.

——————————————

Monday Oct 24 2011 03:18pm
Anonymous asked:
If you were a teenage girl which member of One Direction would you fancy and why?


danisnotonfire:
zayn because of his face.

——————————————

Sunday Feb 19 2012 01:06pm
Anonymous asked:
if a girl has a lot of stretch marks, does that make her unattractive? :/


danisnotonfire:
no i’m quite weird (orami?) in that i like things like scars/bruises/veins/dark eyes etc

——————————————

Monday Dec 19 2011 02:08pm
naomiarsyad asked:
If you could choose one female celebrity to be in your videos, who will it be? And why?


danisnotonfire:
tilda swinton. i would lick sugar off her body

——————————————

Friday Apr 27 2012 01:31am
Anonymous asked:
So you like reading about milk enemas?


danisnotonfire:
god i read that think when it was ryden like a million years ago or whenever that was. you guys aren’t half as internet creepy as me

i’ll be honest though, i remember at the time thinking i knew most things about sex ..but that.. yeah

lit-ra-lee
Anonymous asked:
Can you please start saying lit-tra-lee again? it was the cutest thing EVAR :3


customerservicedepartment:
no i have been cyber bullied into forever saying it like an american. plus oh god watch ‘I Nearly Died’ it’s like i had a serious problem

——————————————

Anonymous asked:
Why don’t you say lit-ra-lee any more? Instead you say it like an American.


customerservicedepartment:
I basically got cyber-bullied into pronouncing it correctly. Constructive bullying! It’s a thing.

dan vs. phil
Anonymous asked:
Does it annoy you when people say things like "I prefer Dan to Phil" or "I prefer Phil to Dan"? I know people do it a lot, even though you are separate Youtubers…


customerservicedepartment:
it would be silly to be annoyed by that we're different people! haha, we aren’t one organism, we are two different people who make very different kinds of youtube videos. obviously about 50% of our audience likes 'dan and phil’ but if there's somebody that doesn't like my sense of humour or the way phil acts then that's fair enough :]

——————————————

Anonymous asked:
Does it bother you that people always think of you and Phil as a duo and not as individual YouTubers?


customerservicedepartment:
The thing is, again, we’re only talking about 30% that are crazy about me and Phil. We probably have half our subscribers each that just don’t like the other persons videos because they are so different. And that’s fine. It’s just sometimes I wish we were seen as individuals who are friends like Charlie and Alex, rather than a double act like Ant and Dec. Because we aren’t a double act. We are individuals with different lives who are friends that occasionally appear in each others videos because we live in the same apartment. I know on tumblr there is a ‘phan’dom for me and Phil, but there are thens of thousands of people on tumblr that don’t check the tag’s, don’t associate themselves with the ‘phandom’ and just enjoy one of us’ videos. ~and that’s fine~ you can be into whatever you want to be into.

——————————————

dickhowell asked:
i just have to say your rant yesterday about drama and dangirls and stuff was so accurate, thanks for setting everyone straight!


danisnotonfire:
thank you! but omgu a couple people got confused and thought i was saying it’s okay to hate because of different tastes and i was like nuuuuuu i said a) dont bash opinions b) but dont ‘hate’ ever as that makes you a total twat

dan’s opinion of fans
Anonymous asked:
Are you starting to slowly loose faith in your fans ? I dont mean this in a bad way but are you loosing respect for us? Because I am but I have hope for us to not be affected by the fake fans who cause us what they call drama are you okay?


customerservicedepartment:
No. Out of my 375,000 subscribers less than a quarter are on tumblr. Of those only about 10% are the people that post in the tags, send me asks and generally take more of an interest in my existence other than just enjoying my videos. Of this 10% it’s 1/100 times that I’ll see anything remotely negative or annoying. I know that 99.99% of all of my subscribers are generally wonderful and amazing but this blog is here to explain to the 0.01 why what they think isn’t true.

:]

——————————————

fuck-yeah-phan asked:
hey, with all of these negative comments that have been said (i’m not going to say them because i know you wont want me to) it maybe your old fans or new fans that dont know much about you, but the new fans seem to fan girl ALOT and if i was in your position it would annoy me, so i was wondering do you respect the new fans more or the old fans?


danisnotonfire:
how long someone has known about something has nothing to do with how they act as a person! at all. we wall find the people/bands/tvshows we like at some point! we shouldn’t generalise any group of people based on anything :] the world is made of individuals!

fandom drama
Anonymous asked:
Hi dan I was wondering if phil is having problems with phandom and drama too. He is of course apart of phandom yet you guys never talk about it together and it worries me. as surely it’s important to hear from both of you. However I understand if you choose not to as it may cause more phandom if you do.


customerservicedepartment:
No it all stems from the fact that Phil is all rainbows and kittens while I try to make ‘jokes’ and ‘be funny’ which occasionally people misunderstand and cause drama.

=D

——————————————

tabbycat23 asked:
it annoys me so much when there has been a tiny disagreement and them everyone goes STOP THE DRAMA GUYS and then anyone looking trough the tags just want to know about the "drama" and then everyone thinks its a big deal! but if i post itin the tags about this, im only making it worse, but other dont seem to get that. they dont get that they're just making it worse tring to make it better!
xxxxxxxxxxx


customerservicedepartment:
Haha yes this is my favourite thing. When there's apparently 'drama' somewhere but no one can find it, instead there's dozens of posts just saying 'omG STOP Teh DRMA' or 'wher is it??' which blows it massively out of proportion. xD

OH INTERNET U SO SILLY

There should be a permanent pinned post at the top of the danisnotonfire tag reminding people that posting anything drama related will just perpetuate it so it's punishable by death by exile.

phan iz real!111!!!
Anonymous asked:
does phan iz real!111!!! annoy you and phil and really embarrass you? an also just wondering does it irritate you when girls obsess over how hot you are, and make you think your videos arent that great (they are ! ) x


customerservicedepartment:
I guess the thing is that (a la my video ‘I Will Go Down With This Ship) back in 2008 a youtuber just had nice nerdy people casually enjoying their videos, and 30 year old guys leaving hater comments. It was as simple as that.

The thing that confounds me is that all of the ‘drama’ is caused by people who theoretically like my videos and support me?! When I see people being SO SERIOUS about stupid crap on the internet it just makes me think why isn’t this happening to iJustine or Shane Dawson? Why is this even happening, why can’t they just go about their lives then just enjoy the videos I upload? It’s not like I get extra money by having to deal with all the insanity! haha.

I just think it becomes like a game or a soap opera to some people and they forget the guy is a real person. They get caught up in the fun of the drama and the mystery of shipping people and put people on pedestals so high and follow every aspect of their life that any time they do anything wrong it’s immediately scrutinized and blown out of proportion.

I mean it’d be fine if I was Harry Styles and I could go ‘oh internet u so silly sometimes’ then get away from the internet sit on my pile of £10,000,000 and lol, but I don’t actually have any money and I actually use tumblr/twitter every day. hahah

Idk it just feels like sometimes I have to deal with normal problems like taxes and families and life aspirations but at the same time cater to the 5% of my internet followers who are like a rabid pack of hamsters that are bipolarly incredible and sigh.

Oh well. lllolololollollolololllolll *plays guild wars 2*

——————————————

pieces0frainbow: “ok so i dont think i ever posted this. this is what Dan replied to -like last year- me when I asked about phan and people shipping it etc.” - 9 February 2013

danisnotonfire:
No I’ve always said I have no problem with fanfiction (it’s not like I can stop anyone) and even a horrific drawing of me having a threesome with Phil and a giraffe would make me laugh and I’d think it’s a bit creepy but totally amazing. The only thing that annoys me is people convincing other people that ‘phan is real’ as then it will spread like it’s a fact, when it isn’t. The only thing that annoys me on the internet is seeing things without context, then people basing opinions on it.

——————————————

xyz asked:
I decided to ask instead post a text post and caused shitstorm because it’s really annoying. So yeah, some people started to posting 'phan proof’ again (IF you wanted to know, go to phan tag. I think you shouldn't, tho). I honestly read phanfics. In good to improve my writing skills, some of them are really good. But 'proofs' and stuff are super annoying. Like yeah, I'm a fangirl with my own OTP. But it’s really annoying -_- why are people do that in your opinion? Thanks, Daniel :]


customerservicedepartment:
Well! That’s why this blog is here. Tell them to send me an ask here and I'll explain why they're wrong and they should stop annoying me and Phil =D

——————————————

danisnotonfire said: those are both my hands you plank. also i was sitting forward on the sofa - not on phil’s lap. and i’m guessing you’re new here as you are talking about the clothes someone needs to go outside

possibly responding to something like this that was posted on tumblr???

regarding 3rd parties
thephandomistheworst asked:
i want you to understand that your tweet to miranda sawyer has now caused people to threaten her life, access her email, and proceed to send her death threats. you basically managed to get an entire fandom to demonize a woman


danisnotonfire:
what you mean my carefully worded and totally warranted reply to her made people do things and that was my fault?

i’m sorry but whilst i would like everyone to be as mature as i intend to be, i did not tell anyone to do anything, and i am not responsible for the behaviour of individuals.

——————————————

Anonymous asked:
Hello. I don’t mean to be pushy (you’ve got to believe me, I really truly don’t =P) but I sent you a message a month or so ago (on your regular blog) that IMO was and is still very important. I emailed the content of the message to myself in case I ever needed it but I can’t seem to find it to re-send to this blog (since it seems more appropriate)/ I was wondering if it was still in your inbox, and if it is, could you reply at some point when you have time? Sorry if it’s an inconvenience.


I’m sorry! The unfortunate problem is that I literally get so many tweets/messages/emails that if I answered them all day it would take up every waking hour of my life. I currently have a 5-figure number of tumblr messages in my inbox and whilst I privately answer a lot ever day it can’t be helped if I miss some.

——————————————

Saturday Mar 31 2012 02:44pm
Anonymous asked:
What do you have against the Sherlock fandom? There are some really stupid people in it, I agree. But we also have some amazingly intelligent people, too. This sounds stupid and defensive. But whatever.


danisnotonfire:
okay so two weeks ago i reblog one funny photo of someone who isn’t me pointing out something to another person who isn’t me in reply to 3 people who i don’t know and you decide i have something against the sherlock fandom?

——————————————

(TW: suicide!)
xyz asked:
PLEASE READ THIS. abc, a co-runner of a popular danisnotonfire & amazingphil blog (i wont say the url ‘cause it changes everyday) tried to commit suicide a couple of days ago. It failed though, and shes in the hospital now. One of the things she told me as i tried (and was shit at) to talk her out of it was that she doesnt think she deserves to be your fan. I hope this wasnt too long for you so you decided not to read it but PLEASE just reply to this saying that you love her? <3


danisnotonfire:
:O i would never want anybody to hurt themselves! especially somebody who supports me! it sounds like she needs people like you who care about her. as do i! so tell her that i love her and that she is special and i want her to be happy.

random/funny questions
im-a-danosaur-hear-me-roar asked:
This is a question that has been bothering the Phandom for a LONG time. Do you like pasta?


danisnotonfire:
yes but i don’t eat it that often because phil is cheese phobic

——————————————

meowamazingashleyisnotonfire asked:
Your new video was great EXCEPT for the fact that you didn’t become an emotional little princess. COME ON DANIEL. WE NEED AN EMOTIONAL PRINCESS EVERY ONCE IN A WHILE.


danisnotonfire:
no

——————————————

the-p0int-of-no-return asked:
Dan. I wrote a poem for you. PLEASE TAKE THIS AS A JOKE. I love you like a summer’s day, please tell me that you’re not gay, because I want you desperately and we match so perfectly, I want to marry you, think of everything we’ll do, we’ll make lots of babies, and never get rabies. (couldn’t think of anything else to rhyme with babies) LOVE ME


danisnotonfire:
thank you that was beautiful. it touched my heart like a gazelle sneezing a feather onto a matress.

domestic / how dan spends his time / is dan cool
Thursday Feb 16 2012 02:51pm
Anonymous asked:
I would come off anon but I'm embarrassed to, but I honestly am curious and want to know your thoughts on drugs and how you seem so interesting and fun without them. I'm sorry if this is terribly pathetic I understand if you don't post an answer


danisnotonfire:
how do i seem so interesting and fun without drugs?????
what?!

this isn’t even a discussion on the subject - but seriously? what on earth do ‘drugs’ have to do with being an 'interesting’/'fun’ person?

i’m a wat

——————————————

Wednesday Apr 25 2012 03:10am
rachiriot asked:
I swear your the only person other than me online at 3am =P


danisnotonfire:
well you see usually i watch dexter with phil at 2am but as he is not here i’m stuck in a strange limbo where i think i should be sleeping but my day needs some kind of closure


help

——————————————

Saturday Aug 4 2012 06:39pm
lemongraves asked:
If you could teleport where would you go and why


danisnotonfire:
to the fridge as i am hungry but i cba to move due to me being in a very strange position with my laptop that is probably very bad for my spine that i’m not sure how i got in

——————————————

Saturday Nov 24 2012 02:00pm
these-hands-stained-red asked:
but the question is Dan were you uncool before uncool was cool?


danisnotonfire:
i think i’ve always somehow managed to be the one type of uncool that is still uncool.

——————————————

Friday Jul 29 2011 09:18pm
Anonymous asked:
Shouldn't you be out getting girls and partying etc like what I imagine in my head most 20 something year old guys doing right now?


danisnotonfire:
well i’m currently in sicily with my family so probably not -right now- and don’t worry when the semester starts again i will have to do lots ‘partying’ whether i like it or not. x]

——————————————

Wednesday Nov 9 2011 09:11pm
Anonymous asked:
Hey, wanna get pizza, play Final Fantasy, watch Donnie Darko on the sofa and maybe fall hopelessly in love?


danisnotonfire:
I’d usually be all like ‘oh anon.. harharhar’ but that actually sounds like an awesome evening.

happiness
Thursday Nov 3 2011 10:01pm
jaz0ful asked:
You always seem to be happy, how do you stay happy all the time?And sorry I feel like I stalk you half the time o.0 I just have nothing better to do than talk to people who I don't even know ...


danisnotonfire:
hm. well everyone has issues and stresses, but i see it as my job to be a positive presence on the internet!
i mean i know lots of you guys would care about my problems and stuff,
(and i appreciate that :]) but i like people being able to rely on me to put a smile into their day!

——————————————

flutist98 asked:
dan, have u always been happy?


danisnotonfire: no! not for a long time but i am now :] and it’s getting better.
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Re: customerservicedepartment & Dan's Tumblr asks

PostPosted by oqua » Wed Apr 27, 2016 5:59 pm

And here are some more answers I've found whilst wading through the "danisnotonfire" Tumblr tag from 2012. Truly a dark place. *shudders*

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Re: customerservicedepartment & Dan's Tumblr asks

PostPosted by spider » Thu Apr 28, 2016 12:42 am

It's interesting how aggressive Dan was about the Vday video regardless of whether you think it was real or not. In other answers he wasn't as aggressive even when he was obviously annoyed. These were the most aggressive replies to non Vday questions and comments.
  • that is the silliest thing i have ever read you muffin don’t be daft.
  • dont ‘hate’ ever as that makes you a total twat

And these were the most aggressive replies to Vday questions and comments.
  • if you really think phil would upload something to youtube and it's real you are tremendously dense.
  • youtube legitly accidentally unprivated it and now a bunch of insane dumbwads actually think it’s real
  • how stupid do you have to be to think phil would upload that to amazingphil
  • who are you?!! and how old are you?!?!! like really???! should I even be paying attention to you?!?!!

He never insulted anyone straight unless it was about the Vday video. He had to make multiple repetitive posts asking people to respect his and his friends and family's privacy about old photos and he didn't get nearly as aggressive as with Vday.
i’m not being mean but why do people like you spend all your time dedicating to ruining my privacy?! pictures of my life from before i was a youtube are non of yours or anyone’s business! do none of you have any respect at all for me or my feelings?! 

And this was when people were actually snooping into his private life not just speculating on a video that was already unprivated.

:thanks: oqua as usual for the great archiving. <3
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Re: customerservicedepartment & Dan's Tumblr asks

PostPosted by oqua » Fri May 27, 2016 3:48 pm

FYI, for a version of this post that includes the screenshots, check out this tumblr post I made.
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Re: customerservicedepartment & Dan's Tumblr asks

PostPosted by onetruetrash » Mon Apr 03, 2017 6:56 pm

It was only until a found this post that I understood how dark a time it was for Dan in 2012.
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Re: customerservicedepartment & Dan's Tumblr asks

PostPosted by CallMeAyana » Thu Apr 06, 2017 6:27 am

...I couldn't see the current Dan say those things. How much time has passed, and how much he matured as a person. Some say that 2012 might happen again someday, but if anything, it probably won't be as intense as this. Thank you for posting this, oqua! :bigthumbsup: I'm actually really glad that you guys kept some things archived, and even shared it with us new Phandom plebs :lol:
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Re: customerservicedepartment & Dan's Tumblr asks

PostPosted by onetruetrash » Mon Apr 17, 2017 12:00 pm

It's weird how he said that he was happy. I wonder who he was trying to convince, his fans or himself.
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