Dan & Phil Part 43: I'll touch you when I please

autumnhearth · Tue Apr 25, 2017 1:14 pm

Wonderful balanced insights all around. You all are amazing.

But of course it also is terribly depressing to think about and leaves me feeling like a horrible person. It makes me very sad to think that if they got married that they wouldn't say anything. Like I get it, I do, but to not feel comfortable sharing such an important moment in your life... (I'm not even talking videos or photos or anything) Sigh. I don't know. Somebody please give me some hope. (Or I can just escape to the world of fanfiction).

(The husband actually said something along these lines though it was full of negativity and judgement. I had mentioned that Singapore has a ban on homosexuality and that fans speculating and writing fics about them getting engaged there (like at a fancy restaurant) are sadly wrong. And he replied "I hope they are already married and will never tell all you [insert judgemental words for the Phandom]". Yeah, he's lovely.)

On a happier note: the husband is now caught up with the Sims. Sunday night we watched Who's Your Daddy, which he was familiar with from one of his podcasts or shows, and started The Impossible Quiz!!! I suggested spacing them out, which after watching the first two he agreed with (but that second one is my favorite both for cute supportive/proud moments and also getting insight into the way they think).

Then last night we watched the two Golf With Friends videos. I was worried he might not like them as much, but he was cracking up frequently and his eyes went really wide at some of the innuendo. It was a success. I think next will be the singing ones and he wants to watch the Spooky Week videos (because he enjoys watching other people freak out), which I was not inclined to do on my own, so win!

The discussion about Dan's confidence left me with many emotions, but I really have nothing to add. One last thing re: appropriate fan public fan interactions. I mentioned smiling and waving, but if they were close by I might say 'Thank you for everything you do, you guys are amazing' providing that words did not fail me. But let's be honest, they aren't going to be coming out my way anytime soon.

Looking forward to any content they choose to post this week. I would love to hear more about their trip.

Tue Apr 25, 2017 1:18 pm

I keep wanting to respond to things on here and every time my mind is finished processing what I've read and I've come to some kind of conclusion, I refresh and there's another amazing post offering perspective that I need to stop and process further.

I really, really agree with the points being made (particularly by fancybum) about their change not being for us, as in some kind of reward. I'm not sure I'd have ever been able to articulate feeling that way but it's one of those things that I read and just clicked in my mind, an explanation for an attitude I've always been lowkey irritated by.

A bit of a tangent: It's also very true that they can't care for their audience, individually. They could potentially care for their audience as a whole - because an audience does have a voice, especially the parts of an audience conglomerated into a fandom. It's just that the voice has to be unified enough to send a clear message and phandom is probably the least unified fandom I've ever seen, to be one primarily based around just two people... and when we do manage to gather together enough to send a message it's generally pretty selfish in it's intent. Mass voting so Dan and Phil win something so 'we' feel like we won, etc.

I also don't see any of this as negative, just realistic. Hearing someone say that Dan and Phil's choices are primarily meant to benefit and protect themselves is only negative if you are so invested in the ken doll mentality that your feelings are hurt to be told that their life is not actually about you and making you feel good. (Or maybe it just doesn't bother me because I'm cynical and self-aware enough to understand that most of the things I do in phandom and things I choose to discuss would not make me an individual Dan and Phil would like or approve of anyway, so seeing that reiterated doesn't bother me? Fans need to cater to respectful boundaries when it comes to approaching Dan and Phil and adhere to general rules of public conduct, but if we all only did things to win their approval we'd really have no discussion topics at all - especially on this forum. We are their necessary evil.)

DatCog · Tue Apr 25, 2017 1:37 pm

autumnhearth wrote:Wonderful balanced insights all around. You all are amazing.

But of course it also is terribly depressing to think about and leaves me feeling like a horrible person. It makes me very sad to think that if they got married that they wouldn't say anything. Like I get it, I do, but to not feel comfortable sharing such an important moment in your life... (I'm not even talking videos or photos or anything) Sigh. I don't know. Somebody please give me some hope. (Or I can just escape to the world of fanfiction).

(The husband actually said something along these lines though it was full of negativity and judgement. I had mentioned that Singapore has a ban on homosexuality and that fans speculating and writing fics about them getting engaged there (like at a fancy restaurant) are sadly wrong. And he replied "I hope they are already married and will never tell all you [insert judgemental words for the Phandom]". Yeah, he's lovely.)

On a happier note: the husband is now caught up with the Sims. Sunday night we watched Who's Your Daddy, which he was familiar with from one of his podcasts or shows, and started The Impossible Quiz!!! I suggested spacing them out, which after watching the first two he agreed with (but that second one is my favorite both for cute supportive/proud moments and also getting insight into the way they think).

Then last night we watched the two Golf With Friends videos. I was worried he might not like them as much, but he was cracking up frequently and his eyes went really wide at some of the innuendo. It was a success. I think next will be the singing ones and he wants to watch the Spooky Week videos (because he enjoys watching other people freak out), which I was not inclined to do on my own, so win!

The discussion about Dan's confidence left me with many emotions, but I really have nothing to add. One last thing re: appropriate fan public fan interactions. I mentioned smiling and waving, but if they were close by I might say 'Thank you for everything you do, you guys are amazing' providing that words did not fail me. But let's be honest, they aren't going to be coming out my way anytime soon.

Looking forward to any content they choose to post this week. I would love to hear more about their trip.

I love that you're able to share the joy that is DAPG with your husband! Mine is mostly indifferent although he will admit to enjoying the Sims episodes. I'm sure he rolls his eyes when he catches me watching D&P on my laptop or coming on here! My eldest is a big fan but prefers to watch their videos on her tablet in her room but thankfully I can always share them with my youngest who would watch them constantly if I let her

I hope Dan will do his ls tonight, I'm thirsty for something new from either of them as last Thursday seems like ages ago!

auri · Tue Apr 25, 2017 2:07 pm

DatCog wrote:I hope Dan will do his ls tonight, I'm thirsty for something new from either of them as last Thursday seems like ages ago!

aah this so much! I'm kinda hoping for a new video, because that I could watch today, but kinda hoping for ls, even though it would mean that I'd have to wait for tomorrow

I finished my Undertale rewatch today. It was an interesting journey and I found it funny how somewhere around the series (in the Gamingmas videos, maybe) D&P started kind casually lean to each other. It's very subtle and I think I haven't really notice it before, or haven't paid attention to it, but now that I saw it, it was really hard ignore it again. Maybe it's the post-baking universe, maybe it's my slightly pink tinted goggles, i don't know. i just really love the undertale series (if you haven't guessed yet).

allsaintshowell · Tue Apr 25, 2017 2:36 pm

heyo buddos, lurker here posting for the first time because she loves discussions on fandoms and all that shit.

i've only been a fan of dip n dots since gamingmas, but what i've seen of the "phandom" reminds me a lot of my home for the last six years, the one direction fandom. there's those who have grown as dan and phil have and have gone through aesthetic and branding changes, and then there are those who stick to the whiskers and llamas and lions branding and won't let it go. i think it's apt to say that deppy are annoyed by the "phandom" a lot, and i don't blame them. the most prominent part of dan and phil fans are those who stick to the whiskers branding and who put the "ph" in front of everything (dear god). they're the fans who squeal and scream and yell when meeting deppy and yeah, you can excuse some of them who are younger or who live in places that they never go to, but it's still ridiculous.

when discussing deppy and their relationship to their fans, we need to remember that they didn't start making videos to become famous and gain fans, unlike one direction who signed up for the x factor with the goal of becoming famous musicians. one can make the argument that 1d can't really complain or hate their fans because it's what they signed up for when they auditioned, but that same argument doesn't apply to deppy. if you were in their shoes, i'm sure you'd find a lot of your fans to be overbearing and annoying. it's impossible to not generalize fandoms unless you're actually a part of it. i never understood how people could stan youtubers and freak out over them until i fell down the deppy hole, and even now i don't understand what compels a lot of fans to be so cringy. maybe it's because i went through my cringy fan phase with one direction when i was younger, idk.

i don't blame deppy for being frustrated with a large portion of their fans. honestly, it must be exhausting for them. they didn't sign a contract when uploading their first videos that stated that they must love and adore their fans and never get annoyed or that they have to update their fans on their every move. do i enjoy knowing where they are and watching their adventures through fan photos and instagram posts? yes, of course. do they have an obligation to let us know every time they enter or leave the uk? nope. i don't want them to always love us because that's fake and manufactured and Not Them. i'd rather they be open with their annoyance or frustration and tell us to back off because that's more of a real relationship.

on another topic, iirc they said liveshows would be back today? if not, we'll still get a new video (bomb disposal pretty pretty please).

Ashling Rae · Tue Apr 25, 2017 2:45 pm

I would love a new video today. Live shows are great and all, but when you can't attend them live, it loses a bit of their appeal. I do watch them all, but it's just not as exciting. On the other hand, we'd probably get more info on how their trip went, which would be cool. Unless the theoretical new video were a DITL in Singapore, which I'm trying not to set my hopes too high on.

Tue Apr 25, 2017 2:58 pm

autumnhearth wrote: (The husband actually said something along these lines though it was full of negativity and judgement. I had mentioned that Singapore has a ban on homosexuality and that fans speculating and writing fics about them getting engaged there (like at a fancy restaurant) are sadly wrong. And he replied "I hope they are already married and will never tell all you [insert judgemental words for the Phandom]". Yeah, he's lovely.)

Your husband was maybe being provocatively unlovely, but he articulates some of my own negative feelings about the phandom. The phandom gets so invested in certain things. Some things are real and relevant, like "are they moving"--a legitimate question that will have an answer. But the whole engagement thing drives me nuts--I usually skip over engagement fics because I find it such a tired trope even if I may have written a couple myself.

I realize that for many people an engagement is always romantic, and they enjoy reading any slightly different take on it. But to me the obsession with an engagement is the most obvious divergence between the phandom and reality.

I personally wouldn't be surprised if they were already married. (Though isn't that discoverable?) But I would be very very surprised if they hadn't figured out their lives sometime in the past seven years--probably quite early on in those seven years, whether it included a formal proposal or not (I lean toward not, but that's my own headcanon).

Of course, if I'm right, then I can see them chuckling at any proposal hype if they happen to get exposed to it. If they're already married (or the moral equivalent) then pressure over a proposal isn't likely to stress them out. (Whereas other phandom pressure, like over coming out with a sexuality, could be much more stressful.)

mysterylovescompany · Tue Apr 25, 2017 3:07 pm

For the survey, I had so much trouble choosing between:
-Dan's diss track and "I Nearly Blinded Myself"
-Beastly banggang (so funny) and the bomb defusing co-op (I just love co-ops)

I won't be able to watch the ls show live if there is one, so I'm hoping for a new video instead. I totally thought we had another week of no liveshows? (I probably got that wrong, dw.) People have been speculating about a Singapore ditl, but I don't want to get my hopes up. Maybe I'll wish for a new dinof since it seems we're due one soon.

Where are they? Dan is in England, but is Phil there too? Not that I'm that bothered (I understand why they are reluctant to say their location), but they've been spoiling us this year and now I'm constantly wishing for content. Deppy are a drug

Didn't want to weigh in on the heavy discussions but I guess I want to say that I find myself nodding along to fancybum's posts a lot

autumnhearth, I loved reading your post about you and your husband watching deppy together!

Ashling Rae · Tue Apr 25, 2017 3:23 pm

LeftHandedism wrote: I personally wouldn't be surprised if they were already married. (Though isn't that discoverable?) But I would be very very surprised if they hadn't figured out their lives sometime in the past seven years--probably quite early on in those seven years, whether it included a formal proposal or not (I lean toward not, but that's my own headcanon).

I was definitely nodding along to this one. I personally believe they are not legally married. Maybe they never will be (insert "Mr. Marriage-Is-Just-A-Piece-Of-Paper" reference.) Heck, I still debate if they're in a romantic relationship the way most of us think about one. I'm pretty confident they love each other, and romantic feelings are included in that somewhere. But the "traditional" concept of a formal engagement-->wedding-->house-->dog-->adoption seems a bit well, discordant with them in my mind somehow. But I do believe that they know how they feel and what they want from each other and from life, and are living how they want to, or are pursuing that.
For me the engagement phanfics are just self-indulgent. But I love them all the same.

bluebox-away · Tue Apr 25, 2017 3:30 pm

Okay, what's the reveal? Moving?? Place your bets now
But seriously, I'm super intrigued why is he sponning an AmazingPhil video

Edit: also how the fuck do I get any work done in the next few hours?
The anticipation is killing me already

Lucyrg95 · Tue Apr 25, 2017 3:31 pm

damn daniel way to get me hyped up when i'm tryna keep my cool

(new video in new house?) THE SUSPENSE

blackdenim · Tue Apr 25, 2017 3:31 pm

Some kind of Big Announcement??

Edit: someone got there before me haha.

I didn't want to mention this bc I always feel so stalker-y talking about my constant proximity to their flat but I went past on the bus at the weekend and saw two guys that were NOT D&P through one of the windows I always assumed to be theirs. I could just have the windows wrong but I'm now convinced this video is announcing their move.

saffarinda · Tue Apr 25, 2017 3:32 pm

bluebox-away wrote:Okay, what's the reveal? Place your bets now

If it's anything OTHER than the fact that they're moving I think I'd be more surprised tbh

DatCog · Tue Apr 25, 2017 3:38 pm

It's either Singapore DITL or a moving reveal vid...can't wait! Hope they don't keep us hanging too long as I'll be stuck to my computer all evening

Edit: who am I kidding? I'm stuck to my computer every evening

opendoor · Tue Apr 25, 2017 3:40 pm

Ahhhhhhhh ffs why do I live in Australia I have to go to sleep not knowing what this is going to be ahhh. I kind of silent-screamed at my screen when I saw the tweet ahhh so exciting. Sorry I've lost the ability to do words. (obvi the most exciting answer is moving).

lost686girl · Tue Apr 25, 2017 3:40 pm

It's gotta be a day in the life. Which I'm pleased with.

quietphan · Tue Apr 25, 2017 3:41 pm

honestly how am i supposed to go on with my day now i want to know

scientia · Tue Apr 25, 2017 3:43 pm

saffarinda wrote:
bluebox-away wrote:Okay, what's the reveal? Place your bets now
If it's anything OTHER than the fact that they're moving I think I'd be more surprised tbh

All I know is that Dan has history of hyping videos that turn out to be disappointing not what we were expecting...I say I'll withhold expectations but in reality I'll be a mess until it's posted.

Tue Apr 25, 2017 3:45 pm

I'm keeping my expectations ridiculously low for the sake of my sanity.

Things this video could be:

An Australia vlog. That's why they've been tired. There's your "what Dan and Phil have been up to."
New office tour.
Reading the phone book.

Waggle9007 · Tue Apr 25, 2017 3:45 pm

bluebox-away wrote:Okay, what's the reveal? Moving?? Place your bets now
But seriously, I'm super intrigued why is he sponning an AmazingPhil video
Edit: also how the fuck do I get any work done in the next few hours?
The anticipation is killing me already

Can we just appreciate the fact that Dan referred to 'Dan and Phil' as a single entity (probably by accident but oh well )

fancybum · Tue Apr 25, 2017 3:46 pm

I'm officially terrified. Expecting an announcement of a secret project or that they've moved their production space (hello new backgrounds?) into that office. I know everyone thinks that's unlikely but I'm not so sure anymore. Ahhhhhh

bee · Tue Apr 25, 2017 3:47 pm

Waggle9007 wrote:
bluebox-away wrote:Okay, what's the reveal? Moving?? Place your bets now
But seriously, I'm super intrigued why is he sponning an AmazingPhil video
Edit: also how the fuck do I get any work done in the next few hours?
The anticipation is killing me already
Can we just appreciate the fact that Dan referred to 'Dan and Phil' as a single entity (probably by accident but oh well )

Yeah
Though I feel weird about the tweet and how he worded it. Maybe it's my brain but I feel ominous too.

Maybe it's an announcement.. maybe it's Clickbait *to the Maybelline tune*

hunnyftw · Tue Apr 25, 2017 3:53 pm

rizzo wrote:I'm keeping my expectations ridiculously low for the sake of my sanity.

Yeah, I'm desperately trying to do the same because it's the only healthy option. I'm also totally failing at it, together with all of you. Damn you Daniel!

Also, it's lovely to wake up to almost 3 new pages of well written, interesting discussions on here. Ugh, I'm changing fandoms and stanning all of you right now. Deppy who?

majitzu · Tue Apr 25, 2017 3:54 pm

What are you talking about? Everyone knows deppy is one entity

blackdenim · Tue Apr 25, 2017 3:54 pm

fancybum wrote:I'm officially terrified. Expecting an announcement of a secret project or that they've moved their production space (hello new backgrounds?) into that office. I know everyone thinks that's unlikely but I'm not so sure anymore. Ahhhhhh

Ohhh I forgot about the office. I thought that was fairly viable for a while, I still think it could be that!

I wonder what time they'll upload.