Dan & Phil Subtitles

A place to compile and archive information for reference/analysis.
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angrymob
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Since a few people mentioned wanting subtitles for non-native English speakers in the main thread, I thought it'd be cool to make a thread where people can ask for clarification on what they said or post any subtitles they find. I know I have some for a Dan & Phil video somewhere that I made for language exchange partner once (just need to find it in my mess of a hard drive).

In the mean time, here's Dan's first video with subtitles:

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oqua
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I LOVE transcribing things, so if anyone has a specific video / videos / section of a liveshow they want me to transcribe, I'd love to do it! It would be no trouble at all. I wouldn't be good at the technical side of actually converting them into subtitles, though.
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DryCereal
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This could be a good side project - I know Nerdfighteria transcribed (and translated, in some cases!) a metric boatload of vlogbrothers and related content a while ago. it would be nice to have the same for the Phandom.
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angrymob
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I did find the subtitles I made! It wasn't Dan & Phil, but Dan & Crabstickz. Why did I pick this for a beginner English speaker? Was I sadistic?



Subtitles here:
D: Hey guys! Are you ready for some ‘edu-tainment’ ? **(Note: education + entertainment. Yes, it’s stupid.)** Right, well as we know from the many videos across the internet and of course Charlie’s two videos, even though you are speaking English, depending on where you are speaking English, it’s as if you are speaking a completely different language.

D: And those of you who aren’t from the UK might not know that, in fact, not everybody in England sounds exactly the same.

D: See I’m from the south of England, so you could say that I talk like the Queen… or a ponce. But if you are from the north of England, now that’s a whole other thing.

D: So for this to be a totally real scientific experiment, I will of course need a specimen with a northern accent. **(Note: so recap, south = Paris, north = Chicoutimi, haha)** Now, before people in the comments go *weird noises* ‘your copying Charlie!’, here is an actually email from Charlie himself giving me permission to make this video. So, there. Hah!

D: So, welcome to the stage, our northern accent specimen, Chris!

D: So, Chris, you are an actual northern person… from the depths of Yorkshire.

C: I couldn’t get any more northern. I’m from a place called Harrogate, which is deep. I’m basically–

D: –deep Yorkshire. Do they have internet out there? What’s it like?

C: No, I don’t think so.

D: Right, so I have this list of northern slang words that Phil has researched. **(Note: Phil is his roommate.)** Thing is, I’m on the side of the Americans with this one, because I’ll probably have absolutely no idea what any of these things mean.

C: You’re gonna get some of these. These are easy, you have to get some of these.

D: Okay.

———

C: What is ‘Brew’?

D: A brew? I know that! It’s a drink.

C: But what kind? It’s a very specific type of drink.

D: Tea. Ding ding ding!

C: ‘Claggy’?

D: Um, what? claggy?

C: Claggy.

D: Sounds like some sort of venereal disease.

C: Oh, it’s a bit claggy out tonight.

D: Is it something about the sort of people that are outside? Those girls are a bit claggy. I don’t know what I mean by that.

C: The air is thick and moist. Next… ‘Keks’? Spelled k-e-k-s.

D: Isn’t that the term for messing your pants? I keked myself.

C: Your very close, but yeah–

D: Really? What does it mean?

C: Pants.

D: It means pants? That’s a very unattractive word. When your in bed with a lady, your gonna go ‘take my keks off’? Not very romantic, is it?

C: I don’t know, ‘cause I’m northern–

D: –Throw me your keks.

C: I’m northern. That’s already turning me on. I’m kind of aroused. Just all this talking about keks.

D: From all the keking that’s happening right now.

C: I keked myself!

C: Easy! ’Nowt’?

D: Nothing! I know that one. Ding ding ding.

C: ‘Popped his clogs’?

D: Um, lost virginity? Lose your virginity?

C: If your a robot.

D: Popped his clogs. What does it mean?

C: Ah, he dies.

D: Oh, so, that’s quite different to losing your virginity. Don’t combine the two.
‘So, my granddad popped his clogs last week.’
‘Oh god!’

C: ‘Scran’?

D: Scran?

C: Scran. S-C-R-N. No, S-C-R-A-N.

D: I’m gonna scran you. Does it mean to, like, to stab somebody or something?

C: It’s just food, it means food.

D: You call food ‘scran’?

C: I personally don’t because it sounds gross.

D: It sounds horrific!

C: ‘Mom, what’s for scran?’

D: Scran. It sounds like some orc word for food.
‘Get some scran in me!’

C: I think that’s what orcs were based on, the northern.

D: It’s like… food, food – SCRAN!

C: ‘Skriking’?

D: What? Skriking?

C: Skriking.

D: That sound even more horrific than the last one. Well, if that doesn’t mean to stab someone and peel off their skin, then I don’t–

C: –it’s even. It’s kind of the same as the last one. The same kind of, um, it doesn’t really suit what it’s saying.

D: Making a daisy chain? I’m skriking right now.

C: ‘I’m skriking my daisy chain.”

D: Don’t have a clue. What does it mean?

C: Crying.

D: Crying? Such an emotional word. I’m crying. I’M SKRIKING!

C: It makes it sound like he’s doing that.

D: This is making Yorkshire sound more and more like Mordor with every word.

C: Oh gosh. The next one. ‘Attercop’? A-Double T-E-R-C-O-P.

D: An attercop?

C: Are you sure this isn’t like a prank?

D: A sandwich.

C: For context, it’s like ‘ Oh my god! An attercop! In my bathtub!

D: Some kind of beast? Like a feral dog… what’s an attercop?

C: Why would there be a feral dog in a bathtub?
‘Granddad! Get in here. There’s an attercop in the bathtub!’

D: Okay, what is it?

C: Spider.

D: who the hell calls a spider an ‘attercop’?

C: Phil has put in brackets “apparently”.

C: Okay. ‘Wark’? We’re really touching orc territory now. W-A-R-K.

D: A friggin’ battle-axe.
‘I will take my wark!’

C: ‘Pass me my wark!’
‘I got a right wark on.’

D: Okay, so it’s not a battle-axe. If there’s any northern people watching this, please tell us in the comments if Phil is just lying about all these words.

C: There won’t be any northern people watching this–

D: –or if it’s just the horrific truth–

C: –they don’t have the internet.

C: I grew up on a farm. That’s how northern I am, and I don’t know any of these.

D: Really? So you’d know.

C: ’Neet Buzzer’? This just doesn’t make sense. So that’s N-E-E-T Buzzer.

D: A good haircut.

C: That would make sense, wouldn’t it.
‘That’s a right neet buzzer.’

D: That does make sense! But that’s not what it means, does it. What was it?

C: It’s ridiculous. A giant moth.

D: What?! Okay Phil, fuck off. Just out on the town, in Lancaster, and then a fricking giant moth just attacks.
‘It’s a neat buzzer.’

C: ‘Popped his clogs ‘cause he got smashed up by a need buzzer.’ It’s don’t make sense.

D: It’ll eat your babies.

C: The next one is ‘toffee’.

D: What?

C: What’s toffee, Dan? What’s a toffee?

D: But toffee is a thing. Toffee is toffee.

C: Apparently, toffee means any kind of sweet up there.

D: So they say ‘do you want a toffee?’ and it could mean any kind of sweet.

C: They’d be like ‘do you want a toffee, lad?’ and it’d be a bag of skittles.

D: But toffee is a thing! How could you– it’s like calling everything ‘banana’. It’s like handing someone a steak and being like ‘do you want a banana?’. No, it’s a steak. Whatever! Why don’t call everything hula hoops?

C: Hey, hey, you’re getting racist. The next one’s easy.

D: Okay.

C: “Beltin’”, as in B-E-L-T-I-N. Beltin’!

D: Uh, what a northern man does to his wife if the sandwiches aren’t good. I don’t know.
‘I’m gonna fucking belt ya!’

C: I think it means, like, ‘good’. So, ‘oh, that was beltin’!

C: How far north have you been?

D: Manchester city center, haven’t walked past the Nandos. Seriously, that’d the northern experience I have reached.

C: Well, a couple of meters down there is just a massive giant moth.

D: Yeah, just a frigging attercop.

C: Yeah, an attercop fighting.

D: And like Godzilla shit happening.

C: ‘Gozzed’?

D: Gozzed?

C: Yeah, I’ve heard this used around. Gozzed.

D: A verb? As in ‘I’m gonna gozz you.’

C: Oh, maybe don’t want to put that.

C: ‘Look at the horrible man. He just gozzed everywhere.’

D: Could you say ‘ I’m gonna gozz you…’?

C: Yeah.

D: ‘… tonight’?

C: Yeah, you could. That’s how a lot of northern people have intercourse.

C: Spit.

D: Spit? That’s horrible.

C: ‘He just gozzed on the floor.’

C: Okay, this one’s good. You’ll like this one.

D: Okay, I have to get some right. Zen mode. Zen mode.

C: This is easy. Cock.

D: What? Cock?

C: So, in context in the northern way, ‘cause I’ve heard it said, ‘Oh, me old cock.’ That sounds bad. ‘Me old cock.’ And then pointing over there, like I’ve got it somewhere in a jar.

D: Okay, so let’s just get this out of the way. It’s doesn’t mean ‘rooster’ or ‘penis’.

C: No. It’s kind of like ‘dear’ or ‘love’.

D: ‘Alright, love?’ Alright, me old cock? Really.

C: So basically, in the north–

D: –there’s just people, walking around calling can other ‘cocks’ all the time. If you said that to someone in Reeding, they’d just stab you in the face.
‘What the fuck you saying, mate?’

C: ‘TRON’? Never heard it used, and I’ve ridden a cow as a child. I grew up riding cows. That’s how northern I am.

C: It means ’to do odd jobs’.

D: Like DIY?

C: So, I don’t know if you’d say–

D: ‘I’m gonna do some TRON.’

C: Oh, this one’s good. ‘Cause I have one of these ‘cause I’m northern. It’s where I keep, like, all my cows. A ‘Ginnel’?

D: A Ginnel? Some kind of currency from 1302. I don’t know. Two ginnels. What was it?

C: A ginnel is like an alleyway.

D: So like ‘I got raped in a ginnel.’

C: I think that’s actually a northern t-shirt. I went to north Yorkshire and got raped in a ginnel.

D: Sorry!

C: I have a ginnel between like my house and the next house. There was one time I came home really late and ginnels are not, like, really lit, and I stopped and I hit something and I was like, ‘What the fuck was that?’ And it was a homeless person in my ginnel, and he got up and was like ‘*groaning noises*’ And I was terrified, this is in a completely blacken alleyway between two houses. Terrifying.

D: A real northern ginnel.

C: We’re friends now.

D: That’s how you met your fiancée.

D: Let me see, I got ‘brew’ and ‘nowt’. AN that was it. 2 out of 17.

C: Your not very northern.

D: That’s not good.

D: So, there we go. I think we all learned something today, and , yeah, I hope I didn’t offend anyone.

C: Um, you might’ve done.
I don't know if these (or future subtitles) could be added to the video, re-uploading the videos would be weird unless they were unlisted maybe.
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PolarFox
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I think it would be amazing idea to propose, because I'd love to show Deppy to so many people, but they wouldn't know the word they say. And I have no idea how to do subtitles whatsoever (the timestamps I mean). But I know that for example Paint encourages his fans to make subs. And if there were already the timers, I would be happy to just add Czech translations to them :) and it would be another excuse to watch their videos again. And it might even help me, I sometimes have no idea what they're talking about. (Mostly not because of slang, but because I'm still not that good with spoken english)
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mermaid blood
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this is a fantastic idea. i've often thought about it in relation to youtubers for the hearing impaired, and that campaign that was started a while ago now to encourage creators to subtitle their stuff.

when i have some more time in coming months i'd be willing to do some transcriptions; i tend to do it a bit for myself anyway when taking timecodes.

in the meantime i hope people utilise this thread to ask questions!
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daphenaxa
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I have a question, could someone tell me what Hazel said @ 2:51? (after Phil says he would eat sushi off someone and she speaks really fast).
If you’re attracted to somebody, you’ll want them to sniff you eventually - Dan
*Phil is turned on by Dan's brilliance* *they kiss* *they have sex in the microwave* - Oqua (actually Phil)
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DryCereal
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daphenaxa
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thank you
If you’re attracted to somebody, you’ll want them to sniff you eventually - Dan
*Phil is turned on by Dan's brilliance* *they kiss* *they have sex in the microwave* - Oqua (actually Phil)
nyehhehowell
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hey, so it looks like no one's posted here in a while but i have something thaf could potentially help a lot! back in august, i made phancc.tumblr.com to get closed captions on all dan and phil videos. it's since died off since all the admins are in high school or college and that's not great for big projects, but dan and phil don't have community captions turned on so we kinda got stuck there as well. i still have LOADS of english captions for almost half of all dan and phil videos- some scattered other language captions as well. i'm planning on posting them and making an archive somehow? if this could be of use to anyone in this thread or if you have any ideas let me know!
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