Phil and Phriends: AFTERPARTY (with Dan!)- Full Stereo Liveshow (Audio Only) - 4 January 2021

[lefthandedism]

[lefthandedism]

Timestamps from yesterday's liveshow!

:15 - Starting with unhinged giggles. They're in separate rooms.
:29 - Dan calls Phil out for calling him in situations where he needs to pretend to be on the phone to someone else or if they're out of milk or something.
1:00 - Phil says they've 'never done that ever' about having a three hour long phone chat (2009 is calling you a liar, bub) (though he does say they text) and Dan's response is 'maybe we should start' which is the first of my unexpected minor heart attacks during this re-listen.
1:35 - They're having this afterparty to celebrate the Stereo shows and also to play all the games they didn't fit into the previous one.
1:53 - The first game is 'Good Advice, Bad Advice.'
2:12 - The first audio message thanks them for 'all the content.' Dan's responds with, "You're thanking me for forty minutes of content? That is how badly I've treated this, you know, audience. Jesus." while Phil gets a bit defensive of Dan and talks about all the content Dan is 'squirreling away.' That makes me wonder how many times Dan has had guilt spirals and Phil has reminded him that he is working on things?
3:22 - Another audio message thanking them. Phil starts talking about the previous video, calling it a mukbang without the food. Dan does some mouth sounds ASMR. They also wish people happy knew year, wrongly, in other languages.
4:40 - They talk about New Year and also politics. They wish they had a competent leader. Phil wants to move to New Zealand.
5:05 - "We love an indoor firework at the Dan and Phil house." Indoor fireworks are not safe to use indoors.
5:21 - "Did they lie? Did they lie?" and both of them crack up, leaving me confused. Their level of one-brain-cell clearly magnified during lockdown. Dan explains that it's a meme that Phil just discovered.
5:52 - "You are a Boomer, Phil."
6:30 - Dan baits Phil into acknowledging that Dan is more important/Phil loves Dan more than the other people that were on Phil and Phriends.
7:08 - First advice question is someone asking if they should dye their hair or not because they work retail. Phil makes Dan give bad advice.
9:05 - Second advice question is about keeping motivated to make videos.
9:52 - Audio blips out, clearly on their end since when it comes back Phil is trying to make Dan repeat his answer. Dan does so, unenthusiastically.
11:15 - Third advice question is about working out more when they don't want to work out. Dan's bad advice is to care about pounds and what people think about you which he shouts is the WORST advice.
12:12 -

Phil: Do it with a friend, as well.
Dan: Do it with a friend. That's good workout advice.

12:55 - Last advice question: person doesn't know if they should order pizza or not. This ends with Dan and Phil deciding to order pizza, because they didn't eat before the liveshow.
13:44 - This starts the weird portion where Phil explains that you can test sweet and sour flavors with parts of your body besides your tongue - including foot and testicles. Dan abruptly moves on and continues to give advice.
15:22 - Phil sets up the next game (Bucket of Doom) but first he has something he wants to say.
15:50 - Phil reprimandingly saying, "Dan." just bc it's cute. Dan is particularly unhinged.
16:03 - Phil gets to what he wanted to talk about: blonde Dan. Phil thinks Dan looks good with blonde hair and he wants to talk about it. Dan argues that it wasn't a hot photo of himself because he was in his pajamas and Phil argues that it's the best way to test something like that.
17:36 - Phil gives Dan a Bucket of Doom scenario about falling into the biggest bucket of bees in the world, and the Queen wants to make Dan her king bee.
19:14 - Dan gives Phil a scenario that involves him being naked and also the dark academia outfit that Dan liked so much. The only relevant response they get is that someone says dildo.
20:00 - Shoutout to the 'dil-doll' reference from tour. Dan thinks this is their private phone call.
20:25 - Phil leaves the dildo on the changing room floor, stating that he 'doesn't need it.' Dan's response: "Whoa." I also had to listen to this part a million times but.... it was worth it.

Phil: I don't need [the dildo]. Especially when it comes into...
Dan: Whoa.
Phil: -when it's joined up with an otter.
Dan: Who's coming into what?

21:25 - Next scenario: Dan is in a wrestling ring and has to fight the world champion Dr. Pain. This involves a lot of Dan's nipples.
23:11 - Phil's next one for Dan involves him being on tour in TATINOF. Florida, 2016, he's about to fall off the stage (which really happened) and someone throws him two items. One of those is Dan. Phil removes Dan from the scenario and Dan is offended. Phil fails. Dan wins the game (and apologizes for it being filthy.
25:26 - Next game: Would You Rather.
25:54 - Dan's first one for Phil.
D:Would you rather have your tragic 2007 hair for a decade, or the NordVPN logo tattooed on your head for a year?
P: The hair- Dan- the hair! I mean. It's a great VPN. The hair- the hair is too- I can't have that hair for another ten years. I can't do it.
27:08 - First would you rather from a listener: become Mario or become Link? Dan chooses Link because Mario eternally does not have the girlfriend, he's simping for Peach and she's not that into it. Mario is lonely - you've got your bro but the mushroom Kingdom is horrifying. Whereas Link is more stressful but Zelda is cooler than Peach, Peach terrifies Dan. Link also gets to explore and mess around.
28:42 - Next listener WYR goes dark: Would you rather have to pull out your own tongue or carve out your own eyeball? Phil likes talking and has two eyes so he'd go with an eye. Dan points out that Phil implied you can taste with your testicles earlier, which sends them on a tangent about whether or not ASAPScience did the video or if he dreamt it. (Dan would keep his eyes.)
29:39 - Dan: Do Greg and Mitch have an OnlyFans?
29:58 - Phil asks Dan if he'd rather get a full back tattoo of all of the reindeer, or scream when he hears the word Christmas. Dan points out he already screams but says he'd get the tattoo. Devolves into pronunciation of the word tattoo and also if Dan would ever get a tattoo (no).
31:08 - WYR whisk Tyler Oakley or watch porn with Donald Trump. Dan picks Tyler; Phil has clearly forgotten the reference.
32:03 - WYR die young and be remembered forever, or live a long fulfilling life but he forgotten in the sands of time. They both cackle at the phrasing, but Dan says not to glorify dying young in a blaze of glory or caring what people think. "Don't give a shit, man. Don't give a damn. Nobody cares." and so on and so forth in a Dan like way.
32:49 - Phil says you need to be fulfilled and that's what is important. Dan goes very quiet and Phil waits for him to talk. Dan laughs and says he was, "Letting you go off with your answer." then suggests they 'close the phone lines' which Phil says have been 'spicy today.'
33:40 - Final game: Phil in the Blanks. Dan argues that it isn't a game, it's just talking about stuff, but Phil doesn't stand for Dan insulting his game.
34:04 - Dan sings: "And the word is not allowed to be dildo." Brief pause where Phil is doing something and blames it on his phone going weird.
34:36 - Phil starts them off with the word "snow" and they talk about how it snowed the other day and London being filthy.
35:49 - They sing... something? together.
35:51 - Phil tells a story about him and his friend Steven-not-Ben in the snow when they were younger.
36:58 - Next topic: bathrooms. They talk about bath vs shower and enjoying baths.
38:16 - Next topic: Japan. They wax poetic about the Japhan trips. "Everything about our two Japan trips were amazing." They're scared to go back now because they had the best holiday, they don't want to ruin the sanctity of the memory. Dan had the same experience with the film Interstellar, he cried for ten minutes after it ended. Phil argues that it wouldn't be the same because if they went back to Japan they'd go to different places.
39:58 - Next topic: Eurovision. They miss it.
41:19 - Phil talks about hosting Eurovision parties.
41:30 - Stamping for the iconic line: "We are gay, but we're not that gay."
41:47 - Next topic: Asparagus. Dan used to hate it, at some point he decided it was great and he loves it. Phil likes it but not the girthy ones. Dan says "thick stem" in a Voice.
42:27 - Dan: "Phil likes his guys to not be a dump truck in the back." Phil: "Stop it."
42:39 - Weekly pee mention from Phil. Dan hasn't experienced it, Phil tells him it's genetic.
43:04 - Next topic: recent paranormal events. Phil talks about the curtain pole.
44:10 - Phil tells Dan not to go 'all Scully' on him because they need to be two Mulders.
44:24 - Next topic: American vs British English. Dan says Americans have made english be more accurate for how it is spoken.
45:39 - Phil lets Dan pick the final topic: the meaning of life. Phil's answer: "The meaning of life... be happy. Make other people happy. Spread happiness."
47:20 - Dan liveshow-esque sign off. ("And now we're gonna order a pizzaaaaa, bye."