Dan & Phil Part 75: @philsthiccbooty

[nephilimcat]

Back from my hibernation to scream about PHIL DELETING DREAMS OF THE FUTURE! No. Just no. How dare he? HOW DARE HE? DOn't deprive me of this

[dc34]

Fav part was Dan literally swooning over Chan the Canadian Border Agent...

D: “There was a guy from Canada who was called Chan, and he was our Border Agent”
P: “Yeah, Dan loved Chan.”

Same! I also loved how Phil forgot Dan's age #phandivorce.........

jk, I went to the DMV a month ago and the guy asked me my age and I blanked for 10 seconds, so I feel you Phil

[sonicgreen]

Rewatching the ls now, Phil asking Dan if he remembers The cube, around 15 mins in, reminded me of this:



I think there was another tweet about The cube, with a photo of Dan and some towels on the floor, or something? But I can't find it.
Anyway, beautiful young phan, the best (after beautiful present phan imo).

yes! this was exactly what came to mind when they mentioned the cube. I remember the picture clearly, maybe i’ll try and find it.

Found it! Taken from oqua's compilation: "Photos Phil has taken of Dan"

30 April 2012

This is what happens when me and @danisnotonfire watch The Cube

[kavat]

I had nothing better to do today so here, have some live show timestamps:

0.26 Straight into the product placement of Phils new merch. Dan is sassing Phil's countdown of one day.
1.08 Dan was the first so sign up to the newsletter
1.20 Slightly odd socks. Dan completely takes over the sales pitch even though he complained about the spon 0.2 seconds ago
2.22 King of lesbian
2.40 Hint of something grey and soft looking
3.07 The USA tour is over and we are all dying. 11 shows left and 71 shows done.
3.50 They've said goodbye to the tourbus. They didn't name it Princess, it was already called that.
4.00 Driver Gus was so sweet, they gave him an introvert hat as a memory
4.17 Phil: "Speaking of gangbangs drugs" Dan: "That's going to be taken out of context" They talk about the border control
4.37 Dan have a crush on border agent Chan who looked like Tadashi fron Big Hero 6. Dan loved Chan according to Phil
4.58 Someone in the chat wrote "dan your gay is showing" whitch Dan finds hilarious
5.37 Truth bombs are the only dangerous substances on this bus
5.56 They had a game of Chameleon going, I don't know why but the way Phil says that is so cute. They want to play it on the gaming channel but have no friends (come on, invite the merch team please!)
6.25 The next plane journey is 18,5 hours long
7.04 Phil is going to spend the rest of this week downloading things to his ipad. So apparently they leave the US later / at the end of the week?
7.15 Phil: "Everyone is telling me to watch The Greatest Showman, so I'll watch that" Dan: "We'll watch The Greatest Showman"
7.24 Dan ugly cried to Saving Mr Banks
7.43 Melbourne is a big big boi
8.10 Other shows that are left are in Asia. No mention of South America.
8.37 They had to do the ending twice because the confetti made hella mess
9.00 There was a crane camera that Phil tried to not look at, because he's so used to starring into the camera
9.10 Talk about foot and leg injuries and what caused the rumors of Dan breaking his ankle. They just fall over so much they can't keep track.
10.25 The LA venue had a video games room but they were to busy to enjoy it
10.47 "At least you won't get probed" I have no idea what this is refering to but they both agree
10.57 They had no time to do collabs in LA. Phil slid into Safiya Nygaard's DMs, she's his fave
11.30 They struggle a lot with how to pronounce poké and it's very cute
11.53 Okay right here is when Phil is describing what was in his bowl and Dan just looks so smitten? He's just starring, followed by a goofy smile and an eye brow raise at the camera. What the hell.
12.00 Calpico, fizzy milk soda (still sounds gross to me). Dan is defending Phil's idea of fizzy milk.
12.40 Phil is lactose intolerant but suffers through it, Dan giggles. He also counts up Phil's other allergies (coconut and chocolate)
13.10 No not everyones mouth burns from chocolate, jfc Phil
13.36 They'll let us know when and where to find the II show. It's going to be very easily available to lots of people. They are happy with how it turned out.
14.15 They played shuffleboard in Seattle. Phil likes pool but Dan is not into it.
15.07 Someone in the chat says that shuffleboard is the worst. Phil: "Take that back, don't insult my son"
15.22 Talk about The Cube, a brittish game show
15.52 The airport thing, Phil finds it so funny that they thought Dan was so young
16.10 But then Phil questions Dans actual age and this bit is so funny and cute, I can't handle it (I relate though because I can't remember my own age. Once I reached 26 it turned into a blur).
16.48 Phil's airport guy was not flirting with him, he just had the same name
17.43 Phil: "They could probe me if I fist bumped them"
18:10 What's an impala and do they have hooves
19.02 Plans for the plane: The Greatest Showman, Big Little Lies (so Phil can talk to his mum about it), Micki Ninaj, Dark Tourist, some Queer Eye, The Staircase
20.25 "Is there a phrase for when something is really uncommon but when you mention it on the internet someone pops out like um actually" yeah I think it's something about statistics and probabilty of a large audience Danny boy
21.00 Overcooked was an entire roller coaster of emotions
21.25 New sims wednesday or thursday. They Crossed A Line. Dan's in Phil merch.
21.58 Another video, a game they've played a few times but something happens and now they won't play it again. Or will they? A finale. Might be sexual. The other one has piercings. I'm lost. Is it the return of Dream daddy?
22.36 Dan just fully flops into Phil's lap for no reason
22.50 Glasses and eye sight talk. Someone has -12, because statistics.
23.45 They can drag someone into the live show on Rize. You can opt out in the settings.
25.00 Next time will be a live truth bombs feat. audience. The question is How will Dan and Phil die. Stepping one foot apart is a valid answer.
25.50 They can't figure out what time it will be. Keep an eye on twitter.
26.34 Australia is fake, it's a meme. They are in on the conspiracy.
26.57 Pop up shop in Melbourne and Sydney, it's gonna be litty
27.40 The last 30 seconds is just Phil trying to figure out how to close the app like the dad he is.

[alittledizzy]

Amazing timestamps!!

Lauren just posted this on her insta, aww:



And Sarah posted something similar:



So I guess that does confirm that neither of them are gonna be there for the rest of the tour. Did Martyn and Cornelia just call dibs on the fun places they'd never been before? Or maybe a cost saving maneuver to hire local and not have to foot all the transport costs?

[ratlad]

the cube tweets were immediately what came to my mind when they mentioned it in yesterday's liveshow lmao. i rly hope they upload the new sims vid tonight aaahh, but i'm not betting on it since i actually hope they take this time off for themselves more than i want a video!!!

[autumnhearth]

Just came here to express my gratitude to @sonicgreen and @Catallena that was a very nice ls to watch last night, after a rough day (I pulled a week in March and got to learn what “brain zaps/shocks/shivers” are, fun... by which I mean scary. Just waiting on the phone call from the pharmacy). Loved their Instagram stories last night too and can’t wait to see more of Phil’s modeling today.

Thoughts on the Sims: I don’t think they are killing any of the Howlters or making Dil and Tabitha elderly. I think the moral line crossed will have to do with their choosing to make Dil an evil scientist.

Boo to private Phil videos, there are two or three in my playlist, but I’m not sure which they are.

[obsessivelymoody]

Phil's really giving his wikifeet page a lot of new content. In all seriousness though, I'm hyped to get my hands on a pair of socks that I really don't need lol

[sonicgreen]

socked feet have never looked cuter

[Ataraxia25]

Phil's really giving his wikifeet page a lot of new content. In all seriousness though, I'm hyped to get my hands on a pair of socks that I really don't need lol

is someone gonna tell the boy this is not really a countdown?

but no i can’t wait to see phil’s merch im so so excited

[flarequake]

The way he’s got his toes pointing inwards is cute. Drop it already, Phil, we’re curious! Half the phandom I follow on Twitter have changed their names to use wingdings, it’s so cute. Can’t read it, but it looks good.

[liola]

Phil deleting old videos will always make me sad because it's always sudden and I'm always like "oh no nooo where did you gooo"

Goodbye hickey Phil goodbye fire and petrol goodbye cute blindfolded drawing that was soft and pure ;_;

Now the only way to save the day is for Phil to finally let me give him money

[obsessivelymoody]

I like how Phil just...doesn't know how countdowns work lmao. But I also didn't expect a lion plushie!

[Ablissa]

Wait... Is the lion plushie going to be Phil merch? Because that is brilliant, but I bet it'll cost a hefty amount for a plush I could get for cheap at some local toy store, but... do want... Come on Phil, hurry up!!!

[snokoplasmic]

I like how Phil just...doesn't know how countdowns work lmao. But I also didn't expect a lion plushie!

Same lmao, but to be fair, I am kind of enjoying this hourly countdown more than I would've enjoyed a daily one, for some reason

[flarequake]

He’s such a cheeky sh*t. I’d love to see his face right now as we all wait.

[knq]

I felt like talking about 46 things in the same post so I gave it some headings idk if that helped

For posterity
What we missed in the Why Are Dan and Phil Early Rize show:

• Dan trying to get Phil to customize the push notification when it's Dan's turn "this year" according to Phil.
  -Arguing over who customizes the push notification seems to be a weekly feature now. I like it. It brought us "whole/hole crotch situation" last week.
• The push notification is a combination of Phil's recently used emojis. Enjoy your insight into Phil's life.
• Amelia Phanhart.
  P: Where in the world are we, is the questiony? Guess.
  D: Amelia Dan-hart. Amelia Phan-hart. That doesn't make any sense.
  P: We are in the Bermuda triangle.
  D&P: *humming different songs*
  P: What was your song?
  D: X-Files.
  P: Oh. Mine was Twilight Zone. Fight me! ... I've never actually watched the Twilight Zone, so.
  D: Fake fan.
  P: I should have sang the X-Files.

and that takes us to the blessed clarify of the IDB recording.

About their intros and outros
Dan complaining how quickly Phil started talking about the 'main topic' of their liveshow (his merch) reminds me of last week, when he said it was a rush so they talked about the heat for a good 5 minutes and then he complained that they hadn't gotten to the main topic yet. It seems like Dan is a person who really prefers to be eased in and out of conversation while Phil is more straightforward.

I notice the same thing going on with the endings. Last week Dan did his gentle voice in the last minute of the show and Phil was like "What is this voice?" and then shouted "BYE!" at the end of Dan's whole winding-down thing. This show's ending was similar. Dan's like "I'm gonna let you close it because I feel like I always close these" and Phil interprets this as "What, close the app?" Which, like, no, I don't think he meant physically hit the red X in the app, Phil, I think he meant conclude the show, but it turned out cute af anyway.

Whose iPad/Greatest Showman pouting
At 7 minutes Phil explains he's going to download 18 hours worth of stuff to watch on his iPad.
P: And everyone's telling me I should watch The Greatest Showman, so I'm gonna watch some of that.
D: We'll watch The Greatest Showman.
P: Is it good? Is it sad?
D: We'll find out.
P: I don't wanna cry.
D: We'll find out.
P: I don't want altitude tears.
D: We'll find out.
12 minutes later:
D: What are you gonna watch on the plane?
P: I'm gonna watch The Greatest Showman.
D: On your iPad?
P: On my iPad.
D: *pulling this face*
-What even was this? Does he think Phil's going to watch the show without him? Does he want Phil to watch the show on his iPad? Do they even have two iPads? He's so pouty.

Chan crush
I didn't personally think Dan was laughing at the 'dan your gay is showing' chat message. It's on the screen for a good 3 seconds of Dan straight-faced staring before he laughs, and he reads really quickly.
4:55 P: Anyway, Chan came and inspected our bus.
(chat: dan your gay is showing)
P: And, but before he went on the bus he said, "I'm just letting you know--"
(Dan laughing)
P: If you've hidden any drugs I will find them and I will arrest you. But--
D: And everyone was looking at Phil.
P: --we will-- I -- What? Why was everyone looking at me?
D: But no *mumbling* and then it was funny because he was like "I just have to say this, like... If any of you have drugs you need to tell me now. I'm not gonna be mad--"
P: Yeah.
D: But like, you need to--
P: And then he's like--
D: --you need to tell me now. And then it was like--
P: If you have--
D: --glaring at everybody and we were--
P: If you have--
D: And we were just laughing because we were like 'We are literally not the group of people that are gonna be storing illegal substances.'
Obvs there's more story but you can just listen to it and I don't know why I just spent 15 minutes trying to hear exactly what they were saying. What I was trying to show is that (A) I think Dan's laughing remembering the story of Chan (Dhan ) as Phil starts telling it and not at the chat and (B) I think Dan doesn't want Phil to finish explaining whatever Chan said about if they did have drugs on the bus. Possibly he's realized Chan could get in trouble for whatever he said that they found so amusing.

How old is Dan?

Phil think Dan was 26 reminded me of Dan's February 21, 2017 liveshow when Dan apparently said he was 26 when he was still 25? He says he does that a lot.
48:45 D: I swear, in any thing, I always say that I'm a year older than I am because I'm constantly just thinking about how old I'm gonna be this year.
So basically, Phil is so used to Dan being one year off that he just assumes Dan's age is whatever Dan says minus one.

jealous!dan?
I don't agree with a lot of the jealous!Dan theories/clips that are out there so this is a weird observation for me to make, but I seem to have spent a lot of time this Rize show watching Dan's many facial expressions and he looks unamused by the flirty airport fellow whose name was also Phil.

At like 16:50 when Phil starts telling the story Dan does an eyeroll sort of thing


looks at the camera and becomes acutely aware of the thousands of eyes watching him


and decides this is the most appropriate expression to put on his face


still doesn't seem real amused though

Even if he was unamused it might not be a jealousy thing. He might just think Airport Phil should have improved his flirty bantery skills before approaching Amazing Phil.

omg this post was long. I'm surprised Phil's merch didn't come out and then sell out while I was writing it.

... oh wait I think it just did. Not sold out yet though!

[obsessivelymoody]

[Ablissa]

I love the fox jumper omg

[Ataraxia25]

im so happy i actually really love his merch? i wasn’t a fan of dan’s but god phil, you have all my money and my everything

[autumnhearth]

I love the fox jumper! And though I have an aversion to the texture of most socks with designs on them I might give the foxes a chance. And um a lion plushie for the kiddo. Maybe for Christmas.

[nigel ratburn]

i may have just immediately bought the fox socks and plant pins i got very excited whoops. phil's merch is much more my aesthetic than dan's, i really like it! the message on the "about" page is so adorable, too. my heart swells more with love for phil lester every day

rat emoji of celebration:

[hello9217]

Everything looks really cute. I thought I would only get the socks but the try new things top is adorable

[rizzo]

That fox sweater is the cutest merch either of them have ever sold?????? And the Try New Things Shirt? Shit, y’all. Phil just won the merch game. I am in love!!!

Conversely, is it terrible that I’m sad Phil is selling a Lion replica? I recognize it’s similar to Dan selling eclipse shirts, but I can’t put my finger on exactly why this feels worse to me.

[kindofatrashcan]

THE PINS THE PINS ARE FREAKING AMAZING hehe