Cards Against Humanity PHAN EDITION! - 21 February 2021

[lefthandedism]

[lefthandedism]

Ok banter buds strap yourselves in for some lengthy timestamps!

0:08- 'Dan and Phil, in 2021? What is happening!?' accurate representation of me by Dan
0:11- Still haven't moved, thought they would've by now
0:24- 'We're here, we're queer... and the rest of it.' Is this the first time Phil has included himself in phrasing with 'queer'? I was just thinking the other day about how I couldn't recall him using it in reference to himself and made me wonder what his comfort level is with the word, nice to hear it from him.
0:37- Phil, pointing at Dan('s hair)and staring directly into the camera: 'I frickin did that!' Context whoms't??
0:43- Mutual hair cuts turned out not a disaster! Phil thinks he did a better job.
1:17- mushroom hair picture, Phil took to show Dan and could hear the fear in Dan's voice
1:48- 'I think as a lifestyle choice we were already locked down with each other, so I feel like it's quite a commitment for us to now go into a house purchase.' Not sure if he's talking about the risk/stress of buying a house right now, or that he and Phil never spent time apart before lockdown anyway or what. But thanks for this Dan
1:59- 'And you know how Dan feels about commitments, I'd rather ghost' Dan just wants to remind us how his commitments with Phil are the only commitment he'll ever do.
2:01- Cheeky look at a new green dining-type chair? looks like Phil is sat on them as well. I wonder if these are the chairs they've chosen for the new house.
2:16- Dan has made pineapple liquor and coke drinks and put them in wine glasses. Dan would rather have something else but he made a sweet drink for Phil.
2:33- 'This is for you, sugar freak' idk something about this just completely broke me it feels so endearing somehow
2:53- More joint Stereo liveshows! Tuesdays and Thursdays 9PM London time. They don't know what/when they'll be able to do stuff, content, moving, etc. so liveshows it is!
3:28- 'Lil intimate Dan and Phil podcast vibe' honestly what have we done to deserve this
3:38- Giveaway of dnp related stuff that they want to yeet. Some people had mentioned auctioning them for charity or something, but I think a giveaway is a good way to do it! Especially for all the stuff like the misprint dnpg pajamas that are super fandom specific and not super fit for a charity shop but would also be horrible to just throw away.
4:41- Dan on the hulk and iron man pictures: 'I've outgrown that, stylistically' It's really interesting I was watching their first younow from the filming flat in 2017 earlier today and they talk a lot about how people (not them, but their audience) feels emotionally attached to things about the dnp apartment, and how they're bringing all the stuff with them so don't worry. I have a lot of thoughts about them doing that and growing in their own style with the living flat, idk.
5:02- Dan has a moment deciding he actually maybe likes the vibrating sloth
5:58- Intro to the game: CAH; Phan edition, given to them during tatinof
6:22- 'You know what I feel like after all of these years, here we are, Dan and Phil, on YouTube together again, why not acknowledge the,, creativity of our audience and their unique way of celebrating,, their enjoyment of us.' I don't have any specific succinct thoughts, but I thought this was interesting.
7:06- Dan is ready to destroy his budding serious mental health author career before it even technically starts by playing this game.
7:21- 'Eins, zwei, drei, fünf, vier, acht, sie-' as a german speaker I am lmaoing
7:39- 'Have you got 5 or 6, b..uddy?' I feel like Phil was going to say something else (bitch?) but switched to buddy
7:43- 'The coke is hitting' 'Don't say that' this is the state of the amazingphil channel in 2021
7:47- First card: 'It's the end of the world; to sustain existence of the human race you mate with...'
8:06- Phil's card is 'Pikachu's gaping a**hole' which he won't read aloud, so Dan does instead
8:21- Dan's card is 'Phil's awkward hand' que awkward hand discussion
8:38- 'Stick your appendage in that claw; save the world' Thanks for the most horrifying description of a handjob ever, Dan
8:44- Phil's other card is 'A hamster in a hat' Phil thinks of fursuits, Dan reminds him that this is a very specific cursed fic reference
8:47- Dan says 'I just know exactly what fucking fanfiction people were thinking about there' and there's a bark censor but it completely misses the entire swear lmao. I wonder if it was on purpose or not
9:08- Second card: 'The last thing you'd want to find in your bed is...'
9:15- Phil's card: 'Phil', because waking up next to a clone of yourself would be disturbing, I'd have to agree
9:23- ofc talking about clones Dan is immediately on to the important question of clone sex. His answer (yes) is the same as the dnpg video where he talks about it. Phil gives it a good think, in the end his answer is yes too.
9:41- Interesting small note, Dan uses they/them when talking about his clone self and Phil mirrors the use. idk why (if any reason at all) this is but I tend to be hypersensitive abt uses of they/them (shout out to being enby) and noticed it.
10:19- Dan on Phil clone sex: 'you'd smash your awkward hands into each other and get pregnant' literally what kids in elementary school will tell you
10:26- Dan's card: 'A llama' oh, the branding
10:34- Third card: 'The next Dan vs Phil will include ___ and ___.'
10:42- Dan says the phrase 'Dan vs Phil season 2' you are NOT allowed to play with my heart like that danny
10:43- Dan's cards: 'Eating an orange behind a live performance by One Direction' and 'Minion yaoi'
10:52- Pic of Dan behind one direction, reminiscing on buried cringe attacks resurfacing
11:23- Phil's cards: 'Violently Crafting' and 'Hentai'
11:38- Phil's brain goes to making hentai dioramas as a dvp?? and he says the phrase 'We're gonna go hard on that play-doh' most horrible sentence uttered by man
11:57- Phil wonders if he can say hentai on AP, Dan sings the line from Feeling Good which always makes me emo because even though it's a cover, they reference it occasionally and sing the muse version
12:10- Fourth card: 'It's time for Netflix and...'
12:24- Dan's brand-appropriate card: 'Dying alone.' starts conversation about dying alone vs the memories of your loved ones, guess which side Phil is on
12:42- Phil's card: 'Thrusting your hips in front of a camera for the purposes of entertainment' RIP sexy endscreen dance. She is not missed.
12:58- Fifth card: 'Dan one day wins the dance mat championship and celebrates by...'
13:05- Phil talks about how 'when he first met Dan' he used to watch lots of DDR videos, Dan was a competitive DDR person
13:28- Phil's card: 'Questioning your entire existence' which is 'such a Dan one'
12:41- Dan's card: 'I would like to celebrate with: 'Phil lapdancing to Toxic'... purely for the spectacle' what kind of spectacle dan also I'm sure if you got Phil drunk enough he would probably do that for Dan anyway
13:58- 'You know, out of a lot of dancing I think I'd be quite good at lap dancing' ~Phil Lester, 2021. This is a great glow up from 'I'm just gonna put my ass in the air and hope for the best' ~Phil Lester, 2018
14:06- Phil explains his rationale behind this thought including moves he could do including 'a hip thrust' and 'rubbing my butt on things'. Dan finds this offensive to real strippers.
14:18- Phil mentions a party he went to at uni where there was a gay stripper and tells an anecdote with no punchline. Really could've referenced the 'I am looking... respectfully' and saved it imo.
15:03- Sixth card: 'Buzzfeed (f*cking) copies Phil (who hasn't right?)by making a video about...' Dan back on his making sure people appreciate Phil train
15:16- Dan's card: 'A sexually ambiguous nerd' which is still true
15:22- Phil's card: 'A full time internet homo' makes them both laugh
15:28- 'And this was produced 5 years ago!' Idk what Dan's point was with his tone here, whether it was like a 'and y'all been knew lol' or more of a 'and ppl were calling me homo when I wasn't ready' type of comment
15:32- Seventh card: '___ will be the new internet craze' with very northern pronunciation of craze from Phil
15:39- Phil's card: 'Drinking cheesy sparkling water' Dan can see combining cheese spray and a sodastream being a tiktoc trend and tbh I can too
16:03- Dan's card: 'Phil's meaty legs' which according to Dan, Phil needs to celebrate as well as 'back it up like a dump truck'. Dan, pls contain yourself *plays pinof 9 ditty meme*
16:23- Dan brings up Phil's 'OnlyPhans' tweet and requests an apology for having to see it
16:37- Dan: 'It's my job to be inappropriate and chaotic, Phil. You're gonna throw the world into unbalencedness!' Phil: 'We're in the dark timeline' imo we're in the good timeline, moving into a bright new era of unhinged Phil and I'm here for it
16:58- Phil's list of needs for OnlyPhans studio: pillow, backdrops, santa hat. Looking forward to sexy santa calendar by Phil 2022
17:05- Dan has a mental breakdown caused by this, many existential questions including 'Is this undermining what we're working towards?'
17:21- Dan's going to want to make more content to replace this video quicker, Phil's master plan. Phil says quietly and quickly 'I'll get him back on the channel', I'm gonna hold you to that, buddy!
17:32- After this video experience Dan would like to back out of the house
17:40- House spoilers: Dan wanted a bonsai for the area under the stairs but they wouldn't be able to look after it so he put something else (fake plants?) together instead
17:55- Dan trouser check- he's wearing the sweatpants that go with the top that he was wearing at Christmas. Also posted abt them on insta stories after the vid. Remember Phil in the Phil dress? I want Phil in that dress but with the black and white pattern of those sweatpants.
17:56- Dan shows of the diorama with some very comfortable feeling over-the-shoulder reaching. Feels good. Feels right.
18:01- 'We crafted our whole goddamn place and it's tasteful' These boys really have put a lot into this and are proud of it.
18:06- Phil tries to make a hEAR pun, but Dan doesn't notice and it flops
18:10- Wrap up, reminder of Stereo info
18:39- Phil: 'Are you just chewing ice while you look at me, what is happening?'
Calling Dan out for vibing and staring at Phil
18:52- 'I'm sure you'll see Dan again at some point in the future, somewhere else...' Very intriguing

Phew that was a lot, I would love seeing y'all's comments, thoughts, other timestamps!! Also, it wasn't specifically mentioned, do we think liveshows start this Tuesday? I'm not ready.