Dan & Phil Part 67: Laughter, Food and Sex

[hello9217]

Idk If its just the phandom knew jerk reaction to it or I'm just rereading quotes of what he said etc but my mood is dropping and I'm seeing everything in a bad light. Honestly it makes me sad how often Dan live shows make me anxious, some times because of how he talks but most of the times because of the reactions.

That said, if this is how people react every time, I don't blame Phil for not being open about things. At least he never backtracks on anything? His approach might be extra slow but is steadier. I wish we had a liveshow of Phil instead.

I'm gonna ignore everything #phandivorce and solo merch meaning they will move out and things like that cause that just makes me roll my eyes tbh

Honestly this!!! Like the boy may not talk as openly or as readily as Dan does but at least when he says something he sticks to it.
"You and Dan are so married" Phil blushes and giggles
Phil talks about how boys are cute and just owns it. He doesn't backtrack, he doesn't patronize his audience, and if someone took a comment he made one way then he just lets them think what they want.
I just wish Dan could adopt this sort of attitude.

[expiredfrappuccino]

im not sure if i got 2012 vibes.. but he didnt really conclude what he was saying, it was more just rambling (it is a ls afterall so i cant really blame him) so idk what he was on about half the time

i hope people dont whine about "solo dan merch? but wheres phil!!!!!11", "why isnt phil involved!!??"or "theres no dan without phil!" etc because im worried dan would say something 2012ish/defensive such as "we are two seperate people you know " and all that. and i know he's changed since 2012, im just overthinking it

[loonyradish]

I don't know why I did this, but I transcribed the whole bit where he's talking about his video/dick stuff. It's below if you don't feel like re-watching the video.

"
[....]

Which was less about making a big statement at the end of the video, because that wasn't the point of the video. The point of the video was me talking about happiness and how to find it. But um, you know, some people were like "I don't care about anything but the last 4 words". And... it's funny, because I found this video, I actually changed it. Cuz originally, I said "ass" instead of "something".

[...]

thanks for the transcription!

The bolded part is what makes me think that he wasn't exactly retracting anything. He didn't say "i didn't want to make a big statement, it shouldn't come off as if I like dicks, because I don't". What he said imo was "this video was supposed to be about something different (being happy), and not about the fact that I like dicks."

However, I do also think that by now he should be aware of what happens when he includes "jokes" like that in a video. He must have known that people would focus on it. He didn't just shoot the video and put it out there, forgetting about the last sentence. He edited it, probably showed it to Phil, edited again, and somewhere in that process it must have occured to him that people might talk about that a lot. So I don't really get why he would include it, just to play it down later.

[nigel ratburn]

okay the more i think about it the more annoyed with him i am, because... boy. i know the video was "deep" to you or whatever, but it was vague as fuck and that makes it not very interesting, and the one piece of relevant, new information about you (the "personal" part of this triangle model you apparently try to think about when making your videos) was the sex stuff. if you want people to care about the greater message and not the details, the interesting details should have to do with that message and your message should be cohesive. he's capable of doing this-- the depression video was great at it, i thought.
also, it was not one sex joke, it was a series of jokes that were very phallically implicated, and acting like it was just the comment at the end that got people riled up is just. ridiculous. i honestly don't mind if he wants to be protective and private, he has every right to be, but for fuck's sake, make up your mind BEFORE you post the video and then don't patronize people for reacting in a perfectly logical way. i honestly think he's less mad about the insinuation that he likes dick and more that that aspect of it is such a big deal to everyone (which is why he wishes he kept it as ass, because that's consistently ambiguous), but the backtracking is just exhausting and really disappointing, especially considering that the video was all about authenticity.

i know i'll get over it eventually-- i always do-- but i seriously need to pop an aspirin from the headache he's giving me today.

on another note, god do i not want him to hire out other people to help with production. one of the things i love the most about dan and phil is that they do as much as possible themselves. the idea of someone else even being involved in the process of a dan video honestly just makes me feel. icky. which probably isn't fair, but whatever. i was already salty when he said that.

[somelikeitpink]

I don't know why I did this, but I transcribed the whole bit where he's talking about his video/dick stuff. It's below if you don't feel like re-watching the video.

”......

Yikes! And I was like, okay. And I just, that'd be really funny, cuz like I said, this isn't the subject of the video, it's just me referencing what I said earlier. And I thought ass is funny, cuz eating ass is a meme. And it's nice and non-exclusive. I don't want to exclude anybody, y'know what I mean, everyone has one. Um... and then I listened to "something" half an hour after I made the video, and I was like "oh my god something, it literally only sounds like penis.
....

Thank so much for posting this because this made me realise why it devalues the video a little for me..

Dan said this bit in the beginning of the Liveshow about the three cornerstones of videos for him: a. Interesting b. Funny c. Personal

But the thing is - unless he wanted it non exclusive because of him being bi/pan/whatever, which it didn’t sound like for me, he made it less exclusive for his audience.

But by doing that you basically remove one of the three slightly more personal opinions in it. The other two would be him admitting his search for happiness and the laugh, food, sex comment.
And without the video being personal it just turnes into a 3am ramble video with no purpose.

[citizen_erased]

I love how one moment he's like "I overthink everything!" and the next moment he says "I didn't realize how this could be interpreted!" suuuuuure But honestly, there's no way he got through writing, filming, editing, and then probably also having phil check the video first, without ever realizing what he was implying. Not with the way he's always instantly shaming Phil for even the slightest potentially crude comment in gaming videos and with how he's behaved about sexual comments in the past.

To be fair though, he doesn't come across to me as particularly no-homo-ish in the ls. I didn't feel like he was backtracking, though I do think he might be disappointed that people didn't pay more attention to the message of the whole video. Not sure what he was expecting there, he's been doing this for ten years*. How are you going to 'give the people what they want' if you apparently don't know your fans all that well.

What did make me way more uncomfortable though is how he treated the fans when Antoni Porowski dm'ed him on twitter, with the whole "this is because of you motherfuckers, I didn't ask for this"

also re the tour: "we didn't want to shove it in anyone's faces" are you sure phil got that memo

(I'm not watching the rest of the ls either yet or at all because it's late here now and I'm exhausted)

*edited because I feel a need to point out that I don't actually know how long Dan's been making videos for, my mind just went '10 years!' and I didn't check anything. I'm tired.

[tyhane]

Yes, absolutely. Like people naturally pick up on the most interesting part of a video, and when a comment is that shocking and straight forward, it's just going to be the thing people talk about the most. Dan knows that. There's only so much you can say about the actual serious content of the video, as it went in circles and didn't even really answer the question of what it even means to "live your truth", so yes, people will fixate on the sex stuff. I get being annoyed by it, but it was his doing.

Also, Dan liked this:

just..ugh idk

Ugh. It's funny because my reaction to the liveshow was pretty negative, but I think it was in a different way than most others I've seen. I didn't necessarily take it as him backtracking on the dick joke. Instead I took it as him expressing annoyance (in a pretty patronizing way) about people focusing so much on those lines. I realize he literally said he doesn't care, but idk.
There's been several distinct times that I've thought "oh Dan knows his audience well enough by now" (like about the Bahamas thing and people talking about that week in March), but then he comes along with something that just makes me think... did you really not realize this would happen? Did you really not expect people to focus on/talk about multiple semi-explicit sex mentions in a main channel video? I just. Don't understand him sometimes.

[malday]

I don't know why I did this, but I transcribed the whole bit where he's talking about his video/dick stuff. It's below if you don't feel like re-watching the video.

"Everyone's talking about dicks." They were... well no they weren't. [laughs] There were a few people. So funny like, when I posted the video, y'know the video is about me... feeling unhappy and trying to find meaning and discussing the concept of authenticity. But the first load of comments was like "that was fun, thanks, liked the video!". Then on Facebook people were like "this was like really deep, and I like Dan, this is quite intense and emotional but that was cool".

But like half an hour later, I don't know where these people came from or who they are, but suddenly everyone was like "DID I DETECT A PENIS?" and I was like "what is going on". And then I realized it was the last line where I said "I put something in my mouth". And this is funny, cuz it's just been entertaining for me to read people arguing about it or not, because I said that, you know, in reference to what makes me happy, which I said was food, sex and laughter, I just referenced that at the end and-and then I said "something".

Which was less about making a big statement at the end of the video, because that wasn't the point of the video. The point of the video was me talking about happiness and how to find it. But um, you know, some people were like "I don't care about anything but the last 4 words". And... it's funny, because I found this video, I actually changed it. Cuz originally, I said "ass" instead of "something".

[plays the video that says "ass in my mouth" instead of "something"]

Yikes! And I was like, okay. And I just, that'd be really funny, cuz like I said, this isn't the subject of the video, it's just me referencing what I said earlier. And I thought ass is funny, cuz eating ass is a meme. And it's nice and non-exclusive. I don't want to exclude anybody, y'know what I mean, everyone has one. Um... and then I listened to "something" half an hour after I made the video, and I was like "oh my god something, it literally only sounds like penis".

And the thing is there's nothing wrong with that, there's nothing wrong with penises and anyone putting them in and out of their mouth. And it's funny because I was trying to not be crude, by changing it, and then it was even more crude. And anyway that's-that's just a... It's quite funny that in the video discussing unhappiness and debating the authenticity of existence, a lot people were like "hmm, penis!" Which was... which was fun.

So... [laughs] I enjoy that. But no, I know that lots of people were like "[whiny voice] no, Dan was making a serious video!" And it's fine, not everybody was obsessed with penises, a lot of people liked the video, and that's fine. It's... people are allowed to have their own enjoyments of things. If some people want to talk about the intense stuff, and some people just want to talk about the funny stuff, and some other people just want to talk about penises, I'm literally not shaming anybody. Y'know what I mean. It's-it's I accept it. I wouldn't have made the joke.

(@the bolded part) Why is he acting like somebody who just discovered the internet and not someone who's been on it doing videos for close to a decade?




He said something about hiring Tomska's editor? If he is seriously thinking about it, I'm all for that choice :thanks:

[rizzo]

I'll address everything else (if I care to) when I actually watch the thing. But I'm fairly caught up so I just wanna reply this:

You know the fuck what? I'm gonna ignore that and just react to that shit about hiring other people to do your damn job for you. If you think production value is holding your videos back (it's the least of your problems but hey) TAKE A COURSE. REFINE YOUR SKILLS. GET BETTER. Damn ass lazy YouTube sourcing out everything they can. I honestly always lose quite a bit of respect for those who do it (for normal vloggers who have no other jobs anyway).

PREACH. Roughly 50% of why I like Dan and Phil is that their content is made by them. With all its shaky cameras and shitty photoshop jobs, it's the diamond in what is otherwise an ugly, ash-filled landscape that is popular youtubers' content.

Like, FUCK. Dan's videos being filmed by Phil and the both of them acting out characters in the best (worst) way they know how is what actually makes their video good, because lord knows it ain't the god damn content. (And this bleeds into Dan wanting his video to be seen for more than the sex mentions, because again... that video would 100% have been worse if it was professionally edited and the dick joke was removed.)

I hate this. I hate that this is something he's thinking about. Do your damn job or don't do it at all. Ugh, Catallena, I could not agree with you more. But maybe the response to this has left me really bitter and I just need to walk away for a minute.

Also, work sucks ass right now. I'm not happy all around.

[Stakhanov]

Welll I loved this liveshow, it had a lot to unpack and I feel like Dan didn't hold back. I like it when he talks about plenty of different stuff and was looking forward to him talking about his latest vid. Which he sort of did, but sadly not with the kind of dept i would have liked. Still, I feel like he had a lot to share and I enjoyed that.

@The sex joke: I don't understand why people make such a big fuzz about this. I agree with the picture he liked really. The message of the video was about how he feels he should express his true identity. It seems like some people on the interent immediately sexualized the liking "things going in and out of his mind" and understood it as some profound statement about his own identity and sexuality. I doubted it was that, and what he says in his liveshow conflicts with that interpretation. Maybe that's why people find it disappointing and a "backtrack"? My views about his sexuality remain unchanged, but I never took the statement as meaning much.
Same goes about the magnets. It doesn't have to mean anything. You can interpret it in many ways to start with but I doubt those magnets were a message that they would want to share something about their presumed relationship.
@the solo merch. My suspicion is they will launch a lot of new merch togehter with the tour. Some of featuring both of them, and I would bet both solo Dan and Phil merch would be available. They want to make sure that people coming to the show and who are willing to burn some money have plenty of new choices. They both own equal shares in the company so even if you buy just a solo Dan or a solo Phil shirt, you'll still be supporting them both I don't think the solo merch means anything other than they want to make sure all corners of the market are being served.

[Whommel]

I’m in such a weird mood after this ls, it just sucked the energy out of me. I already had a feeling that he would say something that would ruin the video for me, but I still went into the ls hoping it wouldn’t happen. But that long ramble did it. To me it very much read like he wanted to be authentic with the video and then went several steps backwards on that in the ls. And if he didn’t intend to do that, he still provided fuel to the people who want to prove his straightness, who thrill at erasing queer identities and that’s just exhausting to witness.

[snokoplasmic]

I guess I just can’t come to any conclusions from what he says anymore, no matter how logical it seems. Maybe I’m being dramatic but I don’t have the strength anymore to be confused by what his intentions are.

gimme that wholesome gaming video asap please

Yes! The condesending nature really pisses me off, like people didn't just draw the most logical conclusion based off of his OWN words I mean, it's not like people are actively ignoring something incredibly profound that happened in the video; the rest of it wasn't really all too thought-provoking or interesting.

I'm really feeling Catallena's views on the hiring-an-editor thing. Also, Dan, I can assure you that the quality of your videos has little to nothing to do with who's filming/editing it, maybe you can try out making better videos first

[yellowsubmarine]

Yes, absolutely. Like people naturally pick up on the most interesting part of a video, and when a comment is that shocking and straight forward, it's just going to be the thing people talk about the most. Dan knows that. There's only so much you can say about the actual serious content of the video, as it went in circles and didn't even really answer the question of what it even means to "live your truth", so yes, people will fixate on the sex stuff. I get being annoyed by it, but it was his doing.

Also, Dan liked this:

just..ugh idk

Ugh. It's funny because my reaction to the liveshow was pretty negative, but I think it was in a different way than most others I've seen. I didn't necessarily take it as him backtracking on the dick joke. Instead I took it as him expressing annoyance (in a pretty patronizing way) about people focusing so much on those lines. I realize he literally said he doesn't care, but idk.
There's been several distinct times that I've thought "oh Dan knows his audience well enough by now" (like about the Bahamas thing and people talking about that week in March), but then he comes along with something that just makes me think... did you really not realize this would happen? Did you really not expect people to focus on/talk about multiple semi-explicit sex mentions in a main channel video? I just. Don't understand him sometimes.

I agree with you. Definitely the part that left me dissappointed was that I thought that he knew his audience better, I for sure thought he would anticipate this, or even gloss by it.
Other times he doesn't address his videos the next day, he lets them pass and a week later talks about them. Maybe he should have done that in this case? Skip a week maybe? Idk.

[somelikeitpink]

I gotta say the hiring an editor/camera guy thing didn’t really make him seem lazy to me but if anything - insecure.

I think whatever crisis he has in his head means that he wonders if maybe people (whoever he means - fans? Media?) would treat certain things as more serious if the production was higher quality.

Besides coming from the film industry myself - it’s easy to say they should improve their skills, but that can NEVER replace a crew of people who do one of those things specifically for living.

Doesn’t mean I want him to do it - I love what they manage to do themselves and the imperfection of it.
But I think it’s difficult to judge if it comes from a place of insecurity.
I can imagine especially in a world surrounded by peers who do exactly that.

[alch]

I found it strange that he seemed to act like it was completely unintentional and "oh haha people thought i was talking about dick" like that's not the most obvious interpretation. And I understand that he didn't want the focus of the video to be those one or two particular quotes, but if you have an audience that spends every waking moment trying to prove you're gay, you gotta expect this'll happen when you mention sex like this, especially if you so rarely mention it.

[bookfiend]

I feel like the next time Dan decides to be a bit more open about sex on his channel Phil should sit on him and refuse to let him on the internet for a couple of weeks.

His liveshow would have been a lot less patronising, panicked and full of backtracking if he’d just waited a week or two for everyone to calm down. A few gaming vids/amazingphil vid to balance it out and maybe a joint liveshow and it’d be old news by the time he had to face the audience.

I admit I’m kind of disappointed, though I do get him being upset. I did have the initial “whoa he’s talking about dicks” reaction, but it wasn’t why I liked the video. I needed to hear I’m not the only one searching for who they are right now. And from where I’m standing the majority of us fans felt the same.

I just don’t want this mess of a liveshow to ruin that video for people or make them feel bad about themselves because of what’s happened.

[aifos]

Hello, I know this is only my second post, but I just need to rant.
I think Dan wants the best of both worlds. He wants the General Audience to think he's just a #reletable guy, and he wants "the phandom" to feel connected to him and I think he feels neutral about the "really involved" fans knowing he's not straight. and maybe he's happy to share that part of himself with that portion of his audience.
BUT. it seems like when he says or does things that could potentially get out of the "phandom" and into the real world, he backtracks and denies everything just to the point where it's not really denied, but not really confirmed either. And in this case it hurt, because, he made that joke! He put it in the video! He can't tell me that I shouldn't have focused on that part of the video, that it wasn't important, because guess what?? It was the most interesting thing about that video! And it made me happy because it seemed like he felt confident enough to have that kind of joke with THAT meaning out there on his MAIN channel. And I'm just sad that now he says that "it's funny this, it's funny that".... He knew how we would interpret that sentence but he said it anyway!! He can't blame us if we focused more on that! he said he wants his videos to be personal too and that was the only real personal thing in that video! and I understand that maybe he was anxious and stressed, but that can't be an excuse if he literally prepared the video showing he said ass right there, he could have prepared what to say and HOW to say it better.
Look, I'm Italian, it's half past midnght so coherently writing in another language is not going to end well, and i know I'm exaggerating, but I just feel betrayed in a sense? I was happy that this person I admired made that explicit joke that couldn't be denied, while i struggle to understand and accept my sexuality. I know it's not his job to make me feel better, he doesn't owe me anything. But just this once I was happy that fucking homophobes finally "couldn't take this away from us" (for lack of a better term) but, with what he said tonight, there are still going to be people who believe that is straight, unless he doesn't explicitly SHOUT in their faces that he isn't.
In the end I guess I'm just sad that we have to live in a world where someone has to be cautious about what they say regarding their sexuality if they want to be accapted by everyone and in his case be successful and not lose fans.
Thank you if anybody read this, i don't expect any replies, i just needed to get it out of my chest

[flarequake]

For the most part I really liked the liveshow, though I did see this as backtracking. I wonder if after working on the video for two weeks and thinking about it so much, maybe changing it from ass was just as he said. I’m terrible for over-thinking things too and if I get anything made at all it’s either nitpicked and checked to within an inch of its life or, if I’ve thought for too long and run out of time, say “f- it” and let what happens happen, but still I think I’d hear the meaning in a sentence like that. It’s not fair for him to put it all on people misinterpreting or overblowing it, though I understand him being unhappy that it got so much more attention than the point of the video.

I did like hearing that bit of insight into his thoughts behind making videos, the triangle of what they need. Intrugued too by the coming-soon tour stuff and his merch designs. I don’t think he needs anyone else’s lighting, direction or otherwise to improve, though. Perhaps less thinking, though I feel bad saying that cos I know what it’s like. As people have said, their self-produced style is part of what we like about their videos. I’ve never noticed a need for better lighting or anything, though it might be worth testing it out. I’ve been getting the same vibe as somelikeitpink about him just wanting what he makes to be better. Reminds me of his liveshow last month when he was thinking he should post on Instagram more, but didn’t think he had anything worth posting since he doesn’t go out much, and when he was asking if the length of the meme video was okay. I can’t really gauge how confident he is, but he’s certainly been asking us for some feedback. Ultimately I just want to give him a hug, as usual.

[anime_is_not_cool]

That was so frustrating to watch, reminded me of his older live shows. I just want to go find his house and shout "Get over it, everything isn't that complicated, are you really that scared of what random teenagers on the internet think of you" at his face. He definitely seems to be doing worse than previously, as he mentioned in the video, and reminds me of one of my friends who has been suffering from depression & anxiety as long as I remember; stuck repeating the same (negative) thoughts, overthinking and wanting to do things but always backing off, and it hurts to watch that and I'm not angry bc I know what it can be like, but sometimes I contemplate a friendly punch in the face to get them out of their comfort zone.

I don't want to sound patronizing, but I was in that dark hole for years and grew up with that mindset. I especially faced difficulties with my online presence and "brand" and I used to really relate to Dan and that kind of barrier he puts (/used to put, now more rarely) between himself and his audience. But now after getting (at least a bit) better, his rants and weird ways of telling an opinion and then backing off 2 seconds later just remind me of my own past struggles and upset me. He has seemed so much happier and more "real" recently, and I hope that this is just a temporary relapse.
And to be honest, maybe it isn't that bad and the confusing (2015!Dan-like) dick moment just got stuck in my brain and makes me remember the whole live show as a lot worse than it was (there were some funny moments indeed, but I think it was still so much more messy and weird than his recent live shows, and you could tell he wasn't feeling well).

For me the depression vid was a sad confirmation that in the end, Dan isn't just pretending and being relatable, he is a youtuber documenting his mental health journey through different crises and actually stuck. And christ, I've been following him for some time, and for a while I've now been feeling like I've got my life kinda together and can be happy ...and he's got a second quarter life crisis, while having the money to hire the best professional help he ever needs.

I hope he has some kind of a breakthrough soon. To paraphrase myself from last July, tonight he seemed like a fish on land, suffering and trying to breathe but on the verge of death, and that isn't nice at all.

[Birdie]

I just opened the thread and everyone was just like “????” and I was dreading the worst, oh my god, guys. I’m just speculating of course but it sounded to me like he was a bit afraid of his own courage. He shared something explicit with his audience, something he’s never done before, and maybe he actually does regret it? But there is no way in hell he didn’t realise what his comments sounded like and there is also no way in hell he didn’t mean them to sound that way. I mean, we know how editing works and how often they probably play the clips back and how it’s their choice alone what goes in the video in what order so no way did he not know what he was implying… So yeah, I personally think he’s having a bit of anxiety about what he’s done so he’s trying to play it down. I’m majorly projecting here though, because that’s what I do when I tell someone something personal and then regret it later, lol.

I think this is very true. But Dan needs to learn that if he doesn't want people to talk about his sensationalized sex-related/shock value comments then don't put them in the fucking video?

This or just normalise them. A lot of Youtubers with the same demographic as him talk about sex openly and nobody gives a shit. Everyone freaked out because Dan had never done it before and yeah, he should've known this would happen to be honest. I'm not blaming him or anything but I don't think it's fair to blame the fans either. I was annoyed when everyone focused on the sex comments instead of the rest of the video but I also get it. It was surprising af. Dan knows his audience and he knows he needs to normalise stuff like this and not just drop it on them if he doesn't want them to freak out. You guys have already said it very nicely, it feels patronising having him backtrack in this fashion and basically blame people for "misunderstanding" something he deliberately kept vague...

I find it very, very interesting in this context that Dan has never outright said he doesn’t like men by the way. Not even back in 2012 when it would have been so easy to shut the speculation down with a simple “I’m straight”, he’s never done that and I think that says a lot. So I don't feel like he's no homoing at all, he doesn't deny anything and he never did. He just tries to play it off as a joke like he always does because joke territory is safe territory and if those stupid fans misunderstand a joke, that's not on him, right? Anyways, I love D&P and all that but right now? I'm frustrated as hell because I was actually happy for him that he felt okay being this open and there he goes making me feel bad for it and pretending it was all for the laughs once again.

tl;dr: I get why Dan probably felt the need to backtrack and I understand it must be hard sharing stuff like this with so many strangers on the internet but I'm still annoyed that he chose to backtrack in this patronising way and I'm really done with the thing he does where he keeps something vague on purpose and then acts surprised when people "misunderstand" what he meant.

(Eh, I just pondered over this post for about ninety hours and now all these points have already been made, but I'll post it anyways...)

[obsessivelymoody]

[Amiaw]

I am so thankful for Phil Lester sometimes. He probably saw the collective mess that the phandom is right now and decided to smooth it over with a generic tweet.

[LurkingTrash]

I don't even want to talk about the dick thing because that just makes me Sad and like someone said it managed to dry out all my energy

SO, about hiring video editors:
FUCK NO, is he serious? I'm so fucking tired of all the youtubers contents looking perfect and basically the fucking same, look at iisuperwomanii she used to be my favorite but nowadays with her crew and always doing sketches and every video looking like A Production without even a hint of what she used to do in the past....... it just looks so boring I even stopped watching and only care about her on social media.
I really don't want that to happen to them, their content stands out because it really feels like THEM, I don't give a fuck about pretty photoshop jobs and perfect editing and not shaking cameras, I just want something that feels real and not like it could be on television, there's a reason i picked youtube and why I stick with them while I get bored to death in months with most other youtubers
ugh I'm mad, not even gonna re-read this for spelling mistakes because I don't want to be even more mad, sorry

[greenergrass]

For me the depression vid was a sad confirmation that in the end, Dan isn't just pretending and being relatable, he is a youtuber documenting his mental health journey through different crises and actually stuck. And christ, I've been following him for some time, and for a while I've now been feeling like I've got my life kinda together and can be happy ...and he's got a second quarter life crisis, while having the money to hire the best professional help he ever needs.

I think this is a bit unfair. I'm glad you're doing better, but you can't really compare yourself like that to other people. I also brought up his mental health in a previous comment (mods, let me know if this discussion is too far), and I honestly do think he's not really in a great place right now - based on both what he's told us, and his behaviour. Like I said earlier, it's not an excuse for anything - but you also can't fault him for having his own struggles (you can fault him for his actual behaviour, which is what a lot of the discussion is about). He can have the best professional help available to him, but that doesn't mean he's a failure if it's not working. And obviously we don't know what's actually going on in his head (nor do we have the right to know everything). I just thought your post sounded a bit judgemental, but sorry if that's not what you intended.

[sonicgreen]

I am so thankful for Phil Lester sometimes. He probably saw the collective mess that the phandom is right now and decided to smooth it over with a generic tweet.

I am definitely agreeing with this.

I had to leave for work right after his ramble about his new video… I wasn't quite sure what I just watched. The more I sat with it the more I realized just how scared he was. And I get it I really do, that anxiety of making a video about authenticity, and oversharing. The panicked ramble was just way too real to how I usually handle things.

I'm glad I stepped away and didn't finish it. I have a quick second at work and I'm just catching up on everyone's feelings. I really don't have much to add and I feel like I'm piling on. I just really sympathize with his gut reaction to come on and backtrack. And its frustrating, that what came off as (planned and edited) confidence, is quickly pushed away by jokes and him trying to belittle any statement he made. Too close to home. I have enough anxieties in my own life that although I'm trying hard to empathize with him, I'm tired. Definitely doesn't do me any better to read everyone else's thoughts getting me fired up….