I haven't made timestamps in forever so i'm a little rusty, but enjoy!
00:00 Lava lamp penis joke right off the bat. Zero fucks given.
00:03 37 degrees, jesus christ on a boat. How is he alive.
00:07 Phil is gas. Not gassy.
00:23 All of the interwebs!
00:39 First google search: "immortal jellyfish", august 7th. Apparently there is an immortal jellyfish?! Why are sea creatures so strange?
00:58 August 1 "fruit fly up nose". It's okay, we've all accidentally inhaled fruit flies (please tell me it's a common thing)
01:09 march 13 "modified furby" any thursday fans in the house? No?
01:19 february 23 "cloud buster sword" Perfect spon segway
01:36 Final fantasy spon! He looks so excited! How exited is
opheliola?!
02.55 march 15 "can my fish catch coronavirus" feat norman mask
03:04 may 20 "tornado", "tornado dream", "tornado dreams", "scary tornado dream" sounds horrifying. It means worry, anxiety, spinning out of control. Red tornado represents passion, so look out for horny tornados. Not sure it's the tornado's that are horny but okay.
03:28 august 4 "all mariokart music" he had a song stuck in his head so he sent PJ a voicemail
03:42 dan and phil sing a little song together and i just about melted. It's KK Slider.
04:08 july 30 "Kiwi liquorice review" (lickwish) who reviews liqourice? is that a thing? sounds delish either way.
04:26 january 27 "amazingphil feet rating" a "friend" told him about wikifeet. I do not believe he didn't know about wikifeet before. He scores 4.85/5, nice.
04:50 april 13 "upper right back organ pain" a very 30's google i gotta say. It turned out to be a pulled muscle.
05:03 october 12 "brown sweater" a guy looked cute in a brown sweater and phil wanted to look cute too but it didn't work
05:22 october 22 "who looks good in brown??" a lot of people do, Phil. Maybe you're just more of a spring than an autumn.
05:36 july 14 "How to catch a pigeon" pigeon video spon!
05:45 february 1 "why does a jockstrap have a bare but" and he just... leaves that without context. Okay then.
06:03 Youtube watch history. All of his own videos.
06:07 TomSka's new sketch Let me in, it's funny
06:09 A ton of fish videos for Norman. I love Phil. Oh, and a little Norman Cam!
06:22 Looney Tunes, Box Trap, Charlieissocoollike's show announcement and Heat death for ~Ambiance~
06:32 My google search history 2, BDG and a very sad elevator that sounds like that awful chicken toy
06:41 Netflix. First recommendation is Selling Sunset.
06:57 Continue watching: Floor is lava, Instant hotel, Ozark. Below is a recommendation for the category Chosen family, cute!
07.08 Devilman crybaby, Sex education and Jojo's Bizarre Adventure
07:13 Real Housewives of Beverly Hills. I can see them drinking white wine and getting very invested in the drama.
07:23 Instagram. You used to be able to see your likes but not any more it seems. Instead we get his explore page.
07.28 Dan explicitly licking a minion ice cream, Dan's latest selfie, some makeup. Phil being compared to drinks. Some hot guys, a game show.
07:40 Dog videos always leads to Markiplier for some reason.
07.50 Candles being crushed. Can the italians here confirm that this is how spaghetti is made?
08:02 Tiktok. You can see your likes on tiktok, but he shows his For you page.
08:06 A lady living her best life doing wine glass boob music
08:17 Marshmallow being squeezed though a garlic press
08:23 Seagull thief. He needs to be on tiktok more to get the good stuff (frogs. frog tiktok is the best tiktok.)