Adrian Howell

[dontpanic]

I won't say much, because while her website took less than a minute to find it still feels too personal, but I can't imagine thinking a life coach is the right way to address depression and anxiety. That sounds dangerous, especially when children are involved. This makes me extra glad Dan talks so positively about actual therapy

[alien]

I do think it's commendable to go through difficult times, come out of it, and then want to help others but like shan and dontpanic have expressed life coaching is...not it when it comes to mental health.

I find it fascinating that the three of them have all gone down the same path. I'm just glad that the one with the most reach seems to actually advocate seeking professional help.

I've read through the thread but maybe I missed it, did Adrian ever make that other video he teased?

[alittledizzy]

I do think it's commendable to go through difficult times, come out of it, and then want to help others but like shan and dontpanic have expressed life coaching is...not it when it comes to mental health.

I find it fascinating that the three of them have all gone down the same path. I'm just glad that the one with the most reach seems to actually advocate seeking professional help.

I've read through the thread but maybe I missed it, did Adrian ever make that other video he teased?

He hasn't made that third video... he actually took the first two off of his main ig feed (though they're still on his igtv tab).

[Levitating]

I don't know in the U.S., but coaching is a thing in London. There's a big culture around Yoga/wellness

[shan]

I don't know in the U.S., but coaching is a thing in London. There's a big culture around Yoga/wellness

Fitness and well-being is definitely a trend worldwide but I think it’s important to note that there is a big difference between those things and life coaching. Not the least of these differences being in the assistance they claim to provide relative to their actual qualification to do so and in the exorbitant price they charge for their services.

[glitterintheair]

Adrian posted another video on IG to “bring clarity” for anyone who’s concerned about his attitude towards mental health but I can’t bring myself to watch it.

[alittledizzy]

Rundown for anyone that doesn't want to watch.

He's been getting a lot of comments from what he calls nameless, faceless accounts - fake accounts, he assumes - from people asking if he thinks mental illness doesn't exist. He emphatically says that isn't true. A few years ago he was suffering "paralyzing depression, chronic depression, social anxiety, generalized anxiety, body dysmorphia, the list goes on" - so he doesn't deny the fact that mental illness exists.

He talks about the stories he shared from the holistic psychologist and tries to explain/defend those instagram stories about how mental illness comes from coping with trauma from childhood, and he believes from his own experience this is true. He goes on to talk about how there's danger in people making assumptions or putting words in other people's mouth and goes on for a bit about how quickly things spread.

He then talks for a while about the state of the world and how there are more suicides and people are more anxious now and then quotes someone then talks about how he "wasn't raised in an environment conducive to health, it wasn't conducive to living a life of purpose" because of the school system being outdated and making people slaves.

He says again he does not believe that mental illness does not exist, and that the people commenting aren't interested in understanding and are more interested in finding and outlet for their rage and frustration. He thinks it's not justified to direct that in a way that's not appropriate or relevant and he sees this happening "a lot with different people, with different platforms" then goes on a bit of a rant about social media.

"What I share, and what I express, and what I post comes from a place of deep compassion. It comes from a place of understanding the absolute depths of mental and emotional and physical pain that a human can express, because I've been there. So saying that I don't have a right to express my own experience would not be fair, but also to make assumptions about what I believe and what I say is also not fair. And I want to say that I stand firmly on the side of humanity." He keeps on along this same line for a bit, talking about bridging the divide between divisive or conflicting beliefs, then talks about accepting people that don't share his perspective and that he has only the best intentions on social media.

[obvsly]

Rundown for anyone that doesn't want to watch.

He's been getting a lot of comments from what he calls nameless, faceless accounts - fake accounts, he assumes - from people asking if he thinks mental illness doesn't exist. He emphatically says that isn't true. A few years ago he was suffering "paralyzing depression, chronic depression, social anxiety, generalized anxiety, body dysmorphia, the list goes on" - so he doesn't deny the fact that mental illness exists.

He talks about the stories he shared from the holistic psychologist and tries to explain/defend those instagram stories about how mental illness comes from coping with trauma from childhood, and he believes from his own experience this is true. He goes on to talk about how there's danger in people making assumptions or putting words in other people's mouth and goes on for a bit about how quickly things spread.

He then talks for a while about the state of the world and how there are more suicides and people are more anxious now and then quotes someone then talks about how he "wasn't raised in an environment conducive to health, it wasn't conducive to living a life of purpose" because of the school system being outdated and making people slaves.

He says again he does not believe that mental illness does not exist, and that the people commenting aren't interested in understanding and are more interested in finding and outlet for their rage and frustration. He thinks it's not justified to direct that in a way that's not appropriate or relevant and he sees this happening "a lot with different people, with different platforms" then goes on a bit of a rant about social media.

"What I share, and what I express, and what I post comes from a place of deep compassion. It comes from a place of understanding the absolute depths of mental and emotional and physical pain that a human can express, because I've been there. So saying that I don't have a right to express my own experience would not be fair, but also to make assumptions about what I believe and what I say is also not fair. And I want to say that I stand firmly on the side of humanity." He keeps on along this same line for a bit, talking about bridging the divide between divisive or conflicting beliefs, then talks about accepting people that don't share his perspective and that he has only the best intentions on social media.

Thank you so much for taking one for the team...

Oh Adrian.
I’m out of air to sigh and out of eyes to roll. Ugh.

[alittledizzy]

Someone flip the 'days since Adrian Howell posted some bullshit' counter back to zero.

[glitterintheair]

I mean, he's a life coach without qualification, so it doesn't surprise me that's what he thinks.

[obvsly]

Someone flip the 'days since Adrian Howell posted some bullshit' counter back to zero.

This is like something you tell your children in a hurry to find something to say when they told you they failed a test.

[alittledizzy]

Back at it with that medical advice, I see.

When I was 16, I was told I would need to wear a full-length back brace to correct my abnormally curved spine. ⁣
.⁣
I was diagnosed with scoliosis, and at the time I couldn't stand up or walk for more than an hour without experiencing severe back pain. It was excruciating.⁣
.⁣
This was only the tip of the iceberg. Beyond my painful physical ailments, including severe eczema and asthma — I was experiencing deep mental and emotional suffering. ⁣
.⁣
I wanted to get fit, but I was told that I would never be able to run, that my body wouldn't be able to tolerate the impact. It felt like there was no hopeful outcome for my life or my health.⁣
.⁣
Why am I sharing this? Because I believe that we all have the ability to change in profound ways. Far beyond the definitions that others place upon us. ⁣
.⁣
We all experience pain. We all experience challenges — but how we respond to them is what determines the quality of our life. ⁣
.⁣
There isn't a secret formula. Only the qualities that are often overlooked in our fast-paced, modern lives: patience, persistence and purpose. Most importantly, seeking guidance and support. ⁣
.⁣
I currently have 3 spaces open for 1-1 holistic health coaching. If my message speaks to you, feel free to reach out using the link in my bio. Make today the first step towards a new life. ⁣

[anna_begins]

There's some discussion on twitter about Adrian's latest post where he talks about how tough it was growing up and being called gay because he hung out with girls.

In primary school, I was considered weird for being a friendship group with girls. I was called "gay" by other boys as an attempted insult. The feelings of rejection started at an early age.⁣

Also he was bad at sports. This guy is really insufferable.

[shan]

I made the mistake of checking out some of his recent posts. He really has a way with saying some terrible things in a narcissistic pseudo-profound way. If something worked for him and his very specific ailments as a growing teenager, it should be the same for the other 7 billion people on the planet, right? I genuinely worry for some of the young people who probably come across his account through DnP and aren't able to judge the legitimacy of what 'adults' who claim to be experts say. I know when I was younger I definitely took what authoritative figures said at face value. Some of his claims are downright dangerous.

The troubles growing up post is whatever. Everyone has trauma growing up and yeah, he probably didn't pick the best examples. I do think we as the audience are always going to (kind of unfairly) compare whatever he says re: school trauma to the experiences Dan talked about in BIG. One struggle doesn't negate another but what really rubbed me the wrong way about that post was the comment he pinned. Really dude?

[alittledizzy]

The biggest impression I get reading his current post and comment exchanges underneath is that he really just didn't ask for a queer audience and doesn't particularly like having one. He's also incredibly bad at admitting that he might have worded anything badly and seems to get defensive easily.

That said, you can view the hidden comments through the app, and some of the shit he got was not it. Random hate doesn't actually help the whole defensive thing or his attitude because it's easy to lump everyone together.

[rizzo]

The biggest impression I get reading his current post and comment exchanges underneath is that he really just didn't ask for a queer audience and doesn't particularly like having one. He's also incredibly bad at admitting that he might have worded anything badly and seems to get defensive easily.

He's not gonna last very long as an influencer.

[obvsly]

What annoys me the most about Adrian is he is terribly immature and doesn't know it. He has this overconfidence that young people have, which is not always a bad thing. But with the way he places himself in the position of a mentor (or a "holistic health coach"), it is.

He himself needs a mentor who has been through different sets of obstacles in life. Or at least I hope he realises soon that he needs a sensitivity reader to check his posts before publishing them.

I hope, but I actually don't think he would. He has enough audience who enable him that he feels his views and content are justified. And this is just sad.

[shan]

What annoys me the most about Adrian is he is terribly immature and doesn't know it. He has this overconfidence that young people have, which is not always a bad thing. But with the way he places himself in the position of a mentor (or a "holistic health coach"), it is.

He himself needs a mentor who has been through different sets of obstacles in life. Or at least I hope he realises soon that he needs a sensitivity reader to check his posts before publishing them.

I hope, but I actually don't think he would. He has enough audience who enable him that he feels his views and content are justified. And this is just sad.

100%. That always strikes me when I see the quotes he posts in his stories and how he responds when people question him. He seems to interpret a lot of these quotes in the most self-centred way possible.

For example, his constant insistence that if you disagree with something he says or does, it’s your problem and you must be projecting onto him so you have to ‘look inward’ and let him do whatever he wants.

I’m struggling with how to word this so hopefully it makes sense but IMO this is a fundamentally flawed interpretation of the idea that you can’t control what other people do so you shouldn’t let other people’s words/actions dictate your life. I would think most people would take this from the perspective of ‘someone’s unreasonably being an asshole to me, I haven’t done anything to cause this so I shouldn’t take it personally’. He seems to take this as he can do whatever he wants and anyone who disagrees or raises concern over his words/actions clearly has a problem they need to deal with because he can do no wrong... And then plays the victim.

It’s an incredibly selfish, self-serving way of thinking and again just shows off his immaturity and lack of empathy. He seems completely incapable of listening to what people have to say because he’s so blinded by this idea that no one can say anything negative about his words without it being grounded in a personal problem the concerned party needs to deal with.

[alittledizzy]

I do agree with everything in this post but viewing all those messages he hid sat so poorly with me that I haven't been able to stop thinking about it.

The thing is, Adrian really does have every right to make a post about things he found traumatic as a child. None of us see life through the same lens, if you haven't had it worse then what you had will always seem bad. The fact that he lacks perspective and empathy to be able to understand other people do have it worse and contextualize how something that might have hurt him and been just a factor in how he was bullied could have deeper meaning to someone else is why I don't think he should be giving anyone life advice. But when it comes to just - sharing his story? Yeah. Let him. That doesn't bother me.

And the fact that he did that - shared stuff that hurt him as a teenager - and the response from a handful of people was to straight up continue bullying him is just fucking shitty. I'm a lesbian that was outed my senior year of high school by a supposed friend in the bible belt and physically threatened because of it. I get the trauma that being gay can bring to you. But people that are cishet can still be bullied. They can still have trauma, even if it isn't your trauma. Being gay isn't a monopoly on shitty formative years and the fact that some people are out there responding to his posts literally just to try and bully him further are probably part of why in the comments he did leave we read him as patronizing. One of them literally just said 'I hope you get bullied off the internet again.' Another just commented 'gay.' I know from my own experience with anons on tumblr once you've had a few shitty ones you are defensive and it colors how you respond to the rest, even ones that are sincere.

Adrian shouldn't have used 'gay' as an example of an insult. He should learn to be more considerate of the fact that he inherited his brother's audience, and his brother's audience isn't straight. He should learn how to work around that or make it clear that lgbtq isn't his demographic nor the audience/client base he wants, if that's the case. I would even more love to just see him have an honest back and forth with some of the more thoughtful comments people leave. But I don't think that's happening as long as a chunk of Dan's fans think that how you resolve a situation is just to harass/threaten/bully someone until they shut up and you take their silence as an admission of guilt.

[lefthandedism]

I agree with everything Dizzy says. And also--the phandom is literally part of Adrian's teenage trauma. We could (inappropriately--we don't actually know his life) spin theories about Adrian's unique relationship with the phandom and how it has affected him. More importantly, I hope he gets some sort of qualified help with dealing with his issues to make sure he has a healthy relationship with the internet and the phandom, for his own sake, as well as for the sake of everyone he seeks to influence.

[obvsly]

Being gay isn't a monopoly on shitty formative years and the fact that some people are out there responding to his posts literally just to try and bully him further are probably part of why in the comments he did leave we read him as patronizing. One of them literally just said 'I hope you get bullied off the internet again.' Another just commented 'gay.'

oh damn, I really didn't know that! I do know though how brutal a vocal section of the phandom can be. *sigh*

at this point i'm just glad that I'm old enough to know that I don't know everything, and I can happily and freely admit that too. I hope that day comes for them soon.

[alittledizzy]

Being gay isn't a monopoly on shitty formative years and the fact that some people are out there responding to his posts literally just to try and bully him further are probably part of why in the comments he did leave we read him as patronizing. One of them literally just said 'I hope you get bullied off the internet again.' Another just commented 'gay.'

oh damn, I really didn't know that! I do know though how brutal a vocal section of the phandom can be. *sigh*

at this point i'm just glad that I'm old enough to know that I don't know everything, and I can happily and freely admit that too. I hope that day comes for them soon.

Here are some of them under the cut, I struck out the names quickly but I think they got out of order. You get the gist, anyway.

[obvsly]

Here are some of them under the cut, I struck out the names quickly but I think they got out of order. You get the gist, anyway.

Vile. It actually might be better for him to leave the comments there and not hide them. Let it all play out and show people what he has to deal with. Then maybe for the next posts, choose to let only followers comment on them.

I still have hopes for Adrian. I know he can learn if he puts his mind to it. (I can't say the same about these bullies though.) Too bad that it's too easy for him now to just file critical responses as "haters gonna hate" and brush them aside, learning nothing as a result.

[shan]

Ffs... I don’t even know where to start with those comments. My post was referring to thoughtful comments people have left about their concerns in the past like the mask incident from a few months ago. This is just juvenile and awful.

I get so frustrated when people try to rank trauma. You will never know everything someone else has been through. He didn’t use good examples but they likely aren’t the worst things he’s experienced either. I doubt he wants to ever reference the phandom so what may be his most traumatic experiences might be off limits for him to mention. I usually offer up sanitised versions of my trauma as well. My only complaint about the post was the comment he pinned being ott adoring but after seeing those other comments, he may have just done it to keep the insulting ones pushed down and honestly, fair enough.

[alittledizzy]

Ffs... I don’t even know where to start with those comments. My post was referring to thoughtful comments people have left about their concerns in the past like the mask incident from a few months ago. This is just juvenile and awful.

I get so frustrated when people try to rank trauma. You will never know everything someone else has been through. He didn’t use good examples but they likely aren’t the worst things he’s experienced either. I doubt he wants to ever reference the phandom so what may be his most traumatic experiences might be off limits for him to mention. I usually offer up sanitised versions of my trauma as well. My only complaint about the post was the comment he pinned being ott adoring but after seeing those other comments, he may have just done it to keep the insulting ones pushed down and honestly, fair enough.

Honestly, yeah.

I need people to not be blatant assholes to him so that we can have a reasonable expectation that he respond to the level-headed constructive criticizing, because there is sure as fuck something there to legitimately criticize.