Dan & Phil Part 49: Don't curl, quiff

[saffarinda]

They have a curved wall wow that looks incredible. Seems to have tall ceilings again. Laid out all their candles and the lava lamp on that lil table, maybe as decoration? Dan's oil candle, Phil's lava lamp, not sure which one of them owns the other candles.

Floor is the same as their living room.

Any guesses as to which room it could be? My mind went to the side of a dining room or a hallway (but for some reason I think their new apartment probs has more open living idk bout y'all, it just feels like it).

edit: top of the page for the third time in this thread? i need to stop.

[autumnhearth]

Perfect timing! dizzy has spoken and now we have an image to analyze.

this is so lovely. look at phil! he is pretty! he looks tiny! (btw high ceilings, nice) he is wearing shorts! (#freetheknee) that facial expression! a good tweet, indeed.
now can someone analyse the oil candle and lava lamp and all the other candles and also the room structure and just all that domestic shit, tyvm

Well the lava lamp obviously represents Dan's pen.. I mean... nice tall curved wall, glass half wall beyond. Obviously upstairs. Could they maybe possibly have a spiral staircase? (Probably not as I'm not sure how you would get to it, judging by the light, there might be a wall of windows directly to the right.) Is that a bamboo plant? Joint candle collection?

There is the oil one that Phil gave Dan for Christmas (which is probably ceramic with a fancy glaze), looks like marble or some sort of stone to the left, then on the ends you have a very frosty almost chunky glass that reminds me of salt or ice and a hexagon made of metal.
Salt, stone, oil, metal.

[blackdenim]

I have a question for y'all, it's something I've been pondering in the months since I moved from not believing in Phan to being agnostic about it.

For those that believe they are together romantically, does the nature of their relationship ever seem little unhealthy to you? I was with my ex for 10 years and strongly believe that romantic partners should be best friends first - which obviously Dan and Phil are, which is great. And I know they're very private and we only see what they want us to see but based on what we do see they:

- Live together
- Work together either in their home or on tour - therefore spend almost all day every day together - on projects that require extremely close collaboration
- Go on holiday together, including some family holidays
- Over the last year or so the majority of family trips (to Phil's family at least) seems to be the two of them together
- Socialise mainly alone just the two of them in the house playing videogames, watching Netflix, etc (the 'we never go outside' branding)
- Spend time at parties/work social events solely with each other - avoiding colleagues/peers
- Don't seem to have any friends that are 'just' Dan's friend or 'just' Phil's friend (that they see regularly at least)
- Hang out mostly in couples, double dating
- Have few individual interests (they might start as individual but the other ends up being a part of it eventually)

I can see how some people might find this romantic especially (and sorry for generalising here) if you're slightly younger and have quite a rose-tinted view of relationships. But personally, as an almost-thirty-year-old (eek!) woman who recently came out of a long term relationship and has friends/family in long term relationships, getting married, etc. it seems a little... odd to me? If my relationship was like that I would feel suffocated. And if I had a friend who was in a relationship like that I would be worried that they were shutting themselves off from their friends/family and losing their individuality.

I'm not trying to cast doubt/make negative judgements on D&P's relationship I'm just curious what others think of this? My view of relationships is that you should be on the same team, rather than two halves of a whole, but I know that others probably feel differently, including potentially Dan and Phil. And again as I say, we don't see everything it's perfectly plausible that they each spend three evenings a week in separate pubs complaining to their separate friends that the other one left the toilet seat up or whatever.

I hope this makes sense I've had two cocktails this evening

[fondsmiles]

I'm not trying to cast doubt/make negative judgements on D&P's relationship I'm just curious what others think of this? My view of relationships is that you should be on the same team, rather than two halves of a whole, but I know that others probably feel differently, including potentially Dan and Phil. And again as I say, we don't see everything it's perfectly plausible that they each spend three evenings a week in separate pubs complaining to their separate friends that the other one left the toilet seat up or whatever.

this part is very important I think.
healthy or unhealthy are first and foremost not defined by outer characteristics, but by what the people in it feel. all that you pointed out might be unhealthy to some (while still, there's lots we don't see), but at the same time a different couple would be very happy and healthy in that relationship. I personally think it's fruitless to discuss things like this, since it's of such subjective nature and could only be judged by other people ever, if they knew very very personal details and informations from the people involved.
from what I can see, they seem happy in each other's presence, and that's as much as I will judge in that regard.

[onetruetrash]

Also Elijah Daniel replied!

[onetruetrash]

I have a question for y'all, it's something I've been pondering in the months since I moved from not believing in Phan to being agnostic about it.

For those that believe they are together romantically, does the nature of their relationship ever seem little unhealthy to you? I was with my ex for 10 years and strongly believe that romantic partners should be best friends first - which obviously Dan and Phil are, which is great. And I know they're very private and we only see what they want us to see but based on what we do see they:

- Live together
- Work together either in their home or on tour - therefore spend almost all day every day together - on projects that require extremely close collaboration
- Go on holiday together, including some family holidays
- Over the last year or so the majority of family trips (to Phil's family at least) seems to be the two of them together
- Socialise mainly alone just the two of them in the house playing videogames, watching Netflix, etc (the 'we never go outside' branding)
- Spend time at parties/work social events solely with each other - avoiding colleagues/peers
- Don't seem to have any friends that are 'just' Dan's friend or 'just' Phil's friend (that they see regularly at least)
- Hang out mostly in couples, double dating
- Have few individual interests (they might start as individual but the other ends up being a part of it eventually)

I can see how some people might find this romantic especially (and sorry for generalising here) if you're slightly younger and have quite a rose-tinted view of relationships. But personally, as an almost-thirty-year-old (eek!) woman who recently came out of a long term relationship and has friends/family in long term relationships, getting married, etc. it seems a little... odd to me? If my relationship was like that I would feel suffocated. And if I had a friend who was in a relationship like that I would be worried that they were shutting themselves off from their friends/family and losing their individuality.

I'm not trying to cast doubt/make negative judgements on D&P's relationship I'm just curious what others think of this? My view of relationships is that you should be on the same team, rather than two halves of a whole, but I know that others probably feel differently, including potentially Dan and Phil. And again as I say, we don't see everything it's perfectly plausible that they each spend three evenings a week in separate pubs complaining to their separate friends that the other one left the toilet seat up or whatever.

I hope this makes sense I've had two cocktails this evening

I get what you mean, but fondsmiles put it very well. What may be an unhealthy relationship for one couple may be a healthy relationship for another.

Back in the days when Dan and Phil weren't a double act, they didn't seem as happy as they do now. I was watching a TV show yesterday and one of the characters said that when you're in a healthy relationship, two people should become one and I think Dan and Phil are a good example of that.

[SquishPhan]

Nice pic. And nice to see a bit more of their new home. From what we've seen, it looks cool.

I have a question for y'all, it's something I've been pondering in the months since I moved from not believing in Phan to being agnostic about it.

For those that believe they are together romantically, does the nature of their relationship ever seem little unhealthy to you? I was with my ex for 10 years and strongly believe that romantic partners should be best friends first - which obviously Dan and Phil are, which is great. And I know they're very private and we only see what they want us to see but based on what we do see they:

- Live together
- Work together either in their home or on tour - therefore spend almost all day every day together - on projects that require extremely close collaboration
- Go on holiday together, including some family holidays
- Over the last year or so the majority of family trips (to Phil's family at least) seems to be the two of them together
- Socialise mainly alone just the two of them in the house playing videogames, watching Netflix, etc (the 'we never go outside' branding)
- Spend time at parties/work social events solely with each other - avoiding colleagues/peers
- Don't seem to have any friends that are 'just' Dan's friend or 'just' Phil's friend (that they see regularly at least)
- Hang out mostly in couples, double dating
- Have few individual interests (they might start as individual but the other ends up being a part of it eventually)

I can see how some people might find this romantic especially (and sorry for generalising here) if you're slightly younger and have quite a rose-tinted view of relationships. But personally, as an almost-thirty-year-old (eek!) woman who recently came out of a long term relationship and has friends/family in long term relationships, getting married, etc. it seems a little... odd to me? If my relationship was like that I would feel suffocated. And if I had a friend who was in a relationship like that I would be worried that they were shutting themselves off from their friends/family and losing their individuality.

I'm not trying to cast doubt/make negative judgements on D&P's relationship I'm just curious what others think of this? My view of relationships is that you should be on the same team, rather than two halves of a whole, but I know that others probably feel differently, including potentially Dan and Phil. And again as I say, we don't see everything it's perfectly plausible that they each spend three evenings a week in separate pubs complaining to their separate friends that the other one left the toilet seat up or whatever.

I hope this makes sense I've had two cocktails this evening

Their relationship is not something that would work for me, but I think it works for them and that is really all that matters.

[bluewho]

does the nature of their relationship ever seem little unhealthy to you?

In my opinion I'd have to say no, purely because I think it works for them. In the first instance, if it didn't work for them I think after this many years we would have seen a crash and burn by now. In the second, if it didn't work for them, they would have tried to make changes to adjust the situation. Basically I think their relationship must be healthy simply because it has functioned for so long, and seems to be functioning well.

Besides this, we don't know how much 'separate time' they do have. Certainly when they had their old apartment they could have holed up in their respective bedrooms virtually the whole time they were not working together. Now they could still be doing the same. We know they text each other from different rooms of the house for example, who knows whether this extends to emailing for work related matters etc. But either way, even if they do spend every second together it seems to work for them and they seem happy - that's what a healthy relationship is.

If he really doesn't like it why tell us as he knows it means usage will actually increase rather than decrease?

[cherrybomb3]

I have a question for y'all, it's something I've been pondering in the months since I moved from not believing in Phan to being agnostic about it.

For those that believe they are together romantically, does the nature of their relationship ever seem little unhealthy to you? I was with my ex for 10 years and strongly believe that romantic partners should be best friends first - which obviously Dan and Phil are, which is great. And I know they're very private and we only see what they want us to see but based on what we do see they:

- Live together
- Work together either in their home or on tour - therefore spend almost all day every day together - on projects that require extremely close collaboration
- Go on holiday together, including some family holidays
- Over the last year or so the majority of family trips (to Phil's family at least) seems to be the two of them together
- Socialise mainly alone just the two of them in the house playing videogames, watching Netflix, etc (the 'we never go outside' branding)
- Spend time at parties/work social events solely with each other - avoiding colleagues/peers
- Don't seem to have any friends that are 'just' Dan's friend or 'just' Phil's friend (that they see regularly at least)
- Hang out mostly in couples, double dating
- Have few individual interests (they might start as individual but the other ends up being a part of it eventually)

I can see how some people might find this romantic especially (and sorry for generalising here) if you're slightly younger and have quite a rose-tinted view of relationships. But personally, as an almost-thirty-year-old (eek!) woman who recently came out of a long term relationship and has friends/family in long term relationships, getting married, etc. it seems a little... odd to me? If my relationship was like that I would feel suffocated. And if I had a friend who was in a relationship like that I would be worried that they were shutting themselves off from their friends/family and losing their individuality.

I'm not trying to cast doubt/make negative judgements on D&P's relationship I'm just curious what others think of this? My view of relationships is that you should be on the same team, rather than two halves of a whole, but I know that others probably feel differently, including potentially Dan and Phil. And again as I say, we don't see everything it's perfectly plausible that they each spend three evenings a week in separate pubs complaining to their separate friends that the other one left the toilet seat up or whatever.

I hope this makes sense I've had two cocktails this evening

damn im jealous i could do with some cocktails right about now

i guess its not as dysfunctional as it could be if youre the type of strange introvert thats sort of introverted but then also really need companionship especially with someone that knows you very well which is the kink of emotional types. i suppose one persons suffocation is another persons envelopment in a rather comforting secure and necessary way. also personally having shared interests in a relationship (whatever it might be) is quite snazzy if another of your kinks is loudly screeching about the things youre interested in and listening to others do the same

[autumnhearth]

blackdenim You made perfect sense and that is a very valid takeaway based on what we know. However we don't really know how much they actually go out, what kind of networking they have to do for work (they seem to be a lot busier than their never go outside branding suggests) and I'm sure they socialize quite a bit at gatherings (we've seen it in vlogs). It's just that they seem to rely on each other to cope with their social anxiety and that's okay, that's wonderful that they can support each other. Are they probobaly codependent? I would say so. Is that necessarily a bad thing? I don't know. It seems to work for them. I think the one person thing is exaggerated, but they are quite a team.

My only issue, which I'm guessing is yours too, is when people romanticize/idealize that, as if that's the goal and any other relationship dynamic falls short. Bonding over shared interests and friends is wonderful. Finding a show or game you both love is often when I feel the most connected to my partner. But having separate interests and experiences is also healthy. My husband and I read different books as I'm sure D&P do. He does his own gaming online as it seems they do as well. I'm sure they have plenty of independent experiences that they then get to talk to each other about and strengthen their bond. Am I in awe of their relationship? Yes. Do I compare mine and long for what they have? No.

Also what fondsmiles said.

onetruetrash denying/downplaying the importance of someone in your life will make you pretty unhappy. Seeing those instances still hurts.

bluewho exactly. And it seems in the "duplex" they can work in different levels of the house if they need the space.

Oh damn cherrybomb3 is bringing kinks into the discussion.

[saffarinda]

I have a question for y'all, it's something I've been pondering in the months since I moved from not believing in Phan to being agnostic about it.

For those that believe they are together romantically, does the nature of their relationship ever seem little unhealthy to you? I was with my ex for 10 years and strongly believe that romantic partners should be best friends first - which obviously Dan and Phil are, which is great. And I know they're very private and we only see what they want us to see but based on what we do see they:

- Live together
- Work together either in their home or on tour - therefore spend almost all day every day together - on projects that require extremely close collaboration
- Go on holiday together, including some family holidays
- Over the last year or so the majority of family trips (to Phil's family at least) seems to be the two of them together
- Socialise mainly alone just the two of them in the house playing videogames, watching Netflix, etc (the 'we never go outside' branding)
- Spend time at parties/work social events solely with each other - avoiding colleagues/peers
- Don't seem to have any friends that are 'just' Dan's friend or 'just' Phil's friend (that they see regularly at least)
- Hang out mostly in couples, double dating
- Have few individual interests (they might start as individual but the other ends up being a part of it eventually)

I can see how some people might find this romantic especially (and sorry for generalising here) if you're slightly younger and have quite a rose-tinted view of relationships. But personally, as an almost-thirty-year-old (eek!) woman who recently came out of a long term relationship and has friends/family in long term relationships, getting married, etc. it seems a little... odd to me? If my relationship was like that I would feel suffocated. And if I had a friend who was in a relationship like that I would be worried that they were shutting themselves off from their friends/family and losing their individuality.

I'm not trying to cast doubt/make negative judgements on D&P's relationship I'm just curious what others think of this? My view of relationships is that you should be on the same team, rather than two halves of a whole, but I know that others probably feel differently, including potentially Dan and Phil. And again as I say, we don't see everything it's perfectly plausible that they each spend three evenings a week in separate pubs complaining to their separate friends that the other one left the toilet seat up or whatever.

I hope this makes sense I've had two cocktails this evening

It was honestly one of my biggest concerns, young couples who abandon their friends in favour of one another have always irritated me, and couples that seem to hang out with just one another instead of with other friends usually inevitably end up breaking up. But Dan and Phil seem quite happy with their relationship after so many years, and do have breaks apart when they visit relatives. Plus, I always think about the friends they have that they don't talk to us about. Dan mentioned before in a liveshow that if he's not meeting internet people he doesn't often need to tell the internet. Take that female friend who told Dan all the gossip on his old friends and then wanted Dan to tell her what was up. He probably would've never bothered telling us that without the anecdote to compliment it.

I do wonder about their work relationship though. I remember them mentioning in their HuffPost interview that they do have widely different ideas, and that they eventually end up compromising to get the best possible result. But I wonder how they deal with any stress of anything, how they seperate between business and personal lives - whether that be friendship or romantic relationship.

Plus, I know no one in my life that I'd want to spend that much time with for so many years, they seem to genuinely be happy with what they have (well, they haven't left yet have they?) so they must have a good system to have coexisted for so many years.

Also, nice spot autumnhearth with the salt, stone, oil, and metal! how aesthetically appealing

[alittledizzy]

I have nothing original to add to this - my response is just a combination of the ones above me. If you're an introvert who finds networking and socializing outside of the house exhausting at best, possibly debilitating in how draining it is, then it's incredibly healthy to have one person with whom you can be around and fill your human contact quota with while actually feeling recharged.

And they seem to have plenty of time to themselves; Dan can play GW2 for eight hours at a time, which is a form of socializing with people who aren't Phil, and Phil does go to see his family regularly alone.

[blackdenim]

Wow so many interesting perspectives already! Thanks everyone for the thought-provoking replies (also I am high-key flattered that cherrybomb3 replied i luv ur work).

I suppose I'm coming at it from the POV of a mainly extroverted, extremely independent person. I love to have friends around me to bounce off/get energy from, and grew up in a big family - neither of these things apply to Dan and Phil, which I didn't consider.

I think saffarinda and autumnhearth both made points which resonate with me, and which compelled me to make my original post: I also find IRL couples like that irritating, and I also worry about the idea of fans (particularly young ones) romanticising that kind of relationship above any other and thinking something is 'wrong' with them and their SO if they don't share the same type of dynamic.

[saffarinda]

Wow so many interesting perspectives already! Thanks everyone for the thought-provoking replies (also I am high-key flattered that cherrybomb3 replied i luv ur work).

I suppose I'm coming at it from the POV of a mainly extroverted, extremely independent person. I love to have friends around me to bounce off/get energy from, and grew up in a big family - neither of these things apply to Dan and Phil, which I didn't consider.

I think saffarinda and autumnhearth both made points which resonate with me, and which compelled me to make my original post: I also find IRL couples like that irritating, and I also worry about the idea of fans (particularly young ones) romanticising that kind of relationship above any other and thinking something is 'wrong' with them and their SO if they don't share the same type of dynamic.

yes!! totally agree with this, i don't want younger viewers to have their only example of a healthy relationship appear isolated and detatched from others (obviously it's not, but it can easily appear that way without applying critical thinking).

anyway i came here to say that deppy might be holding off on the apartment tour video so they can cash in when views are low - I mean Manchester has 3.3M views and old London has 5.4M views... maybe when desperate times call for desperate measures they can make a 30 minute long indepth video explaning every posession and rake in the adsense basically im implying we should boycott deppy - 'tis the only way!

[malday]

I have a question for y'all, it's something I've been pondering in the months since I moved from not believing in Phan to being agnostic about it.

For those that believe they are together romantically, does the nature of their relationship ever seem little unhealthy to you? I was with my ex for 10 years and strongly believe that romantic partners should be best friends first - which obviously Dan and Phil are, which is great. And I know they're very private and we only see what they want us to see but based on what we do see they:

- Live together
- Work together either in their home or on tour - therefore spend almost all day every day together - on projects that require extremely close collaboration
- Go on holiday together, including some family holidays
- Over the last year or so the majority of family trips (to Phil's family at least) seems to be the two of them together
- Socialise mainly alone just the two of them in the house playing videogames, watching Netflix, etc (the 'we never go outside' branding)
- Spend time at parties/work social events solely with each other - avoiding colleagues/peers
- Don't seem to have any friends that are 'just' Dan's friend or 'just' Phil's friend (that they see regularly at least)
- Hang out mostly in couples, double dating
- Have few individual interests (they might start as individual but the other ends up being a part of it eventually)

I can see how some people might find this romantic especially (and sorry for generalising here) if you're slightly younger and have quite a rose-tinted view of relationships. But personally, as an almost-thirty-year-old (eek!) woman who recently came out of a long term relationship and has friends/family in long term relationships, getting married, etc. it seems a little... odd to me? If my relationship was like that I would feel suffocated. And if I had a friend who was in a relationship like that I would be worried that they were shutting themselves off from their friends/family and losing their individuality.

I'm not trying to cast doubt/make negative judgements on D&P's relationship I'm just curious what others think of this? My view of relationships is that you should be on the same team, rather than two halves of a whole, but I know that others probably feel differently, including potentially Dan and Phil. And again as I say, we don't see everything it's perfectly plausible that they each spend three evenings a week in separate pubs complaining to their separate friends that the other one left the toilet seat up or whatever.

I hope this makes sense I've had two cocktails this evening

I think such a relationship becomes suffocating if the people in the relationship make it suffocating. If the partner's presence isn't emotionally draining you, they're not judging you and know you well enough to give you space when needed, i don't see why it would be unhealthy.

And like others have said, i don't believe they are as friendless as they make it seem.

[BuffyFiona]

autumnhearth You reminded me of the reason my mum went from "idk if they're dating" to "wow they're so married": when Dan was complaining in a liveshow about how some people won't let him rant about Formula 1 for 3 hours and so he needs to find friends who will (I can't remember what liveshow this was I've been trying to find it). I've never been in a really long term relationship, but for some reason my mum felt that was the most "old couple problems" thing, when you basically expect your SO to at least feign interest in your own passions, and then get annoyed when they aren't as invested as you want them to be. But then in one of Phil's liveshows he talked about how Lewis Hamilton (hot UK F1 driver) posted lots of pics of his cute dog on FB, which implies that Phil at least engages on a very base level with F1, even if not checking the subreddit all the time like Dan.

That made it seem like they do have interests which are more their own, but the other still is willing to get into it a little bit so they have someone to geek out to. My parents (really my only reference point) do this with loads of stuff, like my mum's crafting or my dad's videogames. The other doesn't care about "their thing" much in and of itself, but they'll still listen about it a bit, or get a little involved. I think Deppy definitely have a lot of different interests, some which we don't know about, but the other probably is a little involved just because they share a life (like Phil knowing Dan's music just because he hears it from sharing a house). Doesn't mean they don't engage in these things alone as well, or with other friends who are more interested (or online groups like with GW2 as dizzy mentioned). Personally, their relationship seems very normal in that regard compared to my reference of my nerdy, introverted parents.

This doesn't really add anything new to the convo, sorry, I just sorta word-vomited out my thoughts on the topic. But I definitely see where you're coming from blackdenim I have had moments of like "wow... they haven't been apart for more than a week in like, 7 years... how can that be healthy?" but then I think that they probably haven't spent it all completely attached at the hip, just nearby in case the other needs them.

[bluewho]

I also think that the whole 'one person' thing is largely exaggerated. (Which is fine because it's funny). But equally I think Dan and Phil are very different people with different interests. Of course they have a lot in common but they are not 'one person - two halves of a whole' but more like an epic 'team' of power couple proportions.

blackdenim, if I'd had two cocktails I wouldn't be making nearly as much sense as you so props

[DatCog]

Re. blackdenim's post: as someone who's in a very long term relationship, I can see many similarities with 's situation. My husband and I were best mates before we got together, are both introverts, both have some level of social anxiety, mostly like doing the same stuff and still prefer each others' company over that of other people's most of the time! We don't have many RL friends and those we do have are joint friends which we see fairly infrequently. If we didn't have our own jobs to go to during the day, I wouldn't foresee any problems spending those hours with each other on top of the hours we have outside of work. It just feels comfortable..maybe we are too co-dependent but time is testament to it being the right thing for us!

Love the new Phil pic...I think it's probably a hallway with a curved stairwell leading up to the lounge! Every photo I see of their place makes me more jealous...I love the white/grey theme with the pale wooden floors so much

[snokoplasmic]

off topic, but pleeeaase tell me we're getting a phil liveshow today

[sparkle]

off topic, but pleeeaase tell me we're getting a phil liveshow today

I don't think so, I bet we'll be getting a gaming video

[DatCog]

off topic, but pleeeaase tell me we're getting a phil liveshow today

Don't see why not! It's usually at 8pm I think

[snokoplasmic]

off topic, but pleeeaase tell me we're getting a phil liveshow today

Don't see why not! It's usually at 8pm I think

just checked phil's twitter, and you're right! he replied to someone saying that there'll one in about an hour

[Birdie]

I'm also agnostic but on condition that they're together, I don't think their relationship is unhealthy. I know they, especially Dan, likes to make it seem like they have no other friends but that's not true. I think the reason they don't see their "Dan" friends and "Phil" friends as much is just because they moved to London and their friends are back home or somewhere else entirely. We don't know if they regularly call or skype them for instance. Maybe they talk to them all the time, we wouldn't know that. They're also not closed off from their families, especially not Phil. I actually think the "we do everything together" thing is exaggerated for the brand and they have way more alone time than they let on.

I don't think they're codependent at all. They're very very close but they do have other friends, they do stuff seperately and they do have some interests they don't share. They have a very strong bond but I don't think being close necessarily means you're codependent. They don't seem obsessed with each other or to shut themselves off from everything else completely. I know it's not always possible to compare relationships but I once knew a codependent couple and it was horrible. The girl kept whining whenever her boyfriend went out with his other friends because she thought it meant he didn't love her enough, she was cranky when he wasn't there and always worried he was betraying her behind her back, basically she thought she only needed him and no one else and couldn't exist without him. He was a bit better in the beginning but he soon started to act like that too.

They were completely obsessed with each other and acted like every minute spent apart was wasted time. I gotta say, I have no idea if this is normal behaviour for codependent/obsessive couples or if they were really extreme but my main point is, they weren't happy. Their relationship was (and probably still is, I wouldn't know) extremely unhealthy. They needed each other but made each other unhappy with their obsessive behaviour and that's not at all what Deppy are like. They seem genuinely happy. We don't see everything they do but judged on what they do show us, I'd say their relationship is actually really good. They're close but not obsessive and they seem really happy. Actually, even if they're just friends, that's still true. They have an amazing relationship, no matter what they actually are to each other.

(It just took me ages to type this up and now everything's already been said, oh man. I love all your posts, there are so many interesting opinions and arguments on here. )

(I'm not saying I think they're not together or anything, I just want to put this out there because the idea that them being queer must mean they're also a couple is a bit farfetched.)

This is where context comes into play - what you just described right there, them being queer therefore they must also be a couple, is farfetched.

But that's not really what's happening with phan. And two queer men with a decidedly romantic twist to their early interactions, a leaked love letter video, and eight years of togetherness with all signs pointing toward long term commitment (forever house and Phil wants a corgi) along with a very pointed lack of denying it within the past couple years that they've also been opening up more about sexuality makes it not farfetched.

They denied the relationship alongside the denials of being gay before; those two things went hand in hand on the timeline. The current counterpart involves yes sexuality references, no comment on relationship references. A lack of denial is not confirmation - but it's also not a denial, and that's why it's not farfetched to consider that they're a couple.

You're actually absolutely right, of course it's not farfetched to strongly consider it given the context. But I think what made me side-eye those posts was that they were phrased like coming out as queer would automatically out their relationship as well and I don't think it's that easy. But it's not that important, the discussion has moved on. I still wanted to reply to you because your post is really good, thanks for explaining.

[BuffyFiona]

I know they, especially Dan, likes to make it seem like they have no other friends but that's not true. I think the reason they don't see their "Dan" friends and "Phil" friends as much is just because they moved to London and their friends are back home or somewhere else entirely. We don't know if they regularly call or skype them for instance. Maybe they talk to them all the time, we wouldn't know that. They're also not closed off from their families, especially not Phil. I actually think the "we do everything together" thing is exaggerated for the brand and they have way more alone time than they let on.

I think this is really important to remember when speculating about this kind of stuff. Obviously we know that Dan & Phil are quite private, and that when they share things with us, it is very controlled and selective. We can make our best assumptions off of what we do know, but honestly they could have an entire other life than the one their brand portrays, and we might not ever find out about it, especially what they do within their own home. Obviously some things are more likely than others, but we have no idea what friends or family they are in touch with, how regularly, how close their relationships are, how much of their lives they share with others, etc.

Like you say, the "joined at the hip antisocial shut-ins" routine is probably exaggerated at least a bit, and we can't really know to what extent. Maybe Dan has a standing weekly Overwatch session with some of his Reading buddies. Maybe Phil goes over to a childhood bff's London apartment by himself all the time. We only know about their Bryony/Wirrow hangouts because they have social media presences (and Bryony loves snapchatting everything ) and are already publicly connected to them. Obviously it's still fun to speculate, but I think it's also relevant to remember that there is a lot we don't know, and their public images are just that: images.

[pastelspectre]

i don't have much else to add except that i agree with most of the posts here about deppy's relationship i don't think it's unhealthy. to be honest it sort of reminds me of me and my best friend (which is another situation in itself sort of but that's for a different time), who when we're together irl (bc i moved away from her a year ago bc i had to, a whole bunch of states away), we spend almost all of our time together. but that's not a bad thing. i can be around her and not feel socially exhausted. i can recharge around her if needed. sometimes we can just sit in silence scrolling through our phones, but it's a good, comfortable silence. i've known her for 5 almost 6 years, and sure me and her have spent almost all of our time together but i wouldn't have it any other way. it's a good thing, what me and her have going on here. it's comfortable, for me and her. maybe it may seem unhealthy to others, like deppy's may to some people, but we don't see everything about deppy's lives. we have to remember that.

yeah. sorry this was just a big giant glob of gross talk of comparison of me and my best friend's relationship and deppy's