Dan vs. Phil - THE FINAL BATTLE (18 December 2018)

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I thought the video itself was fun, but, not gonna lie, it initially really bummed me out! Dan vs. Phil is one of those things that I thought would just be around forever, and I really was not mentally prepared for it to be over. I don't want to get my hopes up for a new season of Dan vs. Phil in the new year, but I'm sure that whatever's coming in 2019 will be grand. Anyway, here are my highlights:

• [1:24] Dan aggressively pushes Phil’s arms out of his face to make a pronouncement...that he can't quite remember.
• [1:37] Phil spoils Dan’s buildup to an announcement, and Dan pretends to swat Phil's head before pushing Phil away from him.
• [2:30] Phil starts laughing as Dan announces the final prize of Dan vs. Phil. Dan tells him not to laugh because it took him an hour to make the prize, and Phil reassures Dan that he’s impressed by Dan’s creation. Dan reveals that he has made a crown out of the present decoration that Phil crushed during Gamingmas last year, and he shows the present's bare metal skeleton. At [3:30], they say:

  D: Look at what--Look at what his ass did to this. Look at that!
  P: It’s a powerful muscle.
  D: You scare me.
  P: Gluteus maximus.

• [3:50] Phil pretends to cut off Dan’s head. Much to my surprise, Dan’s head actually comes flying off through the magic of video editing.
• [4:14] At first, I thought Phil's concerns were implausible, but then I remembered how clumsy Phil is...

  P: Not back to the beginning where it was the Olympics and everyone was naked, but--
  D: No, I--Bit--I’m not doing a naked javelin in the same room as you.
  P: No, that was dangerous! Why were they doing javelin with everything hanging out? That could--
  D: Shot put with your shot puts out.
  P: --go somewhere.

• [4:44] Phil's making it sound better to me, Daniel.

  P: The only rule was it had to be something involving our bodies, and not a computer game.
  D: You’re making this--You’re making this sound worse. They’re gonna get--

• [4:50] As Phil announces the game he's chosen, Dan gives an incredible eye roll.
• [5:01] This moment immediately gave me a mental image of Dan borrowing and wearing some of Phil's contact lenses just to be more competitive in this round. If the stakes were higher, I honestly wouldn't put it past him.

  D: You wear contact lenses! You have artificial eye moistening devices strapped to your fa--Okay, fine. No.
  P: Shoulda put some in.
  D: These were the--These were the rules.
  P: These were the rules.
  D: Shoulda put some in?
  P: Yeah.

• [5:39] Oh, Dan.

  P: I should try to make myself cry! Sad dogs. Titanic. Sad dog on Titanic.
  D: Thinking about myself.

• [6:09] Dan blinks, losing the round, and immediately lets out a blood-curdling scream followed by a series of slightly less severe yells about how bad he had just done.
• [6:23] For some reason, Dan fiddles around with Phil’s chair.
• [6:24] Dan says that he and Phil had a staring contest last week that Dan won by keeping his eyes open for a full minute.
• [6:42] I can't believe how protective and proud Dan is of his creation. Yes, I can.

  P: Just call me the king of moist balls in my head. That sounded weirder than I wanted to, but I’m very excited!
  D: You can--you can have this round. I don’t want this round any more.
  P: Can I touch the crown?
  D: Noo!
  P: I’m touching it. It’s closer to me now. We will be together soon, my prince.

• [6:58] Dan shoves Phil, and Phil shoves him back. Twice. Dan tells Phil to stop enjoying the rolling chairs so much.
• [7:21] Remember how hot and bothered Dan got by a set of nice arms in the Heartthrob video? Yeah, me too.

  P: I’ve got really weak arms! They’re like noodles!
  D: You literally don’t have weak arms. You have, like, quite big arms. You just are mentally weak and don’t know how to use your own muscles. That’s honestly what I’d say.
  P: We’ll see about that, Buster Howell.

• [8:13] Phil says that he does a lot with his left arm, and Dan is immediately disturbed. Dan says that he doesn’t want to touch “this.”
• [9:07] Dan wins the arm wrestle, and he yells again.
• [9:41] Phil winds up to slap Dan on the face, and he says that he wants to do it. Then they start playing this game. They slap each other’s hand several times, and Dan whiffs once.
• [10:02] I think these are the two objective criteria for having a good time in any situation.

  P: I’ve got very dry eyes and an aching left arm. What’s gonna be next?
  D: That’s how you know you’ve had a good time.

• [10:17] Dan and Phil explain why they chose to play Rock, Paper, Scissors in the final round. They say that, when you know someone really well, there’s a lot of strategy involved in playing a best-of series, and they do this all the time when they need to make a decision about who does something. Phil says that Dan likes to play mind games by hinting at one of the options (like paper) in what he says before they play, but Dan denies this. Dan says that Phil likes to flash an option (like scissors) with his hand right before they play. Dan and Phil agree that Dan wins most of these games...sometimes.
• [11:51] An interesting series of metaphors by Dan that give me a small sliver of hope for the future of Dan vs. Phil.

  P: This is it.
  D: This is--This is Dan vs. Phil.
  P: All of this gaming has come to this.
  D: The season, the chapter, this tournament is at an end. This is like the Olympics.
  P: We’re not naked, though.

• [12:02] Dan and Phil loosen up their hands and fingers. Dan ends up shaking his own left fist with his right hand, and Dan and Phil get weirded out by it. Then Dan puts his hand through the crown.
• [12:45] Dan loses the Rock, Paper, Scissors best-of series. Dan is quite distraught, and Phil is overjoyed. His celebrations include snipping at Dan’s hair with his winning finger scissors.
• [13:17] All Phil wants for winning is a little

  P: I’m gonna go here and then you’ve got to crown me and then bow--and then bow to me.
  D: No--Bah, buh--This is a very, very, ve--I do?
  P: You do. Bow to me, biatch!

• [13:34] Dan wheels Phil into the center of the frame and says in a Valleyspeak accent:

  D: And welcome to the Dan vs. Phil salon! How are you doing today?

• [13:41] Dan addresses Phil by his full name and proceeds to crown him. At [14:13], he finally bows to Phil.
• [14:16] Phil gives a speech thanking everyone who helped make his win possible. He thanks his mom, the tree that made the Dan vs. Phil board, everyone that’s watched Dan vs. Phil, and himself for being so great at games. At [14:23], Dan pops into the frame looking expectant, and Phil thanks him with a slap on the back at [14:28].
• [14:33] Phil says that the crown has stopped going to his head, and he gives Dan a “sportsman handshake.” To end the video on the right note, Dan squeezes Phil’s hand until Phil cries out.
• Individual merch links continue to remain consistent in pointing to http://danandphilshop.com.

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I didn't watch the gaming video last night, although I wish I had because it is so funny. They were so cute in it, but they also gave us a little insight into their lives, the whole rock, paper, scissor thing, even though they've told us about it many times before is just so cute. Their interactions when one of them is trying to wind the other one up is just so funny. Some of my favourite moments:
5:48: Dan's deadly serious face
6:11: Dan being so annoyed with himself for losing
6:25: Dan saying they had a staring contest last week - lads you need to get a real job if this is what you have time to do haha
8:14: Dans long stare into the void at Phils left arm comment
8:59: Phil being pleased with himself that Dan thinks hes really weak when he isn't
10:20 onwards: this whole section is my favourite bit because they totally have pure bants with this whole thing. When Phil is saying to Dan that they are doing a round of 5 and he needs to win 3, but is holding up 2 fingers to indicate the scissors is just so funny, I probably rewatched that about 10 times before moving on to the rest of the video.

This bit though is the ultimate part of the video: