My statement - Karim/Edwin situation and leaving social media self.EmmaBlackery
Submitted 4 hours ago * by emmablackeryThe Official One - announcement
Hi guys,
Firstly I'd like to say a massive thank you to everyone that's been so kind about my sudden departure from social media - I've been shown tweets and posts and had a lot of texts that have reminded me of just how many people care about my wellbeing. It was made apparent to me when people began to contact my parents that I probably needed to give an explanation rather than just leave.
One morning about a week ago, I woke up to a couple of things happening that made me deactivate Twitter and Instagram for the first time in seven years:
A video about me involving a past situation was posted by an individual named Edwin, a close friend of the person I fell out with. This video painted me and my behaviour in a one-sided light and I will elaborate on my feelings about it in a moment;
An online forum began to take it upon themselves to deep dive into my friend's life, including his wife's social media, purely because of speculation that he is my 'mystery boyfriend'. Another individual linked to my friend - who has personally harassed me, my fans, and my real life friends - also discovered the forum and began to spout their own grievances on my 'thread'.
Between the video that led to hundreds of people discussing what a horrible human I am, and my friend's life being dragged across a public forum purely because he has association with me - it was enough for me to come to the conclusion that right now, social media just isn't for me. I'm not strong enough to cope with it. It has been that way for a long while, and I've been in denial about it for too long. My self-worth would all depend on what was being said about me - I'd spend hours a day looking at forums and indirect tweets (yes, I've lied in the past saying I don't check - I got back into that bad habit a while ago) as well as creatively struggling and feeling very lost in terms of 'identity'. I still do.
I have deleted my Twitter and Instagram, and unless I reactivate them for my team to promote my music with, I will not be personally coming back to them until I am ready. I have also taken it upon myself to live on my savings until I am ready to return to making videos. I do not yet know when I will be back and feeling emotionally mature enough to post on social media and deal with any backlash and criticism.
So, the Karim situation:
For those of you not up-to-date, please click here -
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QNIiEOj3Xek
An individual named Edwin posted the above video about a week ago, using my name and image to push a very one-sided narrative about a situation that involved myself and his friend Karim Slimani. Karim was someone who lived with my then-boyfriend and friends, and in 2014 was accused of asking his fans for naked photos on Snapchat and other messaging apps (edit: at time of me writing this, only one post is still up online, and because we all rely on physical proof, I guess we'll hear that it is 'just one person' but as I recall there were multiple at the time. Can't prove it now, but that is how I remember it)
Evan's post will provide the sources of proof for these accusations, and these were the statements from the time. I personally believe these accusations to be true, just as I did in 2014. As far as I can recall, there is no physical proof that disproves all of the multiple accusations made regarding Karim.
After these accusations came to light, I was extremely upset and publicly distanced myself from Karim due to his behaviour. I do not regret this decision, I stand by it, and I will not apologise for it, no matter how hard his friend tries to push this narrative of innocence. As far as I can recall, my decision to no longer associate myself with Karim had nothing to do with the statement made by Dodie regarding Karim making her feel extremely uncomfortable. There has also been another account of Karim making a woman feel uncomfortable (which you can read in Evan's post) which I have been told Edwin was personally informed about but chose not to discuss it because it was 'not relevant'. I can only tell you that my sources for this come from personal communication that I trust, and cannot provide physical proof for this, but I hope this speaks volumes about the potential for bias in Edwin's content.
Five years after I distanced myself from Karim publicly, Edwin tweets me (and others) out of the blue with what was essentially a demand to apologise to Karim for 'ruining' his career - I got angry at this sudden reminder of the situation (I didn't live with Karim, or kick him out a house - I sent an angry tweet five years ago) and again lashed out on Twitter towards Edwin, which led to him making a video about me. I regretted lashing out and deleted my tweet in twenty minutes due to that regret of how I came across. This entire situation has made me realise that I need to sit on my emotions more and not instantly reply to people who are trying their hardest to get a reaction out of me.
When speaking to my ex-boyfriend about his text message to Karim (which Karim then sent on to Edwin...) I was also made aware that his text was taken out of context, possibly in order to make my choice to distance myself from Karim look irrational in comparison to other people who were there at the time.
Regardless of which 'side' you take in this five year old drama, I'd ask you all to remember that EVERY story has three sides - the truth usually sits somewhere in the middle, devoid of bias and emotion. I would like to apologise for likening Karim to a 'waster' if his behaviour was in fact down to having depression, as claimed. If this is true, then my words were unfair. However, I do hope that down the line, Edwin apologises for sweeping Karim's actions under the rug by calling them merely an 'abuse of power' in his comments section whilst making multiple videos trying to bring this person back into a community of young people. Edwin did address Karim about this topic and there is proof in his video of Karim ADMITTING his actions, but I personally just feel as though an apology for talking to underage girls just isn't enough to make everything 'okay' for him to return.
I am sad that a fall-out that occurred five years ago that involved myself, my friends, Karim and his victims has now been dragged into the public eye and now involves over 150,000 people. I am sure the girls that I believe Karim has affected would not be happy to have their situation brought back to light.
That is my final statement on the issue and I am sure a video will be made about it, which is why I was so hesitant to make one. However, I have been backed into a corner - reply, and get another biased video made. Ignore it, and be accused of 'running away'. I will not apologise to someone who I believe asked underage girls for naked photos and made women feel uncomfortable. I will not attempt to 'hear out' a story which I believe will be full of wrongful denials over a situation that belongs firmly in the past.
Now, as for leaving:
No, I didn't leave to 'run away'. No, I didn't leave to make people worry. I realised that I had got to the point where my presence online was affecting people in the real world who didn't deserve it. My friends and family were all noticing a change in my behaviour over the past year or so, and I was stubborn enough to deny that I was having problems coping with feeling unoriginal and uncreative. My passion for creating videos had completely died, I had no idea who I was anymore, I was desperately trying to take inspiration from Instagram bloggers and self-help YouTube creators without realising I was heading for a crash and burn.
My BPD symptoms had gotten completely out of control; feeling completely empty, acting irrationally angry and unable to take any criticism (and even a slight suggestion from anyone could have been perceived as 'hate' in my brain) - and so whilst I am taking this break, I am focusing on the real world, strengthening my relationships, and finally committing to going to therapy twice a week to address my BPD. This is something I have avoided since my diagnosis because accepting that this a life-long stigma is terrifying. I am done sweeping it under the rug now I have been able to see the damage I have caused to my friends, family and career over the years.
So anyway, this is it for a while - my socials may become reactivated to post about my next single (which should be out in just over a month or so) but I will not be participating in posting any statuses until I feel I am able to do so with an emotionally mature mind.
Thanks again, and hopefully see you all soon. Take care.
Emma