MOUNTING SOME MEN - Dan vs. Phil! (1 May 2018)

[lefthandedism]

[lefthandedism]

:02 - The video starts off by Dan pretending to climb Phil.
:05 - "Today we're gonna be stripping down to our underwear and climbing on each other while balancing on a goat."
:45 - They take a zen goat moment.
:52 - "This game of mounting men... touching each other in a lovely sporting way." I mean, you didn't need to glance at Phil's dick when you said that, Dan. But then you did anyway. You did it anyway.
1:08 - Dan says, "Sausage sock."
1:23 - Dan starts thrusting and talking about things swinging in the breeze.
1:33 - "Okay, strange man." Dan, you really can't talk right now.
1:14 - "And his thing is... defying gravity there."
1:55 - Phil says the word hard, and you can see his mental thought process about saying the word hard while talking about dicks.
2:16 - Dan tells Phil he doesn't need to look like that to be valid. P: "I already look like that. In every place."
2:48 - It's not like this game is lacking in innuendos, but Phil still makes a bulge joke during one of the few frames of the video that doesn't involve penises.
3:13 - Dan says an expression looks like the guy has been kicked in his "equality bandage" and I think there's a joke there I don't get.
3:30 - Phil starts his pornographic Avatar fan film character design.
3:52 - Phil doing a cute hand over the mouth laugh at the field of swinging dicks.
4:01 - Phil tells Dan to keep his eyes off the dicks.
4:05 - Phil can't keep his eyes off dat ass.
4:24 - Phil shows compassion for the poor goat about to be mounted by many men.
4:35 - There's some talk about goat asses and I'm done with this sentence now.
4:57 - Dan questioning where Phil just put his hand.
5:45 - Dan says they're shiskabobing the goat then spends multiple seconds thinking of a way to say they're both fucking the goat. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯
5:55 - Dan reminds Phil that they're actually competing.
6:11 - Dan gives Phil advice on how to beat him.
6:29 - Dan calls Phil out for cheering him on.
6:34 - Dan is pole dancing on Phil's crotch.
6:50 - Phil says penis in the context of saying how he won't say penis.
6:58 -

P: I can't listen to you and climb these men at the same time.
D: Can't you?
P: No.
D: Okay well that's a good thing to know about life going forward, you can't mount men and talk at the same time.
P: No, I can't.
D: Guys aren't good at multitasking.

7:22 - Phil is wrapped around Dan's crack.
7:32 - Dan is here to take names and grab asses. Phil comments on how "incredibly erect" the pile is.
7:42 - Whole discussion about 'man mounting' as an Olympic sport and also an anime.
8:30 - Phil with the flaily hands of cuteness.
9:11 - Dan explains about reserve time is to Phil.
9:33 - Dan and Phil duet about g-strings in mouths and climbing men.
10:25 - Phil with the slappy hands of joy.
11:02 - "Not like this! Not with my face rubbing against the fucking cock no!"
11:10 - Phil: "Yes! I am better at climbing muscular men than you!"
11:30 - Dan has the board mount Phil. I love flirtiness. (No, I hate it, they're just the exception.)
11:58 - Phil: "I would like to do more mounting my friends."
12:09 - tour spon tour spon tour spon. (They do not get into two pieces of fabric and climb each other. "Sorry if that disappoints you.")