Phil Liveshow (Joint) - 18 November 2018

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I was so excited yesterday when Dan tweeted that they were doing a liveshow in an hour because I was about to take off on an hour-long flight. Then my flight was delayed fifteen minutes, and I missed the first fifteen minutes of the liveshow. Otherwise, the timing of the liveshow was perfect because I was able to work on my timestamps on my next flight. My neighbors on the plane definitely read my screen and were disturbed by what they saw, but that's just what they get for being nosy. Anyway, here are my highlights:

• [2:29] Dan thinks Phil is insulting him:

  P: What you could do is put a bag over your head, and I’ll draw Dan on the bag, and we’ll take a photo of that.
  D: Wow. Okay. What ya sayin’ there?
  P: Bag!
  D: Um, okay.
  P: And--
  D: Just got called a butt by Phil.
  P: I--No.
  D: Absolute margarine face over here.

• [3:48] I like to think that it's the Haru pillow that Dan cuddles every night.

  P: A lot of people have been asking why you were carrying the pillow up the stairs when I fainted ‘cause I don’t think I explained it right in the video.
  D: I sleep holding a pillow. I woke up holding the pillow, and I didn’t let go of it.
  P: *laughs* You didn’t--Why?
  D: I think I woke up so suddenly--
  P: You were like: *imitates Dan*
  D: --and I was like, “What?! What’s--I n--I jus--I’m not really aware of what’s happening ‘cause I’m so tired, but I think I have to act quickly.” So I just ran up the stairs, and then I was like, *takes pillow* “Hello? Phil? What’s happening?”
  P: “What’s happening” And I was like--
  D: “Why the hell am I holding this?” Yeah, um.
  P: --“Why have you got a pillow?”

• [4:26] Dan sasses the commenters on Phil’s latest video:

  P: You also get to delve inside my brain, which was quite fun.
  D: Quite disturbing--
  P: Yeah.
  D: --and also opened the gateway for all of the, um, armchair brain surgeons on YouTube to be like, “Phil, I’ve looked at your brain scan, and, with my knowledge, I can dia--”
  P: There’s nothing there!
  D: “--I can diagnose you with the following thirteen medical problems.”
  P: The h--The headline is: There is no brain. There’s just--
  D: According to your doctor--
  P: --a cave.
  D: --but what about craig2378wombat on YouTube who said you’ve got a rare genetic disease?
  P: I don’t--
  D: I feel like--
  P: --have a rare disease.
  D: --I feel like they know more than your doctor.
  P: Uh, my brain got looked at by three doctors, and they all agreed.
  D: And they’re all wrong.
  P: It was great. It was the best brain they’ve ever seen. They’re gonna cut it out and put it on a pedestal.

• [5:20] Janice from the shop, anyone?

  D: If it’s a weekend morning, I think it’s perfectly acceptable to go shopping in your pajamas. I mean, I wouldn’t judge somebody for going shopping in their pajamas any time--
  P: No.
  D: --‘cause I’m a nice person that doesn’t judge others.
  P: Well, if you see someone, you’d be like, “Oh, they’re a bit cozy.”
  D: But you--you were like, “I wouldn’t--I wouldn’t go--“
  P: Well, I wouldn’t go in my pajamas.
  D: ‘Cause Phil was like, “I’m not going in my pajamas.” I was like, “Why? No one cares.”
  P: I feel like--
  D: You think--You think that that’s a thing?
  P: I feel like, when I go to the shop, I wanna look mildly okay.
  D: For who? For what?
  P: The checkout assistant! They don’t want to see me in my PJs.
  D: What does it matter?
  P: They’re, like, a mess.
  D: Okay.
  P: You’ve seen my pajamas, Dan.
  D: Do you think--
  P: I’ve got emoji--
  D: Okay, yeah. You--
  P: --Star Wars--
  D: Look--
  P: --Muppets.
  D: There is a difference--
  P: Gone wild.
  D: --between pajamas and Phil’s pajama collection.
  P: Exactly.
  D: Okay. But I’m saying, like: Do you think that even on a Sunday, does it make a difference? Like a Sunday morning, it’s just get some milk and some bread.
  P: You are right that a magical time happens on a Sunday morning when I think I would probably--
  D: And there were a lot of people wearing sweatpants.
  P: Sweatpants is fine, but I’m talking full on PJs is a bit much.
  D: Wow.
  P: So, I’m judging you, Dan Howell.

• [6:31] The UK is a wild place where apparently it’s a thing to have children swim in their pajamas and/or jeans to simulate what it’s like to fall off a boat.
• [7:27] I think there's a lot that needs to be unpacked from this moment:

  P: Well, Abercrombie used to try and lure you in with shirtless males stood outside.
  D: I mean a lot--There’s a lot of cringe there.
  P: But that intimidated me more ‘cause I didn’t want to, like, make eye contact with them
  D: Yeah.
  P: Because I was like, I don’t wanna--I don’t wanna walk in here.
  D: You--You just weren’t cool enough for Abercrombie & Fitch back in the day.
  P: Should I have taken my shirt off, greased myself up, and walked in there with them?
  D: No, Phil. You’re on the--You’re on the right side of history is what that was.
  P: Fine.

• [14:05] Wow, Phil could have a new career as a censor:

  D: Firstly, miracle sent down from above: We are coming to Brazil.
  P: We are comin’ to Brazil.
  D: Better frickin’ believe it.
  P: That was a “frickin’” wasn’t it?
  D: And sorry--Yeah. It was--
  P: That was close.
  D: S-S-Still a healthy 12.
  P: Oh, my God.

• [14:20] Dan sasses the venue for the Interactive Introverts movie premiere in Brazil for not being cooperative with making the information available for everyone in a timely manner, and Phil agrees with him.
• [17:54] Dan reveals that the liveshow is being brought to us over a tethered connection to Phil’s phone, and the liveshow stopped because Phil abruptly ran out of data and had to purchase more.
• [19:17] Dan tells the story of the experience with his dentist described in the tweet below:
• [20:46] Dan and Phil do some sort of version of the fist bump from Big Hero 6. Then, Phil has a suggestion to make it more dental:

  P: Should have done that. And then just remove each other’s teeth at the end.

• [21:06] Dan says they’re going to play Taiko no Tatsujin: Drum 'n' Fun! in the next gaming video. Phil says that something related to this video (I can’t tell for sure if he means filming or posting) is going to happen on Monday or Tuesday.
• [21:15] Phil thinks PINOF 10 will “pretty much definitely” be in December after they get back from Brazil.
• [21:35] Someone in the chat named Laurel asks a question, and Dan and Phil go on a tangent about the Laurel or Yanny audio thing. Dan sasses Phil for “pretending” that he heard Yanny.
• [24:02] Dan reads in the chat that someone’s dog just threw up. As Phil lists out the top fans, Dan won’t shut up about it:

  D: Dab. You need to scoop it up, and you need to dab. And then you need to dry. And then you need to get more dab. And then dry. And just keep dabbing and drying

• [25:31] Dan and Phil say there’s not going to be a 2019 calendar, but Phil says he might be releasing something similar. This is the thing that Phil said his hand was aching from in the last liveshow, and Dan says that it’s time related. Phil later says that it’s not an advent calendar.
• [26:01] Dan and Phil have a disagreement over what “this Thursday” and “next Thursday” mean. Dan is totally wrong. “This Thursday” is this coming Thursday. “Next Thursday” is the Thursday after “this Thursday.” And “last Thursday” is the Thursday that most recently passed. Fight me.
• [26:33] Dan disagrees vehemently with someone in the chat who says that Sunday is the start of the week, and Phil agrees with Dan. Dan is wrong again. Sunday is definitely the start of a new week. The only thing I don’t like about their calendar is that they put Sunday at the end of the week. Fight me harder.
• [26:49] Dan says that having a “Dan Shop and a Phil Shop and a Dan and Phil Shop” is “inconvenient for some people,” so they’re going to combine them into one “Giga-Shop” for Christmas / the festive season. Phil says he’s releasing three or four new things. Dan says he’s releasing one or two (or three?) new things. Dan thinks he’s releasing two new things and Phil’s releasing three new things. Dan and Phil Shop is releasing one (technically two) new thing(s) too. If everything goes to plan, all this new merch will be released on Thursday.
• [27:40] Phil reveals one of the new things he will be releasing, which is the corgi hat from this Instagram story. Apparently, Dan had quite a big say in the design of this hat.
• [28:45] Phil admires Dan:

  P: Dan, you suit hats. There you go. Look at that. You can look like Dan.
  D: I suit hats, do I?
  P: You do! I don’t s--li--I’ll put it on, but I--I look like a--a teacher or something.

• [29:23] Sometimes I just can't with these two.

  P: Use the code “hexagon”--
  D: Makin’ shelf space, huh?
  P: --in the checkout.
  D: See, I didn’t know that.
  P: Hexagon.
  D: That’s cool, man.
  P: It’s final days of the hexagon, so, if you wanna grab some of that for a great price--
  D: Except it’s not final days of the hexagon ‘cause when it comes out in December, we’re gonna be talking about the DVD a lot, which has a lot of hexagons.
  P: Which has lots of hexagons in it.
  D: But hexagons as a concept: It’s gonna be big in the first week of December.
  P: It is. But--
  D: If you wanna invest in hexagons--
  P: Dis--Discount code “hexagon” is only lasting for a few more days if you wanna--if you wanna grab yourself a discount.
  D: But if you are in the market for investing in shapes, then this is a great time.
  P: Stop. Uh, yeah.
  D: Take it all out of Bitcoin.
  P: What’s a hexagon?
  D: Put it into hexagons.
  P: H-E-X-A-G-O-N
  D: I mean, Google it.
  P: There you go.
  D: And while you’re there, Google, “What’s the first day of the week?”
  P: H-E-X-A-G-O-N. That’s it.

• [32:05] Dan tries to end the liveshow, but Phil refuses. Phil asks a question about Article 13 at [32:12], and he insists on getting an answer at [32:32]. Dan capitulates, and we end up getting an extra two minutes of liveshow.

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[31:38]

I just typed this up as a response on tumblr but I'm gonna go ahead and drop it here too - rewatching the liveshow made me highly annoyed all over again at Dan not letting Phil talk. Also correct me if I'm wrong but Phil knew exactly what it was and from his evasion I feel like it's Dan who was unsure?

D: Article 13. What's your opinion on Article 13?
P: Don't ask me about intense politics.
D: Look honestly if it's this deal, no deal, or no brexit, and ministers don't want to vote for this deal, then that means it's either gonna be no deal or no brexit- and honestly, I don't think that anyone would go through with no deal. So is there gonna be no brexit?
P: We need to get Noel Edmonds on this. Deal or no deal? That's my answer.
D: Okay, I'm very hungry, and this is descending to a level I'm afraid that Phil's gonna swear-
P: Article 13, is that the-
D: Bah dah buh duh okay. [interrupting Phil sounds] Um so yeah.
P: We don't want that.
D: Big corgi. Brazil. Having a great time. Sniff some candles. It has been a jazzy evening-
P: A jevening. Is that - are you like, winding up?
D: Yeah because I'm really hungry and you're scaring me.
P: Why, because I'm saying Article 13?
D: No, no just - literally everything.
P: But is that the European copyright thing? Or is that another article?
D: [silence and leaning out of frame] There's the EU meme law thing.
P: Yeah.
D: Which is the thing that youtube is talking about.
P: Yes, that's the thing.
D: The EU is trying to propose a bill that could make it so that youtube has to close down in the UK and Europe.
P: Save our internet.
D: Do you want to end the liveshow on that?
P: No. That's what I'm saying-
D: Drama.
P: That's what I thought you were talking about.
D: No. I was talking about Brexit.
P: Oh. That's also depressing. Uh-
D: There's a lot of articles.
P: There's a lot of articles.