Interactive Introverts Fan Submitted Answer Segments (II SPOILERS!)

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Re: Interactive Introverts Fan Submitted Answer Segments (II SPOILERS!)

Post by alittledizzy » Tue Jun 05, 2018 6:23 pm

Amsterdam evening show - 2 June 2018

Intro Banter
D: To repeat what Phil has been saying for the past two days - Amsterdamn
P: I was told to stop using that pun.
D: Have you stopped saying that?
P: No.
D: We're very excited to be here. I mean, Phil, not just because he's excited to see you but he's consumed a lot of sugar today.
P: I have! I indulged a stroopwafel earlier.
D: You had two and a half.
P: Hey! I had to make sure I was getting the-
D: You know they come in packs of like, a lot? That's like - to keep in your cupboard, one serving ten stroopwafel, okay. [??] coma.
P: I can totally eat three in like, a burger.
D: Sandwich.
P: We also did something rare, we actually went outside in Amsterdam!
D: I know. Very scary. Made scarier by the fact that jesus christ the cyclists are out to kill you.
P: So many bikes!
D: The first time Phil had to cross a road, it was like come on just three two one don't walk into it, and Phil was like see that old lady cycling? She is gonna kill me.
P: She was! It's like playing a video game, I was like nope. Ughh.
D: [screams in a mocking way] It was funny. It was cool but violent and terrifying.
P: So I almost killed about seven of your citizens so I'm very sorry about that.
D: But no one died and neither did Phil and here we are!
Truth Bombs
Phil's question: What imaginary sport would Phil get a medal in?
- [dead houseplant something idk i heard the loki joke and lost the will to even type this out]

- accidentally murdering Dan
D: Accidental murder, is that a thing?
P: I am quite clumsy.
D: You are. You'd be walking along with a spoon and decapitate me, it could happen.
P: A spoon?! Well I was just [??] falls off the office chair every five minutes.
D: Yeah okay well perhaps I'll accidentally die filming a gaming video, or murder, sure, what's more likely.

- sports lmao
[banter about Phil not doing sports]
P: I could totally do a sport!
D: [sarcastic] Fine.
P: I could jump over this hexagon in one jump.
D: Okay, he just said that.
P: I would [something else about jumping]
D: This is not for health and safety, we are not insured-
P: Watch out, Olympics. Philly's in the house.
D: Shook. I feel like we came very close to seeing the live death of AmazingPhil. But you did it, congratulations!

Phil's chosen answer: houseplants

Dan's question: What is hidden in Dan's browsing history?
- fursuits for sale
D: Five minutes and furry joke, thank you.

- where is my buddy, i'm in london
D: Let me live! Please! I have so many traumas that you won't let me escape.
P: One day it won't be a joke and you'll be in the same place.

- shrek fanfic
P: What kind of fanfic is what I want to know.
D: I write it myself. Do you follow layers23 on wattpad? That's me. I'm like, it was a sleepy day in the swamp....
P: No!
D: [shrek voice] Donkey, can you come over here and scrub under me folds?
P: No folds!

Dan's chosen answer: shrek fanfic

Joint Dan and Phil question: how will they die?
- demonetization
P: Miriam! Too real! Especially with Dan's swearing.
D: There's a gaming video next week and we've had to bleep it, because otherwise oh my gosh - it wouldn't even get uploaded.
P: I think there's like nintey seven 'effs'-
D: It was very traumatizing, so look forward to that.

- Dan screaming and their heads will explode
D: Exactly. Does anyone here even have ears that work anymore after watching danandphilgames?
P: I still have ringing in this ear from you.

- falling off the stage in the next five minutes
D: Well we saw that, that nearly happened.
P: It is quite up high.
D: You're in the splash zone. You better be ready to catch him, because this could be it. Don't worry if you were underwhelmed by Phil successfully jumping over the hexagon, there's plenty of time for us to die. Look at how many obstacles there are.

Their chosen answer: demonetization
What's in Dan's Box?
- cereal (D: Dan's cereal. DAN'S cereal. Phil no touch.)
- panda
- fursuit
Who's on the wheel?
Wholesome Howell and X-Rated Lester
Dan - fanfic (inspires you to put down the phone; hamster fic mention)
Phil - cute animals (what if you woke up with a horse in your bed)
Dan - hello, internet (you need things in life to show you how far you've come)
Phil - infinite kittens (drown in them)
Dan - the apocalypse (being alive is hard sometimes, humans are plague upon the universe)
Phil - strong wifi (govt can see what you're doing even faster)
Friendship Test
Psychic Connections round - word: numbers
P: 17
D: 12

Level Two: Phantastic Phacts
Dan's question: Name three of Phil's pre-2008 videos
D: Okay, who here thinks they could do that? Thank you so much for uploading that video you uploaded yesterday.
P: Oh no! That's gonna be easy!
D: I'm gonna say... Snokoplasm...
P: Yeah...
D: What's another one... well I know there's one called The Basket...
P: There is.
D: And... alligator vs raccoon.
P: Yes!
D: I did it. I know everything. Original Phil stalker, thank you. Come for me, I will fight you. No, I'm kidding.

Phil's question: What kind of cake did Colin eat?
D: As you may know, at Christmas with my family last year me and my mother spent hours making a cake and then our dog frickin ate it.
P: I don't know-
D: I mean this was very iconic, everyone knows this. Oh, come on. What kind of cake did my dog eat?
P: Lemon and ginger!
D: What? No! It was a vegan caramel and almond praline cake, you idiot.

Level Three: Dan, Phil, or a Rat
(Phil gets it right, Dan gets it right)

Final Round: Dan and Phil Dilemmas

Dan's dilemma: Dan gets to be in Infinity War 4, but Phil gets thrown into a cheese pool
D: Okay that's exciting, get to mingle with Chris Evans.
P: No! I wouldn't like that at all!
D: That's like your literal nightmare, isn't it?
P: It is!
D: Drowning in a pool of cheese.
P: Don't throw me in a cheese pool.
D: You wouldn't necessarily die.
P: But I'd be sticky and sad.
D: You'd be sad and smell bad.
P: You'd ruin the Avengers.
D: Okay. You know what I say? Get in the pool, bitch. [gets buzzed] It was worth it! It was worth it.
P: Don't fade away.

Phil's dilemma: Phil gets one billion dollars (D: What a terrifying billionare Phil would be.) but dogs are now invisible to Dan.
D: I could never see dogs again.
P: But... it would be okay.
D: What the hell would you do with a billion dollars?
P: I'd strap two planes together and have a double plane.
D: What does that even mean?
P: Lets fine out.
D: You'd have to stop - Infinity Wars 4 would be about fricking stopping Phil.
P: I would build you a robotic dog and I would take the money.
D: [buzzes him]
Real Conversation Time

What should I name my new youtube channel about zoo animals?
D: That is the best idea - Phil has already subscribed.
P: I would totally subscribe to that. I think it's all about - my first advice would be it's a good thing you've got a theme for your youtube channel. You don't want to go into it like 'I'm just going to upload whatever and see what happens.' I would totally subscribe to a zoo animal channel.
D: You would. I mean, in life-
P: Zoo Animal Channel, that sounds pretty good.
D: Zoo Animal Channel. What kind of content would that be though? I feel like if it was Phil, if Phil in another timeline wasn't AmazingPhil he would just do hamster breeding tutorials. [starts to mock Phil's first video with the accent] Hello everyone, my name's Phil-
P: Dan! I see you know a lot about it.
D: She's feeling horny.
P: Dan!
D: [audience laughing over him]- twenty nine babies. [something about a timeline]
P: So my advice to you, I think first video go in with something good and exciting, don't just introduce everything you're gonna do on the channel-
D: Okay thank you Phil. When you start a youtube channel, don't do a big introduction video. [something I can't hear over audience laughing] Don't explain what you're gonna do and why, just do it, okay. Go straight in - be like here's a hamster, here's a hamster, bop.
P: Or here's my giant snake, lets [??].
D: [??] another animal. That ain't a channel. Start off with something strong, and you'll do fine.
I want to be a singer, but my parents want me to be a doctor - help!
D: It's like High School Musical, but with medicine.
P: Singing doctor.
D: Nobody wants that!
P: [singing] I'm cutting open, Time to open them up... [?? more singing]
D: [singing] I am very sorry [??] It's not a good idea, Phil.
P: Dan.
D: Nobody wants that.
P: Sincerely, I think you should really follow your dreams rather than doing everything your parents want you to do. I mean, if you totally don't want to be a doctor and that idea horrifies you five years down the line you're gonna end up not doing it anyway, because that's not what you want to do-
D: Not even five years down the line. Everyone thought, Dan, go to law school, how did that work out? Exactly. One year. One year was enough for me to go I'll pass, thank you very much. If you're not passionate about something you shouldn't do it, okay. And you should never have regrets, if you have a dream because you care about something or if you have a talent you want to share with the world, no matter what it is you have to try that first. Never go, oh I should do this because it's safe and maybe one day I'll live my dream. You have to go for it now.
P: Yes.
D: [audience clapping over him] Dan the lawyer is as good as singing doctor.
Is there anything you have ever really regretted in your life, apart from [??]
D: Lets see. It was 2006. I went to youtube dot com. What name should I write, I said? dan is not on fire. I joke about that a lot, ugh cringe things in my past I regret, but we can't help everything that happens in our lives, and we can't always just look back and be like 'oh I wish that didn't happen' because everything that happened led you to where you are now. If I didn't call my youtube channel danisnotonfire and sell an axe to a five year old and drop out of law school, I wouldn't be here now! So embrace everything that's ever gone wrong in your life. Most of the time there's something to learn from it. Most of the time.
P: There you go. Embrace the past cringe.
Thanks to human for providing the show audio!

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Re: Interactive Introverts Fan Submitted Answer Segments (II SPOILERS!)

Post by alittledizzy » Wed Jun 06, 2018 1:13 am

Moscow - 5 June 2018

Intro Banter
D: Phil would like to say something.
P: Privet! [hello]
D: Okay, calm down, lets be honest. Was that good? [audience screams yes/cheers] Alright! Good Phil, alright!
P: I spent so long googling that, I need to get it right for you guys!
D: Phil spent like twenty minutes [repeats Phil saying it wrong a few times] what he was originally trying to learn was zdravstvuyte [formal hello] but Phil was like spaghetti... stressed out? So that's as good as it's gonna get, and if we get any of your names so wrong tonight - we're trying.
P: We're trying our best!
D: But we're really stupid.
P: So I was shocked that it was actually warm yesterday when we went out!
D: I know, yeah!
P: For some reason in my head it was like, snow and bears and wolves everywhere-
D: It's June, Phil. No matter where you are on earth, it's June still.
P: True.
D: Phil's like, where's the bears? i'm like, that's offensive.
P: They're hibernating.
D: I'm just saying, if anyone wants to release a bear into the room, that would make Phil very excited.
P: It would. I'll look forward to that.
D: That's how you can improve the day.
P: Yeah! So, welcome to the show.
Truth Bombs
Phil's question: What imaginary sport would Phil get a medal in?
- killing plants
D: Wow, really.
P: My children.
D: He feels so sad about that, okay? He can't keep them alive.
P: I can't! I try so hard.
D: You have a cactus called Loki. How is this cactus right now?
P: Oh... he's gone a bit crispy.
D: He's dead. Phil's cactus is dead af. While we're on tour, no one is watering our plants for us. Just think about that right now.

- the fastest theft of cornflakes at night
D: Yes! Cereal thief.
P: I'm a growing boy! I need my sustenance, I need to eat.
D: You better not be growing, you're already too tall.
P: My grandma says I need to.
D: Any excuse for him to be a thief, honestly.

- being a lil' nerd
P: Ugh! Is that sport?
D: Yeah.
P: Can I just watch anime by going over hurdles at the same time?
D: If Phil was a nerd, he'd get a gold medal.

Phil's chosen answer: killing plants

Dan's question: What is hidden in Dan's browsing history?
- how to choose your fursona?
D: There it is. There it is. We've been here for five minutes and you're already making furry jokes. Thank you, everybody.
P: Which fluffy animal will Dan be?

- placenta shampoo for sale
P: Ohh.
D: Really?
P: Ohhh.
D: Let me escape my past, please!
P: The old branding!
D: It's supposed to be good for you, though...
P: Stop.
D: You know, you see an animal give birth, a little placenta slides out, rub it on your face-
P: Noooo.
D: It's - they sell that.

- tentacle extravaganza
P: Do I want to know?
D: It's a sushi restaurant!
P: [disbelieving] Really?
D: Yes.
P: Are you sure?
D: Don't google that.

Dan's chosen answer: placenta shampoo

Joint Dan and Phil question: If they released a fragrance, what would it be called?
- The Amazing Fragrance is Not on Fire
D: That is how creative we are, okay. That is probably what it would actually be called.
P: That's what we're going to name everything from now on, isn't it?
D: Probably.

- eau du philussy
D: Eerrghh, ughhh.
P: That's weird.
D: No!
P: Tanya.
D: Anything I think is terrible. That was a mistake.

- Fishy Friendships
D: Why do we smell like fish? It's all the tentacle extravagana that I google.
P: It might be. I thought I was quite a fragrant lad, but apparently not.
D: Not in a good way.
P: No.

Their chosen answer: eau du philussy
What's in Dan's Box?
Who's on the wheel?
Wholesome Howell and X-Rated Lester
Dan - death of pandas (they're useless, won't eat or have sex)
Phil - bts (too perfect, you compare yourself to them and think you're worthless)
Dan - old memes (old memes make you close to your family, like if you have your mum added on facebook)
Phil - cute corgi butts (so cute it hurts you inside, might be a million of them and you drown)
Dan - stealing cereal (murder should be illegal bc of cereal stealing)
Phil - world peace (need war so we can go to space)
Friendship Test
Psychic Connections round - word: countries
P: Spain
D: Sweden

Level Two: Phantastic Phacts
Dan's question: What was Phil's childhood nickname?
P: So what did my family call me around the house when I was a kid? My childhood nickname?
D: I have a theory... I think I know this, it's weird. I heard your brother say it once. That they call you... Dib.
P: No!
D: Yes it is! What!
P: It's Dibs!
D: Really. Really. Really. Really. Okay, that's how it's gonna be? I'm gonna shock you right now, I will electrocute you-
P: No! You got the s wrong!
D: The s! The s!
P: When I was a kid I couldn't say Philip-
D: I know when you were a kid you couldn't say Philip so you'd just go Dibit.
P: I'd call myself Dibit. So-
D: Where's the s in Dibit!
P: ... your mum.

Phil's question: What was Dan's favorite subject in school?
P: Dan's favorite class...
D: What you thinking here, Phil?
P: Something that requires less effort and less writing, I think.
D: Oh, interesting. What are you gonna say? Put out your arm, make a choice.
P: Drama!
D: Damnit! That's cheating, it was in the book.
P: You love the drama.
D: You know that I'm holding [the buzzer], right?
P: I'm holding it, too!
D: Yeah, but I'm playing fair.
P: Okay.
D: This is Mr. All or Nothing. He doesn't care, he just wants to win.

Level Three: Dan, Phil, or a Rat
(Phil gets it wrong, Dan gets it right)

Final Round: Dan and Phil Dilemmas

Dan's dilemma: Phil will always have the perfect quiff, but you have to have 2011 square hair forever.
D: No. No. That is too far.
P: But I would have the perfect quiff!
D: You don't need the perfect quiff!
P: But I do! It gives me confidence.
D: Look at him right now. Mess. Honestly. Oh my gosh. Honestly, should anyone be subjected to having my square hair, it's too far.
P: Really? You're gonna say no?
D: I am not gonna do that, no!
P: Bad friend!

Phil's dilemma: Dan will never have an existential crisis again, but Phil has to stop watching Game of Thrones.
P: No! It's my favorite show!
D: That or my happiness Phil?
P: But Dan! Existential crisises give you video inspiration!
D: I hardly upload anyway, no one would notice the difference.
P: I think-
D: Take this seriously, okay. People - they don't want you to mess around. They want to see the true-
P: Fine, okay.
D: What would you actually do?
P: I would save you.
D: Aww - damnit. I wanted to electrocute him.
Real Conversation Time

What was your favorite video to film?
D: Favorite video to film. Ever?
P: Ever.
D: Ooh. Do you have an answer for that?
P: One of my favorites is the photobooth challenge.
D: Photobooth challenge. Does anybody here like the photobooth challenge? We were editing that and we were crying laughing.
P: Honestly. It was so fun.
D: I think it will always be the funniest video I will ever make. It was just so stupid and it was amazing.
P: Yeah. Whenever I get a day where I just want to laugh, I just go back to that video. It makes me laugh so much, it's so stupid.
D: I think mine was obviously Dan and Phil and Dogs. I don't know- it was two days of just being in a room and then a dog would run in and I'd be like AHHH. My life peaked when we filmed that video.
P: It was so fun. So many dogs.
D: So many dogs. So little time.
I saw you went outside. What did you like best about Moscow?
P: Obviously, whenever it comes to visiting a place my favorite thing is usually going to get some food.
D: I thought you were gonna be like, my favorite thing is the people.
P: Of course, you guys!
D: No, Phil's favorite thing - it's the food. It's the food. He's being honest.
P: I had some dank dumplings.
D: You did, that's good. Literally, I went somewhere and had borscht for the first time. [audience cheers] I was like, I'm gonna have borscht - and they were like, ew. But I liked it, I don't know about you. I was wearing a white jumper-
P: That was a bad idea.
D: Bad move. It's a purple jumper now. I was very slurpy with it, I didn't have much self control. I was like oh this is nice [snorting/slurping noise]. It was complete destruction head to toe. I had a good time.
P: Yeah, I had a good time.
D: Though you went into a gift shop and you went kind of crazy.
P: i did, I saw all the Russian dolls, the matryoshka dolls. [audience screams]. So I got loads of souvinirs, and someone showed me one that had twenty four dolls-
D: Okay what happened was, Phil went up to the guy that owned the shop and went, what's the biggest doll and the guy was like, it's this one and the guy was like maybe he will buy it, ooh very exciting. Phil made him take out every single doll- and it got to the point where he was like, taking his fingernails and [Dan says something in a voice too high for me to decipher] and then Phil was like, wow, thanks, and just left. Are you kidding me?
P: I bought a smaller doll!
D: That man was so excited, Phil was like and I'll have this one for three rubles.
I'm worried about being shy at a new school.
P: I think that's a fear that a lot of people share when starting any kind of new place, like a new place of work, school, university.
D: Terrifying. Meeting new people. [scared gasp]
P: The thing is when you start a new place, you have this feeling like everyone's looking at you and everyone's judging you. Really, they're just like, exciting it's a new person. And if you speak to someone that seems like a new person they'll be like, oh, Kim seems nice! So-
D: The thing is, everyone - you always think that I'm really scared but no one else is. If you're ever in a new situation, everybody feels exactly the same so you just need to think it's not just me being nervous or being awkward, literally everybody is nervous and awkward. Not as much as me, but pretty awkward. So I think that you just need to think that you're in the same boat as everyone else.
P: Yeah, and the thing is when I was starting university, I kind of regret not joining lots of the clubs that were on offer.
D: What club would you join now if you could go back to university?
P: Pancake club.
D: Pancake club. Okay, that's fine. Who here would join pancake club if they could? [audience cheers] Phil, you just made so many friends.
P: Or like the film club, I should have joined that. But I think things like that are a great opportunity to make friends with similar interests as well.
Thank you to polenopoletelo and one other person who wishes to remain uncredited for providing show audio!

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Re: Interactive Introverts Fan Submitted Answer Segments (II SPOILERS!)

Post by alittledizzy » Wed Jun 06, 2018 10:31 pm

Moscow - 6 June 2018

Intro Banter
D: If you see that Phil is vibrating with power today, it's because he is frickin' zazzed because of something he ate earlier.
P: I'm zazzed off the dumplings!
D: Phil - okay, you don't understand, okay. We went somewhere for lunch and I was like, what shoudl I get, pizza, dunno? And Phil was like [shocked happy gasp] THEY HAVE DUMPLINGS!!
P: I was so excited!
D: And I was like, okay, are dumplings that exciting? I mean [audience cheers].
P: Yeah.
D: You're full of culture right now. All that potato-y goodness.
P: Yeah.
D: Just settling in your stomach right now.
P: It is.
D: It could come back up.
P: Also we did something very un-Dan and Phil today.
D: We did, we went to the official World Cup football shop. [audience cheers] Why the hell would we do that? I literally just went so I could get a plushie mascot. What's his name? [audience cheers; someone throws one on stage] Okay, we didn't script that.
P: That was like magic.
D: Yeah, exactly. Zabivaka.
P: What was his name? Zabivaka
D: Now we don't have to fight over him, thank you! Should we just throw that back- we love you, but still- I was fangirling hard, because they had like a big one-
P: A giant one.
D: It was like this big and I was like [mock screaming] I was very emotional.
P: I've also been trying to learn my Russian. I know privet!
D: That's the only word he tried to learn.
P: That's the only-
D: And he's been saying it all day, for about three days. So that is practiced.
P: To everyone I see I'm just like privet, privet.
D: What do you want for lunch, Phil? Privet. [audience screams] But we are very excited to be here.
P: Yes!
D: I think we said to some people yesterday, we were expecting kind of like blizzards and like, bears-
P: And wolves.
D: -running around, but then we came here and there's just nice people.
P: Thre are!
D: Though Phil wishes that a bear could be seen-
P: I would love to see a bear.
D: So if any of you have an actual bear that you want to throw on stage, that would be great.
P: Yes.
D: Ride it around.
P: Bit weird.
D: Eat Phil.
P: Hey!
Truth Bombs
Phil's question: Come up with a slogan for Phil's youtube channel.
- videos safe for your grandad
P: Yes!
D: That's true. Phil, he's just an angel smol bean that's never done anything wrong. Your grandad will love it.
P: Yes. Totally. Get them to subscribe.
D: Just an army of grandads watching Phil's videos.
P: Please!
D: That's what Phil wants. That's who he's doing it for.

- come for the weird content, stay for the weird content
P: I like that! I don't think that's a roast, I'd totally use that as a banner.
D: What like - I'm weird, deal with it.
P: Yeah!
D: Sure, that could be Phil. I think that describes him.

- soft as pajamas, polite as ya mommas
P: You even got a mum joke in there!
D: You even got a your mum joke, that's incredible.
P: Yeah!
D: You'll see that on Phil's youtube banner next week. Soft - what was it? I was about to say your mum.
P: No.
D: Polite as your mum.
P: Give me the buttons.
D: I don't know how soft your mum is, okay. That would be a really weird thing for me-
P: Stop.
D: I mean, I'm sure she is soft, not in like a weird way.
P: Dan.
D: I'll stop talking. I'll stop talking.

Phil's chosen answer: soft as pajamas

Dan's question: What job would Dan have if youtube didn't exist?
- funeral director
P: The colors that you wear... it's only black.
D: I have so many uniforms ready to be a funeral director.
P: Ready to go.

- literally homeless
D: It's true. That is the correct answer. I have no employable skills.
P: No.
D: Honestly. I have zero talent. So that would be good - oh but actually, sleeping.
P: That'd be useful.

- a lawyer, oh wait, never mind
D: Really, really? Okay, make fun of how I dropped out university. It's true, it's a fact.
P: Well, you could still be a lawyer.
D: Can you imagine? Me as a lawyer? I don't think that'd be- it's like, 'it's started, where is he?' he's at home lying face down on the floor. I wouldn't be a good lawyer.

Dan's chosen answer: funeral director

Joint Dan and Phil question: If Dan and Phil released a fragrance, what would it be called?

D: What do Dan and Phil smell like?
P: I smell pretty fresh. A little bit like a dumpling.
D: Okay, yeah. Mostly of dumplings. What's what Phil smells like.

- the phragrance.
D: We are that creative. That's probably what we'd call it.
P: That'd be good.
D: What would that smell of, though? I don't want to know.
P: Lets see what the next one is.
D: Sugar, and whatever was on your floor.

- rotting houseplants
P: I feel like that was a burn on me. My children!
D: [it's the same answer about houseplants except dan doesn't use the words "loki the cactus" so point to him]

- lady door
D: The smell of lady door? [screeches] Okay that's enough of that.

Their chosen answer: rotting houseplants
What's in Dan's Box?
Who's on the wheel?
Wholesome Howell and X-Rated Lester
Dan - killing your friends (murder should be legal when someone steals your cereal)
Phil - ice cream (what if the theater filled and people drowned)
Dan - oversleeping (oversleeping should be a sport, you should try to go full circle)
Phil - free wifi (the government can secretly be watching you, FBI agent)
Dan - movie spoilers (sometimes something is so emotional it destroys you, if someone spoils you you can protect yourself)
Phil - eternal life (all your favorite things would go away or get replaced; you'd have to watch every member of bts die of old age)
Friendship Test
Psychic Connections round - word: reasons to call the police
P: house is on fire
D: [??]

Level Two: Phantastic Phacts
Dan's question: What is Phil's favorite meme?
D: Okay... I have a theory... right, I'm ready: Yee.
P: It is yee!
D: You could have lied.
P: Russia made it so nice with the communal yee.

Phil's question: What was Dan's second video?
P: Oh my gosh.
D: True danisnotonfire trivia.
P: Ultimate Dan trivia.
D: What was the second video?
P: It was... Procrastination!
D: No! [buzzes him] It was Butterfingers! The first ever reasons why Dan's a fail, about me dropping things.

Level Three: Dan, Phil, or a Rat
(Phil gets it wrong,

Final Round: Dan and Phil Dilemmas

Dan's dilemma: Phil gets to summon dogs whenever he wants, but Dan has to say hello with hand brackets to everyone he meets.
P: Hi, my name is [ dan ].
D: That would be like if I came out on stage, it would be like welcome - [makes really pained noises]. What would you - you'd have to be responsible for these dogs.
P: I would, I'd give them to the audience. Release them. [audience cheers]
D: They didn't sign up for that commitment, okay.
P: Then you're not going to give it to me?
D: No, I'm not going to give that to you! Shut up, I'm not going to give that to you. [gets zapped]
P: Bad friend!
D: You cannot be trusted with that, okay. I'm saving the world. Phil would just fall asleep summoning dogs and we'd all be drowning in Shiba Inus. [audience cheers] That's like drowning in the ice cream, that would be a great way to die. When I'm nintey, smother me with a Shiba Inu.

Phil's dilemma: Dan has the power to stop time, but Phil's quiff is forever droopy.
D: If Phil had a droopy quiff-
P: That would be terrible!
D: -that's basically the emo fringe.
P: Dan, I don't think you can be trusted with the power to stop time. I think you'd stop it, and fall asleep forever we'd all just be like this [poses].
D: I'd pause time and then oversleep and the universe would end. But what, are you - are you really saying -
P: Not having it! [gets buzzed]
Real Conversation Time

My boyfriend doesn't want to watch anime with me.
P: End it now!
D: If you can't find someone that loves anime, ditch them.
P: I'd say that's what internet friends are for!
D: Exactly. If you don't know anyone in real life that shares your weird interests, I think - you know - Phil just yee'd and then two thousand people yee'd at the same time. What that shows is that there is a weirdo out there for literally anybody.
P: There is.
D: Never settle for someone that doesn't like anime. If you can't cuddle up and cry watching Yuri on Ice, then don't [crowd screams over him] That's what I say. Did we just tell them to break up?
P: I don't know. There are loads of people in this room with similar interests, so maybe after the show you could be like hey, what's your twitter? Lets be friends.
D: Do you like anime? Lemme slide into those DMs.
Any tips for not getting fired from my new job?
D: I am the person to come to. Don't sell axes to children. That's a good one. Don't press the panic button. That's a good one.
P: Don't go to sleep under a desk.
D: I mean. Don't know why anyone would ever do these... but don't fall asleep under a table, those are all good tips right there.
P: I'd say, when you're starting a job I think you might be scared to ask questions-
D: Yes.
P: -to people that are showing you stuff, but that's the perfect time, the first week, to ask all of the questions. Don't be afraid.
D: Yeah, don't be scared to ask questions. Because I didn't do that. I used to work in a hardware store where people would buy like drills and important stuff, and people would come up to me and hello my sink has exploded, my family is in danger, what should I do? I didn't know, so I'd be like - you need... this. And then I'd run away as quickly as possible.
P: That was terrible!
D: I probably murdered like ten people, literally. So Phil, you're right. When in doubt, just ask for help.
P: And everybody's had the first day. So even the boss there had a first day one day, so don't worry about it too much. Good luck with the job!
D: Good luck! I'm sure you'll be better at it than anything I've ever done.
What has been your favorite thing about Russia?
D: I'm sure that Phil has - okay, go on, just say it.
P: The food. [audience screaming]
D: Some people looked at us and they were like, Russian food? I'm like, okay, do you know what British food is? Pies and fish. It's not that good. I love the Russian food.
P: I've heard that Russian pancakes are amazing and I haven't gotten around to trying them yet.
D: I had my first borscht the day before yesterday. Let me say this, I was wearing a white shirt when I ate it-
P: Bad idea.
D: It's a purple shirt now. Nobody warned me. I was like oh, this is fun.
P: So that's a thing. But also - you guys!
D: This is the thing - people, they always stereotype countries based on stupid stuff that you read on the internet or you hear in the news and people are always like - you know, but it's the same, people are like - what are British people like, what are Americans like, ew Americans- Russian people- and it's like, we met all of you and you're all so nice! We just want you to know, okay, that we've come here and we've seen all of you and, okay, the Russia that we've seen - which is all of you here - we love it. So thank you. We appreciate that.
P: We do.
Thank you to polenopoletelo and one other person who wishes to remain uncredited for providing show audio!

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Re: Interactive Introverts Fan Submitted Answer Segments (II SPOILERS!)

Post by alittledizzy » Sun Jun 10, 2018 9:03 pm

Berlin - 9 June 2018

Intro Banter
P: Hallo!
D: That's correct. Big difference, okay, we need to respect your language here.
P: I've been trying to use the German that I learned in school.
D: Are you ready for this? Phil. Show off.
P: Hallo, mein Name ist Phil und du bist schön. [Hello, my name is Phil and you're beautiful.]
D: That's - that's funny.
P: Dan ist ein Igel. [Dan a a hedgehog.]
D: Phil is kaputt. [probably meaning weird/broken though also translated to 'Phil is very tired.] That explains everything, and that is the extent of our German. Can I just say thank you all for coming outside on this particularly moist day?
P: So moist.
D: I'm feeling very sticky right now. You can see my nipples through this shirt sometimes, so today - it's gonna be complete x-ray vision so I hope you're ready for that. I'm sorry if that happens. But no, we've had fun. It was quite a difficult time for Phil, going outside.
P: It was.
D: In this sunlight.
P: I had to put level one thousand sunscreen on so I didn't set on fire.
D: Phil has to put on SPF50 just to be under room light, so going outside is very dangerous. He almost didn't make it here, okay. But we experienced all the culture yesterday.
P: We did. I am totally zazzed off currywurst.
D: We did. Phil, he - I was about to say he gobbled that sausage down. He did.
P: Never say that.
D: I'll never say that again, but I saw that happen and he loved it, okay.
P: Gosh. Wow.
D: On a day like this, sitting quite heavy. Hope you're ready to catch a sausage at any moment. I'm already ruining the show-
P: You are!
D: - and it's just begun.
Truth Bombs
Phil's question: What form of torture would make Phil confess everything?
- Sprinkling cheese into his mouth until he can't take it.
P: There's something so sinister about sprinkling it!
D: You're strapped to a chair, they've just got some shreds of mozarella going [motions]. You would confess in like seven seconds.
P: I would.

- eating Haribo in front of him
P: What!
D: That's true.
P: Who would do that?
D: Just open a packet of gummy bears and just be like, mm [smacking sound]. Phil would be like - noooo, give me the bears.
P: Isn't Germany the birthplace of Haribo?
D: Yes. And that is all Phil cares about, literally.
P: That's why I love you guys.
D: So much culture for thousands of years. You made Haribo? COOL.

- slowly stroking his feet with a feather
P: I'm so ticklish, that would be horrendous!
D: The word slowly-
P: Slowly!
D: -just adds so much to that. It's not just like going at it, it's like - shh, Phil.
P: Oh no! For some reason in my mind they're slowly plucking it of a goose as well.
D: Phil's mind, just taking us to darker places.

Phil's chosen answer: sprinkling cheese into his mouth

Dan's question: What is hidden in Dan's browsing history?
- fursuits for sale
D: There it is. I've bene here for ten minutes and we're already on the furry jokes. Thank you everyobody, that's great. Not in this weather.
P: No. That would be warm.
D: Don't leave your furry in a car without the window open, okay.

- Where can I buy black cereal?
P: It's too bright for your soul.
D: My cornflakes aren't edgy enough. That's me every morning.

- Shrek fanfiction
P: Please tell me that's innocent fanfiction.
D: I have a secret wattpad account, and trust me - it was a steamy day in the swamp... Donkey walked in wearing a thong-
P: No! You need to stop.
D: [Shrek voice] Donkey, want to scrub between my layers?
P: Daniel!
D: It's out there on tumblr, okay. You can find it.
P: Jesus.
D: It's ten thousand words long.

Dan's chosen answer: black cereal

Joint Dan and Phil question: What would a documentary about their lives be called?

- The Amazing Documentary is Not on Fire
D: Okay yeah that's good. We are that creative, okay.
P: Totally.
D: That's coming. Okay. TADINOF.

- literally just two nerds on a couch
P: I feel like that's very honest.
D: That is 90% of our life, definitely.

- what a mistake
P: Lisa! I mean, she's not wrong, are they.
D: What's a mistake? Me wearing this nipply shirt on stage when it's 32 degrees, many examples.

Their chosen answer: what a mistake
What's in Dan's Box?
- pride flag
D: Awww, that's nice! Though, what I am doing with it that I lock it in a box...
P: Why is it in a box?
D: That's weird. Hopefully something respectful, okay.
P: Hope so.

- collection of Haru figures
D: Tiny plastic figurines of a Japanese boy that does swimming, okay.
P: Figurines.
D: Why am I locking those in a box? Some anime figurines.
P: Figures.
D: I have a good hobby.

- the rarest memes
D: The memes so rare I have to protect them.
P: Protect those memes.
D: I burn them to a CD that I keep next to my pride flag and figurines.
Who's on the wheel?
Wholesome Howell and X-Rated Lester
Dan - going bald (hairless whale creatures)
Phil - brenden urie (so beautiful it hurts your eyes and they fall out)
Dan - killing your best friend (they steal your breakfast)
Phil - smell of spring (wasps)
Dan - earth being destroyed (humans are worst thing abouth umanity
Phil - room full of puppies (infinite puppies, drowning)
Friendship Test
Psychic Connections round - word: hobbies
P: stamp collecting
D: model train set

Level Two: Phantastic Phacts
Dan's question: What was Phil's character's name in his Viking movie?
D: What the hell? How am I supposed to know that? Okay.
P: Hey!
D: So if you don't know, Phil was in some weird movie like ten years ago.
P: I was!
D: That was the reason he had like, long caveman hair.
P: My acting debut! But what was my name in the movie?
D: I don't know!
P: I had like three names.
D: God, fake fan, Jesus. Right... Kreed.
P: No!
D: What?
P: Tim!
D: Tim. Right, like I'm remember that. What an amazing name, Tim, sure.
P: Exactly. He's still a part of me now.
D: Well, I don't care.

Phil's question: How old was Dan the first time he got wasted?
P: Got wasted?! My gosh.
D: There's actually a really good answer for this.
P: Drink responsibly, people.
D: Well, we're about to find out. What was the first time that I made a really bad decision, Phil?
P: When you were... 19!
D: Nineteen? No, Phil. I was ten. [buzzes him]
P: Ten?! What kind of child were you?
D: Okay, no, there's an innocent story, don't judge me.
P: I'm judging.
D: It was my grandma's fortieth wedding anniversary.
P: Yeah.
D: And everyone was having like, champagne, but I was a child. And my parents were like, you can have a little. But you know when they're like, you can have a little-
P: Have a taste.
D: Pour yourself a little bit. I didn't know that champagne was supposed to be in like, little champagne flutes, so I got a massive beer mug out of the wardrobe.
P: My gosh!
D: I filled the - I had a pint of champagne.
P: As a ten year old?!
D: It tasted like frickin' Sprite. I was like [glugs]. Ten minutes later [barfing noise]. So like, don't do that. In case any of you think that that's a bad influence, I'm saying literally, don't do that, okay.
P: Bad idea.
D: Bad times.

Level Three: Dan, Phil, or a Rat
(Phil gets it wrong, Dan gets it wrong)

Final Round: Dan and Phil Dilemmas

Dan's dilemma: Phil will never touch your cereal again, but everyone will call you dani snot on fire forever.
D: Nooo! Let me live! Please!
P: what do you think?
D: Oh my god, okay - how? No. That would ruin my entire life. All of my entire life is already ruined, which makes me think how much more ruined can it get?
P: Are you gonna take it? Decide.
D: No! [gets buzzed]

Phil's dilemma: Dan is about to be abducted by probe-y aliens, but in order to save him Phil can never wear color again.
P: But that's my favorite thing to wear!
D: An all black Phil, can you imagine that?
P: Oh my gosh.
D: I'm about to get probed. I am wearing skinny jeans, that would be very hard. But I'm sure they'd give it a go.
P: But you might get pregnant like Dil, it might be fun.
D: Fun? Fun, yes. Ass pregnant. That's fun, right. [audience cheers] Really? Like, Phil, take-
P: Okay, I'll take it seriously.
D: Take it seriously. I'm gonna get probed. You have to wear black. People, they think you look cool in black.
P: I wouldn't let them probe you, Dan.
D: Aw, yes, thank you Phil.
Real Conversation Time

How do you get inspired for your video ideas?
P: So, I'm wondering if you've got some kind of creative block, because that happens to everyone. And I think when that happens, if you try and think about an idea too hard and you're just like, today I'm going to have an idea.
D: Yeah, what should I draw about, what do I write about, what should I film a youtube video about.
P: That's just not how it works, so I think you've got to think about it in a different way, maybe talk to someone about your ideas, do something different like right things down. I know it sounds crazy, but - go for a walk.
D: Phil, you crossed the line there, okay. But I mean, there's a lot of crazy stuff that happens to you on AmazingPhil.
P: Exactly.
D: What's, what's the inspiration for that?
P: Well, I take inspiration from my every day life, so-
D: This stuff just happens to Phil, okay.
P: It does.
D: You wonder like, how does he get bitten by squirrels and holy mothers- Phil attracts it.
P: I do attract it.
D: He's a weirdo magnet.
P: But I think if you're making a youtube channel, just make something you feel inspired to make.
D: Do something you know a lot about. Like for me, existential suffering. It comes easy! What am I inspired to make a video about? Something I regret. There's so many things on that list.
P: Yeah. I think if you do something you're inspired by, rather than something you're forcing or you're just trying to make like another youtuber, I think it'll go a lot easier for you as well.
D: Yeah, yes Phil. Only do things that you're passionate about if you're being creative. Good advice.
I'm terrified of starting university. Any tips?
D: I mean, any time you like, get a new job or go to a knew school or go into university, there is that terrifying 'oh my god, I have to introduce myself to new people.'
P: Yeah. But I think the thing you need to keep in your mind is, everybody's going to be in the same boat.
D: Yes, exactly.
P: Or in the same situation. So when you're starting university, there's like a golden three weeks where you can chat to other people and they'll be happy that you're talking to them. Because they're like, I'm scared too, I don't have any friends, I don't know who anyone is.
D: You always feel like, when you're in a room full of people that everyone's staring at you, but the thing is that everybody - even like, in this room tonight - people are only thinking about their own lives. So if you're ever thinking, I'm really scared and no one else is, that's just me. It's probably everybody's feeling exactly the same. So the sooner you realize that as much as you're suffering internally, everybody is! [audience cheers] That was a worryingly popular reaction.
P: Some advice I was given is that if you're moving into halls with others students, keep your door open and have a box of Haribo there so when someone's moving in you can be like, hello friend, would you like a Haribo?
D: Bribe them with sweets and then people will like you. Good advice, Phil!
You guys are so clumsy. Any recent near death experiences?
P: I had a few in Berlin by walking into the cycle path by accident.
D: Yeah, okay. Just saying, the cycle path could be clearer defined, okay.
P: It could!
D: Because we're walking along and someone's like, ding! ding! And Phil's like - uhhh. Literally nearly got murdered like ten times.
P: We did! I was on my phone just like, looking at some selfies I took when suddenly someone's like, 'Get out of the way!' and I was like, arrghh! So I almost caused the death of about nine cyclists.
D: Also the sun. That was a near death experience.
P: Yes. I did almost set on fire. I've done okay, I've just got a few extra freckles, actually.
D: Aw, that's good, that's fine. You can't go outside for like two years.
P: I can't.
D: You've just done yourself in.
P: And I might all off this stage tonight.
D: Yes, there is plenty of time for clumsy Phil to still trip and die.
Thank you to theseclouds for providing show audio, and schiefergrau for some translation assistance!

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Re: Interactive Introverts Fan Submitted Answer Segments (II SPOILERS!)

Post by alittledizzy » Tue Jun 12, 2018 3:06 pm

Warsaw matinee show - 11 June 2018

Intro Banter
P: First of all, we are fully zazzed off some pierogi.
D: We are! I'm not messing around, okay. This is the first time either of us have been to Poland, so it's a big deal. We're so excited because we know that there are so many people that live here or nearby that are like, "Nobody ever comes here!" Okay - no, I don't care if it's on my birthday, I will be there for you. We did make the most of it, I mean what was - the pierogi?
P: The pierogi!
D: I mean anything that you fry and cover in butter I was like, yes. Yes. So I'm like, very bloated right now. But in a happy way.
P: In a good way. I've also been trying to learn some polish: Dzień dobry! [Good afternoon] I was so worried that was wrong!
D: I was I promise we are trying not to destroy your language or your culture today. Actually, no, we can't promise anything.
P: But today is also a special day, as it's Dan's birthday!
D: Yes. I just need to ask - is it okay if I wear this hat the entire time. Because... it's a look. Thank you.
P: I think we should sing happy birthday to Dan!
D: It's in English, that's not fair.
P: Let's do it. [Phil and audience sing]
D: Thank you, that was beautiful, wow. You can sing really well, as a country.
Audience: [sings in Polish]
P: That was amazing!
D: That was so much better than English happy birthday. English happy birthday is shaking right now, honestly. You just snatched that.
P: What a warm welcome.
Truth Bombs
Phil's question: What imaginary sport would Phil get a medal in?
- being the palest man on the planet
P: I mean, I do relfect light.
D: It is warm in Warsaw today. Phil had to wear SPF 50 just to get a coffee earlier.
P: But how is that a sport? Do I just have to dodge all the sunlight?
D: I think so.

- competitive cereal stealing
D: Yes! Thank you! I know that. Phil's never done exercise, but he is creeping around in the middle of the night to go [snorts] to crunch my cornflakes.
P: Dan! As my grandma says, I'm a growing boy.
D: You better not be.

- houseplant killing

Phil's chosen answer: houseplant killing

Dan's question: What job would Dan have if youtube didn't exist?
- Definitely not a lawyer.
D: Okay, okay. What's the limit on too soon?
P: Oh my gosh.
D: I tried! I had some thicc books okay. They were thic-c-c-c-c and I was like, I can't deal with this.

- freelance furry deviant artist
D: Okay, there it is, whose drawing that weird Sonic the Hedgehog stuff? It's me.
P: It's Dan.
D: Thank you very much. I have fifteen secret accounts.
P: Wow.

- an axe seller (probs to a child)
D: There it is, thank you. Bring up the actual time I actually got fired. I mean, that's funny.
P: I would fire you for that as well.
D: What - you would fire me for that? I mean it was dangerous. They say learn from your mistakes? Don't fall asleep under tables, or sell axes to children. That's the message I have to spread.

Dan's chosen answer: axe seller

Joint Dan and Phil question: If they released a fragrance, what would it be called?
D: A question people on weird forums have been asking for years.
- phanvilla
D: Yeah. And if we had to name our own fragrance, we would be that frangance, okay? It would probably be like, The Amazing Smell is Not on Fire.
P: Oh my gosh. The next one-
D: That would smell nice.

- eau du lady door
D: What does that smell like! No, okay, lets just-
P: Oh my gosh.
D: Lets move on from that very fast.

- the sweet scent of regret
D: Me literally right now.

Their chosen answer: the sweet scent of regret
What's in Dan's Box?
- Dan's furry boyfriend
D: In this box?! Are you okay-
P: Are there any holes??
D: He dead. He is - my furry boyfriend is crispy like Phil's cactus. That is - oh, jesus. Well, I'm hiding the shame inside this box.

- his phone
D: What is on my phone that I have to lock it in-
P: That's what I want to know.
D: Obviously something I was doing with my furry friend.

- a body pillow
D: A body pillow, okay.
P: A body pillow.
D: Of which character, what do you think?
P: Haru.
D: Haru from free. Okay, that's great. An anime body pillow. I love what you're saying about me.
Who's on the wheel?
Wholesome Howell and X-Rated Lester
Dan - Dan's square hair (keeps you warm in the winter; something to say 'at least its not that bad' for every bad thing the rest of your life)
Phil - a relaxing bath (it might boil? there might be sharks?)
Dan - killing your best friend (should be legal when they steal your cereal)
Phil - anime (have to wait seven years for new Attack on Titan)
Dan - the apocalypse (worst thing about the universe is humanity)
Phil - cute animals (horse in your bed)
Friendship Test
Psychic Connections round - word: cartoon characters
P: Lisa Simpson
D: Bart Simpson

Level Two: Phantastic Phacts
Dan's question: What colors were Phil's school tie?
D: What? How the hell would I know that?
P: Two colors.
D: That was like fifty years ago, okay.
P: Hey!
D: Right, two colors. I feel like I've seen some - was this in the book? I feel like it was in the book. God, I should know this. Fake fan.
P: Come on!
D: Maroon and yellow.
P: No! [buzzes him]
D: What was it?
P: Blue and yellow. Close.
D: Close. Pfft. Close.

Phil's question: How old is Dan's family dog, Colin?
D: Colin! The most important person in my life. He eats the cake. I haven't forgiven him. But Phil, how old is he?
P: I don't know!
D: You should know this. It's like essential best friend facts.
P: Uhh. Four?
D: He's eight! [buzzes Phil] Colin - we adopted him. He's a mature little doggie, and Phil - bad friend.

Level Three: Dan, Phil, or a Rat
(Phil gets it wrong, Dan gets it wrong)

Final Round: Dan and Phil Dilemmas

Dan's dilemma: Dan gets free black clothes for life, but Phil loses his teeth.
P: Right. You think about that, I'm just gonna get this microphone sorted.
D: Okay, look - Phil, can you imagine being like- [mocks talking with no teeth] My name is AmazingPhil. I feel like that would be a good look for him. Look, I need black clothes, that's important to me. You can get replacement teeth.
P: Dan, I like my teeth, I want my teeth!
D: You can get better, new teeth.
P: Yeah?
D: Honestly. If this was real. You can get new teeth. Sorry, I'm taking the clothes. [gets buzzed]

Phil's dilemma: Phil can speak to animals, but Dan has to pole dance whenever it happens.
D: Phil can speak to animals-
P: Ooh, that would be amazing!
D: Phil Thornberry. The world would be a worse place.
P: I would love that.
D: What would you do with that power? Nothing good. But Dan has to pole dance whenever it happens.
P: Oh my gosh.
D: What does that mean - does that mean like, if there was a dog and you wanted to speak to him a pole would just appear and then I'd have to be like [music sounds]. No one needs to see that, okay. Nobody is asking for that.
P: But Dan!
D: Shut up. No one is asking for it.
P: I think that would make it more entertaining. [audience screams] I want to talk to the animals!
D: [buzzes him] Bad Phil!
Real Conversation Time

Do you have a favorite video you have made together?
D: Ever? Favorite, hm. I don't know about you guys, but my answer genuinely is the photobooth challenge.
P: Oh my gosh! Yes.
D: When we were editing the photobooth challenge, we were literally crying. Like it is definitely the most stupid video ever, but it is literally the funniest video.
P: It's so funny. Like, if I'm ever having a bad day I can just watch the photobooth challenge and laugh.
D: And see you doing like, [makes a funny voice/face]. It was disturbing, I still have nightmares about it, but that was fun to film.
P: Or baking videos. I find those really fun.
D: Baking, okay. Phil finds it fun because he eats the ingredients.
P: Yes.
D: When we were doing those triple chocolate easter nests things, they had marshmallows - we had an entire packet of jumbo marshmallows ready to go. We went to start filming, Phil had eaten all of the marshmallows.
P: It was necessary!
D: Finished them, didn't tell me, I had to go to a shop. That actually happened.
P: Look. I had to test the recipe. Seventeen times.
I just got fired. Any advice? Especially Dan, as I know he got fired.
D: What can I say? I have talent. Right. I'd say, you know... any advice... if you're going to your next job, don't sleep under the table. That didn't work out for me. Or the axe selling thing.
P: Yeah. If you sold an axe to a twelve year old like Dan, maybe in your next job interview gloss over it a bit.
D: Yeah. Don't tell them why you got fired from the first one. If you're going to a music festival, don't tell your boss that you had diarrhea. Because then when he calls your mum to ask how you're feeling and your mum says, 'Dan's at a music festival.'
P: And-
D: -it'll be really awkward.
P: -if you have a job interview, make sure to ask lots of questions in the interview, because it makes you seem interesting.
D: Yes. It makes you seem like you care, even if you don't at all. That is a good piece of advice, Phil. Basically just don't do anything that I did. That is the entire purpose of my career, don't do what Dan would do.
How do I stop friendships from drifting?
D: Well, okay, I mean. There's an easy answer to this.
P: What?
D: The internet.
P: Yes!
D: Right? Like, there's no - it's not like we communicate via pigeon and now I've moved. You can - I know people who have lived down the street from me and I haven't talked to them more than like twice a month. I have friends I have on the internet I'm just like, what up, every single day. There is no reason to drift.
P: So I'd say lots of internet time, but also I'd say - if you've got like a favorite tv show that you used to watch together or something like that, you can still schedule that time. Go on skype or maybe facetime and watch it together.
D: And have a cry, watching it together! That's a good piece of advice, Phil. But you know, lots of people feel sad they can't make friends that have certain interests, maybe they live in an area where they don't know anyone, maybe they're at a school and no one else likes the weird things that they're into. But I think what you all proved when you yeed at the same time is that on the internet there are weirdo friends out there for everybody.

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Re: Interactive Introverts Fan Submitted Answer Segments (II SPOILERS!)

Post by alittledizzy » Tue Jun 12, 2018 10:42 pm

Warsaw evening show - 11 June 2018

Intro Banter
D: Can I just say, thank you for the party hats? It's a look. It's good. We're very excited, this is our first time ever in Poland.
P: It is!
D: And I think it's safe to say we've been enjoying the culture.
P: We have.
D: Okay, firstly, why is it so hot? What the hell? I don't know what we were expecting, just like - snow and like, gray skies. But I'm walking outside and I'm like, moist.
P: And that's dangerous for me being so pale, as well.
D: It is! Seriously. Like Phil came here and he was like, Poland - I will be safe. But no. SPF 50. Just to get a coffee. You know, we've been partaking in the culture, we snarfed down an entire plate of pierogi.
P: Yeah! It was so good.
D: I'll be honest. I saw it and I was like hmm, okay. But here we go - [snorts, eating noises, moaning]. I went to another dimension, okay.
P: It was revolutionary.
D: I'm still digesting it several hours later, but it was worth it.
P: Totally worth it.
D: Every single bite.
P: But the biggest news of today - it's Dan's birthday! [audience cheers]
D: Yes, yes. do you mind if i wear this hat for the rest of - [audience cheers again] - I will, thank you very much.
P: Who thinks we should sing happy birthday to Dan?
D: But like, the english version is lame, we had a taste - can you sing the Polish version?
P: Here we go. [starts singing, audience takes over singing in Polish] Amazing!
D: There we go. Thank you. That was amazing!
P: That was incredible!
D: That is so much better than Happy Birthday. Happy Birthday is quaking, you just ruined them.
P: That was like an entire human birthday cake.
D: It was! That's very weird. But it was a beautiful gesture, so thank you. I appreciate that.
Truth Bombs
Phil's question: Come up with a slogan for Phil's youtube channel.
- innocent only on the screen
D: Okay, I can attest to that.
P: Hey!
D: Have you seen this guy play Fortnite? He is violent, okay.
P: Look I can't help it.
D: Disgusting. Disgusting human being.
P: Oh my gosh. Don't shame me in front of everyone.

- I swear I won't swear.
D: It's true.
P: It's true.
D: An accurate description of the content.
P: Though - speaking of, you and our latest gaming video! That's demonetization.
D: It was. I got a bit carried away there. Sorry everbody.
P: I think Dan swore more than fifty times!
D: I did. I had to. I'm sorry.

- watch me for free editing tips
P: That'd be useful.
D: Phil is actually just a kind tutorial youtuber.
P: Yeah.
D: He's just there to help people learn how to edit.
P: I've got all those sweet tips.
D: Right. Uh.

Phil's chosen answer: innocent only on the screen
D: You just admitted that.
P: I Know! I like that. It's kind of like a Phil After Dark. What's happening.
D: Whatever Phil After Dark is, I didn't sign up for it.

Dan's question: What's in Dan's browsing history?
- a recipe for how to cook pasta
D: I feel like I should explain. In case you don't know, when I went to university I didn't know how to cook pasta. I didn't know that you had to put water in the pan.
P: I mean...
D: So I just filled the pan with pasta and left it for ten minutes. It set on fire.
P: Terrible.
D: Yes, I am that intelligent, what are you gonna do about it?

- furry costumes incognito
D: There it is. I mean, we've been here for five minutes, there's the furry joke. Though you're saying incognito - I don't do that incognito. That's in my history for the FBI ready to see.

- shrek wattpad smut
P: No. Too far.
D: How did you know? Yes, yes, I am pussinboots25. You can follow me. 'It was a steamy day in the swamp...'
P: Jesus.
D: Shrek came into Donkey's bedroom wearing only a thong.
P: Stop!
D: See all them layers!' I'm sorry. You can find that reblogged on all the worst tumblr blogs.

Dan's chosen answer: how to cook pasta

Joint Dan and Phil question: How will they die?
- fall into the sofa crease
D: Yes. Yep. That is how we're gonna die. We spend so much time there, one day the couch is just gonna eat us.
P: We're just gonna get lost in the voice.
D: Does anyone else think they're gonna die like that? Observed by furniture, because you're browsing for too long. Relatable.

- lack of vitamin d
D: Yep. That's right. Look at this man. He's got skin that hasn't seen the sun for decades.
P: I do.
D: He's got that rare Voldemorte complexion.
P: Dan!
D: It's so hard to look after.

- g-noted one final time
D: Yeah, that could happen.
P: I think so. Sorry for g-noting you earlier.
D: Have you recovered from that yet? We're not sorry.

Their chosen answer: sofa crease
What's in Dan's Box?
- watermelon

- the cake scene
D: The cake scene? From TATINOF?
P: The cake scene.
D: The cake scene. A moment where Phil erotically force feeds me cake. Okay.
P: Yeah.
D: That is something so dangerous and disturbing it should be locked into a box.
P: It should.
D: That makes more sense than a watermelon.
[audio of that moment from an awesome person on twitter]

- a smashmouth cd
D: Forbidden music. Only in the darkest times can you bust out All Star.
Who's on the wheel?
Wholesome Howell and X-Rated Lester
Dan - moths (gets you off the computer)
Phil - elderly people (grandma in your bedroom)
Dan - hello internet (can only get better from your lowest moment)
Phil - unlimited cereal (drowning in it)
Dan - volcano ("dan is not on fire, but you are")
Phil - free wifi (gov't secretly looking at browsing history)
Friendship Test
Psychic Connections round - word: zoo animals
P: camels
D: penguins

Level Two: Phantastic Phacts
Dan's question: Name three of Phil's hamsters.
D: Okay, wow. If you didn't know, Phil used to breed hamsters as a child.
P: I did.
D: Which explains everything. Okay, right. I mean, this is what you were saying earlier about being authentic on youtube - if it was him he'd just be doing hamster sex on youtube.
P: Mating! Not sex!
D: I know a couple - Phoebe, Norris... and Rollo?
P: No! [buzzes him]
D: What! Yes they are!
P: Rollo was a guinea pig!
D: [outraged noise] Oh, oh, okay. Getting technical, I see. Phil just knows his rodents.
P: I do.
D: What does that say about him?

Phil's question: Name three of the top Dan memes from his video?
D: This video was long as hell. There were a lot of memes. All you have to do is name three, Phil.
P: Fine.
D: Three top memes of 2017.
P: Sister Daniel.
D: ... okay.
P: That counts as a meme!
D: From 2017?
P: It just says from the video, it could be any of them.
D: Video. [to audience] Should we make him do 2017 only? [audience cheers]
P: What!
D: Phil, they're saying yes. It was the last year. Are you - are you some kind of fake fan?
P: Wholesome Howell!
D: Pfft. Cheating. Okay, one.
P: Uhh.... my mind's gone blank!
D: It was a thirty five minute long video, are you serious!
P: Yes!
D: [buzzes him] Bad friend! What are some of the memes he could have said? Just shout them out. Lady door! How could you forget lady door?
P: I'm sorry.
D: They couldn't forget lady door even if they tried.

Level Three: Dan, Phil, or a Rat
(Phil gets it right, Dan gets it wrong)

Final Round: Dan and Phil Dilemmas

Dan's dilemma: Dan gets a billion dollars, but Phil loses all his fingers.
D: You don't do anything with your fingers-
P: I do!
D: What do you do-
P: I use my fingers!
D: We saw you with that ball. You have no motor skills.
P: I need it for snacking.
D: Yeah, if you had no fingers you couldn't steal my cereal.
P: You're not really gonna chop my fingers off?
D: If I had a billion dollars, I would buy you new better fingers that could do sports.
P: Are you saying no?
D: I want the money, screw- [gets buzzed]

Phil's dilemma: Phil stops being clumsy, but Dan has to wear bright clothes every day.
D: Okay. Phil. Take this seriously.
P: Look.
D: If this was real, what would you do.
P: I mean, you're gonna chop my fingers off, so-
D: What?
P: I'm gonna take it.
D: Are you serious- [buzzes him]
Real Conversation Time

Any advice for starting a youtube channel? Help!!!!!!!!!
D: Advice on youtube. Well, you should be able to do this, Phil. What would you say?
P: I would say try and make something you are creatively inspired by, rather than trying to make something that's similar to another youtube that you like. Because I think if you're trying to make something that makes you happy rather than what you think is the thing that'll get you loads of views-
D: Totally. When you're doing anything creative, whether it's starting a youtube channel or like an art blog or you're just writing stuff, only do something that you're passionate about. Because other people can tell that, and what's more important than anything else is doing something that you care about and makes you happy. So firstly, you make youtube content about whatever you want to tell the world about, that's important.
P: That's good. And also-
D: Follow your passions!
P: Maybe don't start the first video by explaining everything you're going to do, maybe just do what you're going to do.
D: Are you saying you shouldn't make a video saying hello to the internet?
P: Maybe not.
D: Where you just talk for two minutes about what you're gonna do - no, yeah, just start with the content you want to make, that's good advice.
Are you both as awkward in real life as you seem in your videos?
D: Yep. That's what I'd say about that.
P: I mean, we are both the kind of person that if someone said 'enjoy the movie!' we'd say-
D: You too!
P: You too!
D: Definitely.
P: We totally do that. Any kind of awkward situation, we just throw ourselves into it and I don't know how it happens.
D: Definitely. I mean, someone - I ordered breakfast in the hotel earlier and they were like, enjoy your breakfast! And I literally said 'thanks, you too!'
P: Yeah. But then Dan's the kind of person that would then say, 'Would you like some of my cereal?' just to make it even more awkward.
D: And then they'll be like 'no... get away from me, creepy man.' Sorry. It's just who I am. But our suffering inspires our art, and that's why it's so important.
P: It does.
D: If we didn't make so many weird things happen, like a holy mother knocking at your door, or holy mother and hello internet, and literally everything else - then I wouldn't be sat here now. So it's a good thing that we're awkward! That's what I tell myself at night.
I have a crush on someone, but I'm too scared to ask them out, as I'm a huge loser. Help!
D: Relatable! Okay. What would you say, Phil? Give us some love advice?
P: Jake, if they don't accept you for being a huge loser, then they're not worth it!
D: Exactly, Phil! Thank you. That is the only piece of advice you need. Never change yourself for somebody else, okay. If you're like a weird youtube obsessed anime loving nerd, you find yourself another weird youtube obsessed anime loving nerd, okay. At the end of the day, if there are enough people to fill a theater with Dan and Phil fans, there's weirdos out there for everybody! It's true. [Dan starts like five more sentences here but only gets a few words into each one so it's entirely nonsensical to transcribe.]
Thanks to amethysthollis and samrull for providing show audio!

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Re: Interactive Introverts Fan Submitted Answer Segments (II SPOILERS!)

Post by alittledizzy » Thu Jun 14, 2018 3:21 am

Helsinki - 13 June 2018

Intro Banter
P: So we are in the land of Santa, and the Moomins!
D: Yes! It is the first time we've ever been here.
P: It is!
D: I feel like not enough people come here, okay. This is pretty cool from what we've seen so far.
P: It is.
D: Maybe a bad joke there. It hasn't been pretty cool, it's been warm as hell.
P: It has.
D: I was like, I'll pack a coat, I'll get ready to snowboard down the street, and I'm like-
P: What is this.
D: I'm sweaty. I went for a walk. So no one told me about that.
P: I almost got a sunburned forehead.
D: You did. And for Phil, that's life threatening.
P: It's serious.
D: But yeah, we have been excited. I was looking out for Santa. Haven't met him yet, so if you're in the audience tonight, just want to let you know...
P: Yeah.
D: I have been a naughty boy this year.
P: And if there's any Moomins in the audience as well - call me.
D: Oohhkay, Phil.
P: That was weird.
D: Phil. No.
P: That was weird.
D: You just destroyed-
P: The Moomins are innocent!
D: You just destroyed our childhoods, and their culture in one sentence. I formally apologize, that's not how we're gonna start things.
P: I've also been trying to get Dan to enjoy the salty licorice.
D: No, okay, I may be up for anything,, okay, but I felt violated when I tried that.
P: His face!
D: Phil was like, Dan, do you like licorice - no, I don't! Well, you're gonna love salty licorice. [gagging noise] I nearly died, but there you go, fine. I mean - I love it!
Truth Bombs
Phil's question: If Phil started a religion, what would it be called?
- Philosophy
D: Good one. Ha Ha.
P: I like me a good pun, this is good to a good start.
D: Very, very creative. Almost as creative as us calling the book The Amazing Book is Not on Fire. It is a certain level of creativity that normal people just can't relate to it.
P: I appreciate it.

- The Clumsy Cult
P: The clumsy cult!
D: It's true.
P: It's true!
D: They're excited about being clumsy, if Phil trips and dies you have to catch.
P: Watch out, I'm gonna fall off the stage-
D: There's like a fifty percent chance that he will trip and die this evening. So you could witness the death of AmazingPhil.
P: You could.

- death to all plants
P: Rita! They're my children!
D: [loki. loki is dead. did you know loki is dead? because dan's gonna tell you loki is dead. whether you want to hear it or not. my dreams are crispy now.]

Phil's chosen answer: the clumsy cult

Dan's question: What is hidden in Dan's browsing history?
- slow burn furry fanfiction
D: Okay, ha ha, thank you. I've been here like five minutes, the first furry joke. I like that it's a slow burn, as well. It's not straight to the yiff. You need two months of romance first.
P: Part 78... Dan opens the fursuit...
D: Phil has a secret wattpad account. He just outed himself.

- tentacle asmr
P: What is that?! What noise to tentacles make?
D: Who's up for some of that right now, let me just get the microphone closer - [sucking and popping noises]
P: Oh nooo.
D: You paid for it.

- what if your buddy is not in London?
D: What's the opposite of too soon? Too late, guys. Let it go. Let me live.
P: It might not be too late! There might be a 'hey buddy, you in Helsinki' before we go.

Dan's chosen answer: tentacle asmr

Joint Dan and Phil question: How will they die?
- lack of sunlight
D: That's true. That's true.
P: I've actually caught the sun a bit on my forehead today!
D: Yep. The d I crave is vitamin d. It's true. I desperately need it.
P: Yep. Sunburned in Finland, never thought that would happen.
D: Phil has to wear SPF 50 just to turn on a room light, so you know that this is hard for him.

- finding the ultimate anime and forgetting to eat
D: Yes, okay, sounds likely.
P: Does anyone relate to that?
D: Is anyone so addicted to something that they just forget how to live. [audience cheers] Yes, okay. If you need to go the toilet at any time in the next two hours, say something okay, go do that now.
P: Let us know.

- they stepped five feet away from each other.
P: That is true.
D: Oh my god. We're tethered together metaphorically.
P: We are.
D: Should we test it now?
P: Test how far we could go. [noises as they move apart]
D: When do we just disappear from-
P: I'm not in the light!
D: [screaming] Wait wait, oh, I'm alive again. I felt that.
P: I was fading away.
D: You were fading away?
P: I was.
D: Phil, go step over there. Phil's like - Dan, I don't feel so good... [audience screams]
P: Too soon.
D: That is the example of too soon.

Their chosen answer: stepped five feet away
What's in Dan's Box?
- cereal so Phil won't steal it
- fursuit
- memes
Who's on the wheel?
Wholesome Howell and X-Rated Lester
Dan - cringe attack (sit ups)
Phil - corgi butts (so cute you pull your own eyes out)
Dan - one direction splitting up (you got the harry styles album; they'll get bored and go on tour again. "D: Liam is already a beardy daddy.")
Phil - unlimited candy (drown in it)
Dan - zombie apocalypse (weak will die; we'll be left with superhumans)
Phil - helping the elderly (grandma in your room at night)
Friendship Test
Psychic Connections round - word: insects
P: grasshopper
D: bees

Level Two: Phantastic Phacts
Dan's question: What color is Phil's hair dye?
D: You mean like specifically?
P: Specifically - not just color.
D: Not like - black. Okay, so, you dye your hair to cover up the ginger... not that there's anything wrong with that, it's just a fact that Phil is ginger.
P: It's mousy brown!
D: It's mousy brown. No, it's - ginger people are cool. Phil is mousy brown. Would you say rat brown?
P: Just guess!
D: There is a specific shade - oh my god. I don't know! Um. Mmm. Uhh. Moonlight black.
P: No! [buzzes him]
D: What is it?
P: It's Deep Black XXL.
D: I think whoever named that was... making a joke.
P: [snickering] That's what it is.

Phil's question: What was Dan's third video?
P: Third...
D: So back in time. Dan uploaded his third ever video. What was it? I mean, you should know this.
P: I should know.
D: You were there.
P: Procrastination!
D: Damnit! Yes!
P: Yes!
D: What were the first two?
P: The first two? Hello Internet, and... the second one...
D: Butterfingers, Phil! How could you forget Butterfingers! The first reasons why Dan's a fail.
P: Still got it right.

Level Three: Dan, Phil, or a Rat
(Phil gets it right, Dan gets it right)

Final Round: Dan and Phil Dilemmas

Dan's dilemma: Dan gets a real Pokemon, but Phil's ass is five times bigger.
P: What?!
D: Phil Kardashian has entered the building.
P: Oh my gosh.
D: Twerk it, Phil! No I mean, don't do that. If Phil bends over and I electrocute him, he'll do it whether he likes it or not.
P: Right. I don't want an ass that big.
D: But if I got a real Pokemon, I could like fly around the world and set things on fire, it would change science forever...
P: Dan, I...
D: What?
P: Are you gonna take it?
D: Who here would love Phil no matter how big his ass was? [audience screams] Sorry, Phil. I want a Pokemon! [gets buzzed]

Phil's dilemma: Phil gets one billion dollars [double plane joke], but Dan loses his toes.
P: I would buy some robot toes for you.
D: This guy. But, emotionally, that would upset me a lot.
P: It would.
D: And I think that it would be embarrassing - if you got a billion dollars.
P: I want the billion dollars!
D: No! Bad friend! [buzzes him]
Real Conversation Time

Any advice for someone who is super shy and starting at a new school?
D: I think this is quite a relatable one.
P: It is.
D: Any time anyone goes to a new school or university or moves to a new town or starts a new job, it's that terrifying thing of I have to rebuild my life and I don't like interacting with humans which is, you know, me.
P: I'd say if you're starting a new school with other people, then everybody is in the same boat and if they're all starting at the same time then in that case that's a good opportunity to say hi to someone. It doesn't have to be a huge conversation that you have to plan ahead-
D: This is the whole thing, it's like you always feel like it's just you and everybody's staring at you. Like if you ever do a presentation you're like, oh my god, it's just me and then everybody else and this is terrifying. But all the time - like especially if you're going to a new university or something - everybody is in the same situation. The ultimate truth of life is we're all just as terrified as each other all the time. And as long as you know that, it'll be fine. Woo for being scared.
P: Just don't worry what everyone is thinking about you, because they've all got their own little thoughts in their heads about loads of other things.
D: Who has their own problems? [audience cheers]
P: But good luck with the school and try not to worry about it.
My youtube channel has six subscribers, and one is my mum. Help!
P: I think if you're getting into youtube, I don't think you should be looking for subscribers as the main thing you're looking for.
D: This is like your whole story-
P: It is.
D: How long were you doing youtube for no reason?
P: i was making youtube videos for about two years and it took me two years to get a hundred subscribers.
D: And what kept you going during that time, Phil?
P: I was doing it because it was a fun hobby, it was just really fun to make youtube videos.
D: You were doing it because you enjoyed it? [mock incredulous]
P: I was enjoying it!
D: Crazy idea.
P: So if you're enjoying your hobby, it doesn't matter if you have five subscribers, it's just something you're enjoying doing.
D: Exactly. It doesn't matter.
P: And five people is still five people. [audience shouting over them talking]
D: When you want to do something, it shouldn't be motivated by anything other than it makes you happy. Like if you do something, do it because you're passionate about it and it's because it's what you want to do. Then it doesn't matter if you do it for two years and no one's watching - it made Phil happy and here he is now. So that's how you should live, too.
This is random, but why don't you and Dan have cars?
D: That is random. But a valid question, okay.
P: Well, I don't think I could be trusted behind a wheel.
D: No. We saw Phil with a series of dramatic weapons earlier, that's what he'd be like with a car.
P: I would.
D: So, um. Yeah. There we go.
P: I have passed my driving test, but my driving instructor had just won the lotto. So I don't feel like he was really caring what I was doing, he was just thinking about his private jet.
D: He literally just released a murder vehicle into the world and he didn't care anymore.
P: But the other thing is, London's got such a good underground system - which is kind of a boring thing. But it's just like, we don't need cars because we can get anywhere we want to go-
D: We ain't got no parking in the city. Hello. I just - I've never had. I actually, I went to university, I saved up money for like a year to buy my first car, which was the worst car ever. And then - seriously - I went to university. My friend who didn't go texted me a photo of my car outside my parents house with a for sale sign in the window. And I was like - uh. So I called my mum and I was like, are you selling my car? And they were like, yeah well, we bought you, like, food for ten years, so we can just sell your car. They sold - they didn't even ask me. Ever since that happened I'm just like, you know, feelings hurt about cars now. Don't even want a car. And I also don't need to drive.
P: No.
D: So there we go. Be thankful that you don't drive on a road with Phil on the loose.
Thanks to myheartbeatsforhowell for providing show audio!

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Re: Interactive Introverts Fan Submitted Answer Segments (II SPOILERS!)

Post by alittledizzy » Mon Jun 18, 2018 7:06 pm

Stockholm matinee - 16 June 2018

Intro Banter
P: How are you guys doing tonight?
D: Tonight? It's dark.
P: Today.
D: I'm usually not even awake at this time of the day, I'm not even gonna lie.
P: Yeah. Good to hear that you're good. So I've been eating a lot of Swedish chocolate, I’m gonna warn you.
D: He has. Okay, guys. I hope you're excited, because Phil's excited. He's had a lot of Plopp today. He has. Phil, he's been shoving the Plopp in his mouth like it's nobody's business. He's not wasting time. He's had at least ten.
P: I'm zazzed off the Plopp.
D: In any other country if Phil said I'm here and I'm zazzed off the Plopp that would be really weird, okay.
P: It would.
D: You will never hear Phil say that again. So that's quite impressive.
P: I'm also trying to remember the Swedish I learned last time I was here.
D: Last time we were here, yeah. Phil tried really hard to remember one phrase and he hasn't said it since, but you still want to try.
P: I think it's... Jag talar bara lite svenska. [I only speak a little Swedish.] Is that kind of right?
D: That's how a Swedish person would sound with ten Plopps in their mouth. That is how that makes it. So well done, Phil.
Phil: Thanks!
D: That is you as a Swedish person.
P: Or should I say - tack![thanks]
Truth Bombs
Phil's question: What form of torture would make Phil confess everything?
- watching his houseplants get murdered
D: I like that that's is implying Phil isn't the one murdering his houseplants.
P: I'm basically torturing myself.
D: How- how are your houseplants doing right now?
P: They've... just gone on a little holiday.
D: I mean. We're on tour right now, and we have no friends to water them. So... they're dead.
P: They are.
D: They're so dead. They are dead af, guys. That is gonna be a succulent graveyard when we get back.
P: I'm trying!

- recreating Pigeon Fest
D: Phil, can you formally apologize to everyone here that spent the day watching Pigeon Fest?
P: I thought it was some good content!
D: Okay. Sure. That's fine.
P: Everyone likes watching pigeons for five hours.
D: If you had to sit down and watch it again, how long would you last before you confessed everything?
P: I'd extend it another five hours.
D: Okay. That's what he's saying.

- cheese on the nipples
P: No!
D: I love how that was presented with no context.
P: What?
D: I don't know how you got there, but Phil, there is cheese on your nipples.
P: I would not last. I'd be like, giving you all the codes straight away, just leave me alone.
D: What kind of cheese though? I mean like, are they shaving parmesan onto it, or are they getting a ball of mozzarella and just being like [makes splat sound].
P: Oh my gosh. My mind is going to some weird places.
D: None of you wanted to imagine that. And I've seen what you do on Wattpad, so I've crossed the line.

Phil's chosen answer: cheese on the nipples

Dan's question: What does Dan dream about at night?
- furries, obviously
D: I love that that was furries, obviously.
P: Obviously.
D: It's not even a joke. This is just a fact, it's what he dreams about. Great.
P: It is.
D: Thank you. So early on for the first furry joke. There we are.
P: Just frolicking in your dreams.

- being free of his old branding
P: Nice.
D: What does it mean to dream of that?
P: I don't know.
D: I dream of walking into a room. It's a llama on fire. There we go, finally. That would be quite disturbing.
P: Just your square hair floating off into the sunset.
D: That's a nightmare. I just - I see a square and I wake up in sweats now. It's traumatizing me forever.

- nothing. just a black picture.
D: Oh my god, yes.
P: The void.
D: I am completely dead inside so when I close my eyes at night it's just nothing. Just the absence of life and imagination.
P: Wow.

Dan's chosen answer: being free of the old branding

Joint Dan and Phil question: What would a documentary about their lives be called?
- how my stalker because my best friend
D: Basically. It's just a tutorial. It's fine.
P: It is.
D: Any of you can do it if you believe. You go stalk BTS. One day you'll be in the group.

- why are we doing this?
D: Oh my god. Literally me right now.
P: All the time.
D: Me thirty seconds after the first furry joke.

- two dudes sat on a sofa
D: Yep. I mean. That is most of the time in our lives.
P: Most of the time on the sofa.
D: It's just true.

Their chosen answer: how my stalker because my best friend
What's in Dan's Box?
- butterfly
- cereal
- fursuit
Who's on the wheel?
Wholesome Howell and X-Rated Lester
Dan - sand (nature’s exfoliant)
Phil - a perfect steamy shower (you woohoo with an alien and get man pregnant)
Dan - phil dying (cereal stealing)
Phil - tiny kittens (choking on millions of super tiny kittens)
Dan - hello internet (can look back and go 'at least i'm not that')
Phil - brendon urie's forehead (reflects sunlight and you go blind and die)
Friendship Test
Psychic Connections round - word: breed of dog
P: pug
D: shibe

Level Two: Phantastic Phacts
Dan's question: What year was Phil on The Weakest Link?
D: Okay...
P: I had my super long orange hair.
D: When Phil had his ginger lion's mane. That was... wait… oh my god you’re so old it’s just...
P: When was it?
D: 1923 - no, you were in university... it was two thousand and.... seven!
P: It was 2007!
D: I guessed. Complete guess! No, I knew that, obviously.

Phil's question: What is Dan's favorite member of One Direction?
D: Very important stuff! This is the kinda thing that you just should know about your friends, right?
P: Is this that you like the music or the person?
D: Either, or, both, who knows. Put your hand out, Phil.
P: I'm gonna say... Zayn?
D: It's Harry! I’m a Harry girl.

Level Three: Dan, Phil, or a Rat
(Phil gets it wrong, Dan gets it wrong)

Final Round: Dan and Phil Dilemmas

Dan's dilemma: Phil will never kill a houseplant again, but the only app Dan can be on is
D: The shame. Harry (the person the dilemma is from) is not messing around with the musically diss.
P: You’ll have to delete your youtube, twitter… You can help me out with my houseplants.
D: I mean, you can't just learn to water stuff? How hard is it. Look, would anyone here watch my videos if they were on musically? I'm sorry, Phil - no! [gets buzzed]

Phil's dilemma: Phil gets a billion dollars [joke about strapping two private jets together into a double plane] but Dan has to be called Dani snot on fire.
P: I mean, that would be entertaining in conversation.
D: Entertaining? Entertaining. It would ruin my life.
P: Well. You ruined my life with the houseplants-
D: Okay, think about this. What would you do with the money, vs ruining my life? I'm just saying.
P: I'd buy you a dog.
D: A billion dollar dog? How freaking good is this corgi?
P: I want the dog! [gets buzzed]
Real Conversation Time

I have a fear of clowns, but my friends won't take it seriously and I'm now scared of parties.
D: Okay firstly, what party are you going to in 2018 where there's a clown? If I went to a friends house for a party and a clown was there, I’d be like, byeeee. I'll see you on the internet never.
P: Clowns are really creepy. Is anyone else with you on that one?
D: Is anyone else scared of clowns? I- if anyone here is a clown, you're valid.
P: I think some people might be treating it as a joke, but if you tell them it's a real phobia and it's actually a bad thing, and you told - if they're good friends and you told them that you were scared of coming to their parties, then I think if they are your friends they'll understand.
D: I mean that's the thing with phobias, right? They're not always rational fears, and you have to appreciate that if someone says something to you and it sounds really stupid you have to empathize that to them it's traumatizing.
P: Yeah.
D: Like Phil, and watering houseplants.
P: Hey!
D: Can't bring himself to do it.
P: I am a bit creeped out by horses, though.
D: You are, exactly. Like, Phil says that and you’re like, pfff I ride horses.
P: Imagine like walking down an alley in the middle of the night and there's just a horse there.
D: Why the hell would there just be a horse in an alley?
P: I don't know!
D: In that situation, you can be scared.
P: Unpredictable. But yeah-
D: Your friends, they should accept you. It doesn't matter if you're afraid of weird things or you're into weird things. Your friends should accept you either way.
P: They should. So definitely go to that party.
How have you guys changed as people since starting youtube?
D: Got so old. No, uh - that is something people always say, like, how have you changed since doing youtube? The thing is like - we both started when we were so young.
P: Yeah.
D: I'm sure like everyone here that's grown up watching youtube, so did we being on youtube. I think the biggest change was just getting older and more mature. So I'm sure if you just think about however you changed in the last eight years - exactly. It's just time passing, the natural character progression that's come with the time slipping through our hands like sand... [melodramatic sound]
P: Time is a good thing for character progression, because you're always going to learn from every single day that you have.
D: You learn from all those mistakes.
P: You do. The mistakes aren't necessarily a bad thing because they make you what the person you are today.
D: What about youtube specifically?
P: Specifically, I think I've gotten more confident, because I used to be super shy when I was younger and now I think just speaking to a camera and being in front of you guys and having opportunities to speak to other people has made me a lot more confident in that way than I used to be.
D: Yeah, go Phil! [crowd cheers] So is your advice to spend eight years talking to yourself?
P: Yeah! Talk to yourself in your bedroom and you'll be fine.
Rach’s mum is pregnant, and wants us to name her baby.
D: What?! Uh, did she say “I want you to name her baby” or “she did”?
P: It says...she wants us to name the baby.
D: What a terrible mistake. Okay go on Phil, don’t say Thor, jesus.
P: I think Phil is quite a strong name. It's dying out, I've checked and it's like, no one is called Philip anymore.
D: Oh my god. We need to protect Phil!
P: I feel like a dying breed.
D: Everyone here, if you ever have a child, a houseplant, or a pet you have to call it Phil.
P: I wanted to be called a cool name. Like - I wanted one that rhymed with my last name, like Sylvester Lester. That'd be cool.
D: AmazingSylvester. Okay, would you subscribe to AmazingSyl? [audience shouts yes]
P: Or Chester Lester.
D: That's creepy.
P: That's weird.
D: As long as it's not Mo.
P: No.
D: Well, there we go. You know what, we’ll stay with that, your baby is now called Phil.
Thanks to human for providing show audio, and alwaysoverthere for translation and transcription assistance!

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Re: Interactive Introverts Fan Submitted Answer Segments (II SPOILERS!)

Post by alittledizzy » Thu Jun 21, 2018 6:20 pm

Stockholm evening - 16 June 2018

Intro Banter
D: Can I just say, did anyone see Phil's instagram story? So, um, if you don't know - Phil has been on the Plop today.
P: I have.
D: If you're not Swedish, you must be like - what the hell was he doing on instagram?
P: I know. I am zazzed on the Plop.
D: He didn't stop, okay.
P: I didn't stop. I can't stop the Plop.
D: Once you Plop, you can't stop.
P: They're so nice.
D: We've just begun, and the bar is already down there.
P: [singing] It's lowwww.
D: But seriously, Phil has smashed an entire bag just by himself, so he will be shaking violently.
P: You do win the candy competition. I've had the Bilar as well, it's so good.
D: Yeah. But it's not just that. People were like, don't do it Dan, it's very stereotypical - but I had meatballs with lingenberry for lunch earlier. A lot of people I spoke to - Swedish people I spoke to - were like, don't, it's gross, honestly, don't do that. I liked it! Sorry. Not. I tried your culture and it was delicious. Well, I mean, not all of it.
P: No. I was - I wasn't that tempted by the pickled herring, I'm sorry.
D: But Phil! I've got some in my pocket - no, I don't actually. Uh, no. That -
P: [hisses] No.
D: No. Just hiss at it like a vampire. Yeah, it's true. It's funny - well, it's funny, the last time we came here it was December and it was cold as hell, obviously. We were like - oh my god, I'm dying. This time I'm like, moist. I dunno, it's sweaty.
P: So moist.
D: I went for like, a brief one minute walk earlier and I was like - [gasps] what's happening, I need to sit down and have a cold shower. Yeah, so. We're here, we're sweaty, Phil's had a lot of chocolate, we're ready to go.
P: We are!
D: Two sweaty guys.
P: Hey- tack!
D: Oh, yeah. Look at him. He took the time to master your language.
P: I know.
D: Wow, thank you, Phil, what a hero.
P: Still the only thing I know is jag talar bara lite svenska [translation: I only speak a little Swedish].
D: Honestly.
P: That's all.
D: That's how a Swedish person with a mouth full of Plop would say that.
P: I think so.
Truth Bombs
Phil's question: What imaginary sport would Phil get a medal in?
- off stage falling
D: It's true.
P: I mean, there's only one step here but it could be brutal.
D: I mean, there's - literally, you can. Don't - don't think that won't happen today. There is a 90% chance you will witness the live death of AmazingPhil.
P: Definitely.
D: Get ready for that.
P: Dangerous.
D: Are your shoelaces tied?
P: Yes.
D: For now.

- breeding hamsters while hurdling
P: Oh my gosh. Would they allow that on television? You just do this [gesture] and jumping over the hurdles at the same time?
D: Doing what? Christ.
P: I'm pressing the hamsters together.
D: That's how you breed the hamsters? I thought you just leave them alone, what - you physically-
P: [laughing] No.
D: What, I'm sorry.
P: You just play some Barry White music and take them out of the hamster balls and just let them go at it-
D: I don't want to know what you did as a child, okay, right.

- houseplant murder olympics
P: Too soon.
D: Only facts in this house. Too-
P: Oh my gosh.
D: Too soon, why? Have they died?
P: My children.
D: They have. They have.
P: My children are all dead.
D: Just think. Every day that we spend on tour, our houseplants are getting more and more dead.
P: Don't remind me of that!
D: We have no friends to water them.
P: No.
D: They are crispy af, guys.
P: Oh my gosh.

Phil's chosen answer: hamster breeding

Dan's question: What form of torture would make Dan confess everything?
- watching Hello, Internet
D: Yep. that's it, that's it. Dan, give us the nuclear codes - there is nothing you could do that would break me - 'Hi, my name is'- noooo! No!! No!
P: It's the square bracket that does it.
D: Exact- ughh. Physic- physical stab in the heart. Everyone that's doing the a fricking square- I'm gonna block you.

- tearing up his furrycon tickets
D: There it is. There it is. Okay. Been here for five minutes, first furry joke. Thank you. I don't even know what - what furrycon is.
P: Oh yeah?
D: I have no idea what that could be.
P: I swear you were on the early mailing list.
D: .... okay.
P: Just saying.

- gluing his square hair back on
D: Imagine. I'm strapped to a chair and they say Dan, tell us your darkest secrets - no. And then suddenly, out of the box - the square hair. Duhhhh duh duh. Yeah, no. Not going back. Not going back. I'm sorry. That is the answer.
P: That would be a good look some time in the future.
D: Some- what- when fashion comes full circle in 25-90-fricking-thousand.

Dan's chosen answer: square hair

Joint Dan and Phil question: How will they die?
- making a baking video
D: Yep.
P: That would not surprise me.
D: I mean, you've seen the pastel lemon meringes. Are you surprised that we haven't died already baking? I mean, yeah. Honestly.
P: It's an accident waiting to happen.
D: Halloween baking this year - that's gonna be our last video. I hope you're ready for it. It's just inevitable.

- fuse with their couch in a soft embrace of doom
P: That was quite poetic.
D: I like that it's a soft embrace.
P: Yeah.
D: Because we've just crusted to the sofa after sitting there for seven straight days.
P: You ruined it by saying crusty.
D: I mean... you know, that is actually how we're probably going to die.
P: Probably.
D: Get used to that.

- they already did, they are both robots
D: Oh my god! Were you ready for the latest Dan and Phil conspiracy theory?
P: Oh my gosh.
D: Oh my god. This would explain everything.
P: What?
D: You are a robot. The real Phil still has an emo fringe!
P: Ohh!
D: Ha ha! Found it!
P: I'm a friendly robot.
D: Okay-
P: All I want is to eat your iphones, and have a good time.
D: ... whatever.

Their chosen answer: making a baking video
What's in Dan's Box?
- dead plant
- loki the cactus [fffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffff-]
- a llama
Who's on the wheel?
Wholesome Howell and X-Rated Lester
Dan - moths (they make you shut your laptop)
Phil - brenden urie (so perfect it ruins your life)
Dan - Infinity War spoilers (spares you the trauma)
Phil - one million kittens (they'll form a super pack and eat all of humanity)
Dan - actual trash (dan is actual trash and people are recycling themselves) (leads a trash chant)
Phil - world peace (no reason to explore other planets)
Friendship Test
Psychic Connections round - word: animal noises
P: meow
D: woof

Level Two: Phantastic Phacts
Dan's question: Name three topics Phil talked about in his first ever video.
D: What - you mean Phil - [Phil impression] 'Hello, my name's Phil, welcome to my first video blog'
P: Hello, yeah.
D: Okay.
P: Right.
D: You talked about...
P: Yeah.
D: A monkey.
P: Yes!
D: In a cage. You got a new video camera-
P: No! Bad friend! [buzzes him]
D: Didn't you?!
P: No! I talked about monkey in a cage, exam, and the fact that I was going on holiday.
D: Okay, oh I see.
P: Yeah.
D: I know your origin story, which is that you got it out of there. Being technical are we.
P: Bzzt.
D: Bzzt you.

Phil's question: Where did Dan get naked on a waterslide?
D: Okay, thank you.
P: Where?
D: To be clear, I had the most embarrassing moment of my entire life, thanks for bringing this up, when I went on a school trip to a waterpark in Switzerland and it was one of those really tall-
P: Um. I think the answer...
D: [realizing what he just said] Fuuuc-
P: Might be Switzerland.
D: No! No! No! No! That doesn't count!
P: Ooohhh.
D: Nooooooooo! Damn you!
P: Just call me Sherlock Lester.
D: Shut - Can you go back in your mind palace? I don't want you here.
P: Go on, you can finish the story.
D: I don't want to finish the frickin' story! It as a really big waterslide and it was really fast, and because you had to wear trunks and not swimming shorts because they're weird, I just wore my underpants back to front and they weren't very secure so I went down the water slide and it was one of those things where I shot out like a hundred foot horizontally and then I sat up and I wasn't wearing my underwear, they floated down after me. And yes, twenty Swiss families were scarred forever, thank you, okay. Great. Great. Jesus.
P: Well, that was the easiest point I ever got.
D: Shut up.

Level Three: Dan, Phil, or a Rat
(Phil gets it right, Dan gets it wrong)

Final Round: Dan and Phil Dilemmas

Dan's dilemma: Dan gets to live until he is 1000 years old, but Phil can no longer see dogs.
P: So they're just invisible to me now.
D: Oh my god. You just see a leash.
P: Yeah.
D: But there'd be no fluffy tail. Okay, look.
P: Dan-
D: You're allergic to them! You don't need to see them.
P: I do! I can still touch them.
D: You - you - okay, you would be so much more productive if you didn't spend your life on dog gifs every day.
P: What!
D: What!
P: Are you gonna take it?
D: Are you judging me for not wanting a thousand years of life?
P: Yes.
D: Think about - I could make ten videos in a thousand years. That would be incredible. Okay.
P: Are you taking it?
D: Are you being serious?
P: Yeah.
D: Yes, Phil, I would take it.
P: Bad friend! [shocks him]

Phil's dilemma: Phil is in Avengers 5, but Dan loses a toe.
D: Okay. Okay.
P: You've got ten!
D: Pfffft.
P: You don't need ten.
D: Take this completely seriously okay.
P: Do you really like them?
D: Do- do- do- do- do I, do I like my toes? I like my toes. Weird pervs on the internet like my toes. Lots of people like my toes, Phil. But you get to be in Avengers 5.
P: I wouldn't take your toe. I'd be a good friend.
Real Conversation Time

Any advice for a job interview? I am peeing myself.
P: Okay first of all, don't pee yourself.
D: Okay yes, yes, first piece of advice.
P: Might not get the job then.
D: Do not pee on your boss.
P: No. Uh... wow. I'd say a good thing is to ask lots of questions. I know that sounds dumb, but I think the interviewer will be like oh, Olga seems interested.
D: Olga cares about this? Yeah, no one would ever do that, so that's a great tip.
P: And also prepare some example questions, like they always ask 'how are you a team player' 'how would you be good at the job' - I won't sell an axe to an eight year old.
D: Okay, yes, thank you. What are some of your weaknesses? Sleeping under the table. Pressing panic alarms. But otherwise I'm really employable, I promise. Okay.
P: And-
D: I think it's just 'don't do anything that Dan's ever said in a video.'
P: No.
D: I think that's a good piece of advice, generally.
P: It is. So good luck with the job, Olga!
D: Good luck! And just remember: don't pee.
P: Don't pee, please.
D: Or pee before, so you don't pee-
P: Lets just stop talking about pee.
Dan, what is the one thing you regret most about your youtube career?
D: What a great question.
P: Yeah.
D: You know, I was... I was fifteen, I was signing up to youtube, and it said what, what do you want your username to be... and I was like, I dunno... danisnoton... okay, being serious for a moment, obviously as time progresses you will inevitably regret eighty percent of the things that you do in your entire life, that's just being human. But the thing is - I'm a great example of somebody that just has so many regrets over the years, but everything that I regret, every mistake I've ever made, it's made me the person I am today. So if I didn't literally go through the fire of being danisnotonfire I wouldn't be here right now!
P: Yes!
D: So it all worked out. Honestly, you might cry yourself to sleep every night, but it is all personal growth, okay.
P: It is.
D: So just love it.
P: Embrace your past cringe.
D: Okay, yes. Hump that llama until you die.
I'm going on my first date tomorrow. Any advice on how not to ruin it?
P: Don't pee. That's the first one.
D: Don't bring an axe or sell it to a child.
P: Yeah. I think out of nervousness, you might be tempted to talk about yourself a lot. So maybe think about asking questions to the other person.
D: Yes.
P: Try and find some common interests. 'Do you like anime' would be a good start.
D: Yes.
P: If they like anime-
D: Although, I'd say also, don't try too hard to find common interests, in that if they like something don't pretend just to make them happy, okay.
P: No.
D: Going on a date, doing anything, having any kind of friendship - it's just as much about you being honest about yourself-
P: And being yourself.
D: If you go on a date and someone's like, 'Do you like this particular sport and knitting things from Minecraft?' and you go YES, YES I LOVE THAT, THAT'S MY LIFE - that's not gonna work out, okay.
P: No.
D: You need to find someone who loves you for you, even if you're actual trash.
P: And if they don't like you for who you are, then they're not worth it.
Thanks to human for providing show audio!

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Re: Interactive Introverts Fan Submitted Answer Segments (II SPOILERS!)

Post by alittledizzy » Sat Jun 23, 2018 1:58 pm

Malmö - 17 June 2018

Intro Banter
D: Phil, can you stop vaping? [referencing smoke on the stage]
P: I'm sorry!
D: Oh my god. [??]
P: I can see you through the smoke, it's okay.
D: Just continue doing that smoke [??] that was beautiful.
P: Okay.
D: Wow, so this is our first time here in Malmo, we are very excited!
P: It is.
D: Who knew there was more than one place in Sweden? Apparently.
P: We couldn't be happier to be spending it with you guys. Also, it's very close to Denmark, is anyone- [audience screams over him]
D: The other big D, apparently Dan - ooh.
P: Ooh.
D: I actually didn't think about.
P: Don't say that right now.
D: I promise I actually didn't think about that. Althought, this is the place where our favorite crime drama is set, The Bridge.
P: It is!
D: If they can come together to solve horrible murders, then we can come together to enjoy a Dan and Phil show!
P: Hopefully tonight will be a little less violent though.
D: Should be. Phil, hide the corpses, because that's not what this is about.
P: I've actually been trying to learn some Swedish from The Bridge as well.
D: Oh yeah? Go on.
P: The only thing I know is jag talar bara lite svenska [translation: I only speak a little Swedish]. Is that right?
D: I don't know. That's him trying his best, okay.
P: It is.
D: Don't know what you expect from him.
P: Yeah.
D: Althought if you're wondering why Phil is like, visibly shaking today, he's very excited because ever since we got in Sweden he's shoving something in his mouth - which sounds weird, but it was weirder for me when I read the packet-
P: Plop!
D: Yeah... I don't know like, how much people here actually care about Plop-
P: I don't know.
D: I'm just saying, Phil has been shoveling Plop in his mouth and he hasn't stopped for one damn minute, so.
P: I can't stop the Plop.
D: Jesus. There's pills for that. I'm sorry.
Truth Bombs
Phil's question: What is hidden in Phil's browsing history?
- guide to keeping houseplants alive [he didn't say loki but i'm still not typing this we all know how the routine goes]

- how not to look emo
P: Too soon! This forehead is fresh!
D: Phil on wikihow at 3 am - please release me! I've had this hair for so long! It's true. That is actually the behind the scenes story of that video.
P: It's alright, I've just left the fringe in a box under my bed in case i want to glue it back on again.
D: Staple it to your forehead.
P: Yeah.
D: For whenever you want to listen to some My Chemical Romance.

- is my best friend a furry
D: Thank you. No - you are supposed to be roasting Phil! Not me.
P: Thanks! I liked that one.
D: You like - you like that one?
P: No.
D: Think Phil's trying to tell us something, guys.

Phil's chosen answer: is my best friend a furry

Dan's question: What imaginary sport would Dan get a medal in?
- having existential crises
D: Give me the gold and let me lie on the floor in peace, thank you.
P: Is it just how long you lie there? Is that the sport?
D: Definitely. Just how long you lie there, how little you move. I mean, I've really mastered every aspect of just planking for three days straight.
P: I could do some hurdles over you while you're doing it.
D: And that's how I would die, sure.

- couch sitting
D: It's true.
P: That's very true.
D: You saw the sofa crease, guys.
P: It's so deep.
D: I make a thicc dent in any couch I come across, it's true. I think one day I'll just completely crust to the sofa-
P: Crust.
D: -and get absorbed by it. Yeah, that's how I'm gonna go.
P: Yep.

- serotonin deficiency
D: Okay. There it is. There it is.
P: Oh my gosh.
D: That's how it's gonna go.
P: Is that a sport?
D: If it was a sport, Phil, I would have a frickin' record. For real, oh my god, help me.

Dan's chosen answer: serotonin deficiency

Joint Dan and Phil question: If they released a fragrance, what would it smell like?
- emo bois xD rwar
P: Oh no! You'll never be rid of the old branding.
D: Noooo. Let me live! Okay. What - what is the smell of emo bois xD rwar?
P: I don't know.
D: I don't want - is it just eyeliner pencil and salty tears?
P: I don't want to know.
D: I think that's what it smells like.
P: Lovely.

- misery plaid
P: I supply the plaid, and you supply the misery.
D: Serotonin deficiency and only owning one kind of clothing. Yeah, that's true - that's the two things we have in common. And what would that smell like? Salty tears and musty shirts?
P: Probably.
D: The new scent. Go get it.

- eu du lady door
P: Cam we not even get into what that smells like.
D: Oh. Oh! Oh, god. Oh, jesus christ, okay. You - you got the joke in, but please lets not think about that on any level.
P: [singing] lady, lady, sniff my lady door - I'm sorry! I regretted it before I started it.
D: That. Is the worst thing you've ever said in your entire life life.

Their chosen answer: emo bois xD rwar
What's in Dan's Box?
- sloth bear head
- fursuit
- dog
Who's on the wheel?
Wholesome Howell and X-Rated Lester
Dan - dabbing (tells you what kind of people to avoid)
Phil - guacamole (reminds him of the song he can't get out of his head)
Dan - killing your best friend (cereal stealing)
Phil - mario kart (you murder your friend)
Dan - aliens exterminating humanity (worst thing about our universe is humanity)
Phil - helping the elderly (grandma in your room at night)
Friendship Test
Psychic Connections round - word: crimes
P: breaking into a zoo
D: downloading a car

Level Two: Phantastic Phacts
Dan's question: When did Phil first get glasses?
D: Ooh, okay, very random. Have you made a video about this or anything?
P: No, I don't think so.
D: Okay. I know that you took way too long to get glasses-
P: Yes.
D: And you spent most of the time in school just being blind.
P: I did.
D: And not being able to read.
P: So how old was I?
D: I am gonna say... this is such a guess... you were eight?
P: No! [buzzes him]
D: Ahhh cra--- bs. Yeah, crabs.
P: Crabs.
D: What are you gonna do about it, I said crabs. That's right.
P: I was fourteen!
D: You were fourteen?! You needed glasses your whole life and you waited until you were fourteen?!
P: I think I had a growth spurt, my eyes didn't catch up. They're still here [makes a gesture].
D: That would explain a lot about Phil's development as a young child, actually.

Phil's question: What color did Dan dye his hair when he was sixteen?
D: The one and only time I've tried to be interesting. What choice did I make Phil?
P: I think I've seen a funny photo of this.
D: Yes, and, oh, interesting. [??] what color was it?
P: Blonde raccoon stripes!
D: No, it as purple and it faded to blonde! [buzzes him]
P: That wasn't fair!
D: That is fair - what color did I dye it? Purple was the answer! Just because after one week it faded out into ginger... look, I dyed it purple, that was the original color.
P: Fine.

Level Three: Dan, Phil, or a Rat
(Phil gets it right, Dan gets it wrong)

Final Round: Dan and Phil Dilemmas

Dan's dilemma: Phil is going to go deaf from your screaming, but to stop it you can never play a game again.
D: What?! I can never play a game again?
P: No!
D: I mean, that seems kinda realistic, the only way to stop me screaming is to stop playing video games, okay.
P: I mean, I think you've already lost half my hearing by screaming at me.
D: Alright, fine, fine, look - Phil, he can barely string sentences together anyway, I don't think anything would be lost if Phil went deaf-
P: What?? You can't do that to me!
D: If that happened, there'd be no more DanAndPhilGAMES! Would you like DanAndPhilGAMES to disappear? Noo, exactly!
P: Oh my god.
D: Sorry, Phil. You can lose your ears. [gets buzzed]

Phil's dilemma: You can create pizza out of thin air, but Dan can never eat pizza again.
D: Okay. Okay. You giving me eyes - look.
P: You just chopped my ears off. You're not in my good books.
D: This isn't about revenge, okay. This is about the decision you'd really make.
P: Look, I feel like I could feed everyone in this room with loads of pizza.
D: Okay, he says that. He wouldn't share. Look at the cereal. You'd be like, oh, twenty five pizzas. [snarfing sound]
P: I want the magic pizza power! [gets buzzed]
Real Conversation Time

My mom and dad won't let me meet any internet friends. How do I convince them?
D: Does anyone relate to this? [crowd cheers] Everyone thinking - okay, a lot of people. Well, it's not 1992, you can use face time. It used to be - don't trust people from the internet, they'll be twelve foot five [??] tentacle beasts that will kidnap you. You can just be like, hi, skype, look they're a real human.
P: I think that's the thing - don't get too defensive. I think, show them-
D: [teenage voice] Mum, you're an idiot, let me live!
P: Let them chat on facetime. Let your parents talk to their parents just to make sure they're not super dodge. And also, you can take a parent when you meet them for the first time just to make double sure.
D: Just to be like - hi look real human okay bye. Yeah, it's fine.
P: But internet conventions and places like this are a great way to meet other people with similar interests.
D: Yeah, definitely. I think we just showed when everybody was dabbing and yeeing at the same time, there is a weirdo out there for anybody, so if you want to make friends this is the only place you'll ever do it.
P: It is! So ask someone for their twitter before you leave, and you've got a new friend!
D: Wow, we should start a dating website or something.
Do you guys have a favorite kind of video to film?
D: Favorite kind of video...
P: I'd say gaming channel videos are really fun for me-
D: I mean, obviously.
P: It's basically playing video games, but also I just feel like when we're just having fun playing a game it's reflected in what you see?
D: Are you saying that when you're having fun playing a game, you're actually having fun?
P: I am!
D: [fake shock] Oh my God! That is the reason we started the channel, is we were like we spend 90% of our lives just sat on the couch playing games. Why aren't we just filming it? So there we go. And DanAndPhilGAMES was born.
P: Compare that to a baking video, where everything goes horrifically wrong-
D: Well, I mean-
P: But it's still fun.
D: The baking never goes well, you have fun because you eat all of the ingredients.
P: That's why I find those fun.
D: What was that thing that had marshmallows, was it-
P: The meringue.
D: Okay, we needed an entire bag of jumbo meringues to film-
P: Marshmallows.
D: -marshmallows, to film this video with, and we went to start filming and Phil had eaten the entire bag of jumbo marshmallows.
P: I had.
D: He didn't even eat like two and leave not enough - he ate all of them and was like, okay Dan you have to go to Tesco now.
P: Yeah.
D: I was like, really? So yeah, that's Phil's answer: baking, definitely.
I want to follow a music career but I'm terrified of failing. HELP!
D: Was the help in all caps?
P: Yeah.
D: I felt that spirtually. Okay- what would you say, Phil? It's like Riverdale. High School Musical. What do you do?
P: Obviously, I think... trying is a lot better than never trying.
D: Yeah.
P: So you should try and achieve your dreams, rather than just sitting there and in five years thinking, oh I wish I could tried that.
D: Yeah, you can't do that. You can't just go, I'm afraid to try this, I'm gonna do something safe because it might not work out. You have to try. Otherwise you will probably spend your entire life going what if I did it, maybe it would have worked out? Because you have to do it, okay. If you have a dream, you have to try and chase it because even if you fail you tried and that's what counts. So go for it! If it's basketball or music, live your dream!
P: Or both.
D: A basketball playing musical - oh my god, that's Stomp isn't it, just realized that.
Thanks to hibiscusfreyja and one person who wishes to remain uncredited for providing show audio!

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Re: Interactive Introverts Fan Submitted Answer Segments (II SPOILERS!)

Post by alittledizzy » Thu Jun 28, 2018 3:12 am

Philadelphia - 26 June 2018

Intro Banter
D: Welcome to the first USA show! [crowd screams] I feel more free just being here right now.
P: But you know there's something I wanted to say... Philly is now in Philly!
D: He's been waiting to say that for about a week now.
P: I have.
D: 'Dan I'm gonna say this.' Yes, I know.
P: Yeah.
D: If you're wondering why we're looking particularly energetic, it's because we did chow down on a philly cheesesteak earlier.
P: We did!
D: Very dense. Very dense.
P: Very dense.
D: Mildly pregnant, that's what I am. I'm pregnant with your beef.
P: That sounds weird. But, also - it contains cheese but it was still delicious! [crowd cheers]
D: Phil consumed cheese just to appreciate your culture, people. That is how [??] Phil is.
P: Also I'm sorry if your accent has started rubbing off on me. So like [??] [american accent] hey guys, this is totally awesome.
D: Hey guys, this is totally awesome. Really, Phil? That's the best you've got?
P: I don't know.
D: Sorry.
Truth Bombs
Phil's question: What animal does Phil remind you of?
P: A majestic stallion.
D: A jellyfish.
P: Hey, it's them roasting me-
D: Phil looks like a weird alien, I dunno, is there an answer-

- a puppy that keeps falling down the stairs
D: Not like, an adorable puppy - a puppy like, being folded up and stuff.
P: I think it is dangerous being so close to the edge of the stage. Watch out.
D: All of you guys are in the splash zone, okay. Like - Phil [audience screams over him talking] - and die on the stage tonight so I hope you're ready, okay.

- a cat who is allergic to himself
P: No! That would be terrible!
D: That is Phil's entire existence. You're basically allergic to yourself.
P: I am allergic to myself.
D: That would explain everything.
P: And sunlight.
D: And sunlight. Phil does not pray for the vitamin D.

- a polar bear but paler
D: Oh my god.
P: Oooh.
D: Wow.
P: Well, I am almost see through, so I'll take it.
D: Just that light might ignite him at any moment.
P: Yes.
D: He has to wear SPF200 just to stand here.
P: I do.

Phil's chosen answer: polar bear but paler

Dan's question: What form of torture would make Dan confess everything?
- put him in a box of moths
D: Okay. I would last about two seconds.
P: Oh my gosh.
D: If they were just fluttering their dusty wings against my face.
P: Dan freaks out so much about moths.
D: Like - the fact that they're attracted to light, as a nerd that just sits in the dark with a bright phone - I feel like God created moths just to shame me for using the computer at night.

- not seeing Phil for one hour
D: You say that. We're about to get on a frickin' tour bus, alright.
P: An hour.
D: An hour without seeing Phil is like a holiday, okay.
P: You'll see. We can play I Spy!
D: [??]

- play Hello, Internet on repeat
D: There it is, okay, thank you. What's it been, five minutes into the show and it's the first Hello, Internet reference.
P: How many times would you have to see [mocks] Hello, my name is [ Dan ] before you gave them the codes?
D: Everyone who just did square brackets me, I'm gonna find you.

Dan's chosen answer: play Hello, Internet on repeat

Joint Dan and Phil question: If they made a fragrance, what would it be called?
- the scent of gas leaks
P: Well, we did live with a gas leak for about four years.
D: For about four years. Does it explain a lot that we lived with a gas leak for four years? I feel like that-
P: I think so.
D: It really explains a lot. Okay, it's true.

- dip and pip smells like actual trash
D: Ten out of ten for the creative name. But just [??] that's what it is.

- lady door musk
D: Okay. Okay. Firstly. No one wanted a lady door reference. Secondly, what would that smell-
P: Okay, stop, oh my gosh.
D: What have you done. Jesus.

Their chosen answer: lady door musk
What's in Dan's Box?
- Steam games
- nothing
- tiny alien dog
Who's on the wheel?
Wholesome Howell and X-Rated Lester
Dan - falling off a stage (natural selection)
Phil - anime (waiting four years for new AoT)
Dan - being covered in glitter (bonding with people bc glitter stays on you forever)
Phil - BTS (so jealous of someone else's talent you feel bad about yourself)
Dan - the end of the world (humanity is the worst thing about the universe)
Phil - hugs (what if a giant slug hugs you)
Friendship Test
Psychic Connections round - word: sticky things
P: a stick
D: a slug

Phantastic Phacts

Level Three: Dan, Phil, or a Rat
(Phil gets it right, Dan gets it right)

Final Round: Dan and Phil Dilemmas

Dan's dilemma: Dan gets a superpower of his choice, but Phil is 250% weaker.
P: Dan!
D: You saw Phil trying to catch those balls earlier, it would make no difference. What is-
P: Hey!
D: -zero minus 250%?
P: Dan! Oh my gosh. Truth Bombs is over.
D: I'm thinking of all the good I can do in the world if I could produce dogs at any moment - yes, that's what I would do.
P: What? Are you not gonna do it?
D: Okay - if we were taking this completely seriously, obviously I would take it.
P: [buzzes him] Bad.

Phil's dilemma: Phil now likes the taste of cheese, but Dan can never have pizza again.
P: Oooh. You do like a pizza.
D: Take this seriously.
P: What?!
D: Would you deny me pizza for the rest of my life?
P: No, I wouldn't do it to you.
D: Really?
P: No. I guess - I had the philly cheesesteak and it was fine.
D: Awww. So you're happy to live on selected cheeses.
P: Yes.
D: Thank you. Good friend.
Real Conversation Time

First USA show, lads. Have you got a tour bus yet? Also how mucH IHOP will Phil have?
D: Don't you mean IHOB?
P: [??]
D: I feel like that was the biggest flop ever. Everyone was like, oh my god you're not doing pancakes anymore? Bye.
P: I was like - I was about to get back on the plane, I was like what are you doing to me?
D: Has anyone had an IHOB yet? Is it even a good burger? [??] stick to the pancake stack.
P: So, I have had my pancakes, but they weren't from IHOP so I need to go there.
D: It's on Phil's list. It's literally [??]
P: I [??] to get the tour bus. We haven't gotten it yet, but we're going to pick it up soon. Our chariot.
D: Our chariot, really? Okay. Do you think we're gonna survive this tour?
P: Maybe.
D: That Dan vs Phil - one day one of us is actually going to push the other person off stage. I think that's gonna happen.
P: I think that might happen.
D: But if we have enough pancakes maybe we'll get through it, and that's why we love America.
P: Yeah.
D: In England there's not always pancakes on the menu - there are here! And that's why it's great.
P: Sounds a bit weird, but like the vibrations on the bus kind of send you to sleep. It's like being in the womb again. [??] uterus.
D: Weird vagina reference that nobody asked for.
P: Sorry. Anyway. I'm looking forward to it. We don't have the bus yet, but I'm happy to be in America.
What happens when you guys have a creative block? My brain is a swamp.
D: Does anyone else feel like their brain is a swamp sometimes? [audience cheers]
P: Dan's brain's a swamp and Shrek is just dancing around in it.
D: That is the inside of my brain.
P: It is.
D: Shrek dancing naked in the mud.
P: Anyway!
D: I am not kidding.
P: Anyway, serious question. Someone's got a creative block.
D: Casual - be casual. What do they do, Phil?
P: Well I think what you need to do is if you're really trying to think of something, like trying to get this idea in your head, the worse thing to do is be like - wow I'm trying to think of this, I'm just going to strain my brain until my eyes fall out.
D: I mean - I have a controversial piece of advice.
P: What's that?
D: Sometimes going for a walk-
P: Ooohhh.
D: -helps. Ahhh! It's like, sometimes if you do something so shocking it just slaps you in the face, like inhaling air from outside.
P: I think that's the thing - if you actually just take a bit of time away from it-
D: Totally.
P: -and come back to the idea, whatever it is, that might help. And also, it helps to talk with someone else as well-
D: Exactly.
P: -other than your own brain. If I'm trying to think of video ideas I'm like, Dan, what'd you think of this, help, help! So like - talk it out with someone.
D: If you don't know what you want to do, see what the people want you to do! That's what this is all about. Honestly, that's why we did this tour. We had no ideas so we were just like, might as well let them tell us what they want.
P: Just don't strap yourself to the rotating wheel.
I'm nervous about starting a podcast about Marvel. What if no one listens to me?
D: So you could say that she's not... feeling so good right now... [crowd screams]. Too soon?
P: Too soon.
D: Too soon. If you did a Marvel podcast, the name of the first episode would just be Too Soon.
P: It would.
D: Okay.
P: But I think - what it is, if you've got something creative in mind it shouldn't really matter how many people want to listen as long as you enjoy doing it.
D: I mean this was your whole thing, how long were you making videos for before anyone-
P: I was making videos for about two years before I got a hundred subscribers.
D: Exactly. But why were you doing it, Phil?
P: Because it was fun. I liked doing it!
D: Because Phil liked doing it.
P: Yeah.
D: So you're saying that even if you do something and you're scared that no one's - that you're not gonna have an audience for it, if it is your passion, if it's something that you want to do because you care about it and it makes you happy, then that is the only thing that matters and I think everyone will see it. So good luck!
P: Yes!
D: If you just start off with Spiderman's [??] then you'll get like a million subscribers.
Thanks to afunnyworld and exogcnesis for providing show audio!

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Re: Interactive Introverts Fan Submitted Answer Segments (II SPOILERS!)

Post by whatdoiknow » Sat Jun 30, 2018 10:31 pm

Denver - 29 June 2018

Intro Banter
D: How are you doing tonight, you guys good?! [crowd screams] That is what I like to hear when I ask how you're doing, not awkward silence. Yes!
P: That was some beautiful singing from everyone as well.
D: It was, that's good. That is especially impressive because right now we can't friggin breathe. Seriously, seriously.
P: I'm so impressed. You guys must have lungs of steel, I'm serious. [crowd cheering]
D: Just so you know, we do very little exercise. So just standing here being alive is very dangerous for us.
P: It is.
D: Just standing, we could literally die at any moment.
P: Literally.
D: We did not prepare for this.
P: Yep. Can I just say the mountains of Colorado are so beautiful.
D: They're beautiful, right guys? [crowd cheering]
P: They actually made us go outside.
D: It was good. We saw some snow. Phil hit me in the face with it. [crowd cheering. Can't hear start of next sentence, Dan most likely referencing when he threw the snowball at Phil] It was probably the rudest thing I've ever done in my entire life, fair enough.
P: I was so happy. I had one job, I got him directly in the face.
D: But be prepared because we saw a friggin marmot.
P: We did.
D: What is that about? What is that about? What even are they?
P: Is it a squirrel? Is it a bear?
D: Is it a squirrel-bear? Beaver? I don't know, but I want to rub it in my face. So that made my entire life. So I'm in a great mood.
Truth Bombs
Phil's question: What job would Phil have if Youtube didn't exist?
D: Implying that Phil has any employable skills.
P: Hey! It's them that are roasting me.

- unpredictable weatherman
P: I always had a dream of being a weatherman.
D: Your dream?
P: I don't know why.
D: Not like astronaut? Or popstar? Weatherman.
P: And in Denver, everyone will melt.
D: Yes, okay. I like the unpredictable element of it though. You'd just get your lefts and right wrong and then like not tell people that a tornado is coming, probably.

- support human for a distressed animal
D: Aww
P: I would love that, that's a nice one!
D: You're the one that needs to stay away from the marmots, Phil.
P: True.
D: You're the thing that's distressing the animals.
P: I did get very close to the marmot. I wanted to take it home but I didn't think the park ranger would be very happy.
D: It's just trying to live its little marmot life, and Phil's going "Eeee" behind it.

- PG stripper
P: What's a PG stripper?
D: I think you literally just did a PG strip Phil.
P: I think I just did that. Maybe just take his shoe off and then go home.
D: (stripper music) Sock. And then wooo woooo.
P: Yeah!
D: Okay. Close your eyes children!

Phil's chosen answer: PG stripper

Dan's question: What is hidden in Dan's browsing history?
[crowd cheers]
D: That's your reaction to just the question? What do you people think of me, really?

- are tears a good moisturizer?
D: And that is a big mood. My answer is no, they just make you saltier. That explains everything.
P: It does.

- edgy fursuit ideas on pinterest?
D: We've been here for like 5 minutes, there's the first furry joke, okay.
P: What's an edgy fursuit, is what I wanna know.
D: It's like, I'm a skunk with a nose piercing, can't handle me.

- sexy shrek fanfic
P: No! No.
D: You're screaming but you know it's out there on wattpad somewhere. It was a steamy day in the swamp.
P: No!

Dan's chosen answer: are tears a good moisturizer?

Joint Dan and Phil question: How will they die?
D: I love our viewers fantasizing about our death.

- Dan will kill Phil for stealing cereal
D: Yes! Yes! Only facts in this house. It's gonna happen.
P: Look, Dan, I'm a growing boy. That's what my grandma always used to say.
D: Are you growing? You're already 9 foot 12.

- being eaten by the denver mountain wildlife
D: Just a fact.
P: That marmot had danger in its eyes.
D: If a mountain lion came, no chance, honestly. I walked up a hill for about 10 meters and I was like [heavy breathing] my lungs are ready to just jump out.

- browse the internet til they turn to dust
P: That is very likely.
D: They sat down to browse and just forgot to eat, sleep, or drink and then died and evaporated. Yeah I can see that happen

Their chosen answer: being eaten by the denver mountain wildlife
What's in Dan's Box?
- his secret wattpad password
- furry porn (which was then changed to "PG-13 furry art" by Dan)
- valuable memes
Who's on the wheel?
Wholesome Howell and X-Rated Lester
Dan - murder (murder should be acceptable when people steal your cereal)
Phil - sitting on a beach (sand snails crawling up your legs and they take you back to the snail kingdom)
Dan - your grandma seeing what you browse (you need to share your interests and might realize you have more in common with your grandparents than you think. "Who here is inspired to read your favourite fanfiction to your grandma?")
Phil - free wifi (the fbi can see you through your webcam)
Dan - eating chocolate until you die (that is how he wants to go. "smother me chocolate daddy")
Phil - helping the elderly (waking up in the middle of the night to seven grandmas in your room)
Friendship Test
Psychic Connections round - word: type of chocolate
P: Milky Way
D: Hershey

Level Three: Dan, Phil, or a Rat
(Phil gets it wrong, Dan gets it wrong)

Final Round: Dan and Phil Dilemmas

Dan's dilemma: Dan gets to play with puppies every morning, but Phil's hair turns white.
D: Okay, are we taking this completely seriously?
P: I think I'd look like a kpop star, maybe.
D: If your hair was white, you'd be completely translucent.
P: I think I would.
D: You'd just be (?) looking completely like Voldemort.
Honestly, if that was the choice, I think that I'm taking the puppies. I don't care
P: What? Bad friend!
D: [gets shocked] Fudgsicle.

Phil's dilemma: Phil gets five billion dollars, but Dan leaves a trail of (?) slime behind him.
P: I think that would be a good thing because Dan always wanders of in airports.
D: Okay.
P: I could just follow the slime.
D: To be honest, I don't leave the house, it would be a very slimy couch.
P: It would be a very slimy couch.
D: Honestly, do you need five billion dollars?
P: Yes.
D: It kind of would completely ruin my life. Take this seriously, like really think about it.
P: I'm gonna take the money!
D: Are you serious?! Bad friend!
P: You could make a youtube storytime: "My slime trail."
Real Conversation Time

I'm loving your insta stories guys. Did you see any ghosts in the Shining hotel?
D: Basically, the creepiest place I've ever been in my entire life.
P: It was so creepy. It was called the Stanley Hotel, right?
D: Yeah yeah yeah [cheering] (?)
P: So, I was excited because I love the Shining. I really love Stephen King books. So I was like, oh my gosh, fanboy moment. Apparently, Stephen King stayed in that hotel and that's why he wrote the book. But I walked through the door and I got chills.
D: Oooh.
P: I don't know if it was the aircon.
D: Probably the aircon.
P: Or if it was actually haunted.
D: It's good. I'm liking that you're enjoying the insta stories. This is what happens when we actually do something and go outside. [cheering over talking]
P: I regret not starting them earlier.
D: Okay, Phil, if we started it earlier what would it be in your story? [imitating Phil] "Hi, it's 11 am. I woke up. I ate some Crunchy Nuts. Dan's now (?). Bye." You get quality marmot footage now. Denver has peaked our instagram stories, definitely. [cheering]
P: It peaked from the peak.
D: [does that teasing noise they do]
P: [phil does same noise]. So yeah, that was great.
I got a Twenty One Pilots tattoo on my ankle and I'm scared to tell my parents.

D: Oooh [audience oohs]. Okay, I guess this is the thing. I mean, what you could do is just hide it until you're 18 and be like "Suck it! You don't get to say anything now." I think that some people are just concerned that you rush into things that are permanent.
P: Yeah.
D: But if you got a tattoo or went travelling anywhere or made any kind of decision because it meant something really personal to you, I think you just need to sincerely explain it. So if you say, I got this symbol or this song lyric and it represents something really important and personal to me, and you say that, I think that they should respect that because it's a really beautiful thing. [audience cheering]
P: Yeah. Or..
D: Or
P: Another thing you can do, is say, 'hey I got a massive tattoo of Dan's face on my back' and then you'll parents will be freaking out, you go 'just kidding it's just a little one on my ankle'. Just make their expectations higher.
D: Nobody get my face on your back. Phil, that was good so, a piece of advice. Thanks Phil. Okay, sure.
How do I say hi to my crush? I am dying in a pool of awkward.
D: I just heard about two thousand people go 'same' at the same time. They're all hopeless, okay.
P: Everyone is very worried about what other people are going to think when they're just gonna say something like 'hi', when as a human, if someone says hi to you, that's a nice thing. You're like, oh someone actually wanted to say hi to me.
D: Unless you go up to them and go "hi I want to get married (?)" [cheering] Otherwise, it'll probably be fine.
P: Yeah. And if after you've said hi, they're not into you, then they're not worth it anyway! [cheering]
D: Exactly. You should never date somebody who doesn't like you for you. If somebody says that they're not into it, then don't do that to yourself. I mean, I think what all the cheering here shows, is that there's probably a weirdo out there for everybody in the world. [cheering] I feel like that was almost actually good advice.
Thanks to amiaw for providing show audio!

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Re: Interactive Introverts Fan Submitted Answer Segments (II SPOILERS!)

Post by whatdoiknow » Mon Jul 02, 2018 11:59 pm

Grand Prairie - 01 July 2018

Intro Banter
D: Grand Prairie, how you guys doing tonight?
P: Dan, I think you mean, how y'all doing?
D: Really? Really? I feel like busting out the y'all ten seconds into the show is basically offensive.
P: I like me a good y'all.
D: Okay. If Phil breaks out a 'howdy' or says anything about literally anything I apologize in advance, okay. It's gonna happen a lot.
P: I'm surprised I made it onto the stage because it is so hot out there.
D: Oh my god, what is up with that?
P: Oh my gosh.
D: I walked from the car into this building and I was sweating, like six seconds, god. Anyone that is wearing black today, I salute you, honestly. [crowd cheering]
P: I'm wearing SPF 1000.
D: And that's just to survive under room lighting. So today, Phil is really risking his life just to be here in Texas, okay.
P: I am. [crowd cheering]
Truth Bombs
Phil's question: What imaginary sport would Phil get a medal in?
D: Implying that there's any answer to that, okay.
P: I don't trust myself in any sport.

- killing houseplants
D: There it is, there it is.
P: Too soon.
D: Straight off the bat with the succulent sacrificing.
P: My children!
D: How are the houseplants doing right now?
P: Uhhh.
D: We don't have any friends.
P: No.
D: Who do you think is watering them while we're on tour? They're dead. They are dead af.
P: They're so dead.
D: There is no coming back.
P: No.

- tripping over literally anything
P: Is that a sport?
D: If it was a sport, you would have a gold medal, Phil. How are your shoelaces right now?
P: My shoelaces are tied but I'm worried about this stair. Also the edge is quite high. [walks to the edge of the stage and pretends to teeter]
D: I can't believe you just did that. There is a 50% chance that Phil could fall off the stage and die this evening, so I hope you're ready for the live death of Phil Lester.

- professional daddy-ing
P: What? Do I want to know how you make a sport out of that?
D: What does that - is it like, is it being a father, or is it like being a daddy, you know what I mean?
P: Oh my god.
D: If that's the case, how do you do that professionally?
P: I don't know.

Phil's chosen answer: killing houseplants

Dan's question: What form of torture would make Dan confess everything?
D: Okay, great. I love my followers fantasizing about torturing me.

- a slow caress of the neck with a feather
D: Okay, no, ugh, okay.
P: What's with you and your neck?
D: It's horrible! [Phil walks towards Dan wiggling his fingers towards him] No. I'll break you in half. No.
P: He's got issues.
D: Never walk towards somebody going like that, you creep. Put your hand in your pocket. Do the weird hand thing. Yes. There you go. Hands to yourself, Phil.
P: Sorry.
D: That would literally make me vomit my own brains out of my nose if anyone did that to me, truly.

- scratching felt tip marker on wood
D: [screams] No! No!
P: That is one I do not understand.
D: Cursed activities is doing that, okay.
P: They're like, Dan, give me the launch codes. I've got the felt tip ready.
D: All they'd have to do is go like [gestures like he's writing on wood and makes noise] and I'd be like [screaming about giving up the codes or something]. Yeah, that would work, okay.

- playing Hello Internet on repeat
D: There it is, there it is, okay. We've been here for like five minutes, and we have the first Hello Internet reference, thank you everybody.
P: So they strap you in the chair and it's just like, "Hi, my name is Dan".
D: No no, okay, no. Everybody that just did square brackets in the audience, I'm gonna fight you and (? whop?) you. [screams] They're trying to make me just leave right now, cause I will.

Dan's chosen answer: playing Hello Internet on repeat

Joint Dan and Phil question: What would a documentary about their lives be called?
D: So, at the end of it all, what was the story of Dan and Phil called?

- two nerds who never go outside
D: True, true. It's fine. On a day like this, who would? Excuse me. Give me air conditioning and pizza and I will never move again.
P: It's very accurate.

- giraffes in human bodies
D: Okay, thank you. That's true.
P: I think that's very true.
D: But pizzas don't grow on trees. And lord knows, Phil doesn't touch a salad. So that's fine, I don't know, it's kinda accurate.

- danger men at work
D: That's flashbacks that I didn't ask for. How is your 'danger men at work', Phil? Should we test Phil right now? [crowd cheering] I'm sure, cause you're all a bunch of nerds, you know it better than Phil. [D&P and audience start singing 'danger men at work'. Phil messes up pretty early on]
P: No!
D: [unintelligible sounds] No! Okay.

Their chosen answer: danger men at work
What's in Dan's Box?
- the ladydoor
- dan's furry paraphernalia [Phil changed to 'fursuit']
- cereal
Who's on the wheel?
Wholesome Howell and X-Rated Lester

(extra bit that I needed to share - during the buildup to this part when Dan is talking about Phil dropping an f-bomb on his channel:
D: Was it worth it?
P: It was worth it, but I don't think I'll be f-ing on AmazingPhil every day.
D: [laughs]
P: You know what I mean.
D: [laughs] ... Okay.
P: Okay.
D: Yikes.
P: Wow.
D: That's not the kind of content. That would get demonetized. )

Dan - moths (moths are great because they are god's way of telling you to get off the computer)
Phil - a field of daisies (you go to sniff one and a bee flies up your nose and stings your brain and all you can see is the bees)
Dan - cannibalism (about time we gave the animals a break and started eating each other. If you ate Phil, he'd just taste of candy. So we should all get on stage with tiny knives and embrace cannibalism)
Phil - a free glass of milk (what if it's horse milk? what if it's milk from the person that's giving you the milk?)
Dan - global warming (it's only happening because humans are disrespecting the planet. It's the universe's way of saying we should kill humans off before they start destroying other planets.)
Phil - tiny happy dogs (what's if there's billions of dogs and they're filling up the theater and there's tails in your mouth and they're pooping in your eyes)
Friendship Test
Psychic Connections round - word: capitals of the world
P: London
D: London

Level Three: Dan, Phil, or a Rat
(Phil gets it right, Dan gets it wrong)

Final Round: Dan and Phil Dilemmas

Dan's dilemma: Phil is about to fall off a cliff, but to save him Dan has to throw his laptop off.
D: How high is this cliff?
P: It's a cliff. Anything that's called a cliff is pretty high.
D: My laptop. My life is on that laptop.
P: Dan.
D: I was about to say 'Mufasa was fine.' Mufasa was not fine.
P: Oh my god.
D: There's no wildebeast down there.
P: Are you gonna throw me off the cliff?
D: You look bouncy (? I think). I mean, we did not establish how high this cliff was, I feel like he got weird (?). No whatever, I want my laptop.
P: Bad.
D: Bad? Really, you're gonna talk to me like a dog?
P: Yeah. Your mum.

Phil's dilemma: Dan will finally be free of his old branding, but Phil will have to have an emo fringe forever.
P: What? No.
D: Now this is quite a good one.
P: Look, Dan, I think your old branding makes you who you are. It will never leave you.
D: Okay, okay. But I reserve the right to make myself cringe when I feel like it, not to be surprised with Delia Smith cookbooks when I walk into someone's kitchen.
P: I just got the quiff, I'm not cutting it off again.
D: Are you serious?
P: Yeah.
D: You're not - [gets shocked]. Bad friend!
Real Conversation Time

How is the American tour so far? Any Texas bants?
D: Any Texas bants? Other than a lot of sweat when I crossed the road briefly for five seconds. That was good.
P: Yeah, I'm surprised I haven't melted yet. Although, if anyone saw my insta story, this morning I was looking out the window at the hotel -
D: Okay, oh my god.
P: Listen, it was like 6 in the morning, and literal two beekeepers were there tending to some bees on the roof of the hotel. And I was like, 'am I dreaming? Is this happening?'
D: Phil has no proof that there were beekeepers on the roof of the hotel.
P: Dan doesn't believe me.
D: Beekeepers?
P: I was wondering if that's a Texas thing or not.
D: You know that Texas thing, keeping bees on a hotel. Hashtag 'just Texas things'.
P: Maybe it was a dream.
D: Phil, you've been having too many pancakes. The honey wants its revenge, that's what's happening. It's haunting you in the night.
P: We're excited to jump on the tour bus.
D: If Phil reapplied his SPF 50, he might make it out of Texas alive.
P: Maybe.
D: We'll see.
I want to start a Youtube channel about anime, but I don't want to fail. Help me Dan and Phil.
P: I think, if you really want to start a Youtube channel, I think you might regret it if you don't do it later in life. You'll go, oh I wish I tried that out.
D: You can't not do something because you'll be afraid that you'll fail, because that's anyone that's ever dared to live their dream. Because you look at any situation, it's like 'oh if I tried that, I might not make it'. But if you don't try, then you never know, and you can't spend the rest of your life regretting that you didn't have 'the hottest anime channel on youtube', living your dream.
P: Exactly.
D: Exactly.
P: If Dan had never gone "Hi, my name is Dan".
D: Okay.
P: He wouldn't be sat here now.
D: I forgive you because you're making a sincere and true point about something.
P: I am. Would anyone of you guys subscribe to Leo's channel? [crowd cheers]
D: Crying about anime with Leo. Okay, sure. Go for it.
P: Go for it. So, good luck with your channel.
I have just moved here and I have no friends. Help me.
D: [laughs] Just, 'help me'. I mean, oh my god, okay. Come on, Phil.
P: What I think is, now is the perfect time to say 'Hi person next to me' or 'hey you look cool' cause you're in a room full of people who all have the same interests as you, that live in the same place.
D: Exactly. I mean, I think what that communal 'yee' a few minutes ago just showed is there is literally a weirdo out there for anybody.
P: There is!
D: So just tap somebody on the shoulder and be like 'do you like watching Supernatural and crying?' [crowd cheering] Exactly, exactly. This is the place.
P: Just say, 'hey, what's your twitter?'. And then you can follow each other.
D: Exactly, cause now thanks to the internet, we can all make friends, can't we? Aww. [crowd cheers]
P: I just think, it's always a scary thing, but everyone's got their own stuff going on in their head so if you just say hi to someone, they're not gonna be like 'oh this person's weird.' They'll be like 'oh, this person's talking to me, that's nice'. So give it a go, and I'm sure you'll have friends in no time.
D: Aww, good advice, Phil! [crowd cheering]
Thanks to mythicalpinktrashcan on tumblr for providing show audio!

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Re: Interactive Introverts Fan Submitted Answer Segments (II SPOILERS!)

Post by alittledizzy » Tue Jul 03, 2018 5:42 pm

Austin - 2 July 2018

Intro Banter
D: So, Austin, how are you tonight? Are you guys good?
P: Uh, Dan, you technically mean Cedar Park.
D: Oh, okay, sorry - technically, not in Austin.
P: I know. I think you also you mean - howdy guys, how y’all doing?
D: Phil, that’s basically offensive.
P: Is it?
D: Phil - Phil, yes. Yes it is. Stop.
P: Okay.
D: If you do any more howdys, y’alls, talk about cowboy hats-
P: Look, I’ve just got all these yeehaws inside me that want to come out. Yeehaw! I’ve done it now.
D: I think you should see a doctor about that. Well, anyway. I’m glad that you all survived the heat to make it here, because what the heck is that about?
P: Is that normal?
D: My entire experience of being outside today was going from a tour bus into this building which was about five seconds and I was like here we go - sweat. Right. Instant one hundred percent moistness. Zero to a hundred.
P: I’m surprised I’m not a puddle right now it was so warm.
D: It’s true. Phil has to wear SPF100 just to stand under room lighting.
P: I do.
D: So honestly he could die at any moment in this state, it’s really risky.
P: I’m already getting a bit pink. I might need SPF107.
D: For that spotlight. He could go up at any flames, it’s true.
Truth Bombs
Phil's question: What’s in Phil’s browsing history?
- Platypus mating calls
P: I mean - I’ll take that. I do love a good animal mating call. You never know what they’re gonna do!
D: Did you just say you love a-
P: I do!
D: -good animal mating call? Okay, is that - okay, Phil is just saying that he has a curious interest-
P: A curious interest.
D: Not like, a bad curious interest in animals, if you know what I’m saying. What does a platypus mating call sound like?
P: [makes animal sound]
D: Okay.
P: I would know.
D: You know that weird part of youtube? That’s what Phil spends his time on.

- how to take back a swear
P: Look, I did that on your channel!
D: He did! He dropped the f-bomb on my channel. Was it worth it, Phil?
P: I’m totally written out of my grandad’s will.
D: It wasn’t worth it at all. His grandparents have completely abandoned him.

- why does my stalker live with me
D: OKay, okay, ha ha.
P: Wow.
D: This is supposed to be Phil’s round, thank you very much.
P: [laughing] I like that one a lot.

Phil's chosen answer: why does my stalker live with me

Dan's question: What job would Dan have if youtube didn’t exist?
- probably back at walmart i mean schmasda
D: Okay thank you, thank, yes. You know. I slept under a table once, I wouldn’t do it twice.
P: Yeah?
D: So I would be a great Walmart employee, thank you.
P: Just don’t go near any axes.
D: God, yes, I sold an axe to a child, get over it okay.

- terrible therapist
D: I can see that happening. ‘I’m just so sad.’ So am I, stop complaining.
P: You’d both end up lying on the floor.

- Phil’s sugar baby
D: What??
P: Oh my gosh.
D: Is the person who has the sugar daddy called the sugar baby?
P: Really?
D: I haven’t really heard that said much, I really don’t like how that sounds.
P: Can we move on swiftly please?

Dan's chosen answer: probably back at walmart i mean schmasda

Joint Dan and Phil question: how will they die?
- falling off the stage
D: Yep okay that could still happen.
P: It is quite high. [walks to the edge and leans over]
D: This is very dark - I’m - why did you even -
P: Genuine worry there.
D: Yeah you guys in the front, you’re in the shamu splash zone right now. I hope you’re ready to see the live death of AmazingPhil because it really could happen.

- the sofa crease eats them
D: Yeah, that could make sense.
P: I think that’s very likely, to be honest.
D: We spend so much time sat down that the sofa just absorbs us. I mean, that could happen on any week day for me.

- get demonetized and starve to death
D: Oh my god.
P: Oh my gosh.
D: It’s too real.
P: It’s your fault on the gaming channel!
D: Okay well if you weren’t upsetting me so much then I probably wouldn’t swear so much.
P: Wow.
D: Honestly.
P: Yeah.
D: That’s right. Hey Dan, go in this spider cave - okay, whatever, sure. Did you see that Skyrim video from the other day? I think that single handedly permanently demonetized DanAndPhilGAMES.
P: I think it did.
D: Just through the bleeping.

Their chosen answer: falling off the stage
What's in Dan's Box?
- cereal
- fursuit
- Phil shrine
Who's on the wheel?
Wholesome Howell and X-Rated Lester
Dan - 5% battery (motivates you to be really productive and get stuff done before your phone dies)
Phil - smiling babies (might be alien babies with lots of teeth)
Dan - voldemort’s nudes (even if you’re translucent like phil and voldemort everyone is beautiful, amen for everyone that would still bang voldemort)
Phil - free wifi (someone can watch you through your webcam)
Dan - the sun exploding (you never have to see your pets or loved ones die or your favorite shows end)
Phil - world peace (we’ll never go into other universe)
Friendship Test
Psychic Connections round - word: number between 1 and a billion
P: seven
D: one

Dan, Phil, or a Rat
(Phil gets it right, Dan gets it wrong)

Dan and Phil Dilemmas

Dan's dilemma: Dan gets to be in Hamilton 2 [Dan hums] but Phil’s toes turn green.
D: Okay, I mean, you probably have like weird Shrek feet anyway.
P: Hey! I’m quite fond of my toes.
D: Not even weird Germans on the internet want to see your feet, Phil.
P: Dan. What do you think?
D: Honestly-
P: Don’t make me have green feet!
D: Would you care about having green toes?
P: Yes! I want to be a toe model when I’m older.
D: Shut up. Okay are we taking this seriously?
P: Yes!
D: Honestly if this was serious - no, I’d be in Hamilton, I don’t care.

Phil's dilemma: Phil finally keeps a plant alive [interlude for houseplants joke] but Dan is allergic to all plants.
D: What!
P: Ohh!
D: All plants!
P: I mean you don’t-
D: Grass.
P: You don’t go outside that much.
D: I mean, okay, maybe. But I have like six succulents I care for like my children.
P: Fine. Honestly.
D: Honestly.
P: I wouldn’t do it to you, Dan.
Real Conversation Time

How is the tour bus, guys? Is Phil feeling travel sick yes?
P: We’ve only just got the tour bus.
D: Okay, it was our first day on the tour bus today.
P: It was.
D: Which is a big deal - we’ll remember this location forever. And Phil already nearly died.
P: I did! Well we had a few hours on it last night so I was in my bunk and I was lying there watching some Netflix when I started to smell this really weird like, chemical-y smell. I was like, this is really weird… it’s fine I guess this is what the bus smells like.
D: Two hours later-
P: I fell asleep and I woke up feeling really dizzy and I was like oh my god what’s happening. And I realized my pillow had been leaning against the light which then melted and almost set on fire. My pillow was covered in melted plastic and I was in like, a bunk full of plastic fumes.
D: So Phil had been inhaling plastic and nearly set on fire. That is how the tour bus is going so far. It’s great!
P: That might explain a few of the things I’ve said tonight.
D: Also there is wifi and it wasn’t unlimited data so we used all of the bus’s data for the two months that we’re gonna be on it in one evening. Okay so great, fine, it’s fine.
P: Might be an issue. But I haven’t felt travel sick. I think it’s because all the American roads are straight.
D: Yes definitely.
P: Going in a straight line is fine, it’s when you go around a corner - don’t want to think about that.
D: As soon as you go around a corner, projectile vomit.
I want to shave my head, but I’m scared of being judged should I do it.
D: Should they do it? [audience screams yes] It’s your head, do whatever the hell you want with it.
P: Yeah, you should do whatever you want with your hair, or whatever you want - first of all, it’s just hair. It’s gonna grow back if you don’t like it.
D: Some people have it, some people don’t. Change your color, who cares.
P: But don’t worry about what other people think of you, because if that’s what you want to do then you should totally do it.
D: Exactly. Thank you very much, Phil. After all, Phil was afraid that everyone would hate the emo hair and look what happened.
P: Yeah!
D: So just go for it. Live your hair dreams!
P: And it’ll also feel nice and prickly like a hedgehog.
D: In this weather, that would be a great decision actually.
I am starting a podcast, but my voice is super annoying. What do I do?
D: Same. Wow. That was like me when I made my youtube channel in 2009. [mimics his younger voice] Hi, my name is Dan.
P: No matter who you are, whenever you hear yourself back you always think your voice is annoying. Like me, even when I’m editing now I’m like oh my gosh, I’m so annoying.
D: Seriously.
P: But that’s just one of those things in your head. I’m sure you don’t sound really annoying.
D: Everybody thinks that they’re annoying, but the thing is you put yourself out there and no one cares because everybody sounds weird or thinks they look weird or thinks they feel weird all the time. All humanity is just a big bundle of anxious emotions, and the sooner you realize that everyone is self conscious there’s nothing to be afraid of.
P: No.
D: We’re all meaningless, and then the sun explodes.
P: Don’t worry about it. Do your podcast. I’m sure it’ll be great. And if you are - just do the whole thing with Siri’s voice.
D: High concept, Phil. Thank you.
I recorded this one! If you have any questions/requests you can contact me through PM on idb or on tumblr under the same name.

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Re: Interactive Introverts Fan Submitted Answer Segments (II SPOILERS!)

Post by whatdoiknow » Fri Jul 06, 2018 12:49 pm

Houston - 3 July 2018

Intro Banter
P: It's our last show in Texas!
D: It is!
P: So I should be saying 'howdy ya'll! how are you doing tonight?'
D: Phil, are you gonna stop doing that when we leave Texas?
P: No!
D: Just one more for the road.
P: Yee haw! [crowd cheers]
D: I feel like that's definitely very offensive.
P: I'm just trying to fit in.
D: If your culture is easily offended, we're probably going to do a lot of things tonight that will accidentally get us banned from this state, but here we go. Although I, can I just say one thing, it has been very hot here.
P: It has!
D: What is that about? [crowd cheering]
P: [?] leave a puddle on this stage.
D: If Phil gets touched by sunlight in this temperature, he instantly dies, okay, we're not messing around.
P: It's a real problem.
D: He has to wear SPF 50 just to stand under a [?] light, so he's really risking his life to be here.
P: I am!
D: Phil's like two feet between our tour bus and then the building, and I was like, 'time to go outside', ugh too much, sweat. So ugh, yeah. To everyone that [?] here, I appreciate that you went on this actual adventure.
P: Yes! [crowd cheering]
Truth Bombs
Phil's question: What job would Phil have if youtube didn't exist?
D: Okay, implying that 'anything' is an answer to that.
P: I've got other skills!
D: Such as?
P: I know a lot about weird animal mating.
D: Okay! Right, well let's see what you had to say.

- cereal stealing
D: Yes! Thank you for bringing that up. Thank you very much.
P: If that was a job, I would be in the money [said like 'monayyy']!
D: If you were a super villain, you would just be like 'Crunchy Nut Thief Man'.
P: I just know how to sniff it out like a pig snuffling truffles.
D: Okay, that was a really weird mental image, but it is [?] what I see in our apartment at 3 am, so [?].

- professional hamster
P: A professional hamster?
D: Is that like some weird role-playing thing?
P: Is that a furry thing?
D: You know a lot about hamsters.
P: I do. I used to breed hamsters. I had thirty [or 13?] babies.
D: That's not a joke. Phil used to breed hamsters as a hobby.
P: But it was about two hamsters, I could just make them get it on. [crowd cheering]
D: Literally, nobody wanted to hear that.
P: Make a little table with a tiny little wine.
D: And then what?
P: Bow chicka wow.
D: Okay, right, right. That's probably not legal in this state, Phil. Okay, Jesus.

- a really bad weatherman
P: It was always my dream to be a weatherman, as a kid.
D: Phil, you're directionally impaired, so people would be like, 'and where was the tornado', you'd be like 'there', and everyone would die.
P: I still don't know my lefts and rights.
D: [laughs] Okay, Phil, what's that way?
P: Left?
D: Oh my god, he did it guys! [crowd cheers] Well done! In this moment, I have never been more proud of you.
P: Thanks.

Phil's chosen answer: professional hamster

Dan's question: Come up with a slogan for Dan's youtube channel.
D: Okay! This one should be fun. How would you describe danisnotonfire?

- I should have been a lawyer
D: That also works as just a lifetime regret, definitely, yeah.
P: You could have been a lawyer.
D: Could I?
P: No.
D: No.

- depressed but well dressed
D: Thank you. I will take that. Only facts in this house. Thank you.
P: You do make some interesting fashion choices.
D: And I'm really sad a lot. Oh my god, it's so true.
P: Yeah!
D: Thank you.

- hi, my name is [dan]
D: That went too far, Jessica!
P: Wow.
D: There is a line, and the line is a square bracket.
P: They're all doing square brackets in the audience.
D: Okay, everyone doing that at me right now, I'm gonna find you and block you after the show.

Dan's chosen answer: hi, my name is [dan]

Joint Dan and Phil question: If they released a fragrance, what would it be called?
D: The eternal question - what do Dan and Phil smell like?
P: I think I smell quite fragrant. A bit musky.
D: Okay, right, sure, fine.

- the sweet smell of regret
D: I love that I heard about twenty people go 'same'.
P: Sorry for calling you 'brog' [he read the name wrong].
D: That can also just be the smell of [I'm being rude?]

- england is my city
D: No! Okay, that is the smell of regret right there. Even though we won a football game, I feel embarrassed to have to read that right now, okay. It is a fine city, isn't it.
P: Yep.

- eau de lady door
P: What is the scent of a lady door?
D: I'm just gonna say, just reading it's funny, but then you think about it.
P: Oh! No.
D: Okay, if we crossed the line earlier, we're like somewhere over there now. I think you just ruined everybody's evenings.

Their chosen answer: eau de lady door
What's in Dan's Box?
- 'welcome to the black parade' cd
- whisk
- pride flag
Who's on the wheel?
Wholesome Howell and X-Rated Lester
Dan - eating tide pods (an example of when some people are so dumb they don't understand something is a meme. If someone else is gonna ruin memes for somebody then that's gonna ruin memes for everyone. If someone dies because they don't get memes, then it leaves the best humans left.)
Phil - eating haribo (what if it's 17 billion packets and it's coming out of your eyes and then you die in a sea of candy)
Dan - really slow internet (back in the day with dial up it took like two minutes to load a single picture, and then you really appreciated it, and now you don't appreciate it since it's so fast)
Phil - bagels (bagels are a joke because there's a big hole in the middle of them. the lizard people in the government are eating those holes.)
Dan - killing your best friend (a situation where this should be totally legal is when somebody steals your cereal)
Phil - brendon urie (so beautiful it burns your eyes. so good he should be banned because he's too good)
Friendship Test
Psychic Connections round - word: planets
P: jupiter
D: uranus

Level Three: Dan, Phil, or a Rat
(phil gets it right, dan gets it wrong)

Final Round: Dan and Phil Dilemmas

Dan's dilemma: Dan gets his dream car, but he has to run over Phil's foot.
P: No!
D: Okay, okay.
P: I like my toes.
D: As if you use them at all, seriously?
P: What?
D: What skills do you have that you need your feet for?
P: I could play football.
D: Right, okay. Are we taking this completely seriously?
P: Yes.
D: Your foot would heal. If I did it, like, really slowly, I'm sure you'd be fine.
P: Oh my gosh. You'd run over my foot?
D: Are you honestly asking me?
P: Yeah.
D: Yes, Phil, I would run over your foot.
P: Bad friend!

Phil's dilemma: Phil stops being clumsy forever, but Dan is three feet smaller.
D: Okay, thank you.
P: I mean, you could be that tall.
D: Is that a normal height basically? Okay, sure. Honestly, it would be weird if you went to see Dan and Phil, and it was like Phil [incoherent noise]. Okay.
P: I mean, I'd quite like to stop being clumsy.
D: But. Okay. I know this is silly, Phil, take it seriously.
P: Okay. I would make you shorter!
D: Are you serious?! Why?!
Real Conversation Time

How was tour bus Mario Kart? Who won?
D: Okay, okay. So this was a thing, right, okay.
P: So we've set up this [?] on the tour bus, but it's on a screen that is facing backwards. So you've got to play while the bus is moving backwards, and it's really confusing because when you go around a corner it's like 4D mario kart.
D: Phil has a very sensitive body, okay. If anything stimulates him, he just projectile vomits. It's true.
P: Yeah.
D: So being on a tour bus, Phil is just looking out the window like [pants] the whole time. So sitting backwards playing a driving game in the dark, I was like, if Phil wins he's just gonna puke on me.
P: I managed to survive four rounds, although I lost every single one of them.
D: Thank you very much! Okay, so like Phil said earlier, he might murder me by the end.
P: I might. We can maybe do some tour bus gaming at some point.
D: Film gaming videos on the bus, okay! [crowd cheers] Who would like to see Dan and Phil murder each other on their gaming channel, because it's coming. [crowd cheers]
My little brother is now 13 and he has turned really mean and is only playing Fortnite.
D: [laughs] I'm like, is it the hormones or the Fortnite? Because both of those things are really horrendous, but I don't know which is worse.
P: I think it's probably a bit of both. I think, don't just worry that you've lost your little brother forever. I think he might just be going through something.
D: It's just a phase, mum! Yeah literally, um. Although, I haven't finished puberty yet, so I'll let you know when that ever ends. Dan with a beard, 2029.
P: Yeah. I think you just have to be a bit more patient, and maybe say, 'hey, maybe we could play some Fortnite together'.
D: Okay, that is not the answer. It invites horribleness (?). Fortnite brings out the worst in people. It's a game where only one person wins, and that means that everyone loses, and if your 13 year old brother loses something and then gets mad and throws the Playstation controller, that's just what it does. Phil plays this game a lot. I'm scared for my life.
P: Okay.
D: You don't understand. This man has real violence hiding inside him, okay. I think one day he's gonna be like, 'I didn't win. Going for the choke'.
P: Okay.
D: And not in like a chokey daddy kind of way. [crowd cheering]
P: Maybe suggest a nicer game.
D: Play Animal Crossing together.
P: There you go.
D: Okay, cool. Family therapy with Dan and Phil.
How have you guys changed since starting your Youtube channels?
D: Wow, well it's been like 50 billion years since we started.
P: Yeah. Let's look back into the age of the dinosaurs.
D: Back when it was black and white, literally, Phil.
P: Yeah. I just think I feel a lot more confident in myself, and also with how I present myself to a camera. [crowd cheering]
D: Wooo! I can't even remember Phil with a fringe because the quiff looks so much better, do you agree? [crowd cheers]
P: I think as, like, when I started youtube, I'd never think I'd be sat here on stage in front of all these people.
D: No, exactly.
P: I would not have done that.
D: I mean, the thing is that so much time has passed. Do you remember what you were like 8 years ago? [crowd says no] Exactly, thank you, you're all just like [makes ughh noise]. Exactly! But that's the thing, we all grow and improve so much as people over time, and I just think it's amazing that we've been able to share that with people. Because you go back and look at Hello Internet, and it's just so bad, but it shows that no matter what type of [?] in your past, and going uh oh that was bad, you can always improve and become a better you. So you go for it!
P: Yes! [crowd cheers] That was some good advice there.
D: Okay, I feel like if you have any more of that [referring to pinof cocktails they were drinking during this section], you're gonna like throw up on people and get angry or something, so I'm just gonna take this away.
Thanks to Morendo for providing show audio!

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Re: Interactive Introverts Fan Submitted Answer Segments (II SPOILERS!)

Post by alittledizzy » Fri Jul 06, 2018 12:57 pm

St. Augustine -4 July 2018

No audio for this show, but here are fantastic notes made by Smartinis that will answer pretty much everything you need to know about the show! (Slight warning, if you're trying to keep some surprises in, this covers more of the show than my transcripts normally do.)

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Re: Interactive Introverts Fan Submitted Answer Segments (II SPOILERS!)

Post by alittledizzy » Tue Jul 10, 2018 3:08 am

Orlando - 6 July 2018

Intro Banter
P: I'm sad that Mickey Mouse didn't turn up, didn't [??]
D: Honestly. So rude. We invited him.
P: He didn't turn up!
D: This is the Disney theater right now.
P: It is the Disney theater. [crowd screams]
D: [something about boats] I feel like I'm on a boat right now.
P: I've got boat vibes, I don't know why.
D: Strong boat vibes.
P: I'm always tempted to crack out my Mickey Mouse impression when I'm in Florida. [crowd screams]
D: You have a Mickey Mouse impression?
P: I do.
D: Phil isn't known for impressions, okay.
P: [Mickey voice] Where's Pluto? [crowd screams]
D: [says something in a Mickey impression voice that I can't understand] We're violating him. We are violating him on his own stage.
P: I think we are.
D: This is not what anybody asked for.
P: Yeah. But, I think Orlando's the place I've been the most times [??].
D: It's in Phil's heart.
P: It is.
D: [??] the mini golf. That's what Phil cares about.
P: I've done every mini golf that's hear. [names a few]
D: Is he making these up? Are these real? [people scream yes] Ya'll have some great [??] out here.
P: If they put mini golf into the Olympics, I would totally compete.
D: The one sport that Phil would be good at in life. Althought - land of sun, nope actually. Went outside looking for a [??] today, fricking monsoon. [everyne screams] Spontanious storms every day at three o'clock. We were on our daily commute from the bus to the building that was about two meters and it was just [noise that is maybe supposed to be rain I guess?] a bolt of lightning struck like fifteen [??] behind us.
P: It was so close!
D: We could have been dead. Dan was nearly on fire. I was like, we're not gonna need a bus, we're gonna need Noah's Ark. [??] That's what we need right now, honestly.
P: Well, thankfully we survived and we made it here.
Truth Bombs
Phil's question: What does Phil dream about at night?
- being made of pancakes
P: Oh my gosh.
D: Probably, probably. Wow. Being made of pancakes? Is that like some weird self cannibalism? What's going on there?
P: I don't know. The International Phil of Phil.
D: I told you not to cheer if he did something weird. Phil, are you excited to come to American? He's like, I'm excited for pancakes. That's fine. So that would be useful.
P: Well I wouldn't last for very long if I was made of pancakes.
D: Right.

- Dan's cereal
D: Yes. He dreams of all the Crunchy Nut Cornflakes he can sneak into a kitchen and eat at 4 am.
P: I don't need to dream about it because it's already inside my stomach!
D: [??]
P: Snip that out.
D: Okay [??] sounds a bit creepy. That was weird.

- becoming the sun from the teletubbies
D: Awww.
P: That would be horrifying.
D: Maybe. Imagine Phil going [impression of the sun from Teletubbies] like the sun.
P: I always had a teletubby fear, I just want to set them all on fire.
D: Okay. Wow. Teletubbies are valid, we are not here to set anyone on fire, apart from myself.

Phil's chosen answer: being made of pancakes

Dan's question: What job would Dan have if youtube didn't exist?
- inappropriate counselor
D: I see that. It's like - 'can I just tell you about my feelings?' Oh, is this a competition? Yeah I get sad too sometimes, get lost.
P: [??]
D: [??]

- furcon organizer
D: It's been like five minutes and it's the first furry joke. Okay, thank you every body. Wow. [??] for furcon [??].

- definitely not a lawyer
D: Oh, damn again. Too soon over here.
P: That's a burn.
D: It's funny because I tried and I failed.

Dan's chosen answer: inappropriate counselor

Joint Dan and Phil question: How will they die?
- explosion from baking
D: Okay I can see that happening.
P: I can totally - the meringues were almost our death.
D: I'm actually surprised that we haven't died filming a baking video. I don't know about you guys. I mean, obviously - I think Halloween this year, that's gonna be it. That will be the end of Dan and Phil.

- falling off the chair during spooky week
P: That's the thing, when Dan's fallen off the chair he hasn't dragged me with him.
D: When I fall off a chair, I fall off a chair hard. I don't think I can do a cute slip, I'm like - BOOM, okay. Natural disaster in China, that's what happens when I fall.

- yoga challenge gone wrong
D: That nearly happened during that yoga challenge.
P: It did! We tried to do that one where you go in between my legs and I have to lift you up.
D: [??] What, did you enjoy that, me breaking my neck between Phil's knees? That's a weird fanfiction, okay. [??]

Their chosen answer: explosion from baking
What's in Dan's Box?
- lost SD card with Phil and Louise's footage
- the vegas video
- portal to the lady door dimension
Who's on the wheel?
Wholesome Howell and X-Rated Lester
Dan - littering (you could be littering seeds and saving the environment)
Phil - sitting by the ocean (blue whale could land on you and crush you)
Dan - punching your best friend (acceptable when they steal your cereal)
Phil - infinite phone battery (you're sat there scrolling tumblr until you turn into a skeleton)
Dan - human extinction (sooner humans leave the planet the better)
Phil - my chemical romance (it hurts when you want something back so much)
Friendship Test
Psychic Connections round - word: cats
P: Siamese
D: Siamese

Dan, Phil, or a Rat
(Phil gets it wrong, Dan gets it right)

Dan and Phil Dilemmas

Dan's dilemma: Dan gets the power to fly, but Phil loses three fingers.
D: Okay.
P: I need all my fingers!
D: What do you need all your fingers for?
P: They've all got their own different uses!
D: What - you have no physical - okay, you're laughing, but honestly what are you doing with your hands?
P: Picking up popcorn.
D: Okay right. Are we taking this completely seriously?
P: Yes!
D: Honestly.
P: Yes.
D: If I could fly [??] and ruin my life, I couldn't do that to you. I would not do it, Phil, you keep your hands.

Phil's dilemma: Phil gets his own Pokemon, but it hates Dan.
D: Okay thank you. [??]
P: I think that'd be funny!
D: This is like - fricking live Pikachu sitting here right now.
P: But Dan - if I had a real Pokemon, it'd be the best day ever.
D: Are you responsible enough to own an electric beast?
P: Yes! I would take the Pokemon!
D: Are you serious? No! Bad friend! [buzzes him]
Real Conversation Time

Hey Phil. I'm in my last year of college - can't ask you about this, sorry Dan. I'm scared to move back in with my parents
because I have no job lined up and what if I'm there forever?
D: Oh god, okay. I go home for Christmas and I'm like, get the hell out. Three days and I'm like like, nooo.
P: First of all - college is such a busy, stressful time and you've got so much work, you've got like end of year assignments and projects. So much going on in your head, I don't think you should really be thinking about 'what about the next few months.' You should just focus on finishing it.
D: But it's [??] next week! Ahhh! Yeah.
P: Allow yourself to have a couple of weeks to de-stress, because your brain is going to be so full of everything you won't even be able to think about getting a job. So just let yourself have a mini holiday.
D: But then - that's basically what you did, which is sit around eating cereal for a year, decide to become an artist, and then everything works out in the end! But honestly, what you did Phil, was you decided to not stress about you know, getting a job in editing or english language or whatever-
P: No.
D: You decided to just pursue your passion-
P: I did.
D: - which was youtube, and then this happened. That's the moral of the story.
P: So I'd say yeah, do whatever you feel passionate about and I'm sure that you'll make it if you do that.
D: Hopefully your passion isn't cannibalism.
P: Yeah. Hope not.
Dan, do you really eat popcorn kernals like some kind of crackhead? I literally can't stop thinking about this please.
D: Okay, okay, okay. Also, third time today, zero shaming zone people. I didn't realize-
P: He does it! He eats the popcorn and it is so weird-
D: Look! There is a difference between like, opening an uncooked popcorn bag and just chomping away, because that would be horrifying and you'd just break your face. But you know when you shake a bag of microwave popcorn and there's some that are half popped? They're not like, really hard and crunchy, but they're like chewy and it's just like [chewing sounds]-
P: [grossed out noise] Who thinks Dan is a weirdo for that? [light cheering] Who also does that? [more light cheering]
D: Okay! Get into the shame cube, you [??]. We are about love and acceptance and chewing crunchy things.
I just moved one thousand one hundred miles from my friends and I need help making new ones.
P: I think that's always scary, to move to a new place. But I think now is a great opportunity to make some friends.
D: Seriously!
P: You're in a room full of people with similar interests that are all in the same place.
D: We are in a room full of people that all just yee'd at the same time. You need to find another weirdo to be your best friend, just tap somebody on the shoulder.
P: Hi, what's your twitter? New friend.
D: But also you shouldn't be afraid to speak to people [??]
P: Yeah, if you're starting a new school or something, you just need to remember that everyone's got their own stuff going on in their head. But people like when people are nice to them, believe it or not, so just go up and say 'hi, I'm Marina, I'm new.' and they'll go, oh! The new girl is nice, they're talking to me, and I'm sure you'll make friends in no time.
D: Yes. And if that doesn't work out, just make friends on the internet! [crowd cheers]
Thanks to orlandophan for providing show audio!

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Re: Interactive Introverts Fan Submitted Answer Segments (II SPOILERS!)

Post by alittledizzy » Tue Jul 10, 2018 7:38 pm

Clearwater - 7 July 2018

Intro Banter
D: Firstly, false advertising - Clearwater? The water is brown.
P: I would say it's more of a blue-y green.
D: Yeah, okay, kind of - there was this pond outside this building, okay, and it was a bit brown, just saying.
P: But speaking of the pond - there's an actual alligator living in it outside this venue!
D: And you're cheering for that? Seriously?
P: Oh my gosh.
D: This thing's gonna eat one of you. Hope you're not walking home. This thing's gonna be like, who's tired after the Dan and Phil show? Honestly. We saw it. That thing was hungry.
P: It was. It could smell the candy coming out of my skin.
D: Everyone was like, taking photos of it, and Phil was like I wanna take an instagram video - immediately it was like, prey! Here we go. Saw Phil and was like, this can't run. I can run faster than this, obviously. Come closer! So uh, Phil could be dead right now. This would be Dan and the stump show. Um. Very nearly happened.
P: But which stump would it be? I don't know. [laughing at his own sentence] Thanks. That sounded weird.
D: That was weird, okay. Anyway.
Truth Bombs
Phil's question: What imaginary sport would Phil get a medal in?
P: Definitely not escaping from an alligator, that is for sure.
D: You would get bronze, and that is death.

- houseplant murdering
P: No!
D: Oh yes! If that was a sport, Phil would be the world record holder, trust me.
P: Too soon!
[and then the loki joke makes it's grand return. thanks for giving me a week off of it, dan]

- screaming angrily at Fortnite
D: Yeah, I've seen that. I don't know if any of you have like, family members that just got addicted to it and just became like really murderously angry - that's Phil, that's Phil.
P: [starts to say something but Dan talks over him]
D: I'm afraid he's gonna throw a Switch at me, honestly.
P: I know. It's a problem. I almost get to the end and then someone shoots me and I'm just like, noooo!
D: And then he Hulks the hell out.

- cheese avoiding
P: How is that a sport?
D: People just throw a wedge of cheese at you and you're like [makes a gesture] Nooope! Not today! Be gone [??]. That's Phil with lactose on a daily basis.
P: It is.
D: I've seen him do it.
P: I dodge it.

Phil's chosen answer: houseplant murdering

Dan's question: What is hidden in Dan's browsing history?
- Nick Jonas London Tour Dates
D: Ha ha. Wow. What's the opposite of too soon? Too late. Please release me from from this joke, okay.
P: But maybe then your buddy will be in London!
D: Oh, for God's sake. Okay. Ha ha. Noted. Right.

- which fursona are you
D: There it is. There it is.
P: Yeah?
D: Been here for like five minutes and we have our first furry joke, okay. Thank you. That's me on wikihow at five am.
P: I think you'd just be a giant rat.
D: Okay, thank you, Phil. It's their job to do this, not you.

- saucy Shrek memes
P: No. Nooo.
D: I like that it's saucy Shrek memes.
P: Yeah.
D: Not like saucy Shrek fanfic on Wattpad. Like, a really dirty meme.
P: I don't want to know what that is.
D: A sauc- my mind is imagining things, and they're all mentally scarring.

Dan's chosen answer: Nick Jonas London Tour Dates

Joint Dan and Phil question: If they released a fragrance, what would it be called?
- memes and broken dreams
P: I love that!
D: I somehow feel like that's amazingly poetic and I feel personally attacked at the same time, I don't know about you.
P: I think that's more of a Dan scent than Phil scent.
D: And what does that smell- okay you've given us the memes, hashtag lady door. Don't remember that?
P: Oh my gosh.
D: You're a part of this as well.

- eu du microwave
D: So, Phil - Phil. I think you mean [does the voice] microwave. Jesus. If there is anyone here that didn't get that, they must be like what the hell is wrong with these people?
P: What is this?
D: Also, what is the smell of the microwave? What are we microwaving? Is it popcorn, because that would be good.
P: That'd be nice.
D: Is it like, mackerals? Because I don't know, I don't want to spray that on myself.

- the sweet smell of regret
D: Wow. Oh my god. Literally me right now.
P: That's just the scent that comes off you at all times.
D: That is what we call a big mood.

Their chosen answer: memes and broken dreams
What's in Dan's Box?
- NASA jacket
- fursuit
- Patches the dog
Who's on the wheel?
Wholesome Howell and X-Rated Lester
Dan - combination of socks and sandals (it's practical and comfortable)
Phil - hugs (what if it's an alligator that wants a hug and bites your head off)
Dan - the clowns from 2016 (darwin test for people who didn't realize it was a meme)
Phil - the queen (what if it's a queen ant)
Dan - world war 3 (worst thing about earth is humanity)
Phil - room full of puppies (drown in puppies)
Friendship Test
Psychic Connections round - word: milks
P: chocolate
D: oat milk ("We were having a conversation about oat milk this morning, you spoon.")

Dan, Phil, or a Rat
(Phil gets it right, Dan gets it wrong)

Dan and Phil Dilemmas

Dan's dilemma: Phil slips over in the bath but Dan has to delete his social media to save him.
D: What? Okay. Whoa, okay.
P: Oh my gosh.
D: What scen- not that this is the point, but in what scenario is someone threatening to slip Phil in the bath if I don't delete my twitter?
P: I don't know!
D: Seriously.
P: But I've fallen over in the bath before and it's not pretty.
D: Pffffft.
P: It's like that noise when-
D: None of us wants that mental image.
P: When a seal just hits the floor.
D: Like a, like soft like-
P: Slap.
D: Been there. Okay honestly, I mean, how bad is this fall gonna be?
P: Bad.
D: Is it like - how bad?
P: Bad.
D: How bad?
P: Like. Seal bad.
D: What does that mean for your body, what would happen if you did it?
P: I don't know, I'd break both my legs.
D: Okay. Honestly. If Phil breaks both of his legs, or I delete all my social media - I couldn't do that to you [presumably talking to the audience]. No, Phil.
P: [buzzes him]

Phil's dilemma: Dan is about to be probed by an alien, but (D: And we mean literally butt right now.) to save him Phil has to live on Mars.
P: Forever?
D: I guess so. You just have to move to Mars.
P: What?
D: I'm presuming there's like an Elon Musk village there by now or something, I dunno, okay.
P: I mean, I watched The Martian - I think I'd survive for like a week before I died.
D: But I'm about to get probed.
P: I think that'll last-
D: Probed hard.
P: That'll last like five minutes and it might give you alien powers.
D: Are you serious?
P: I'm not moving to mars.
D: You would impregnate me with an alien baby? Are you, honestly - [buzzes him].
Real Conversation Time

As you guys are in Florida, what is your favorite theme park? Discuss.
D: Is this controversial?
P: It is. Very controversial.
D: Is there like, Team Disney, Team Universal?
P: Oh my gosh.
D: I'll let Phil handle this.
P: I'm not saying it's the best-
D: Uh oh. Here we go.
P: But I've had the best experience at Busch Gardens. [audience cheers] That's great for me because it's like, ooh I can go on a roller coaster, ooh there's a tiger, ooh - and there's like, a mixture.
D: Okay I'm just gonna say, sorry, Harry Potter fan for life. Universal. [audience screams] The first time I walked in there I nearly cried, I am not joking.
P: Yeah.
D: I am that much a nerd. [crying voice that is hard to understand] It's Hogsmeade... the castle...
P: That was pretty cool.
D: Are you ready to go on a roller coaster? I was like, I just need a minute.
P: Just need a moment.
D: Fine - but wow, there's so much to choose from.
P: But that Harry Potter ride, that's the time I've been the most travel sick ever.
D: You know the one in the castle? Where [??] there's something about looking at the screens and moving, Phil nearly had to puke.
P: I did. I had to lie on the floor.
D: We walked through Dr. Suess land, it was a bit stimulating-
P: I was like oh my gosh [barf sound that I think might actually be Dan adding sound effects]
D: Then someone dressed as a minion waddled up to him and I think-
P: I couldn't-
D: That's what set it off.
P: I couldn't handle it.
D: And Phil just puked.
P: It was terrible.
D: And that's why he doesn't pick universal.
What are your favorite vines?
D: Ooh, okay. I personally like the ones that are like random moments of reality that are like, what the hell happened? Like 'I smell like beef.' [does the voice]
P: Oh my gosh!
D: Also Anthony's one- [audience starts singing] two bros in a hot tub, five feet apart because they're not gay.
P: That was great. And the other one that - I first discovered the guacamole song through vine.
D: Oh god!
P: [sings it]
D: No! No no no no! It just got out of my head! Obviously, the vine we did with Thomas Sanders.
P: Yes! [audience screams]
D:It defined our entire existences as two tall weird people.
P: That was so fun.
D: It's true. Thomas [??] so good, isn't he guys?
P: Lots of fanboying as we were doing it as well. I was like, yes! This is a moment!
D: So much work goes into so few seconds.
P: It does.
I am officially a senior! College is coming soon, any advice?????
D: Uhhh. Don't do law and then drop out after one year after amassing debts.
P: I'd say, if you're going to college and you're moving into halls - I think you call them dorms -
D: Dorms.
P: [weird voice that is probably supposed to be an American accent] Dorms. Dorms. What I would do is when you're moving in, keep your door open and then have a big box of candy next to the door. Then when anyone's moving in you can be like, oh, hey, my name's Jordan, do you want some candy?
D: Are you saying to bribe people to make friends?
P: No, it's just-
D: Good advice! Good advice!
P: It worked with me.
D: It's so scary because people are like oh I'm moving out of a new town, I don't know anybody, it's terrifying. I think what you just need to remember is that in any situation where you're going to a new school or college or starting work somewhere, everybody is just as terrified of each other. The secret to humanity is knowing that everyone is just as stressed and anxious as each other all the time.
P: Yeah!
D: And as soon as you realize that - just go up to someone and be like hi can I be your friend? And they'll be like oh god thank you for talking to me.
P: Someone's speaking to me!
D: If not, bribe them with candy.
Thanks to ichoosescience for providing show audio!

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Re: Interactive Introverts Fan Submitted Answer Segments (II SPOILERS!)

Post by whatdoiknow » Thu Jul 12, 2018 1:10 am

Ft Lauderdale - 8 July 2018

Intro Banter
D: So, we've been having a very exciting day today because we saw a frickin iguana!
P: Yeah! [crowd cheering] It was like this [presumably indicating with hands] big!
D: But here's the thing, I was like 'rare lizard' on instagram, and everyone's like [snort noise] 'not rare here'. We're from London!
P: Yeah.
D: Like, a bird that isn't a pigeon is a rare nature sighting for us.
P: Exactly.
D: Imagine Phil seeing an iguana, it was like Jesus coming back.
P: It was! Although I went under the tree and it started advancing towards me, and I was a little bit scared.
D: They can bite, can't they? And scratch.
P: Yeah.
D: A little nibble, and it's like, there goes your finger. So Phil was like 'I'm gonna have a selfie with the iguana', and I was like 'vision: ear missing, Phil with half a face doing the show', so it's a miracle you're here now.
P: It would have been worth it. It reminds me of that lizard song that we sang.
D: Yes!
P: Do you remember that?
D: We can post a whole song [crowd cheering] [dan (and I think Phil?) and crowd start singing lizard song]
P: Wow. I didn't think we'd start by singing about lizards.
D: I really feel like no other show on this tour is gonna get that.
P: No.
D: Cause that was very specific. So thank you. [crowd cheering]. If anybody here didn't watch that video then they must be like 'what the hell is happening right now?'.
Truth Bombs
Phil's question: Come up with a slogan for Phil's youtube channel.
P: This might be useful, I could do with a new banner.

- literal angel singing
P: I mean, I'll take that.
D: Really?
P: That's not bad.
D: You haven't seen this man play Fortnite, okay. Filthy, disgusting, evil human being.
P: Very true.
D: There's a side you haven't seen.
P: Yeah.

- here's where I pretend I'm innocent
D: That is more accurate, thank you.
P: [?] things leak out on the gaming channel, don't they?
D: I mean, a lot leaks out of your mouth, Phil, that's often weird. I mean, it's technically not a swear, but it's still really traumatizing.
P: I'm sorry.
D: You know what I mean, like, you can really say a lot without saying anything inappropriate.
P: [laughs]

- my forehead is so bright I need glasses
D: That is true.
P: Am I blinding everyone right now?
D: Literally, you can make planes crash just by looking at them.
P: Oh my gosh.
D: I think it's like, you have a really big head, but then also you're really pale. But then also because you had the emo fringe for so long, the skin under it is so smooth and pure -
P: It is -
D: It is literally like the sun coming out of your forehead.
P: Thanks.

Phil's chosen answer: my forehead is so bright I need glasses

Dan's question: If Dan started a religion, what would it be called?
D: A truly terrifying concept. [?] the end of the world, for sure.
P: I'm already very worried about this.
D: But what catchy name will it have?

- the holy church of dank memes
D: [?] You need to have at least 12 shiba inu gifs on your camera roll to be let in. That's how it works.
P: Wow.

- sister daniel-ism
D: Everyone has to get a black sweater, pull it over their head, and then go [makes noise and motion]
P: It did really suit you in a terrifying way.
D: [in a creepy voice] 'My children, you are blessed.' Okay. A cursed image for sure.

- cringe-ism
D: Oh my god. Literally my entire life. It's true.
P: I relate to that one.
D: It is, it's basically just staring at yourself in the mirror at 3 am and go, 'I regret everything I've ever done in my life.' And that's it!
P: Yeah.
D: 'Same', coming from the audience, there, okay. And that is a big mood people, okay.

Dan's chosen answer: cringe-ism

Joint Dan and Phil question: How will they die?
D: I love our audience fantasizing about our death.

- sitting on their couch until they die
D: Yeah, okay.
P: That's probably the most likely.
D: That is actually just fact, honestly
P: Yeah. Just scrolling into the sofa crease until we disappear.
D: Get addicted to an anime, and then just forget to drink and then die on the couch. That's how I think I plan on going.
P: Yeah.

- decapitated on a roller coaster
P: Oh my gosh.
D: Okay, but also so true. Like, have you seen how lanky we are? It's gonna happen.
P: We are way too tall for any ride.
D: And you know Phil, he'd be on the Hulk and then he'd see an iguana and try to take a selfie and then [claps hands together and makes a noise] there we go, it could happen. We are in the state where that could happen the most likely.
P: I know! Be careful.
D: [?] Busch Gardens, gets too intimate with a tiger. It could happen, okay.
P: Never say that again.
D: [laughing] Okay.

- filming danandphilcrafts 4
D: This is just the most accurate question that has ever been asked. Only facts in this house, people, are you looking at this? What would happen in danandphilcrafts 4? I think Satan himself would just come out of the floor and then just rip you in half.
P: I think he would!

Their chosen answer: sitting on their couch until they die
What's in Dan's Box?
- a drag queen outfit
- smosh merch
- jeffree star makeup palettes

[Dan: do you think I'm into like, cross-dressing Anthony Padilla role-playing thing?]
Who's on the wheel?
Wholesome Howell and X-Rated Lester
Dan - slow wifi ("there was a time back when Phil was 27 in 1992" when the internet was really slow. when the internet is slow and it takes a long time to load a gif or image, you appreciate it more)
Phil - donating to charity (what if it's a charity for evil ants)
Dan - your grandma reading your browsing history (it's so hard to share things you love with your grandma, so you should all sit down with your favourite grandma and show them your wattpad account and read smut together until she dies)
Phil - helping elderly people cross the road (what if it's an evil old lady that makes you jay walk in the middle of the freeway)
Dan - your attempts at baking (the point of dan and phil baking is that it's so fun to watch two people try to do something hard even if they fail)
Phil - adopting a dog (what if you're adopting a dog in another dimension and the dog is made of knives)
Friendship Test
Psychic Connections round - word: solids
P: glass
D: (?)

Level Three: Dan, Phil, or a Rat
(Phil gets it right, Dan gets it wrong)

Final Round: Dan and Phil Dilemmas

Dan's dilemma: Phil is being held ransom by an evil clown, but to rescue him Dan has to watch Hello Internet one thousand times.
D: Okay, bloody hell. Okay. Wow.
P: That's a thousand times of "Hi, my name is Dan."
D: Okay, that is not necessary! Everyone right now that's doing square brackets, I am going to find you and block you after the show. I am not messing around. Honestly though, honestly -
P: Yeah?
D: What is this clown going to do?
P: I don't know. Tickle me to death?
D: You can deal with that. Honestly -
P: What?
D: Would I do that? No, I would not watch that a thousand times! [gets shocked]
P: Bad friend!

Phil's dilemma: Dan is about to be hit by a train, but to save him Phil has to divert the train into an orphanage.
P: I can't answer that! I'm leaving. That is ridiculous!
D: Oh my god, Craig!
P: Craig!
D: We're trying to have fun and you're actually (?). Okay, come on.
P: [laughs]. I'm sorry, Dan, I think you would somehow, because you're, like you're lucky in death-defying situations, I think you would manage to survive the train.
D: What?! What are you on about?
P: I think you would. Wait, what if it's an orphanage full of evil ants!? [crowd cheers]
D: We're not gonna do this. No, no, no, no.
P: I would save Dan!
D: Wait, wait. (?) orphanage and you said I would survive. [shocks Phil]. Do not try 'what if it's a dog made of knives' to get out of this situation, okay.
P: Oh my gosh.
D: I think that's enough of that.
Real Conversation Time

What are the favourite concerts that you guys have been to?
D: Ooh, okay, good question!
P: Ohh. See I have fond memories - and this might make people sad - My Chemical Romance! [crowd cheers] When I hear a g-note I just think back to that.
D: Exactly. We saw them at Reading Festival and in Manchester. Oh my god, we saw them twice.
P: We saw them twice.
D: Stans. Okay, right. Although, we've seen Muse like five times. [crowd cheers]
P: I'm very biased but I think Muse is the best live experience I've had.
D: Just because they have like lasers and stuff.
P: It's so good! It's like a whole experience.
D: Yes, it's true.
P: And also this one as well with you guys! [crowd cheers and awws]
D: Did you just say 'because of you guys?'
P: Yeah.
D: Okay, because otherwise that would be really big-headed.
P: It would have. Like, I pick my concert.
D: "The best (?) was me." [laughs]
P: Did you agree?
D: Yeah, I agree. I mean, honestly, going to a concert is fun, and I've had some of the best moments of my life there, but it doesn't compare to being here and seeing all the love from people that actually want to come outside to see us. [crowd cheering] We really appreciate it, honestly.
P: That's nice.
Have you guys ever dyed your hair, and when and why?
D: Ooh. Okay, Phil is naturally ginger.
P: No, I'm not.
D: Okay, uh -
P: My hair is naturally -
D: The tea has been spilled! [crowd cheers]
P: My hair is naturally light brown.
D: Mousy brown.
P: Mousy brown. And I think I first did it when I was about 15 or 16. Emo was a big thing, and I was like 'I want to look cool like these people on myspace.'
D: Yes.
P: So I dyed my hair and I thought it looked better.
D: And he never turned back.
P: What about you?
D: I actually dyed my hair once. I dyed it purple, my fringe purple. [crowd cheers] But then, it was really cheap, so after about two washes it just drained out, and then it went orange. So, I was at school for like three days, and everyone was like 'cool purple hair!' and then next week it was like 'why did you dye your hair ginger?' And I was like [makes noise] okay, I didn't choose to do it, I'm just really cheap. Okay, that was my experience.
P: Yeah. I also dyed my hair ginger when I started, when I was in year seven -
D: Yes -
P: I was eleven, and that was meant to be blond like a surfer.
D: Ooh, and then it came out -
P: Bright orange.
D: Carrot coloured.
P: Yeah.
If you guys could go back and change something about your youtube career, what would it be?
D: Okay, let's see. The year is 2006, I'm signing up to youtube. 'Create a username', it said. I begin to type. Danisnotonfire. [crowd cheers] Okay, honestly -
P: Would you change that?
D: I wouldn't. Because even though I regret so many things, various cringe attack memories just haunt me in my sleep every time I try to close my eyes, that is the same for all of us at several points of our whole lives. But we can't just look back on those and think 'I wish that didn't happen' -
P: No -
D: Because they all make us who we are today -
P: Yes!
D: If I didn't go through everything that horribly made me cringe, I wouldn't be here right now [crowd cheering] So, I mean, like, don't get me wrong, I regret everything, but I'm over it!
P: Yeah!
D: It's fine!
P: So embrace your cringe-y past.
D: Yes, absolutely. Oh my god, I feel like Wholesome Howell is leaking.
P: He is.
D: Alright, that's enough of this. Okay.
Thanks to thatonephantrash for providing show audio!

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Re: Interactive Introverts Fan Submitted Answer Segments (II SPOILERS!)

Post by alittledizzy » Thu Jul 12, 2018 1:48 am

Augusta - 10 July 2018

Intro Banter
D: [audience screaming] Wow, finally something louder than those freaking bugs outside.
P: You have some very terrifying wildlife.
D: We're very excited to be in Georgia, okay. This is like a wilderness for us. Honestly.
P: It is.
D: We went outside briefly to have a drink yesterday and then I just stopped for a second and was like, what the hell is going on with [??] out here?
P: What was that?
D: The ambient noise of London is just like, violent crime. In Georgia it's like [high pitched sound]. What is going on here?
P: I was just sat there, I looked up and there was a hornet building a nest.
D: Okay cool that's fine. And what are they called, the cicadas? One landed on like, the roof of this thing and started going - it was the loudest thing I've ever heard in my life. [??] in the background and I was like oh my god it's an anime. And then this thing is just going [cicada screeching sound]. I literally pooed. [??] nature you're scaring me.
P: Yeah. Totally.
Truth Bombs
Phil's question: What imaginary sport would Phil get a medal in?
- competitive houseplant killing

- unintentional innuendo making
D: We've all seen that.
P: Most people have a filter between their mouth and their brain, but mine was never developed.
D: You don't have a filter between like, your brain and your arms either, so.
P: Or my legs.
D: If you think that if he taped his mouth shut, you'd be safe - no. Your legs? What can you do-
P: I don't know!

- poor posture [??]
D: It's so true.
P: It's all the browsing on the laptop!
D: Phil has that Mr. Burns posture.
P: I do.
D: No [??] curve.
P: I'm not built for this body.
D: Phil won't be able to stand up in three years.

Phil's chosen answer: houseplants

Dan's question: What is hidden in Dan's browsing history?
- what is my fursona?
D: We've been here like five minutes and the first furry joke.

- why doesn't Evan Peters love me
D: Okay, on one hand I feel personally attacked right now. On the other hand - how do you know what's in my incognito tabs?

- Bee Movie Yaoi
P: That's a step too far.
D: It is illegal to even read that sentence, okay.
P: Can't believe you made me read that sentence.
D: I think that's a meme, you know it's somewhere on tumblr thats a thing. I know [??] somewhere like yes, get that stinger out. [audience screams] You've probably drawn it, okay.
P: Please choose one now.

Dan's chosen answer: fursona

Joint Dan and Phil question: What would a documentary about their lives be called?
- the amazing documentary is not on fire
D: Thank you, we are that creative.
P: [??]
D: [??] how we name things. You know that's actually what it's gonna be called, right.

- how to stalk your future best friend
D: A documentary that's just like a how to step by step [??].
P: It is.
D: [??]
P: [??]

- two nerds with no life
D: [??] my god. [??] true.

Their chosen answer: two nerds with no life
What's in Dan's Box?
- his regrets
- his will to live
- his soul
Who's on the wheel?
Wholesome Howell and X-Rated Lester
Dan - being home alone (you can be naked all the time; "Personal activity - browsing on tumblr, doing laundry, aggressively playing Fortnite - it's all better when you're totally naked.")
Phil - helping the elderly (creepy old people)
Dan - owl slide (reminds you life isn't perfectl embrace mistakes)
Phil - baby pigs in tiny raincoats (drown in them)
Dan - his old branding (placenta is nutricious and danosaurs put him where he is today)
Phil - kpop (so talented you don't want to live anymore)
Friendship Test
Psychic Connections round - word: light source
P: fire
D: torch

Dan, Phil, or a Rat
(Phil gets it wrong, Dan gets it right)

Dan and Phil Dilemmas

Dan's dilemma: Phil is about to set on fire, but to save him you would have to return to your old branding.
D: Too far! What are you doing right now!
P: Save me!
D: Lets discuss this. How on fire are you gonna be?
P: It says set on fire, that sounds like it's gonna be pretty bad.
D: That's like... your sock's on fire.
P: What! I need my toes for different reasons.
D: Stop drop and role. A bit of fire would probably make your skin healthier.
P: What?! Are you gonna set me on fire?
D: Okay- wow- how on fire are you?
P: On fire.
D: Okay well if it's not like a light graze... for you, Phil, I would return to dani snot on fire. I would do it.

Phil's dilemma: You will always smell incredible to everyone but forever Dan will smell like beef.
D: Always.
P: That sounds good!
D: You wouldn't shower for seven months and you'd still smell incredible.
P: Like strawberry milkshake.
D: Okay. That's Phil for you right there.

D: Wow. Worked in a vine reference and made that disgusting.
P: The smell of beef isn't that bad.
D: If it's channeling that vine [??] nice beef.
P: I mean, I live with you, I don't want to be around stinky beef smell all day.
D: You could smell incredible [??]
P: Ooh, ah.
D: That was disturbing, okay.
P: I think I'd smell incredible.
D: Are you serious?
P: I'd do it. [gets buzzed]
D: I could never hang out with people again.
Real Conversation Time

Tell us about the video you filmed on the tour bus, lads.
D: The video on the tour bus. We are on the bus. I am gonna kill Phil in a matter of days.
P: Yes.
D: How long before I snap? Lets find out.
P: Today - we had some time this morning, so we filmed an AmazingPhil video on the tour bus!
D: We did! And [audience shouts over him]. You want a worldwide exclusive on the next Dan and Phil video on Phil's channel?
P: It's gonna be called What Dan and Phil Text Each Other.
D: Oh yes. Reading our text messages from the start of the year, and trust me we get up to some weird stuff.
P: Yeah. I realized how weird our conversations were as we were reading through them. I was like this - this is a video.
D: Half of our text message conversations are when we're in the same room. [audience laughs over him talking] I'll be like, on the couch, I'll be like Phil can you pass the drink? And then like - what is wrong with us?
P: Yeah. So that's gonna be released some time this week.
D: And there's also a lot of very disturbing moments without any context. So look forward to that everybody!
How do I convince my crush to like me? I think my anime obsession will put them off.
P: [audience laughing over him] for some people.
D: Yes, bribe them with candy, that's the answer. Will you love me forever? Have this... creative Reese's Pieces. There we go.
P: You don't need to have the exact same interests as your crush, but it does help. So if they hate your anime obsession then they're not worth it anyway!
D: Yes! You should never change yourself to fit in with somebody, but if they don't like anime then they are worthless! Anime or horseriding or whatever weird stuff you get up to on Wattpad - but we all have our niche interest and there is, I mean, like that time we all yeed at the same time? There is a weirdo out there for everybody, you go find them.
P: Also maybe, just play Yuri on Ice [??] your crush [??].
What should I do if I feel like I can't achieve my dreams?
P: I think - having the mindset that you can't achieve anything is just gonna block you. I think you need to think that you can achieve your dreams.
D: Yes.
P: Because anything is possible, and you can do it.
D: You can't live with regrets, because even if you're like - I want to become the world's fastest man it's probably not gonna happen but if you don't try you might miss out on so many things on life because you didn't choose to do something you love, even if it was [??] form. So just look at us-
P: Yeah.
D: When we moved to London, we didn't think oh yeah, we'll just make youtube videos and hope everything works out. We were like, well that's not gonna happen, but we tried anyway - and look where we are now. So even if you [??]
P: [??] I think you should definitely give it a go, otherwise you'll regret it later.
D: Exactly. But as I said earlier, even if you end up making loads of regrets, they could be a good thing too.
Thanks to rachelscoops for providing show audio!

As you can probably see I struggled a bit with the audience volume during some parts of this show, particularly Truth Bombs, so if you attended and can help me fill in some of the blanks please get in touch!

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Re: Interactive Introverts Fan Submitted Answer Segments (II SPOILERS!)

Post by alittledizzy » Thu Jul 12, 2018 4:00 am

Greensboro - 11 July 2018

Intro Banter
P: We are very happy to be in North Carolina!
D: We are indeed.
P: So today is a very special edition of our show, as we are outside!
D: Dun dun dun. Okay, firstly, I was told personally that you’d be outside and I’d be inside. You know I don’t like being outside. I feel very outside right now. I feel scared, I haven’t been outside for several months.
P: Yeah.
D: I’m afraid that an insect or a wild animal might eat me at any moment.
P: Look out for the moths.
D: If there’s a giant frickin’ moth, where’s it gonna fly? The spotlight on my face. It’s gonna look around and it’s gonna be like, who shall I attack? That one, he’s the palest thing-
P: No! Take him!
D: Now that Phil’s removed his fringe, his forehead is reflecting so much light.
P: Dan!
D: Any insect in this state is just gonna be like - make out!
P: Oh my gosh. Another thing you might have noticed today is that we had a giant rainstorm!
D: It’s like-
P: Is anyone feeling a little bit damp?
D: Yes, that adds up to dampness. It was so like, warm and sweaty this afternoon, it’s like God was listening to us complaining about being all sweaty and was like, aha, you want to cool down? [splash noise] Deal with that. Which was fun.
P: It was.
D: But what that meant, as well as all of you being very damp, all of this got very damp. We all had a shower whether we liked it or not.
P: Yeah.
D: And what that means is - a lot of people were like, Dan and Phil, you have to cancel the show, you have to just not do it.
P: Yeah.
D: Because nobody - nobody is weird enough to come outside and sit in a damp seat for two hours. And we were like - you know what.
P: We were like, they’re gonna come to the show!
D: We know some people who are weird enough to be kinda damp for two hours. And that’s all of you. And we’re weird enough to perform when we’re kinda damp for two hours. But what that means is - everything electric here got wet, so for the first time ever we will be doing a very rare and unique Interactive Introverts Unplugged.
P: Ooooh.
D: Official name. It’s gonna be all the exact same show, just without the light and the video because if we turned it on we would get electrocuted and ide.
P: Yes.
D: Unless - do you want us to die? Shoutout to the five people that just went yes-
P: Yaaaas.
D: Woooo. Yes! Yeah! I mean like, same, but also no, you know what I’m saying?
P: Yeah.
D: So I hope you’re ready, this is gonna be a special - so what should we call it, a damp evening with Dan and Phil? A moist experience with Dan and Phil. A super wet and special time-
P: Stop, stop, stop now. We’ll have a unique moist experience.
D: With no context this is gonna sound horrific, so you cannot tell this story to anyone.
P: Okay.
D: What did you get up to yesterday? I had a unique moist experience.
P: Right. Moving on.
Truth Bombs
Phil's question: What job would Phil have if youtube didn’t exist?
- the world’s worst gardener
D: It’s true! Because Phil can’t look after a cacti without them dying in a week.
P: They say some people have green fingers, I’ve got black death fingers.
D: How is [you know what’s coming.]

- small town weatherman
P: I would love that!
D: He’s on local news.
P: That was my childhood dream.
D: To be a small town weatherman?
P: Yeah!
D: Phil, you have like - you can’t tell left and right.
P: Oh yeah.
D: That wouldn’t help tell the weather. Where’s the tornado? Over there. Everyone dies. I’m terrified imagining that.

- a barista who drops everything
P: That’s very true. Not only that, I’d probably drink everyone’s coffee at the same time as well.
D: Definitely. Can I have a frappe? Oh, I dropped the first one on the floor and I drank the second one. Sorry everybody.
P: Yeah.

Phil's chosen answer: worst gardener

Dan's question: What form of torture would make Dan confess everything?
- a sharpie dragged across wood
D: Nooo, no, too far. Are you trying to make me cringe my spine out of my back?
P: Why does that bother you so much?
D: It is the most - who is with me here, that that’s disgusting?
P: Yeah?
D: Imagine a felt tip pen, it’s like a really hard felt tip pen and you get a bit of wood, it’s not a smooth piece of wood it’s like a really hard grainy piece of wood and you’re just like [makes noise].
P: I’d be fine with that.
D: You’d be fine with that?
P: You’d just be like, here’s the nuclear launch code!
D: I’d give it up in one second.

- touching his neck once
D: It would literally. Dan, tell me your darkest secret- [to Phil, presumably after Phil makes to touch his neck] Get - I will kick you right now get away from me with that thing.
P: He would kick me. I’m too scared.
D: I’m not messing about, people. Do not touch my neck.

- hello internet on repeat
D: Oh for god’s sake, okay, thank you, there it is.
P: That’d be lots of ‘hi, my name is-’
D: No! No!
P: So many square brackets.
D: Everyone who is doing square brackets at me - no, no-
P: Oh my gosh. I am gonna find you and block you, okay.

Dan's chosen answer: hello internet on repeat

Joint Dan and Phil question: What do they keep secret from each other?
- they’re both international spies
D: Wow. Mr. and Mrs. Phan. Movie coming to you in the cinema any time now.
P: I would be- [audience screaming]
D: Can we take a moment to picture Phil as a spy?
P: I’d be an amazing spy!
D: What, because you’re like, someone that’s so obviously not a spy?
P: Yes!
D: Okay.
P: Ah-ha.
D: But what spy skills do you have?
P: I can trip on stages and fall on people.
D: I’m sure that that would save the world at least twice.

- their Riverdale wattpad accounts
P: Oh my gosh.
D: That's Phil at five am. [??] in as Jughead2020-
P: Part 76.
D: It was a steamy day in Pops...
P: Slow burn.
D: This is going somewhere weird.

- they are both furries
D: Okay.
P: Ohh.
D: And there's the fur joke, wow.
P: I mean, I don't think I would be a very good furry.
D: You don't think you would be a good furry?
P: No.
D: What qualifies one as a furry, Phil?
P: Well, you've got to make your own fursuits and I'm terrible at crafting.
D: You've seen us bake. You've seen us craft. Can you imagine the monstrosity that our fursuits would be?
P: Oh my gosh.
D: You'd come out looking like some horrible mutant, like a three headed calf or something and Phil would be like 'I'm supposed to be a lion!' and everyone would just run away crying.
P: They would.

Their chosen answer: riverdale wattpad accounts
What's in Dan's Box?
- fursuit tail
- mysterious polaroids of his friends (D: Did you just say 'of my friends'? That's a joke right there. It's just twelve polaroids of Phil.)
- signed picture of Anthony Padilla
Who's on the wheel?
Wholesome Howell and X-Rated Lester
Dan - placentas (don't be ashamed of nature, grind it up and make it into a shampoo, cook it into an omelet)
Phil - pleasant massage (what if a giant ant is massaging you and takes you back to its lair)
Dan - wet socks (you can clean stuff with it, wring it out over a friend, drink from it)
Phil - infinite pizza (so much cheese, which Phil can't have. also, you'd drown in it)
Dan - homeless puppies (you can adopt them)
Phil - world peace (wouldn't go to other planets)
Friendship Test
Psychic Connections round - word: sticky things
P: a stick
D: glue

Level Two: Phantastic Phacts
Dan's question: Name three of Phil's hamsters.
D: Oh my god, okay.
P: Come on.
D: Wow. In case you don't know, Phil, weirdo, used to breed hamsters as a hobby when he was younger.
P: Yeah, but name three of them now!
D: I feel like I actually might know this. Norris, Rollo-
P: No! Bad friend!
D: That's two of your hamsters!
P: Rollo was a guinea pig!
D: A guinea - are you, are you serious, are you serious?
P: That's not a hamster!
D: Oh I named one of your guinea pigs, right, that's it, okay.
P: Fail of epic proportions.
D: Shut up, right.

Phil's question: What is Dan's third ever video?
P: Oh! Third... third Dan video.
D: A classic. Come on, you should know this.
P: It was, it was-
D: Come on.
P: Hello Internet, Butterfingers... Procrastination!
D: Damnit! Yes. Nerd alert. Nerd alert. Who would even know that.
P: One nil to Philly.
D: Right, your mum. Okay.

Level Three: Dan, Phil, or a Rat

Final Round: Dan and Phil Dilemmas

Dan's dilemma: Phil is about to lose all of his limbs, but Dan has to become a lawyer.
D: Oh my god, okay, horrifying flashbacks to law school.
P: Dan!
D: So is that implying I would have to stop youtube-
P: Yes.
D: Go back to law school, graduate - hello - and then be a lawyer?
P: Just don't chop my arms off please.
D: Okay. Phil. I mean, what do you even do with your limbs?
P: What?!
D: You don't exercise-
P: Oh my gosh! Are you saying you would-
D: You basically, you just stick your head in bags of marshmallows. I don't think it would effect your quality of life on any level.
P: What! So you're saying you'd do it?
D: Are we taking this completely seriously?
P: Yes!
D: Obviously I wouldn't do that to Phil. I would abandon all of you and be a lawyer. It's true!
P: Thanks.

Phil's dilemma: Phil will never get sunburned again, but Dan will instantly set on fire in direct sunlight.
P: Oh! Dan!
D: And then Dan will be on fire. [unamused laugh]
P: Oh my gosh!
D: Thanks, Madison.
P: These are brutal today!
D: Phil, take it seriously.
P: I would not let you get set on fire, I wouldn't do it.
D: Awww. Good friend.
Real Conversation Time

How is life on the tour bus? Do you want to kill each other yet?
D: Yes. Okay, good question!
P: I've actually not been travel sick, which is cool.
D: Which is a miracle for Phil.
P: I thought I was gonna be looking out the window like this [presumably makes a sick expression] while everyone was on their laptops.
D: I thought it was just gonna be like ten weeks of Phil projective vomiting on me, so it's an up from what I expected.
P: But it's all been fine. We watched the classic 90s movie Speed last night.
D: We did.
P: It was fun.
D: We also watched The Bodyguard the other night, so we're having a great itme on the bus, playing some violent games of Mario Kart.
P: Yes. The Mario Kart has been intense. That's like a 4D experience, though. Dan keeps winning because I'm just like - woah! Woah! I don't know what's happening!
D: Yes, indeed. I feel like Phil might actually snap and murder me at some point though.
P: I might.
D: So I'm formally saying I want some of you to rescue me.
P: Uh-
D: I'm sure we'll survive til the end of this tour.
P: ... yeah.
What is your favorite thing about performing?
D: Ooh, okay.
P: Well, that's the thing, I was always really shy when I started youtube so I think the idea of being in front of loads of people would be terrifying. I think when I know it's people that watch my videos and you guys are gonna enjoy seeing me, it's like a really nice feeling, it's amazing.
D: Aww. That's good.
P: I think when it's more in front of like - a room full of twelve journalists I'd be more like- aaghhh.
D: I'm peeing. Yeah, I relate to that. I think I just like connecting with people, you know. It's very fun to be like - I'm snazzy on a stage, this is fun. But I just like doing something and then seeing the reaction. That's why I like shows like this one, right now. This just feels so - I was gonna say intimate, is that okay?
P: Intimate.
D: Is that okay? I didn't want to ruin that word again. Phil ruined that word, he totally ruined it.
P: I did, I'm sorry.
D: I don't want to say we had a moist show and Dan felt more intimate than ever before. But that's what I'm trying to say, basically.
P: Yeah.
D: I mean I like moments like this where it just feels like it's all of you, it's all of us, we're in real life, and before we know it we're just gonna fade back onto the internet and be antisocial weirdos.
P: Yeah. But not yet.
Phil! RIP to your emo fringe. Do you feel more confident now? Does anything else make you guys feel more confident?
P: Well, I definitely actually feel more confident with my - uh, quiff.
D: Yes. Do you even remember what Phil looked like with emo hair? It wasn't that long ago, but I'm like - that was twelve years ago. I see a photo of Phil with a fringe and I'm like, who is that? I don't get it?
P: And that's the thing - I wore ripped jeans for the first time.
D: He did! What is it gonna be next?
P: I don't know!
D: Phil is on a roll.
P: I am.
D: The next thing he's gonna say - guys, I'm a furry. Okay. It's gonna happen.
P: I think it's just a sign that you should push yourself out of your comfort zone every so often.
D: Definitely. And if there's something like a feeling, like oh I feel like I want to do this but it might not work out, or I don't know if people would like it - you just have to go for it.
P: Just give it a go! Go for it!
D: If something would make you happy, do not care about what anyone else thinks, okay. You do something because it makes you happy, like Phil and his new quiff.
P: Yes.
Thanks to nigel ratburn for providing show audio!

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Re: Interactive Introverts Fan Submitted Answer Segments (II SPOILERS!)

Post by alittledizzy » Sun Jul 15, 2018 2:43 am

Richmond - 12 July 2018

Intro Banter
P: So I’ve been spending some time on the Richmond wikipedia page today!
D: Which, first, is a thing, lol. And secondly, he actually has.
P: I have! I learned that you’ve got a rat basketball team.
D: And that is the third time Phil has [??] out that fact today, so [??] okay.
P: I was saying Dan could join it as the star player.
D: Thank you. Thank you.
P: Also, slightly nerdy fact, seventy percent of the world’s internet runs underneath Virginia.
D: Wow.
P: So any of your incognito tabs-
D: All that weird smut on wattpad.
P: Flowing underneath us. Oh my gosh.
D: Crazy.
P: I feel [??].
D: Can you imagine that? ALso I’m really excited to be in this weird kind of Arabian Nights theater.
P: Yeah! It’s amazing.
D: And now me and Phil would like to break out our full length duet of A Whole New World.
P: [singing] I could show you the world…
D: [singing] A whole new world… okay, no.
P: That would be terrible.
D: You don’t want that.
P: You don’t want it.
D: It would start out fun, and then very quickly you’d be really upset and wish you’d never came.
Truth Bombs
Phil's question: What form of torture would make Phil confess everything?
- bathe him in cheese
P: No one wants that!
D: I like that it’s bathe as well. It’s not like sprinkle, rub it on him.. It’s like you get the melted nacho cheese and you just pour it in a vat.
P: I’m one of those weirdos that can’t have cheese!
D: And also bathe - the verb, to bathe, is that line scrubbing?
P: No!
D: Is that where Phil would have like, cheese scrubbed on the folds?
P: Oh my gosh! Please move on.
D: I’m sorry for saying that phrase.

- playing an endless loop of mouth sounds in his ear
D: Phil is like - you know that ASMR that makes you all [??]?
P: No! Anything that’s people chewing or-
D: [mouth sounds]
P: Arrghh! No!
D: That is not the ASMR you came to see, sorry.
P: I would immediately give someone the nuclear launch codes if they had a pack of crisps in front of me.

- ginger haired Phil photo album
P: Oh my gosh!
D: [??] Phil dyes his hair black because he’s secretly ginger.
P: I call it mousy brown.
D: That is - well, you have kind of orange eyebrows.
P: Secondly I did try and dye my hair when I was going into secondary school and it went fluorescent orange.
D: When people are naturally ginger that's so beautiful, but when you try to bleach your hair and it goes horribly wrong-
P: Nooo.

Phil's chosen answer: cheese bath

Dan's question: What does Dan dream about at night?
- a dark abyss
D: Oh my god. That's what I see when I look in the mirror.
P: It is.
D: Completely dead inside.
P: It's a photograph of Dan's soul.
D: It is.

- the One Direction reunion
D: What are you trying to do to the people here?
P: Oh my gosh.
D: I dream about that at night and then wake up crying and stay like that for thirteen hours.

- Nick Jonas in a fursuit
D: Yeah. Go ahead. You managed to combine two things that I really didn't want to hear right now. Fur shame me, and remind me of the saddest moment of my life. Okay.

Dan's chosen answer: Nick Jonas in a fursuit

Joint Dan and Phil question: How will they die?
- beeeees?
D: That is a big mood.
P: That would be a fun [??] to the show?
D: Are you ever just like - bees? Same.
P: Release the bees.
D: Where would they come from? That flap, okay.

- Dan falling off his chair and taking Phil down with him
P: Whenever Dan falls off his chair on the gaming channel, he reaches out to pull me down.
D: But you have yet to catch me Phil, I'm just saying. Wow.
P: I mean.
D: Basically [??] I fall off the chair. Too soon? Too soon. [something about the live death of Dan and Phil]

- baking something incorrectly and burning the flat down
P: I mean, the meringues were very close to burning it down.
D: I feel like if the chair is an inevitable death waiting to happen, baking is an inevitable death waiting to happen. Are you surprised that we haven't already set the house on fire baking?

Their chosen answer: bees
What's in Dan's Box?
- an anthill but the ants are tiny dogs (a doghill)
- fursuit made of maltesers
- empty/nothing
Who's on the wheel?
Wholesome Howell and X-Rated Lester
Dan - color being sucked out of the world (everything would be fashionable)
Phil - community service (what if the community is cannibals)
Dan - your grandma seeing your wattpad (sharing interests is good)
Phil - sniffing a bed of flowers (bees in your nose)
Dan - Dan's square hair (no matter how bad things get he can be proud he doesn't have square hair anymore)
Phil - double rainbows (double rainbow song gets stuck in your head)
Friendship Test
Psychic Connections round - word: dairy products
P: strawberry milkshake
D: milk

Dan, Phil, or a Rat
(Phil gets it wrong, Dan gets it wrong)

Dan and Phil Dilemmas

Dan's dilemma: Phil is being attacked by a shark but to save him, you have to have square hair for a year.
D: Oh my god. [??]
P: Dan-
D: How big is this shark?
P: It's this big. [gestures] And it likes a good nibble on a British boy.
D: Okay...
P: Are you gonna let it happen?
D: You don't really use any of your limbs.
P: I do! I need every part of my body.
D: How seriously are we taking this?
P: It's a shark! Dan-
D: Seriously?
P: It's a fricking shark.
D: If you wanted to know, honestly, which I think you would, it would ruin my laugh and you'd laugh for years and years, but Phil I would not let you get bitten by a shark.
P: Thank you.

Phil's dilemma: Dan is going to be abducted by aliens (D: The incoming Dan mpreg story.) but to rescue him Phil has to sacrifice both his arms.
D: Oh my god Emily what is wrong with you.
P: Both arms?! I need those to do things with.
D: [??]
P: What? I do! I use them [?? talking over each other]
D: Whatever, Phil, just make your decision.
P: Look, Dan, it's only a little probing. [??] returning to earth then you can go on one of those mystery weird science tv shows-
D: Is that your decision?
P: And make some money on that.
D: Is that your decision?
P: Yes! [gets buzzed]
D: I cannot believe you'd let me get probed.
Real Conversation Time

When is Phil's new video? Give us a scoop!
D: In case you don't know, we filmed a new AmazingPhil video on the tour bus - where we read the text messages we send to each other.
P: Yeah.
D: Woo.
P: And we send the weirdest messages.
D: We do.
P: This has to be a video. This is so strange.
D: Like, we sit next to each other and instead of talking we text each other.
P: We do.
D: That's how lazy we are. We also like, we speak in this weird alien language that's just like. ICE CREAM. And then it just happens. [??]
P: So I'm trying to edit it whilst on the tour bus, so I'm hoping it will be out tomorrow.
D: Ooh, okay, that's an exclusive.
P: An excluse [??].
D: And if Phil barfs on his laptop - you'll see it tomorrow.
What kind of tattoo should I get, Dan and Phil? Should I get a moon or a star?
P: I think you should leave this up to the audience.
D: What do you think?
P: [to audience] Who wants [?] to get a moon? [audience screams]
D: Okay, okay. And who's feeling star? [audience screams] Okay, pretty cool. I like - they're both pretty swanky celestial bodies.
P: Doesn't [?] mean moon or something? Or is that-
D: It means earth, Phil.
P: Also she's worried - also I'm scared my mom will hate it.
D: Wait until you're 18, run away, and go [??] no, don't do that, respect your mother okay, she squeezed you out.
P: Don't put it like that. I think-
D: Accept the facts.
P: I think what you could do is make the expectations higher. Be like, mum I got a giantic tattoo on my back and then your mum would be like-
D: Of what?
P: -what did you do? Of like... a three legged horse.
D: Okay. Cool. So you're saying she should go to her mum and say I got a tattoo of a three legged horse on my entire back-
P: Wait, and then when your mum is like oh my gosh what have you done, go actually it's just a little moon on my ankle.
D: Wow.
P: Then the relief will be so big it'll be no problem.
D: Or you know, just say it's something really very important to me and I hope you respect that I like beautiful things that symbolically represent my feelings and you should respect that thank you I love you mum.
P: [??]
D: The horse thing would do it, though.
Is there anything that you guys wished you had filmed in life that you have not had the chance to?
D: Anything that happened that we didn't film?
P: That's the thing, imagine if you had those futuristic contact lenses that recorded everything that happened-
D: That would just be the worst ever. Who wants accidental videos of themselves pooping? Nobody. Nobody. Nobody wants that.
P: I think the special thing about memories is keeping them in your head. You don't have to film everything.
D: There were some weird things - like once me and Phil saw ball lightning, okay, and this is the thing-
P: We did!
D: Apparently it doesn't exist. Scientifically no one has ever proved that lightning can turn into a big ball and float across the air - WE SAW IT, okay. It was a thunderstorm at Phil's house and Phil lives up a mountain, or used to, and there was this big thunderstorm when all of a sudden this house got struck by lightning and we saw this giant green ball-
P: It was a ball.
D: Just hovering for like five seconds and then it exploded into a ball of fire-
P: Next to a tree, it set the tree on fire.
D: And we were like - did you just see the giant-
P: Yes.
D: And we told all of our friends and they were like-
P: Whatever.
D: [snooty voice] Shut up. On Wikipedia it says that it's not real.
P: Well we saw it.
D: So I wish I had that.
P: Also when I was in Florida - this was really nice - and I was with my family and we were stood out on like a deck going out into the see, and a family of manatees swum underneath the deck-
D: [using his This is a Cute Thing voice] Oh my goddd! Ahhh!!
P: Teeny little manatees! So I would have liked to have filmed that.
D: Baby see cows. You're making it up, Phil.
P: [??]
D: Or alternatively, the Vegas video.
Thanks to queerofcups for providing show audio!

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Re: Interactive Introverts Fan Submitted Answer Segments (II SPOILERS!)

Post by alittledizzy » Tue Jul 17, 2018 1:34 am

Reading - 13 July 2018

Intro Banter
D: I come from the original Reading in England, how crazy is that? So this is technically the newer and better Reading.
P: It is! How did that happen? Did someone from your town come over her?
D: Like everything in America, a sad person in England went 'I'm gonna go make my own, better Reading with freedom and pretzels!' And here we are. That basically... if you didn't know the origin of your town... but it's funny for me because people say, how does it compare and I'm like oh my god where I grew up it was such a dump, honestly.
P: [giggling]
D: And then I come here and you just - you have pancakes and we don't, so I'm like - you win.
P: Yes.
D: Have you ever seen British pancakes? From our Delia Smith video? They're like these weird flat things.
P: They're so thin!
D: There's a distinct lack of freedom in British pancakes.
P: There is. Also slightly spooky fact, today is Friday the 13th!
D: Dun dun dun.
P: But wait. Not only that - this is our thirteenth show in America!
D: Oh my god. [audience screams] That doesn't mean anything.
P: No.
D: That doesn't mean anything.
P: So if there's a show where I'm gonna fall off the stage, it's probably this one.
D: Yep.
P: Catch me!
D: Why would you even joke, though? You might see the live death of AmazingPhil, because there's a massive chance that it's gonna happen this evening.
P: Yes. [audience screaming a lot]
D: I'm glad that you're happy, okay.
P: Hopefully nothing spooky.
Truth Bombs
Phil's question: What imaginary sport would Phil get a medal in?
- houseplant killing
[he didn't say loki but he still meant loki]

- competitive sunburning
D: It's so true though.
P: It is. I can only be outside for about four minutes before I start setting on fire.
D: Phil has to wear SPF 100 just to stand under that postlight, okay. Phil has that rare Voldemort complexion that's so hard to protect from UV.
P: I'll avada kedavra you in a minute.

- speed hamster breeding
P: Now that is something I'm good at.
D: No, we don't want to hear about it.
P: I used to breed hamsters for a job. I know how to do it! You just play some Barry White, get a tiny little hamster bed, dim the lights, close the curtains... four thousand babies tomorrow!
D: Okay! You know, you set that up for a while, I was really worried you were gonna go into detail about that.

Phil's chosen answer: speed hamster breeding

Dan's question: What job would Dan have if youtube didn't exist?
- sad Hot Topic clerk
D: I feel so attacked right now. It's so accurate. Can I [??] Panic at the Disco CD? I was into that band when I was fourteen, you don't know anything.

- bad therapist
D: That's so true. 'Hey Dan, can I tell you about my problems?' You think you've got problems?! Get out. Okay.
P: You'd both just end up lying face down on the floor.
D: Exactly. Group therapy. Face down for an hour.

- professional Phil fan account
P: [??]
D: That is my job at the moment. So [audience screaming over him] ??
P: [??] accurate

Dan's chosen answer: [??]

Joint Dan and Phil question: What would a documentary about their lives be called?
- the amazing documentary is not on fire
D: We are that creative. What, are you mad?
P: Totally originality there.
D: That is probably actually what it would be called.

- twelve feet of solid cringe
P: I like that!
D: Twelve foot. That is literally a big mood. My career, honestly.

- two giant nerds doing stuff
D: That was actually the original name for this stage show. Accuracy.
P: It was.

Their chosen answer: twelve feet of solid cringe
What's in Dan's Box?
- the actual void
- printed out fanfiction
- Phil

D: Just a poster of Phil and some candles. Phil merch. Wow.
P: Or maybe it's my new merch, coming soon. Hashtag spon.
Who's on the wheel?
Wholesome Howell and X-Rated Lester
Dan - slow wifi (makes you appreciate things)
Phil - fresh flowers (bees stinging your brain)
Dan - infinity wars sopilers (you'd be prepared)
Phil - raining money (money hurricane papercuts you to death)
Dan - being on fire (you'd set yourself on fire)
Phil - world peace (couldn't go to other planets and make out with ice cream face aliens)
Friendship Test
Psychic Connections round - word: beachwear
P: mankini
D: hat

Dan, Phil, or a Rat
(Phil gets it wrong, Dan gets it wrong)

Dan and Phil Dilemmas

Dan's dilemma: Phil has the power to cure any disease, but only if Dan is stuck in his random phase forever.
P: Lol xD
D: Would you even follow a Dan that was just like hey guys, placenta! Also - the game. You just lost it.
P: Look if someone's got a cold in the audience I can just *boop* on the nose and they wouldn't be sniffling.
D: I mean that would really horrify me existentially every waking moment of my life-
P: Yeah?
D: Even though I feel like you'd just get lost on the way to the hospital and die, I think that would be good for the world. You know what, Phil? I would let you have that ability.

Phil's dilemma: Phil will never steal your cereal, but he can never eat breakfast again.
D: Phil. Come on.
P: What, never steal your cereal?
D: I mean, you know that it hurts me emotionally.
P: But I like it-
D: You're up in the cupboard, okay. I wake up in the morning, I come downstairs, I open the cupboard and there's a box of cereal I'm really excited to eat. I shake it and what comes out - dust. Phil is the kind of monster that finishes food and leaves the empty box in the cupboard, okay. Phil, are you saying you would do that to me?
P: I'm a growing boy! I would steal the cereal. [gets buzzed]
Real Conversation Time

When is Phil's video? Give us the scoop.
D: In case you don't know, there is a new AmazingPhil video coming - where we read our text messages. These are the ones we send to each other, because we were looking at it the other day and we were like - we're weird. We are really weird.
P: Yes.
D: I don't know what you think we text each other, but it's not gonna be what we do. We are like two aliens speaking in a weird language together.
P: We are, yeah.
D: We're also really lazy. I dunno if you do this, but we'll be like sat on the same couch and I'll be like, Phil past my laptop.
P: Yeah - so that is gonna be coming tomorrow!
D: Exclusive for Reading, new AmazingPhil tomorrow.
What are some of your favorite things about touring?
P: Seeing you guys!
D: It's true, yes. But what about tour life? Not being in your apartment? The lack of succulents he has to water, yes.
P: I mean, I'm not that much a fan of a tour bus in general but it is cool falling asleep and waking up in a completely new place.
D: Yes, definitely. I mean if you did that any other time it would be really disturbing.
P: It would. Lost time.
D: Quite specific to a tour bus.
P: What about you?
D: I mean, I'm surprised we haven't murdered each other on the tour bus yet, but the wifi is fine. We managed to refresh the data on it so unless Phil accidentally downloads a whole season of something overnight and then I strangle him to death I think it will be fun.
P: We should be alright!
D: Maybe. We'll see.
Any advice for someone starting college? I'm scurred.
P: Scurred, with a u.
D: Scurred. Have you ever been so scared you're scurred? Me, all the time, oh my god.
P: I think everyone starting college is gonna be in the same boat.
D: Yes. I mean it's very easy to think oh my god everyone else going to college is so confident and I'm freaking out and I'm so nervous - no. Literally everybody in a situation where you're going to college or moving to a new town or a new school - the secret to humanity is realizing that everybody is freaking out just as much as you all the time.
P: Yeah!
D: We're all in this together.
P: And something I regretted was not joining lots more - they were called societies in my college-
D: Clubs, yeah.
P: It was like film club, and other clubs, and I didn't really sign up to them and I think that's one of the ways that people can make new friends.
D: I mean you might be like oh that sounds lame, I dunno if I want to do it, but it will - if you go to college there will be a club. So if there actually is like, an lgbt club or an anime club - probably like, a furry club or something - you will find your people and I think that's important. Like tonight, we're all in a room full of people that just frickin' yee'd at the same time. [audience yees] Clearly there is a group of weirdos out there for everybody. So don't be afraid, just go ahead and make friends. I'm glad we got that back, as soon as I said furry club I was worried that was gonna go bad.
Thanks to livingflop for providing show audio!

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Re: Interactive Introverts Fan Submitted Answer Segments (II SPOILERS!)

Post by whatdoiknow » Tue Jul 17, 2018 1:38 am

Newark - 14 July 2018

Intro Banter
P: So we started off the morning in the best way today. Pancakes and french toast! [crowd cheers]
D: We went in big on the freedom breakfast okay.
P: We did!
D: You can't get pancakes like that in the UK.
P: No.
D: You've seen our Delia Smith ones, they just look like weak flat things. Here it's like, they are thick and (?).
P: They are. And you bite in, and an eagle just flies into your mouth (?).
D: Yeah, yeah, that's exactly what happens. So if you're wondering why Phil is vibrating, he is excited to see you, but also the sugar.
P: Yeah.
D: Just a lot of sugar, okay.
P: Also, I learned something about New Jersey.
D: Phil's gonna bust out some facts. [crowd cheers] We've learned something!
P: Which makes me love it even more, because it has the most diners in the world! [crowd cheers]
D: So many potential pancakes for you to eat.
P: Wherever I go, there is always a pancake nearby. That fuels me.
D: That will keep you going, it's true.
Truth Bombs
Phil's question: What job would Phil have if youtube didn't exist?

- making slime and selling it from a white van
D: Okay..
P: Why is there something creepy about the white van aspect of that?
D: I mean, never trust a tall dark stranger in a white van.
P: No.
D: But if you're selling slime, that's like the creepiest kind.
P: Hey!
D: [puts on creepy voice] Would you like this, I made it in my bath?
P: Look, the slime I made wasn't sticky, and it smelled really good, so I think people might want to buy it.
D: Nobody wants your sticky stuff, Phil, okay.

- an instagram dog influencer
P: Oh my gosh!
D: And we all know that would have more followers than Phil, okay.
P: It definitely would.
D: Depending on the dog, probably. I mean, there's dogs that are more famous than either of us.
P: There are.
D: And that's the way it should be.

- a cereal killer
P: Points for the pun.
D: Right, firstly, good one. Secondly, you do literally murder all the cereal that you steal from me, so that works on two levels.
P: Dan, I'm a growing boy.
D: You're a cereal killer, and then you kill me by starving me to death as you steal my breakfast.

Phil's chosen answer: a cereal killer

Dan's question: What is hidden in Dan's browsing history?

- local furry meet and greet
D: There it is, there it is. Okay, thank you. What have we been here, like five minutes? The first furry joke, okay. Local furry meet and greet, how awesome.

- why is my buddy not in london?
P: Oh my gosh. Is your buddy ever in London?
D: Ughhh, I don't know if I want to laugh or cry.
P: Probably both.
D: What's, like, the opposite of 'too soon'? Too late! Release me, please! Okay, oh for god's sake, right.

- bee movie smut fiction
D: Stop, stop.
P: Tyler, take it back!
D: Jesus Christ, Tyler.
P: Wow.
D: What would that even be -
P: I don't want to think about it.
D: We all need to just cleanse our minds after that. Well.
P: (?) laws of sexy aviation. [crowd laughs]
D: [makes 'ffff' sound]
P: Sorry.
D: That's the worst thing you've ever said.
P: I should leave now.
D: Immediately vacant, okay.

Dan's chosen answer: why is my buddy not in london?

Joint Dan and Phil question: How will they die?

- not enough sunlight
D: Yeah.
P: I mean, that's accurate.
D: That's not even a joke. Only facts in this house, people.
P: I need to wear SPF1000 just to stand under a spotlight.
D: It's true. Like, Phil would instantly die if he stepped outside.

- dan will scream on the gaming channel and explode their brains
D: Yes, yes that will happen.
P: Honestly, I've still got a ringing in my ear from Dan's screams.
D: Just a constant Dan going "ahhh!" Does anyone here even have working ears anymore?
P: No! [audience also says no]
D: Okay, wow, fine. You could be saying anything, Phil.

- demonetization
P: Too real.
D: Too real. And honestly, the way that we're going, it's gonna be your fault, Phil.
P: I think so.
D: I feel like Phil has that natural gift to accidentally day something incredibly offensive, even though he didn't mean for it. So that will probably happen tonight.
P: I'm sorry in advance.

Their chosen answer: demonetization
What's in Dan's Box?
- his dignity
- an embarrassing photo of Phil at a christmas party
- llama fursuit
Who's on the wheel?
Wholesome Howell and X-Rated Lester
Dan - weird fanfiction (a really good way to never forget something is to emotionally traumatize yourself. If you wake up in the morning and you've run out of milk, there's a good fanfiction to read and remind you of that)
Phil - birthday cake (sometimes people jump out of a cake to surprise you. what if a shark jumps out and bites you)
Dan - listening to the g-note (you can get abs from crying. gerard way's new workout tape is the start of the black parade over and over)
Phil - good food (who says it's good for humans? what if it's actually good dog food)
Dan - alien invasion (would be good for the universe as a whole because humanity is the worst. "probe me, daddy")
Phil - a hug from grandma (what if it's not your grandma? you wake up in the middle of the night and there's a grandma in your bedroom that wants to hug you)
Friendship Test
Psychic Connections round - word: types of milk
P: strawberry
D: almond

Level Three: Dan, Phil, or a Rat
(Phil gets it right, Dan gets it right)

Final Round: Dan and Phil Dilemmas

Dan's dilemma: Phil is drowning in the sea, but to save him Dan has to be naked in front of one thousand people.
D: Morgan, you little trash bag. Okay, we're not in the sea right now, calm your flaps. Right, uh -
P: Dan.
D: Okay, well, like, how much are you drowning?
P: I - I'm - it just says I'm drowning! There's not like a scale -
D: Is it, like, light drowning, or like a hard drown, you know what I'm saying?
P: Dan. (?)
D: Okay, are we saying that you would die because you drowned?
P: I don't know.
D: Okay, if we are taking this seriously, obviously Phil I would not let you die. I would do it.
P: Yeah!

Phil's dilemma: Dan is covered in bees, but to save him Phil has to lose a finger.
P: What?!
D: Okay, right.
P: Hey, each of my fingers has its own specific use. [crowd 'ohhs' at the implication]
D: Okay -
P: I need them all.
D: You literally don't do anything with any of your limbs.
P: Hey! Dan, you could be a beekeeper, wear a bee suit, get covered in bees -
D: That is not the situation!
P: I'm keeping my fingers.
D: Are you serious?!
P: [gets buzzed] Mother... trees.
D: Mother trees? Phil, that is the dirtiest thing you've ever said.
Real Conversation Time

Do you plan on visiting Manhattan? Do you love it or hate it? I'm not sure if there's an in between.
D: You either love it or hate it, okay.
P: Apparently. I think - are we gonna get time to go to Manhattan?
D: [laughs] Uh, probably not.
P: I'm hoping we will. I mean, we've been before, and I do, I'm one of those people who really love it.
D: Phil loves it. [crowd cheers]
P: I don't know if it's half-nostalgia from watching, like, an American movie where people are in New York.
D: Friends, Spiderman, whatever. And then you go there and for like you it's like, Manhattan smells weird, bye whatever, but you're like a British person. You're like [sings] 'New York!'. [puts on high-pitched voice] Oh my god, it's a train station, it's a statue! [goes back to normal voice] Wow, the statue is so much smaller than I thought it would be.
P: Yeah.
D: That's so weird. But it's still fun.
P: It is still fun. I do like it. I've never been at Christmas though, I think I'd love to go at Christmas.
D: That would be amazing. [crowd cheers] Is it as magical as the movies at Christmastime? [crowd cheers] I mean, personally, it stresses me out a bit. Like, I'm a very slow person, emotionally, physically. So I go there and they're like 'get out of the way!' and I'm like [in a crying tone] 'I'm just walking.' So I freak out a bit.
P: Yep.
D: It's too busy for me.
P: Yep.
D: But if I just have an out-of-body experience, like I'm having right now, then it's all fine.
P: It is.
D: Yeah.
P: So, the answer is - maybe, if we get time.
Can you get the audience to name my puppy?
D: Oh, okay!
P: We've got two options here.
D: Alright, okay what are they?
P: Patches or Richard.
D: Okay, we trained for this, we trained for this in the simulation. Who's on team Patches? [crowd cheers] Who's on team Richard? [crowd cheers louder] I'm on team Richard too!
P: I was on team Richard!
D: It's just kind of - I love real names for dogs.
P: Like human names for dogs.
D: Like, my family dog's called Colin, the dog. [crowd cheers] Isn't that like the weirdest frickin name for a dog you've ever heard, but it's so amazing.
P: Yes.
D: (?) be like 'Richard! Come along!' and you're expecting, like, someone's husband, then it's like a dog. [crowd laughs]
P: We all named a puppy today, that's a nice thing.
D: Aww, look at us, we accomplished something.
P: We did.
I want to start a youtube channel, but I'm too scared. HELP ME.
D: Was the 'help me' in capslock?
P: Yes.
D: Okay, I felt that.
P: I'd say, if you really want to give it a go, you definitely should, because you don't want to go another ten years and then think 'oh I wish I'd tried out that youtube thing but I was too scared'.
D: Yeah, definitely. I mean like, fear holds all people back -
P: Yeah -
D: Just cause you think 'oh I'm not gonna try learning an instrument because I'll never be in a band that makes it' or you know, youtube or dance or anything you want to do. If you have a passion in life, no matter how crazy it might seem, you have to try. If it makes you happy, you can't live with regrets, even if it does flop (?) [crowd cheers]. I never thought I would be here now, but then I just kind of went along with it and everything worked out, so I'm sure it will for you too. [crowd cheers]
P: Good luck with the youtube channel, Kia. Would any of you guys subscribe to Kia? [crowd cheers]
D: She didn't say what kind of channel she had, she actually, she's a cannibal, and she's doing a cannibal (?)
P: Oh my god. I'd still subscribe.
D: Phil would still subscribe! What a supportive dad.
Thanks to howellz for providing show audio!

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Re: Interactive Introverts Fan Submitted Answer Segments (II SPOILERS!)

Post by alittledizzy » Wed Jul 18, 2018 3:08 am

Uniondale - 15 July 2018

Intro Banter
D: A lot of sugar this afternoon. Like, more than usualy for Phil. That really means something.
P: Not only sugar. I had some New York style cheesecake. It was so good!
D: Phil was like, I'm just gonna have a bit of cheesecake - it was this thick.
P: Look you can't just have a bit!
D: It was thicc, honestly.
P: It was.
D: That cake had its own booty. It was massive. Phil - he didn't offer to share. He just finished the whole thing in like one minute.
P: You were too slow!
D: I - I was too slow. Yes, that's the issue here.
P: Also we drove through Manhattan on the tour bus last night!
D: Which was nice. So many human beings.
P: I know!
D: Disgusting.
P: It was crazy.
D: Honestly. Like wow there are so many people here. Wow.
P: It was very beautiful, although I did see a rat nibbling on some food.
D: We did. So obviously - it was the saddest thing I ever saw, a whole pizza was on the floor. So someone had had the worst moment of their entire life where an entire pizza had just slid out.
P: It was.
D: And then they - I presume just instantly cried and went home. And then this rat that was just like, the thiccest rat I've ever seen.
P: It was, yeah.
D: Was having the best day of its life. So shout out to that rat, living his truth.
P: I thought Dan had jumped out of the tour bus.
D: Oh, thank you, ha ha.
P: It was just a rat.
D: Thank you very much, Phil.
Truth Bombs
Phil's question: What animal does Phil remind you of?
- a naked molerat
P: Oh my gosh.
D: Straight off the bat with literally the ugliest animal.
P: I think they're adorable-
D: When you wake up in the morning eerggghh need cereal. That's literally a naked molerat, Phil.
P: That's true.
D: Only facts in this house.

- a dog that keeps walking into walls
D: You know those stupid dogs on youtube, like they see a mirror and run into it? That's Phil emotionally.
P: I won't argue. This stage is pretty dangerous for me to fall off of. [pretends to fall off stage]
D: There's like a sixty percent chance - don't even joke. Did you see that?!
P: That was close.
D: Look at this hexagon, it's a giant trip hazard.
P: It is.
D: You better be ready to catch, okay. You're in the Shamu splash zone, okay.
P: I won't argue with that.

- palest polar bear on earth
P: I mean-
D: It's so true.
P: I do blend into that white card, don't I.
D: Phil has that rare Voldemort complexion that's so hard to protect in the sun. Honestly, he has to wear SPF100 just to stand under that spotlight.
P: I do.
D: He's really risking his life.
P: It'll be 101 in the summer.

Phil's chosen answer: palest polar bear on earth

Dan's question: If Dan started a religion, what would it be called?
- ugh
D: Oh my god.
P: That's the answer.
D: Is that not the biggest mood you've ever seen in your entire life? What is like, the philosophy of your religion? Ugh.
P: Ughhh.
D: Just like - ugh. Okay, yeah.
P: Wow.
D: Honestly, wow.

- stalker to friendism
D: Also known as: the story of Dan and Phil.
P: Yeah.
D: That's a lifetime movie, on tv this summer. I'm not even pretending that's not true.

- the llama xD
D: Oh for god's sake, really?
P: Does it burn you?
D: Yeah it's like a vampire in light. If I see an xD I just start melting instantly. That's so mentally scarring.

Dan's chosen answer: llama xD

Joint Dan and Phil question: If they released a fragrance, what would it be called?
- that perfumussy
D: Okay, security, find Skylar. We need to cut this behavior out immediately.
P: [singing] that perfumussy
D: No!
P: I'm sorry.
D: Nobody asked for that. That's a line further than the squat, you've crossed it already.

- pure sharpie fumes
D: Just give it a little smell of a really toxic paint or any forbidden sniffs, really.
P: We've had so much on our face it's gone into our bloodstream by now.
D: I really think that would explain a lot, wouldn't it? Like ten years of inhaling sharpie fumes, it would really explain everything.

- the smell of lady door
D: Ohhh. Hold the hell up for a second.
P: What scent would that be.
D: [screech] Funny reference to the meme, but as the answer to this - jesus christ, okay. Lets just move on fast.

Their chosen answer: that perfumussy
What's in Dan's Box?
- a llama stuffed animal
- the head of his fursuit
- rest of the fursuit
Who's on the wheel?
Wholesome Howell and X-Rated Lester
Dan - minion memes (good entry level meme)
Phil - crisp high five (so crisp you break the sound barrier)
Dan - getting peed on by a dog (you are the dog's territory and you are bonded with it for life)
Phil - unlimited iphones (drown in them)
Dan - murdering your best friend (should be legal when they steal your cereal)
Phil - a really great lap (so comfy you sleep for a thousand years and everything you love is dead)
Friendship Test
Psychic Connections round - word: first person shooters
P: Doom
D: [??]

D: That game's like thirty years old, you dinosaur! Who the hell would say that!
P: So's your mum!
D: Wow. If my mum was thirty, she'd have been like seven when she had a child - yeah lets not do the math there.

Dan, Phil, or a Rat
(Phil gets it right, Dan gets it right)

Dan and Phil Dilemmas

Dan's dilemma: Phil is being chased by an angry pack of geese but to save him you have to get viciously pecked.

mid scenario banter:
D: Have you ever been chased by geese?
P: Yes!
D: Aren't they the most terrifying things in the universe?
P: They are!
D: Like chill the hell out, geese!
P: My grandma used to own a geese - uh, a goose - own a geese - and he used to chase me because I had bright red hair!
D: Okay... right, well. Vivid imagery.
P: [finishes reading scenario]
D: Oh okay what so I just dive into a pack of geese?
P: Yeah!
D: And then get torn to shreds.
P: Let them peck you!
D: Alright. That' s a bit forceful. That's not the attitude of someone who wants to have their life saved.
P: I can't run very far!
D: I know that. How viciously am I going to get pecked? Can you get killed by geese?
P: They've got little teeth on their tongues.
D: Oh they do, don't they?
P: They do.
D: Honestly. If this was happening - Phil would probably get bitten and die of rabies or something. So in this situation, Phil, I would wade into the geese to save you. I would do it.
P: Thank you!
D: I ain't afraid of no geese. [mocking Phil] 'My grandmother had a geese.' I'll be talking about that for days.

Phil's dilemma: Dan is about to drop his laptop in the sea but to save it Phil has to strip naked and dive with sharks.
P: What?! I can't do that!
D: For some reason you have to take off all your clothes-
P: I'm so pale!
D: -and dive in after my laptop.
P: They'd swim straight for me, I'd be like a glowing beacon!
D: They'd see you and be like, I don't wanna eat that. It looks like mostly sugar and bones.
P: My gosh.
D: Alright, Phil.
P: Dan, I think it'd be a good thing, there's so many weird things in your browsing history - just plunge it into the ocean.
D: Are you serious? You wouldn't strip naked and dive with sharks?
P: No!
D: Oh my god, bad friend! [buzzes him]
Real Conversation Time

What the heck were you two doing on instastories at two am stood up on a tour bus?
P: We were playing One-Two Switch on the Nintendo Switch, and it's a game called Quick Draw where you've got to shoot the other person faster than the other one.
D: What could go wrong when you're stood up trying to play like, a dancing game on a tour bus? I know. Phil is literally going to die on the bus on this tour.
P: And we went around a corner and I knocked three mugs of coffee over, which I didn't get on the story.
D: It was spectacular. Surprisingly. I mean, I'm more impressed that you've managed to play Mario Kart without puking.
P: I know! Something's happened to me - you know how people get sea legs? I think I've got my bus legs now.
D: You've got your bus legs now.
P: Though it is like a 4D experience playing Mario Kart on a bus.
D: Yeah - time to go 'round a corner and the thing's like [makes a car noise] crash. I'm - how long have we got on the bus? Like another month together?
P: What are you thinking? What are you thinking Dan?
D: I mean you heard what he said about playing Fortnite and getting angry. I think one night he's just gonna snap and strange me in my seat.
P: Oh my gosh.
D: But we'll see what happens! Maybe we'll make it to the end of this tour. We'll see.
I have a huge presentation coming up. How do I not pee everywhere?
P: I mean. Uh.
D: Who here relates to that situation? Oh my gosh presentations are literally the worst thing.
P: Yeah.
D: In life.
P: Maybe go pee before you do the presentation?
D: That is a good option. Your body would have to work really hard to generate more pee suddenly.
P: Yes. But, pee aside -
D: [cackling]
P: I think when you're doing a presentation, especially when it's like a class presentation, everyone else has got to do it as well. So everyone who you're presenting to is probably thinking oh no mine's coming up now, oh my gosh.
D: Exactly.
P: And then everyone that's finished is just zoned out completely. So I wouldn't-
D: The secret to life is realizing that no other humans actually care, 'cause we're all just panicking about our own stress all the time.
P: Yeah.
D: It's true! When you're doing a presentation you might be like oh I'm freaking out - everyone's freaking out. As soon as you realize that everyone is freaking out about everything all the time it sets you free.
P: It does.
D: We are all panicking just as much as each other.
P: We are. And one final piece of advice would be just maybe focus your attention on something, like maybe a clock at the back of the room.
D: Yes, talk to the clock, pretend that clock is your friend, love the clock, let the clock love you.
P: Wow.
D: That turned into like, fanfiction for a second.
My crush rejected me, and now I am sad. I think I'm too much of a nerd to be liked.
P: Chris!
D: That is not possible. I mean - you like Phil and that proves that one. [audience cheers] Honestly, exactly.
P: But, Chris, I think if your crush rejected you then they're not worth it anyway!
D: Exactly, yes! That's actually a good point. You should never go for somebody that doesn't love you for the disgusting nerd trashbag that you are.
P: No!
D: I mean what happened five minutes ago when we all yeed at the same time? That showed that there is literally a weirdo out there for everybody.
P: There is.
D: So if we can all find each other in this room, Chris, you can find the anime weirdo for you - you just need to find [?].
P: So good luck with that.
Thanks to afunnyworld for providing show audio!

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