Dan & Phil Part 58: Come in my lady door

Our two favourite full time internet nerds who never go outside!
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liola
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obvsly wrote: Thu Nov 02, 2017 11:45 am Re: coming out
I always think it would be something small but clear enough. Like, Dan might choose to read a chat one day in his live show, “Is phan real?” And he would roll his eyes and say, “Really? Guys, really? It’s 2018, do you even have to ask anymore? Come on.” Then move on to another topic and carry on as usual, while Phil never comments on it ever. :mrgreen: I just can’t see any big reveal coming from either of them other than that.
Same but you know that if he did that people would say it wasn't a confirmation but he was just mocking the shippers :lol:

I don't know I just think that at some point they will confirm it, I don't see it at something they want to hide forever you know? It gets to a point where hiding something is more hurting than revealing it, and they're definitely in a more stable place than ever - both financially and in their personal lives
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I'm so mad that I'm gonna be at work all day tomorrow so won't get to watch the dog video for like 12 hours after it comes out. The calendar looks incredible, the April picture being a homage to their trip to Japan just really got me :love2:
I'm not gonna buy it as I never buy merch, but I'm excited to see what the rest of the months are!

Re: Coming Out - I've been watching dnp on and off for almost five years now, and every time there's a shift in their behaviour or a sense of anticipation in the air, people tend to speculate that they might come out officially. I don't see them ever making a video to come out, I think it's more likely that they're currently in a long, continued process of normalising their relationship without ever having to actually make an official statement, so that there'll be a point where it'll be completely obvious to everyone that they're together without them ever explicitly drawing attention to that fact.
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fancybum wrote: Thu Nov 02, 2017 12:03 pm
obvsly wrote: Thu Nov 02, 2017 11:45 am Re: coming out
I always think it would be something small but clear enough. Like, Dan might choose to read a chat one day in his live show, “Is phan real?” And he would roll his eyes and say, “Really? Guys, really? It’s 2018, do you even have to ask anymore? Come on.” Then move on to another topic and carry on as usual, while Phil never comments on it ever. :mrgreen: I just can’t see any big reveal coming from either of them other than that.
lmaooo and people would still interpret it in exact opposite ways by going 'See? Remember 2012?? He's clearly saying again that phan's not real omg stop reaching how disrespectful'. I agree that I still don't think they'd ever do or say anything official. They're masters of hint dropping and alluding to things and thinking way in advance. With all of that in mind, I think they would be making more of a conscious effort to stop referring to each other as 'friends' in videos now to be laying more groundwork, like stop reinforcing that public narrative so much. I'm big on 'one doesn't preclude the other, friendship is obviously a big part of the larger story' but Friends is what they've always gone with publicly and that branding is still very much underlined all the time. A cute 'coupley' calendar photo shoot doesn't undo that overnight. So maybe (definitely) they're less fussed about how they're perceived, but I don't think it's because they've got some grand revelatory plan on the horizon. 'They'll need to confirm it eventually' has been said for years and for years they've "needed" to do no such thing.
I agree with you @fancybum - they'd definitely be leaning less heavily on the 'best friend' talk if they were leading up to coming out as a couple (not that them being best friends doesn't mean they're a couple).

I don't think they'll eve confirm or deny their relationship status while they're still in the public eye (be that YT or if they move into traditional media) - for two reasons. Partially I just don't think they'd want to be known as 'that YouTube gay couple' by casual viewers/other industry people, and more cynically, I think they know that actually a lot of their appeal is the 'will they/won't they?' - or more accurately, the 'are they/aren't they?' element of their relationship/dynamic. Yes I know they'd still have millions of fans if they came out definitively as a couple, or said 'actually we really aren't together - we're moving apart/have other partners/whatever', but I do think most of the fun for a lot of people is the analysis, noticing the cute moments, debating whether or not love-eyes are real, trying to work out sleeping arrangements, etc. and so the kind of... intensity or loyalty of their fanbase might wane if they officially confirmed or denied, because there wouldn't be the need to do those things, and I think they're very aware of that.

Basically I'm trying to say that ambiguity is part of their branding at this point and I can't see them changing it.
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blackdenim wrote: Thu Nov 02, 2017 12:22 pm Basically I'm trying to say that ambiguity is part of their branding at this point and I can't see them changing it.
I actually don’t disagree with you at all! Well, maybe except for the last part. I don’t think branding is the main reason for them to keep it ambiguous. I feel that it’s probably because being openly gay on YouTube comes with great expectations. And many people will see it as their responsibility to become activists on gay rights and gay everything. They probably don’t want to become Rose and Rosie or Joey Graceffa and his boyfriend or other YouTube couples and creators that being gay becomes bigger than their content. It would be great for the community if dnp can commit to it, but I don’t think they’re ready yet. Probably never will.
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blackdenim wrote: Thu Nov 02, 2017 12:22 pm
fancybum wrote: Thu Nov 02, 2017 12:03 pm
obvsly wrote: Thu Nov 02, 2017 11:45 am Re: coming out
I always think it would be something small but clear enough. Like, Dan might choose to read a chat one day in his live show, “Is phan real?” And he would roll his eyes and say, “Really? Guys, really? It’s 2018, do you even have to ask anymore? Come on.” Then move on to another topic and carry on as usual, while Phil never comments on it ever. :mrgreen: I just can’t see any big reveal coming from either of them other than that.
lmaooo and people would still interpret it in exact opposite ways by going 'See? Remember 2012?? He's clearly saying again that phan's not real omg stop reaching how disrespectful'. I agree that I still don't think they'd ever do or say anything official. They're masters of hint dropping and alluding to things and thinking way in advance. With all of that in mind, I think they would be making more of a conscious effort to stop referring to each other as 'friends' in videos now to be laying more groundwork, like stop reinforcing that public narrative so much. I'm big on 'one doesn't preclude the other, friendship is obviously a big part of the larger story' but Friends is what they've always gone with publicly and that branding is still very much underlined all the time. A cute 'coupley' calendar photo shoot doesn't undo that overnight. So maybe (definitely) they're less fussed about how they're perceived, but I don't think it's because they've got some grand revelatory plan on the horizon. 'They'll need to confirm it eventually' has been said for years and for years they've "needed" to do no such thing.
I agree with you @fancybum - they'd definitely be leaning less heavily on the 'best friend' talk if they were leading up to coming out as a couple (not that them being best friends doesn't mean they're a couple).

I don't think they'll eve confirm or deny their relationship status while they're still in the public eye (be that YT or if they move into traditional media) - for two reasons. Partially I just don't think they'd want to be known as 'that YouTube gay couple' by casual viewers/other industry people, and more cynically, I think they know that actually a lot of their appeal is the 'will they/won't they?' - or more accurately, the 'are they/aren't they?' element of their relationship/dynamic. Yes I know they'd still have millions of fans if they came out definitively as a couple, or said 'actually we really aren't together - we're moving apart/have other partners/whatever', but I do think most of the fun for a lot of people is the analysis, noticing the cute moments, debating whether or not love-eyes are real, trying to work out sleeping arrangements, etc. and so the kind of... intensity or loyalty of their fanbase might wane if they officially confirmed or denied, because there wouldn't be the need to do those things, and I think they're very aware of that.

Basically I'm trying to say that ambiguity is part of their branding at this point and I can't see them changing it.
I think a cool way to casually come out would be an Instagram pic - just something obvious, a kiss or maybe even an engagement pic. :) They don't even ever have to talk about it, but it would be a clear statement. A good picture says more than a thousand words. ;) Also, while I agree that a big part of their appeal is are they/aren't they, I do think they had to come out at some point just to be able to live their lives. To buy that dog, a forever home and maybe adopt two children. They can't do that, especially children, if they aren't out.
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George wrote: Thu Nov 02, 2017 1:31 pm
I think a cool way to casually come out would be an Instagram pic - just something obvious, a kiss or maybe even an engagement pic. :) They don't even ever have to talk about it, but it would be a clear statement. A good picture says more than a thousand words. ;) Also, while I agree that a big part of their appeal is are they/aren't they, I do think they had to come out at some point just to be able to live their lives. To buy that dog, a forever home and maybe adopt two children. They can't do that, especially children, if they aren't out.
I always thought if they did ever come out as a couple to their audience, they would just Beyonce a wedding and post a wedding pic perhaps the evening of or the morning after their wedding. Super like 'no big deal, this is what we did today', but completely unambiguous and then completely go on as normal except maybe referring to each other as husbands instead of best friends. (I have too much time on my hands that I can sit making up these fantasy scenarios in my head :lol:)
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Coming out- See I’m probably one of the only ones on here that doesn’t believe they are in a relationship. And by that I mean a “normal” male/male relationship. I know they love each other. I would love the idea of them being together but there will always be doubt in my mind because nothings confirmed. I don’t get mad when people think they are together because I see it and I don’t get mad when people say they arnt together because I will always have this doubt in my mind. Their behaviour over the past couple years with everything tells me that they plan on staying in this life they built together. Talking about getting a dog, a forever home so I do believe they want those things but dan sometimes moking by saying “ this is what you wanted” , “this is what you signed up for” or in his live show when he talked about borrowing phils coat. That will always make me doubt it. As I’m writing this I feel stupid like this makes no sense but now you can see the constant fight I have to deal with thinking if they’ve are together. And tbh it’s probably a shield Iv put up so if they were to get into separate relationships i could not feel hurt. Now Will they every come soon if a couple? I don’t think so because this happens so often, every year people think they are building up and they will come out in a dramatic way but that’s just not who they are. And I think they have shown that with dans sexuality, he makes it clear for the people who are listening he’s not straight without saying the words and that’s great. And like other people have said that maybe that’s what they will do fine they are a couple.
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blackdenim wrote: Thu Nov 02, 2017 12:22 pm
fancybum wrote: Thu Nov 02, 2017 12:03 pm
obvsly wrote: Thu Nov 02, 2017 11:45 am Re: coming out
I always think it would be something small but clear enough. Like, Dan might choose to read a chat one day in his live show, “Is phan real?” And he would roll his eyes and say, “Really? Guys, really? It’s 2018, do you even have to ask anymore? Come on.” Then move on to another topic and carry on as usual, while Phil never comments on it ever. :mrgreen: I just can’t see any big reveal coming from either of them other than that.
lmaooo and people would still interpret it in exact opposite ways by going 'See? Remember 2012?? He's clearly saying again that phan's not real omg stop reaching how disrespectful'. I agree that I still don't think they'd ever do or say anything official. They're masters of hint dropping and alluding to things and thinking way in advance. With all of that in mind, I think they would be making more of a conscious effort to stop referring to each other as 'friends' in videos now to be laying more groundwork, like stop reinforcing that public narrative so much. I'm big on 'one doesn't preclude the other, friendship is obviously a big part of the larger story' but Friends is what they've always gone with publicly and that branding is still very much underlined all the time. A cute 'coupley' calendar photo shoot doesn't undo that overnight. So maybe (definitely) they're less fussed about how they're perceived, but I don't think it's because they've got some grand revelatory plan on the horizon. 'They'll need to confirm it eventually' has been said for years and for years they've "needed" to do no such thing.
I agree with you @fancybum - they'd definitely be leaning less heavily on the 'best friend' talk if they were leading up to coming out as a couple (not that them being best friends doesn't mean they're a couple).

I don't think they'll eve confirm or deny their relationship status while they're still in the public eye (be that YT or if they move into traditional media) - for two reasons. Partially I just don't think they'd want to be known as 'that YouTube gay couple' by casual viewers/other industry people, and more cynically, I think they know that actually a lot of their appeal is the 'will they/won't they?' - or more accurately, the 'are they/aren't they?' element of their relationship/dynamic. Yes I know they'd still have millions of fans if they came out definitively as a couple, or said 'actually we really aren't together - we're moving apart/have other partners/whatever', but I do think most of the fun for a lot of people is the analysis, noticing the cute moments, debating whether or not love-eyes are real, trying to work out sleeping arrangements, etc. and so the kind of... intensity or loyalty of their fanbase might wane if they officially confirmed or denied, because there wouldn't be the need to do those things, and I think they're very aware of that.

Basically I'm trying to say that ambiguity is part of their branding at this point and I can't see them changing it.
I agree with blackdenim and fancybum.

Thinking back, they've made a conscious effort to use "friend" all throughout this year, they emphasized it, there is no sign that they are planning to drop this any time soon. The baking video was cute and all if you look at it through goggles, but if i think about it from a more casual viewer perspective they were pushing a we're just bros who've known each other for 8 years bro" narrative.
And i'm going to be a little cynical too and say that if they're planning another tour, moving towards any definitive statements about their relationship would be the opposite of what they'll do. It would be great to be proven wrong, though.

obvsly wrote: Thu Nov 02, 2017 12:49 pm
blackdenim wrote: Thu Nov 02, 2017 12:22 pm Basically I'm trying to say that ambiguity is part of their branding at this point and I can't see them changing it.
I actually don’t disagree with you at all! Well, maybe except for the last part. I don’t think branding is the main reason for them to keep it ambiguous. I feel that it’s probably because being openly gay on YouTube comes with great expectations. And many people will see it as their responsibility to become activists on gay rights and gay everything. They probably don’t want to become Rose and Rosie or Joey Graceffa and his boyfriend or other YouTube couples and creators that being gay becomes bigger than their content. It would be great for the community if dnp can commit to it, but I don’t think they’re ready yet. Probably never will.
I think it's a combination of both.
There are lgbtq youtubers who aren't activists, they are just out and living their life, they can always take that route.
And Dan, at least, seems willing to tackle these subjects in his liveshow and tweet openly about pride, even if he's not defined himself, so not wanting to be activists must not be that big of a deterrent. Whether they like it or not, speculation about their relationship has become bigger than their content already.
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blackdenim wrote: Thu Nov 02, 2017 2:13 pm
George wrote: Thu Nov 02, 2017 1:31 pm
I think a cool way to casually come out would be an Instagram pic - just something obvious, a kiss or maybe even an engagement pic. :) They don't even ever have to talk about it, but it would be a clear statement. A good picture says more than a thousand words. ;) Also, while I agree that a big part of their appeal is are they/aren't they, I do think they had to come out at some point just to be able to live their lives. To buy that dog, a forever home and maybe adopt two children. They can't do that, especially children, if they aren't out.
I always thought if they did ever come out as a couple to their audience, they would just Beyonce a wedding and post a wedding pic perhaps the evening of or the morning after their wedding. Super like 'no big deal, this is what we did today', but completely unambiguous and then completely go on as normal except maybe referring to each other as husbands instead of best friends. (I have too much time on my hands that I can sit making up these fantasy scenarios in my head :lol:)
I've always thought it would be something like this. Or at least, if they get married, they won't tell us until afterwards--I'm thinking maybe days/weeks/honeymoon afterwards. They'd be silly to announce an "engagement" (that decision was surely made long ago)--can you imagine the stress of pulling off a nice wedding with the phandom panting at their heels?

I'm sure they can quietly get family and close friends together for something low-key--maybe we'd all notice suspicious flights to IOM by multiple Deppy intimates, but by then it would hopefully be too late for stalkers to follow. (Which argues, of course, for picking somewhere just outside of London that's easy for them and most guests to get to unobserved.)
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i am also one of those who think they will never make an official coming out video/announcement.
just because of who they are and how labels are not important to them; i personally don't think it's even necessary at this point. a heterosexual never has to "come out" and reveal their sexuality to their friends and family or the internet. therefore i don't think any other sexualities need to or be asked to reveal anything.

there's certainly nothing wrong with coming out videos and i'm not against it at all; i think it's great that certain individuals who once were not comfortable nor confident in their sexuality want to talk about their struggles in finding that identity. a lot of them do make these videos in hopes for others who are struggling/questioning and are searching for some help/guidance.

i don't like to over analyze their behavior via their videos because again, nothing IS confirmed but nor do i ever expect a direct "hey guys, we're ____" from either of them.
like someone else mentioned, sometime from now, whether that may be by the end of 2017 or 2022 ( :number1: )..... i can see them both casually posting an instagram stating their commitment to each other.

*a cheeky photo of them together with a caption like (dan's probably): "i said yes".*
*photo of them around unpacked boxes in their next [forever] home with a caption like: "now we just need a dog."*
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malday wrote: Thu Nov 02, 2017 2:36 pm There are lgbtq youtubers who aren't activists, they are just out and living their life, they can always take that route.
And Dan, at least, seems willing to tackle these subjects in his liveshow and tweet openly about pride, even if he's not defined himself, so not wanting to be activists must not be that big of a deterrent. Whether they like it or not, speculation about their relationship has become bigger than their content already.
I definitely see them being lgbtq youtubers who aren't activists; I think once they hit a point of total transparency they might be slightly more vocal about things but I just don't see either of them being outspoken about anything, not in this current position they're in with a massive audience interpreting, judging, and taking to extremes everything they say.

I'm also on team 'not gonna officially come out' and I think they'll ride the friend train even as the walls disintegrate around them until it's just the two of them wobbling along the tracks on one wheel like a unicycle but still adamantly referring to each other as 'friend' in main channel videos.
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I am loving all this coming out (or "coming out") talk. I think I'm that group that doesn't believe they would do an actual coming out video or anything like that, probably just some v casual boyfriend/husband ( :number1: ) mention or a pic or something. Also as I am, hmm, not a shipper, probably a believer or smth idk a good term for it buut, I too have some doubts if they are or aren't they or what's going on, but tbqh I'm once again leaning towards the "they are" side. Maybe it's just all that has been going on lately, idk, maybe I'm just having bad influences from you guys haha or something, but I'm having pretty thicc "they are" vibes from them. (I'm rambling, sorry aah i have a flu)
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malday wrote: Thu Nov 02, 2017 2:36 pm I agree with blackdenim and fancybum.
Thinking back, they've made a conscious effort to use "friend" all throughout this year, they emphasized it, there is no sign that they are planning to drop this any time soon. The baking video was cute and all if you look at it through goggles, but if i think about it from a more casual viewer perspective they were pushing a we're just bros who've known each other for 8 years bro" narrative.
I too agree that it's unlikely that they're planning a coming out any time soon. However I disagree that they're "pushing the bro narrative". Addressing each other as friends/best friends is something they've always done, the "friend mentions" haven't decreased, but haven't increased either in the past year. What changed is the context. Yes, they still refer to each other as " friends" as much as they did in the past, but I think that's out of convenience and habit. What term could replace "friend" that isn't "boyfriend"?

There is so much else that has changed though. Bigger and more meaningful things than just the word they use to talk about each other. They are more relaxed than they've ever been before and it's clear they don't care how they are perceived anymore. They seem to be in a place where they even feel comfortable in showing blatant affection and commitment toward each other in a way they hadn't before. Sharing domestic stories, going on multiple vacations together, hanging out with each other's families and letting us in on that, generally not shying away from the simple and undeniable fact that they share pretty much every single aspect of their life, spend most of their time together and are happy that way and not planning to change that.

I don't think they will ever make any kind of public announcement or explicitly say "yes, we are together". That is just not their style. It would only shift everyone's focus on their relationship and I doubt that's what they want.
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oh no, @auri - we're wearing the same thing, does one of us need to change??

(but jk bc everyone could have this profile pic and i'd be perfectly happy)
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malday wrote: Thu Nov 02, 2017 2:36 pm Thinking back, they've made a conscious effort to use "friend" all throughout this year, they emphasized it, there is no sign that they are planning to drop this any time soon. The baking video was cute and all if you look at it through goggles, but if i think about it from a more casual viewer perspective they were pushing a we're just bros who've known each other for 8 years bro" narrative.
And i'm going to be a little cynical too and say that if they're planning another tour, moving towards any definitive statements about their relationship would be the opposite of what they'll do. It would be great to be proven wrong, though.
THIS, yes. That's not even cynical. Declaring to the world 'hey everyone please look at our private relationship in a brand new light! Come on in!' right before doing some huge m&g (or whatever) tour sounds like a complete fucking nightmare scenario on a level I can't even fully comprehend and goes so against the way they've chosen to interact with their audience over the years that it doesn't even approach being a realistic possibility (..imo). Confirming it One Day, sure, I won't entirely rule that out because people and circumstances can change, but I just don't see the net value of them just throwing that out there to the wolves 'just because'. There's "being more relaxed" and then there's "tearing off your entire arm instead of the bandaid".
Last edited by fancybum on Thu Nov 02, 2017 3:45 pm, edited 1 time in total.
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smol beans wrote: Thu Nov 02, 2017 3:12 pm a heterosexual never has to "come out" and reveal their sexuality to their friends and family or the internet. therefore i don't think any other sexualities need to or be asked to reveal anything.
At this point, I see their "coming out" more as a coming out with relationship rather than sexuality. Of course being queer plays a part, but it's not the only fact people are after.
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alittledizzy wrote: Thu Nov 02, 2017 3:43 pm oh no, @auri - we're wearing the same thing, does one of us need to change??

(but jk bc everyone could have this profile pic and i'd be perfectly happy)
Please don't change. :D I love so much that it's almost like the whole board is tinted pink now. (And I'm glad that I have a bit of pink in mine too. :love2: )
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i dunno. i’ve always been in camp “none of my damn business”. they’ll do what they do, maybe they are, maybe they aren’t (i think no matter what they do now, i’ll always lean towards aren’t tbh, i am not expecting them to come out (if they are together) at all)
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Regarding Dp Touring LLP, I've seen a few people on Twitter mentioning that it just has to do with Big Potato and their board game and that it's for profit management, not a tour. Thoughts?
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irt coming out- my opinion has always been that they will continue doing what they're doing (referring to each other as friend, showing varying levels of affection depending on the time, living together, etc.) for as long as they are in the public eye. The only thing that I can see kinda forcing their hand would be if they want to have kids - they'd need to be married/in a civil partnership of some kind. And, I mean, who's gonna look at two men raising a child as "just bros"? This all may be a long way off or completely off base but, yeah.
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Deviating slightly from the topic of coming out, Dan and Phil's calendar cute responses from Zoe and Dodie.
(I sort of wish they were better friends with Zoe. She definitely has her issues - like the whole ghostwriting thing - but she also seems like a person who genuinely values being nice and genuine to people on a one to one basis.)
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alittledizzy wrote: Thu Nov 02, 2017 4:31 pm (I sort of wish they were better friends with Zoe. She definitely has her issues - like the whole ghostwriting thing - but she also seems like a person who genuinely values being nice and genuine to people on a one to one basis.)
(But then they'd have to spend more time with Alfie and that would be cruel and unusual punishment)
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I don't think they're pushing the friends narrative more than they've done in the past honestly, If ever compared to the past years they're more and more domestic and affectionate and flirty on camera, even if they still call each other friends. And I mean, it's not like they can use any other word unless they confirm their relationship, right?

I still think if they're really together (and I 99% believe it) then they will confirm it one day. They both want a family, they've talked about it, and I can't imagine them keeping a child into a secret relationship tbh. I'm not saying it's happening this year or the next one, no one knows, but I do think it will happen. Subtly, without fanfare around it, just a casual thing because it's not a big deal.

Also I too wish they would hang out with Zoe, I like her and I liked whenever they did hang out together in the past. I always wonder why they don't spend more time together considering they're all close to Louise. I just pictured Phil playing with Nala 💙💙💙
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fancybum wrote: Thu Nov 02, 2017 4:37 pm
alittledizzy wrote: Thu Nov 02, 2017 4:31 pm (I sort of wish they were better friends with Zoe. She definitely has her issues - like the whole ghostwriting thing - but she also seems like a person who genuinely values being nice and genuine to people on a one to one basis.)
(But then they'd have to spend more time with Alfie and that would be cruel and unusual punishment)
Dear god - NO.
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alittledizzy
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fancybum wrote: Thu Nov 02, 2017 4:37 pm
alittledizzy wrote: Thu Nov 02, 2017 4:31 pm (I sort of wish they were better friends with Zoe. She definitely has her issues - like the whole ghostwriting thing - but she also seems like a person who genuinely values being nice and genuine to people on a one to one basis.)
(But then they'd have to spend more time with Alfie and that would be cruel and unusual punishment)
... shit, true.

Maybe they can visit Brighton on a weekend when it's just Zoe and Mark hanging around and Alfie's off on one of this monthly vacations.
liola wrote: Thu Nov 02, 2017 4:57 pmAlso I too wish they would hang out with Zoe, I like her and I liked whenever they did hang out together in the past. I always wonder why they don't spend more time together considering they're all close to Louise. I just pictured Phil playing with Nala 💙💙💙
I want Phil playing with Nala, too.

In Zoe's latest vlog (which I watched partly bc I wanted to see if she commented on Hello World being such a clusterfuck - and partly because I'm still a sucker for box exchange videos) and she did a Halloween box swap with Joey Graceffa and his boyfriend. In this case Zoe had specifically asked if any of her American youtuber friends wanted to do it, but I feel like Phil would totally get into something like that if he were invited to - just buying a load of random shit for someone and then getting a box full of random shit back. It'd be like leveling up the whole mystery ebay box video.
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