Phil
Philip Lester. Don’t add him. He might be an 80-year old man - HE MIGHT! - He might also be a really handsome prince, I mean you never know… You never know!
Dan
My god, you can’t adjust your hair!!!
Phil
I could scare a chicken away that’s walking towards me…
Dan
I am on butt-watch. I am watching both of your butts. Intensely.
Phil
Goodbye naked lady! Thanks for riding my arm!
Dan
I should just stop trying to defend myself. And tweeting anytime I do something stupid.
Phil
I’m just going to guess where your mouth is… Around there?
Dan
Don’t worry, nothing educational or informative…
Phil
Just stay still! This is what you signed up to!
Dan
So I went to a shop, and got loads of weird stares, BUT!
Phil
You shall not pass! Oh… That was Gandalf wasn’t it? That wasn’t Jesus.
Dan
Like an old lady in a cartoon: “Hello Kids!”
Phil
I would remove my skin, and replace it with crosswords.
Dan
Ow, my abs. OK. Oh, I can order pizza later now…
Phil
You know what rhymes with concentrate? SHUT UP!
Dan
I don’t know why I deflowered the walrus…
Phil
Dan this is going to end up in ambulances!
Dan
Oh god… there’s the impending doom…!
Phil
I’m going to shut the blinds in case any neighbours are watching…
Dan
And you may be wondering what it is about this seemingly dull, inanimate object that’s getting on my tits… but ooooohhhhhhh…!