2:07 “Half the things I post to the internet I end up deleting cause of typos, that’s just my life. It’s cause I type too fast. Do you guys have the same thing? Do you just- I think I type faster than I think, you know people say ‘don’t speak before you think about what you’re saying’ well I do that with typing except I tweet it to a billion people which is why my life is sad sometimes.”
2:53 Chat: ‘Playstation or Xbox?’ – Dan: “Probably get both which is the advantage of living with someone else who’s a nerd that likes video games. Although I’ll unplug the Kinect so that they don’t send all of the information to NSA, not that they don’t already have that. I mean, seriously, if they have access to my gmail they have all of my filth on a hard drive somewhere. Seriously, I just save things to iCloud and Apple are just like ‘hey FBI, have Dan’s weird things’ of course which there are weird things.”
3:22 A fan gave him the Skyrim shirt he’s wearing for his birthday last week
3:35 “Courtney just said she can’t hear me cause her brother’s speaking, then kill your brother. Just kill him. You have my permission. End his life. That is all you have to do. It’s literally that simple.”
3:58 Earlier, he realised that several of the windows in his browser hadn’t been closed for a while – “and then I realised that I was at the BBC and I had all these windows from about a month’s worth of browsing minimised and I was like ‘what’s there, what’s there, oh god no one look at my laptop’ and I had to leave the room with my laptop just to close windows for a few minutes which was fun. Always bury your internet skeletons.”
5.04 In his last video (ISG2) he meant to link people to an email address but instead it said ‘sample text’ and he didn’t notice it until after it had already begun uploading but he included it because it made him laugh – “but it doesn’t really translate. No one else knows that I was keeping it in deliberately cause it made me laugh so everyone else just thinks I’m stupid but hey, everyone thinks I’m stupid anyway.”
6:10 Spotify update. Most listened to artist – Atoms for Peace. He’s also been listening to Kanye and Disclosure.
7:27 He’s a hoarder of possessions (He ordered the physical copy of Yeezus which hasn’t been delivered yet)
7:39 In their latest radio show they played a game in which they had to draw animals on their arms. Phil used a whiteboard marker, it was fine. Dan used permanent marker and 2 showers later it still won’t come off. Chat: ‘Using hydrogen peroxide removes it.’ Dan – “Yeah, I’ll just MJ myself. That’ll go down well.” Other suggestions are alcohol wipes or nail polish remover – “Guys, I’m not gonna trust you and your strange feminine liquids that I don’t know how to control.”
9:35 He went to see Man of Steel earlier, it was good.
10:04 He spilt coffee down the side interior of couch the other day and to fix it he just stuffed kitchen towels into it
10:53 He’s going to France tomorrow “for something boring”
11:30 I think he gets a message of some kind. He pulls out his phone checks it, laughs and puts it down. Doesn’t mention it.
11:41 All British kids are forced to learn French, discussion about that/his French teacher
13:51 He discovered he likes sushi. He’s not a salmon guy. He ordered sushi for lunch but it didn’t fill him up so then he came home and ate a bag of Doritos
14:47 Chat: “Dan, you should make a song with Phil” – Dan: “What? That sounds like the worst idea. What? Hmm. No, that’s probably not going to happen. Probably. Might, prob- well no, it’s just not.”
15:02 “I wonder how many people that don’t really know who I am will think this is an actual tattoo I got of a shit octopus on my anorexic bicep.”
16:07 He asks people to type their age, location and whether they like sushi – “This sounds so creepy. I look like a god of paedophiles to the NSA who are watching this right now.”
17:14 Up until about a month ago sushi brought back bad memories of Japan day in school where he was forced to eat off sushi
18:34 Story about himself and Phil being in a lift with Psy at the BBC building. [Shows a picture he took of Psy in the lift] “with me and my friend”
21:14 It was his birthday last week – “I turned 22. Yayy, I’m dying. Or I’m not really cause I still think I’ve got another 6 years of puberty left. I still look like a 12 year old.”
21:34 Phil got him all of the Game of Thrones books for his birthday
21:46 “My main present from my family okay this is how much my parents- I dunno, it’s not that bad. My present that my parents got me, I was like ‘what’s it gonna be, what’s it gonna be’ this is exciting, they said that they all chipped together to get me something, it was a mirror. […] And I was like ‘thaaaaanks muuuum, just what I wanted.’ To be fair it’s pretty cool. I like it. It’s a funky mirror. Apparently it’s bronze, don’t even know what that means but hey. I don’t actually have a mirror in my room, that may surprise some of you, but I don’t have a mirror so that’s cool. Random. Thanks family for the square mirror, yeahhh. This may- I was like am I depressed now? When I turned 21 last year everyone got me alcohol cause I was like legal all around the world and this year I get mirror. Is this the official decline where it’s like Toy Story things, Action Man figurines, Star Wars posters, CD’s, tickets to a gig, video games, oop 22, you’re getting home furnishing. There we go. Nothing interesting for you ever again, next year it’s just gonna be a card and some John Lewis vouchers. So there we go, that’s what it’s like. I’m at that depressing moment where I suddenly I’m dying cause I’m not getting anything interesting for my birthday anymore just- next year it’ll be cushions or a doily or a kettle that lights up or something.”
23:25 Chat: ‘Do you believe in long distance relationships?’ – Dan: “Do I- Do I believe in them? Well, they’re real and you know if- I’m sure they can work out. It’ll be less convenient than normal relationships but I believe. I believe in them.”
24:04 His friend iced him a Game of Thrones themed cake
24:18 “During my days all I eat is salad and sushi in a bid to get healthy and in my evenings all I do is sad eat entire packets of Doritos, which is good. ‘I’m feeling slightly depressed so I’ll open a bag of super mix and eat them all right now or maybe a giant thing of Maltesers. That’s great, that’ll go really well with the salad that I sacrificed for my lunch and I felt really sad about because it sucked’ [ugggghhhhh] What I need is I need to hire someone to just block my mouth for me. ‘Don’t do it, Dan.’”
25:22 Someone tells him to sing ‘22’ so he searches up the lyrics to the song and tries to apply them to himself/his life – “I don’t really gather with my friends and dress like hipsters and make fun of exes, that’s a bit weird. I dunno, I get that it’s a catchy line but dressing up weirdly with friends and talking about exes feels like a very strange thing to do. […] ‘To fall in love with strangers’ what? Um, I guess that could happen. […] ‘Happy, free, confused and lonely at the same time’ yes, okay. ‘Miserable and magical’ not that magical. There is no magic in the real world. Magic doesn’t exist, so I guess it’s just miserable, which is good…” it goes on.
27:34 He had a bad sleep last night. He had a weird dream where he ends up having to assassinate Philip Seymour Hoffman. He was Lisbeth from TGwtDT.
29:55 Someone mentions they hate Taylor Swift – “Why? Why do you hate Taylor Swift? What a weird thing to say. Why do you hate Taylor Swift? Don’t hate people. Don’t hate celebrities for random reasons, just be cool. Just be chill. I don’t hate any- God, my mum just reminds me of other humans. I went to see her for like a birthday meal, I went with my family, and she’s- what did she say? She was talking about- it was either Kim Kardashian or Brad Pitt or somebody and she was just talking about some kind of celebrity gossip that was happening and I was just like ‘shut up! Why do you, why do you hate this random celebrity? You’ve never met this person. Why are you talking badly about them? You random person.’”
32:15 Guess the crime
37:55 Chat: ‘You look skinnier today ’ – Dan: “That should be a good thing getting- Are you a feeder? Cause good news it’s more likely that I’m gonna expand.”
39:59 “I want a kitten but with none of the responsibilities of having to care for another life.”
40:11 He won’t listen to leaked albums of artists he likes
41:03 Chat: ‘Where’s Phil?’ – Dan: “I don’t know. Doing Phil things in his Phil life. We’re not stapled to each other maybe you should ask him.”
42:47 “I pre-ordered the Last of Us and Animal Crossing like a week ago and I missed the post cause I was in bed. Phil was awake, that fricking slag. He could have gone but apparently he didn’t hear the buzzer go off or whatever.” So now he has to wait an extra week.
44:00 He gets Phil’s dream analysis book and analyses his dream. His murder dream means he’s really angry at someone, he says it’s CitySprint, the company that won’t deliver his game for another week.
48:01 He shows two of his birthday cards. One from his parents and one from ‘Aunty Christine.’ The card from his parents is a cartoon bunny reading ‘Watership Down’ and it has a speech bubble saying ‘fucking hell’ - “This is from my parents who are, by all means, quite cool parents with a good sense of humour. [Description] Pretty funny. Like it. Thanks mum and dad, good card. They know me, they get my sense of humour, they send me a funny card. Thanks, parents. You always have those relatives that don’t really know you cause you don’t see them that often and you can tell that they’ve gone to the nearest garage and just bought a card for like 1 pound.” It’s the ‘Well done, nice one’ card.’ “This is literally the worst card of all time… Thanks Aunty Christine. I appreciate the gesture.”
49:46 “I was joking guys. I appreciate the card, I’m just laughing at the choice of graphic design.”
49:52 “You’ll remember in my last liveshow at the end I flickered the lights in my bedroom on and off and showed how they ominously hum like some kind of electrical explosion is about to happen at any second and instantly kill me. You’ll be pleased to know that my flatmate Phil organised it for me to get an electrician because I have no responsibilities or thoughts or no anything about how to survive as an adult so it’s a good thing that Phil is there to do things like ordering electricians so I don’t die… so I may survive.”
50:51 Chat: ‘Do you reddit often? What subreddits do you follow?’ – Dan: “I currently subscribe to pics, funny, gaming, askreddit, worldnews, videos, today I learnt, wtf, technology, science, music, movies, best of, mildlyinteresting, games, woahdude, diy, abandonedporn, Guildwars2.” He goes on it every day.
52:28 Talking about how nail polish will remove the permanent marker on his arms - “Seriously, the one or two times I’ve tried to ironically paint my nails black so I can be like ‘I’m totes a goth today’ it just looks like crap.”
55:37 Chat: ‘Would you date a thirteen year old?’ – Dan: “That’s a weird question and I hope one day you’ll understand why.”
55:48 Pokemon rant
58:18 His second channel isn’t dead it’s just not active. Two conditions for his second channel: 1). There has to be something that ends up going on his second channel 2). He can be bothered to make it.
58:59 He’d prefer to make something creative than just vlog. He’d prefer to make something that has more impact and opinions.
59:24 “Would I bang Snape for 5 pounds? I’d give Snape 5 pounds.”
59:32 Chat: ‘Where’s your London video, Dan?’ – Dan: “Phil’s London video will be coming soon.”
59:42 Mentions Phil’s Krave challenge, questions whether he should do it
1:00:21 “I’ll man up, which is a bad phrase to say in 2013, I will be brave.”
2:53 Chat: ‘Playstation or Xbox?’ – Dan: “Probably get both which is the advantage of living with someone else who’s a nerd that likes video games. Although I’ll unplug the Kinect so that they don’t send all of the information to NSA, not that they don’t already have that. I mean, seriously, if they have access to my gmail they have all of my filth on a hard drive somewhere. Seriously, I just save things to iCloud and Apple are just like ‘hey FBI, have Dan’s weird things’ of course which there are weird things.”
3:22 A fan gave him the Skyrim shirt he’s wearing for his birthday last week
3:35 “Courtney just said she can’t hear me cause her brother’s speaking, then kill your brother. Just kill him. You have my permission. End his life. That is all you have to do. It’s literally that simple.”
3:58 Earlier, he realised that several of the windows in his browser hadn’t been closed for a while – “and then I realised that I was at the BBC and I had all these windows from about a month’s worth of browsing minimised and I was like ‘what’s there, what’s there, oh god no one look at my laptop’ and I had to leave the room with my laptop just to close windows for a few minutes which was fun. Always bury your internet skeletons.”
5.04 In his last video (ISG2) he meant to link people to an email address but instead it said ‘sample text’ and he didn’t notice it until after it had already begun uploading but he included it because it made him laugh – “but it doesn’t really translate. No one else knows that I was keeping it in deliberately cause it made me laugh so everyone else just thinks I’m stupid but hey, everyone thinks I’m stupid anyway.”
6:10 Spotify update. Most listened to artist – Atoms for Peace. He’s also been listening to Kanye and Disclosure.
7:27 He’s a hoarder of possessions (He ordered the physical copy of Yeezus which hasn’t been delivered yet)
7:39 In their latest radio show they played a game in which they had to draw animals on their arms. Phil used a whiteboard marker, it was fine. Dan used permanent marker and 2 showers later it still won’t come off. Chat: ‘Using hydrogen peroxide removes it.’ Dan – “Yeah, I’ll just MJ myself. That’ll go down well.” Other suggestions are alcohol wipes or nail polish remover – “Guys, I’m not gonna trust you and your strange feminine liquids that I don’t know how to control.”
9:35 He went to see Man of Steel earlier, it was good.
10:04 He spilt coffee down the side interior of couch the other day and to fix it he just stuffed kitchen towels into it
10:53 He’s going to France tomorrow “for something boring”
11:30 I think he gets a message of some kind. He pulls out his phone checks it, laughs and puts it down. Doesn’t mention it.
11:41 All British kids are forced to learn French, discussion about that/his French teacher
13:51 He discovered he likes sushi. He’s not a salmon guy. He ordered sushi for lunch but it didn’t fill him up so then he came home and ate a bag of Doritos
14:47 Chat: “Dan, you should make a song with Phil” – Dan: “What? That sounds like the worst idea. What? Hmm. No, that’s probably not going to happen. Probably. Might, prob- well no, it’s just not.”
15:02 “I wonder how many people that don’t really know who I am will think this is an actual tattoo I got of a shit octopus on my anorexic bicep.”
16:07 He asks people to type their age, location and whether they like sushi – “This sounds so creepy. I look like a god of paedophiles to the NSA who are watching this right now.”
17:14 Up until about a month ago sushi brought back bad memories of Japan day in school where he was forced to eat off sushi
18:34 Story about himself and Phil being in a lift with Psy at the BBC building. [Shows a picture he took of Psy in the lift] “with me and my friend”
21:14 It was his birthday last week – “I turned 22. Yayy, I’m dying. Or I’m not really cause I still think I’ve got another 6 years of puberty left. I still look like a 12 year old.”
21:34 Phil got him all of the Game of Thrones books for his birthday
21:46 “My main present from my family okay this is how much my parents- I dunno, it’s not that bad. My present that my parents got me, I was like ‘what’s it gonna be, what’s it gonna be’ this is exciting, they said that they all chipped together to get me something, it was a mirror. […] And I was like ‘thaaaaanks muuuum, just what I wanted.’ To be fair it’s pretty cool. I like it. It’s a funky mirror. Apparently it’s bronze, don’t even know what that means but hey. I don’t actually have a mirror in my room, that may surprise some of you, but I don’t have a mirror so that’s cool. Random. Thanks family for the square mirror, yeahhh. This may- I was like am I depressed now? When I turned 21 last year everyone got me alcohol cause I was like legal all around the world and this year I get mirror. Is this the official decline where it’s like Toy Story things, Action Man figurines, Star Wars posters, CD’s, tickets to a gig, video games, oop 22, you’re getting home furnishing. There we go. Nothing interesting for you ever again, next year it’s just gonna be a card and some John Lewis vouchers. So there we go, that’s what it’s like. I’m at that depressing moment where I suddenly I’m dying cause I’m not getting anything interesting for my birthday anymore just- next year it’ll be cushions or a doily or a kettle that lights up or something.”
23:25 Chat: ‘Do you believe in long distance relationships?’ – Dan: “Do I- Do I believe in them? Well, they’re real and you know if- I’m sure they can work out. It’ll be less convenient than normal relationships but I believe. I believe in them.”
24:04 His friend iced him a Game of Thrones themed cake
24:18 “During my days all I eat is salad and sushi in a bid to get healthy and in my evenings all I do is sad eat entire packets of Doritos, which is good. ‘I’m feeling slightly depressed so I’ll open a bag of super mix and eat them all right now or maybe a giant thing of Maltesers. That’s great, that’ll go really well with the salad that I sacrificed for my lunch and I felt really sad about because it sucked’ [ugggghhhhh] What I need is I need to hire someone to just block my mouth for me. ‘Don’t do it, Dan.’”
25:22 Someone tells him to sing ‘22’ so he searches up the lyrics to the song and tries to apply them to himself/his life – “I don’t really gather with my friends and dress like hipsters and make fun of exes, that’s a bit weird. I dunno, I get that it’s a catchy line but dressing up weirdly with friends and talking about exes feels like a very strange thing to do. […] ‘To fall in love with strangers’ what? Um, I guess that could happen. […] ‘Happy, free, confused and lonely at the same time’ yes, okay. ‘Miserable and magical’ not that magical. There is no magic in the real world. Magic doesn’t exist, so I guess it’s just miserable, which is good…” it goes on.
27:34 He had a bad sleep last night. He had a weird dream where he ends up having to assassinate Philip Seymour Hoffman. He was Lisbeth from TGwtDT.
29:55 Someone mentions they hate Taylor Swift – “Why? Why do you hate Taylor Swift? What a weird thing to say. Why do you hate Taylor Swift? Don’t hate people. Don’t hate celebrities for random reasons, just be cool. Just be chill. I don’t hate any- God, my mum just reminds me of other humans. I went to see her for like a birthday meal, I went with my family, and she’s- what did she say? She was talking about- it was either Kim Kardashian or Brad Pitt or somebody and she was just talking about some kind of celebrity gossip that was happening and I was just like ‘shut up! Why do you, why do you hate this random celebrity? You’ve never met this person. Why are you talking badly about them? You random person.’”
32:15 Guess the crime
37:55 Chat: ‘You look skinnier today ’ – Dan: “That should be a good thing getting- Are you a feeder? Cause good news it’s more likely that I’m gonna expand.”
39:59 “I want a kitten but with none of the responsibilities of having to care for another life.”
40:11 He won’t listen to leaked albums of artists he likes
41:03 Chat: ‘Where’s Phil?’ – Dan: “I don’t know. Doing Phil things in his Phil life. We’re not stapled to each other maybe you should ask him.”
42:47 “I pre-ordered the Last of Us and Animal Crossing like a week ago and I missed the post cause I was in bed. Phil was awake, that fricking slag. He could have gone but apparently he didn’t hear the buzzer go off or whatever.” So now he has to wait an extra week.
44:00 He gets Phil’s dream analysis book and analyses his dream. His murder dream means he’s really angry at someone, he says it’s CitySprint, the company that won’t deliver his game for another week.
48:01 He shows two of his birthday cards. One from his parents and one from ‘Aunty Christine.’ The card from his parents is a cartoon bunny reading ‘Watership Down’ and it has a speech bubble saying ‘fucking hell’ - “This is from my parents who are, by all means, quite cool parents with a good sense of humour. [Description] Pretty funny. Like it. Thanks mum and dad, good card. They know me, they get my sense of humour, they send me a funny card. Thanks, parents. You always have those relatives that don’t really know you cause you don’t see them that often and you can tell that they’ve gone to the nearest garage and just bought a card for like 1 pound.” It’s the ‘Well done, nice one’ card.’ “This is literally the worst card of all time… Thanks Aunty Christine. I appreciate the gesture.”
49:46 “I was joking guys. I appreciate the card, I’m just laughing at the choice of graphic design.”
49:52 “You’ll remember in my last liveshow at the end I flickered the lights in my bedroom on and off and showed how they ominously hum like some kind of electrical explosion is about to happen at any second and instantly kill me. You’ll be pleased to know that my flatmate Phil organised it for me to get an electrician because I have no responsibilities or thoughts or no anything about how to survive as an adult so it’s a good thing that Phil is there to do things like ordering electricians so I don’t die… so I may survive.”
50:51 Chat: ‘Do you reddit often? What subreddits do you follow?’ – Dan: “I currently subscribe to pics, funny, gaming, askreddit, worldnews, videos, today I learnt, wtf, technology, science, music, movies, best of, mildlyinteresting, games, woahdude, diy, abandonedporn, Guildwars2.” He goes on it every day.
52:28 Talking about how nail polish will remove the permanent marker on his arms - “Seriously, the one or two times I’ve tried to ironically paint my nails black so I can be like ‘I’m totes a goth today’ it just looks like crap.”
55:37 Chat: ‘Would you date a thirteen year old?’ – Dan: “That’s a weird question and I hope one day you’ll understand why.”
55:48 Pokemon rant
58:18 His second channel isn’t dead it’s just not active. Two conditions for his second channel: 1). There has to be something that ends up going on his second channel 2). He can be bothered to make it.
58:59 He’d prefer to make something creative than just vlog. He’d prefer to make something that has more impact and opinions.
59:24 “Would I bang Snape for 5 pounds? I’d give Snape 5 pounds.”
59:32 Chat: ‘Where’s your London video, Dan?’ – Dan: “Phil’s London video will be coming soon.”
59:42 Mentions Phil’s Krave challenge, questions whether he should do it
1:00:21 “I’ll man up, which is a bad phrase to say in 2013, I will be brave.”