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kavat
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Oh my. I tried to read this chapter discretely at work but lol bad idea. The first part had me smiling wildly and then I was this >< close to crying. Just all the feelings at once.

And yes, DTU! Boy was that a twist I wasn't prepared for. I don't even know what's going to happen now.
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kay
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Man I realllllly wanted to hold out until it was done but thanks to all these amazing comments I think I've lost all my willpower and I'll succumb to this this weekend.
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kindofatrashcan wrote: Fri Jan 05, 2018 12:18 pm Oh god DTU that last chapter man... i really don't know what to think. i mean, i'm happy for Dan, because he seems happy but i feel like that feeling comes from a place of 'forget phil' like not the right place for a feeling at all. Aaaand Roger guys!!! I really really like him (more than phil's wife that's for sure) so i'm really sad for him, because i don't know if Dan really loves him. If the next chapter is Phil's POV (wich i think it is) i'm going to die.

By the way, i started something that one of you recommended (sorry i'm in my phone so i can't find your name!!) L'Histoire Française and IT'S AMAZING!! That sexual tension tho.... :stan:
I bet June is pregnant with the childhood friend’s baby. That’s why her nipples hurt when phil touched them. She’s been gone a few weeks at this point, right?
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pastelspectre
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This new chapter was so good. Really emotional! Made me tear up:c I love how the author writes. It’s probably my favorite phanfic in the phandom so far
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kindofatrashcan
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MythicalPinkTrashCan wrote: Fri Jan 05, 2018 9:39 pm
kindofatrashcan wrote: Fri Jan 05, 2018 12:18 pm Oh god DTU that last chapter man... i really don't know what to think. i mean, i'm happy for Dan, because he seems happy but i feel like that feeling comes from a place of 'forget phil' like not the right place for a feeling at all. Aaaand Roger guys!!! I really really like him (more than phil's wife that's for sure) so i'm really sad for him, because i don't know if Dan really loves him. If the next chapter is Phil's POV (wich i think it is) i'm going to die.

By the way, i started something that one of you recommended (sorry i'm in my phone so i can't find your name!!) L'Histoire Française and IT'S AMAZING!! That sexual tension tho.... :stan:
I bet June is pregnant with the childhood friend’s baby. That’s why her nipples hurt when phil touched them. She’s been gone a few weeks at this point, right?
I NEVER THOUGHT ABOUT THAT you've traumatized me... poor Phil, as we say here, if june is pregnant 'he left without the bread and without the cake' (se quedó sin el pan y sin la torta) because june is with that 'friend' and dan is in that idillic relationship with roger... oh man... poor soul.

Aaand THAT UPDATE (of amaaf) can i cry for dan?. I don't have maternal instincts at all, but this version of dan makes me have them (filthy jimmy listening to our phil's happy time 8-) aaaand he did it a couple of times now!! I'm really excited for that development ) annnd i really liked that it looks like dan's flatmates, or at least that one aren't as bad as dan describe them.

(Ugh i can't write in english sorry for this disaster)
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New chapter of amaaf was incredible. I've been wondering when Dan would have another depressive episode, and had a feeling it was coming soon. The writer handled it so perfectly - she has a real skill of keeping the whole thing very realistic, true to both irl Dan and to the Dan and Phil in this fic, and also so gut-wrenching. Phil handled it all so well, and both his and Dan's reactions to everything just felt so real and organic.

I realize I pretty much use the word 'realistic' every time I praise this fic, but it really is the highest compliment from me. If the story and characters and everything about it feel 'real' and I get lost in the story so much that I forget it's a story, that's the best thing I can get out of a fic. I think this can both be attributed to the core themes and characterizations of the fic, and also to the writing style. The writer is clearly talented, especially when it comes to keeping dialogue flowing naturally. I find quite a few writers use to many "he said she saids" and descriptors and such, where Wavey seems to know the perfect balance of when to just let dialogue sit on its own, and when to add descriptors, etc.

Another thing I liked about this chapter, was how even though they were clearly dealing with a serious issue, that didn't put everything else completely on the back burner. What I mean is, Phil was still picking up on the mentions that Dan likes him more than a friend, and still getting excited about that (excited isn't really the right word, but you know) while still being focused on just taking care of Dan. He knows it's not the time for any of that, but other people's emotions and thoughts don't just stop because someone they care about is depressed. Basically what I'm saying is, it was all handled with the appropriate sensitivity, but it didn't go over-the-top romanticized sensitivity like some writers can make it.

And one more thing I really loved is that the writer gave Dan's flatmate redeemable qualities. I'm sure he's still a bit of a cunt (as Dan would say), but people aren't black and white. And it also shows what I think is Dan projecting his own thoughts and feelings onto other people. As the flatmate said, Dan never talked to the other roommates. I'm sure they're not perfect, but it's also probably a cyclical thing where Dan found them douchey to begin with and was also insecure and self-conscious so he didn't talk to them, so then they didn't talk to Dan, which made them seem like more assholes to Dan, etc etc. I think this is very Dan-like (especially in this fic but also in real life).
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AroboticPhil
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I feel like I'm missing out on the Disturb the Universe fic, it seems very well written and interesting but (and I feel very cheesy and stupid saying that) reading D&P with other people makes me feel quite sad, I can't handle that kind of angst and I don't even know why.
I don't know if anyone else feels the same but I really hate how much it puts me off because then there are a lot of good fics I have to stop myself from reading :(
(also this is not at all a criticism of the author whatsoever, they can write whatever they want, this is just my personal preference)

kindofatrashcan wrote: Fri Jan 05, 2018 12:18 pm By the way, i started something that one of you recommended (sorry i'm in my phone so i can't find your name!!) L'Histoire Française and IT'S AMAZING!! That sexual tension tho.... :stan:
I think that might have been me and yay ! :)
ikr I'm loving it! fic spoiler :
guess John told Phil they couldn't date... he is such a cockblock in this story i hate him shhsgs. I can't wait for them to have some sort of Talk about their relationship tho !!)
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obsessivelymoody
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AroboticPhil wrote: Sat Jan 06, 2018 4:29 pm I feel like I'm missing out on the Disturb the Universe fic, it seems very well written and interesting but (and I feel very cheesy and stupid saying that) reading D&P with other people makes me feel quite sad, I can't handle that kind of angst and I don't even know why.
I don't know if anyone else feels the same but I really hate how much it puts me off because then there are a lot of good fics I have to stop myself from reading :(
(also this is not at all a criticism of the author whatsoever, they can write whatever they want, this is just my personal preference)
I feel the same way too! I can read fics where one of them is in a relationship with someone else, despite all the insane amount of lusting that usually accompanies that, but that's because I know they're end up together one way or another. (ugh I'm such a demon) But I really do feel you about hating how much it puts you off because I'm sure I've also missed out on some really great fics :/ Though somehow I managed to get hooked on DTU, even with the strange sad feeling it keeps giving me, and it's slowly ruining me.

But I honestly can't think of a reason for avoiding fics where deppy aren't single or already together besides me being a giant demon. However, I have a history with doing that as I would exclusively read Ron/Hermione fics when Harry Potter was all I cared about as I was obsessed with shipping them, and did the same with Glee and Klaine.

A little bit of spoiler-y stuff about DTU under the cut
A LOT happened in the chapter. I loved the communication, but I was so shocked at how fast it moved. I do still wonder if June is pregnant and whether or not it'll come back into play later on.

Overall, I guess I'm just really glad they communicated their feelings finally and in a mature way that wasn't a huge fight like a lot of people pass healthy and cathartic communication off as.
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I'm just gonna pretend y'all know me and jump in on today's DTU chapter.
This chapter feels like a real shift to me. Not that I think the darkest is necessarily behind us yet, but since we recently had Phil more or less blaming Dan and continuing to avoid his own agency, it's a pretty big deal to see him getting real with himself and June and taking responsibility for things. (Of course, he's still not making real efforts to talk to Dan, but maybe now that he's figured out what he wants, he will.) It's interesting how both Dan and Phil are more present and engaged in their relationships post-kiss, and the different directions that that goes. It's also a shift in that it goes for the jugular on the exposition we've been dancing around.

Exposition-wise, we've got a lot of gaps in the story filled in. Phil seems more self-aware than I might have expected; the sort of internalized homophobia thing reminds me a bit of adorkablephil's Happily Ever After, and I was surprised to see him understanding and owning up to it. Since the Dan & June chapter I've been wondering what she knew, or thought she knew, and it's less than I maybe thought. I might have to revisit the apology scene; knowing that she thought they might actually be sleeping together in the present should give it a bunch of new layers. It also makes me wonder how long June would have just gone on, not talking about what she knew, and the clear problems, because if they got real with each other, their marriage would fall apart. June might be my favorite character (besides Teddy, I'm a Teddy fan) in this fic but it's a lot to wrap my head around with her. (My read is that her response to the idea of counseling is basically 'are you kidding? if we talk honestly our marriage is gonna fall apart, not be fixed.') Like, it really sucks to be June, and it's a sad way to build a life, but I've been (and still am) pretty pissed at Phil for acting like he has no agency and ignoring problems while June has kind of been doing the same thing. I'm gearing up to forgive Phil and get behind him more, seeing as a happy ending's gonna need that, but I do feel a little weird about how -- while I'm glad Phil wants to make things easy for June -- he doesn't seem that bothered about his kids blaming him for the divorce or how the whole thing's gonna affect them. I don't have experience with divorced parents or marriage, and I totally support the idea that people shouldn't subvert their own happiness to the idea that staying together is better for the kids (and that unhappy marriages probably aren't wonderful for kids either) but I do wonder about where that leaves Phil's relationship with his kids (Teddy!) and how they're gonna deal. I don't know about this Dan's-house-next-door situation...

(I wrote this before I saw the previous post; I really liked how the not-everyone's-in-love-with-their-best-friend thing went, so I am not sure that I'm team pregnant!June, but I'm sure if that's where it's going Ashley could sell me on it.)
Sorry I went off there, I'm trying to figure out how best to do this talking about fic thing. And I've been led to believe Ashley likes discourse about her fic, so yeah.
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I should have specified that as about pregnant-with-Nathan's-kid. There are, of course, other possibilities for team pregnant!June (which Ashley could also sell me on).
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Templeofshame wrote: Sun Jan 07, 2018 1:34 am I'm just gonna pretend y'all know me and jump in on today's DTU chapter.
This chapter feels like a real shift to me. Not that I think the darkest is necessarily behind us yet, but since we recently had Phil more or less blaming Dan and continuing to avoid his own agency, it's a pretty big deal to see him getting real with himself and June and taking responsibility for things. (Of course, he's still not making real efforts to talk to Dan, but maybe now that he's figured out what he wants, he will.) It's interesting how both Dan and Phil are more present and engaged in their relationships post-kiss, and the different directions that that goes. It's also a shift in that it goes for the jugular on the exposition we've been dancing around.

Exposition-wise, we've got a lot of gaps in the story filled in. Phil seems more self-aware than I might have expected; the sort of internalized homophobia thing reminds me a bit of adorkablephil's Happily Ever After, and I was surprised to see him understanding and owning up to it. Since the Dan & June chapter I've been wondering what she knew, or thought she knew, and it's less than I maybe thought. I might have to revisit the apology scene; knowing that she thought they might actually be sleeping together in the present should give it a bunch of new layers. It also makes me wonder how long June would have just gone on, not talking about what she knew, and the clear problems, because if they got real with each other, their marriage would fall apart. June might be my favorite character (besides Teddy, I'm a Teddy fan) in this fic but it's a lot to wrap my head around with her. (My read is that her response to the idea of counseling is basically 'are you kidding? if we talk honestly our marriage is gonna fall apart, not be fixed.') Like, it really sucks to be June, and it's a sad way to build a life, but I've been (and still am) pretty pissed at Phil for acting like he has no agency and ignoring problems while June has kind of been doing the same thing. I'm gearing up to forgive Phil and get behind him more, seeing as a happy ending's gonna need that, but I do feel a little weird about how -- while I'm glad Phil wants to make things easy for June -- he doesn't seem that bothered about his kids blaming him for the divorce or how the whole thing's gonna affect them. I don't have experience with divorced parents or marriage, and I totally support the idea that people shouldn't subvert their own happiness to the idea that staying together is better for the kids (and that unhappy marriages probably aren't wonderful for kids either) but I do wonder about where that leaves Phil's relationship with his kids (Teddy!) and how they're gonna deal. I don't know about this Dan's-house-next-door situation...

(I wrote this before I saw the previous post; I really liked how the not-everyone's-in-love-with-their-best-friend thing went, so I am not sure that I'm team pregnant!June, but I'm sure if that's where it's going Ashley could sell me on it.)
Sorry I went off there, I'm trying to figure out how best to do this talking about fic thing. And I've been led to believe Ashley likes discourse about her fic, so yeah.
Hi and :welcome:! I enjoyed your detailed analysis.

There was definitely a lot going on in this chapter. It was good to get more of the backstory filled in. I remain a little unconvinced of why exactly Phil thought marriage was the right option--but even more why June did! Surely when someone ghosts you that's not a good sign. I guess part of her motivation is her parents disowning her, but surely she could have had other options to consider--Phil was such a tiny part of her life that she probably had other people to turn to. All three of them tacitly agreed to blunder into this situation and pretend it wasn't a ticking time bomb.

Of course, they did all have their love of Teddy to hold them together for awhile. Which makes it poignant that Teddy is the one who starts, or foreshadows, the unraveling. I have to think that Dan was such a caretaker of Teddy when he was an infant that the rejection must have really hurt.

And yeah, Phil was way too blithe about getting divorced, but I think that's how most people are when they decide to get divorced.
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LeftHandedism wrote: Sun Jan 07, 2018 3:04 am
Templeofshame wrote: Sun Jan 07, 2018 1:34 am I'm just gonna pretend y'all know me and jump in on today's DTU chapter.
This chapter feels like a real shift to me. Not that I think the darkest is necessarily behind us yet, but since we recently had Phil more or less blaming Dan and continuing to avoid his own agency, it's a pretty big deal to see him getting real with himself and June and taking responsibility for things. (Of course, he's still not making real efforts to talk to Dan, but maybe now that he's figured out what he wants, he will.) It's interesting how both Dan and Phil are more present and engaged in their relationships post-kiss, and the different directions that that goes. It's also a shift in that it goes for the jugular on the exposition we've been dancing around.

Exposition-wise, we've got a lot of gaps in the story filled in. Phil seems more self-aware than I might have expected; the sort of internalized homophobia thing reminds me a bit of adorkablephil's Happily Ever After, and I was surprised to see him understanding and owning up to it. Since the Dan & June chapter I've been wondering what she knew, or thought she knew, and it's less than I maybe thought. I might have to revisit the apology scene; knowing that she thought they might actually be sleeping together in the present should give it a bunch of new layers. It also makes me wonder how long June would have just gone on, not talking about what she knew, and the clear problems, because if they got real with each other, their marriage would fall apart. June might be my favorite character (besides Teddy, I'm a Teddy fan) in this fic but it's a lot to wrap my head around with her. (My read is that her response to the idea of counseling is basically 'are you kidding? if we talk honestly our marriage is gonna fall apart, not be fixed.') Like, it really sucks to be June, and it's a sad way to build a life, but I've been (and still am) pretty pissed at Phil for acting like he has no agency and ignoring problems while June has kind of been doing the same thing. I'm gearing up to forgive Phil and get behind him more, seeing as a happy ending's gonna need that, but I do feel a little weird about how -- while I'm glad Phil wants to make things easy for June -- he doesn't seem that bothered about his kids blaming him for the divorce or how the whole thing's gonna affect them. I don't have experience with divorced parents or marriage, and I totally support the idea that people shouldn't subvert their own happiness to the idea that staying together is better for the kids (and that unhappy marriages probably aren't wonderful for kids either) but I do wonder about where that leaves Phil's relationship with his kids (Teddy!) and how they're gonna deal. I don't know about this Dan's-house-next-door situation...

(I wrote this before I saw the previous post; I really liked how the not-everyone's-in-love-with-their-best-friend thing went, so I am not sure that I'm team pregnant!June, but I'm sure if that's where it's going Ashley could sell me on it.)
Sorry I went off there, I'm trying to figure out how best to do this talking about fic thing. And I've been led to believe Ashley likes discourse about her fic, so yeah.
Hi and :welcome:! I enjoyed your detailed analysis.

There was definitely a lot going on in this chapter. It was good to get more of the backstory filled in. I remain a little unconvinced of why exactly Phil thought marriage was the right option--but even more why June did! Surely when someone ghosts you that's not a good sign. I guess part of her motivation is her parents disowning her, but surely she could have had other options to consider--Phil was such a tiny part of her life that she probably had other people to turn to. All three of them tacitly agreed to blunder into this situation and pretend it wasn't a ticking time bomb.

Of course, they did all have their love of Teddy to hold them together for awhile. Which makes it poignant that Teddy is the one who starts, or foreshadows, the unraveling. I have to think that Dan was such a caretaker of Teddy when he was an infant that the rejection must have really hurt.

And yeah, Phil was way too blithe about getting divorced, but I think that's how most people are when they decide to get divorced.
i really, really love both of your posts about that last chapter!

Templeofshame i also share your curiosity about what June knows about dan, and i'm leaning towards her knowing about the romantic side of their relationship and then "ruining it" for them by coming into their lives. of course it's not as black and white as that, and i genuinely feel sorry for her (and oh man, i forgot to include this in my post earlier, but i am really pissed at phil for lying to her for over 10 years and generally not thinking about the long run), but i think there was a section where it was stated that dan and June didn't get along at first, but it doesn't go into much detail past that. not sure how relevant that is to this situation but maybe it'll come back later?

in regards to the bit i put in bold above, i'm so glad you pointed that out because while we really don't see Teddy much, or even get to know him past the surface level, he plays such an important role as a catalyst.
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AroboticPhil wrote: Sat Jan 06, 2018 4:29 pm
kindofatrashcan wrote: Fri Jan 05, 2018 12:18 pm By the way, i started something that one of you recommended (sorry i'm in my phone so i can't find your name!!) L'Histoire Française and IT'S AMAZING!! That sexual tension tho.... :stan:
I think that might have been me and yay ! :)
ikr I'm loving it! fic spoiler :
guess John told Phil they couldn't date... he is such a cockblock in this story i hate him shhsgs. I can't wait for them to have some sort of Talk about their relationship tho !!)
Oh yeah! I was you!! Thank you thank you it's amazing. And yeah, i want to see how they are going to talk about what John said to Phil.

About that DTU chapter... i kind of... not like Phil? It seems to me like he never cared for anything, like.. parenthood for example, June did all the work because phil was always in this automatic pilot state and he helped but from a distant place... i always felt like this with Phil in this fic. And i don't want to judge him, but why was he trying to 'fix' their marriage?? I mean i'm with june in this, after years of the same indiference from your partner, at this point it's a thing of self love... besides that i never thought that is the best thing to do to be together 'for the sake of the children' .
Now i want to see how Dan reacted to Roger and how he is going to take all this infomation about Phil's relationship.


Oh! And also, it broke my heart the knowledge that D&P were forming a realationship when June appared with the positive pregnant test.
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Newest AMAAF chapter

They are going north! I'm so happy! When Dan started crying because Phil is such a good friend broke my heart. Also the character development of Dan's roommates is also just 👌👌👌👌
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MythicalPinkTrashCan wrote: Mon Jan 08, 2018 4:27 pm Newest AMAAF chapter

They are going north! I'm so happy! When Dan started crying because Phil is such a good friend broke my heart. Also the character development of Dan's roommates is also just 👌👌👌👌
What a nice chapter, I'm pleased Dan is feeling a bit better and it was lovely to read how happy the suggestion of going to visit Phil's family seemed to make him. I'm so excited about the 'up north' chapters! I'm sure they're going to be super-cosy :love2: . This fic continues to be an absolute delight.
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this latest amaaf chapter is literally making my heart ache with joy. i sense some video creation in the future, which is somehow equally sweet to me as all the comfort and caretaking?? maybe because it's almost a way of dan reciprocating, caring for phil by nudging him back into filming. excited for their trip to the north lands - do you think the lesters will pick up on the fact that dan's not exactly just a friend?

on dtu: i read a couple chapters in and then realised from seeing you guys discussing that it's not going to be a happy fic, at least not yet. i like the premise, it feels true and realistic, but i think i'm gonna wait it out until it's done. just wanted to say that DTU is obviously well-written, and that i'm glad i had warning before i got too invested to stop (for now).
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Amaaf:
I see so many anons being like 'omg when will they kiss???' and yeah, I'll be ready for it when it comes, but I'm not in a rush. There are so many types of intimacy happening and every chapter takes at least one somewhere new. I haven't been thinking too much about where the career thread is going, and I guess Dan hasn't really shown any interest in making videos of his own so I don't know that Youtube is necessarily the destination there. I imagine whatever it is, it won't solve my life problems, but if it did I'd be annoyed with Sarah for holding out on me with all the answers. I hadn't really thought about the filming as a parallel, but it's definitely clear that they're both supporting each other as best they know how. Dan's not gonna let this be a story of Phil just taking care of him.
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Templeofshame wrote: Mon Jan 08, 2018 6:07 pm Amaaf:
I see so many anons being like 'omg when will they kiss???' and yeah, I'll be ready for it when it comes, but I'm not in a rush. There are so many types of intimacy happening and every chapter takes at least one somewhere new. I haven't been thinking too much about where the career thread is going, and I guess Dan hasn't really shown any interest in making videos of his own so I don't know that Youtube is necessarily the destination there. I imagine whatever it is, it won't solve my life problems, but if it did I'd be annoyed with Sarah for holding out on me with all the answers. I hadn't really thought about the filming as a parallel, but it's definitely clear that they're both supporting each other as best they know how. Dan's not gonna let this be a story of Phil just taking care of him.
I almost don't want them to kiss? I am deep in the pit of this will-they-wont-they softness. I know once they do kiss, it will be beautiful and perfect, but also I love the intimacy they have developed between themselves.
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Part of the beauty of this fic is how well Sarah demonstrates how intimacy can grow without it having to be physical, or explicitly romantic/sexual in nature. We've gotten to a point where we know (and they know) where it's headed but there's still so much ground to cover just between people that doesn't involve kissing... that will make the kisses (and more) so good when they come. The best thing is how none of this self-discovery and discovery of each other ever feels repetitive; it's always a step forward, not just more of the same. It also just feels very real to how relationships, especially queer ones where you have to feel out things without knowing if it's really okay to say them out loud to begin with, develop.
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This chapter was so soft and sweet, it warmed my heart :love2:
And yes, I agree with you guys ! I think it truly got to me how incredibly well written/paced this fic was, when 2-3 chapters ago I stopped reading and realised that D&P somehow were in a relationship already, they just hadn't kissed yet -but they both knew and we knew and I didn't even see it happen because it did so gradually and realistically. :stan:
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I have so many complex feelings about the new DTU chapter that I kinda don't want to just dump them all here like... I'm kind of mad at myself for letting Roger off the hook as much as I am, and Dan being a good person and losing everything and just... I'll come back when someone's said something but it's gonna be a tough road to me forgiving Phil.

I agree so hard with everyone on amaaf though!
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Templeofshame wrote: Mon Jan 08, 2018 7:05 pm I have so many complex feelings about the new DTU chapter that I kinda don't want to just dump them all here like... I'm kind of mad at myself for letting Roger off the hook as much as I am, and Dan being a good person and losing everything and just... I'll come back when someone's said something but it's gonna be a tough road to me forgiving Phil.

I agree so hard with everyone on amaaf though!
Welcome to the 'we are kind of mad with Phil' club. Apart from that i loved dan in this chapter... that 'listen to yourself' was, for me, the biggest love gesture that dan has made. It broke my heart.

On a.. more heartwarming note... amaaf
:happytears: i loved the little details like Phil being the big spoon this time. I'm happy but also wary for the trip to the north. I know that it's going to be fine, but... :shrug:
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kavat
pastel persona
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Amaaf:
I can't believe we've got 28 chapters of pure fluff and they're not even together yet. I feel so blessed. It's not even will-they-won't they at this point, it's just they-will-but-not-yet and I love it. Maybe they'll film the Christmas adventure while up north? That would be adorable.

Dtu:
Oh god my heart is in pieces. The "Listen to yourself"-line felt like a point of no return for both of them. I like Roger so much but he deserves someone who's in it 100%. Same with June. I can't wait for the next chapter.
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sparkle
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kavat wrote: Mon Jan 08, 2018 8:42 pm Amaaf:
I can't believe we've got 28 chapters of pure fluff and they're not even together yet. I feel so blessed. It's not even will-they-won't they at this point, it's just they-will-but-not-yet and I love it. Maybe they'll film the Christmas adventure while up north? That would be adorable.
:dead:
:sparkle: dan howell gives me life :sparkle:
don't waste your time
or time will waste you
:sparkle:
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