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Cora
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Relevant to nothing, ever since Deppy's video, I've found myself unable to stop playing that stupid Agar.io game.

I decided to pop on for a couple minutes and play a round and um...this happened?

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I learned that there are alliances and teams and once I made it to the leaderboard, I started finding people helping me, and hiding behind me from other players, and feeding me bits of their orb to grow in exchange for protection. Felt good, man.

...also, I *may* be playing under the name "PROTIP"
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coffee pig
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He's not a bad guy, we have a lot of fun together, but I want my freedom and I want a career and be successful. Maybe I'm a bitch, I'm not sure.
You don't sound like a bitch at all. You are young, there's no need to settle for someone you aren't on the same page with. Do what makes you happy. (Not that I'm saying you should be taking advice from an anonymous 22-year-old on a forum who has an avatar that is a derpy picture of Tyler Joseph holding some bananas, but yeah. :D)
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Lucet
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Ticia wrote:Mmm..that sounds complicated and emotionally tiring, but it looks like you've already made a decision :platonic:

I was in a toxic relationship just like you described yours, and I finally got fed up and dumped his sorry ass, although until I mustered the courage, he had already coerced me into not accepting an overseas position. He was a good person, but at the end of the day, a partner has to support you and motivate you to become a better person, not exclusively his / her personal cheerleader.
It got worse in the past few months. He's insecure because he can't keep me from doing what I want (actually a few of my relationships ended up because of this, I guess it says something about me as well). He thinks that if we get married and have children I will settle down. But I'm not ready for such a huge commitment yet.
Anyway, I'm already talking about "postponing" the engagement (I don't want to end it right now, because we might work it out) because we were set to get married in mid September, but he's not happy about that, so I guess it will end up in breakup :?
My family is also in love with him, so guess the backlash I'm going to get :lol:

But I had a phone interview for an overseas position yesterday, so I got that going for me which is nice.
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Poe
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I decided to stop lurking on this thread and actually post so there will be a lot of "off-topic" responses but you can just ignore them :D

[offtopic]I am barely bilingual but I know 4 languages:
1- Native
2- English in which I'm fluent (more like a native at this point)
3- German- beginner (I started learning it last year and my teacher is not helping me at all. I used to really look forwoard to the german lessons but now..)
4- japanese- beginner (still trying to get the hang of kanji)

Also on the language topic, I actually think in my native language very very rarely. I think in English and use it on a day to day basis more, swear in English/ my native language sometimes and Japanese when I really just want to confuse the other person.[/offtopic]

[offtopic]I'm a hobbit and my height trolled me. I'm 159cm/ 5'3" and my shoe size is 38-39EU/8US/6UK[/offtopic]
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adequate duck
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Lucet wrote: It got worse in the past few months. He's insecure because he can't keep me from doing what I want (actually a few of my relationships ended up because of this, I guess it says something about me as well). He thinks that if we get married and have children I will settle down. But I'm not ready for such a huge commitment yet.
From my cranky over-the-hill armchair of soon-to-be 46-ness: From experience and observation you grow a lot in your early to mid 20s. And very often you grow at different speeds and in different directions from the people you were close to a few years previously. There's nothing wrong with that, everyone needs to do things at their own pace.

No need to rush things - I started dating my now-husband when he was 21 and I was 28 (I know, cradle-robber!). He grew a lot in the 5 or 6 years to 26/27, but luckily it was compatible with where I was and what I was doing. I got married at 36 and had a baby at 39.

(Also the jealousy thing - RUN AWAY, RUN AWAY NOW! - red flag so much. How can he want to marry you if he doesn't trust you - sounds like he's looking for someone to control and not an equal partner).

Jealousy aside, postponing the wedding is the best idea, and then you can work out if you want to go through with it. From what you've said, I wouldn't, but there's always a lot more to it than can be expressed in a few paragraphs, and obviously there are good things about him, otherwise you wouldn't be with him in the first place.
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DryCereal
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Poe wrote:[offtopic]I'm a hobbit and my height trolled me. I'm 159cm/ 5'3" and my shoe size is 38-39EU/8US/6UK[/offtopic]
I'll swap feet with you!!!! 5'9 and UK2.5 - You aren't the only one to be trolled!

Lucet: Don't marry someone you are not 100% sure you want to be with. Just don't. Whether that means taking some thinking time, postponing the wedding, or breaking things off completely, just do what you feel is right for you.
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Poe
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I recently started searching some new music/bands to listen to because of this drought and I thought I'd ask you guys: What's your favorite band/artist?
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aralik
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Poe wrote:I recently started searching some new music/bands to listen to because of this drought and I thought I'd ask you guys: What's your favorite band/artist?
a very quick response to this here now: i might point you to the music thread here http://indepthbants.com/topic15.html
at the same time to take the opportunity to promote a fellow youtuber troye sivan if you haven't listened to him before. good luck with finding new music!
ugh.
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Poe
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aralik wrote:
Poe wrote:I recently started searching some new music/bands to listen to because of this drought and I thought I'd ask you guys: What's your favorite band/artist?
a very quick response to this here now: i might point you to the music thread here http://indepthbants.com/topic15.html
at the same time to take the opportunity to promote a fellow youtuber troye sivan if you haven't listened to him before. good luck with finding new music!
Oh my, I'm sorry I didn't know there was already a thread for this :oops:
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Cora
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Poe wrote: [offtopic]I'm a hobbit and my height trolled me. I'm 159cm/ 5'3" and my shoe size is 38-39EU/8US/6UK[/offtopic]
I feel ya. I'm 5'5" (165cm) and wear a 9.5US (7.5UK).
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DryCereal
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cora808 wrote:
Poe wrote: [offtopic]I'm a hobbit and my height trolled me. I'm 159cm/ 5'3" and my shoe size is 38-39EU/8US/6UK[/offtopic]
I feel ya. I'm 5'5" (165cm) and wear a 9.5US (7.5UK).
Same offer applies then...! :D
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Cora
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IckleMissMayhem wrote:
cora808 wrote:
Poe wrote: [offtopic]I'm a hobbit and my height trolled me. I'm 159cm/ 5'3" and my shoe size is 38-39EU/8US/6UK[/offtopic]
I feel ya. I'm 5'5" (165cm) and wear a 9.5US (7.5UK).
Same offer applies then...! :D
You wear a 2.5UK and you're 5'9''??? Do you fall over with a gust of wind?
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DryCereal
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cora808 wrote:
IckleMissMayhem wrote:
cora808 wrote:
Poe wrote: [offtopic]I'm a hobbit and my height trolled me. I'm 159cm/ 5'3" and my shoe size is 38-39EU/8US/6UK[/offtopic]
I feel ya. I'm 5'5" (165cm) and wear a 9.5US (7.5UK).
Same offer applies then...! :D
You wear a 2.5UK and you're 5'9''??? Do you fall over with a gust of wind?
Pretty much(!) Though the real issue isn't with the length of my feet, it's the fact I have a stupidly high instep, so sometimes I can't even get my feet into size 4/5 shoes. I. HATE. SHOE. SHOPPING. :cry:
NGL, kinda gutted I didn't have any broken bones in either foot - I'd definitely have made a deal with the ortho team to stretch 'em out a bit, but no dice!! :sideeye: :facepalm:
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Lucet
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adequack wrote:
From my cranky over-the-hill armchair of soon-to-be 46-ness: From experience and observation you grow a lot in your early to mid 20s. And very often you grow at different speeds and in different directions from the people you were close to a few years previously. There's nothing wrong with that, everyone needs to do things at their own pace.

No need to rush things - I started dating my now-husband when he was 21 and I was 28 (I know, cradle-robber!). He grew a lot in the 5 or 6 years to 26/27, but luckily it was compatible with where I was and what I was doing. I got married at 36 and had a baby at 39.

(Also the jealousy thing - RUN AWAY, RUN AWAY NOW! - red flag so much. How can he want to marry you if he doesn't trust you - sounds like he's looking for someone to control and not an equal partner).

Jealousy aside, postponing the wedding is the best idea, and then you can work out if you want to go through with it. From what you've said, I wouldn't, but there's always a lot more to it than can be expressed in a few paragraphs, and obviously there are good things about him, otherwise you wouldn't be with him in the first place.
I feel like I already grew a lot in the past few years as there were a quite few tragedies in my life. He also did, but in his own way. About the jealousy, I agree. I always said that when a guy is a bit jealous, it's a good thing. But a bit jealous (like when a guy approaches you and starts flirting and your other half gives him "the look" - it's usually directed at the one who approaches) and overly jealous ("Who's is he? Your cousin? I still don't want to see you hugging him!" - directed at me). We had conversations about it, he's trying, but you know... Sometimes I feel that it's not me he's not trusting, but himself. I don't know, the more I write, the more I see that it's a healthy relationship anymore.
You're definitely not a cradle-robber, I went on a few dates with a guy that was nearly 20 years older than me, never again. I'd rather date a younger guy :?
I think I will talk about postponing it and we'll see what comes along next. I have a feeling that we're going to break up because I know him too well.

Thank you IckleMissMayhem, postponing and seeing what's next would be the best, yet it usually ends up in ending the relationship. It's not an easy period for me, that's for sure, but at least I'll have my freedom back


Talking about height and shoe sizes - I'm 5'7" (169cm-170cm), EUR 38-39 (UK6, US8). BUT I have wider feet, so I usually have to get shoes one size up (which sucks) or walk with sore feet all day long (which sucks even more). I hate it, especially with ballet pumps, it seems like it's made for barbie feet. Wide fits are also funny, because usually they're too wide :lol:
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Lucet wrote:I hate it, especially with ballet pumps, it seems like it's made for barbie feet.
They really are!! I'd honestly rather suffer feeling like I'm en pointe all day in heels than have those satan shoes falling off my feet with literally every step I take. :sideeye:
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IckleMissMayhem wrote:
Lucet wrote:I hate it, especially with ballet pumps, it seems like it's made for barbie feet.
They really are!! I'd honestly rather suffer feeling like I'm en pointe all day in heels than have those satan shoes falling off my feet with literally every step I take. :sideeye:
I literally have 3 pairs of shoes at work, because you just never know... :lol: and I also realised how good the runners/sneakers are. I used to look at the women wearing office clothes and sports shoes as a bit cuckoo, well I was young and stupid... Now most of the time I'm just wearing those. Step aside Jimmy Choo's - Nike is my gig 8-) .
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timtam wrote: Worst thing was it always came from people who were quite short. I'd never point out to someone who is short that they are really short. I guess that has something to do with being tall being more attractive than being short I don't know because I'm not sure that's true.
I think a lot of it has to do with that. Of course the grass is always greener on the otherside, but in general people usually prefer tall heights (at least in men, and of course they're the only ones who matter :roll:). People often flat out don't believe me when I say I'd rather date a guy under 5'6" (or that D&P's height is not actually a turn on, haha).

I could see a few short people pointing it out as a sort of revenge, since I know I've gotten so many comments from tall people about being short, often while also using me as an armrest. :sideeye: I don't think I'd every make fun of anyone for being tall, though, but I have mentioned it when meeting people, mostly out of awe and neck strain.

Relevant video as it shows the pros and cons of being both tall and short.
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Lucet I'm not going to give my opinion on what direction you should take; my only advise once you made a decision don't ever look back, no regrets and explore ahead.
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angrymob wrote:
timtam wrote: Worst thing was it always came from people who were quite short. I'd never point out to someone who is short that they are really short. I guess that has something to do with being tall being more attractive than being short I don't know because I'm not sure that's true.
I think a lot of it has to do with that. Of course the grass is always greener on the otherside, but in general people usually prefer tall heights (at least in men, and of course they're the only ones who matter :roll:). People often flat out don't believe me when I say I'd rather date a guy under 5'6" (or that D&P's height is not actually a turn on, haha).

I could see a few short people pointing it out as a sort of revenge, since I know I've gotten so many comments from tall people about being short, often while also using me as an armrest. :sideeye: I don't think I'd every make fun of anyone for being tall, though, but I have mentioned it when meeting people, mostly out of awe and neck strain.

Relevant video as it shows the pros and cons of being both tall and short.
Oh yes! Comments about height while being used as armrest are way too familiar for me :roll:
Literally, everyone who I meet irl usually goes "omg you're so short!!!!!" Well and thats why I then use the "omg you're so tall!!!" response.
Like height difference in relationships looks pretty cute, but then the logistics of having a relationship with height difference is uh... Not so comfortable. Includes lots of crouching, stairs and awkward "face burried in the other one's chest" moments.
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Lucet wrote:
IckleMissMayhem wrote:
Lucet wrote:I hate it, especially with ballet pumps, it seems like it's made for barbie feet.
They really are!! I'd honestly rather suffer feeling like I'm en pointe all day in heels than have those satan shoes falling off my feet with literally every step I take. :sideeye:
I literally have 3 pairs of shoes at work, because you just never know... :lol: and I also realised how good the runners/sneakers are. I used to look at the women wearing office clothes and sports shoes as a bit cuckoo, well I was young and stupid... Now most of the time I'm just wearing those. Step aside Jimmy Choo's - Nike is my gig 8-) .
Heels at work. Kind of a total non-starter for me. Wonder how long I'd last before either breaking something or pitching into the water...! (Both, probably, knowing me!)
PolarFox wrote:Like height difference in relationships looks pretty cute, but then the logistics of having a relationship with height difference is uh... Not so comfortable. Includes lots of crouching, stairs and awkward "face burried in the other one's chest" moments.
See, I like feeling like the smol one. Probably because I don't get to the rest of the time, also being sat on countertops beats stairs... eh? what? Don't mind me...!!
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IckleMissMayhem wrote:
PolarFox wrote:Like height difference in relationships looks pretty cute, but then the logistics of having a relationship with height difference is uh... Not so comfortable. Includes lots of crouching, stairs and awkward "face burried in the other one's chest" moments.
See, I like feeling like the smol one. Probably because I don't get to the rest of the time, also being sat on countertops beats stairs... eh? what? Don't mind me...!!
See, I'm always the smol one and it's nice feeling sometimes, but sometimes I'd like not to... And I was thinking more the execution of that relationship than the feelings :lol:
countertops are uncomfortable as heck but work well ummm what
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sweetmm wrote:Lucet I'm not going to give my opinion on what direction you should take; my only advise once you made a decision don't ever look back, no regrets and explore ahead.
Thanks, that's what I'm doing for sure.
Over the weekend we both decided to postpone it. We're still together and engaged, but will wait and see in what direction the relationship goes. Of course it might end up in breakup, especially if I will decide to move (I had two phone interviews for positions overseas) and he seems not too keen on moving.

IckleMissMayhem walked a few miles in ballet pumps today. Blisters... Blisters everywhere...
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Lucet wrote:IckleMissMayhem walked a few miles in ballet pumps today. Blisters... Blisters everywhere...
Whyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy?!!! :itsokay:
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aralik
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cora808 wow, you are a true leader to bow down to, especially with that username on agar.io :lol: how did you manage that level

lucet i wanna echo sweetmm and hope you will decide to do what's best for you. you're young and it seems you have good opportunities ahead of you, so do what feels right, don't let anyone make choices for you (be it how you feel in a relationship or what another person says) and look forward! i hope things turn out the best for you! :platonic:

also chiming in to say, yes to sneakers for every occasion! and for more official stuff maybe brogues/oxfords of some sort (from a good brand). i'm always scared of ballet pumps because i fear the blisters. high heels are a real challenge and a gamble really. also don't care about height wear all the shoes you want!
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ballerinas don't give me blisters?
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