Interactive Introverts Fan Submitted Answer Segments (II SPOILERS!)

A place to compile and archive information for reference/analysis.
Post Reply
User avatar
alittledizzy
actual demon phannie
actual demon phannie
Posts: 3407
Joined: Sat Mar 26, 2016 3:09 pm
Pronouns: she/her

Interactive Introverts Fan Submitted Answer Segments (II SPOILERS!)

Post by alittledizzy » Sun Apr 29, 2018 1:44 pm

Brighton Matinee - 28 April 2018

Intro Banter
D: Starting by the sea. This is the first show in the whole darn tour.
P: So if the entire set falls on top of us, that was totally meant to happen.
D: And you can be like, I was here when Phil fell in this hole, broke both his legs, and then the tour was canceled. It was a great one show they did.
P: That is a large hole. But we were in the hotel and I was looking out of the hotel at three o'clock in the morning and I saw a shadow and I was like, is that a person, is there a person, is there a person looking through the window. Pulled back the curtain - it was a seagull staring me in the face.
D: That's creepy.
P: It just let out the most sinister [honk]. What are you trying to communicate with me here?
D: [??] seagull honking at you.
P: It was not good.
D: That's an omen if I've ever heard one.
P: That was a slight open.
D: I'm sure this will be fine.
P: It was a lucky seagull.
Truth Bombs
Phil's question: What does Phil dream of at night?
D: Apparently seagulls honking at him on the-
P: It was real! I swear!

- bathing in stolen cereal
P: I would probably have finished the cereal in the dream before I could bathe in it.
D: Can we - can we establish if these are nightmares or good dreams? Like eating my cereal and getting away with it.
P: I think that would be a good dream.
D: That's the kind of person that Phil is.
P: Happens very rarely.

- thirsty plants
D: Oh god, that keeps you up at night.
P: They're way beyond thirsty, guys.
D: They are crispy af. There is no coming back. Like right now, they are in our apartment dying as we sleep. Every day the tour continues the crispier they get. They're going to be dust by the time we get back.

- frolicking in a field of corgis
P: Yes. Now that's what I'm talking about.
D: See, Mykala was nice. Those other two people, they had the opportunity and they were like - roast! But Mykala- there is hope-
P: Gave me the corgis!

Phil's chosen answer: Thirsty houseplants.

Dan's question: What job would Dan have if youtube didn't exist?
D: Whoa. Implying there's an answer to that, right guys? Okay. Let's see what you said.

- a lawyer
D: Oh, really? Really? Oh yeah, lets remind me of the time where I just got some student debt and then quit. Yeah, good times. I am a wonderful role model.

- an axe salesman
P: I don't think they'd allow you back, would they, after you sold an axe to an eight year old.
D: Yes okay just in case anyone didn't instantly laugh remind them that I got fired for selling an axe to an eight year old at Focus. Yes I was a very intelligent teenager.
P: Did they have a stick on mustache, was that it?
[they both do fake 'hello' voices]
D: Look, I thought there was a woman behind him, I was too awkward to do anything, so I let him buy the axe and I got fired.

- a failed poet
D: Jesus Christ. Okay well this has been wonderful-
P: You've got a way with words.
D: I think the closest I'm actually doing now is failing at being poetic.

Dan's chosen answer: Failed poet.

Joint Dan and Phil question: What would a documentary about their lives be called?
D: This is open ended. Right.

- two men, one cereal box
P: It's not a lie, is it? Why don't we just buy more boxes of cereal?
D: Look, when you buy a family pack of Crunchy Nut one person that's like five kilograms one person - it's not even designed for it to be snarfed by one guy.
P: Please do not google that.
D: That's a website. Right.

- don't worry, we're not dead
P: That would be a good one for you.
D: That's my youtube channel, isn't it? It's like, it's been two months, what up remember me? Oh wow I thought they unsubscribed you from dead people's channels.
P: You should get a new banner that just says that and then everyone will be fine.
D: Don't worry, not dead.

- was this a good idea?
P: I feel like I'm gonna be saying that a lot.
D: Literally me right now. I'm not even joking.

Their chosen answer: Two men, one cereal box.
Survey Section
- What would you save from a burning building? “my friends” or “my phone” (10% said phone)
- Do you like audience participation? “Heck yes” or “hell naw” (60% said no, 40% said yes)
- Do you feel like you really know Dan and Phil? “Yes” or “no” or “who are Dan and Phil?” (75% of people said yes, 20% said no, 5% said “who are Dan and Phil?”)
- What is your favorite Dan and Phil video series? “Pinof, ditl, sims, baking, dapc” (20% said pinof, 20% said ditl, 40% said dapc)
- If you had to sacrifice one of us, which would you pick: Dan or Phil? Whoever was chosen gets strapped to the “wheel of death.”
Wholesome Howell and X-Rated Lester

D: We asked you guys to give us words that represent good or bad things, and what we will do now is try to convince you in my case that terrible things are good and in Phil’s case that bad things are the opposite. And this’ll show that if we can do it, well maybe we’re supposed to be these opposite selves. And if we’re terrible, you know, me - the dark depressing Daniel I’m supposed to be and this whole thing is a disaster.

Dan’s first one: memes
(Them realizing that they did it the wrong way round.)
Dan’s actual first one: exams
Phil - deluxe hot chocolates
Dan - stepping on a lego
Phil - world peace
Friendship Test
Psychic Connections round - word: insects:
P: Dragonflies
D: Bees

(Between each round they turn up the power.)

Level Two: Phantastic Phacts
P: Dan, if Phil could have a superpower what would it be?
D: Flight.
P: No! I would want to stop time, because I never have enough time to do anything.

D: Phil, If Dan could live in another country where would he live? Okay, okay… I’m pretty sure this is a conversation we’ve had a few times.
P: We have had this conversation… Canada.
D: Damnit, you’re right!

Level Three: Dan, Phil, or a Rat
This is too dumb, I’m not transcribing it. Phil gets one wrong, then Dan gets one right.

P: The finger is in the red.
D: We practice the show for like two weeks, and then you come on stage and you say so many weird things.

Final Round: Dan and Phil Dilemmas

P: (to Dan) Phil stops stealing your food, but Dan can’t eat chocolate anymore ever.
D: (picks the chocolate)

D: (to Phil) All of your dead houseplants would back to life, but Dan can’t wear black again.
P: I want you to embrace different colors, so I think this would be a good thing.
D: I like that I could never wear black again ever, just for a few houseplants.
Real Conversation Time

What is a moment of your life you would change, and why?
D: I would go back to when I was a sperm and I would just turn left and avoid this whole mess.
P: No you wouldn’t! Really, that is your answer?
D: I’d just slow down. I’d be like, I don’t want to run today, I can’t be bothered. You guys are so eager, you go for it.
P: Well. I think what I would say- I was not expecting you to say-
D: I’m joking, I’m joking. What would you say, Phil?
P: Well, I think definitely like I was saying earlier, I would have changed my hair a lot earlier. I think you would have seen that in like 2017.
D: The timeline that we could be living in.
P: A butterfly flaps its wings, there’s a hurricane in Phil’s forehead.
D: Something like that, you guys.
P: But yeah that’s what I would do.
D: I would actually not choose a law degree. Because the thing is, like, I think there’s another universe where I could have done it but I was just thinking - I have to do a degree that’s like, a sensible thing so I can get a job, and I didn’t think about how that actually had to be my life for three years.
P: I was kind of the same, though. I chose English because all my english teachers were like, yes, this is something you need to do. I really wanted to do media and video editing.
D: If you did that knowing now, you’d be so much better at editing. Okay, I”m not saying he’s bad at editing.
P: That’s why I went back. Because I needed to learn the thing I wanted to learn originally.
D: And that post production masters that gave us miracles like The Basket, and Dan and Phil Crafts. So that’s good - [crowd reacts, assuming that's a drag] no, that’s what I actually (?? say?).
Give me an idea for my final art piece. The theme is: surface.
D: Service-
P: Surface.
D: For service I had an idea. It’s Dan strapped to a giant fan. The fan looks like a wheel. The wheel is spinning. He wants to give service to the fan, and it’s causing him to bleed and die.
P: Wow. That’s like the wheel of death from earlier.
D: Yes. Yes that’s literally what I’m saying.
P: --- oh. I get it now.
D: Are you joking? [in the cutest high pitched voice earlier]
P: Surface. I’m obsessed with space, so I want you to find another solar system out there.
D: Why are you - why do you want to eject our galaxy-
P: No!
D: Is this what you think of -
P: Sometimes I look at those weird websites like, you could go to Mars and you could stay there forever.
D: Phil’s like, sign me up. Bye!
P: Two percent of me is curious.
D: So, okay. Dan strapped to a fan in space. That was helpful!
What advice would you give to someone without irl friends but they’ve got internet friends?
D: Ooh. Wait, does anyone here relate to having more irl friends than internet friends, or do you have more twitter followers than you know people in real life? I mean, I - I have one friend, it’s Phil. They’re saying aw - it’s so sad.
P: I think what I would say is if you do have a hobby, like if watching youtubers is your hobby, if you can and have the means you can go to one of the youtube conventions where there’s loads of people who are all into the same thing. Or tonight - you’re sat in a group-
D: This is literally what’s happening right now. [??] Shiba Inus, tall nerds-
P: And all that would take is saying hey, what’s your twitter handle, we could follow each other or something like that.
D: You’d have more in common than anyone I went to school with for like eight years immediately.
P: I’m just saying, that might be a good one. That’s the thing, when I went to university I was like, I was I’d joined more societies and got to do more things like that because uh, when you’ve got mutual interests with someone, so much more chance you’re gonna be friends with them. Rather than if you’re just shoved into a random university house. So I should have joined film club or something.
D: You should have joined film club and then made whatever - what would you make a movie about?
P: Dunno, some kind of hamster documentary… [crowd reacts] Not a hamster. I’m sorry.
D: I was about to say, but that’s how awesome this community is, it’s so many people they make friends, they know each other and that’s just the greatest thing, and then you ruined it by [??] the hamster fic. I liked that-
P: Yeah!
D: I would say I like that because it gave us the opportunity to connect and gain some perspective on this whole thing.



User avatar
alittledizzy
actual demon phannie
actual demon phannie
Posts: 3407
Joined: Sat Mar 26, 2016 3:09 pm
Pronouns: she/her

Re: Interactive Introverts Fan Submitted Answer Segments (II SPOILERS!)

Post by alittledizzy » Sun Apr 29, 2018 8:29 pm

Brighton Evening Show- 28 April 2018

Intro Banter
P: So. Brighton. We've had an issue with you guys.
D: Right, are you going to go into this right now?
P: Yes!
D: Okay, no, fine, Phil - it's your show, do whatever the hell you want.
P: I'm calling you out for your seagulls. I just had to get it out that normally I'm an animal lover-
D: But not this time, no.
P: We've had-
D: In the last twenty hours, we've both had weird seagull incidents. Before it was just Phil but now we both do.
P: Not one but two seagull incidents.
D: Tell like, the short version of yours, not the whole-
P: The short version of mine: in bed, middle of the night, see a shadow going in front of my bed, was like what is this, is this a creepy person, what's happening, is someone coming to get me? Pull back the curtain - a seagull face! Lets out the most haunting [honk] it was absolutely terrifying.
D: I was under the impression it was like an [shriek]-
P: No it was more like a [tiny voice] let me in! Went to the beach, Dan got a lot of seagulls-
D: I got stalked by one! Okay, it was like, raining - we tried to take beach selfies, disaster. But I was walking along and this thing was like- you know when you're getting chased by a goose and you're like, this is the end?
P: It was worse than a goose.
D: Seagulls - they're thicc.
P: they're like this big.
D: They're not straggly ones, they're like - I eat fish fresh from the sea!
P: Anyway. It either wanted to murder Dan or mate with him, we never figured it out.
D: Euurrrgh, anyway.
Truth Bombs
Phil's question: What animal do they remind you of?
D: What animal does Phil look like?
P: A magestic eagle.
D: That's your opinion. Do you think that's what they're gonna say?

- a mole
P: I can't see anything without my glasses, so I'll go with that.
D: And you literally are an underground pasty mammal.
P: I've never seen sunlight!
D: That's very accurate.

- a seagull
P: Betrayed by the thing you hate the most.
D: It was your seagull patronus in the night.
P: It was!
D: Like tomorrow someone's gonna call you a seagull - [makes a seagull sound] - trying to communicate with you.

- "this horse I saw on holiday"
P: Wow, Becky. Not specifically - just a random horse.
D: This one horse I saw on holiday - Phil, am I right?
P: I'm scared of horses too!

Phil's answer: a mole

Dan's question: What imaginary sport would Dan get a medal in?
- memeing
D: The only skill I've developed in my life, honestly. If everything was to go I'd be like, I can research shibe gifs really quickly?
P: Speed meming. There should be an Olympic category for that.

- sleeping
D: I heard a lot of you going same right there. That is what we call a big mood. But seriously if I could just sleep permanently, that's how I'd prefer to live.

- bursting eardrums playing games
D: When we make a gaming video, I don't set out to scream, okay? It's just that either the game is upsetting or Phil is upsetting.
P: I swear I-
D: This year came around, people were like please Dan my eardrums.
P: Try not to do it!
D: My cats when I'm not using headphones, you're killing all of us.
P: I swear the neighbors have tried to call the police like four times.

Dan's answer: bursting eardrums

D: I think it's only fair that we have one last round where you roast Dan and Phil at the same time.
P: Okay. Should we do this?
D: A Dan and Phil spitroast.
P: Don't ever say that again.

Joint question: how will they die?
D: This is the kind of thing I want my followers thinking about.
P: Probably on stage in the next twenty minutes.
D: When that falls on us because it's the first day, okay. It's a vision, the seagull tried to warn us!

- not enough sunlight
P: I mean that's more a problem for me.
D: I can see that happening. I mean you look like Voldemorte.
P: I do! But does that mean I could cut some body parts off and store them somewhere random and then-
D: Try that.

- hello internet
D: Are you implying that I just watch hello internet and then die?
P: I think that might be.
D: If someone even forced me to think about that video one more time, hashtag I really hope that none of you have done that for the next two hours of this evening, I probably would just explode.
P: You would.

- trip over and somehow die
P: I mean, that-
D: That would be the most accurate thing in the entire - what are the chances that could happen?
P: It is very high.
D: It's not as though there's a series of intimidating triangular obstacles that could cause-
P: I'm trying to learn where they are but I'm not doing well so this time if we're doing the whole thing, who knows.
D: I mean last time you fell off the stage and it was completely flat

Their answer: trip over and somehow die
Survey Section
- What would you save from a burning building?
28% said phone, 72% said friends

- Do you like audience participation?
23% heck yes, 77% hell naw

- Do you feel like you really know Dan and Phil?
68% yes, 23% no, 9% who are dan and phil?

- What is your favorite Dan and Phil video series?
pinof, ditl, sims, (got the most) baking, 5% dapc
Wholesome Howell and X-Rated Lester
D: the apocalypse (Dan gets a point)
P: Pringles (Phil does not get a point)
D: dentists (Dan does not get a point)
P: effective recycling initiatives (Phil does not get a point)
D: brussel sprouts (Dan gets a point)
P: free wifi (Phil gets a point)
Friendship Test
Psychic Connections round - word: cartoon characters
D: Bart Simpson
P: Lisa Simpson

Level Two: Phantastic Phacts
Dan's first question: What shampoo does Phil use?
D: Loreal Vive Color Protect.
P: You're right!
D: Phil's not gonna hide those ginger roots without a bit of a system, safe to say.
P: I need to keep my hair as raven-y as possible.

Phil's question: What cake did Dan make before Colin ate it?
P: What??
D: (Summarizes Colin experience.)
P: I remember the picture but I dont' remember what flavor it is!
D: Come on! Wild guess!
P: It was... chocolate and raspberry?
D: No! It was a vegan caramel pecan praline cake!

Level Three: Dan, Phil, or a Rat
(Phil gets it right, Dan gets it wrong)

Final Round: Dan and Phil Dilemmas


P: Phil isn't allergic to cats anymore, but Dan becomes allergic to cereal. Will you save me and never eat cereal again so I can have a cat?
D: I'm sorry I can't do it, I can't get rid of cereal.

D: Dan gets the power of flight, but Phil can never eat popcorn again. ("I would fly to the shop and bring you any other snack.")
P: I need the popcorn!
Real Conversation Time

How do I know what to take at college and what to do for the rest of my life? I just don't get it.
D: Okay wow that escelated halfway through. Don't want to know what to study, think you could do that the rest of your life - are you trying to set me off right now, hello?
P: I think you just need to try and think about what you're enjoying at school right now and what subjects you like and also what creative things inspire you. It's not all about doing english and maths if that's not what you enjoy.
D: And there's that whole thing if, I should do this degree because I think it'll make me employable and that's what you'll think about. That's why I did law. It was a flop. So I'm a good example of that. But I think it's also important to say that it's not the end of the world - what you do at university isn't the make or break of the whole of your life. Whatever you do with your time, even if you just left and got a job yourself - because time is so quick a lot of people could use university as just an experience to grow as a person. It's as much about doing a degree as it is growing older and making new friends, trying new things and having experience. So I'd say just - don't worry.
P: And I'd say don't worry about the rest of your life so much. Everyone's like what am I gonna do when I'm 48-
D: I need a plan now!
P: I think everyone at every age is always thinking that, so don't think 'oh I don't know what's happening!" Just try to focus on what you enjoy.
D: But do what makes you happy, right? That's the important thing here.
'Reflecting on our career and what we've been up to, is there anything that we would have done differently?'
D: Ooh. Let's see... wow, well, once I made a youtube channel and I was like, what would be a great name... danisnotonfire... that's wonderful...
P: What do you think you would have called yourself?
D: I have no idea. Because the thing is like, back in the day no one used their real names on the internet, you'd be like uhhh I don't want to get my life hacked by giving my name out.
P: Life hack.
D: Too late for that now, isn't it?
P: Yeah.
D: Maybe I wouldn't have been like, I need to tell everybody how much I love llamas.
P: Maybe. What would I change - I reckon I would have started instagram stories a lot earlier. As much as I like twitter, I think with this I'm like 'here's something that is happening!' and it's just - it's just a quick little segment of my life.
D: The problem is, we started doing them on tour (spon for our instagram stories) because we're actually going outside and doing things now. Are you saying that actually day to day in our apartment you would have anything to talk about?
P: Maybe. I mean, I make some pretty great bowls of cereal.
D: I'd be like - here I am in bed. Here I am in bed. Here I am... in bed.
P: Still in bed.
D: Content. Seriously, I wouldn't actually change anything. Because everything in my life no matter how - I'm sure you look back in five years and be like, oh I made so many mistakes. But all the mistakes you make in your life just make you who you are. [audience screaming over him talking] It was worth every placenta reference just to be [more audience screaming].
P: Yeah, I think you should embrace every kind of-
D: Embrace the placentas.
P: The placentas. Cringe things you did in the past.
D: Exactly.
P: Nice.
How do you push yourself to create if you are stuck in a rut?
D: It's easy, I don't. Have you seen my youtube channel?
P: Dan is not the person to ask about that. I... how do you create. I'd say just, if you're fully at a creative block you should just take a break from it for like, two hours. Do something else. Have a chat with someone. Call your mum. Do something different.
D: Have some life experiences until you want to, you know. You'll get that urge when you're inspired, whether it's a painting, a youtube video, a song. Anything like that. You'll know when the time is right. And I don't think you can force it.
P: No, it can't be forced. And sometimes when you take a break you're like, actually go outside and have a walk.
D: Bold idea.
P: Bold idea. Like, a youtube video, I'm like - oh, that's random, where'd that come from, I could have done with that two hours ago.
D: All you need to do is go outside then you get stalked by a seagull or honked at by some weirdos-
P: And there's a video!
D: And there is an AmazingPhil youtube video.
thank you to allsaintshowell for providing the show audio!

User avatar
alittledizzy
actual demon phannie
actual demon phannie
Posts: 3407
Joined: Sat Mar 26, 2016 3:09 pm
Pronouns: she/her

Re: Interactive Introverts Fan Submitted Answer Segments (II SPOILERS!)

Post by alittledizzy » Tue May 01, 2018 1:13 am

Milton Keynes - 30 April 2018

Intro Banter
P: So something I think Milton Keynes needs a few more of... is roundabouts.
D: Yeah.
P: Everyone in the car was just sat on their laptops, and I was just looking out the window with travel sickness like...
D: Phil has really bad car travel sickness, I was like 'Phil how are you doing' and he was just like 'Get me out of this hell.'
P: [??]
D: - it's been thirty seconds, there's not gonna be... ANOTHER ROUNDABOUT. That was a hoot.
P: I feel like I've been through NASA testing, I could be an astronaut.
D: Exactly the same thing.
P: I could not be an astronaut.
D: Well, anyway.
Truth Bombs
Phil's question: What is hidden under Phil's bed?
- Dan's twin Doot (Phil says he's there to keep Phoot company, and Dan asks what Doot and Phoot are doing under the bed.)
- two hundred stress mushrooms
- plant corpses

Phil's chosen answer: plant corpses

Dan's question: What do they dream about at night?
- how he's going to rid the world of color
- surviving the g-note
- timothy chalamet in a rat fursuit

Dan's chosen answer: surviving the g-note

Joint Dan and Phil question: If they were a fragrance, what would it be called?
- trash by dan and phil
- eu du fromage and noir
- musky rats

Their chosen answer: trash
Survey Section
- What would you save from a burning building? “my friends” or “my phone” (20% would save phone, 80% friends)
- Do you like audience participation? “Heck yes” or “hell naw” (60% said heck yes)
- Do you feel like you really know Dan and Phil? “Yes” or “no” or “who are Dan and Phil?” (70% yes)
- What is your favorite Dan and Phil video series? “Pinof, ditl, sims, baking, dapc” (baking is the top one, 15% said dapc)
Wholesome Howell and X-Rated Lester
Dan - falling down the stairs (dan gets a point)
Phil - a pile of golden retriever puppies (phil doesn't get a point)
Dan - free wifi (dan doesn't get a point - he gives up)
Phil - a kiss from grandma (??)
Dan - a room full of hornets (dan doesn't get a point)
Phil - a VIP massage (Phil pretends not to know what a VIP massage is; I think Phil gets a point?)
Friendship Test
Psychic Connections round - word: animals
P: giraffe
D: goat


Level Two: Phantastic Phacts
(D: I'm confident. I'm Phil trash number one, after all.)

Dan's question: What is Phil's first ever instagram post?
D: How the hell would I know that?
P: You should know it!
D: When was that, like... 2010?
P: It was a long time ago.
D: So people used to think instagram - now it's all about selfies, it used to be about photography. So what could you have - you were in Manchester, you took a photo of... Manchester city center.
P: No! I remember, it was a sign that said "Do not feed the alligators."
D: Obviously. Obviously it was that.

Phil's question: What is Dan's favorite Harry Potter film?
P: Harry Potter and the... Half Blood Prince
D: No! It was Order the Phoenix. Phil, you buffoon.
P: What! I could have sworn it was that.
D: Half Blood Prince is my favorite book. Everyone knows Order of the Phoenix was the sloggiest book to get through, but the movie was rad.
P: Oh.

Level Three: Dan, Phil, or a Rat
(Phil gets it right, Dan gets it right)

(D: [after not only guessing it was Phil but guessing the exact picture] Number one, people. Don't come for this title.)

Final Round: Dan and Phil Dilemmas
Dan's dilemma: Phil gets the power of teleportation, but Dan loses two body parts.
D: (Says no, he won't lose two body parts.)

Phil's dilemma: Dan is about to get hit by a bus, but to save him Phil has to miss the new season of Game of Thrones.
P: (Would save Dan. After much whining and protest.)
Real Conversation Time

Should I keep posting animations to youtube even though I rarely have time for it because of my job?
D: Should you be creative even if you don't have time? What do you think? I think the answer is yes.
P: Even if you only posted one every six months, if you've got any-
D: Okay, don't @ me.
P: I'm sorry. But I think it's always important to have a creative outlet, even if you've got work or school or anything like that there should be some time for you. You shouldn't always be thinking about your job.
D: No.
P: Have some time for creating or doing something you want to do, otherwise you won't be happy.
D: Exactly. And you should always do what makes you happy, right guys? Even if your animation takes as long as it takes for me to make a youtube video.
P: Yeah! Like Dan, you can do it every six months and it'll be fine.
D: Right. Truth Bombs is over, Phil, we're having a nice conversation now.
Have you ever felt really out of place in a group of people that are supposed to be your friends?
D: Actually, yeah, I think I have.
P: Have you?
D: Yeah, when I went to secondary school for the first time ever, I had like a few different friend groups throughout the years, and they - my group of friends in the middle when I was like fifteen and they were a group of people that really wanted to be cool. Like, the in betweeners, people who really wanted to try hard to be cool but just weren't at all. And I was like, yeah, this sounds fun, I'm gonna hang out with these people. The friends that I made first in year seven were all the nerds in the school, and they are the people that I still talk to now. So I would say to you - stick with the nerds, because they're the best people, and don't feel like you have to change to be another person. I mean I don't know how much more peer pressure there is now than there was for me but if you're a nerd, embrace it and love yourself. We're two nerds right here.
P: At university a lot of people - especially in my first year, there was this big pressure to go out every night. I don't mind going out a few nights, but like six nights in a row -
D: Phil, you don't like going to a club every day?
P: No!
D: Phil Lester, were you okay?
P: So that was the thing - I just got pressured by everyone to do this when like, I really wanted to spend the night back at home playing some crash bandicoot.
D: Yes. You need at least three intimate nights with Buffy alone in your room.
P: So I kind of wish that I'd just said to them, I think I'm gonna chill out tonight. I don't think they would have cared because everyone likes to do their own thing, they wouldn't have minded. I just felt this pressure to do what everyone else does.
D: But you should do what you want.
How can you try and sleep early without the need to google deep dive?
D: Wow, okay. Yeah. I don't know how many of you know this, but I think - it was the day before the first show but I was awake at one in the morning looking at the biggest plane in the world. Who the hell googles thicc planes in the middle of the night? If you were to ask me, Dan, how did your wikipedia oddssey end up on 'the biggest plane currently being-' I'm not even interested in that!
P: This is terrible advice.
D: I don't know, is the answer, and please save me if you ever find out.
P: I'm pretty terrible as well at this so I don't think I have the answer that'll help you.
D: Come on, what would you say?
P: What I have done is put night shift on my phone, if anyone's got an iphone that's great because that will make your eyes change.
D: Because people are always like - advice, you should always have no screen time an hour before bed, and I"m like - who thinks they could just not look at their phone an hour before bed?
P: No.
D: Complete silence. It doesn't make any sense.
P: But otherwise, you just have to throw your phone across the room and hope for the best.
D: Great advice. [applauds]

Thank you to human for providing the show audio!

User avatar
alittledizzy
actual demon phannie
actual demon phannie
Posts: 3407
Joined: Sat Mar 26, 2016 3:09 pm
Pronouns: she/her

Re: Interactive Introverts Fan Submitted Answer Segments (II SPOILERS!)

Post by alittledizzy » Tue May 01, 2018 10:57 pm

Milton Keynes - 1 May 2018

TRUTH BOMBS
Phil's question: If Phil started a religion, what would it be called?
- smol-ism
- the d-worshippers
(P: Ummm....
D: I don't know what's worse, making that a Dan pun or if it wasn't, to be honest. I think that's much worse-
P: I think that would be worse.)
- the succulent

Phil's chosen answer: smol-ism

Dan's question: What form of torture would make Dan confess everything?
- watching Hello Internet on loop
- being forced to draw on wood with a felt tip pen
- forcing him to wear colorful clothes

Dan's chosen answer: watching Hello Internet on loop

Joint Dan and Phil question: What do they keep secret from each other?
- their wattpad accounts
- other friends
- Dan is secretly a chair

Their chosen answer: other friends
Survey Section
- What would you save from a burning building? “my friends” or “my phone” (65% said phone)
- Do you like audience participation? “Heck yes” or “hell naw” (85% said hell naw)
- Do you feel like you really know Dan and Phil? “Yes” or “no” or “who are Dan and Phil?” (85% said yes, 5% said who are dan and phil)
- What is your favorite Dan and Phil video series? “Pinof, ditl, sims, baking, dapc” (45% like The Sims,
Wholesome Howell and X-Rated Lester
Dan - falling in a volcano
Phil - toast
Dan - dan's black mail romper
Phil - world peace
Dan - Theresa May running through a wheat field
Phil - dogs
Friendship Test
Psychic Connections round - word: chocolate bars
P: Snickers
D: Crunchies

Level Two: Phantastic Phacts
Dan's question: Name one thing Phil got in his ebay mystery box.
D: Does this count? A lot of hair from some woman's floor.
P: That's true! You got it right.

Phil's question: What is Dan's least favorite body part?
D: I have an answer for this.
P: You have an answer? ... an ear!
D: Toes.

Level Three: Dan, Phil, or a Rat
(Phil gets it right, Dan gets it right)

Final Round: Dan and Phil Dilemmas

Dan's dilemma: Dan gets a free house, but seagulls follow Phil everywhere.
D: Are you gonna say that a free house isn't worth it?
P: I don't want seagulls coming after me!
D: Get over it, I have the house.

Phil's dilemma: Phil gets a dog! But Dan has to wear bright clothes forever.
P: But you suit bright clothes! Doesn't he, guys?
D: Not on the inside.
Real Conversation Time

Should I bet a tattooist or a lawyer, because I want to be both.
D: Wow. The answer is obviously both at the same time, are you kidding me?
P: I would love to watch an anime about that. Lawyer by day, tatooist by night...
D: There's probably an anime about that somewhere.
P: There probably is.
D: But what do you think they should actually do?
P: I think it's just about what you want to do, and I can't decide for you. What they want to do the most and it's also - if you kind of want to be a lawyer but also want to do tattoos, can't you just go to a tattoo shop and work there on weekends maybe?
D: I hope you're not following in my footsteps because as we all know, my attempt at being a lawyer was a complete flop! [audience cheers over his talking] The only reason I did that was because - I didn't want to, I just felt like I had to because that would be a job and I should probably do that but it wasn't something I actually cared about. So I would say to you, if you want to be a lawyer then sure, go for it. But if you know you want to be a tattoo artist and you're just thinking you need to be a lawyer I'd say you should do what makes you happy because that's more important.
P: Because five years down the line you don't want to be really unhappy in life because you didn't follow your dreams.
If you could travel anywhere for a month, where would you go?
D: Japan. Obviously.
P: I would love to go back to Japan.
D: It's like England but just better in every single way.
P: I had such a good time there. Also the dog of Japan is a shibe. So...
D: Exactly. [says something the audience talks over] No, Phil, we like pugs now, remember? Gordon chose Gary and we're committed to that.
P: We're committed to Gary now.
D: Is there anywhere else you'd like to go?
P: I've always had this weird obsession with space and I don't know why.
D: [laughing] Phil would spend [??] in space, sure.
P: If I could safely-
D: Safely hop to space for a bit.
P: Safely hop to space for a bit I honestly would. I don't know what that is, is it the need to get away from humanity?
D: I don't know.
P: Or just explore depths of the universe that we don't know about.
D: Well you said earlier that you want to destroy the earth by destroying world peace so you could go into space, so I think this is a dream you should be very scared of. Though if you can't survive the roundabouts to get here I don't know how you'd feel about being in space. I don't want to crush Phil's dreams, but I'm just putting that out there.
P: That's very true. I'd be very ill on re-entry.
People call me cringe at school because I like anime.
D: Uh this is a zero shaming zone. Who here thinks it's okay to be cringe?
[audience screaming] It doesn't matter if you're having a phase where you like llamas and placentas, or you go to a school where people don't like you for watching anime, you like what you like and that's all that matters. Don't pay any attenion
P: When I was at school, there was always a group of people that whenever we were having any type of fun they'd be like like 'Oh that's so lame, that's so lame.' I think those people are a little bit insecure about themselves as well, because-
D: They're afraid to like the things you like. They look at you liking anime, or like whatever it is you like, and being happy for yourself and they get angry because they are too scared to like it themselves.
P: And if you are in a place like that where no one really has the same interest you should go to an anime convention.
D: Make friends on the internet, right guys? [leads into a bit about making friends with each other to the audience]
Thank you to human for providing the show audio!

User avatar
alittledizzy
actual demon phannie
actual demon phannie
Posts: 3407
Joined: Sat Mar 26, 2016 3:09 pm
Pronouns: she/her

Re: Interactive Introverts Fan Submitted Answer Segments (II SPOILERS!)

Post by alittledizzy » Thu May 03, 2018 2:05 am

Nottingham - 2 May 2018

Truth Bombs
Phil's question: What form of torture would make Phil confess everything?

- Sunlight
D: He had to wear SPF 100 just to get brunch in the rain in Nottingham.
- Swearing on camera
P: My grandad still hasn't forgiven me!
D: For like, the thirty seconds of Phil struggling in that video I uploaded there was about four minutes of footage of Phil just going NO! NOO! and I was just going Phil! It's what the people want! So look forward to that.

- Cheese torture
P: What does that involve? Are they pouring the cheese on me or doing something else?
D: I literally do not want to imagine any possible scenario for what cheese torture is, I don't know about you guys.

Phil's chosen answer: cheese torture (because he's experienced the first two)

Dan's question: What is hidden in Dan's browsing history?
D: Are there any cops in the audience? This is just a game.

- how not to be a rat
- lots of tentacles
D: What are - I -
P: Lets not go into that.
D: Inappropriate implications here, I do not like what you're saying about me.
P: Though you do go on wikipedia oddessys about giant octopuses, so.
D: Yeah, but I don't think that's the kind of tentacle adventure Rebecca was insinuating.

- research for his fursuit
P: Nice.
D: Or maybe it's all three at the same time.

Dan's chosen answer: how not to be a rat

Joint Dan and Phil question: how will they die?
- baking
(They agree that it's not a stretch.)
- yoga challenge part two
P: I don't even know how we attempted some of those and didn't die.
D: That last yoga - if you haven't seen it, in the last video I uploaded there was a yoga pose where I had to put my head between Phil's knees.
P: It was a terrible idea.
D: It was like... float horizontally like superman. And we were both like, this makes no sense, I am going to die right now. So that could have been the last video.
P: Who needs a neck?
D: Not me.

- Dan screaming so loud he explodes and kills them both

Their chosen answer: Dan screaming so loud he explodes and kills them both

Survey Section
- What would you save from a burning building? “my friends” or “my phone” (15% said phone)
- Do you like audience participation? “Heck yes” or “hell naw” (51% heck yes)
- Do you feel like you really know Dan and Phil? “Yes” or “no” or “who are Dan and Phil?” (1% said who are Dan and Phil, 34% said no)
- What is your favorite Dan and Phil video series? “Pinof, ditl, sims, baking, dapc” (25% said The Sims, 15% said dapc)

Wholesome Howell and X-Rated Lester
Dan - slow walking people (He says we should cherish it as an act of restraint. No point.)
Phil - winning the lottery (He would buy two helicopters and strap them together and they'd crash because the power went to his head. Point.)
Dan - World War III (Humanity is garbage so the quicker we nuke the people and animals take over, the better. Point.)
Phil - the cha cha slide (True story: Once when he was at school everyone knew it and he didn't and he got laughed at for doing the wrong moves. Point.)
Dan - the placenta (When the miracle of birth happens and you get carried away because everything is good in the world this sloppy mess comes out, something about the goodness of the world and loving yourself and grinding it up into an omelet. Point.)
Phil - helping the elderly (Sometimes grandmas can be creepy. Imagine you're in bed and you wake up and there's a grandma in the corner of the room. Really weird thing about milk. Point.)
Friendship Test
Psychic Connections round - word: memes
P: yeet
D: doge

Level Two: Phantastic Phacts
Dan's question: When did Phil upload his first video?
D: Ever?!
P: Ever.
D: You've had your youtube channel for like twenty eight years, how am I supposed to know that?
P: You can do it!
D: Okay, your first video... your first video... which was [does an impression of 'hello, my name's Phil'] - who misses northern Phil? Give us a little taste of it now.
P: [northern accent] Shut up.
D: Okay thank you. Um, I'm gonna say - I mean, how specific-
P: I want a month and a year.
D: October 2005.
P: Nooooo.
D: Mother- everything's fine. I have self control.
P: It was March 2006.
D: Ugh. Fake fan. Phil trash number what, am I right? Don't get excited, I might be about to get revenge. Let's see what Phil's question is.

Phil's question: What would Dan have been called if he was a girl?
P: Oh-
D: My parents had a very-
P: I swear I knew this!
D: It was in the book, right? Was it in the book, or do you just-
[audience answering yes]
D: Okay - Phil, I mean, you wrote it, you should know. I'm getting nice and ready here, put out that hand.
P: Uhhh. Suki!
D: That's the name of my hamster!
P: What?!
D: No! It was obviously Yazi. How could you not remember that?
P: I knew it was something unusual.
D: Yazi Howell. My parents were- you really thought it was the name of my hamster? What is wrong with you.
P: That was really bad.


Level Three: Dan, Phil, or a Rat
(Phil gets it wrong, Dan gets it right.)

Final Round: Dan and Phil Dilemmas

Dan's dilemma: Dan gets a frickin' dog, but he has to push Phil down a large set of stairs.
D: Oi. Right. How large is the set of stairs? I'm just asking.
P: Large.
D: How good is this dog, is it like my dream dog-
P: It's your dream dog.
D: My dream dog.
P: But what about me? I might break my legs?
D: You're pretty bouncy.
P: What are you gonna dO?
D: Should I do it? I would get the dog, I don't care!

Phil's dilemma: Phil gets the lead roll in a movie, but he has to push Dan into a moth enclosure.
D: What the hell is a moth enclosure?
P: I don't know. It sounds like something horrible from a superhero origin story.
D: Who would want to enclose moths anywhere? That's disturbing.
P: Well you pushed me down the stairs so I'm getting the role in a movie.
D: Fine. You get that role in a movie.
Real Conversation Time

Do you have any advice for new youtubers?
D: Ooh, okay. Who here has ever considered becoming a youtuber themselves?
P: Anyone?
D: Right, as you know, I have done a lot of things that I regret so I am a great person to ask this question. But in all seriousness, I'd just say: you have to do what you like. Don't just start youtube because you want the channel to be successful, because I mean - Phil - he was making Basket videos-
P: I was.
D: - for years before anybody watched. He was doing what he loved, and that is why he's still doing it today.
P: It is. And I [pause for audience to cheer] I made videos for I'd say two years before I even got a hundred subscribers.
D: Exactly.
P: So I'd say, yeah, don't do it rushing into like - I want all these subscribers, I want loads of people watching. If one person has watched your videos-
D: That is valid.
P: That's one person that you've changed the life of, really.
D: That's one person that you've made smile, and that is important.
P: Yep. So that's one piece of advice.
D: So just think about what your hobbies are, what your interests are, what passion do you have that you want to share with the world? That's what you should do.
P: That's what you should do. Also, make sure you can hear yourself or people can hear you. Because I see a lot of new youtubers, they make a video and the microphone quality is really low down or you can't hear them. So maybe upload it on unlisted first just so you can check that everyone can hear you. That's my technical advice.
D: Phil hitting us with the editing tips. Wow, thank you, Phil.
What do you argue about, Dan and Phil? Any advice for settling an argument with someone else?
D: Ooh. That's something that would be good for us to know right now, after what just happened.
P: It would. I'd say we argue a lot about food.
D: Yes.
P: I may have a cereal stealing problem.
D: We're not gonna get into that right now. That is a well trodden ground that they all know. We actually argue a lot about mess, because Phil is a really messy person.
P: I'm not messy!
D: Phil is a horrendously messy person. It's just like, I'm sitting down - rogue sock. I'm making some cereal - rogue sock. Well, there we go. I'm opening my own sock draw - it's a green sock. Okay.
P: It's the sock goblins, it's not me.
D: It's the Phil. So I'd say we have a lot of petty domestic arguments every thirty minutes about how messy Phil is. That's the tea, right there.
P: That's a creative mind.
D: That's your excuse is it? Okay. Lets see how long I can last until I snap.
P: Any advice for settling an argument?
D: No.
P: No.
D: [pause for audience laughter] You go on, Phil.
P: Just try and find some common ground and just think: would it make the situation better if you just stepped back and thought, maybe I'll just apologize even though-
D: Phil has never apologized for leaving socks around the house.
P: Dan, Dan.
D: You're making a point, you're making a point.
P: I'm sorry for leaving a green sock in your drawer.
D: Awwwww. Are you sorry for the 400kg of Crunchy Nut that you've appropriated over- we'll get there, guys! It's a friendship in progress. [cheering] I think if you are good friends, you're not gonna fall out over something stupid. You can argue with someone and when you've both just calmed down after half an hour you have to be good enough to be like, well that was weird how we shouted at each other about Crunchy Nut half an hour ago, haha. Yeah And that's just how it works.
P: Yeah. Maybe instead of saying something you'll regret, maybe just step away. Say lets just step away for half an hour and then we'll have a chat about it.
Have either of you ever broken a bone? I broke my finger.
P: I broke my hand - this hand -
D: This very hand?
P: This hand. In a piggyback ride which went wrong?
D: Were you the pig or the rider?
P: Who is the pig? I was the rider of the pig. And they were running too fast and I fell onto the road.
D: The moral of the story is don't have fun.
P: I had to go to the hospital and explain that I did it in a piggyback race.
D: And did you get - was the nurse just like, mmk, okay, this a great use of my time.
P: They actually said it was normally a boxing injury and I was like yeah, totally boxing, yeah.
D: Just like, punchin' a dude and then I broke my hand. Mine's even lamer than that. I have only ever broken my little finger.
P: Awww.
D: Wait for it - and I did it by going down a water slide.
P: The least dangerous activity.
D: I was just - I was literally, I was just going down a water slide and you know you get a bit of air sometimes when you go over a bump? I literally did that and I just hit my own finger with my butt and I broke my bone. I broke my own little finger with my own butt.
P: Well done.
D: That's how impressive I am.
Thanks to agingphangirl for providing the audio!

User avatar
alittledizzy
actual demon phannie
actual demon phannie
Posts: 3407
Joined: Sat Mar 26, 2016 3:09 pm
Pronouns: she/her

Re: Interactive Introverts Fan Submitted Answer Segments (II SPOILERS!)

Post by alittledizzy » Sat May 05, 2018 1:25 am

London - 4 May 2018

Truth Bombs
Phil's question: What form of torture would make Phil confess everything?
- a slow full body cheese massage
P: Oh god. I mean I know some people like cheese but that's too far.
D: You've got some hard, crusty cheeses that would
P: Don't say crusty! Do they just rub it into my body?
D: That was like a legitimate answer to that question. Let's add hard, crusty cheeses to that list of banned phrases.
P: Imagine the smell.
D: There's something about it being a slow one that makes that really upsetting as well.
P: Let's just get that Parmesan into the back of your neck.
D: Right in the neck folds.
P: Neck folds? [offended]

- being in the middle of the sea with a swimming horse
P: See, lots of people love horses but they totally creep me out.
D: You're horsephobic.
P: What are their legs doing! They're so long and unpredictable!
D: You don't like being in the sea, just imagine just being next to a horse like, alright lad. How you doing? That is terrifying.

- a room full of dog hair but no dog
P: All the allergies but none of the love.
D: Wow. That's truly terrifying. You should work for the CIA.

Phil's chosen answer: full body cheese massage

Dan's question: What is hidden in Dan's browsing history?
- am I a furry?
D: I appreciate the quote marks around it. I'm on wikihow like, give me the answers, I don't know how I am.

- how to poison cereal
P: Look.
D: Ya'll know I be googling that.
P: It's not my fault, I'm a hungry lad.
D: Okay but when you buy a family sized 5kg box of Crunchy Nut, it's not expected to be gone overnight, but here we are. Phil has talent, people.
P: You just need to get better at hiding it.
D: That's the problem isn't it.

- Winnie the Pooh fanfics
P: What. I don't want to know.
D: Decimate my entire childhood, Jasmin. 'It was a steamy day in the Hundred Acre Woods...'
P: It'd be called The Pooh Fic.... I should leave now, I'm sorry.
D: This show has been going on for ten minutes and Phil's said the phrase 'the pooh fic.' This list of phrases, it's gonna be good by the end.

Dan's chosen answer: how to poison cereal

Joint Dan and Phil question: How will they die?
- going to the gym once
P: Molly. You know us too well.
D: Wow, okay. You're not holding back.
P: I did a squat earlier!
D: You did two squats. That was a personal record.
P: I'm gonna have glutes now.
D: You're gonna have glutes?
P: Yeah.
D: Phil stop or you're gonna rip through those jeans.

- probably on the sofa
D: I'm gonna be one of those people who just does twenty for hours on the internet solid, forgets to drink. There we go, whoops dead. That could happen at any moment. Stay hydrated, people.
P: The sofa crease is just gonna get so deep you're gonna slip into another dimension.
D: And I'll just crust into it.
P: Stop saying crust!

- revenge of the undead houseplants
P: I mean, they're pretty crispy by now.
D: I don't know if you saw Phil's last video, but that succulent - he dead. Trust me, that is one crispy dude, there is no coming back from that.
P: I wouldn't blame them if they just attack us.
D: Every second that we are on tour they are just dying slowly in our apartment right now. Moment of silence for all the houseplants.

Their chosen answer: going to the gym once
What's in Dan's box?
- piece of phil's hair
P: That's creepy!
D: What the hell. A single piece of Phil's hair is in a locked box under my bed.
P: Wow.
D: That's weird. But okay.

- fursuit
D: It's the sloth bear fursuit, okay thank you.

- dildo dil doll
D: It is a DOLL of our Sim, DIL.
P: Yes.
D: To clarify.
P: That's what it is.
D: It is a Dil Howlter doll.
P: Yeah. That's what it is. So. So it's basically a doll, is what we're saying.
D: A doll. Okay yeah, that's better. Get that fricking ball back right now.

Survey Section
- What would you save from a burning building? “my friends” or “my phone” (13% said phone)
- Do you like audience participation? “Heck yes” or “hell naw” (45% yes, 55% no)
- Do you feel like you really know Dan and Phil? “Yes” or “no” or “who are Dan and Phil?” (1% said who are dan and phil, 39% said no)
D: Why don't they feel like they know you, Phil? Why are you so shady? Tell us your secrets.
P: Well, it's you that has got a secret box of my hair under your bed.
D: Apparently, and a dildoll.
P: Dil. Doll.
- What is your favorite Dan and Phil video series? “Pinof, ditl, sims, baking, dapc” (40% said baking, 5% said dapc)

Wholesome Howell and X-Rated Lester
Dan - spoilers (Spoilers are amazing because sometimes going through emotions is hard, being surprised when your favorite characters die because going through emotions is hard, it's very emotional, there should be no surprises in life, we should be totally emotionally so that one day if I was like- "Phil, I don't feel so-"
P: NO. (talking over audience) Stop it.
D: Too soon?
P: Too soon.
D: You know I specifically hate spoilers. Just putting that out there.

Phil - free wifi (The FBI watch you through your webcam if you use hotel wifi.)
Dan - the noise of felt pen on wood (if you cringe really hard you get abs)
Phil - baby hedgehogs (they are so cute you want to eat them and then it spikes the inside of your mouth and also if there are too many they will crush you)
Dan - apocalypse (The end can not come soon enough.)
Phil - infinite money (Too much money gives people too much power, same answer as before about having too many planes and strapping them together.)
Friendship Test
Psychic Connections round - word: school supplies
P: paper clips
D: pencils

D: Phil trash number one. Don't feel like I'm gonna get any of these wrong, just saying. Phil, I feel like I got this one in the bag.

Level Two: Phantastic Phacts
Dan's question: What is Phil's least favorite household chore?
D: Implying that you've ever done one in your entire life, are you kidding me?
P: Hey! I've done a chore!
D: Do you have any idea what it's like living with Phil? It's like hey, where's the rogue sock gonna be today.
P: Hey, I'm just keeping you on your toes. Because it's a sock. And it'll keep your toes warm.
D: I have to deal with the mess and puns like that on a daily basis.

Dan's answer: I'm gonna say - vaccuuming.
P: No!
D: Ahh, what! What are you on about, what is it!
P: It's cleaning the bathroom.
D: Oh you - fine, lets do this.

Phil's question: What does Dan replace alcohol with in Internet Support Group 10?
P: Oh, god! It's uh - green tea!
D: Give Phil the ding, he gets the point. How did you know?
P: Because I watched the video! I'm a good - I'm a good follower of your channel.

Level Three: Dan, Phil, or a Rat
(Both of them got it wrong.)

Final Round: Dan and Phil Dilemmas

Dan's dilemma: Phil is about to trip down a mineshaft, but to catch him you have to drop your laptop.
D: How deep is this mineshaft?
P: I dunno. Mineshafts are deep.
D: Before anyone here judges me, you're the ones that half of you said you'd save your phone from a burning building. I remember that. I don't want any shame here.
P: What would you do?
D: My laptop has everything on it.
P: [squeaky voice] Mineshaft!
D: I would... throw my laptop down for you. [audience cheering over whatever he says next]

Phil's dilemma: You are no longer allergic to dog hair, but Dan can never pet a dog again.
D: What kind of twisted mind could even write something like that?
P: I mean... that's too hard.
D: I can - I'm ready. Get your hand out. I know I'll never pet a dog again.
P: But you could do it vicariously through me. You'd get pleasure from watching me pet a dog.
D: Make your choice.
P: I want to be not allergic to the dog.
D: No! Bad Phil! Bad Phil!
Real Conversation Time

Any advice for starting a youtube channel? Also what should I call it?
D: Not kateisnotonfire.
P: AmazingKate?
D: Yes - to be fair, that's acc- Your name was good, your name worked out, wasn't it?
P: Yeah, alphabetically it worked out well.
D: We all know that's the only reason you called yourself AmazingPhil. Alphabetical priority, not because he's amazing. He wanted to be at the top of the search results. Okay, so advice for a youtube channel. I mean, what's the beginning there?
P: I'd say the beginning of a youtube channel is - I think a lot of people get into it now striving to get a million views or a million subscribers, but I think you should get into it for reasons of wanting to be creative.
D: Because - when you started, you didn't think it would turn into anything. I mean how many years did you do it-
P: I did it for about two years and it took me that long to get a hundred subscribers.
D: Why did you keep doing it?
P: Well I just did it because it was something that I enjoyed and it was a hobby that I wanted to do, I was never thinking - ooh I want to get to that number, or-
D: I think that shows Phil... Phil does it for the love.
P: Aww.
D: Aww.
P: I'd say that's a good attitude to have.
D: In life, generally.
P: And for videos you want to make, I'd say just make something you want to see.
D: Exactly. Follow your passion, don't look at ohter people and think that's what's good. Think about what you want to talk about, what are you passionate about in life, what are your talents, how do you want to express yourself and put yourself out there into the world and that's what you should do because at the end of the day it should be about making yourself happy.
P: Yeah. That was nice.
D: That came out more sincere than I meant it to.
P: Who are you and where is Dan?
D: Oh my god, Wholesome Howell is leaking. Please don't hit us with the X-Rated Lester.
I'm starting a new college. What if I make no friends?
P: I think that's always a fear if you start a new like, new thing.
D: New anything, university, sixth form.
P: Move to a new place. But think of it as a new college, everyone's starting at the same time. Or if you're just arriving, first of all you're a new person which everyone finds quite exciting.
D: It's an opportunity to completely rebrand yourself. Don't take that lightly.
P: That's the thing, I wouldn't say rebrand yourself because then after two weeks everyone's gonna realize you're pretending to be someone else.
D: Oh yeah, I mean use it as an opportunity to make sure that you are being the person you know you want to be straight off the bat. Just think: I know I want to be like this person, I'm gonna introduce myself to the person not that I had to be in my old school, my old town, but like this new person.
P: I also think that first week is like the golden week to chat to as many people as possible. So if you sit next to someone just be like, hi I'm [girl who asked the question's name] how's it going? And then the people that you're talking to will be like oh the new person's talking to me, this is nice.
D: Because everyone's just as socially awkward as each other. I mean that's the thing - put up your hand if you think you're a socially awkward person. Exactly! Oh my god, we're all looking at each other like, we're so awkward. We're the same.
P: We're all the same. So I hope that goes well, and good luck with the new college.
There's this guy I like, but I'm too scared to talk to him because I'm socially awkward and I make vine jokes. What can I do to not be cringy?
P: I'd say first of all, the guy's not worth it if he doesn't like vine jokes.
D: Exactly.
P: So I'd say make your vine jokes, if he's not into it then he's not worth bothering with.
D: Turn around and walk out the door. Right guys? Just walk up to someone, crack your favorite vine reference, and if they get it - soulmates, there you go.
P: There you go. So I hope that's good for you. Good luck with the love life, Rebecca.
D: Phil with the dating advice. Well done.
Thank you to human for providing the show audio!

User avatar
alittledizzy
actual demon phannie
actual demon phannie
Posts: 3407
Joined: Sat Mar 26, 2016 3:09 pm
Pronouns: she/her

Re: Interactive Introverts Fan Submitted Answer Segments (II SPOILERS!)

Post by alittledizzy » Mon May 07, 2018 12:32 am

Glasgow - 6 May 2018

Truth Bombs
Phil's question: What form of torture would make Phil confess everything?
P: I'm not very resiliant.
D: You're not, are you. If someone just like, didn't give you a coffee for two hours you'd be like, 'I'll tell you everything!' So this should be easy.

- a slow full body cheese massage
- being in the middle of the sea with a swimming horse
- a room full of dog hair but no dogs

Phil's chosen answer: slow full body cheese massage

Dan's question: What is hidden in Dan's browsing history?
- am i a furry??
P: I was wondering what that fluffy thing that came in the post was.

- how to poison cereal
P: You wouldn't!
D: That's not even a joke. You can't even count how many times I've googled that. Phil, it's not normal - when someone buys a six kg family box of Crunchy Nut, one person isn't supposed to go through it in a single day.
P: I have a problem! You should hide it better.
D: Oh yeah, that's it, the issue is that I'm not hiding it better.
- Winnie the Pooh fanfics

Dan's chosen answer: poison cereal

Joint Dan and Phil question: How will they die?
- going to the gym once
- probably on the sofa
- revenge of the undead houseplants

Their chosen answer: going to the gym once
What's in Dan's Box?
- fursuit
- fruit bowl
- Theresa May
Survey Section
- What would you save from a burning building? “my friends” or “my phone” (30% said phone)
- Do you like audience participation? “Heck yes” or “hell naw” (55% no, 45% yes)
- Do you feel like you really know Dan and Phil? “Yes” or “no” or “who are Dan and Phil?” (39% said no, 1% who are dan and phil)
- What is your favorite Dan and Phil video series? “Pinof, ditl, sims, baking, dapc” (40% said baking, 5% dapc)
Wholesome Howell and X-Rated Lester
Dan - spoilers
Phil - free wifi
Dan - the noise of felt pen on wood
Phil - baby hedgehogs
Dan - the apocalypse
Phil - infinite money
Friendship Test
Psychic Connections round - word: School supplies
P: staplers
D: protractor


Level Two: Phantastic Phacts
Dan's question: What is Phil's least favorite chore?
D: Implying that you've ever done one in your entire life.
P: Hey!
D: Do you know what it's like living with Phil? It's like, where's the rogue sock going to appear today? Oh it's been on my head for four hours.
P: I'm just keeping you on your toes. Literally.
D: I should shock you just for-

Dan's answer: Vacuuming. (Wrong. Phil says: cleaning the toilet.)

Phil's question: What does Dan replace alcohol with in Internet Support Group 10?
P: Ooh!
D: You don't want to be a fake fan.
P: I watched this one! It was green tea!
D: Damnit yes!
P: Yay, I remembe!
D: Nerd. Who watches my videos?
Phil's answer:

Level Three: Dan, Phil, or a Rat


Final Round: Dan and Phil Dilemmas

Dan's dilemma: Phil falls down a mineshaft, Dan has to drop his laptop to save him.

Phil's dilemma: Phil is no longer allergic to dog hair, but Dan can never pet a dog again.
Real Conversation Time

What is something you have never tried before that you'd like to have a go at?
D: Try new things, as lessamazingphil would say.
P: Something for me, I heard that's popular in Scotland is a deep fried Mars Bars.
D: Okay, is this actually a thing?
[audience screams yes]
D: And is it good?
[audience screams yes[
D: Phil.
P: It does sound good.
D: We got big plans after the show tonight. We may need to take a day off tomorrow to process it, I don't know.
P: Yeah I heard there's deep fried Mars Bars and also deep fried ice cream.
D: Can I deep fry Phil? That would just - that would solve a lot of my problems, and be cultural at the same time.
P: Apart from that, it sounds stupid but - it's not gonna happen - I would love to go to space.
D: Okay wow like, we're talking about like sampling Mars Bars and Phil's like, I wanna go to space.
P: If I could have anything! It's just because I have had this obsession with space since I was a kid, and if I could have a safe trip to the moon-
D: A safe trip to the moon.
P: I would do it.
D: A casual like, train to the moon.
P: Yeah.
D: Why do you want to escape earth so much, Phil?
P: I don't know. Do we need to analyze that?
D: Let's go into this.
P: Maybe in like fifty years we'll be able to go to the moon, though. And I'll be seventy just on my space ship. Looking at the planets.
D: Can you imagine what a weird eccentric old man Phil is gonna be? Seriously, he's gonna be like 'I put myself in a robot body, just 'cause!'"
P: For real, I would transfer my consciousness into a robot.
D: Okay I feel like we answered this question. Let's not just completely go off the edge of the stage.
Do a Scottish accent.
P: That's too offensive!
D: What we were watching the other day was David Tennant in Broadchurch, and - yeah, do you watch Broadchurch? If you don't know, there's a story of this child called Danny that goes missing, and what happens is he walks into the room and he goes [Scottish accent], "Danny Latimer!" I only know two words of David Tennant because he is the most sexual being in the universe. That's important brain space, I need nothing else.
P: I feel like that's such a stereotypical thing though, the way people do the accent. [Scottish accent] "Ah Danny, can we get some Irn Bru?"
D: Was that okay? Was that acceptable?
P: I'm sorry! A few people are giving me angry glares.
D: We're going to get chased out of here.
How do I stop worrying what people think of me?
P: I think what you need to think is - something it took me a while to realize - is everyone has got so much going on in their own heads that they're probably not thinking too much about you. So like if you've got a stain on your shirt or something, people probably aren't even going to notice because they're too busy thinking oh god I've got homework, did I let the dog out-
D: It's like two seconds of that person's day. The other thing is like, you in your own head-
P: In your bubble.
D: Are thinking of you is like 100% of the time but to other people it's just a little thing. Like if you're on twitter for some celebrity drama you're like wow, really, juicy, anyway, my whole day. You just need to think all people do is care about it for like two seconds and then everyone's just worrying about their own problems, and if you look at every other person and think, everybody's going through things, people've got problems, things that we're stressed about, things we don't want other people to know about, you'll probably feel a lot more relaxed. Because we're all in this horrible world together until the meteor comes.
P: Yaaay. [audience cheers] I'd also say just try not to think and worry about what people think, just try and be yourself and not worry about it.
D: Aw, good advice Phil, thank you.
Thanks to cannot-decide-on-a-fandom for providing the show audio!

User avatar
alittledizzy
actual demon phannie
actual demon phannie
Posts: 3407
Joined: Sat Mar 26, 2016 3:09 pm
Pronouns: she/her

Re: Interactive Introverts Fan Submitted Answer Segments (II SPOILERS!)

Post by alittledizzy » Tue May 08, 2018 1:46 am

Sheffield - 7 May 2018

Truth Bombs
Phil's question: What imaginary sport (D: I actually spat out of excitement) would Phil get a medal in?
P: Sport?
D: Okay, this is a fantasy question.

- ass bottle flipping
P: Wow. I did[n't?] do that in a video, didn't I?
D: No one wanted to remember that.
P: No.
D: That was really a disturbing moment for all of us, but you tried and that's a bronze.
P: I saw a slow motion gif of that on tumblr and was like, what I am doing with my life?
D: And these are the people that made that.
P: Thank you.

- 100 metre gleeking
P: Watch out anyone in the front row.
D: If you don't know, explain gleeking in case anybody here hasn't been disturbed yet.
P: I think I'm a descendant of a cobra, sometimes when I yawn just a big spray comes out of nowhere.
D: That's - so all of you here, you're in the splash zone, seriously.
P: Look out.

- the sport of houseplant killing
P: My children!
D: How is Loki the Cactus doing, Phil?
P: [mumbles something]
D: He's one crispy dude right now. Every day that we spend on tour, the houseplants are just getting more and more dead back home in our apartment.

Phil's chosen answer: houseplant killing

Dan's question: What does Dan dream about at night?
- Evan Peters feeding him Maltesers
P: Fanning you at the same time with a giant leaf.
D: I'm lying sideways on like, what was it, a futon or something? And I'm describing this too well, it hasn't happened, it's a joke.

- having a social life
P: Oh. Burn.
D: Really? This soon into the show, you're gonna do me like that?

- finding the will to live?
P: This is savage.
D: Literally me, right now. You can see straight through my soul.

Dan's chosen answer: Evan Peters feeding him Maltesers

Joint Dan and Phil question: If Dan and Phil released a fragrance, what would it be called?
D: That's the one thing we planned that didn't work.
P: I think it'd be nice, I smell nice today.
D: Don't ask me to sniff your-
P: I'm not gonna-
D: Okay good, thankfully we're not gonna go that low.

- eu de marker pen
P: All that sharpie fumes just in our system.
D: You get so dizzy and then do weird crap like what we've got on youtube for the last ten years.

- the amazing scent is not on fire
D: 2015 Dan and Phil need their bad ideas back. We had such incredible creativity, I'm sure you all agree.
P: We did.
D: So inspired.
P: I know!
D: I mean we did this book and then we called the tour the same thing, because why not just reuse an idea, right guys?
P: Why not?

- the essence of rat

Their chosen answer: the essence of rat
What's in Dan's Box?
- Dan's cereal
- Nick Jonas fanfiction
- a cardboard cutout of Matt Bellamy from Muse

D: Do I unfold the cardboard cutout of Matt Bellamy from Muse while reading Nick Jonas fanfiction?
Survey Section
- What would you save from a burning building? “my friends” or “my phone” (30% said phone)
- Do you like audience participation? “Heck yes” or “hell naw” (majority said hell naw but it was close)
- Do you feel like you really know Dan and Phil? “Yes” or “no” or “who are Dan and Phil?” (39% no, 1% said who are dan and phil)
- What is your favorite Dan and Phil video series? “Pinof, ditl, sims, baking, dapc” (35% baking, 5% crafts)
Wholesome Howell and X-Rated Lester
Dan - no wifi
Phil - Brenden Urie's voice
Dan - jumping into a volcano
Phil - pizza
Dan - killing your best friend (talks about phil stealing his cereal)
Phil - world peace
Friendship Test
Psychic Connections round - word:
P: giraffes
D: hippos


Level Two: Phantastic Phacts
Dan's question: What was Phil's first job?
D: Your first job?
P: First ever job.
D: I feel like you've only had one real job.
P: Go on, what is it?
D: Okay, but is - I dunno - are you gonna cheat me?
P: I'm not gonna cheat you!
D: It was working at WH Smith.
P: No!
D: What! Yes it was!
P: I actually had my own professional dog walking service.
D: Oh, shut up!
P: When I was seven.
D: I knew he'd say something like that.
P: I put fliers on everyone's doors and I walked about three dogs at a time, it was so much.
D: Wow really? I mean did you like, sniff the dogs, did you eat their fur, is that why you're allergic to dogs now?
P: I didn't do anything like tha- maybe.
D: Well, I didn't know that. Fake fan.

Phil's question: What month did Dan change his youtube name?
D: Oh, Phil -
P: I don't even know what year!
D: Well, gimme - gimme a month and a year. Put out your hand, here we go lads.
P: I think it was a while ago, I'm gonna say - November 2017.
D: What?! No. It was May the first. It was very recently the first year anniversary of the death of danisnotonfire.

Level Three: Dan, Phil, or a Rat
(Phil gets it right, Dan gets it wrong)

Final Round: Dan and Phil Dilemmas

Dan's dilemma: Dan gets to live an extra ten years but Phil gets bitten by snakes.
P: Dan.
D: I mean, okay.
P: Snakes are poisonous!
D: Right. Right. Ten years is a lot of time, okay. And it didn't specify how poisonous the snakes are.
P: It's not just one snake! It's a group of snakes!
D: But if we put you in like a hospital and someone was ready and they were like, release the snakes and like nibble nibble and like inject you, I think that would be a fair trade.
P: What? Are you taking it?
D: I don't care, I would totally - [gets shocked, screams, kicks the bench]

Phil's dilemma: Phil no longer gets travel sick, but Dan can no longer watch anime.
D: But that's how I vicariously live!
P: I know, but what you could do is just - have me describe it to you.
D: That would be awful.
P: I could do it.
D: Have you watched any gaming video with Phil?
P: Haru's eyes were glinting as he climbed out of the pool- I could do it.
D: Okay. You don't want Phil to narrate your fanfiction, that's what we just learned there.
Real Conversation Time
I want to start a youtube channel, but I think i will fail. What do I do?
P: I don't think you should think you're gonna fail before you even start.
D: No, believe in yourself.
P: I think the first thing is that you've got the idea to start it, so if it's something you want to creatively do, totally go for it.
D: Don't base your success on anything you want to do in life, especially if it's anything creative, on how much other people appreciate it. Whether you're a storyteller or an artist or you want to be a youtuber, if you care about something and you want to put it out there do it for you first. Don't expect other people to be like, I love this. If it makes you happy and it's what you want to do, that's all that matters. I mean look at Phil, he was making videos like The Basket for years before people started subscribing.
P: I was! I had about two years before I even got a hundred subscribers, I was just making it because it was a hobby and what I wanted to do. I think a lot of people get into youtube thinking ooh I want to get a million views or I want to get a million subscribers, but I don't think you should go into it with that kind of mentality.
D: So if Phil with his lizard head can do it, you can do it too, and that's the lesson we're sending here tonight.
What should I expect when going to university? Any hints?
D: Well I'm maybe not the best person to ask. I mean, I survived the first year, that was fine.
P: You did!
D: I think the scary thing is- [audiences cheering] I mean, thank you. There was an attempt. A lot of people, they're really scared about university because for some people it's their first time leaving the house properly and being independent. So I'm gonna say right now, ya'll need to learn to do laundry and to do something that isn't just burning pasta okay.
P: Without water.
D: Because yeah the first week of university I didn't know you had to put water in a pan with pasta and I just burned a lot of pasta putting-
P: That is a fact.
D: - in a pan and setting it on fire. You'll be okay. But there's the whole social side to it as well.
P: I'd say the first week or two is a brilliant time to make new friends, it's a cliche thing but everyone is in the same boat together-
D: Everyone's an introvert! Everybody's socially awkward! You just need to go up to someone and be like, "I am as scared as you." and you'll make a friend.
P: And I got some advice actually that was, when you're moving in just to leave your door open and have some haribo and then when someone's walking in you can be like hey, do you want some haribo, and also my name's Phil.
D: Starting friendships with bribery.
P: Unless you're not called Phil.
What would you go back in time and change about your life?
D: I would go back to when I was thirteen and I was signing up to youtube and then I typed in the username field 'danisnotonfire'-
P: Nooo! That made you who you are today!
D: It did. If I didn't go through all of that - you know, the trauma is an important part of my personality right now so honestly despite everything that's gone horribly horribly wrong I wouldn't change it for the world because I'm here with you. I mean like, some of the memes could have gone. But most of them it's fine.
P: It is. And I think in recent times I might have started instagram stories a bit quicker.
D: Oh yeah. Except Phil, you didn't start it before because we don't go outside. Our life isn't very interesting.
P: Just eating Dan's cereal for the nineteenth time.
D: That would literally be the content.

Thanks to agingphangirl for providing the audio!

User avatar
alittledizzy
actual demon phannie
actual demon phannie
Posts: 3407
Joined: Sat Mar 26, 2016 3:09 pm
Pronouns: she/her

Re: Interactive Introverts Fan Submitted Answer Segments (II SPOILERS!)

Post by alittledizzy » Thu May 10, 2018 3:35 am

Newcastle - 8 May 2018

No audio.

(Got some? Send it my way!)

User avatar
alittledizzy
actual demon phannie
actual demon phannie
Posts: 3407
Joined: Sat Mar 26, 2016 3:09 pm
Pronouns: she/her

Re: Interactive Introverts Fan Submitted Answer Segments (II SPOILERS!)

Post by alittledizzy » Thu May 10, 2018 3:36 am

Newcastle - 9 May 2018

Truth Bombs
Phil's question: What does Phil dream about at night?
- corgi massage
P: That doesn't sound so bad. Are they massaging me with the corgi?
D: Or is it like a giant bipedal corgi going [mimes massage] I don't know - is that a nightmare or is that still good?
P: I'd be up for both to be honest.
D: Exfoliate your pores?
P: Yeah.
D: I'd much prefer someone just straps eighty corgis together and rubs them on your face. I mean, who would enjoy that here?

- Dan riding his unicorn.
P: Unicorn?
D: I said I would turn up to an awards show on a unicorn with angel wings and a cape and obviously that scared you so much you had nightmares about it.
P: It was a huge nightmare [??].

- Being murdered by his dead houseplants.
D: Too soon, Emily.
P: It's gonna be like the walking dead when we go home. They're just gonna attack me for leaving them.
D: The Walking Dead Succulents. How is Loki the Cactus doing right now, Phil?
P: He's just gone a holiday to the farm. [singing]
D: He dead af. Seriously. It's gonna be a wasteland.

Phil's chosen answer: houseplants
D: It's funny because Phil genuinely feels bad.
P: I do! My babies!

Dan's question: What is hidden in Dan's browsing history?

- How to poison cereal?
D: That's not even a joke. I have like twelve wikihow tabs explaining exactly how I do that. Because you have a problem.
P: I have a problem!
D: When you buy a five kg family pack of Crunchy Nut it's not expected to be gone overnight.
P: You just need to hide it more, Danny.
D: That's not - you feel that's the problem in this situation, that I'm not - Lets not do this now.

- some kinky octopus videos
P: What - I don't want to know. I really don't want to know.
D: Thanks. You think so highly of me. Is it like, anthropomorphic octopi?
P: Maybe. Like furries or something.
D: Don't get my suckers in a twist.
P: Stop. Next one is-

- furry stuff on deviantart
D: Just furry stuff.
P: Just furry things.
D: If it's on Deviant Art it's just gonna be Sonic the Hedgehog stuff. The eight years olds - we all know it's true, you're eight, it's all really disturbing - [??] - that's all that website is for.

Dan's chosen answer: how to poison cereal

P: I can feel the negative energy.
D: I don't think the negative energy wants you to touch it like that.

Joint Dan and Phil question: how will they die?

- demonetization
D: What every youtuber cries about in bed at night.
P: It's your mouth on the gaming channel! That's why we get demonetized.
D: Okay I feel like it's you, Mr. Feel the Negative Energy, who is gonna say something, yeah exactly. You know L'Oreal doesn't want to put an advert next to that creepy hand.
P: Alright, alright.

- being exposed to Newcastle for too long
D: I don't know what you're saying about your own town there, but we nearly got murdered by the sharp incline so that is very true.
P: Newcastle's actually really beautiful.
D: It is! No one told me that you guys like, had culture. I [??] come from Reading, which is a dump[?] and you have like actual stone buildings and stuff so.
P: Ten out of ten bridge.
D: He just gave you a ten out of ten.
P: Love me a bridge.

- doing exercise more than thirty seconds
D: Okay, okay, thank you, ha ha.
P: That's true. Dan was on the floor of Wilkinson's like, this is my last breath.
D: [pretending to be gasping/dying] Tell my subscribers ---- they bullied me so much and I hate them. No, I'm just kidding, that won't be my final words.

Their chosen answer: doing exercise
What's in Dan's Box?
- your mum
P: Is she okay?
D: I am keeping Phil's mum in this box - hello?
P: Kathryn!
D: Kath? Oh, she's dead. One of Phil's houseplants. She is not okay right now.

- elephant
D: An elephant?! What the hell is wrong with you people? This is a very high concept box. I've got a TARDIS, people, this is not a joke.

- dan's secret glasses
D: Why do I have secret glasses?
P: I don't know what you do with them, but I'm intrigued!
D: Is this a reference to some horrible fanfiction that I don't know about? What am I doing with Phil's mum, some secret glasses, and an elephant?
Survey Section
- What would you save from a burning building? “my friends” or “my phone” (15% said phone)
- Do you like audience participation? “Heck yes” or “hell naw” (45% no)
- Do you feel like you really know Dan and Phil? “Yes” or “no” or “who are Dan and Phil?” (1% who are dan and phil, 1% no)
- What is your favorite Dan and Phil video series? “Pinof, ditl, sims, baking, dapc” (25% pinof, a fifth like dapc)
Wholesome Howell and X-Rated Lester
Dan - dentists (pain kink)
Phil - adopting all the homeless puppies (drowning in puppies)
Dan - cannibalism (the world has two problems: world hunger and overpopulation. two birds with one stone! lots of people need to eat, we eat each other D: Phil is nibbling on my arm... I don't feel so good. P: STOP IT.)
Phil - a day of watching netflix
Dan - weird fanfiction

D: You know when you've got like a bad habit and you want to give something up and you just need something to convince you that it's terrible, well there is a subject for every kind of fanfiction - so you want to be a vegan but you just can't give up that dairy, then you go to wattpad and you say 'what's this milk fic about...'
P: That was too much for everyone.
D: Did I cross a line?
P: You crossed all the lines.
D: Okay. I'm sorry.
P: The lines are gone.
D: That should have just been what we did for the not milk challenge...
P: Oh my god.
D: I meant reading it, okay.

Phil - world peace
Friendship Test
Psychic Connections round - word: hair products
P: shampoo [?]
D: hairspray


Level Two: Phantastic Phacts
Dan's question: What was the exact date that Phil changed his hairstyle?
D: What?! The exact date?
P: Yeah.
D: I mean, when - what is your changing your hairstyle - is it the first time you ever looked in the mirror and went 'I actually have a forehead.'
P: When I quiffed-
D: Because that might be a private moment I wasn't there for.
P: Maybe.
D: When you posted that photo of you in the silver polo shirt-
P: Yes.
D: When was that. It was before pigeon fest.
P: It was before pigeon fest.
D: Sorry about that. I am gonna say it was... March the 16th.
P: No!
D: That was way too hard.
P: I think it was March the 20th but I'm not sure. I just thought it would be funny to zap you.

Phil's question: What is Dan's favorite drink from Starbucks?
P: Dan's favorite drink-
D: In 2018. Yes, they know Dan and Phil day in the life of Manchester, what did Phil order - tastes change okay.
P: What do you like, what would you have-
D: I'm just getting ready to do this, stick your hand out, make your decision-
P: I think you would choose a matcha tea frappe.
D: What, no, it's a cappucino! Bad friend, bad. Wow sorry I was talking to you like a dog then.
P: That was a tingly one.
D: Don't say tingle like you enjoyed it.

P: Cappucino is so boring, what's wrong with you.
D: Uh okay we're not all sugar sugar sugar, just shove sugar down my face, like Lester.
P: Your mum.

Level Three: Dan, Phil, or a Rat
(Phil gets it right, Dan doesn't)

Final Round: Dan and Phil Dilemmas

Dan's dilemma: Phil gets to travel through time, but Dan goes bald.
P: Come on, i want to be the next Doctor!
D: Firstly, you'd just completely ruin everything.
P: I wouldn't!
D: Secondly, you all still turned up when Phil got rid of his fringe, but would you still turn up if Phil was completely bald? [audience cheers yes] You say that, but I just don't know if it's completely true. How much do you want do you want to go back in time?
P: I'll go back in time, then I'll check the euromillions numbers and I'll share it with everyone.
D: This - that is what he would do with the power to travel through time. Phil, you are irresponsible person, screw it, no.

Phil's dilemma: Dan gets to be in Avengers 4, but Phil can no longer eat cereal.
P: What? Are you kidding? I love cereal too much.
D: Phil, I get to be in Avengers 4.
P: You'd ruin it!
D: I get to be within sniffing distance of Tom Holland.
P: I don't care. No-
D: You need a cereal detox.
P: That was a fizzy one.
D: Okay well I hope this isn't like a Dan and his dentist thing and you're taking this seriously.
Real Conversation Time

Does school ever end?
D: [??] people in like, American dream schools where they go to those dream schools and everything's like perfect and then you go to an english school and you're like oh my god what a dump.
P: My school was terrible, someone had scraped every swear single word into all of the lockets.
D: That's so impressive. Every single one? Commitment.
P: Every single one.
D: But Phil, does it ever end?
P: Well it does end, actually! Before you know it, it's gonna be over - and if that's a good thing or a bad thing it's something that is gonna come to an end faster than you know.
D: Exactly. And the thing is, there'll become a time when you get like, ejected out of your house and then suddenly you're expected to know how to pay taxes and you're like, oh my god give me double science back. So look forward to that. But again, we've probably forgotten the endless pain of having to go to school with a bunch of people we hate.
P: Yes.
D: So who knows, man.
P: That is the thing. But also I'd say towards the end of school it does get better. Especially when I went-
D: The later it gets, the better it gets, that is true.
P: I didn't like year Nine that much.
D: Did you like years one through ten?
P: It was better when I got to ten, eleven. But then especially when I got to sixth form college it was like-
D: Woo, A-Levels! It's so much harder, isn't it?
P: It's harder-
D: And then you go to university and then you take law and you drop out. It's really fun.
P: Yeah. But each one is its own little pocket, just remember the time is not gonna last forever. If you're not enjoying it, know there is a light at the end of the tunnel.
D: There is a light at the end of the tunnel. It won't last forever, and you can always make your life whatever you want it to be so just stick with it!
Dan and Phil, what is the most embarrassing situation you've ever been in?
D: Oh, this is fun, thanks. I love having casual conversations.
P: It'll make these guys feel better.
D: Lovely topic.
P: I had one moment on a train where the train was fully full and the only seat available was next to a sleeping woman.
D: Surprise.
P: And I was like oh, this is fine. I'm just gonna sit next to her and try not to wake her up. It's a free seat. I sat down, and she started stroking my leg.
D: Oh my god not this.
P: This is really weird, what's happening. Then she looked at me and then screamed, because she thought I was her boyfriend who had just gone to the toilet.
D: [actually cackling]
P: So then he saw me and was like, 'what you doing with my girl' and I was like 'I'm sorry I didn't know!'
D: Oh my god.
P: It was so embarrassing.
D: That is such a Phil situation to get in.
P: So I just got up and ran and sat next to the toilet for three hours.
D: I mean people always say, how does Phil come up with ideas for his videos? He just goes outside and stuff like this happens, okay. He's a weirdo magnet.
P: What about you?
D: Oh I'm glad that I'm being asked this. I do have one very specific answer for this one, which is when I was sixteen my school went on a strip - uh, a strip, no - a school trip to Switzerland and we went to a water park and it was like, Europe's fastest log flume ride you go down. I went down it so fast and because it was like this weird thing where in Europe you're not allowed to wear board shorts, you have to wear speedos, it's really weird it's like everyone's just wearing their boxers. So I was just wearing a pair of button up boxers and turned around backwards and what happened is as I was going down the slide so fast they unbuttoned and fell off. So I - I don't know if you've been on the [name of slide?] but I shot out slide and skidded about a hundred meters past about three hundred people and then realized I was completely naked.
P: Oh god. Their poor eyes.
D: Thankfully there weren't that many people from my school there, but I traumatized a lot of innocent Swiss people and I don't think I can ever go back there. So that's my answer to that one, thanks for bringing it up!
P: So you got banned from a country.
D: Basically.
My youtube channel only has ten views.
D: That's not a bad thing!
P: That's not a bad thing. That's ten people who have seen your videos. Ten people who you might have changed their perspective on the world.
D: Change their life by watching it. I mean, this is the whole thing - how long did you make youtube videos for when you had no subscribers?
P: I made youtube videos for two years before I even got a hundred subscribers. I had eleven views on some of those videos.
D: And did that turn you off, Phil? Why did you keep doing it?
P: Just because it was something I enjoyed. I think if you enjoy it, keep doing it for you and not just looking for the next amount of views because that should come along in time as well if that's something you want to do.
D: All that matters is following something you're passionate about, so whether it's being a youtube, playing an instrument, literally anything in your life don't judge your success based on how many other people care just do something because you enjoy doing it and it makes you happy. Because that's what Phil did, and look where he is now!
Thanks to outphan and phanitup for providing show audio!

User avatar
alittledizzy
actual demon phannie
actual demon phannie
Posts: 3407
Joined: Sat Mar 26, 2016 3:09 pm
Pronouns: she/her

Re: Interactive Introverts Fan Submitted Answer Segments (II SPOILERS!)

Post by alittledizzy » Sat May 12, 2018 7:46 pm

Edinburgh matinee - 12 May 2018

Truth Bombs
Phil's question: What is hidden in Phil's browsing history?
- elderly people twerking
P: That was research. I wanted to improve my twerk. And elderly people have it the best way.
D: You're making it worse.

- how to throw a houseplant funeral
P: I'm trying so hard to keep them alive!
[joke about Loki the cactus]

- how do I stop being an emo
P: Johnny, too soon!
D: Who here feels victimized by the gnote that happened earlier? I'm sorry. You can all suffer alng with Phil.

Phil's chosen answer: houseplants

Dan's question: What is hiding under Dan's bed?
- the real Dan locked in a box
P: Doot!
D: Oh my god. It happened when the hair changed. Curly haired Dan is just a clone. Ever since then I was just like, the world needs less emos. So that's not the real Phil, either. After Phil got rid of the fringe this is-
P: I am Phoot.
D: That is Phoot right there.

- sexy anime pillows
D: Don't cheer for that. Who do you think I am, okay? Look, I have one, okay. I resent the plural that is being applied here, fine.
P: They're falling out from under your bed, Dan.

- furries anonymous magazines
P: I like these ones.
D: I love that there's enough furries for there to be a furries anonymous magazine. Like, they create content just for people who are shamed into not admitting they're furries.
P: That's because you're president of the magazine.
D: Okay, thank you.

Dan's chosen answer: sexy anime pillows

Joint Dan and Phil question: If they released a fragrance, what would it be called?
- memes and dreams
D: What does a meme smell like? Which meme?
P: I don't know.
D: What does Pepe smell like? Not good. Don't think so. What does the shibe smell like?
P: Beautiful. I think that sums us up very well.
D: What do Phil's dreams smell like? Don't want to know.
P: No one needs to know.

- the scenternet is here
P: Oh, I like a good pun.
D: Where are you? Got out. Leave immediately.
P: Wrong show.

- dirty rat musk
P: Not just rat musk. Dirty rat musk.
D: Well, do you agree, it's gotta be-
P: I agree.

Their chosen answer: rat musk? i think?
What's in Dan's Box?
- placenta
- cereal he is hiding from phil
- dog
Wholesome Howell and X-Rated Lester
Dan - spiders (tarantulas are like mobile hamsters)
Phil - a thousand puppies (what if you were in a really tiny room, drowning in puppies)
Dan - a tornado (something about wanting to see the sun so the building needs to be destroyed)
Phil - free wifi (fbi is watching)
Dan - the end of the world (humans are the worst thing about earth, "team meteor. smack me daddy.")
Phil - living forever (what if dinosaurs come back and a t-rex eats your face off)
Friendship Test
Psychic Connections round - word: school supplies
P: fountain pens
D: protractor


Level Two: Phantastic Phacts
Dan's question: Name one thing Phil got you for Christmas last year.
P: Come on! Something! You don't remember the presents?
D: Wow, you must have really left an impression. Oh my god, what the hell did you get me.
P: I think you're gonna get zapped. You have three seconds to say something.
D: Some tangfastics. Oh my, mother- crap- I just kicked the bench.
P: Mother crap?
D: Yes mother crap. And what, what did you get me?
P: I got you Planet Earth on bluray. I mean- Blue World II.
D: Aw, you did. Wow, bad friend detected.

Phil's question: What was Dan's first ever instagram post?
P: What? I don't know!
D: You don't know? Fake fan.
P: It was...
D: Put your hand out, make a guess.
P: A selfie?
D: It was a picture of my brand new 3DS.

Level Three: Dan, Phil, or a Rat
(Phil gets it right, Dan gets it right)

Final Round: Dan and Phil Dilemmas

Dan's dilemma: Phil is being attacked by a scorpion but to save him you have to watch Hello Internet a hundred times.
D: Noooo. No. No. No. Okay, oh god, oh man.
P: Dan! The scorpion is traveling up my leg!
D: Bitch, get stung. No, that's not my official answer, right, um. Oh god. How big is the scorpion? Is it like-
P: This big.
D: Nooo. Oh my god. I would actually-
P: You gonna do it?
D: If it was you actually getting stung by a scorpion, I would have the actual worst day of my life but I would do that for you, yes.
P: Thank you.
D: I actually thought about that and it was very stressful.
P: I could totally wrestle a scorpion.
D: Could you? What would you be doing?
P: Thumbs in the eyes. Foot in the stinger.
D: Get your foot away from that scorpion's butt.

Phil's dilemma: Dan has been kidnapped, but you have to eat an entire block of Stilton cheese to save him.
P: No I hate Stilton cheese so much!
D: What kind of weird perv is gonna be like - I've got Dan. But you have to film yourself eating cheese if you want him to live.
P: But Dan I think you could-
D: I'm getting ready, right.
P: I feel like you'd be good at getting out of some kind of situation like that.
D: Are you serious? It's just-
P: So - I just can't-
D: People like it.
P: I'm sorry I can't do it!
D: Bad Phil! [buzzes]
Real Conversation Time
Our first one came from Carly, who is starting university and wanted to know what to do and also they're a bit scared about it.
D: Well, you know, I survived one year.
P: Well done.
D: I did okay. Maybe not the best- Phil, handle this one.
P: It depends on what you're scared of. If you're scared of the socializing aspect-
D: Probably.
P: I'd say when you're moving in, the first thing you should do is talk to as many people as possible. Because in that first two or three weeks, everyone is in the same boat. Everyone is scared of meeting people. So if you're just like, hi! I'm Carly, I'm doing... the dinosaur physics, or whatever you're doing-
D: Yes! I love dinosaur physics. Here's what I chose.
P: Then they're just gonna be like, oh this is a friendly person that wants to get to know me. Also I got some advice that was, if you're living in like a dorm or halls or whatever, if you leave your door open the whole time and get a big bucket of Haribo there, when someone's moving in you can be like hi, I'm Carly-
D: What are you saying, bribe your friends with sweets? Okay, I mean that's the only way that Phil operates. If you don't give him a fizzy crocodile once a day, he just won't get up. So that's why that's the only way he can do this tour.
P: Give me some Haribo, best friend for life.
D: But it's also an opportunity for a new start. A lot of people, when they go to their secondary school or college, they feel like they've kept all the baggage from them in their lives and if you go to university or just move out or get a job somewhere, it's always an opportunity to think hey, now that I'm in a new place, I'm gonna be the person that I always want to be. Which is kind of like me stopping danisnotonfire. That name had to go. It had to go.
P: Had to go.
D: Don't cheer for it!
What is your greatest fear?
P: I mean-
D: Watching Hello Internet a hundred times. [laughing] I'm not even joking.
P: I don't know why I'm so fearful of horses. They're just like, animals. But I think it's their hooves are so unpredictable. Just imagine waking up with a horse in your bedroom.
D: I mean, that would be weird-
P: Exactly!
D: I would be scared if that happened.
P: Just a glinting eye, just looking at you, and a little wink.
D: Okay, Phil, the good vs evil thing is over, but that is very disturbing definitely.
P: I think that - I don't have a full phobia of them, though. I'm just a bit like - ugh.
D: Do you know what mind is? It's like, manmade objects underwater, and touching them because they'll be slimy. That's very specific.
P: What is, that is so weird-
D: Imagine it's like a buoy and it's floating and you're swimming in the sea and you go up to it and your foot touches a slimy chain [barfing noise] yeah that's it for me.
P: I don't know why-
D: Spiders, death, meteors, being eaten by dinosaurs-
P: The deep ocean.
D: No, no, I can be in like a tiny paddling pool, but if there's a slimy chain I'll start crying.
Advice for starting a youtube channel, advice because they don't want to just have ten subscribers the whole time.
D: What to make videos about... well I mean ten subscribers the whole time- you had not many subscribers and you still made-
P: It was about two years, it took me two years before I got a hundred subscribers. Which was-
D: A lot of people, they start it like - I'm not getting many subscribers, I want to stop. You kept doing it for so long with nobody watching. So what's that about, Phil?
P: I just did it because it was a hobby and something I was enjoying. It wasn't all about getting views or getting subscribers.
D: You were doing it because it made you happy.
P: Yes!
D: Exactly. Everybody, if you want to express yourself in any way, like a youtube channel or a blog or drawing stuff, whatever, just do what you want to do. Don't look at anything else and think I want to be like that because it's popular. Just think what are you passionate about, what kind of art do you want to make, how do you want to be creative, do you have something to say, and however it pleases you and makes you happy that's what you should put on the internet. Because that's what Phil did and look where he's at now!
P: So good luck on the youtube channel, dinosaur physics sounds like a good topic.
D: And don't touch slimy chains.
Thanks to susan2 and cannot-decide-on-a-fandom for providing show audio!

User avatar
alittledizzy
actual demon phannie
actual demon phannie
Posts: 3407
Joined: Sat Mar 26, 2016 3:09 pm
Pronouns: she/her

Re: Interactive Introverts Fan Submitted Answer Segments (II SPOILERS!)

Post by alittledizzy » Mon May 14, 2018 12:36 am

Edinburgh Evening Show - 12 May 2018

Truth Bombs
Phil's question: what job would Phil have if youtube didn't exist?
- being the literal sun
D: Awww.
P: Erica, you're on my Christmas list.
D: If you were the Teletubbies, that'd be really weird.
P: It would, I'd ruin that show.
D: We think that would be nice, but imagine instead of a baby [makes sounds like the sun in Teletubbies] Phil going, hey guys. It'd be a bit weird, it'd be a bit weird.
P: [??]

- one of those people that puts lids on toothpaste
P: That's an easy job!
D: I wouldn't trust giving Phil a lot of responsibility. So that seems appropriate, but also - so is our oral hygeine and I don't know if I trust Phil with that.
P: I'd probably put them on backwards and get toothpaste all over my face.
D: That would be a dangerous job. Thank god youtube exists.

- houseplant murderer
P: That is a cross I have to bear.
D: What sick freaks want that. Hey can you - on craigslist like, can you come over to my house and [??] murder my cactus.
P: No!
D: There's a clinic in Sweden that will-
P: Stop, fine, okay.

Phil's chosen answer: houseplants

Dan's question: What imaginary sport would Dan get a medal in?
- fallng off chairs
P: Yes. How many times have you fallen off chairs?
D: Like five. Oh my god. One day I'm gonna die.
P: You are.
D: It's gonna be like, on the gaming channel it'll be RIP Dan For Real.
P: I'm gonna put that on your gravestone. Fell off a chair.
D: No matter how I die, put that on my gravestone.

- [??]
D: Wow okay don't come for me too hard.
P: This is a perfect [??]
D: It is. Like Phil and being shy on the floor, I'm gonna have a little crisis on that bench and I'll see you all in an hour and a half.

- hurdling over responsibilities
D: Wow, okay, so they're not going easy on me, that's fine.

Dan's chosen answer: falling off chairs

Joint Dan and Phil question: what is a more accurate name for this stage show?
- why did we do this?
D: Literally me right now. Okay, that's fine, very true.

- we couldn't be bothered so we asked you to input things
D: That's basically it. We were like, we convince them it's all about connecting and interacting, and we just have to stand there while-
P: While they do the show. This is you!
D: Litreally the best idea. Thanks, none of you get paid for this.

- The Lady Door Tour
P: That was another name I wanted to call it.
D: Okay, Phil for a moment - we were coming up with names for this tour, we were like, I was like this, I was like this, and then Phil went - wait. Howsabout we call it The Lady Door Tour. And I looked at him and I was like, are you even joking.
P: It was a good idea!
D: And I gave him that death glare of like, are you even for a microsecond on any level actually suggesting that. And Phil was like, no, it was a joke. Was it?
P: No. [moves on quickly]

Their chosen answer: we couldn't be bothered
What's in Dan's Box?
- his amazingphil shrine
D: My amazingphil shrine. I've got some hair, some scented candles-
P: I was wondering what that smell was.
D: It's beautiful, trust me.

- the stretchy mushroom
D: That is something I wish I could forget.
(reminiscing about the mushroom breaking)

- the key to Phil's lady door
D: What the hell is wrong with you people?
Wholesome Howell and X-Rated Lester
Dan - broken fingers (would stop Phil eating his cereal)
Phil - Nutella (drowning in Nutella)
Dan - Dan's old videos (cringing gives you abs)
Phil - the internet (FBI watching)
Dan - being buried alive (buried away from people you don't want to talk to)
Phil - world peace (You couldn't go to space)
Friendship Test
Psychic Connections round - word: chocolate bars
P: bounty
D: crunchy


Level Two: Phantastic Phacts
Dan's question: What are the names of Phil's hamsters?
(Dan answered Phoebie and Norris)

Phil's question: Name five reasons's why Dan's a fail
(selling an axe to a 12 year old, panic alarm, procrastination - can't name five)

Level Three: Dan, Phil, or a Rat
(Phil gets it wrong, Dan gets it wrong)

Final Round: Dan and Phil Dilemmas

Dan's dilemma: Phil is being dangled above a volcano, to save him Dan has to watch Hello Internet for 24 hours.
(Dan refuses.)

Phil's dilemma: Dan no longer has existential crises, but Phil can never eat cereal again.
(Phil refuses)
Real Conversation Time

(If you have audio of this segment of the show, please get in touch with me!)


Thanks to cannot-decide-on-a-fandom for providing show audio!

User avatar
alittledizzy
actual demon phannie
actual demon phannie
Posts: 3407
Joined: Sat Mar 26, 2016 3:09 pm
Pronouns: she/her

Re: Interactive Introverts Fan Submitted Answer Segments (II SPOILERS!)

Post by alittledizzy » Mon May 14, 2018 12:36 am

Liverpool Matinee - 13 May 2018

Truth Bombs
Phil's question: What imaginary sport would Phil get a medal in?
- eating Dan's cereal
D: Too soon, Mia. Too soon always.
P: I could do that in a sporty way, like while going over some hurdles or something.
D: Yeah I mean like it's probably not the eating it, it's the hiding and putting the empty box back in the cupboard and lying about it, that's what your talent is, Phil.
P: Hey, they're roasting me, not you.
D: Imagine waking up in the morning, you're really hungry, you open the cupboard, you see a box of Crunchy Nut. You shake it - powder comes out. Who leaves the box in the cupboard? Monster.

- the quickest time to kill a houseplant
P: Don't remind me, Hannah!
D: Phil has got gold in that.
(normal Loki the cactus joke)

- trying their best
P: Aw, that's a nice one, kind of!
D: I feel like that's more of a roast than a compliment, Phil.

Phil's chosen answer: houseplants

Dan's question: what is hidden in Dan's browsing history?
- how to find your fursona
D: Really? You're going straight there, thank you.
P: It could be one of those quizzes that tells you which personality traits-
D: Which [???] am I?

- Winnie the Pooh fanfic
D: Whose childhood just got destroyed in that incident?
P: Would that be... The Pooh Fic?
D: Ew. No.

- how to reply to Nick Jonas to meet up but I'm on holiday
D: Really?
P: Hey buddy, you in Liverpool?
D: SHUT UP. Imagine. Ugh. Yeah, the wound is still open, thanks for bringing tha tup.

Dan's chosen answer: Winnie the Pooh fanfic

Joint Dan and Phil question: What would a documentary about their lives be called?
- a life in the life of Dan and Phil
P: That sounds quite poetic. A life in the life.
D: We are actually that unoriginal when it comes to naming things. You know like when you're like - aw, we should come up with a good name-
P: No.
D: We did like, day in the life, week in the life... life in the life of Dan and Phil.

- the rat and the bean

- how I stalked my daddy
P: Wow.
D: Okay. Do we even need to ask-

Their chosen answer: the daddy one
What's in Dan's Box?
- black hole
- secret cereal
- a dog
Wholesome Howell and X-Rated Lester
Dan - cold chicken nugs (some of the best pizza is yesterdays pizza, why stop at pizza)
Phil - shirtless Brendon Urie (Any time an image is so beautiful that it burns your eyes and it's cursed [??] you can't think about anything else anymore and then you die.)
Dan - neck touching (cringe so hard you get abs)
Phil - saving kittens from trees (kittens are plotting to take over the world)
Dan - going outside (fresh air, see the world)
Phil - millions of puppies (drowning in puppies)
Friendship Test
Psychic Connections round - word: cereal
P: Frosted Wheats
D: Shreddies

Level Two: Phantastic Phacts
Dan's question: What's the question Phil got wrong the weakest link?
D: We all know that Phil was on the Weakest Link, right?
P: Terrible memories;
D: He got to the final! But you lost because the stupidest thing ever happened.
P: Do you remember the question?
D: I can honestly never forget this - Anne Robinson asked you what animal that is farmed for its wool has the first two letters the same?
P: Ohh you knew it!
D: The answer being... llama.
P: I heard it wrong, I thought she said no two letters are the same so I said gnu.

Phil's question: What year did Dan drop out of law school?
P: I think it was... 2009.
D: What? No! Drop out!
P: Oh, drop out!
D: 2011 you turnip!
P: I was thinking when you started!

Level Three: Dan, Phil, or a Rat
(Phil gets it wrong, Dan gets it right)

Final Round: Dan and Phil Dilemmas

Dan's dilemma: Phil's houseplants will never die, but you can never wear black again.
D: What, no! You've crossed the line.
P: My houseplants!
D: I can never wear black again?
P: Be a colorful dude.
D: That means I'm gonna be literally naked.
P: Or just wear colors.
D: I would rather get arrested for streaking.
P: Are you not gonna do it then?
D: Okay, how much do you need your houseplants?
P: I need them!
D: You can't water them like everyone else?
P: They make me happy, Dan.
D: I feel like this is your problem. Screw it, no.

Phil's dilemma: Any celebrity you want will move in with you but Dan has to move out.
D: Any celebrity you want will move in with you- wow. Who would you pick?
P: I just, I don't know.
D: Of anyone in the world - all of the Avengers at the same time.
P: All of the Avengers at the same time.
D: That would be good. Okay. And then Captain America would go to pour some cereal, and then there'd be nothing there, and Thor would be like 'You look kind of sick this morning.' and be like 'Phil, I don't feel so good-"
P: Stop! Stop. No. Bad Dan.
D: But in order for any celebrity to live with you, Dan would have to move out.
P: I think i'd be too awkward for a celebrity living in my house.
D: It's me or Steve. Come on, you have to make a decision.
P: Dan. I would choose to live with you.
Real Conversation Time

Dan, do you regret not being a lawyer today?
D: That's a good one - imagine the alternate future, Dan the lawyer. Can you see it?
Phil and also audience: [shout no]
D: I would be totally [??] - imagine me walking into a courtroom like okay, he wants the electric chair and so do I, lets do this. I don't know - like, part of me thinks I chose it for a reason, because I was good at it. But I just found studying at university really hard and not what I wanted to do with my time, because making youtube videos is what made me happy. So whilst I think sometimes like, I wonder would I be a good lawyer, if that would be be fun, how would my life be different - I think that now being able to do something creative that I enjoy and having other people say hey those things you put on the internet brighten up my day, I don't think I should trade that for anything.
P: Aww. [audience also awws]
D: [fake retches]
P: I would quite like to watch an anime of lawyer Dan. That would be funny.
Where do you get your creativity from, because I'm trying to make youtube videos and I need some ideas.
D: Well I guess that depends on what kind of content you make. If you're talking about Phil, where does Phil get all of his ideas from? Because it seems like every time he uploads, a crazy thing happened today.
P: Well that's the thing, it's just relatable things from my life, and that's why I like talking about. But Astrid, it depends on what you want to make videos about. What makes you happy, what are you inspired by, what would you want to see on youtube yourself that isn't there yet.
D: I mean it helps that for Phil everything crazy just happens to him constantly.
P: It does, people who hang out with me are like surely this - and then they hang out with me and they're like, ohh.
D: I can't believe a ladybird tried to make out with you. It happened.
P: Yeah. So that's the thing. But I'd say don't worry about it too much, if you've got mental block on ideas I think it's pointless just sitting in front of a blank piece of paper like 'come on, ideas.' Do something different, like talk to someone about it, draw some stuff out, even go outside.
D: Phil, that's crazy, that's going too far, that is not good advice for anybody.
P: And also weirdly I think of lots of ideas in the shower. Don't know what that's about, but - there we go.
D: Give it a scrub and you'll get inspired.
What are your thoughts on humans moving to new planets in the future?
D: Bloody hell, that got deep. Wow, Phil, this is a topic you've thought about.
P: As a kid, I was always obsessed with space. I was just obsessed with space, I wanted to go to space, I wanted to leave earth, I wanted to travel to mars. There was always a part of me that was like, if I could safely go into space-
D: If you could safely go into space-
P: I would totally do it.
D: On a space bicycle or something.
P: Yes. And what are your thoughts on humans leaving earth, Dan?
D: I mean if the humans could just leave the earth and leave it to the animals I think the earth would be improved. I don't know about you guys, anyone agree with me? I think the worst thing about earth is humanity. I am just on Team Giant Meteor, the quicker it can come and we can just-
P: Dan!
D: -leave earth, the better.
Thanks to phantoplankton for providing show audio!

User avatar
alittledizzy
actual demon phannie
actual demon phannie
Posts: 3407
Joined: Sat Mar 26, 2016 3:09 pm
Pronouns: she/her

Re: Interactive Introverts Fan Submitted Answer Segments (II SPOILERS!)

Post by alittledizzy » Mon May 14, 2018 12:36 am

Liverpool Evening Show - 13 May 2018

Truth Bombs
Phil's question: What is hidden under Phil's bed?
- dead houseplants
D: Straight off the bat in there with the dead succulents.
P: Too soon.
D: Is it too soon when they're constantly dying?
P: They're like my children.
D: And your children are dead, I don't know what to say. Worst daddy ever, honestly.

- an ilegally shipped cabybara
P: Have you ever seen a capybara? They're like giant guinea pigs.
D: I feel like this isn't even wrong.
P: It's not!
D: This is the kind of thing you do, you're like 'oh Dan, I've done something bad, can I tell you?' and then you'd bring out this freaking [??] guinea pig.
P: I'd totally ride around on it through London.
D: He needs to be stopped, doesn't he.

- the masks he wears to cover his true lizard face
P: I am totally not a secret lizard.
D: Look, people say this a lot, but that would explain a lot about Phil's behavior, wouldn't it. Do you ever feel like Phil is what would happen if an alien came to earth and pretended to be a human?
P: Wow, thanks.
D: Yes, I know how humans act, I laugh like this [laughs] and when I stand I stand like that.
P: Dan.
D: Right.
P: I'm hurt.

Phil's chosen answer: houseplants

Dan's question: Come up with a slogan for Dan's youtube channel.
- look forward to five videos a year
D: Yep. I mean, is that even a roast. That's just a fact isn't it.
P: Very true.
D: Fair enough. My youtube channel is deader than Phil's houseplants.

- ravioli ravioli give me the death I deserve ravioli
D: Give me the death I deservioli.
P: That's even better!
D: We call that a 'big mood.' At me next time.

- phil is my dad.
P: That's the slogan of your youtube channel.
D: That's the slogan for my whole youtube channel. Hey, welcome to danisnotonfire, Phil is my dad. Okay, so - as we've established, if that were true I'd be dead right now.

Dan's chosen answer: five videos a year

Joint Dan and Phil question: How will they die?
- probably just tripping down the stairs
P: Honestly I was climbing up to the top of there where you guys are sat and I fell down about four of those stairs, so if you see a chunk of my shin I'd like it back.
D: You know how Phil is gona die? On that in about ten minutes. So I hope you're ready, you're gonna be here for the final moment.

- exposure to sharpie fumes
D: Yep okay I mean we've inhaled a lot of sharpie over the years. Don't actually do that.
P: No.
D: I know we do it every year, but don't actually do anything that we do on youtube, okay. It's really not safe at all.
P: i think it's in my bloodstream now.
D: Probably. It's like fifty percent blood, fifty percent sharpie ink. And again it would explain a lot about out behavior wouldn't it.

- going outside once and dying of sunburn
D: Yep. Phil has to wear SPF 100 just to buy some milk.
P: I really do. If it's past eight degrees I need to slather on the sun cream.
D: It's a good thing we don't go outside, isn't it?

Their chosen answer: tripping
What's in Dan's Box?
- a two month old pizza
- a Shane Dawson video
- old hair straighteners
Wholesome Howell and X-Rated Lester
Dan - placenta (full of nutrients, smoothie)
Phil - data refreshes (something about FBI guy?)
Dan - Satan (relates it back to the simulation earlier)
Phil - Eurovision (something is so good and you get a song stuck in your head)
Dan - inevitable death (humanity is the worst thing about our reality)
Phil - heaven (no wifi)
Friendship Test
Psychic Connections round - word: soft drinks
P: fanta
D: fanta


Level Two: Phantastic Phacts
Dan's question: What year did Phil appear on The Weakest Link?
D: Oh my god that's so specific, I didn't even know you then.
P: Come on!
D: You had like, ginger Viking hair.
P: I did.
D: It's when you were at university... I am gonna say... 2007?
P: It was!
D: Yes! Ha! Boom! You doubted me. Ah, yes, I can guess what year Phil was in just from his weird hair. Thank you. Don't come for me.

Phil's question: What jobs did Dan have before youtube?
P: Okay, uhh-
D: I'm gonna say that there was three including work experience. Actually, four including an internship and some work experience.
P: You worked at, uh - Focus, and a lawyer place -
D: Yes... don't help him!
P: I don't now anything else! I don't know.
D: Really - are you serious?
P: I don't know!
D: I made videos about these things! I worked at ASDA and [??].

Level Three: Dan, Phil, or a Rat
(Phil gets it right, Dan gets it right)

Final Round: Dan and Phil Dilemmas

Dan's dilemma: Phil is no longer allergic to dog hair, but Dan can never wear black again.
D: That is too much to ask.
P: The doggos!
D: If I never wore black again, I would be naked. There would be nothing left.
P: You can buy some colors!
D: I am sorry, Phil. As far as I'm concerned, you could pop an anti-histamine every day for the rest of your life. No!

Phil's dilemma: You gain ten million subscribers, but Dan has to kill Dil and Tabitha.
D: Oh my god.
P: I love my Simmies!
D: What is it, Phil? Diamond play button or no more Sims series?
P: No, I can't kill the Sims, I like the Sims too much.
D: Really? You would forgo all those subscribers? Aw, thank you, Phil.
Real Conversation Time

What are your favorite kind of videos to film?
P: I'd have to say my favorite are definitely the baking videos.
D: Oh my god, the baking - okay, right right right. Phil says his favorite videos to film are the baking because he eats the ingredients as we go.
P: I do. It's the best day.
D: Remember the triple chocolate easter nests? They required marshmallows, okay. Phil ate an entire bag. And it was like, this big. It was dangerous.
P: You can't -
D: And then I had to go to the shop to replace the ingredients because Phil was eating them while we were filming.
P: Look, Dan, the moral of the story is to be better at hiding snacks.
D: Yes. Yes, that's the problem, the problem is that I don't hide things well enough. This is why I need a secret box.
P: Yeah, that's really fun. i also really love filming the Sims videos as well.
D: Yes. I mean, it's always like, what the hell is gonna happen, we have no idea.
P: We're terrible at it and it's just fun seeing everything we can do to our Sims.
D: Exactly. And they apparently really love Dan and Phil crafts, which was horrible to film because we got glitter all over the floor which we literally never managed to clean up.
P: No. I'm still finding it in my body. In? I mean, on. That was weird.
I have to do a speech. Have you got any tips on public speaking
P: Well, that's happening right now.
D: We know nothing about public speaking.
P: I'm suddenly aware of the audience.
D: I mean, Phil, there you are - an introvert. How do you do it?
P: I'd say you worry about it, but every single person you're talking to - say you're doing a speech at school or something like that. Everyone else has got their own problems and thoughts and feelings going on in their heads.
D: Exactly.
P: So they're probably not focused that intently on you.
D: Because it's scary if you imagine that everyone is sitting there and looking at you and judging you, but if it's like now and everybody's really supportive of you and they want it to be fine, it's not scary.
P: Yeah, and-
D: So thank you all for being nice.
P: But also in a situation like that, usually the rest of the class has got to do a speech as well so everyone else is probably just like oh my god my speech is coming up and they're probably not even listening to what you're saying.
D: Everybody is equally terrified, and that's humanity, okay. We're so scared of what other people think but we're all scared of each other all the time. That is the secret.
P: And the last thing I'd say, maybe just don't look at everyone in the eyes. If there's someone you're avoiding just stare at a clock or a pen.
I'm worried I'm going to fail my exams. Is my life over?
D: Does anyone else relate to that this week?
P: Your life is not going to be over, so do not worry about that.
D: The meteor ain't coming yet, honey, so don't worry.
P: I'd say if you're having a mental block with revising, I think you just need to take a break for like fifteen minutes or try a different method. It always helped me to talk through things with other people so I'd annoy my mum and dad and just be like, quiz me on this, quiz me on this again.
D: Read this back at me.
P: And another thing I would do is just right everything out a million times, because like writing for some reason goes into my head, and visualizing so I would draw pictures, which is also fun because-
D: How do you draw pictures of math revision?
P: Yeah-
D: Phil can do it, he's a very special guy.
P: You do them in colorful post it notes and stuff like that.
D: Oh, look at him go. Well, Phil, that's your sensible revision advice. The other thing I'd say is that I tried really hard in all of my exams and it ended up being completely pointless in my life. So that's - I'm sure all of you are probably freaking out and working really hard and stressing: don't worry too much because, as he said, your life won't be over.
P: It's not the end of the world.
D: It is never the end of the world. All you can do is try your best. Not everybody is meant for doing academic stuff and doing exams. All you can do is try your best with the circumstances you have in your life and be proud of that, because the rest of your life is so much longer than just a couple years of school that no one cares about, so you'll be fine.
P: You'll be fine.
D: Because after all, I flunked my fist year of university and things kind of turned out okay. I feel like we're literally the worst role models.
P: Try your best. It'll be good.
Thanks to spideysenseau for providing the audio!

User avatar
alittledizzy
actual demon phannie
actual demon phannie
Posts: 3407
Joined: Sat Mar 26, 2016 3:09 pm
Pronouns: she/her

Re: Interactive Introverts Fan Submitted Answer Segments (II SPOILERS!)

Post by alittledizzy » Tue May 15, 2018 7:38 pm

Manchester - 14 May 2018

Truth Bombs
Phil's question: What does Phil dream about at night?
P: It's pretty weird after I've slapped a whole bag of Percy Pigs, I'll tell you that much.
D: Phil's a wild guy.

- dead houseplants
D: Right off the bat.
P: Too soon.
D: Nightmares about the friends you have murdered. (Loki the Cactus joke.)

- a giant cornflake softly caressing his cheek
P: That sounds midlly arousing.
D: That is the weirdest thing I have read this week, and that is really saying something.
P: That's very weird.
D: This has put a whole new angle on the cereal stealing thing. It's now kinky and I don't like it.
P: Cereal [??]
D: Lets not have that anymore.

- Dan's dimple
P: Is your dimple the size of the giant cornflake?
D: I - [??] stroking you. Why are you dreaming about Derek?
P: I don't know. Derek is for you only.
D: We've been on this stage for ten minutes and the tone is already like, down there somewhere.

Phil's chosen answer: houseplants

Dan's question: What is hidden in Dan's browsing history?
- diy furry costume
P: Can't buy one.
D: There is is.
P: just have to craft it yourself.
D: And you've all seen Dan and Phil Crafts, we're not good with that. It's like what, what are you - I'm a unicorn made with glitter and paper. Okay.
P: Oh god.
D: I would get rejected from every convention.
P: You would.

- pictures of whisks
P: You haven't recovered yet from the whisk.
D: How many years has it been? Let me go, okay. If anybody here doesn't get the reference, your soul is clean and lets move on quickly, okay.

- Shrek and Donkey fanfic
P: Oh no.
D: It was a steamy day in the swamp...
P: Stop. They're just gonna have a nice day together and nothing else is gonna happen.
D: Donkey was like, is that onions I smell, Shrek goes no I'm in heat. Coming to a wattpad near you.

Dan's chosen answer: diy fursuit

Joint Dan and Phil question: What would a documentary about their lives be called?
- two bros chilling on a sofa
P: Thanks, Jen.
D: The [??] part was Dan got sucked into a sofa crease. He can't get out.
P: That's very true.
D: Been there for twelve hours. His skin has fused to the fabric. True story.
P: We did have to cut you out of that sofa.

- soft and neat
D: Nobody wants these references.
P: Not at all.

- nerds with no friends
P: I mean, it's true, we can't complain-
D: It might be true but is it necessary? That's all I'm gonna say.
P: Apparently so.
D: I love our supportive audience.

Their chosen answer: nerds with no friends
What's in Dan's Box?
- maltesers
P: I would not be surprised.
D: Set me free. Okay, yes. I mean, Phil is a snack stealer, that would make sense. I'm keeping Maltesers locked in a box under my bed.

- stress mushroom
D: Oh for god's sake, yes, yes, the stress mushroom that we exploded all over ourselves.
P: The memories of that.
D: Thank you for reminding me- I think I'm still finding little bits of whatever burst out of that when we stretched it, thanks.

- the hat fic
D: A printed, leather bound screenplay for something called The Hat Fic. Okay!
P: Wow.
D: I don't know why you think I have that locked in a box under my bed... with some Maltesers and a stress mushroom...
Wholesome Howell and X-Rated Lester
Dan - disturbing fanfiction (good for convincing you that the internet is bad)
Phil - free wifi (FBI guy)
Dan - dabbing (exercise)
Phil - infinite pancakes (you'd drown in pancakes)
Dan - spontanious human combustion (what he'll do to set himself free from his old branding)
Phil - world peace (wouldn't go into space if earth were peaceful)
Friendship Test
Psychic Connections round - word: fruit
P: banana
D: [??]

Level Two: Phantastic Phacts
Dan's question: What GCSEs did Phil take?
P: You should know that!
D: You're like seventy, how the hell would I know that?
P: Name three-
D: Have you ever-
P: I've talked about this with you.
D: Okay. Geography...
P: Yes!
D: Art...
P: Yes!
D: History-
P: No!
D: Okay, what did you go? Tell me.
P: Geography, art, they were right - graphics-
D: Graphics. [disbelieving noise] Who takes graphics and art?
P: This one!
D: And what?
P: And your mum.

Phil's question: What country did Dan get sunstroke in?
D: Infamously suntanned too much, puked in the taxi, good times.
P: Oh! Where was it!
D: Stick your arm out and make your decision Phil- Phil. Arm. No fifty/fifty.
P: It's in my head, I'm just trying to access it!
D: Phil, Phil in his mind palace.
P: Turkey!
D: It was Morocco, you idiot! I feel like that was as close a guess as you could have made.

Level Three: Dan, Phil, or a Rat
(Phil gets it right, Dan gets it right)

Final Round: Dan and Phil Dilemmas

Dan's dilemma: Phil has been taken hostage by a cheese perv, but to rescue him Dan must never wear black again.
D: What tortured mind could even suggest that?
P: But the cheese perv!
D: If I never wore black again I would literally just be naked.
P: They're gonna feed me cheese until I'm sad.
D: I mean look some people like cheese even if this guy wants to rub some gorgonzola on your nipples, you'll live through it okay.
P: Dan! Are you saying no?
D: I mean, you could escape a hostage situation right?
P: What?
D: No I'm gonna keep wearing black.

Phil's dilemma: Dan is drowning in a vat of cheese, but to save him Phil has to drink 100 liters of cheese.
D: That's a big vat.
P: That is so much. But - are you gonna die, though? It says you're drowning.
D: I am drowning in a vat of cheese, okay.
P: I wouldn't want Dan to die, so I think I'd save his life.
D: You'd sa- oh my god. I mean damnit I don't get to electrocute you. Okay.
P: I'd just sprinkle some cereal in there, put a peg on my nose, it's fine.
D: That was such a specific mental image right there.
Real Conversation Time

Is there anything you would change about your lives if you could go back in time?
P: I would like to be the next Doctor.
D: Can you imagine? Phil is the kind of guy that would accidentally press a red button and blow up a planet.
P: I think that would be a chaotic season of Doctor Who, wouldn't it?
D: It would, definitely.
P: But no - what would you change if you could go back?
D: That sounds quite intense. I'm getting a vision. I'm thirteen.
P: Yeah?
D: I'm signing up to youtube dot com. Make an account, it says. What do you want your username to be. danisnotonfire... I would go back then and just punch myself. I'm just saying, I think this is something we all should think about, which is that life is full of traumatizing and cringeworthy memories that we'd all rather forget. But all of those things make you the person that you are today-
P: They do!
D: So despite the fact that I've been through a lot, I wouldn't change any of it because I'm here with you tonight.
P: [??]
D: Guys, I feel like Wholesome Howell is leaking. Okay, I need to get on top of this.
P: He's leaking.
D: But it's true, okay. If you ever feel bad, look to the future, okay - don't look to the past and cringe.
P: I would probably change my hair a lot sooner, because that was silly to worry about.
D: They all still turned up, didn't they. It would have been fine, Phil.
I'm scared to go to university. I can't cook or even exist.
P: Well, Dan - you have problems cooking at university, didn't you?
D: Okay, right right. First week of university, I'm gonna make some pasta - no one told me you had to put water in the pan, okay. So yes I'd just set fire to some pasta and everyone in my halls were like, who the hell is this guy. Hey, you have to learn at some point.
P: Well, Jade is gonna get on better than you because now they know-
D: You can live off Tesco value bread.
P: - to put water in pasta. My advice is was if you're moving into halls or something like that keep your door open for the first two weeks and put some haribo in your room and when someone else is moving in you can be like oh hey, my name's Jade, would you like a haribo?
D: Bribe friends with sweets, that's the- [audience cheering]. Whilst people are always really scared because it's such an intense social situation, you just need to remember that literally everybody's in the same boat and it doesn't matter how confident you think they'd be compared to you, everybody is terrified that they're not gonna make friends. So if you just be nice to people you will make friends. But also, when you move away or get a job or just move out of your parents house, that is the opportunity to totally take your life into your own hands, okay. So I think even if it's scary look forward to the future because you can make it whatever you want.
What job would you have if you weren't on youtube?
D: A lawyer, am I right? No that didn't work out, that didn't work out.
P: It didn't. I would love an anime of you as a lawyer.
D: Yes. that would be an interesting one.
P: I always had dreams of being an astronaut as a child.
D: Really?
P: Amongst weatherman and ice cream van driver.
D: Okay yes ice cream van driver. Astronaut. Very normal.
P: Whenever I go on wikipedia odysseys it's always about space and going into space and different planets.
D: Where does that come from:
P: I don't know.
D: Is this to say that you want world war three to happen-
P: No!
D: -and you just want to leave as soon as possible?
P: But what I'm saying is I would, if I could safely to Mars and come back I would totally do it.
D: Yes, yes, when you can just like ride a bike to Mars-
P: Yeah.
D: Phil would be on that first cosmic bike.
P: But sadly you have to be good at maths and science and.
D: Aw Phil that is another dream for you to have.
P: Also the motion sickness as well. Big no.
D: No, definitely. Phil walking up stairs makes him motion sick.
P: It does.
D: So I don't think he can go on a rocket. But I mean, would you rather do anything other than what you're doing now?
P: No, I love what I'm doing now.
D: Why Phil?
P: Well it's because of these guys.
D: Okay, alright panderer, what does that mean?
P: It just makes me happy that I can make other people happy with what I make.
D: Aw, there we go. No matter what we do, if that happens at any moment with anyone that's a good enough reason for me to not be a lawyer or selling to a five year old.
Thanks to agingphangirl for providing the audio!

User avatar
alittledizzy
actual demon phannie
actual demon phannie
Posts: 3407
Joined: Sat Mar 26, 2016 3:09 pm
Pronouns: she/her

Re: Interactive Introverts Fan Submitted Answer Segments (II SPOILERS!)

Post by alittledizzy » Wed May 16, 2018 4:49 pm

Manchester - 15 May 2018

Truth Bombs
Phil's question: What is hidden under Phil's bed?
- dead houseplants
P: Amber, too soon! My children.
D: It's 'too soon' every two weeks, Phil. All your children are dead.
P: No they're- (Loki the cactus joke.)

- his sexy cheese suit
D: In case anyone is scared, Phil does have a cheese suit and it's probably the least sexy object in the entire world but Marie, we are not shaming you.
P: I don't know, I think I could work the cheese suit from certain angles. No, I can't.
D: I don't know what that as, but never do that ever again.

- his Thor and Loki fanfiction
P: It's a completely innocent fanfic where they go to ASDA and buy some of those really nice cookies.
D: Right.
P: And watch The Avengers and have a crisis because they're watching themselves in the movie.
D: That's quite deep. After Infinity War, that would be some very weird fanfics, wouldn't it.
P: Stop!
D: So much in common with the cactus.

Phil's chosen answer: houseplants

Dan's question: What form of torture would make Dan confess everything?
- being forced to watch Hello, Internet
P: Hi. My name is Dan.
D: No! No!
P: Just over and over again.
D: I will leave right now. Do not think I'm joking. Um, okay, that is literally true.

- Nick Jonas blocking him on twitter.
D: You just won't let me move past these things, will you? It's like, what's one thing that makes Dan really upset - how long ago? Doesn't matter. Cool, okay, fine.
P: Hey, buddy. He'll never be in London again.
D: Hashtag dick will never happen.

- Phil leaving him alone for an hour.
D: Are you kidding me?
P: Yeah?
D: That's not what would make me confess everything, that's what I dream about at night. Release me.
P: But I did need to teach you how to use a bottle opener earlier, so I think you need someone nearby.
D: Okay, wow well I have to teach you how to just frickin' turn a tap on over a catcus, so I guess we both need each other.

Dan's chosen answer: Hello, Internet

Joint Dan and Phil question: How will they die?
- Those clumsy lads will both fall off the stage.
D: Yes, yes. It's true. You'll be like 'were you there when they both died simultaneously? Tripping off that.'
P: This stage has so many edges, seriously, I coud fall off any one of them.
D: Why did we choose the black foor, if we went for the red glitter it wouldn't be a trip hazard, I'm just putting it out there.

- Lack of sunlight
P: I think that's more me than Dan.
D: I mean-
P: I'm almost see through today.
D: Well we don't get any sunlight so we're like, missing a lot of the essential vitamins. But at the same time, if you went outside you would instantly combust because you're so pale.
P: Look Dan a whole bag of Percy Pigs is one of your five a day.
D: Definitely. Phil, he has to wear like SPF1000 just to go buy some milk and it's quite tragic.
P: It's a hard life.
D: He's got that like, rare Voldemort complexion that not many people are both with but that's fine.
P: I'll avada kedavra you in a minute.

- Burning down the house with a baking video.
D: Okay I can see that happening.
P: That is totally gonna happen.
D: Dan and Phil, they're just mixing some meringues, what could go wrong right?
P: Anything.
D: I'm actually surprised - who here is surprised we haven't died filming a baking video yet? Yeah, exactly. It's inevitable.

Their chosen answer: baking video
What's in Dan's Box?
- purple gimp
D: Whose seen that crusty old Dan video? Guys, its a strong look - I have a man in this box?
P: Can he breathe?
D: Are you okay?! Carl! ... he is dead like the cactus.

- frog
- bunch of memes
Wholesome Howell and X-Rated Lester
Dan - moths (looking at them can force you off the computer when you've been on it for sixteen hours a day)
Phil - anime (what if something is so great you get so many emotions and you rip your own heart out)
Dan - homework (there is always a way to tie it into your interest, something about Bucky and fanfic being part of the school curriculum)
Phil - a million dogs (drowning in dogs)
Dan - the apocalypse (humanity is the worst thing about earth)
Phil - helping the elderly (grandmas are really creepy sometimes, you wake in the middle of the night and there's a grandma in your room offering you milk)
Friendship Test
Psychic Connections round - word: number between 1 and 10
P: ten
D: six

Level Two: Phantastic Phacts
Dan's question: What did Phil get his mum for mother's day in 2006?
D: What?
P: You should know this.
D: What?
P: And these people - some of them know there's a very specific reason why you should know this.
D: Is this like a reference I don't get? Oh my god. Okay.
P: What do you think, Dan?
D: How would I know
P: Gotta say something.
D: Was this like in the book or something, I have no idea- okay, I'm gonna... some socks.
P: No! [shocks him]
D: What was it?
P: It was a monkey trapped in a cage and it was from my first video! [stronger accent] 'I got my mum a monkey trapped in a cage' You don't remember?
D: I do now.
P: Worst fan ever.
D: Pfffft. Okay. Did you just call me a fake fan in front of everyone?
P: I did. Fake fan. Fake Dan.
D: It's like we just came full circle with Manchester Phil here, and I got punished for it for some reason.

Phil's question: What is Dan's favorite pizza topping?
D: This is really important.
P: What do Dan-
D: And look. We eat a lot of pizza.
P: We eat a lot of pizza.
D: You really should know this. Stick your hand out. Make your decision.
P: You get super zazzed about fancy pizzas like rocket and parma ham.
D: Damnit! That's right, I'm a classy bitch and I like some rocket and parma. I appreciate some Dominos, but hey, what can I say, I have taste.
P: While I'm just like, give me the Dominos.

Level Three: Dan, Phil, or a Rat
(Phil gets it right, Phil gets it right)

D: Why are you such a rat expert, Phil?
P: Because you're a rat.
D: [walks away]
P: Come back!

[Dan correctly guesses the picture of fetus Phil]
P: That was fetus Phil!
D: Aww, was that Phil that just bought his mum a monkey.

Final Round: Dan and Phil Dilemmas

Dan's dilemma: Phil wins the lottery, but Dan has to live in a bin.
D: Okay, what, forever? So you win the lottery and what would you - you'd just live in a zoo or something, wouldn't you?
P: I'd build a slide instead of stairs. It's been my dream forever.
D: Okay so Phil gets to do that, I have to live in a bin forever.
P: I could put some air freshener in there. Ambi Pure.
D: Are you kidding me? You would - no! I would not live in a bin!
P: [buzzes him] Bad friend!
D: Okay, fine. Okay.
P: Bad!
D: I'm not a dog. Don't talk to me like that.
P: Sit.

Phil's dilemma: Dan will never get ill ever again, Phil has to drink a cheese smoothie every morning.
P: Ever?
D: Ever, in my entire life.
P: You never get colds anyway. You're like-
D: Yeah but like, nothing.
P: -Captain Vitamin C.
D: Perfect health forever. Which is important, Phil. But. Phil has to drink a cheese smoothie every morning.
P: No! Ugh.
D: Or Phil just like, gargles some Stilton first thing in the morning. Put it with some brie in your Crunchy Nut, it'll be fine.
P: Here's the thing.
D: Oh yeah?
P: I uh... I think the government would experiment on you.
D: Oh what, because - this is how you're trying to pitch this? Oh what, you're saving me because this would be a bad thing for me.
P: I don't want the cheese! No!
D: [buzzes him] Bad friend! No! Okay, there we go. I can't believe my health means nothing to you [mumbling something] drink down that cheese.
Real Conversation Time

I suck at talking in front of a crowd. Any advice?
D: Nope.
P: Suddenly I'm aware of the crowd.
D: Have you seen this show so far? What advice do you want from us, how to traumatize people forever?
P: I'm guessing you're talking about like, school or a university setting where you've got to do a presentation, I had to do a lot of those.
D: Ugh.
P: I would say that everyone in the room when you're doing that is probably, rather than thinking wow Emily is saying this or Emily is doing that, they're preoccupied with their own thoughts and thinking about themselves and everything else that's buzzing in their head. Because everyone else has got a whole cloud of thoughts and if they're listening to you they're probably not judging you as much as you think they are.
D: I mean especially if it's in a situation where it's like you have to present something-
P: Yeah.
D: - in college or something like that, literally everybody is terrified, okay. So if you just think: I'm probably less scared than at least five other people here you'll feel more normal. Because it's very easy to think like everybody is staring at you, every- I mean everyone here is staring at-
P: They literally are.
D: -but we know that it's in a friendly supportive way.
P: It is.
D: Question mark.
P: We hope so.
D: I think if you just think of it like that it'll be less scary.
P: Like when we started on the radio I was super nervous so I just imagined I was talking to a friend, so if you think about that - so instead of staring at the eyes of-
D: Get rid of the eyes. Just look at a clock. Clock, you're my friend. I love you clock. Clock loves me. Clock wants me to succeed. Yes! I'll do it for you, clock!
P: Yeah! Clock! Just imagine it's your friend or your auntie or your mum or anyone like that, and it'll be fine.
Which videos do you like making most?
D: Not Dan and Phil crafts. The glitter took about four weeks to clean up.
P: Oh my gosh. I'm still finding glitter in certain areas.
D: In deep crevaces of my body. Like, oh yep, glitter, there we go.
P: Despite them being disasters, I do like the baking videos because they're just really fun.
D: Yeah because you eat the ingredients, as we know. You don't understand, what was the thing that involved marshmallows?
P: The uh-
D: Was it the easter nests? Maybe. Yeah, we had to have a whole bag of marshmallows, like a whole bag of jumbo marshmallows, and use the entire thing - before we started filming Phil had eaten the entire bag.
P: Look.
D: The entire - so we got to filming and I was like, Phil, we can't film, you have to go to Tesco right now. You have a serious problem.
P: As my grandma would say, he's a growing boy. He eats the food.
D: If we grow any taller we'll just be like literal - we'll be those I's at the side of the stage, it'll be disturbing.
P: Fine. So, I'd say I also really love the Sims as well, that's just so fun - like, what's gonna happen?
D: Yeah, it's pretty unpredictable, I agree.
I'm too awkward and nerdy for my crush. Help!
P: The thing is, if your crush doesn't accept your nerdy self then they're not worth it!
D: Exactly, Phil!
P: There is definitely a nerd out there for you, and it's not about changing yourself to please someone else because in the long run that is not gonna work out.
D: No, exactly. I mean as we found out earlier when Phil said yeee and the rest of you said yeee, there are weirdos out there for all of us. Never change yourself for someone else. Phil coming in with the good dating advice.
Thanks to susan2 and grafourcy for providing show audio!

User avatar
alittledizzy
actual demon phannie
actual demon phannie
Posts: 3407
Joined: Sat Mar 26, 2016 3:09 pm
Pronouns: she/her

Re: Interactive Introverts Fan Submitted Answer Segments (II SPOILERS!)

Post by alittledizzy » Sat May 19, 2018 3:20 pm

Basingstoke - 17 May 2018

Intro Banter
P: Speaking of being traumatized - I was getting into this costume-
D: Phil got intimate with nature, about ten minutes ago...
P: -little woodlouse crawled out! How long has that been in there?
D: Okay so we were debating this, I don't feel like - sorry this is like, I don't know what you were expecting for the start of the show, but this is very important and we've just got to address it quickly - I don't feel like they're the scariest beasts, you know what I mean? Like if it was like a spider [makes a retching sound] people don't want to hear that. But woodlouse, it's kinda cute.
P: That’s like, if it, if it started paying rent and wants to cling onto one of those leg hairs, I don't mind.
D: But what was it doing in your jeans?
P: That's what I'm saying! What a little perv.
D: Wow. We're not here to shame any woodlice.
P: I am.
D: Aren't they there where there’s, like, wood though, do you have a wooden leg?
P: Maybe. I don't know. It was weird.
D: These are the big questions. Also, Phil tweeted it and all the Americans were like 'what's that' - in America they call them rolypoly bugs. What the hell is wrong with them?
P: Rolypoly bugs. You'll be happy to know I released it into Basingstoke so it could be in any of your-
Truth Bombs
Phil's question: What imaginary sport would Phil get a medal in?
D: Implying that there's any answer to that.
P: I can do a sport!
D: A sport?
P: Yeah.
D: Would you do a sport?
P: Like do a sport.
D: What sport would you be good at?
P: Squatting.
D: Never do that again.
P: I'm falling off the stage.
D: Yes [??] - win gold once and then you'd be dead.

- the palest person
D: Straight off the bat.
P: I mean I am almost see through
D: Phil has that rare Voldemort complexion.
P: I do.
D: It's so hard to get. It's basically green but-
P: I'll Avada Kedavra you if you don't stop.
D: Oi!

- dead cacti olympics
D: It's funny because Phil has a got houseplants and they're all dead.
(Loki the Cactus joke.)

- sports????
D: That's it. Implying that Phil has never done an exercise in his life.
P: Hey! I love the four question marks.
D: It's like she was asked “what would Phil get a medal in… “... no, just no. I'm not even filling that out.

Phil's chosen answer: sports????

Dan's question: What is in Dan's browsing history?
- pictures of whisks
P: You'll never escape the whisks.
D: How many years - years - has it been? Just let me recover from this trauma in peace, okay. And if you don't get the reference, your soul is clean.

- self insert Avengers fanfic
P: You gonna be Steve or Tony or both? Or the pregnant… baby inside… both.
D : Yes, self insert mpreg fanfic where I’m the baby.. It’s very niche.
[Dan’s talking here and it’s something along the lines of “That’s what I would say…“]
P: Yeah.

- “fursuit shops near me”
D: [something about how it had only been 7 minutes and we were roasting him already]

Dan's chosen answer: searching for fursuit shops

Joint Dan and Phil question: What would a documentary about their lives be called?

- two men, five channels
D: As long as there's no cups, that's fine.
[??]

- how we escaped emo
D: Wow I mean that could be Phil's now that Phil's gotten rid of his fringe.
P: That's okay, I've kept it in a box in my bedroom, I could just glue it back on.
P: [??]
D: A moment of silence for the last emo on earth.

- wholesome rats
P: Can I be the wholesome and you be the rat?
D: I love our supportive audience.

Their chosen answer: two men, five channels
What's in Dan's Box?
- chargers
- suki the hamster
- secret stash of cereal
Wholesome Howell and X-Rated Lester
Dan - cringe attack (abs, watch hello internet and cringe and do a situp)
Phil - infinite snacks (what if they’re not nice, what if they’re fig rolls, and cheese! Disgusting snacks!)
Dan - nightmares (see something so terrifying it makes you appreciate reality)
Phil - picnic in the forest (that’s always the start of a horror film)
Dan - meteor (worst thing about earth is humanity)
Phil - world peace (?? but assuming he says can't go space) “let’s just have a war and then it’ll be good and we’ll get to go to mars” … dan helps him get the crowd to chant “world war iii”
Friendship Test
Psychic Connections round - word: fruit
P: banana
D: satsuma

Level Two: Phantastic Phacts
Dan's question: What year did Phil get his degree?
D: What? How am I supposed to know that? You’re like fifty eight. Okay, fine. Oh my god.
P: Come on, what year was it Dan?
D: Bet you had like really long caveman hair.
P: I did.
D: I’m gonna... Hmm… Ahhhh….2007.
P: No! 2008!
D: Fffff. [?? Dan questioning Phil here.]
P: [??] degree!
D: You got your english language degree in 2007.
P: I did!
D: Bad friend! [??]
P: [??]
D: Snek! Snek detected!
[?? which one of them is saying this?] Two degrees, two degrees-
D: Just because I dropped out in the first year, don't rub it in my face!
P: [??]
D: Two degree Lester.

Phil's question: What is the first CD Dan bought?
P: Oh!
D: This is essential[?} friend knowledge.
P: You talked about this the other day!
D: It was an album. Not a single. [??] Put your hand out.
P: It was embarrassing, I remember that. Spice World by the Spice Girls.
D: CD, Phil, not tape. It was Maroon 5.

Level Three: Dan, Phil, or a Rat
(Phil gets it right, Dan gets it wrong)

Final Round: Dan and Phil Dilemmas

Dan's dilemma: Phil is trapped in direct sunlight with no SPF on but to rescue him you have to tweet your browsing history.
D: So Phil is in imminent danger of spontaneous combustion.
P: These lights are making me tan.
D: Phil can't stand the light in the room without wearing an SPF.
P: But to rescue him you have to tweet your browsing history. [??] seeing some of that earlier [??] fursuit.
D: Okay, you had to remind me [??]
P: Are you gonna do it? Are you gonna save me from the sun?
D: Ummm. No [??] there's no way. You might burn. I don't care. The things I've seen. [??] Wattpad. Airbus beluga fanfic. [??] I'm being honest. That is actually the decision I'd make in that situation.

Phil's dilemma: You get unlimited cereal forever, but every time Dan bends over his trousers rip.
D: Ok. Wonderful. Great.
P: I’d share my unlimited cereal with you!
D: [Something about his trousers.]
P: But Dan you're sat down most of the time anyway, so it’s not like it would happen that much, and it would be funny.
D: It would be funny?! Fake[?] friend detected.
P: I would share the cereal with all these guys as well. I’m gonna pick the cereal!
D: Are you serious?! You chose cereal over me flashing people forever?!
Real Conversation Time

Have you got any advice for the first day of a new job?
D: Oooh. Don't sell axes to children.
P: Except [??]
D: What is she worrying about?
P: I think it's a bit overwhelming starting a new job a new skill, you don't know what you're doing. You need to learn about it.
D: Lots of responsibility.
P: So I'd say something I didn't on my first job at... how do I call it... [WH Smith] - I didn't think to ask any questions to anyone. I was like, yeah! I know how to sell lottery tickets! I just press like [boop, boop] [??]
D: [??] you take that, and you put it in that. [??] So why, why did you not ask?
P: So that's the thing, if you start a job everyone's gonna expect you to not know much about it at first. So don't be afraid to ask the supervisor what does this button on the till do? It accidentally calls the police.
D: Okay yes. [??] panic alarm and sell an axe to a five year old. [??]
P: [??]
[audience cheering over them talking]
D: [??]
P: I left that job at my place because someone threw a chocolate orange at my head.
D: Last piece of advice, if someone throws a chocolate orange at you-
P: Duck.
I definitely failed my GCSE, is my life over.
D: [??]
P: You haven't gotten the results yet. It's always worse in your head than you think. Like whenever you have an exam or even a social situation, you always think about the worst thing that would happen compared to 'oh I could have done that.'
D: Your life is not over.
P: But your life is not over, the earth is going to continue to turn after results day, everything will be fine, and there will be a path in your life that you can follow.
D: Try your best and if you don’t get what you want, it doesn’t matter, just go with the flow. I mean I stressed about it all the time and it ended up being completely useless in my life!
P: Yeah
D: You should never get so stressed that you make yourself sick or you get worried or something. Just don't worry, whatever happens in life, you'll be fine.
P: It will.
D: Because look, Phil, you have no skills-
P: Hey!
What is the UK tour bus like?
D: Oh, tour bus? Good one.
P: It's a car.
D: It’s very small, ok? When you're in America you need a bus because it's so big you need to drive overnight to get from place to place. But if you're going from Milton Keynes to Basingstoke, you don’t need to sleep overnight, so we're just in a car.
P: We are.
D: For like, six and a half hours. Like... hello.
P: There's not much leg room and I get travel sick, so everyone's sat on their laptops and I'm just like - ughhh.
D: The UK tour van it's Phil looking out the window crying trying not to be sick. There we go!
Thanks to human for providing the show audio, and additional thanks to rizzo and underratedwords for helping with transcription!

User avatar
alittledizzy
actual demon phannie
actual demon phannie
Posts: 3407
Joined: Sat Mar 26, 2016 3:09 pm
Pronouns: she/her

Re: Interactive Introverts Fan Submitted Answer Segments (II SPOILERS!)

Post by alittledizzy » Sat May 19, 2018 3:25 pm

Plymouth - 18 May 2018

No audio.

(Got some? Send it my way!)

User avatar
alittledizzy
actual demon phannie
actual demon phannie
Posts: 3407
Joined: Sat Mar 26, 2016 3:09 pm
Pronouns: she/her

Re: Interactive Introverts Fan Submitted Answer Segments (II SPOILERS!)

Post by alittledizzy » Mon May 21, 2018 12:21 am

Leeds - 20 May 2018

Intro Banter
P: So, interesting fact - today we found out that we are actually twins.
D: Yes, yeah, that's true. Biological twins, that makes all the fanfiction awkward. Context. Quickly.
P: Okay I'll give you some context. Went out for breakfast in the hotel, and a lady came up to us and went 'are you two twins?' I was like - I mean, before the hair change -
D: Here's the thing, I think, this is the thing - we get that a lot. Because it's like, two people, they're tall [??] am I right. When we had the same hair, if you look at us it's like, clearly Phil's not even the same species-
P: Hey!
D: But that made sense. But now it's like, what is that based on?
P: What were they thinking?
D: I don't know! But I said yes, obviously.
P: Yes.
D: Whatever shuts down the conversation the quickest. I didn't want to be like, no, no, we're not - I just went, yep.
P: I can't believe you said yes!
D: So if you're in here now, I'm sorry we deceived you okay, that's bad.

Truth Bombs
Phil's question: What form of torture would make Phil confess everything?
P: Oh my gosh, I'm not a very resilient person.
D: That's - I know. Blowing at him lightly, I mean he's that fragile. I don't know, it wouldn't be very hard.
- force feeding him cheese
P: I could only stand one little hunk of dairy lee and I'd be telling you all the codes.
D: What would happen if someone guzzled some Stilton down your -
P: No, no thanks.
D: Someone lightly stroked you with some Parmesan?
P: Stop!
D: It's a crust exfoliation.
P: I'm already [??].

- gluing his emo hair back on
P: Too soon!
D: Phil. There really hasn't been much time for you to heal since then.
P: I may have put it back in my bedside drawer just in case I need to glue it back on.
D: Just in case.
P: Just in case it didn't go down well.

- some light exercise
P: It's very true.
D: Some? Even like, twenty minutes of jogging, just like... a challenging flight of stairs.
P: [??] After the show I'll do like twenty step ups.

Phil's chosen answer: some light exercise

Dan's question: What is hidden in Dan's browsing history?
- his 5SOS(?) tumblr blog
D: [something about bathtub] No! I don't have one of those. I don't have one of those.

- sexy johnlock fanfic
P: [does the universal porn background music sound] That's the theme tune in my head.
D: What you just did was worse than the last episode of Sherlock.
P: Don't remind me.

- furries anonymous
D: It's been what like six minutes? And we're already on the furry jokes? Thanks guy, love it.
P: I was wondering what that furry thing in the post was.

Dan's chosen answer: furries anonymous

Joint Dan and Phil question: how will they die?
- Dan falls off a chair and pulls Phil down with him.
D: Yes!
P: I always worry that will happen. You're close to the edge and I'm just like ahhh.
D: One day I'm just gonna grab you for safety and then we're gonna both die at the same time. Very poetic. I am going to die on DanandPhilGames. [??] It's not like an if, it's a when.
P: I'm waiting for it.

- swallowed by the sofa crease
D: It is true. We have made a deep crevasse in our sofa and one day during a three and a half hour browsing spree I will just get eaten by it.
(some more sofa crease banter)

- they murder each other for cereal stealing
D: Yes! Yes. Why do I feel like that is what's going to happen?
P: Look, I'm a growing lad.
D: You better not be. You're long enough as it is. A lot of people, they're like [??] you're not actually annoyed. You don't understand, right - a five kg family box of Crunchy Nut, you've seen these things right? They're not meant to be consumed by one person. I go down in the morning, I see the box of Crunchy Nut. I pour - nothing but powder.
P: Dan!
D: Who finished someone's cereal and then leaves the box in the cupboard? Who does that?
P: You've got to get better at hiding it!
D: You are not - I will kill you. I will.
P: IRL.
D: You ready?
P: It's about to go down.
D: Lets do it.

Their chosen answer: (?? cereal i think)
What's in Dan's Box?
- his browsing history
- his hair straighteners
- dan's first video
Wholesome Howell and X-Rated Lester
Dan - weird fanfiction (convinces you to spend time away from the internet)
Phil - heaven (you can't get wifi)
Dan - placenta (makes good shampoo)
Phil - 8000 cats (phil's allergic so he wouldn't be able to breathe, they'd suffocate you in a small room)
Dan - death (the worst thing about the planet is humanity)
Phil - visiting your grandma (grandmas are the worst.. wake up in the middle of the night, grandma in your room)
Friendship Test
Psychic Connections round - word: youtubers
P: AmazingPhil
D: [??]

Level Two: Phantastic Phacts
Dan's question: What year did Phil start dying his hair black?
D: Because as we all know, Phil is ginger.
P: Mousy brown! Mousy brown.
D: Phil's not a beautiful ginge. He's like a very boring shade of brown. That's what he has to cover up, dying your hair makes up for a lack of personality. That's just Phil.
P: I don't know the year but I know the age. So just say the age.
D: Phil. When you were on The Weakest Link, you were ginge. Okay. I'd say... 2008.
P: No!
D: Crud! When!
P: I started dying it when I was in sixth form so I was... 17!
D: Which was what year?
P: I don't know the year, I told you.
D: Then why were you ginger in The Weakest Link?
P: Because I let it grow out for a bit.

Phil's question: What brand of (??) does Dan wear?
P: I've just been into the- dressing room and seen it.
D: You feel very confident, make your decision mate.
P: Nivea for Men!
D: It's Nivea for Women! [buzzes him] Sorry, miss me with the musty smells. Fresh autumn, that's just how I roll.
P: I smell like... tires and ash. [something about man juice?]

Level Three: Dan, Phil, or a Rat
(Phil gets it wrong, Dan gets it wrong)

Final Round: Dan and Phil Dilemmas

Dan's dilemma: Phil is going to fall off a cliff but to save him you have to show the world your browsing history.
D: I mean.
P: It's a cliff, Dan.
D: Would you die if you fell off this cliff? Because my life would be over if you saw what was in those incognito tags.
P: Dan. It's a cliff, that's so high, I'd bounce over rocks.
D: You seem like a cat. Something that would just-
P: I seem like a cat?!
D: -would work its way out on the way down.
P: Twenty meters. Thirty five meters.
D: You have to give me your youtube channel because mine's probably getting deleted.
P: Yes.
D: Okay I would do it for you, Phil!

Phil's dilemma: You are no longer lactose intolerant, you can eat with no regrets. But Dan can never have cereal or ice cream ever again.
P: There's loads of other diary. You could have sorbet.
D: That's literally not dairy Phil.
P: I know, that's why you can have it.
D: Okay. Cereal. Ever again.
P: Toast.
D: This guy just wants to keep the Crunchy Nut to himself, doesn't he?
P: I do!
D: Don't care about my life.
P: I'm sorry, I'm gonna take the offer!
D: Are you serious- [gets buzzed]
Real Conversation Time

I want to make a youtube channel but I'm scared I'll only get one view [from my mum]
P: I think you shouldn't go into youtube, first of all, trying to get views. I think you should just make videos if you want to make videos or you're creatively inspired to.
D: I mean anything you do in life, if you're passionate about it and it's something you want to do you shouldn't judge it based on how many other people care about, you should do it because it makes you happy, and I think that's the only thing that should be motivating you.
P: Yeah, and I think that if you make a video and you can send it to some other family members. Then you could have a view from grandma as well.
D: You were making videos for how many years was it-
P: Two years.
D: Before you even had-
P: A hundred subscribers.
D: Exactly. And you weren't doing it for subscribers. You were doing it because you liked it, and look where Phil is now. [??] or go into the dog walking business.
P: Yeah, just - just give it a go. And if it doesn't work then at least you tried, if you don't in ten years you'll be like oh I wish I gave that a go but I was too scared.
D: No regrets!
Do you think there are other universe? How do you think they're different from our universe?
P: I think there are other universes out there.
D: Hit us, Phil. Pitch us your [??].
P: I think - I do believe in them. I believe there are other universe out there that mirror ours.
D: How are they different?
P: Well, there's one where you're called Phil and I'm called Dan.
D: That's too crazy. That would never happen. Can you imagine that universe? No.
P: There's one where the entire audience is on this stage and we're just sat there watching you. There's one where everyone's [??] fans. I think it could happen though, there are parts of science that have not been explained yet.
D: Like for example: what is up with Phil? The biggest question of our times.
P: And I think things like the large hadron collider, in my expert-
D: [??] thanks to all the mysteries of the universe [?? dan stop mumbling ffs]
P: it is, but that's the thing, since I was a kid I've been obsessed with space and space travel and universes and mysteries so I do like to think there are loads of things that haven't been discovered yet but will be in my lifetime.
D: Exactly.
P: And then I can go take a siesta on Mars, maybe.
D: Maybe, definitely.
P: Or other Mars, through the univrse gate.
D: Okay I think I'm going to have a full crisis right now, anyone else?
How do I ask my crush out? (We have never talked.)
P: I think talking is probably your first goal, so maybe see if you've got any common interest. Like overhear your crush talking-
D: Like Phil spying on his neighbors, just stand outside the door...
P: So say you're listening to the conversation and your crush is like wow, that anime was great - you could then have a watch of the anime and if you're in the line - wherever the line may be -
D: When you're in the line with your crush... so, have you seen that anime about lines, and they'll be like - ohhh- I think the thing Phil's trying to say is hopefully before you get like a really anime fanfiction is that you should never have a crush on someone if you don't like them as a person, that's an important first step.
P: It is.
D: It's okay but don't ever crush on someone and feel like you need to change yourself, it doesn't matter how cute you think someone is nothing's worth ever changing who you are to make someone like you. Nothing else matters, it doesn't matter if this crush blows out the window and you never seen them again - go for somebody that likes you for who you are, okay.
P: And if it doesn't go well, they're not worth it anyways.
D: Phil coming in with the good advice.

Post Reply