- He joined the group chat and was told their ages.
- He still joked about sex in their presence.
- They expressed discomfort, which did not stop him.
- He knew they were minors, and yet, he still talked about angry sex with Dan, diaper play, etc.
- He's 33. They're 11-16. He could be their father.
- It's okay to want more friends in fandom. It's decidedly better to stick to your own age group, for a variety of reasons. For me, the age gap alone would be enough reason. I don't want to have friends who are 11 or 14, because I'm not 11 or 14
- If he did disclose his age prior to joining the group chat (he claims he did, I don't know), AND behaved appropriately, it would not have bothered anyone. And if it did still bother the minors, they would be allowed to not want a 33 year old in their space.
- Imagine a scenario where you, the adult, have a child, and a person twice their age joins them at a convention or something, only to talk to them about sex despite the child's discomfort. Would that be okay with you?
The argument that the person who tweeted was focused on his age is irrelevant. I'm very much an adult and not the least bit offended. To this person, this minor, it was relevant, because guess what, an adult was talking to them about sex without their consent. WHY are we blaming victims here? I thought this forum was a safe space, I really did.
Also. You are missing the point.
In my initial post about Stakhanov, I made it clear that his forum conduct (which had been roughly the same since I joined this forum 3 years ago) had always been wrong. Please read my quote and stop saying that he is only being blamed for off-site things when he's NOT.
Again. The issue with Stakhanov is more than just him being inappropriate with minors.Ablissa wrote: ↑Mon Apr 29, 2019 12:05 amFirst things first: I could go and pull up receipts - forum quotes - of him defending homophobia, racism, and a variety of other issues. This he will of course deny, because he likes to redirect, but if you're a long time poster here, you will know I am right. Just go through his post history if you're bored enough, I'm honestly not - but I will if it comes to it and people demand it.
The receipts are there and none of this is made up. This isn't me being biased. I feel like I can speak for ~95% of users of this forum when I say that Stakhanov has stated some very problematic things in the past, often hurting people who are affected by the issues of which he speaks so freely.
He has also, on numerous occasions, belittled other users for having different opinions. I called him out for 'mansplaining' and it really is something he is guilty of. He takes on a patronizing voice, all the while being falsely polite so as to avoid being banned. I know for a fact that some people have felt REALLY bad after receiving one of his responses. He says things that are triggering to people who have to deal with, for example, homophobia in their daily lives.
It's worth noting that he tends to continue arguing until the other poster gives up - here's an example off the top of my head: viewtopic.php?p=103851#p103851. This is the type of thing other users have to deal with whenever engaging in conversation with him.
His forum attitude alone is enough to make people upset.
Again, if this is insufficient proof that no one is being unjustly bullied here, I'm happy to go and really dig up the posts in question. However I hope that for most people, this will explain why some of us choose to reply to Stakhanov and don't let him off easy when he continues to behave in the same way he always had.
Lastly... I'm sure that Stakhanov can be a nice person and may very well be nice in real life. I don't intend this to be a personal attack. Please treat it as a response to the posts I quoted.
Which doesn't make me any less baffled as to how we can victim blame literal kids as opposed to the very much sound-of-mind adult. The adult is always the one held accountable. This isn't me, this is the law.