Forever Scrolling: DEALING WITH TROLLS & BULLIES with Daniel Howell (16 October 2020)

[lefthandedism]

[alittledizzy]

Intro
There are tools, Please use them. If there’s someone that’s bullying you, someone that’s harassing you - mute them. They’ll never know. Don’t block them - because then they’ll know that they’ve bothered you. Just mute them and they’ll think they’re having a conversation and you’ll never know they exist. It’s kinda sexy, isn’t it?

How do you deal with bullies and trolls?
:55 - It’s safe to say that as someone who’s spent their entire life on the internet, I’ve seen some stuff. You just need to remind yourself that you’re valid, you’re fine, you’re doing nothing wrong bothering these people by simply existing, and the best thing to do is just to mute them and let them stream into the void as you go about your day. You feel powerful.

2:26 - I think naturally people get defensive when you imply that anything they’ve done or said might be wrong. So sometimes - it depends on the person - it can be better to message them privately and just go, hey, I don’t know if you mean to say this, but this can be really hurtful because this. And someone might feel less embarrassed or called out publicly. Then again, depending on what someone does, they might just need a smackdown in the middle of a facebook chain with your grandma. So take it upon yourself - I believe in you. Do the right thing.

How do you react to LGBTQ-phobic family members?
2:51 - If you feel comfortable - you don’t have to put up with this. Remind yourself of that. You’re doing nothing wrong. It’s not your responsibility. But if you see that someone can be reached - sometimes just talking to them, empathizing with them, letting them know what the truth really is and talking to them patiently, you can redeem somebody. I have old people in my family that they said something at the dinner table and I’ve gone - that’s a yikes, grandad, but let me explain why. Five minutes later, it’s all cool. So take it upon yourself to redeem your problematic family. I believe in you.

How do you react to members of the LGBTQ community who make prejudiced comments?
4:09 - Here’s something that’ll blow your mind: just because someone’s lgbtq, doesn’t mean they can’t be a piece of shit in a load of other ways.

5:16 - We all have struggles, as lgbtq people. So if someone says something that is in some way harmful just say to them - come on. Like, do one step with your brain. How would you feel if someone said this to you about this thing that you relate to? Talk to them as a human. Get them to understand, and then hopefully they can change the way that they act and become a better person.

7:17 - Even a few years ago on the internet, a lot of people had a lot of fun - even within the lgbtq community - speculating about, you know, celebrity’s relationships and their sexualities. As someone that was in the closet, I found that really hard because I thought that there were these people that kinda had good intentions but then they were really affecting my mental health with the speculation and I’ve seen people in real life that they watched my forty-five minute long coming out video (sorry about that) and they said to me, you know, I didn’t realize at the time what this could do to people and how it can be harmful. You know, I thought I was an ally, I thought I was a good person doing the right thing, so I just want to say sorry that I did that. This wasn’t something that I was expecting. I wasn’t telling myself that I deserve that. But to hear people say that to me really felt like - is the world becoming a better place? Should we be hopeful for the future? It’s a nice story.