Autumn Candle Haul! (Live Show #3) - 13 October 2019

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Yay, liveshow! I found myself laughing quite a few times, and I thought it was a lot of fun overall! Here are my highlights:

• [0:06] Phil talks about going to Discover Dogs 2019. At [1:38], he reveals that he has kept the corgi balloon given to him by the one and only missemma! And at [5:17], he shows a clip of a collection of golden retrievers somewhat creepily arranged in a circle. Apparently, the moment was also originally set to music? Phil thinks it looks like they were trying to summon some kind of dog overlord.
• [7:21] Phil is asked to share if he has any hints about upcoming projects. He says he might be doing something for Halloween, but only if the right email comes through.
• [9:17] We get to see Norman Cam for the first and only time this liveshow.
• [10:39] Phil introduces a new “Snail Cam Extreme.” Apparently, there are many snails in the tank, but the one in the clip is the biggest. At [12:52], he names this snail Shelby. While he’s choosing a name for the snail, this also happened (at [11:44])...wow:

  P: “Is it a girl or a boy?” I have no idea. Do you know, I haven’t learned how to sex snails in the--That sounds weird. That’s the thing. If you sex something, you check if it’s got a little snail penis. Erm. I don’t even know if they’ve got penises.

• [12:09] Phil states that his grandmother’s name was Barbara.
• [13:39] Phil is asked if he still plays Fortnite, and he says he’s moved on to Apex Legends. Sometimes he plays with Dan or other friends from up north. Phil says he only plays the character Gibraltar in the game. He’s the gay character, so Phil identifies with him. Someone in the chat questions whether Gibraltar is gay, and Phil says that someone told him a story about Gibraltar “leaving his husband behind or something.” Here is the relevant part of Gibraltar’s official lore from the Apex Legends website:

  Gibraltar is a gentle giant with a wild side. The son of two SARAS (Search and Rescue Association of Solace) volunteers, he has always been skilled at getting others out of dangerous situations that are common in the Outlands. However, he only began to understand the value of protecting others when he and his boyfriend stole his father’s motorcycle, took it on a joyride, and got trapped by a deadly mudslide. His parents saved them, and his father lost an arm in the process. Gibraltar has never forgotten that sacrifice and has devoted his life to helping those in need.

• [15:21] Phil says that he saw his internet friend Cat Valdes (catrific) for the first time in a long time the other day, and they got some fancy sushi.
• [17:54] NEWS STORY OF THE WEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEK: Thieves stole the rucksack of a university lecturer while he was giving a lecture. As it turns out, the lecturer was a snake expert, and the rucksack was full of snakes. Phil says this is an example of karma at work.
• [28:00] Phil shares a dream he had the other night. He dreamt that he owned a seal, and half of the lounge was covered by a seal tank. Phil realized that the seal was getting too big to keep, so he decided that the seal needed to be put into the sea. He put the seal inside a tote bag and brought it to the sea. When he opened the tote bag, the seal didn’t want to go out. Phil started to feel really bad and started crying, but he threw it into the sea anyway. The seal tried to swim back, and Phil had a change of heart. He opened the tote bag for the seal to climb back in, but, just as it was about to reach the bag, it was carried out to sea for good. When Phil woke up, he was sad for a moment, but then he laughed because the dream was so ridiculous.
• [31:20] Phil does an autumn (Yankee) candle haul with ratings. He shows the candles Ciderhouse (5/5 stars), Golden Chestnut (3.5/5 stars), Sweet Maple Chai (5/5 stars, though he hasn’t yet burned it), and Haunted Hollow (4/5 stars).
• [35:44] Phil says, “lesbian rights.” He’s confused as to why people are so excited that he said that, but he’s amused when someone in the chat tells him that he’s the king of the lesbians.
• [36:21] Phil reviews “Lights Up” by Harry Styles. He says he liked it, and he comments that it’s a very sexual music video. He says there’s lots of sweaty grinding at what appears to be an island party, and he quickly states that he’s never been to “one of those.”
• [40:03] Phil tells his story about karma. At his apartment, there was a lady who was scared to ride the elevator. She was on crutches, so she couldn’t take the stairs. When she pressed the button, weird symbols had appeared, and the door wouldn’t open. At that moment, Dan texted Phil saying that there had been a power cut, so Phil figured that that was the reason for the issues. The lady wanted Phil to test the elevator for her, so she wouldn’t be afraid. Reluctantly, Phil agreed. In the end, the lady ended up coming on the elevator with him, and she safely got to her floor. Because of karma, Phil now believes that all elevator doors should always open for him when he presses the button.
• [41:32] For the gaming segment of this liveshow, Phil plays a Flash game called Grow, which he says he used to play in school. At [43:59], Phil says “The demon made a little...Did it poop something? It made a purple poop.” And at [44:35], Phil says, “He’s made another poop.” I guess poop is going to be a regular topic of discussion on Phil's liveshows now.
• [48:32] Phil says he thinks there’s going to be a new video from him “next week.” However, it's only in the idea stage at this point.

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I got bored and did timestamps.

:01 - Phil singing! Things I miss when I'm thirty seconds late loading the livestream.
:05 - Launching right into the dog show stories.
1:45 - He did come home with a dog! And it's the dog Emma gave him!
2:20 - He starts to talk about going to the dog show and gets distracted by a hair question. According to Phil, the camera lies about his hair color. Resumes story about how he was dropped off in the wrong spot and then he ended up walking someone's dog.
2:58 - Phil has no dense of sirection.
3:18 - Still strong with the dog stories. On to dog agility course.
4:04 - He put it on facebook and 'real life people that are my friends' were asking if he'd been practicing that. He was tempted to lie to them and say yes but truth prevailed. (Also I'm sure Dan would have sold him out.)
5:19 - Another video; golden retriever dog overlord summoning circle.
5:49 - His grandparents used to have "a lovely golden retriever" that growled at his brother but really liked him.
6:19 - No Norman Cam yet. Phil has to eke the clips out slightly.
6:30 - He doesn't normally drink tea but he's been drinking apple and cinnamon tea to soothe his sore throat. Also his mug has disappeared.
6:45 - He's been trying to set up lights in the apartment that connect to an app. It did not work. He's got possessed lights.
7:22 - He might be doing something around Halloween for a thing but he can't say. King of Vagueness.
8:15 - Throwback mention of when he went to the cat cafe. He remains unimpressed with that experience.
8:54 - The chat threatens rioting for Norman cam. It works.
10:36 - World First Frickin' Snail Cam
11:21 - He can't name all the snails but he's gonna name the chonky snail.
11:47 - Phil does not know how to sex snails. He has not checked to see if they have little snail penises. Shut up Phil.
12:03 - His mouth is not connected to his brain.
12:17 - Barbara was his grandma's name. Very old school name.
12:29 - You can't call a snail frog. It'll get confused and hop out of the tank and slither up his face while he sleeps.
12:43 - He wants a name that begins with s. He likes a good alliterative name.
12:55 - Chonky snail is named Shelby. It's perfect. It's got a shell. It's a snail.
13:33 - He makes the mistake of saying that it feels like a series of cams and he doesn't know what would be next. Cue the chat saying 'Dan cam' for the next 37 minutes straight.
13:41 - Phil has moved on from Fortnite; is obsessed with Apex Legends. Sometimes he plays with Dan or friends up north. He's bad but gets three or four kills per game, and also gives him heart palpitations.
14:17 - He mains Gibraltar exclusively. Gibraltar is the gay character. My conclusion drawn: Phil can't be bothered with any of that het shit in his video games.
15:17 - His tweet was preparing for the dog event, seeing Cat. Some musing on internet friends and the passage of time.
15:40 - They went for fancy sushi. Chopsticks update: he's still bad at them.
16:30 - Vagina sushi.
16:46 - Here's the dom!Phil of fanfic lore - he's getting firm with us. Giving us those orders. "Look. Try a vegetable sushi. Dip it in a little bit of soy sauce. Maybe a little bit of ginger. Put it in your mouth. And stop saying you hate it."
17:04 - He likes a spicy tuna roll, and the signature chef ones.
17:58 - New Story of the Weeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeek. Theme: karma. He's unprepared, but it's fine.
20:33 - Section where he reads viewer comments on karma.
24:57 - The green screen makes his hair look purple.
26:26 - Phil takes us on a literature analysis lesson by talking about whether or not the kids died in Charlie and the Chocolate Factory.
27:07 - He's gonna go watch charlieissocoollike and the Chocolate Factory and get back to us.
27:13 - He'd love to go back to Japan. He feels like he only touched the surface of Japan.
27:53 - He slept like a dog last night but couldn't sleep the night before because he was so excited about the dogs.
28:05 - He tells us about his seal dream and how he woke up sobbing about the seal. He was sad for a second then burst out laughing.
29:53 - Putting seals in tote bags while he's sleeping is keeping him busy.
30:15 - Cold remedy: lemon tea, a lot of sleep, watching GBBO.
30:46 - He'd like a corgi mixed with a shibe.
31:18 - He hasn't prepared for the spooky season, but he has autumn candles. Music is way too loud; post-production Phil promises the music gets quieter.
31:41 - Candle one: Ciderhouse. "Smells super apple-y and leafy. Like you've rubbed a leaf on an apple. Crisp apple-y day." Filled the room with a nice smell. He'd recommend it.
32:17 - Candle two: Golden Hazelnut. (Phil, it's not hazelnut.) Hazelnuts don't have smells. (Of course not. Because the candle is not hazelnut.)
32:30 - The music gets turned down.
33:11 - Phil realizes it is Golden Chestnut not Golden Hazelnut. He read it as hazelnut "like 47 times." Chestnuts do smell when roasted on an open fire. "Smells like sweet cake, like a pecan cake. But then it's got a musky undertone like an aftershave. It's quite a manly one. It smells like a manly aftershave mixed with a sweet cake." He'd call it chestnut musk. "Like a deep nutella." 3.5/5
34:16 - Candle three: Sweet Maple Chai. "Smells amazing. If you like the smell of coffee, you know like when you walk in and someone's brewed some coffee, it smells like that but it's got a sweet sugaryness to it as well. I really want to eat it." From sniff test, another 5/5.
34:42 - Candle four: Haunted Hollow. "It smells like smoke. It smells like smokiness and some herbiness. Like witch's sage or something." 4/5. He likes a good theme.
35:38 - Winner of the candle haul that is apparent a competition: Ciderhouse.
35:44 - Phil says "lesbian rights."
35:51 - Phil was terrible at GTA.
36:03 - Phil doesn't know why everyone is spamming him with lesbian rights but someone says he's the King of Lesbians and he seems quite pleased with that.
36:24 - Harry Styles opinions. Very sexual. Lots of sweaty grinding at an island party. He hasn't been to one of those. He doesn't know.
37:05 - Rights for everyone. Including Norman. Fish rights.
37:20 - He has not cosplayed before.
38:02 - RIP Goose Game. Epic servers were down.
39:00 - He dyed his hair about three weeks ago.
39:32 - Someone asks him what he's been doing today, he uses that question to transition into the gaming segment of the day.
40:05 - Phil tells us his karmic moment involving a lady, a power outage, and a lift.
41:33 - Phil plays Grow with viewer input.
46:49 - He'd be terrible at Minecraft. That'd be a mistake. (I agree.)
47:07 - He couldn't get close to the Shibe at the dog show because it had too big a fanbase.
47:50 - He starts wrapping it up and saying his goodbyes.

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• And at [5:17], he shows a clip of a collection of golden retrievers somewhat creepily arranged in a circle. Apparently, the moment was also originally set to music? Phil thinks it looks like they were trying to summon some kind of dog overlord.

As revealed by a later YouTube Story of Phil's (reproduced below) the music this moment was originally set to was Cher's cover of "Gimme! Gimme! Gimme! (A Man After Midnight)" by ABBA. Personally, I think this revelation makes this moment at least ten times more iconic.