Dan & Phil Part 66: Rainbow Nerds

Our two favourite full time internet nerds who never go outside!
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whatdoiknow
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Re: Dan & Phil Part 66: Rainbow Nerds

Post by whatdoiknow » Sun Mar 04, 2018 5:40 am

KatjaZoe wrote:
Sun Mar 04, 2018 5:22 am
Okay I really and truly loved this vid. I love deep discussions on mental health. I love Dan <3
ANYWAYS I see some people calling it boring, and i can actually see how some would feel that way. His writing for this video was pretty dense in my opinion, kind of like meme-ing of like vid (as others have said). However, where the meme video just kind of had me going "lolwatDan" and moving on, I actually want to spend some time rewatching and unpacking this video.

Dan never fails to be endlessly relatable to me. I literally made basically the exact same New Years resolution, and also realized afterwards that it was maybe a little too vague and big, but I'm still working on it anyways lol.

As some who is not-so-confident that dan and phil are together, this vid did originally give me "Dan has a bf" vibes -- mostly because if he was out here having random hook-ups, someone would have posted about it online by now, and you know the phandom would have found that shit and freaked out. (Unless as someone said he's having people sign NDAs before they have sex. Which i mean, i would sign it tbh :lol: )However, I do think its more possible that he is dating someone and trusts him not to put their relationship out there before he's ready, and that doesn't necessarily have to be Phil imo. Anyway, to answer your question after a bunch of rambling, there was that "senpai" that Dan went on a walk with a few months back, that he specifically confirmed was Not Phil. Not that we have any idea exactly who that senpai was, but its a possibility in my mind.
I agree with most of this post, except for the last part. I'm also someone who has not always been 100% sure deppy are together, but the more that happens, the more the bigger picture points to yes they are together. I do think with the sex mentions in the video it makes it pretty clear that dan is having sex on a fairly regular basis. I also doubt they could be random hookups because I think that would like get out somehow; it basically leaves phil as the only really logical option, because I don't see how Dan could have a different long term boyfriend (or girlfriend). I'm curious why you think Dan might be dating someone else. It's a valid point, but I do wonder how the vacations, family visits, etc could be explained - I would think a long-term partner would join those types of things (maybe not every time, but at least sometimes). I just don't see how it's possible either of them could be in a relationship with someone else from what we do know about their lives, but I'm curious what you think about that.



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Re: Dan & Phil Part 66: Rainbow Nerds

Post by sonicgreen » Sun Mar 04, 2018 5:40 am

whatdoiknow wrote:
Sun Mar 04, 2018 4:33 am
alittledizzy wrote:
Sun Mar 04, 2018 4:01 am
Interesting. Though we know they wear makeup for videos (or they have in the past at least), so it's not that surprising that they have makeup wipes.
I noticed this too! I also believe they've done bits of makeup before, but just btw these wipes make really great face cleaners. I don't often wear makeup and these are my daily go-to for my oily skin (post-face wash). Boys please, leak the skin care routine how do you always look so good?
im sorry if this makes no sense, its late, someone confiscate my laptop
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Re: Dan & Phil Part 66: Rainbow Nerds

Post by sapienveneficus » Sun Mar 04, 2018 6:16 am

Okay, I've read through everyone's reactions, and it looks like I'm in the same boat with a lot of you after having watched Dan's latest video. In short, I feel shook. (Did I use that correctly, fellow youngsters? Insert gif of Steve Buscemi wearing a snapback here) I know some people have been reacting to some of the things Dan shared in a nonchalant way, and I do get that. This video certainly wasn't the first time Dan's alluded to or straight up mentioned male attraction. But I would argue that the way he talked about sex in this video was different, and that alone is reason enough to feel all the feelings after having seen it. (Again, did I do that right?)

In the past, Dan's mentioned that he finds guys attractive, he's talked about consuming gay media (drag race, Yuri on Ice, and whatnot), and he's voiced support for out celebs (most recently Adam Rippon and Gus Kenworthy during the Winter Olympics). All of these actions, while they certainly distance him from the 2012 version of himself, could easily be interpreted as the actions of a single-pringle, bi-curious guy who's down for the cause, but also home alone masturbating and eating pizza. (Dan's words, not mine)But in this video, Dan made it clear that he was down for, well, getting down with dudes, and that he's doing so on the regular. That admission is both new and different. Now whether you believe that the dude on the receiving end of Dan's affections is Phil, or you imagine that he and Phil have some sort of elaborate, hidden tunnel system worked out so that a parade of guys can sneak in and out of their apartment at all hours of the day and night (because lord knows Danny ain't going outside), it cannot be denied that Dan is actively having sex with men. Something he's never discussed in a concrete way before. I consider that to be a big step on his part. It's not a coming out, per se, but it's a choice to be more open about himself than he has ever been before.

I attempted to keep my video reaction as neutral as possible, but now, putting on my demon goggles for a second :phangoggles2: , I want to share that I too believe this is the year Dan and Phil will come out as a couple. It won't be in the way other couples on YouTube have done it, no big spectacles for these two, but I think that two forces are working behind the scenes to make this inevitable. First, both Dan and Phil have been maturing their content as they've aged up their on-camera personas. Part of that maturation, has been a greater degree of authenticity. Now, granted, this has been more Dan than Phil, but Phil's made great strides of his own. I think he's pretty much kicked his innocent, angel bean image, which is certainly a step in the right direction. Second, I just don't think they can keep their relationship a secret indefinitely.

Now, like I said, I don't see them ever doing something cheesy like a joint coming out video, with them sat on a couch crying. No, they'll do something uber subtle. Maybe they'll let Cornelia include a pic of them kissing in a series of photos she posts to Instagram. Whatever the method, my prediction is that by the end of 2018, they'll have confirmed their relationship.
"Someone, somewhere is into that." Daniel Howell

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Re: Dan & Phil Part 66: Rainbow Nerds

Post by alien » Sun Mar 04, 2018 6:23 am

sapienveneficus wrote:
Sun Mar 04, 2018 6:16 am


Now, like I said, I don't see them ever doing something cheesy like a joint coming out video, with them sat on a couch crying. No, they'll do something uber subtle. Maybe they'll let Cornelia include a pic of them kissing in a series of photos she posts to Instagram. Whatever the method, my prediction is that by the end of 2018, they'll have confirmed their relationship.
I think it's possible but I don't think it's possible until after the tour is over. And I agree I can't imagine them doing a sit down video about it but I could see a tweet from one of them that's not super overt but gets the point across. Or honestly I see them just continuing what they're doing, hiding less and less, editing less and less, but never actually confirming one way or another.

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Re: Dan & Phil Part 66: Rainbow Nerds

Post by ratlad » Sun Mar 04, 2018 6:43 am

@KatjaZoe I'm pretty sure the "senpai" was Wirrow because he tweeted about wanting to go on a walk a few days before Dan mentioned it.
also, nobody but Phil comes to mind, he's basically exposed to us accidentally that they sleep in the same room
(posted a pic of Dan's floor in June, calling it "his room" despite "Phil's room" having white tiles similar to the gaming room, which i believe are connected!)

there's just.... such a much bigger picture that people keep forgetting?? he and Phil probably made a mutual decision to make their relationship more public because it really sucks to not act like your true self in your career.
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Re: Dan & Phil Part 66: Rainbow Nerds

Post by kindofatrashcan » Sun Mar 04, 2018 7:21 am

So, i'm sorry but i'm drunk so, the obly thing that my mind took from that video what Thimotèe Chalamet and blowjobs

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Re: Dan & Phil Part 66: Rainbow Nerds

Post by so_cheesy » Sun Mar 04, 2018 7:35 am

Dan: *is living his life together with his best friend of 8 years, is very private about his possible relationships/sex life*

People: tHeY’re SeCREtLY ToGeTHer LoOK Phan PrOoF AwW sOfT boYeS hEarT eYEs hOWeLL LoVe EyEs lEsTeR UwU wHeN wiLl tHeY cOMe oUt PHAN phan PHAN phan PHAN phaaaaaan

Dan: I need to live my truth and be authentic. I won’t be happy pretending I’m someone else. I don’t know how to do that but for starters, I suck dick. Also let me live pls.

People: Such A Hilarious Joke Just Like All Those Other Hints (Jokes) You’ve Been Dropping The Past Two Years. What Could This Possibly Mean ? I Demand An Official Statement.

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Re: Dan & Phil Part 66: Rainbow Nerds

Post by LtrllySusan » Sun Mar 04, 2018 7:43 am

An interesting thought that I had – I wonder how much this video and the not-subtle sex(uality) mention is related to having to privatise the Tinder video.

To some, the Tinder video was a very subtle coming out since it featured both male and female names, while others saw that as a simple decision to get more replies and make a more entertaining video.
Now that Dan's release a video that is so much more straight forward, I wonder if he thought he would do his subtle "coming out" with the Tinder video – maybe even why he agreed to the very unusual spon. But people were discussing whether that video was even a confirmation of bi/pansexuality, and he was forced to take it down.

Dan seems to have a very strong idea of his public image (as discussed some pages ago, he deletes tweets to make his page look nicer), and after removing the Tinder video, there were no recent hints for the casual viewers regarding his sexuality.

Anyways I just woke up and I'm typing on my phone and I am not sure if this makes sense, but let me know if someone can make sense of it!


Oh, and they must have makeup wipes because they get lots of makeup at photoshoots and probably other filmed appearances. I've seen makeup that is done for filmed production, and wow, the MUAs don't hold back. Enjoy removing that cake without proper products.
Also wouldn't be surprised if they used matte powder on a regular basis for their vids.

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Re: Dan & Phil Part 66: Rainbow Nerds

Post by thatone » Sun Mar 04, 2018 8:19 am

LtrllySusan wrote:
Sun Mar 04, 2018 7:43 am
An interesting thought that I had – I wonder how much this video and the not-subtle sex(uality) mention is related to having to privatise the Tinder video.

To some, the Tinder video was a very subtle coming out since it featured both male and female names, while others saw that as a simple decision to get more replies and make a more entertaining video.
Now that Dan's release a video that is so much more straight forward, I wonder if he thought he would do his subtle "coming out" with the Tinder video – maybe even why he agreed to the very unusual spon. But people were discussing whether that video was even a confirmation of bi/pansexuality, and he was forced to take it down.

Dan seems to have a very strong idea of his public image (as discussed some pages ago, he deletes tweets to make his page look nicer), and after removing the Tinder video, there were no recent hints for the casual viewers regarding his sexuality.

Anyways I just woke up and I'm typing on my phone and I am not sure if this makes sense, but let me know if someone can make sense of it!


Oh, and they must have makeup wipes because they get lots of makeup at photoshoots and probably other filmed appearances. I've seen makeup that is done for filmed production, and wow, the MUAs don't hold back. Enjoy removing that cake without proper products.
Also wouldn't be surprised if they used matte powder on a regular basis for their vids.
It might be too subtle (and I might have misunderstood as well) but what came to mind as being strong "recent" hints towards having experience with guys, was in ISG 9. Someone was having boy trouble and said that it would be nice to get advice from an experienced boy like Dan or something. And he responds with "You can interpret that in a bunch of different ways, and, frankly, all of them would be true". but idk

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Re: Dan & Phil Part 66: Rainbow Nerds

Post by LadyLackless » Sun Mar 04, 2018 9:30 am

alittledizzy wrote:
Sun Mar 04, 2018 4:01 am
Make up wipes???? Someone get these boys a proper skincare routine! Caroline Hirons collab? :D

Seriously tho, I enjoyed this video. I don’t have a lot to add, as I couldn’t watch until this morning and everyone has basically already covered my reaction (4 pages of discussion, IDB you did not disappoint :)) but I wanted to say that I appreciate Dan being open about where he is in his life and attempting to use his platform to do good. :love1:

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So... about the new video (+18!)

Post by philtrash#1 » Sun Mar 04, 2018 9:41 am

Hi, I'm new here!

I've been searching for a d&p forum/thread where I could talk with the phandom cause non of my friends watch dan and phil for a while now. The danisnotonfire reddit seems dead so I hope this is the right place :)?

So..
As you all propably know, Dan mentioned sex twice in his last video. I was a bit shocked and confused at first because he never spoke about it in a non jokey way. I mean never did he say for example that he likes sex. Or that he enjoys stuff put in his mouth (eeee?).

So I know this might be a little too personal to talk about but what is your opinion on this?

Like if he lives with Phil, how does that work? Do you think he has a girlfirend that he hides from us? Or that random girls on tinder come to his apartment (I doubt it)?

I know 90% of the fandom would love it if it turned out to be Phil after all (me too) but after all those years of Dan denying it and getting angry about it I have no other choice but to believe it's not the case. So... like how does this work? Do you think Dan has casual sex with strangers? Or someone he knows with whom he just messes around?

I just can't imagine how must that work with the constant "I don't leave my house" persona + living with Phil + being generally awkward.

I hope this thread isn't too much.

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Re: Dan & Phil Part 66: Rainbow Nerds

Post by Phantasy » Sun Mar 04, 2018 10:25 am

Dan’s video summed up in a gif...
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Re: Dan & Phil Part 66: Rainbow Nerds

Post by ahriem » Sun Mar 04, 2018 12:03 pm

sapienveneficus wrote:
Sun Mar 04, 2018 6:16 am
Now whether you believe that the dude on the receiving end of Dan's affections is Phil, or you imagine that he and Phil have some sort of elaborate, hidden tunnel system worked out so that a parade of guys can sneak in and out of their apartment at all hours of the day and night (because lord knows Danny ain't going outside), it cannot be denied that Dan is actively having sex with men.
this is my favourite comment so far, the idea of a hidden, elaborate set of tunnels used only for these random guys is hilarious. could be a good setup for an rpg.

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Re: Dan & Phil Part 66: Rainbow Nerds

Post by hello9217 » Sun Mar 04, 2018 12:52 pm

I don't really think that at this point if you don't believe they are in a relationship then you probably never will until they explicitly say it. I mean people can believe what ever you want to and we both have reasons but I don't think it's entirely crazy to think that the guy that he enjoys sucking off is Phil.

Lets say he's talking about a long-term boyfriend for a sec; is he okay that dan went on vacation with bryony, wirrow and Phil without him? Ok maybe he was on the trip but they were lucky and no one saw him. Is he okay that four days before Christmas he went up to Isle of Man with Phil's family for a couple days? Maybe it's just a big coincidence and his family also lives on the Isle of Man. Maybe Dan just met this dude a month ago so it's a new relationship. So in that case is he okay that Dan spent his Valentines Day with Phil, Martyn, and Cornelia. Well hey that was a lunch right for Cornelia's bday; maybe they went out for dinner and no one saw them. I really hope he's okay with the fact Dan's going to be gone for 6 months with Phil. Maybe he can go and hope that no fan sees them in all the places they are going to meet fans. Definitely a strong possibility...

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Re: Dan & Phil Part 66: Rainbow Nerds

Post by autumnhearth » Sun Mar 04, 2018 12:55 pm

I was out all day yesterday, but received the notification on my phone while I was sat in a high school gymnasium watching kids run around and teenagers, including a guy wearing a flower crown, sat in little circles. When I saw the title, I knew I had to come here and read the reactions, then check out Tumblr, half shielding my phone from the other parents and restrain my urge to go up to said teenagers and ask if they had heard. So by the time I got home, got my son to bed and my husband to stop playing Skyrim, I think all the shock had worn off and I was able to focus on the overall message of the video, maybe. I probably need to watch it again.

My unique takeaway: Dan hung that lightbulb lamp and I’m not sure how I feel about it. Also that shirt from this summer is looking a bit baggy on him. Yeah, definitely need to rewatch the vid. My husband continues to not like (most) dinof videos (he likes the storytimes) and was happy to finally watch them play Fortnite, declaring “this is the Dan I like, he’s with Phil, so he’s better.” which got me thinking about Dan reflecting last year if he was funny/entertaining by himself. Was that in a liveshow? Maybe at the beginning of the year? Time to look at some timestamps. For the record I think he is entertaining on his own and I am proud of him.

(Also watched PJ’s Japan video, which while totally beautiful cinematography wise, was kinda ruined for me when Felix popped up in it and continued to do so. Just thought I might mention it for anyone who was considering watching and didn’t know that the two couples went together. Sigh.)

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Re: Dan & Phil Part 66: Rainbow Nerds

Post by flarequake » Sun Mar 04, 2018 1:01 pm

Ooh, Caroline Hirons is a good discovery, thank you! I like her style. I don't watch beauty vloggers, but I might change that since I haven't kept up with all that expensive stuff for years, I've got room for more amongst my many artists.

Love your post, so_cheesy.

If they're gonna use any skin care product, Simple seems a good starting point. Great brand for sensitive skin, I hear, too.

The hidden tunnels idea is hilarious. Randomly reminds me of making Strega-Schloss (the Strega-Borgia's of the Pure Dead Magic books') house in the Sims and giving it some passageways that they never used cos Sims don't think like that.

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Re: Dan & Phil Part 66: Rainbow Nerds

Post by phandoe » Sun Mar 04, 2018 1:34 pm

ok so that video was a LOT yet not even 10 minutes long but the discourse has been real. i've discussed the sexuality and phan thing with some people im friends with on twitter, however it seems like the IG phandom isnt having it lol. i dont get how theres still people calling dan straight?? like okay i can see someone still not believing that dan and phil are together but c'mon lol. idk how to link a tumblr post on here so it just shows the post (idk if that is a thing?), is there a way to do that without having to copy and paste? i posted this on my tumblr and also wanted to share it here, but the tags that i used are also v relevant:

"i think what’s more problematic than “labeling” dan is refusing to accept him and see him as he is. this idea that there is a right way to come out is problematic. he’s a 26 year old man who describes himself as “sexually ambiguous”, expresses sexual attraction towards other men, expresses the inability to put his sexuality in a “box”, flirted with men in his tinder ad video, referenced having experience with “boy troubles” in ISG9, and has now very clearly stated that he is not only having a sexual relationship with someone on the regular but a sexual relationship with a man and YET

there are still people in this fandom who refuse to accept that, who deny his literal truth and will continue to do so until he “comes out” in a way that they believe is valid and acceptable.

i don’t think these people are being supportive, i think they’re doing the opposite of that. you are not letting him live a happy life if you continue to tell him that the person he is, isn’t real. if he doesn’t express his sexuality in the way that you want him to, whether it’s making some kind of official statement or a “coming out” video or fitting a certain stereotype, it must mean he shouldn’t be taken seriously. this doesn’t encourage anyone to be more honest, it pushes them to be less of who they are because apparently who they are is not enough." /endrant lol

i guess you can check out the actual post here:
Last edited by lefthandedism on Sun Mar 04, 2018 4:29 pm, edited 1 time in total.
Reason: fixed tumblr embedding

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Re: Dan & Phil Part 66: Rainbow Nerds

Post by sparkle » Sun Mar 04, 2018 1:44 pm

this video has done the thing that the depression video did where it won't get out of my head. I've done an entire 8 hour shift since it was uploaded and have barely managed to not burst out laughing every five minutes thinking about it. (that might also be the 2 and a half hours of sleep I've had in the last 24 talking but whatever).

I would also like to submit my theory that if the owner of the penis that Dan is referring to ISN'T Phil (or Dan is super flexible and its his own) then is it possible that Dan has a helipad on the roof where people SAS style swoop in?

also if anyone tries to argue that Dan still needs to 'come out' I honestly despair. (insert rant about heteronormativity, societal norms, and why its all such bullshit here - its all a social construct ugh)

And i'm genuinely not shocked Dan has been thinking about going back to uni. I'd like to see him be more educated on Sociology or Philosophy or Politics, it'd be interesting.

(also please someone correct me but I dont think Simple is cruelty free and i'm kind of devastated if thats the case)
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Re: Dan & Phil Part 66: Rainbow Nerds

Post by phandoe » Sun Mar 04, 2018 1:50 pm

sparkle wrote:
Sun Mar 04, 2018 1:44 pm
this video has done the thing that the depression video did where it won't get out of my head. I've done an entire 8 hour shift since it was uploaded and have barely managed to not burst out laughing every five minutes thinking about it. (that might also be the 2 and a half hours of sleep I've had in the last 24 talking but whatever).

I would also like to submit my theory that if the owner of the penis that Dan is referring to ISN'T Phil (or Dan is super flexible and its his own) then is it possible that Dan has a helipad on the roof where people SAS style swoop in?

also if anyone tries to argue that Dan still needs to 'come out' I honestly despair. (insert rant about heteronormativity, societal norms, and why its all such bullshit here - its all a social construct ugh)

And i'm genuinely not shocked Dan has been thinking about going back to uni. I'd like to see him be more educated on Sociology or Philosophy or Politics, it'd be interesting.

(also please someone correct me but I dont think Simple is cruelty free and i'm kind of devastated if thats the case)
a quick google search showed me that it is indeed cruelty free but is just lacking the label/certification so they technically can't call themselves that. & regarding the rest of your post, im right there with you in full agreement lol.

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Re: Dan & Phil Part 66: Rainbow Nerds

Post by vincentian » Sun Mar 04, 2018 1:56 pm

I agree with many things said before on the Dan's video, especially these:
000dia000 wrote:
Sat Mar 03, 2018 10:07 pm
The fact the video is only around six minutes really feels like that this isn't an "entertainment" video. Despite all the jokes and skits, it didn't really feel like something he was trying to make entertaining, but something he really wanted to get out there.
LtrllySusan wrote:
Sat Mar 03, 2018 9:29 pm
It was very vague and honestly felt more like a video that Dan made for himself than for other people. He spoke in the form of "you should", but it felt more like a "I want to".
alittledizzy wrote:
Sat Mar 03, 2018 11:36 pm
I am paraphrasing myself from tumblr, but this video was the equivalent of the kind of venting you do at three am when there's only one person around and you want to get things off your chest but you don't actually want them to know anything about you.
I am a bit surprised at such intense big reaction to this video. I have many questions, mainly is Dan possibly feeling trapped by the circumstances which is necessity to focus on tour for the next half a year and put aside other things. My 2 cents is that I don't necessarily relate to what Dan says in the video, but I guess, as Phil said, if one person is helped out or comforted, it was worth it etc. etc.

I take this video as Dan dumping what was on his mind at the time, however vaguely and without structure. Still, my criticism would be that he contradicts himself a few times and gives no actual advice. While he is free to do that, it feels like this video is more cathartic for him, than actually useful for the viewers.
SHITiveHITtheFANdom wrote:
Sun Mar 04, 2018 3:05 am
Okay, sorry I'm posting twice but NO ONE IS MENTIONING THE MAGNETS. Come on, I can't be the only one who noticed!
Hourglass+Arrow+Dan+Phil.
The message to me is obvious. You cannot tell me that's random - not with Serious Film Maker Mr. Daniel Howell, who deliberately filmed that spot with those props.
Conspiracy theorists, where you at? :sherlock: :illuminati:
I totally wouldn't put it past Dan to hide an Easter egg like this, I think it's a valid theory. (Can't recall if we saw those magnets before. If they have them there all the time tho, the positioning is probably accidental haha.)
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Re: Dan & Phil Part 66: Rainbow Nerds

Post by phillyforgot » Sun Mar 04, 2018 2:36 pm

I'm glad Dan's trying to live his truth and I wholeheartedly support him in getting better. :love1: I'd attempt to find my own truth as well, but I have so idea what I want in life so that seems to be pretty complicated.

As people are talking about it everywhere (seriously, my Tumblr feed is pretty much filled with it), I'll mention the implications that Dan made in the recent video. I'd love to hear some more sexuality-related comments from his, but I don't know if he'll give any, especially as he doesn't like to be labelled. I'm glad he's trying to be more open about these kinds of issues, anyway. :prideflag: :respekt2:

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Re: Dan & Phil Part 66: Rainbow Nerds

Post by fancybum » Sun Mar 04, 2018 2:37 pm

alittledizzy wrote:
Sat Mar 03, 2018 11:36 pm
This is a response to too many individual people for me to quote (though I'm really loving the reactions here, and might go back and reply to some individually later).

I definitely disagree with this being a "coming out" on grounds of not thinking that anyone should need one definitive coming out in order to be seen as not straight when they are obviously not straight. That said; yeah, to me, the highlight of this video was Dan's comfort and subsequent analysis of Dan's comfort because the rest of the video was just... meh. Boring. I am paraphrasing myself from tumblr, but this video was the equivalent of the kind of venting you do at three am when there's only one person around and you want to get things off your chest but you don't actually want them to know anything about you. We all knew Dan is someone who does a lot of self reflection, is perpetually unsatisfied with where he is in life, and has no idea what he wants out of his future. A lot of us are also pretty comfortable and confident in knowing Dan is not straight and in a committed relationship with Phil, presumably having committed relationship people sex.

The only new piece of information in this video to me is that Dan Howell right now in 2018 is a person who wants to be able to say those things to us and to his casual audience in a main channel video. So to me, that's what's most interesting to see people talk about and react to.
I’m honestly loving Dan’s version of a “rebrand” and the personal journey he’s been putting on display. This video basically was a zazzed up version of a liveshow talking point, but I'm not mad at it. I know a lot of people sometimes express worry or regret about it seeming that all anybody focuses on is phan stuff at the expense of D&P’s Art™, and I occasionally somewhat start to agree but more often just shrug and think there’s no harm in people enjoying what they enjoy and fixating on what they’re drawn to fixate on. Generally. But then we get to these more specific things of Dan doing something that is New for him, which in this specific case is to allude to being in a current sexual (at least) relationship with somebody else. And immediately associating that with Phil and making that the focus (and the Point?) of his entire video, that’s… something else. Obviously I get that his sexuality and relationship are huge things to fans (obviously since.. I am one of them) but all of his strides, the entirety of who he is and what he does constantly being reduced to “so is he 'out' now? can we call it confirmed now? are he and Phil canon now?” just kind of disheartens me in a big way. Like it’s something beyond just happening to enjoy 5 seconds of slowed down eye contact gifs (or more recently: actual physical contact gifs haha) more than the entirety of an otherwise boring gaming video or something, because whatever, that’s just an entertainment preference, who cares. What continues to wear me down here is that people can’t just be. With Dan, everyone is constantly shitting themselves over and over again that this is finally it, maybe we can stridently define aspects of his existence now (still waiting for labels even after he's said he's not into labels....) and he can stop ‘teasing’ and obfuscating (you know, how he does, while just existing in the world as some unsolvable riddle for people who just really like 'cute gay boys' and wouldn’t it be easier if he would just hurry up and identify himself as such for the sake of the collective malignant curiosity?).

And here’s the thing: if he ever chooses to release some kind of OfFiciAL cOmiNg oUT vid at some point, because he wants to and it’s important to him for whatever reason, fuck yeah. Coming out vids are great! For people who desire to make them. But not everybody should be made or expected to feel that desire as a de facto part of existence for (publicly known) people who may not identify as straight and I find any other mindset on that point fucking oppressive. Yet it’s always there, seeping through even the most innocuous posts squeeing about phan, just a constant reminder that people who haven’t yet suitably “announced” themselves are to be looked at always with an undercurrent of suspicion and distrust and expectancy, which is the most exhausting thing of them all, because that's the reminder right there that nothing is ever really enough. There's got to be more, always.

Dan making a video discussing a general desire to live his truth (and being clear that it’s a resolution that he’s kind of forever in the midst of working on) 1. does not mean that the truths he’d like to express and share right now on a public stage are the "truths" parts of his audience are agitatedly waiting for and 2. they may never be

Anyway, he’s in this weird area full of corners where he’s starting to like, widen his little forcefield of personal boundaries to include somebody else and not just relegate what he shares of the more personal and intimate aspects of his existence to only himself, and that's Pretty Neat. This time (ish) two years ago (not last year like I wrote at first, wow time is melting I don't remember 2016 or 2017 how is his diss track so old) he kept it to masturbation alone and pizza (and crying!) and now here we are with oral sex with a partner and pizza (and laughter!). I’m really flipping happy that he’s still finding more ways to be open and comfortable by putting fewer limits on what he feels like he’s “allowed” to share.

rizzo wrote:
Sat Mar 03, 2018 11:31 pm
Now that we know he enjoys regular sex, his next video will feature his relationship preferences: "Monogamy. I'm not a big one night stand or short fling guy. Give me that healthy af long-term relationship."
Like. Genuinely this. Even something like actually drawing from his own personal experiences when answering an ISG question, instead of the vague 'people in relationships should-' saying 'in my relationship experience, [blah blah]'. I’m just thinking about that reflective sounding comment in a liveshow last year where he said commitment can be scary, sometimes. Maybe that is something he’d like to talk about and hasn’t felt able because everybody will attribute it to Phil and phan and him/them saying a few times over the years that they’re not interested in sharing their personal (in the sexual/romantic sense) relationships on YT hasn’t changed, but not wanting to talk about relationships (and the ups/down, ins/outs (heh) of being in them) at all has, at least for Dan. It’s been such a closed off subject that clearly Dan has felt stifled by, so he’s changing that. And it’s great to see that people can change their minds and their actions and decide maybe something wasn’t working and try something different in an attempt to be happier (oh, hm, kind of like he talked about in the video):
0:50 “And this mission’s not just to find a dream life to work towards in the future, but to find a sustainable feeling of content right now so that I feel happy in the present”
1:35 “Unless you are honest with yourself about who you are and live life by your rules, you will never feel free”
4:06 “The problem for me personally is that half the time I don’t know who I am or what I want”
5:55 “It is scary, but if any of you feel like something’s not right and you aren’t content, ask yourself: are you living your truth? And if not, forget what anyone else thinks. Even if it’s one tiny impossible step at a time, each one will bring you infinitely closer to happiness”
He’s just taking some tiny impossible steps to be happy in the present, while admitting he doesn’t know what he wants from the future. And one of those steps apparently is telling the world how much he loves to s some d— hey, we all take different paths.

Anyway I'll shut up and aw look at somebody who recently climbed aboard the therapy train being uncharacteristically supportive:
Thanks and have a great day! Oil me

karma_yeah
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Re: Dan & Phil Part 66: Rainbow Nerds

Post by karma_yeah » Sun Mar 04, 2018 3:07 pm

I'm not really a twitter person, or comment reader, so has anyone seen any comments (positive or negative) from any of D&P's youtube friends/acquaintances, (like Tyler Oakley) about his vid?
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kavat
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Re: Dan & Phil Part 66: Rainbow Nerds

Post by kavat » Sun Mar 04, 2018 3:32 pm

I'm so used to Dan being a troll that I was 98% sure he was going to end the video by saying he's a furry.

I'm going to read back the last couple of pages now but I've really enjoyed the conversation so far!
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Re: Dan & Phil Part 66: Rainbow Nerds

Post by alien » Sun Mar 04, 2018 3:34 pm

karma_yeah wrote:
Sun Mar 04, 2018 3:07 pm
I'm not really a twitter person, or comment reader, so has anyone seen any comments (positive or negative) from any of D&P's youtube friends/acquaintances, (like Tyler Oakley) about his vid?
I haven’t actively looked but just from scrolling through twitter the only person I’ve seen is Hazel who said she likes hearing dan say the f word and that it’s a really good video.

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