:42 - Dan clarifying that younow is who he will actually be interacting with. I'm so fascinated by how they're going about all of this multi-platform livestream integration. I wonder if younow stresses to them to try and drive people to the actual live feed or if that's just Dan wanting people watching it later on to understand that he's not live.
2:38 - New internet router. He starts talking about things that happened to disconnect the internet, and I immediately think of Dan accusing Phil is masturbating too enthusiastically and breaking it.
4:18 - "I said next to you for six hours, said Daisy. When? Oh - was that Harry Potter? Cool." Immediate recognition, neutral tone and swiftly moving on. How hyper aware of being by a fan was he? How much did that add to why Sunday was stressful to him?
5:27 - Starts talking about meme video. "And I only lost most of my sanity." Over one hundred thousand submissions. Beginning trend of how he talks about the meme submissions: "A rabbit hole of a kind to put your head down. I saw some shit in that inbox." I imagine this relates to what he says later about there being a line that he needs to stay on the right side of.
6:50 - Evan Peters jumper. Why would people be angry over him wearing it? Does he think people get angry with his crushes becoming memes? If so I think he has a skewed perception on that.
7:30 - We don't know if Pete Wentz unfollowed Dan because of the gaming tweet, but timing was right. "High percent chance that Phil did get me kinkshame unfollowed by one of my teen idols."
8:50 - Describes it as a "harrowing, emotional experience" - this sounds genuine. I think Dan in his meme video was reenacting genuine emotions, recreating what he genuinely felt when he saw it f. I don't know that I like that but I don't think his overacting is rooted in fabrication.
10:26 - "Slightly wanting death" as he looked at memes and laugh-wheezed. This is something he repeats throughout the liveshow, and I think in his mind the waiting for/wanting death is him laughing at a mindset that he's familiar with. I don't think it's 100% literal or 100% a joke. I think it is exactly what Dan says he does later in the liveshow, laughing at his own issues because that is healthy for him.
10:57 - "Not supposed to be interacting with you" in the youtube livechat.
11:33 - The last liveshow got 600k views. He seems to assume those people don't know liveshows exist and are mostly new viewers. My assumption would just be that those people would have rewatched it somewhere else later, and now go to his channel.
13:36 - Describing other people's reactions to the video. "Waiting for death" used as a signifier of someone's interpretation of his attitude, again not literal but also not completely dismissive.
14:28 - "Sometimes I forget that this sense of humor, this whole like, sarcastic all the time, self-deprecating, openly-laugh-at-all-of-your-mental-health-problems - which is a good thing that shows that we're all about being real with our problems, because some people say oh it can't be good for you, being all joking about yourself all the time, but I think it's the complete opposite. The people with these self-aware, self-deprecating sense of humors - just think about it, what does it say? If you can joke about your problems in a way that some people feel like 'am I allowed to laugh at this?' what this shows is that you're aware that you have issues, you acknowledge them, and you don't let them define you, and you're willing to talk about them and find them funny, and it's actually a very healthy attitude."
15:23 - "Therapy with Dan. Indeed."
16:32 - "My hair doesn't want to be straight. Insert jokes. So here I am. Wavy Dan is rising."
16:53 - "Just like you." His tiny grin here indicates he knows exactly what that person in the chat is responding to, but all Dan says next is "Thank you."
17:03 - "You're all saying in a way like, awww, don't be ashamed of your hideous flaw." Jesus, Dan. This - this is how Dan processes compliments. It's not just a compliment. He looks at it from all angles to figure out how valid the compliment is, how it can be interpreted as not really a compliment. I think his list of reasons why he shouldn't take a compliment to heart is probably extensive.
17:08 - "Not supposed to be looking." re: youtube chat, the promotes younow.
18:38 - dinof has returned, the next thing on his and Phil's agenda is gaming videos. Leads into promoting Phil's video. He makes a point to say they're true stories and the reenactments/storytelling aren't exaggerated.
18:36 - Third casual use of "I want death."
18:45 - Talking about photoshopping the selfie from Harry Potter, and celebrities photoshopping pictures.
20:05 - Proud of the thumbnail for the memes video.
20:55 - Describes the process of picking out memes as watching "an embarrassing slideshow of all the things that have happened."
21:22 - Dan is an introvert who needs to be alone to recharge. I appreciate him explaining introvert vs extrovert to anyone who might not quite get the concepts. Dan and Phil not going outside is a trope of their own making but when Dan speaks seriously about not leaving the house there's often a sense of pity or disbelief from people instead of awareness that it's just their (Dan, especially) version of recharging.
21:55 - "Don't live in a black and white universe. You can be all over the place."
22:50 - He did a quiz that said he's an INFJ, and seems to be trying to make a point that the kind of person who would take the quiz to begin with is usually that personality type.
23:45 - La La Land talk.
24:48 - Whiplash is one of his favorite movies.
25:37 - "My earrings! They're gone."
26:25 - Actually crying in the video? It was the triangle of tiredness, happiness, sad. "That g-spot of emotion, that's what I hit at the end of that video."
26:41 - Loved La La Land, but not as much as Moulin Rouge or Book of Mormon.
27:20 - He cried at the end of La La Land.
28:00 - Disneyland story, about his mum getting him out of school for a week in January and Disneyland Paris being completely empty. "I had like, the best time ever." His parental mentions have been positive two weeks in a row, I'm waiting for the other shoe to drop.
29:48 - He got an unconditional for Manchester because he got a really great personal statement. I enjoy when he relates something positive back to university, as opposed to when he talks about leaving it.
31:30 - Lego box story. "LEGO sent me and Phil each - even though we live at the same address - some LEGO Batman merch." Dan's disdain for getting LEGO merch is interesting, considering he spent four hours putting together iron bead art a couple weeks ago.
34:30 - Sherlock talk
35:00 - "[reading from chat]'Johnlock, ffs.' Really, really? Okay, lets not go there."
36:15 - Dan giving his stance on why he can't really go into detail on controversial topics: "What are other topics that are risky? Ooh, politics. You know, you can give top level things, but I can't really go into depth. Dan, do you agree with this politician? I go yes or no. Well, the world's not as simple as that. Maybe you disagree with some policies, maybe you agree with some ways that they conduct themselves, maybe you think that Obama is a good person, you think that he's a good politician [but] disagree with some other things, but if you just go like - if someone was go to 'I like Hillary' 'I like Trump' then it's like [blargh noise at the screen]. Know what I mean?"
37:50 - "Is your first video a sensitive topic? I am a sensitive topic, because apparently it'll make me cry."
38:10 - Answers a question by someone who doesn't care about politics by explaining that they should appreciate life until they start, because they'll be in a state of perpetual screaming. Accurate.
39:06 - Says Black Butler is okay.
39:23 - Cursed Child conversation begins.
42:03 - Dan finds stories about time travel annoying because it's pointless. I agree, but I also like this insight into what he likes in a story - progression, narrative, maybe more than characters. Phil seems to be the opposite, he's expressed how he likes relationships in shows more than action.
42:31 - "That's legit your stage show." That he laughs at this made it such a cute moment.
43:37 - "'Dan you're so boring.' Well, stop watching." Honing in on the negative amidst overwhelming praise. #justdanthings
43:40 - Black Mirror reference.
43:48 - Mentions side channel video he was going to make, but Alfie did it first. Why was Dan going to do an unboxing on his side channel? Is this indicative that he's actually trying to use it, maybe for more than just a home for liveshows?
44:40 - He will be surprised if the world is still functional in fifty years. I wonder how Phil, with his aversion to talking about death and attachment to the people he love not aging, feels about Dan holding opinions like that?
45:18 - Dan eager to point out how his mindset has changed from 18 to 25. "In 2017, you kind of stop being a dick."
47:45 - "Many colors really suit me, but that's on the outside. On the inside, the only color that suits me is black."
49:00 - "Do you ship scorbius?" "Yeah. I do. And all of you that think you ship scorbius and then haven't seen the stage show, your life is tragic. I saw the hug irl. Joking. But no, seriously. [mumbles] Good actors." A good old fashioned joe-king, aww. Wants to acknowledge liking something homoerotic, maybe doesn't want it to be forever attached to his brand and inescapable to the point that he no longer even likes it because it's become more associated with his fandom in his mind than the thing it started out as being.
49:50 - Mentions the Google Pixel, jokes about spon, but is still using the iphone 7.
50:20 - Piano.
50:35 - Gets a compliment about the piano and is extremely dismissive. 'You're so good!' said Andrews. Oh my god, were those eleven notes that I played, some of which were wrong 'cause I forgot already, amazing? I am so amazing at piano. Can you believe how amazing I am? Honestly. Other people that play the piano should be really jealous of my ability to just pummel out those seven notes."
51:36 - Gets someone pointing out he got the notes wrong and responds equally dismissively/defensively to the critique as he did the compliment. "Melina, I was stood up, and I literally started learning it about half an hour ago. Am I amazing, or am I a dork? Welcome to the internet, people. Do you think you could survive this maelstrom? Imagine yourself, a dog - a peaceful person - a chill, swaggy human of the earth - at one with nature, but also an intellectual - purveyor of fine memes - decide hey, I'm just gonna learn this thing on the piano, why not? You're learning it. And then imagine, all of a sudden - thousands of opinions attack you. People are saying you're amazing! Then somebody else says, you're shit! How do you deal with that? How do I deal with that? And the answer is simple: I'm simply dead inside, and expect nothing. Not recommending that to you, but it really works for me. Just, the less attached you are to the physical universe, the less serious you take anything.But it requires many months of meditating face down on a carpet to really appreciate this perspective and reach that level of despondent enlightenment." I wonder if Dan is taking the opportunity to say some of these things because he does actually think it's a new audience, a chance for him to present himself to a group of people who don't normally watch the liveshows, and how much the chance to forge a new impression of himself outside of dinof appeals to him.
52:55 - "I'll keep the peace sign sometimes. But I should try to just do like, other faces." After what he said in the meme video about the peace signs being a coping mechanism, I love what this statement stands for. He's not under any illusion that he'll stop relying on convenient and familiar poses during settings where he's feeling anxious, but he wants to try to brand out a little.
53:18 - Yuri is his favorite YOI character. I hope someone who is more into YOI than me comes back and comments on what this could mean, and why Dan might identify with or like Yuri best.
54:15 - "I'm in my twenties and puberty just hasn't finished for me." Because he can't grow a beard, thinks he'll be thirty before he can. "Basically, me and puberty was like - congratulations, you're 6'3"... the rest will come."
55:06 - Anime opinions.
55:25 - Someone says they relate to his last video, and he asks what they relate to them goes on a tangent about how the people laughing at when he does something wrong comes hand in hand with lots of people who love and respect him. He describes it in a cyclic way, like realizing that his job is to make people smile makes him smile, but doesn't negate the negative feelings that come along with it either.
56:30 - "I don't want to know. The less I know the better, to be honest. Much like the meme video, there's a certain amount I should be aware of and just - not. So lets make sure we always keep on the right side of that thing." I genuinely believe that there are pockets of fandom that Dan and Phil both strive to avoid. I don't think his desire to keep tapped in relates to scrounging around in the dark corners of intense relationship speculation, or probably even sexuality speculation.
57:00 - Probably going to Vidcon LA. Not sure about Europe, because he and Phil just did Europe.
57:22 - Talks about Phil and Pokemon.
59:35 - Dan admits he is Slytherin, and Albus is now his favorite character so he doesn't feel bad about being Slytherin.
1:00:16 - Terrarium. He spent "nearly an hour" arranging moss, so it looked like a tiny garden inside the glass sphere. When hanging it, the moment he let go, the rope snapped.
1:02:17 - "And the thing was, Phil was like - Dan, you had a very intense week making the meme video, and then Harry Potter was really, really long, and then you watched the Sherlock episode, so Sunday wasn't the most relaxing. So you should enjoy this Monday, and I was like - well, I've got this terrarium, I'm just going to be calm and I'm going to make this little terrarium and it's going to be really relaxing. And I was like, la la la... I was listening to the La La Land soundtrack. Hung up this terrarium, and fucking - [shattering noise]. And I was like, I bought that. Cost like thirty quid. Spent an hour making it. Really excited. Every time I was going to look over to it, I was going to think - I made that with my bare hands, isn't that nice? It's just very aesthetically pleasing. Phil walked in and just saw me stood in silence - like, it was really the last thing that I was clinging to in life, was this terrarium. And then it was just metaphorically in a million pieces in the floor. Then Phil walked in and I was just staring at it and we looked at each other and laughed for like, an hour. Again, much like the end of my top Dan memes of 2016 video, it was one of those laughs like - this is so funny and yet I am waiting for death, physically, the man or genderless entity that is the spectre of death, to come if he wants to come collect me I'm open to it. I'm sat here. I built a Batman lego watch. I am badly learning to play a song from a musical on piano. If death wants to come and say, you wanna go? Then we can just go. Hashtag just dan things." This says so much about the calming/grounding role Phil has potential to play for Dan, and how much he lives up to that potential. He understood where Dan's stress levels were at, suggested Dan take the day off (possibly altering a schedule they'd already discussed?) and then when the terrarium broke, diffused what could have been a very frustrating/upsetting moment for Dan by laughing about it with him.
1:04:20 - The gas is fixed. The person drilling might have stopped.
1:04:50 - Someone comments on Dan being more energetic in liveshows, he explains that it's because this is on youtube. He's used to liveshows being more chill, but since he's aware it's going on youtube he has youtube-appropriate energy. It's interesting that Dan seems to have a definite concept in his head of what his liveshow audience is, and a different idea of what an audience watching on youtube is. He feels relaxed by younow, but judged by youtube. "I'm sure over time I'll chill more."
1:06:10 - New years resolution is to fix his tumblr layout, branding overhaul - he specifies youtube banner and facebook picture as far as "branding" which reminds me of him clarifying to someone on twitter once that by branding he meant aesthetics not content.
1:06:28 - Doesn't want to change his facebook because it'll be something people will comment on. Someone else pointed out that facebook might stand out to him in this regard because you can't subtly change a facebook picture, and people can literally comment on it, unlike twitter.
1:06:49 - Starts fidgeting with his watch and stops looking directly at the camera in advance of what he says next. Considering he's five minutes over, I feel like he had the low level of anxiety that comes with knowing he had a point he wanted to make and having procrastinated it as long as he could.
1:06:51 - "2016 was a crazy year for me and Phil, and we want 2017 to be a lot more chill, a lot more youtube focused. So now that I've done my first youtube video, Phil's done his, we're gonna do some gaming videos on Dan and Phil games. And then we're gonna just... do some life things." Some very weighted 'we' in that statement right there. He pairs doing his first video with Phil's first video, eradicating any lingering doubts that they don't conceptualize and film as a unit even for individual channels, and then continues on with the plural reference to doing 'life things.'
1:07:31 - "'Get some storage,' said Stevie." He immediately smiles, the same beaming-smile he has had in the past when people ask about storage. I don't doubt he knows what the word is code for at this point, and he's certainly not discouraging the idea. "Yes, get some storage, that literally is on the agenda." Looks down and laughs, still fidgeting with the watch. "Find out if there's a better way to live and have loads of crap at the same time."
1:07:32 - Starts talking about earrings. Resumes addressing the camera directly, stops fidgeting with the watch. His entire posture and how he's sitting changes completely as soon as he's done with the 'we' statement and he calms noticeably.
1:09:48 - Can't muster it with building a new terrarium.
1:10:06 - Reiterates what the liveshows are supposed to be, and how they differ from videos. I still get the impression he is viewing this as an opportunity to talk to people who don't know him without making a thing of it.
1:10:30 - Calm Dan liveshow ending, reassures audience that it's okay to laugh at him, wishes people luck, tries to give generic good advice.