Dan & Phil Part 93: Fomosexual

Our two favourite full time internet nerds who never go outside!
User avatar
rizzo
unduly facetious
unduly facetious
Posts: 1792
Joined: Tue Mar 29, 2016 3:18 am

I already "knew" at this point, but even still, those aquarium photos from Singapore? Phil posting just a solo photo of Dan? That energy? Those "look at my beautiful boyfriend" vibes? Could. Not. Shake. Them.
2017 overall was a good year for feeling like they wanted to let us in a bit more. The Post-Baking-Universe was such a real thing. The whole trip when they went on those family walks on IoM and let us in on them:
I think I honestly got a little emotional.

My fall into phan was long before this during a deep dive into someone's v-day video analysis. But that video alone did it for me immediately. What I really loved more was watching them slowly open up to us in these ways. It still hurts to think about. And I haven't even mentioned all the gaming video moments. The hand over Phil's heart? That "I'm celibate" moment? Literally every single Sims video and relating it to their life?

Those two are in love, y'all. No doubt about it.
Last edited by lefthandedism on Fri Feb 14, 2020 12:05 am, edited 1 time in total.
Reason: fixed insta embed
User avatar
plinthofmylife
janice from the shop
Posts: 529
Joined: Wed Nov 28, 2018 10:41 pm
Pronouns: she/her
Location: USA

Someone please explain dan's tweet to the dumb American.
Image
User avatar
noodlebum
flower crown
Posts: 711
Joined: Wed Feb 21, 2018 5:00 pm
Location: UK

Explain to this bewildered Brit too please
User avatar
dontpanic
#relatable
Posts: 364
Joined: Fri Dec 23, 2016 5:25 am
Location: I've never seen the snow

plinthofmylife wrote: Thu Feb 13, 2020 10:26 pm Someone please explain dan's tweet to the dumb American.
it's a twist on periodt, slang that started on black twitter
User avatar
madzilla84
eclipse shirt
Posts: 379
Joined: Thu Feb 07, 2019 8:27 pm
Pronouns: she/her

plinthofmylife wrote: Thu Feb 13, 2020 10:26 pm Someone please explain dan's tweet to the dumb American.
:lol: :lol: :lol:
blackbirddan.tumblr.com
User avatar
Phanshy
cheeky #spon
Posts: 223
Joined: Sun Jul 07, 2019 8:01 pm

I guess my experience of finding Dan and Phil was a bit weird, I never watched "Youtubers" I literally just watched music videos and shipping compilations on YouTube at the time and they were in one. I actually thought they were a fictional TV couple, after finding out they were real people and watching a lot of Phan videos before ever watching a video on either of their channels I just presumed they were a couple, it wasn't till I saw a clip from a live show of Dan denying it that it even crossed my mind they weren't a couple.

I then got involved in the Tumblr Phandom because I was looking for Phan proof which I'm really embarrassed about now to be honest. I think reading a transcript of the V day video a long time before I actually saw it basically confirmed it in my mind that they were a couple and obviously actually seeing it even more so because as much as I love Phil he's not that good of an actor. I never bought in to the theory they broke up in 2012 or any other time and never really doubted they were a couple until a bit of a wobble after BIG, which is a completely ridiculous time for me to do it but the deliberate way he didn't say boyfriend made me doubt things, after reading a lot of comments talking about them being platonic soul mates or being in a open relationship which I probably wouldn't have even paid attention to if Dan hadn't made the comment about cute mutuals sliding in to his dms, I guess because on a personal level I wouldn't appreciate my partner saying that even in a jokey way, which probably says a lot more about me than anything else.
Megancita75
ar·tic·u·late
Posts: 403
Joined: Thu Jul 11, 2019 6:43 pm
Pronouns: she/her
Location: USA

That’s a very funny tweet but I have to weigh in on my utter annoyance that half the thread on Twitter is just “ha ha make content dummy.” I am eternally surprised Dan stays on Twitter.
User avatar
lefthandedism
simply stressed bisexual
simply stressed bisexual
Posts: 1672
Joined: Tue Nov 15, 2016 10:16 pm
Pronouns: she/her
Location: New England

This is a great season to contemplate Dan and Phil's relationship. :love2: It's also a great season to comtemplate new thread names and post your thoughts here! <3
"If you're left-handed, ask a friend."
"Why am I left-handed?"
"Everybody makes mistakes."
User avatar
Catallena
classy cat lady
classy cat lady
Posts: 3192
Joined: Wed Mar 30, 2016 6:56 pm
Location: The Netherlands

Phantasy wrote: Thu Feb 13, 2020 9:21 pm So this talk of same-sex couples (and the proximity to Valentine’s Day) got me thinking... without diving too deep into the problematic “we been knew” type of sentiment, I’m curious when or what moment in D&P’s history did you say to yourself “okay, yep... they’re a couple—no doubt in my mind”.

Beyond all the mis-direction, denials, separate bedrooms and Customer Service answers—what moment or “evidence” washed away reasonable doubt: was it the vday video, formspring answers, lubegate, a 3am deep dive into the drug deal archive or Phan Directory, or maybe just a quiet moment or interaction in a video that solidified it for you? (Or maybe not until BIG and the actual confirmation?!)
I’ll tell you for me, aside from the vday vid and obvious flirty interactions early on, there’s a couple of moments that are so overwhelming domestic and couple-y that I couldn’t just shrug off as platonic broship...

Everything captured in Phil vs The Praying Mantis—the romantic destination with another couple being obvious, but the dynamic of shrieking Dan and “macho” Phil and the cute “I’ll disown you” comment is everything to me...

After the mis-lead of Busgate, this wholesome moment was dripping with fondness and couple energy... Dan playing with sick Phil’s hair while he naps next to him on the bus’ bed... such an overwhelmingly cute moment...

And the whole Confession Roulette thing just seemed like a peek into what a couples counseling session might look like for them...


Of course there’s probably a thousand other interactions that paint a similar picture, but these moments always stood out to me.
For the first few months of my phandom experience I really just thought Phan was a ship like Cherimon (barf). Just two guys living together and making videos together, sometimes teasing a ship to get the people going. I changed my mind when more people started sharing those old tweets, dailybooths, and formsprings. That said, it didn't convince me that they were still together because 2012 were dark times. For a while I subscribed to the theory that they had broken up and just stayed friends. I changed my mind about that again when I felt like that didn't match their dynamic at all.

There were lots of moments along the way that convinced me that they were thing, but the one thing that really got me was then they moved into the second London flat. There was no real reason for them to continue living together if they weren't romantically involved. Why live with someone at their age, even your best friend and business partner, if you were rich and could easily afford a nice place on your own? Not gonna lie, during all the speculation about them moving I was somewhat nervous about being wrong. They posted We're Moving Out and before I had clicked the video a tiny voice in my head said that that meant they were moving apart. But when it became clear that moving out for them meant moving on to a new place together, nothing could bring me down. They had to be together. The universe had fucked up big time if they weren't.
Image
Twitter *•.(★).•* Tumblr
User avatar
dellamay
smol bean
Posts: 8
Joined: Thu Apr 04, 2019 6:04 pm

I came into the phandom in 2018, after my daughter got obsessed with DNP during a interactive Introverts. Honestly the main thing that drew me in was the dynamic between them. I got such a strong “power couple” vibe, and was amazed to see the empire they had built. The proof of their relationship was all in the eyes. I remember reading about a study that could predict the success of a romantic pair based on the way they smile at each other. There’s a level of loving smile you can’t fake. It’s science. ;)
User avatar
sonicgreen
woodland creature
Posts: 597
Joined: Thu Sep 28, 2017 2:56 pm

I came into the phandom late 2013, where #PHAN was a big deal. From all their videos and my young gay self I definitely picked up "non-straight" vibes pretty quickly. Though I'm sure all the shipping on Tumblr solidified it for me before I could even question if they weren't a couple, even when this was a time when DNP on camera were pushing the "Best Friend" & "Comedy Duo" narrative really hard (not that they aren't both of those things, you know what I mean).
Image
User avatar
obsessivelymoody
emo goose
Posts: 1134
Joined: Wed Oct 25, 2017 12:56 am
Pronouns: she/her
Location: canada

Something I'll never forget about my entering into deps is that my friend tried to get me into them for MONTHS, and I was into troyler at the time so I didn't really want to drop them for some dudes I didn't know anything about lol. But as she would reblog gifsets and stuff I assumed they were together (notable one was when Phil did pushups on the sofa in the gaming room and Dan watched him - I just assumed from those looks they were together). I remember asking her if they were together because she was showing me her new phone background (lmao) and she said it's not confirmed, but everyone wants them to be, ha!

Anyway I thought I was straight back then, was 15 and generally knew a lot less about relationships, and was looking through fanon goggles most of the time. So it could have been all of that but I also think there's things to be said about teenage girls perceptions as fandom members, their glass closet, and the fact that I joined in the end of 2014 where everything was "looking up" (for lack of a better phrase) in that department.
User avatar
kavat
pastel persona
Posts: 1365
Joined: Tue Nov 14, 2017 7:36 pm
Pronouns: she/her
Location: scandinavia

For me it was all of fall/winter 2016. Monster pops, Boncas, pinof and gamingmas just all made me go "yeah no way they aren't together". Before that I thought there was a chance of them being single dudes living together (like Joe and Caspar) but by January 2017 I was very convinced.
User avatar
noodlebum
flower crown
Posts: 711
Joined: Wed Feb 21, 2018 5:00 pm
Location: UK

obsessivelymoody wrote: Fri Feb 14, 2020 3:59 am (notable one was when Phil did pushups on the sofa in the gaming room and Dan watched him - I just assumed from those looks they were together).
Ok I'm gonna need to see this
User avatar
liola
rankussy
Posts: 1679
Joined: Fri Jul 14, 2017 3:09 pm
Pronouns: she/her
Location: Italy

I always knew they were shipped together and there was a conspiracy of "proofs" but I assumed at the time it was something like Larry. Then on like summer 2013 when Zoe and Alfie resulted actually together I was like "hm. so maybe not all shippers are delusional?" and it was in the back of my mind for a while until one day I just plunged into the entire 2009/2010 timeline and it was pretty fucking obvious that it was two people falling in love and starting a relationship, then i found the vday video and that was just the nail in the coffin. There was no doubt in my mind. Things like moving to the second apartment and especially the BONCAs cemented to me that all the speculation about a possible break up in 2012 had no foundation, because it was the epitome of a stable, long term couple committed to each other.

On the same note, I don't know why I was always "convinced" Phil was gay instead of bisexual. Don't ask me why, I just never thought he actually was into women ( of course I would never say "LOL no he's gay gay" before his coming out). Maybe just the sad feeling the universe would never give me a chance with him idk :cry: :cry: :cry:
Will probably never be over the BONCAS and the beauty of Phil Lester.

Official Moving Hill Mayor
User avatar
bluecaterpillar
pumpkin spice pumpkin cookie
Posts: 134
Joined: Sat Jun 04, 2016 8:37 am
Location: post-coming out universe

i started watching them in late 2013 as a very young teenager, at a point in my life where i was barely even aware of gay people existing never mind that i was gay myself, so it didn't occur to me to question the platonic bros narrative. i didn't think of them as any particular sexuality, because it just didn't seem relevant to me at the time. the extent of my interaction with phan as a ship was probably seeing 'omg they looked at each other they're so married' in the comments section, until i found the instagram phandom over a year later. i only realised that there was more to their history when i saw a tumblr post telling everybody off for reposting and watching 'the v day video'. of course i googled what it was, found the old forum and fell down the rabbit hole at the end of 2015.

seeing all the 09/10 stuff compiled really made me reconsider. 'uma thurman just watched me have sex' stands out as the first thing i really could not explain away. by this point i was very very into lgbt instagram pages and had gained a much better understanding of homophobia and the realities of being gay, so it made sense to me why they would backtrack on all the early things they said as their audience grew. basically, once i knew the early timeline, everything fitted with them being together continually since the beginning. everything they did after that, like the boncas and moving apartments, was just extra confirmation for me.

funnily enough, even before i saw any evidence for them being queer and together, i literally could not imagine either of them ever moving out/getting a girlfriend. i guess there was always some part of me that thought they already had everything they needed in each other.
noodlebum wrote: Fri Feb 14, 2020 7:22 am
obsessivelymoody wrote: Fri Feb 14, 2020 3:59 am (notable one was when Phil did pushups on the sofa in the gaming room and Dan watched him - I just assumed from those looks they were together).
Ok I'm gonna need to see this
that's in dil gets physical!
there’s not a star in heaven that we can’t reach
Secretstanner
truth bomb
Posts: 348
Joined: Tue Oct 31, 2017 1:42 am

One day In 2017 I was going out I remember the day haha I was showing my sister pinof from the beginning because I thought they were cute. My sister says to me “dan said something about his sexuality in a video” my sister knows me so well to tell me this information because I was like okay okay. Watched the video and was blown away and decided I’ve missed a lot and need to watch videos.

Fast forward, them moving made me 95% they were together. The liveshow I was like he is so happy, seems so in love and content. “Phils obsessed with a corgi” I love that moment so much. I still wasn’t 100% yet though. I have no idea because I knew but I didn’t want to let myself know. The thing that confirmed it for me was the “bow tie liveshow” I’ve never been one for kissing conspiracies theories but it was so obvious the moment they said it, I was like no no sorry that’s the stupidest story ever and they didn’t even care it didn’t make sense. That did it for me. I didn’t need them to ever come out or tell us to prove it too me, that was enough. Though I do appreciate their coming out videos that just helped everyone else get on the same level.
bevioletsky
glabella
Posts: 78
Joined: Mon Oct 01, 2018 1:13 pm

I guess I’ll bite too: I’ve been convinced that they were together since pretty much when I started watching them, but that was only about three years ago in 2017, after the first gamingmas/in the post-baking universe/etc., and I feel like at that point they were already fairly comfortable and relaxed with how they presented themselves on the internet. I think what made me initially (and, like, immediately) think about their relationship was just their dynamic in videos and the casual way they talked about each other in liveshows, and the whole thing about having lived together for years but apparently never having been in any other relationships and just how together they always seemed – it just made sense that, well, they were actually together. Lots of sweet moments happened around that time as well, like the moving and the Florida & Singapore holidays etc.

I’m trying to think about how the idea of “shipping” and all that played into my conception of them, and while it’s hard to say because it’s so prevalent it definitely could’ve planted more ideas in my head, I think in a way if anything it made me briefly reconsider or feel conflicted about my initial perception of them, mostly because the reputation of their audience almost precedes them sometimes, and this comes from someone who had no idea about dnp or their audience before I clicked on that first gaming video I watched. I’ve never been hugely into personality-based youtube, and so I never watched, say, any of the youtubers who dnp used to collab with in about 2013-15 especially. I also never got that into using Tumblr, where I think their audience at a certain point was most disproportionately large and visible, and I imagine pretty much impossible to completely avoid. So, regardless of me going in clueless the idea of the crazy/delusional/insert-other-derogatory-adjective fangirl and the attitude of ‘they’re nice, but their audience’ also became clear very quickly. That combined with the fact that some people are very... intense and that not nearly all of their audience interactions over the years have been exactly good or respectful definitely scared me a bit and made me wonder if I was just buying into something weird. But I think I got over all of that by trusting my own conclusions and remembering that audiences and fandoms aren’t usually fully represented by their loudest and most obnoxious parts (where finding places like this helped too!). Anyway, what solidified their relationship for me was when curiosity got the better of me and I did some googling, and I found the 2009-10 tweets and the other online interactions from then – there was no explaining away any of that imo. I think this all happened within a very short period of time for me, because I was in need of some serious escapism then and dnp content was a very easy and plentiful (albeit for me surprising) rabbit hole to fall down, and now here we are.
User avatar
alittledizzy
actual demon phannie
actual demon phannie
Posts: 7100
Joined: Sat Mar 26, 2016 3:09 pm
Pronouns: she/her

I had a different perspective because I firmly accepted them as a couple before I ever watched a single joint video. I've been through my origin story so many times I'll tl;dr it and say I had a dream about them and it led to me to google them, I read the entire phan timeline and then found gurugossiper and read back through years of threads, then I dove into the videos. There's never a moment of seeing them onscreen together that I didn't just accept that they were a closeted couple. There was documentation of their whole relationship right from the very start, plus an actual love letter in video form. It baffled and frustrated me that the fandom was so full of people that refused to accept it - which was a shitty way for me to feel and I quickly learned to abandon that and just accept that people were seeing and interpreting things in different ways than me or they had their own personal hang ups about it that I just couldn't grasp.

Since my answer to that is very underwhelming, I'll go ahead and be extra demon in another way. I wonder how they're celebrating their first Valentine's day as an out couple?
Megancita75
ar·tic·u·late
Posts: 403
Joined: Thu Jul 11, 2019 6:43 pm
Pronouns: she/her
Location: USA

I'll also go full demon for a moment and say that Perfume Genius posted a very nice photo of him and his partner of 11 years on Instagram (I think today might be their actual anniversary though) and I know Dan follows him and I hope he saw it. It's a lovely photo and I do wish for themselves they could do something like that, though I understand why they don't and probably never will.

I hope today brings them some sweets and smooches.

In an unrelated note, it looks like Cyarine (who did the art for the Glitch hoodie) will release some merch on IRL today and I'm excited to see what it is.
Megancita75
ar·tic·u·late
Posts: 403
Joined: Thu Jul 11, 2019 6:43 pm
Pronouns: she/her
Location: USA

Oh, and maybe they are also spending today celebrating Cornelia's birthday!
Phantasy
woodland creature
Posts: 553
Joined: Sun Apr 03, 2016 7:33 am

Megancita75 wrote: Fri Feb 14, 2020 5:21 pm I'll also go full demon for a moment and say that Perfume Genius posted a very nice photo of him and his partner of 11 years on Instagram (I think today might be their actual anniversary though) and I know Dan follows him and I hope he saw it. It's a lovely photo and I do wish for themselves they could do something like that, though I understand why they don't and probably never will.

I hope today brings them some sweets and smooches.

In an unrelated note, it looks like Cyarine (who did the art for the Glitch hoodie) will release some merch on IRL today and I'm excited to see what it is.
That is a nice (and inspirational) picture... 11 years seems like forever for any millennial era couple, let alone a same-sex couple.

I do still hold out hope (the clown in me) that they will find a nice middle ground and be a bit more expressive about their relationship someday. You don’t have to go full Kardashian and sacrifice your privacy/dignity or seem to be commercializing your relationship if you just want to display/celebrate your partner and the love you share. (At least we have Cornelia!)
User avatar
madzilla84
eclipse shirt
Posts: 379
Joined: Thu Feb 07, 2019 8:27 pm
Pronouns: she/her

When I properly joined the phandom, it was just at the beginning of the hiatus* and there was a lot of worried posts that they were splitting up/moving apart (remember how every time Dan went quiet for more than a week or so everyone said he was moving out?), and I admit I often let it get to me more than I should have. And then I also had a wobble after BIG, as mentioned above, as a lot of of Dan's "jokes" landed differently for me than they did for a lot of people. So it took me a while, even after they came out, to really believe. And it wasn't just one particular thing or moment, but it was just them continuing to live their lives together despite their careers diverging, really. Just everything they've chosen to share - the holidays, the nights in, just their continuing presence in each others' daily lives. I always thought they were a thing back when they first met, having seen the phan timeline and their very old videos etc, but given what they'd said about it I wasn't, like, 100% positive. Seems almost stupid to say so now, but you know what Dan was like about it. I was in utter shock when he confirmed it in BIG.

But I still wasn't sure about nowadays, as when I joined it was still kind of frowned upon in some places online and "disrespectful" to say they were together. (Still is, in some corners of the internet.) And they, especially Dan, had always been so adamant they weren't an item. (Obviously we know why now, but back then it did confuse me, I admit.) I'd watch things like the final Dan vs Phil for example and think 'how can they *not* be together??', but then convinced myself I was projecting, or it was wishful thinking. Luckily I moved past that.

Oh, but there was one particular moment that really brought it home for me I guess, and that was Norman. :betta: The fact that Dan has also called him "my fish", that he's properly a joint pet and not just Phil's-fish-that-Dan-helped-out-with, said a lot to me. (I think that's why a lot of people want them to buy a house together or get a dog, aside from the fact it would hopefully make them happy.) So it did take me a little while to get to this point, but here we are. :wavingflag:


*I don't think realistically it actually *is* a hiatus any more, that would imply it'll end at some point, but that's what we thought it was at the time
blackbirddan.tumblr.com
User avatar
Birdie
blobfish
Posts: 650
Joined: Sat Nov 05, 2016 8:22 pm
Pronouns: they/them

Phantasy wrote:without diving too deep into the problematic “we been knew” type of sentiment, I’m curious when or what moment in D&P’s history did you say to yourself “okay, yep... they’re a couple—no doubt in my mind”.
Never, to be honest. I was always in the "I'll believe it when they say it" corner. I wanted it to be true though and I'm very happy for them that it actually is. I never doubted they were queer/gay though, I just decided to not have an opinion on their relationship basically until they were ready to give us an answer. Looking back, I don't think I minded the shipping or the talk about their relationship, I minded the connotations people brought to it. "Only couples do this, friends would never do that". I was so fed up with that stuff that I decided not to care so much anymore. (I cared though, of course I did, lol.)

I used to be "anti-phan" way back when but that was all to do with 2012 and their reactions to the shipping. :? I guess I felt like people were crossing lines and harrassing them, which would have been my worst nightmare back then as a closeted gay person, so I felt like I had to "protect" them or something? Wild times, let's not dwell on them. But I'll be honest, when I first watched some of their videos without knowing anything about them, I did think they were a couple as well. I changed my mind when I found out more about them and then 2012 happened and I guess I just believed them, Dan especially, when they denied it. Of course looking back at that time knowing what we know today, it makes sense what really happened back then.

I loved reading all your posts, they brought back some memories of classic D&P moments I had totally forgotten all about.
User avatar
glitterintheair
phillluminati
Posts: 816
Joined: Fri Mar 17, 2017 9:56 am
Pronouns: she/her
Location: Italy
Contact:

I started watching them with the full knowledge that they were a popular ship but I tried to keep an open mind just in case. However I immediately assumed Phil was gay - don’t know why - but I had my doubts about Dan and I think not knowing about his sexuality was probably the thing that made me doubt about their relationship at first. Then I found the phandirectory, all those 09/10 tweets, dailybooths, formsprings and the vday vid and everything became clear to me to the point that I couldn’t believe that people were still trying to be antis because it was just so obvious that those two were outed against their will and that they lied to protect themselves.
I'm a winter flower underground, always thirsty for summer rain.
Locked