Phil Liveshow (Joint) - 10 December 2018

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Well, I have to say that this really wasn’t my favorite liveshow. They spent like ten minutes on the DVD then like one to two minutes each on a bunch of interesting topics like PINOF 10 and the movie premiere. And I definitely audibly said, “Noooooo!” when they announced the return of Dilmas as a replacement for Gamingmas, lol. Nevertheless, I’ll take a lackluster liveshow over nothing any day. Here are my highlights:

• [2:42] Twins? Double pregnancy? Dan and Phil having a collective pregnancy and birth as one being? There’s a lot here.

  D: This is like--This is--It’s more than a child that we birthed for nine months.
  P: It is!
  D: This is like twins that we--
  P: *adjusts laptop* I’m just moving it to adjust to where you’re sitting.
  D: This is like twins that we had back-to-back in one pregnancy.
  P: Yeah.
  D: That’s a--
  P: It was kind of the length of a pregnancy--
  D: That’s a metaphor for--It was a double pregnancy!
  P: --because went on tour in--
  D: A degnancy.
  P: --March, and now we’re back.
  D: We--We said, “Hey, this is a thing we’re doing,” last November--
  P: And now we’ve--
  D: --or October.
  P: --pushed it out.
  D: And now we’ve squeezed it out of the birth canal.
  P: We have.
  D: We’re crying. We are covered in blood, but finally, after all the drama of this pregnancy--
  P: Yeah.
  D: --it is here.
  P: It is here! It has been born! So I’m so excited--
  D: *hold the DVD up to his face and imitates a baby’s cries*
  P: --that you guys get to see it.

• [4:14] This is only a highlight because of the voice Dan does at the end to imitate him saying his own line.

  P: We could do the whole show like this. Wait.
  D: So--So what are we doing here, Dan?
  P: No, no, no. Wait, wait, wait.
  D: Okay. Here we go. Wait.
  P: Boom.
  D: So what are we doing here--I just did your line--Dan?
  P: So what are we--what are we doing here, Dan?
  D: *awesome voice* Giving the people what they want, Phil.

• [6:46] This seems like it might be a bit of an overreaction, Dan. (I know "hand" makes more sense, but I definitely hear "head," so I'm leaving it like this.)

  D: If you move that laptop one more time--
  P: It’s like--
  D: --I’m gonna cut your head off.
  P: --on a motor. Right, let’s stay in--in frame, then.
  D: I’m here. I’m not going anywhere.
  P: Oh, he says that. *moves out of frame slowly*
  D: Why are you attacking me? I thought you were my friend.

• [7:41] The Twitter viewing party for Interactive Introverts will likely be next week. Maybe Wednesday, maybe later.
• [9:14] Dan reads a chat comment that asks him to stop scratching the rough plastic cover of the DVD case with his fingernails. Dan does a cheeky little scratch with one fingernail, then he starts scratching the cover with this teeth and nose. Phil tells him to stop, and he says that some kinky people surely liked it.
• [11:08] Phil tells the story of the tree being delivered to their apartment. Apparently, it was guaranteed that it would be delivered by a man in a kilt, but two teenagers who didn’t want to be there delivered it instead. A memorable part of this story ([12:18]):

  P: So, this year, I was like, “You know what, Dan? I’m gonna throw you under the kilt-shaped bus.”
  D: And you know what? I was like, “Whatever.”
  P: If you get thrown under a kilt, don’t look up.
  D: *noncommittal shrug*

• [14:20] Phil goes off screen to turn the lights to the rave tree setting. This takes a while, so he says ([14:31]):

  P: Wait for it!
  D: Oh, we’re waiting, Phil.

  Shortly thereafter, this happens ([14:54]):

  P: Is it this? No, that’s like, “Ooh, I’m slowly coming back to life! I’ve been hibernating for years!”
  D: I don’t want to be edged by a tree. Yeah.

  This part was super confusing to me, but I think that, much like “fanny,” “edged” can mean something very different in British and American English. Can anyone confirm whether this Urban Dictionary definition is accurate? Finally, at [15:05], Phil finds the rave tree setting, and Dan and Phil start singing the rave tree song.
• [15:30] Dan and Phil tell a story of a mystery in their house. A white squirrel ornament magically appeared on their tree. Dan thought they had had it forever, and Phil started to think he was going crazy. As it turns out, a friend saw their tree’s aesthetic, got the ornament, and just hung it up when they were visiting. Phil thinks this was a good prank.
• [17:47] Dan and Phil talk about YouTube Rewind, including why they weren’t in it. They say that they were asked to participate, but they weren’t available. Dan said this as a general statement, but something tells me that this might actually be what happened to them ([18:27]):

  D: If somebody wasn’t in it, they probably either said no, or they were asked two days before it was happening, and they were doing something else.

  Eventually, Dan asks Phil what he thought of YouTube Rewind, and it sounds like Phil was not very impressed. Dan thinks the logistics and production value of YouTube Rewind are always impressive, but he mostly agrees with this tweet that he liked:
• [21:03] A nice rhyme from Dan:

  P: I was gonna wear some merch, but it’s all in the wash. I keep wearing it.
  D: Rippity roo, no spon for you.

• [21:07] Dan and Phil talk about PINOF 10. Phil says that it’s one of his favorites. He doesn’t really remember PINOF 4-7. He remembers PINOF 1, 9, and 10 quite well. Phil says he sat for three full days editing PINOF 10 with Dan, and it was still making him laugh after spending that much time with it. He thinks that’s a good sign, and he equates the editing process with carving a statue out of a solid cube of marble. Dan goes further and says that they created David by Michelangelo. Then, this happens ([22:13]):

  D: And the giant Sharpie is the tiny marble penis.
  P: His ass was the whiskers.

• [22:32] Dan says that we, the audience, “don’t even know all the other stuff” that happened in PINOF 10 before immediately saying that everyone is asking about PINOF 10 bloopers. Phil says that they already used a lot of the good stuff. But then Dan says that they’ll have to see whether we’ve been good this year, which leads me to believe that they’re just putting us on.
• [23:12] Dan and Phil talk about going to Brazil. They say they got on a flight in the evening in London, stayed up for the entire flight, got to Brazil when it was midday, forced themselves to stay up for the rest of the day, did the movie premiere the next day, then immediately flew back to London that evening. They go on about how beautiful Brazil is for a while.
• [26:21] Dan and Phil announce that they will be bringing back Dilmas to replace Gamingmas this year.
• [27:16] Phil sticks his tongue out and stiffly moves it about. It’s highly disturbing.
• [27:20] Before Dilmas, there’s going to be a couple of other gaming videos. In one of these videos, there’s apparently a pretty eventful conclusion to something.
• [30:41] Phil returns to the idea of the movie being like his and Dan’s baby. Then, he tries to end the liveshow. Dan objects with a series of “No”s in various voices that I found entertaining.

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• [6:46] This seems like it might be a bit of an overreaction, Dan. (I know "hand" makes more sense, but I definitely hear "head," so I'm leaving it like this.)

  D: If you move that laptop one more time--
  P: It’s like--
  D: --I’m gonna cut your head off.
  P: --on a motor. Right, let’s stay in--in frame, then.
  D: I’m here. I’m not going anywhere.
  P: Oh, he says that. *moves out of frame slowly*
  D: Why are you attacking me? I thought you were my friend.

I was right about this quote! Before posting, I saw a Tumblr post whose captions made me second guess myself, but a later moment in the liveshow proves that my transcription is correct:

• [9:57] Phil moves the laptop again, and Dan says that he now has to decapitate Phil. Phil jokes that if he stays half-way off the screen, Dan will slowly find his way back into the shot. Then, they settle on the solution of moving the laptop back to widen the shot a bit, although Dan initially protested rather vigorously.

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[14:54]

P: Is it this? No, that’s like, “Ooh, I’m slowly coming back to life! I’ve been hibernating for years!”
D: I don’t want to be edged by a tree. Yeah.

This part was super confusing to me, but I think that, much like “fanny,” “edged” can mean something very different in British and American English. Can anyone confirm whether this Urban Dictionary definition is accurate?

I definitely took it as the sexual meaning, as in the tree was teasing the lighting process of actually being fully lit out for a dramatic amount of time.