Adrian Howell
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glitterintheair
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See, that's why I cannot fully agree with people saying that we should be understanding towards him because he's still young. Yeah, he IS young, but at the same time... he's not just a 20 year old with an instagram account. He is a guy with a 20k following who is trying to be a life coach, meaning that he wants to influence people into thinking that what he does and thinks is the right thing but doesn't accept criticism nor tries to understand other people's concerns. I mean, "projecting fears"? Really? That's not fears, that's how things actually are. I'm glad if he managed to move to a foreign Country in his 20s and do a job he has not qualification for, but that screams PRIVILEGE everywhere so yeah, I think he's out of touch with reality and really needs someone to guide him a bit.
I'm a winter flower underground, always thirsty for summer rain.
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alittledizzy
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alittledizzy wrote: ↑Mon Feb 08, 2021 2:22 pm Comment exchange on this pic, pasting cause i can't ss at the moment. I've never seen him get so defensive before. Commenter has points, though.
sunflowourvol
Isn’t a little insensitive to be showing your great adventures and travels at a time like this? Many of us have family members who have passed recently due to all this travelling. It’s hard all around for everyone but showing how great you have it is just a bit upsetting meanwhile the rest of us are stuck in our own country at home not able to do anything by respecting restrictions
adrianhowellcoaching
@sunflowourvol I'm not travelling...I'm a legal resident in Portugal. I've been here for 5 months and this is where I live now. Am I expected to not share my life and my thoughts, because it might upset others who project their circumstances and fears onto me? It's not my intention to show "how great I have it"...my intention is to speak my truth and if that upsets you, that's not my responsibility. It's yours. I am respecting restrictions and perhaps if you thought to do some research, and seek to understand others rather than attack, then it might make more sense.
sunflowourvol
@adrianhowellcoaching I’m not attacking.. I’m literally going to my grandmothers funeral today I was trying to provoke a thought and make you understand how it might be upsetting for some people. I didn’t realise this pandemic started less than 5 months ago.
alien wrote: ↑Mon Feb 08, 2021 3:02 pm it's always "fear" with these assholes. they use that word like a weapon like people should be ashamed of being concerned and having respect for their fellow people. and does he not have any other material? it seems like he's always talking about "speaking his truth" (isn't everybody on sm??) and people "projecting" onto him and "research".
where is the compassion for a whole world of people hurting because of something that has seriously affected the entire world? maybe he should seek to understand that a bit.
Quoting myself again too just for context on the new page, but yeah, this.glitterintheair wrote: ↑Mon Feb 08, 2021 3:35 pm See, that's why I cannot fully agree with people saying that we should be understanding towards him because he's still young. Yeah, he IS young, but at the same time... he's not just a 20 year old with an instagram account. He is a guy with a 20k following who is trying to be a life coach, meaning that he wants to influence people into thinking that what he does and thinks is the right thing but doesn't accept criticism nor tries to understand other people's concerns. I mean, "projecting fears"? Really? That's not fears, that's how things actually are. I'm glad if he managed to move to a foreign Country in his 20s and do a job he has not qualification for, but that screams PRIVILEGE everywhere so yeah, I think he's out of touch with reality and really needs someone to guide him a bit.
I mean, I feel bad for him for the teenager hate pile on that happened on twitter, and I feel bad for people leaving him ig comments about his girlfriend having the hots for his big brother.
But this? This comment? Adrian, bud. You're taking on the role of influencer. People are allowed to comment pointing out the shit that's wrong with what you're trying to put out into the world. He's so fucking ignorant - I mean, moving TO ANOTHER COUNTRY in the middle of a pandemic alone, for no other reason than besides he wanted to be in a place where he was free to go on day long bike rides and mingle with people whenever he wanted, is like... what the fuck? It's privilege. Absolutely.
I hope more people that engage with his content on a sincere basis decide to take the mature route of just calling him out on his bullshit like that commenter did, because I can completely get behind that.
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lefthandedism
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He says: "my intention is to speak my truth and if that upsets you, that's not my responsibility". Okay, wow. The "I'm just being honest" defense. The ultimate stance of someone who is certain that he can and should say whatever he wants with no regard for anyone else--if what he does hurts you that's your problem. A profound lack of empathy.
"If you're left-handed, ask a friend."
"Why am I left-handed?"
"Everybody makes mistakes."
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Megancita75
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I absolutely think he could have responded with a great deal more empathy or just not responded at all, but I don't quite understand what the original poster was trying to get at. To be fair, I don't know what he's been posting, but I just see an image of a person in a scenic place, no where near a crowd. I follow Americans who live in Paris and other people who live in pretty places and athletes who post about getting outside and exercising, but that doesn't mean they still aren't following restrictions for the country they live in. I guess I don't quite understand how it's insensitive to post pics of where you live or engaging in safe outdoor activities, if those are the circumstances you find yourself in. His response was off, for sure, but I also think the original poster's comment was a bit unrealistic and unfair.
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Levitating
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I am sorry.
I struggle to understand your point, but I am coming from a place of ignorance on social media dynamics so please forgive me in you can and educate me.
I truly do not understand how the responsibility can it his. It is his IG account, his social media, his content, his business, his target, his marketing strategy, but also his life, his values, his believes.
How can it be his fault if that girl chooses to follow him? How can it be his fault if that girl has chosen to enter his (however digital) space? IG allows you to block content.
Furthermore, how can they attack him when he hasn't spelt out his reasons behind his move to Portugal.
I do see entitlement and privilege (and British kind of racism) in the things he does, but the way that girl has talked sounds to be a bit demanding. Same as going to a knitting club and demanding they instead do crafts because knitting reminds you of that sad time when....
I struggle to understand your point, but I am coming from a place of ignorance on social media dynamics so please forgive me in you can and educate me.
I truly do not understand how the responsibility can it his. It is his IG account, his social media, his content, his business, his target, his marketing strategy, but also his life, his values, his believes.
How can it be his fault if that girl chooses to follow him? How can it be his fault if that girl has chosen to enter his (however digital) space? IG allows you to block content.
Furthermore, how can they attack him when he hasn't spelt out his reasons behind his move to Portugal.
I do see entitlement and privilege (and British kind of racism) in the things he does, but the way that girl has talked sounds to be a bit demanding. Same as going to a knitting club and demanding they instead do crafts because knitting reminds you of that sad time when....
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alittledizzy
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Social media influencers have a responsibility greater than their own immediate desire to post whatever they want. It's true that the person responding could just block and move on, but the world would be an extremely narrow minded place if everyone took that route when faced with a critical view of someone that has a monetized platform. Especially when what that person supposedly seeks to do is be a life coach, which is exerting an extreme measure of very direct influence over a person's worldview and their mental (and probably physical) health.Levitating wrote: ↑Mon Feb 08, 2021 4:13 pm I am sorry.
I struggle to understand your point, but I am coming from a place of ignorance on social media dynamics so please forgive me in you can and educate me.
I truly do not understand how the responsibility can it his. It is his IG account, his social media, his content, his business, his target, his marketing strategy, but also his life, his values, his believes.
How can it be his fault if that girl chooses to follow him? How can it be his fault if that girl has chosen to enter his (however digital) space? IG allows you to block content.
Furthermore, how can they attack him when he hasn't spelt out his reasons behind his move to Portugal.
I do see entitlement and privilege (and British kind of racism) in the things he does, but the way that girl has talked sounds to be a bit demanding. Same as going to a knitting club and demanding they instead do crafts because knitting reminds you of that sad time when....
The commenter got my standing ovation at “I didn’t realise this pandemic started less than 5 months ago.”
I mean, I’m following celebs in Australia who are out partying in packed rooms and no one wears masks. Nobody’s gonna say they’re being insensitive because they didn’t MOVE there just so they can do that. It’s their home, their situation.
For someone whose occupation is life coaching, adrian’s way of dealing with criticism is concerning. The “don’t like, don’t read/watch/follow” defense is usually for when you’ve exhausted all good reasons. And so much for telling the commenter to “seek to understand others.” He is not doing that at all.
I mean, I’m following celebs in Australia who are out partying in packed rooms and no one wears masks. Nobody’s gonna say they’re being insensitive because they didn’t MOVE there just so they can do that. It’s their home, their situation.
For someone whose occupation is life coaching, adrian’s way of dealing with criticism is concerning. The “don’t like, don’t read/watch/follow” defense is usually for when you’ve exhausted all good reasons. And so much for telling the commenter to “seek to understand others.” He is not doing that at all.
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alittledizzy
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Some more replies to the same post. I'm including the caption of that IG post - I should have before, but I always forget embedding doesn't show a caption.
@adrianhowellcoaching I feel like the tone of your post, especially the closing thought to 'relax and let go,' could feel harmful and flippant during a pandemic that's already killed 2.3m people. Especially since you recently moved to literally the world’s worst-hit country last month where hospitals are still under severe strain. While it's amazing to have a place where you can speak your truth, if you want to be a public figure like a life coach it might be a good idea to consider a bit of introspection and see how your privilege might be perceived by others?
sunflowourvol
@mjcournot129 thank you for putting the words together in a coherent and polite way. I was too upset to even begin to reply myself
sunflowourvol
@adrianhowellcoaching Adrian, I was very upset by your comment. My intention was to give you a perspective from one of many suffering people so you could gain a little empathy about how your posts are perceived by some. As an ‘influencer’, you have a responsibility to set an example, not wearing a mask, being defensive, and lacking empathy is simply not how to be a life coach. I will share the story of my grandmother, she isolated fully alone since February of last year. She contracted the virus, suffered alone in hospital, none of her many loved ones could visit her. She died unexpectedly and painfully, the nurse told us that she said “I can’t breathe with this mask, I’m not ready to go”. She was a sharp woman and had years of life left. This is just the story of one covid death of millions. When I see people like you travelling, without an ounce of empathy or acknowledgment of your privilege, I am saddened that some people don’t seem to live in reality. Set an example, wear a mask, be grateful, and please try to be less defensive & be more introspective.
I'm very interested to see if he'll reply.
mjcournot129Adrian Howell's ig post caption wrote:
How do you manage expectations?
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This was a question that a friend asked me the other day. I feel like it's a topic that holds extra emphasis given the current circumstances.
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For most of us, the plans of the future have been place on hold. The events that we schedule our year around — our birthdays, festivals, our adventures and travel plans have mostly been halted. Expectations have been crushed.
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Regardless of the context, my answer is the same: projecting your contentment into a future event is illusory, because the future only exists as a mental construct. It diverts attention away from what truly matters: the present moment.
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By definition, expectations can only originate from our limited past experiences. When we expect a certain outcome, we are restricting the infinite possibility of what exists beyond our beliefs and our past.
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It's the equivalent of trying to squeeze the vastness of the entire universe into a tiny box. Instead of being set up for disappointment — I've found that a more effective approach is to focus on what can be appreciated within each moment. To relax, let go, and trust that there is a higher purpose, even if it isn't yet visible or apparent.
@adrianhowellcoaching I feel like the tone of your post, especially the closing thought to 'relax and let go,' could feel harmful and flippant during a pandemic that's already killed 2.3m people. Especially since you recently moved to literally the world’s worst-hit country last month where hospitals are still under severe strain. While it's amazing to have a place where you can speak your truth, if you want to be a public figure like a life coach it might be a good idea to consider a bit of introspection and see how your privilege might be perceived by others?
sunflowourvol
@mjcournot129 thank you for putting the words together in a coherent and polite way. I was too upset to even begin to reply myself
sunflowourvol
@adrianhowellcoaching Adrian, I was very upset by your comment. My intention was to give you a perspective from one of many suffering people so you could gain a little empathy about how your posts are perceived by some. As an ‘influencer’, you have a responsibility to set an example, not wearing a mask, being defensive, and lacking empathy is simply not how to be a life coach. I will share the story of my grandmother, she isolated fully alone since February of last year. She contracted the virus, suffered alone in hospital, none of her many loved ones could visit her. She died unexpectedly and painfully, the nurse told us that she said “I can’t breathe with this mask, I’m not ready to go”. She was a sharp woman and had years of life left. This is just the story of one covid death of millions. When I see people like you travelling, without an ounce of empathy or acknowledgment of your privilege, I am saddened that some people don’t seem to live in reality. Set an example, wear a mask, be grateful, and please try to be less defensive & be more introspective.
I'm very interested to see if he'll reply.
Fascinating. I'm glad people are finally leaving really well-written comments and sending him messages of all the things I've been pondering for months.
He also shared this on his instagram today:
I'm not one to suggest we should all be thinking the same thing (obviously free thought and finding a middle ground etcetc is important), but like... if you're choosing to defend conspiracy theorists in the 2020's... IDK about that.
I once sent Adrian a polite message asking how he was funding all of his travels (in response to a post where his caption suggested everyone should ~get away and travel~ blahblahblah). No response of course. Because you can life coach what Things To Do all day long, but at the end of the day, you need to have the resources and privilege to Do The Things.
He also shared this on his instagram today:
I'm not one to suggest we should all be thinking the same thing (obviously free thought and finding a middle ground etcetc is important), but like... if you're choosing to defend conspiracy theorists in the 2020's... IDK about that.
I once sent Adrian a polite message asking how he was funding all of his travels (in response to a post where his caption suggested everyone should ~get away and travel~ blahblahblah). No response of course. Because you can life coach what Things To Do all day long, but at the end of the day, you need to have the resources and privilege to Do The Things.
Nooooooo!
guess now we know Adrian’s “others projecting fears onto you” rhetoric is likely inspired by JP Sears’ promoted hashtag #freedomfromfear. The kids on Twitter are joking that he’s anticovax but now I wonder if that’s more or less true...I’m seriously gonna vom.
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alittledizzy
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Oh, jesus. I feel like every anti-vaxxer influencer should be legally obligated to list that in their bio so that no one wastes their goddamn time getting brainwashed by someone like that.
My mama says not to talk if you've got nothing nice to say, but jesus, I tried to watch his defensive igtv vid and immediately felt the need to stab my eardrums with a very sharp object. Anyone able to make it through? I had tried for awhile to give this kid the benefit of the doubt, but he is just too far off the deep end.
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alittledizzy
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Watched the whole thing and it's eight minutes of him saying 'if you don't like my posts then there's something wrong with you not me.'
Also picking this quote out specifically: "I don't do anything that puts myself or other people in danger. I don't go to care homes and start spitting on old people."
Does he think that's how people get/give covid? Because what the fuck.
Also picking this quote out specifically: "I don't do anything that puts myself or other people in danger. I don't go to care homes and start spitting on old people."
Does he think that's how people get/give covid? Because what the fuck.
You are a stronger person than me. And literally wtf?!?! I just can't with this asshole.alittledizzy wrote: ↑Tue Feb 09, 2021 7:12 pm Watched the whole thing and it's eight minutes of him saying 'if you don't like my posts then there's something wrong with you not me.'
Also picking this quote out specifically: "I don't do anything that puts myself or other people in danger. I don't go to care homes and start spitting on old people."
Does he think that's how people get/give covid? Because what the fuck.
Do it!!! I will too. It will be so cathartic, right?!
I just made my son unfollow him.
Worth noting that he’s down at least 100 followers from yesterday.
i just got news this morning that my aunt has died from covid and my 22 year old cousin is unresponsive in the icu and not expected to make it through the day. im not saying this for any sympathy. im honestly kinda just in shock. but the thing i keep coming back to with so many of these "spiritual" "fitness and wellness" types is the complete lack of compassion. they straight up do not care about other people. and it boggles the mind to call yourself a life coach and yet...not give a single fuck about people outside of yourself. so much of what his rhetoric boils down to, especially considering what dizzy mentioned above, is my life is most important and im going to live it without considering how it affects anyone else. like what a horrible way to live. that does not seem like a good quality of life. i can't even imagine living that way.
and im going to bring dan into this real quick. im often hard on dan. i dont post nearly as much as i think mainly because i'm like who cares? but one thing i will say, compared to his brother, i do believe that dan genuinely, deeply cares about other people and probably to a fault at times. i dont think there's ever been a time in the last 11 years i've been aware of him that he's made me stop and question whether or not he values the lives of others. but adrian? man they are night and day. and it's like they're both trying to do similar things in life but where they differ is such an important difference. dan isn't perfect, none of us are, but at least he gives a fuck.
and im going to bring dan into this real quick. im often hard on dan. i dont post nearly as much as i think mainly because i'm like who cares? but one thing i will say, compared to his brother, i do believe that dan genuinely, deeply cares about other people and probably to a fault at times. i dont think there's ever been a time in the last 11 years i've been aware of him that he's made me stop and question whether or not he values the lives of others. but adrian? man they are night and day. and it's like they're both trying to do similar things in life but where they differ is such an important difference. dan isn't perfect, none of us are, but at least he gives a fuck.
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lefthandedism
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I'm so sorry.
"If you're left-handed, ask a friend."
"Why am I left-handed?"
"Everybody makes mistakes."
I couldn't stop myself from commenting yesterday and again on the video today 
I didn't realize I still followed him on my side insta and I saw that post yesterday... I should've just come here but I saw his super dismissive response to the person who's grandma just died and everyone else was just blindly defending him? Where's the compassion, you know?
I really worked to be as nice as possible so he couldn't say I was being a "hater" or whatever (I'm the mjcournot one), but I guess he doesn't reply when he can't condescendingly tell someone to "seek to understand rather than attack."
And then this video today? Over ONE commenter who was totally civil and obviously going through something? What happened to putting out the energy you want to see in the world or whatever. Most of the replies on the insta video are blindly supportive but I noticed the three most liked comments aren't.
However, the one with the most likes by far is really blunt but gets the truth across without being hateful. I wish I knew how to link it here but it's best sums up to this line: "You are a full grown adult man, and people shouldn’t tolerate your unqualified life coach business model, the ‘my opinion is always fact and those that disagree are attacking me’, and quite frankly dangerously ignorant posts."
I'm sorry, I should be nicer but I can't vent about his stuff irl bc if my friends saw his stuff they might actually post something much harsher in his comments. I don't want to start a pile-on or anything, I just wish he would think...
although for my own peace I just gotta ignore him now that he's shown himself as an apparent antivaxxer and supports a harmful conspiracy theorist who's one step away from promoting QAnon... my blood pressure can't take it.
I didn't realize I still followed him on my side insta and I saw that post yesterday... I should've just come here but I saw his super dismissive response to the person who's grandma just died and everyone else was just blindly defending him? Where's the compassion, you know? I really worked to be as nice as possible so he couldn't say I was being a "hater" or whatever (I'm the mjcournot one), but I guess he doesn't reply when he can't condescendingly tell someone to "seek to understand rather than attack."
And then this video today? Over ONE commenter who was totally civil and obviously going through something? What happened to putting out the energy you want to see in the world or whatever. Most of the replies on the insta video are blindly supportive but I noticed the three most liked comments aren't.
However, the one with the most likes by far is really blunt but gets the truth across without being hateful. I wish I knew how to link it here but it's best sums up to this line: "You are a full grown adult man, and people shouldn’t tolerate your unqualified life coach business model, the ‘my opinion is always fact and those that disagree are attacking me’, and quite frankly dangerously ignorant posts."
I'm sorry, I should be nicer but I can't vent about his stuff irl bc if my friends saw his stuff they might actually post something much harsher in his comments. I don't want to start a pile-on or anything, I just wish he would think...
although for my own peace I just gotta ignore him now that he's shown himself as an apparent antivaxxer and supports a harmful conspiracy theorist who's one step away from promoting QAnon... my blood pressure can't take it.
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Levitating
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I still fail to understand your point, guys.
Hunger kills far more than Covid, daily. Should we stop posting pictures of pancakes?
IPhones kill people (think of capitalism or effect on climate). The nice pictures we take of ourselves and post online trigger sadness in people who may be suffering from the last waves of your daily actions.
When we access social media account, there is no contract between us and the person posting: they do not own us anything.
Hunger kills far more than Covid, daily. Should we stop posting pictures of pancakes?
IPhones kill people (think of capitalism or effect on climate). The nice pictures we take of ourselves and post online trigger sadness in people who may be suffering from the last waves of your daily actions.
When we access social media account, there is no contract between us and the person posting: they do not own us anything.
@alien I’m so so sorry for your loss.
This could be trump’s defense at impeachment trial. He was only talking, right? No one was forced to listen or believe in anything he said!Levitating wrote: ↑Wed Feb 10, 2021 2:36 am When we access social media account, there is no contract between us and the person posting: they do not own us anything.
Status matters. Those in a position of power need to realize their influences over their audience. It’s in the name! As an influencer, and a self-proclaimed LIFE COACH even, he positioned himself as someone worth listening to and believing in. So, yes, it’s totally fair to criticize him for what he chose to put forward on his platform.
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glitterintheair
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Adrian chose to be an influencer and a life coach, therefore he has a responsibility towards his followers; spreading misinformation can be very dangerous. Obvsly made a good point comparing it to Trump. He was the President, people listened to him and we all know what happened, don’t we? And yet one could say “okay, he’s saying dumb stuff but he can because it’s his own social media account” and that’s... not how it works when it comes to people who have power or any influence on people. It’s not just about the photo Adrian recently posted, it’s his Instagram account in general and the things he does and says - for example, from the way he talks, it almost seems like he’s saying that veganism and meditation can cure depression. He OFFERS programs where he probably says that stuff to people who will listen to him and again - he has no qualification whatsoever to do so. Also, he keeps talking about how we can’t live in fear and we should be allowed to take risks and that’s literally what no one should be saying right now, so he deserves to be called out just like any other influencer. He’s not gonna get a free pass just because he’s Dan’s brother.Levitating wrote: ↑Wed Feb 10, 2021 2:36 am
When we access social media account, there is no contract between us and the person posting: they do not own us anything.
I'm a winter flower underground, always thirsty for summer rain.
Forewarning: I’ve been simmering on this the last couple of days and just ended up writing a whole-ass essay on it, I'm sorry in advance!
I looked up Adrian’s account a week or so ago when the bedding thing was everywhere because why not? Since then, his account has been sitting in my recent searches and I keep flicking over when a story is lit up. Boy do I wish I could take that back. My knowledge of Adrian before was super, super limited. I remember something coming up for a hot sec on the main thread a while back where someone said something about not letting Dan get off easy for trying to move more professionally into the mental health sphere when Adrian got so much shit for it. I looked up his YouTube channel and watched his video on depression and what I said then, and what I still firmly believe, is that the two are not even remotely similar in their approach to talking about mental health or the level of thought put into the content they produce. Not to mention the feeling of responsibility to their followers to provide educated information. They are not the same person and Dan is absolutely afforded a benefit of the doubt that Adrian is not, based on his history of being careful with the information he puts out on the internet and the provision of resources for people who want/need to know more on this topic in particular.
Anyway, Dan’s not the point here, it’s just fascinating seeing two people brought up in a relatively similar environment who both experienced trauma in their childhood/teen years (albeit different forms) can both manifest that experience into a career centring around ‘living your truth’ and taking it to mean two completely different things. His age is honestly irrelevant. By 23 you either have a smidge of empathy and compassion in your body or you don’t.
Back on topic, his coaching insta is so much worse than I had imagined. He comes across as a spoiled white boy who didn’t get into the Oxford English Literature degree he wanted so took off around Europe on who knows’ dime to write tone-deaf prose meant to inspire like some wannabe Jack Kerouac. That may have been a bit harsh but it’s not like he’s ever going to read it and it’s true so...
I’m really passionate about mental health, it’s a topic that’s really important to me and the flippant way Adrian approaches it every god damn time makes me so mad. His attitude toward mental health adds more stigma to therapeutic and medicinal treatment of serious illnesses that in most cases require legitimate professional intervention, not just a bit of meditation and cutting animal products from your diet.
Clearly the vast majority of his followers come from the phandom. I had a look through the comments of his posts after reading about it here and, to me at least, most of the messages of support read very juvenile and are likely very young followers who are very much that, followers. An important part of growing up is realising that people you look up to can be wrong and these people ain’t there yet. To be fair though, I also think life coaching as a career in general feeds on the vulnerable. If you can present a semi-successful existence, be it real or a glamour, and talk out of your ass with authority not matter how inaccurate or harmful what you say is, people searching for hope will follow and listen. God, I really really hope no one here is one and I didn't just insult someone... From that awful IGTV video he’s clearly got the self-confident narcissistic bit down pat holy wow.
Obviously no one should be tearing him down on social media over personal topics but kudos to the people who sent the comments quoted earlier in the thread with level-headed, reasonable feedback about his posts. I had smoke coming out of my ears with his choice of how to deal with someone trying to provide him a little perspective on the millions of lives destroyed by this pandemic.
I used to be a bit confused why Dan didn't follow and support his brother but I now completely understand. Can you imagine the shitstorm if he shared Adrian’s content? If they had any contact other than Christmas visit crossovers, I would honestly be shocked. That’s two very conflicting, very vocal and very public viewpoints.
This has been my entirely too long rant on why people with crappy POVs on mental health should not have a platform: Adrian edition.
TLDR; I hate so much about the things that Adrian chooses to be.
I looked up Adrian’s account a week or so ago when the bedding thing was everywhere because why not? Since then, his account has been sitting in my recent searches and I keep flicking over when a story is lit up. Boy do I wish I could take that back. My knowledge of Adrian before was super, super limited. I remember something coming up for a hot sec on the main thread a while back where someone said something about not letting Dan get off easy for trying to move more professionally into the mental health sphere when Adrian got so much shit for it. I looked up his YouTube channel and watched his video on depression and what I said then, and what I still firmly believe, is that the two are not even remotely similar in their approach to talking about mental health or the level of thought put into the content they produce. Not to mention the feeling of responsibility to their followers to provide educated information. They are not the same person and Dan is absolutely afforded a benefit of the doubt that Adrian is not, based on his history of being careful with the information he puts out on the internet and the provision of resources for people who want/need to know more on this topic in particular.
Anyway, Dan’s not the point here, it’s just fascinating seeing two people brought up in a relatively similar environment who both experienced trauma in their childhood/teen years (albeit different forms) can both manifest that experience into a career centring around ‘living your truth’ and taking it to mean two completely different things. His age is honestly irrelevant. By 23 you either have a smidge of empathy and compassion in your body or you don’t.
Back on topic, his coaching insta is so much worse than I had imagined. He comes across as a spoiled white boy who didn’t get into the Oxford English Literature degree he wanted so took off around Europe on who knows’ dime to write tone-deaf prose meant to inspire like some wannabe Jack Kerouac. That may have been a bit harsh but it’s not like he’s ever going to read it and it’s true so...
I’m really passionate about mental health, it’s a topic that’s really important to me and the flippant way Adrian approaches it every god damn time makes me so mad. His attitude toward mental health adds more stigma to therapeutic and medicinal treatment of serious illnesses that in most cases require legitimate professional intervention, not just a bit of meditation and cutting animal products from your diet.
Clearly the vast majority of his followers come from the phandom. I had a look through the comments of his posts after reading about it here and, to me at least, most of the messages of support read very juvenile and are likely very young followers who are very much that, followers. An important part of growing up is realising that people you look up to can be wrong and these people ain’t there yet. To be fair though, I also think life coaching as a career in general feeds on the vulnerable. If you can present a semi-successful existence, be it real or a glamour, and talk out of your ass with authority not matter how inaccurate or harmful what you say is, people searching for hope will follow and listen. God, I really really hope no one here is one and I didn't just insult someone... From that awful IGTV video he’s clearly got the self-confident narcissistic bit down pat holy wow.
Obviously no one should be tearing him down on social media over personal topics but kudos to the people who sent the comments quoted earlier in the thread with level-headed, reasonable feedback about his posts. I had smoke coming out of my ears with his choice of how to deal with someone trying to provide him a little perspective on the millions of lives destroyed by this pandemic.
I used to be a bit confused why Dan didn't follow and support his brother but I now completely understand. Can you imagine the shitstorm if he shared Adrian’s content? If they had any contact other than Christmas visit crossovers, I would honestly be shocked. That’s two very conflicting, very vocal and very public viewpoints.
This has been my entirely too long rant on why people with crappy POVs on mental health should not have a platform: Adrian edition.
TLDR; I hate so much about the things that Adrian chooses to be.