Rize Liveshow (joint) - 13 September 2018

Dan and Phil liveshows
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lefthandedism
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"If you're left-handed, ask a friend."
"Why am I left-handed?"
"Everybody makes mistakes."
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lefthandedism
simply stressed bisexual
simply stressed bisexual
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knq wrote: Thu Sep 13, 2018 4:18 am *To make these timestamps match up with the IDB Rize upload subtract about 45 seconds from the timestamp. They should match up better with the recording under the cut.
0:05 Stream begins with Dan and Phil looking somewhat unshaven and also singing.
0:30 Phil tries to write "Dan and Phil in Manila" in the push notification but writes "Dan and Phil in man" instead. Dan makes him send this for obvious reasons.
1:10 Dan's response to the question "What's up?" is "Not Phil."
1:35 Dan logic: the statement "Dan and Phil are in Manila" works in writing but then if you read it it wouldn't have worked so he said "Phila." P: Yeah.
2:40 They arrived in Manila via plane, boat, canoe, or tandem kayak. You decide.
3:45 Phil and also the entire Phandom: Is it the Kia Theater?
4:10 Dan makes a rewind noise at Phil's request.
4:20 Dan made Phil go first through immigration because "Phil's a good person who usually knows where he's going."
4:35
Immigration lady but also literally everyone to Dan: Are you with him?
D: Yep.
5:10 Dan pronounces kamilka from the chat as "Maleekla-bla-bla-kamalabalkabab or someone"
5:40 Dan got moist. Phil got moist. Phil is still moist. Moist.
6:05 They saw lightning from the plane. Phil asks if it's safe for a plane to be hit by lightning. Dan assures him it is.
D: It might make all the lights turn off briefly or something but you're fine.
P: You're fine?
D: You're fine.
6:25 Phil discourages Dan from writing the mpreg story. Male pregnancy is Phil's branding okay.
7:00 Google/lightning conspiracy
D: It's all about ions from demonetized videos being collected for nefarious purposes.
P: Dan! They're listening.
7:10 Dan and Phil feel personally victimized by cars honking in Manila.
7:54 P: *honk*
6:05 Sometimes the driver honking their horn is Dan's mum.
8:20 Phil tries to stop Dan from spoiling the next Sims video. We are deprived of the full impact of Phil's eyebrow raise due to Rize stickers on his face, but Dan is not.
8:30 Dan giggles nefariously about something that occurs in one of the gaming videos but doesn't spoil it.
8:40 There's "troughs and peaks galore" in the Sims video. Phil has a way with words.
8:55 They both edited the last gaming video. Dan thinks they edited it too much. Phil's proud of his owl.
9:25 They liked The Bodyguard
P: Watch it! Maybe you could open it in a tab.
D: ...This is an app.
9:40 The multiple screens life
D: I'm like, Switch, laptop, phone. Hello? I am the internet.
P: *while making a finger square over his face cuz Dan did it first* I am the internet!
D: I get my Switch and I go "Hello? Mario?"
10:00 Being funny reminds Phil of other things that were funny. We circle back to talking about Dan's impromptu mpreg fic. Jeff!
10:55 They attempt to explain their flight. Phil makes a globe. Dan makes a second globe. They have two globes and no one knows why. Picture the globe(s). You are getting sleepy. Or maybe that's just Dan and Phil.
11:10 Phil suggests licking Antarctica.
11:35 Phil was ready for Dan's pop quiz. Go Phil.
12:00 On the flight Dan went crazy and then drove Phil crazy by harmonizing with the plane/engine noises.
12:25 Phil tried to get Dan to shut up by saying a woman was annoyed. The woman wasn't annoyed. Phil was annoyed.
12:45 Dan wants to talk about scary bugs again. Phil leans back and looks So Done. Damn those Rize stickers for robbing us of Phil's full expression.
13:00 Dan complains about their Airbnb while Phil explores all the ways "rainforest" and "beach" can be combined into one word. P: It was brainforest... Rainbeach... Beachforest.
13:45 Dan wants to say he had a good time despite the bugs but he's just seen the word "moths" in the chat and he needs to tell us that there were in fact moths at the Airbnb. After a short brain reboot, he claims to have adjusted to the moth/mosquito lifestyle.
14:10 Phil lay by the pool and got freckles and dick.
P: I lapped it up.
14:25 Philtosynthesis
14:35 yaaaasssssss
14:45 One day they traveled on all forms of transport except unicycle.
15:10 Matryn still rocks cable-cars.
15:30 Phil tells Dan that Dan had a great time. Dan does a cute shoulder thing. Dan agrees he had a great time.
15:31 Phil got attacked... by a plant.
16:00 It is now unclear whether Phil was attacked by one (1) plant or two (2) separate species of plant.
16:20 They didn't see a python but they did see a branch.
16:50 One day they sat on the beach, had an ice cream, and didn't see a crocodile. They could have seen a crocodile though.
16:35 Phil facts: Crocodiles don't eat tourists.
17:40 Hold on they have to Google what animals to be scared of in Manila
P: Do you know what the answer will be? Which is the answer for all places.
D: What?
P: Humans.
D: Wow. That is. That is some deep shit right there, Phil. Oh my god.
18:40 I'm not sure what animal Phil's pretending to be but it wants to bite Dan.
18:45 Dan has some volume issues
P: I could just have a little microsleep now.
D: DON'T!
19:10 Coming soon to Dan and Phil Games: oxbow lakes.
19:20 Dan's disaster threshold is very low.
20:00 - 24:00 fan interaction
22:20 Dan looks at Phil while laughing and it's cute.
23:30 This interaction is equally cute:
D: I wanna drag one more person. Can we do that?
P: Can we get five?
D: This. Can we? My. My thumb is too fat.
P: Your thumb.
D: Phil, help.
Phil, already helping: Dan, what's wrong with you?
24:30 Dan would like us to appreciate once more that Phil is blessing us with his presence when he could be sleeping. Valid.
24:50 Dan is pleased by how many words sort of sound like Phil's name
D: Phil is gonna fill Manila with his phila.
P: Wow. You need to stop.
25:25 Remember that giveaway thing? Dan and Phil plan on remembering next week.
27:50 Next week's Rize show might be Monday in Hong Kong or Thursday in Mumbai or when they're back in London. Phil says this doesn't feel like the last tour liveshow so probably/hopefully before London.
28:45 They were saying goodbye but they stop to appreciate the username "stupendous goose."
29:00 Phil closes the app with a mildly concerning crashing noise.
"If you're left-handed, ask a friend."
"Why am I left-handed?"
"Everybody makes mistakes."
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lefthandedism
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itasca00 wrote: Thu Sep 13, 2018 4:55 am I definitely didn’t sneak off to a different part of my building earlier today to hide from my coworkers and watch this live. Definitely not. (But if I did, I wouldn’t feel bad. I worked a twelve hour day today, and I deserved that break, damnit!)
  • [-0:13] (This happened before the recording started.) They write the push notification. “Dan and Phil in Manila” doesn’t fit, so Dan insists on this instead:
    Image
  • [2:16] Phil’s customs story.
    Dan: Phil almost immediately got deported, like, literally failed immigration.
    ...
    Phil: She said, “Where’s your hotel?” And I was like, I don’t actually know where I’m staying.
    Dan: “It’s in...the city.”
    Phil: I said, “I’m in the city.” She’s like, “Yeah, but, like, what’s the address?” I was like, “It’s on my phone.” And she’s like, “No, it’s okay. It’s fine.”
    Dan: “So, okay. So, so, what are you doin’ here?”
    Phil: And I was like, “I’m doing a show.”
    Dan: “Wha--Where are you doing the show?”
    Phil: “And I’m doing the show in Manila.”
    Dan: “But wha--what’s the name of the theatre?”
    Phil: My mind went blank about the name of the theatre.
    Dan: “What’s the theatre? You’re performing a show, are you? What is it?”
    Phil: I was like, “Is it the Kia Theatre?”
    Dan: “Alright, what’s the address?”
    Phil: “*stutters* Manila Street?”
  • [3:28] Dan does a cute rewind noise. Phil does his at [6:30].
  • [5:54] This is a weird story...
    Phil: Did you know that if you are ever stood in a field and your hair starts to stand on end by itself, you’re probably about to get struck by lightning.
    Dan: Which is exactly what happened to us when we were stood outside the Google headquarters in London.
    Phil: That did happen to us!
    Dan: Who remembers that [unintelligible]? Who remembers that?
    Phil: It’s out there.
    Dan: Exactly.
    Phil: The truth is out there.
    Dan: And then it was in the news.
    Phil: It was in the news. No one knows what happened, but now we have some electrical powers that we don’t know about.
    Dan: It’s all the ions from demonetized videos...
    Phil: Bzzzzt! Bzzzzt! Bzzzzt!
    Dan: ...being collected for nefarious purposes.
    Phil: Dan, they’re listening.
    Dan: Um.
    Phil: [unintelligible] They can hear you. Should we rewind again?
    Dan: Algorithm protect me!
  • [7:28] A new Sims video is coming. They’re very excited about it. Among other things, they say it’s a “doozy.”
  • [7:38] Dan says they’ve actually filmed “a couple” gaming videos. So we have more to look forward to.
  • [8:08] They both edited the last gaming video. I don’t know why, but them both editing the same video kinda blows my mind.
  • [10:06] Dan rants about how long the flight from Sydney to Manila took and how the flight length doesn’t make sense.
  • [10:13] Some fun globe hand motions. Phil tries to hypnotise us, and Dan pushes his hands away.
  • [11:12] Story of how Dan tried to replicate the noise of the plane. It drove Phil crazy.
  • [13:21] Phil shows us some freckles he got from laying by the pool.
    Dan: Phil got that D.

    Dan: Did you enjoy the D vitamin? Yes, Juanita!
    Phil: I did! I lapped it up.
    Dan: *makes a face*
  • [14:24] Martyn rocked the cable car they took in Australia, and Phil didn’t like it.
  • [14:39] Dan makes a beautiful face.
  • [14:44] Phil was stabbed by a plant, and he freaked out. He also poked a plant that he was specifically told not to touch, and it drew blood. Silly Philly.
  • [15:48] It sounds like we’re lucky Dan and Phil are still alive! They went to a beach that was closed the next day because a four meter long crocodile was spotted there. Dan calls crocodiles the “wasps of the sea.”
  • [21:23] Referring to having three viewers on the screen at the same time:
    Dan: That was a goddamn hoot right there.
    Phil: I know, I was like, I felt like we were on the Brady bunch.
  • [22:53] They’re still working on the TBC dates. They sound hopeful about them!
  • [23:37] Phil shows his Russian visa picture. The Indian visa photo is apparently funny:
    Dan: We both look like Bollywood villains in those photos.
  • [25:01] They’re planning on having a liveshow next week. Maybe it will be Monday in Hong Kong, maybe it will be Thursday in Mumbai, or maybe it will be back when they’re in London. They want to try to do one more while they’re still on tour, though.
  • [25:26] Dan says the next Sims video will be coming in “the next couple days.”
  • [26:12] Phil’s struggle to properly end a liveshow continues.
"If you're left-handed, ask a friend."
"Why am I left-handed?"
"Everybody makes mistakes."
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