Dan & Phil Out of Context

A place to compile and archive information for reference/analysis.
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DryCereal
koi pond
Posts: 1989
Joined: Sun Mar 27, 2016 7:59 am
Pronouns: she/her
Location: UK

Just for fun:
Feel free to add your own gems to the collection so we all can go to hell together.

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Phil
Don’t bang me
Dan
Has anybody seen my penis?
Phil
You missed it so much you've mounted me already?!
Dan
So Phil, how was your erection?
Phil
Board me
Dan
Oh my god, I am really high
Phil
Wait - lets get a little bit more juice in there
Dan
Fuck, I missed the hole
Phil
That was a tense experience
Dan
Phil... didn't hit the G spot
Phil
TOUCH ME!
Dan
Screwing montage!
Phil: That was something I still have nightmares about.
Dan: We did that. We did it. It was a thing!
IckleMissMayhem's evil fic writing alter ego. :twisted:
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PolarFox
truth bomb
Posts: 347
Joined: Sun Mar 27, 2016 6:00 pm
Pronouns: she/her
Location: Alderaan

The first ones that come to my mind:
Soz if they are not 100% correct :D
Dan: Suck my... Banana?
Phil: Do you want to mount me again?
Dan&Phil: WE GOT THE D!!
Phil: I'm gonna be the girl, you're gonna be the boy...
Dan: You don't have to make a noise everytime I apply the wood.
Phil to Dan: Swallow!
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Awww! You clicked on my signature!
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DryCereal
koi pond
Posts: 1989
Joined: Sun Mar 27, 2016 7:59 am
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Location: UK

Phil
As I child, I did savour some pennies in my time...
Dan
That, Ladies and Gentlemen, was peer pressure
Phil
Look at how exaggerated Spiderman's crotch is. Thanks for that.
Dan
Smell my finger
Phil
I thought we could try it out now, it's probably a terrible idea, but I'm known for my terrible ideas...
Dan
I don't know the science. You might be happy to just not question the science Phil, but I-I want to know why this is happening and I don't trust it.
Phil
There ends the odyssey of the toilet.
Dan
I dare you to kiss it. Don't make out with it, that would be-
IckleMissMayhem's evil fic writing alter ego. :twisted:
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DryCereal
koi pond
Posts: 1989
Joined: Sun Mar 27, 2016 7:59 am
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Location: UK

One more (edit: each) for now, cos I just can't help myself

Dan
Father Christmas is going to come down the chimney and slap you for your infidelity
Phil
So we've got socks, pants, stationery, time-machines, clothes, clothes, clothes, and the DRAWER OF SHAME!
Last edited by DryCereal on Thu Apr 07, 2016 11:14 am, edited 2 times in total.
IckleMissMayhem's evil fic writing alter ego. :twisted:
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daphenaxa
blobfish
Posts: 680
Joined: Sat Mar 26, 2016 11:32 pm
Pronouns: she/her

From the blessings that were the bishi-bashi videos:

Phil
I bishi bashi alone quite a lot
Dan: She's my waifu
Phil: That's MEEEE
If you’re attracted to somebody, you’ll want them to sniff you eventually - Dan
*Phil is turned on by Dan's brilliance* *they kiss* *they have sex in the microwave* - Oqua (actually Phil)
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smarties
glabella
Posts: 79
Joined: Tue Mar 29, 2016 2:21 pm
Pronouns: she/her
Location: IT

Oreo lick race gem...

Phil
No teeth, just tongue
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DryCereal
koi pond
Posts: 1989
Joined: Sun Mar 27, 2016 7:59 am
Pronouns: she/her
Location: UK

Dan
Who's gonna stop touching themselves? Dan's going to stop touch...ing... his hair.
IckleMissMayhem's evil fic writing alter ego. :twisted:
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lucydenia
placenta
Posts: 4
Joined: Wed Apr 06, 2016 3:31 am
Pronouns: she/her

Phil
You loved it. You want to do it more.
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kay
phabergé
Posts: 291
Joined: Sun Mar 27, 2016 8:22 pm
Pronouns: she/her
Location: LA

All from my favorite DAPG video god there's so many in this one video

Dan
Can't find what, the G-spot?
Dan
Tossing my erotic hair!
Phil
I'm better with my feet than I am with my hands.
Dan
Insert it into him.
Phil
Take my erect --
Dan
...
Phil
I was going to say "hair."
Dan
Yes, my favorite move of yours, Phil.
Phil
Power fist.
Dan
I've got a feeling... a tingly feeling that says we're going to do this.
And Undertale part 1 of course:

Dan
You're huge.
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DryCereal
koi pond
Posts: 1989
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Location: UK

Phil
That's not being in the video.
Dan
There's something about that butt
Phil
It's actually rat poison, I'm just trying to get rid of the big YouTubers, too much competition out there!
Dan
Phil! - Such an exhibitionist!
Dan
STICK IT IN YOUR MOUTH!
Phil
You'd feel really good afterwards as well.
Dan
It's trash, and everyone on the internet knows it, but you can blame me...
IckleMissMayhem's evil fic writing alter ego. :twisted:
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Ticia
suspended
Posts: 810
Joined: Tue Apr 05, 2016 4:19 pm
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Location: Europe

Phil
I keep wanting to lick myself.
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DryCereal
koi pond
Posts: 1989
Joined: Sun Mar 27, 2016 7:59 am
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Location: UK

Phil
He was looking at reviews for suction on hoovers the other day...
Dan
boo-doo-boo-da-doo-boo Wah-hoo!
Phil
It didn’t specify what kind of goat…
Dan
Don’t worry neighbours - nothing weird going on in here…
Phil
…of course I’m the one who gets blindfolded…!
Dan
Don’t invite them Phil. You just invited them…!
Phil
Seriously, if anyone wants to name a baby, just go to the comments section on our video…
Dan
Oh god… that makes me ONE percent more comfortable…
Phil
because the queen would kill you with a shotgun!
Dan
Wow Phil, that’s problematic. You shouldn’t make fun of something someone can’t change about themselves…
Phil
You always forget your second child. That’s why there’s no photos of me at home. FORGOTTEN. Anywayyyy…!
Dan
Did you GLEEK on the screen… there is moisture!
IckleMissMayhem's evil fic writing alter ego. :twisted:
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Ticia
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I can't even think of a context that it doesn't have that meaning.
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DryCereal
koi pond
Posts: 1989
Joined: Sun Mar 27, 2016 7:59 am
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Location: UK

Phil
Philip Lester. Don’t add him. He might be an 80-year old man - HE MIGHT! - He might also be a really handsome prince, I mean you never know… You never know!
Dan
My god, you can’t adjust your hair!!!
Phil
I could scare a chicken away that’s walking towards me…
Dan
I am on butt-watch. I am watching both of your butts. Intensely.
Phil
Goodbye naked lady! Thanks for riding my arm!
Dan
I should just stop trying to defend myself. And tweeting anytime I do something stupid.
Phil
I’m just going to guess where your mouth is… Around there?
Dan
Don’t worry, nothing educational or informative…
Phil
Just stay still! This is what you signed up to!
Dan
So I went to a shop, and got loads of weird stares, BUT!
Phil
You shall not pass! Oh… That was Gandalf wasn’t it? That wasn’t Jesus.
Dan
Like an old lady in a cartoon: “Hello Kids!”
Phil
I would remove my skin, and replace it with crosswords.
Dan
Ow, my abs. OK. Oh, I can order pizza later now…
Phil
You know what rhymes with concentrate? SHUT UP!
Dan
I don’t know why I deflowered the walrus…
Phil
Dan this is going to end up in ambulances!
Dan
Oh god… there’s the impending doom…!
Phil
I’m going to shut the blinds in case any neighbours are watching…
Dan
And you may be wondering what it is about this seemingly dull, inanimate object that’s getting on my tits… but ooooohhhhhhh…!
IckleMissMayhem's evil fic writing alter ego. :twisted:
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DryCereal
koi pond
Posts: 1989
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Location: UK

Phil
I was banging so hard that it woke up all the neighbours and their dogs and all the pigeons in London
IckleMissMayhem's evil fic writing alter ego. :twisted:
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DryCereal
koi pond
Posts: 1989
Joined: Sun Mar 27, 2016 7:59 am
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Location: UK

Dan
Guys, I'm not going to trust you and all your strange feminine liquids that I don't know how to control...
IckleMissMayhem's evil fic writing alter ego. :twisted:
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swofro
angel bean
Posts: 1028
Joined: Sun Mar 27, 2016 6:39 am
Pronouns: she/her
Location: asia

Phil
That's a lot of juice..
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Image
Love is forever
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hunnyftw
phabergé
Posts: 277
Joined: Sun Apr 17, 2016 7:40 am

Phil
Ding me! I'll ding myself if you don't ding me
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Catallena
classy cat lady
classy cat lady
Posts: 3206
Joined: Wed Mar 30, 2016 6:56 pm
Location: The Netherlands

How was this classic not mentioned yet?

Dan
I'm a fulltime internet homo.
Doubles as best malapropism, but let's ignore that part.
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Twitter *•.(★).•* Tumblr
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DryCereal
koi pond
Posts: 1989
Joined: Sun Mar 27, 2016 7:59 am
Pronouns: she/her
Location: UK

Dan
Find a friend, make them your best friend, make them your worst enemy because you'll want to punch them in the face... Good times!
Phil
Just illegally buy two monkeys and a seal and just let them go at it in your living room
IckleMissMayhem's evil fic writing alter ego. :twisted:
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DryCereal
koi pond
Posts: 1989
Joined: Sun Mar 27, 2016 7:59 am
Pronouns: she/her
Location: UK

Dan
ohhhhh... but I wanna explore all the holes...
IckleMissMayhem's evil fic writing alter ego. :twisted:
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coffee pig
woodland creature
Posts: 574
Joined: Mon Mar 28, 2016 4:37 pm
Pronouns: ''ugh, her again''
Location: London

Phil
Now everyone wants to lick my butt.
{ bisexual Philophile and respectful stalker since 2008 }
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SquishPhan
capita£ester
Posts: 2502
Joined: Sun Mar 27, 2016 11:18 pm
Pronouns: she/her
Location: The Netherlands

Dan
I wasn't going to spit on you.
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DryCereal
koi pond
Posts: 1989
Joined: Sun Mar 27, 2016 7:59 am
Pronouns: she/her
Location: UK

Phil
…of course I’m the one who gets blindfolded…!
Dan
Phil. Phil. This is the third time we've had this conversation.
(I can't put one in without one from the other. Feels mean somehow.)
IckleMissMayhem's evil fic writing alter ego. :twisted:
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Ticia
suspended
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Joined: Tue Apr 05, 2016 4:19 pm
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Location: Europe

Phil:
Did you like my snake?
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