Dan & Phil Part 82: now onto the future

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Re: Dan & Phil Part 82: now onto the future

Post by liola » Mon Feb 25, 2019 1:23 pm

Wishing they communicated with us isn't insensible. If Dan had completely disappeared from the internet then yes, I would agre, but he has tweeted, he has liked stuff. He is choosing, on his own accord, to withdraw a more direct kind of communication wish us.

In his depression video Dan said he wouldn't want people to see his mental illness used as an excuse. Let's not baby him and remember that. He could be going through a bad time, yes, we're aware. We're also aware it's been two months and he's had chances, if he so wanted, to tell us things. He hasn't. I'm taking that as face value. It doesn't mean we don't care about his well-being just because we're frustrated, people can feel different emotions as the same time.

Now I guess I'll bring my empathy-lacking ass away for the day or at least until Phil posts.

EDIT: well this isn't the best top-of-the-page post sorry
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Re: Dan & Phil Part 82: now onto the future

Post by phanfckingtastic » Mon Feb 25, 2019 1:37 pm

fancybum wrote:
Mon Feb 25, 2019 12:56 pm
Lol people that simply long to hear from Dan and feel like expressing it are unempathetic and unselfaware entitled monsters, ok got it. Sad and wishful opinions not allowed because maybe someone died, sure. Like is the fact that people are mostly just saying ‘I’m sad and miss them’, not ‘he better post immediately or fuck him/dance monkey dance’ being completely lost here just so people can jerk themselves off over how much more correct their own emotions are? Congrats, I hope you get a medal.
Emotions are not wrong or right. We all do what we can. Having clarified that, people are not just saying they’re “sad” and that’s what I highlighted. And I didn’t call anyone a monster, come on. I do think the demand gets a bit childish at times, yes. And also think when we get carried away by emotional needs echoed and magnified by a community our thought process can get too self-involved so it’s good to breathe and put things in perspective beyond our immediate desires. For our own sake, as well, because there’s a line between sharing a frustation and feeding into each other’s negativity endlessly.

Pigeon fest (which I loved and found hilarious btw) really exemplified that when it comes to dan and phil, a lot of people would get them intravenously, if possible, all day, every day.
I’m just trying to call for some honesty in acknowledging that the needs of the most active fans for their content - if we’re 100% honest - could never really be satisfied unless dnp had a 24/7 live stream from their house a la big brother.
And I find often the phandom’s reaction to what we actually get is sometimes unfair because it comes from that insatiable dnp hunger which is irrationally placed in their hands, beyond a creator-audience relationship.
I don’t mean “dance, monkey” but (tw for addiction) more “look, you’ve made me addicted to your life and your presence, now you better keep up with the dosage” is what I mean.
There’s always talk about babying dnp too much but from what I come across in social media the babying also tends to happen between fans as well, every time right before we reach the end of a “silent cycle” before they give us something new.
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Re: Dan & Phil Part 82: now onto the future

Post by intoapuddle » Mon Feb 25, 2019 2:28 pm

phanfckingtastic wrote:
Mon Feb 25, 2019 12:16 pm
Where it ties with Cornelia is that as I’ve said here before, Dan could be in a bad place himself, but also he could have a friend or a relative going through a terminal illness, or in hospital, he could be doing intensive therapy work, or actual work for some huge project we’re not aware of and it’s being so stressful he needs a break from interacting on social media, etc. Infinite possibilities.
I haven't really speculated his absence publicly because we can't know what he doesn't tell us, but this is kind of where my mind is at.

Pure speculation from here on:

We don't know where he's at in his personal life or what circumstances he's under, but to me this doesn't feel like a deliberate time off. I think he was planning on posting and being on a similar upload schedule to Phil (or at least being more transparent about where he's taking his career if it's not on yt), but that something out of his control has come up that has put it all on hold. Like you said, could be his own mental health or something else in his life taking a turn. Unexpected things happen and at this point Dan is not the type of person to talk about something before he's ready to or before he knows how to talk about it. I personally believe that he will tell us the reason for his absence and that it won't be what we've expected.

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Re: Dan & Phil Part 82: now onto the future

Post by queerofcups » Mon Feb 25, 2019 2:59 pm

phanfckingtastic wrote:
Mon Feb 25, 2019 1:37 pm

Pigeon fest (which I loved and found hilarious btw) really exemplified that when it comes to dan and phil, a lot of people would get them intravenously, if possible, all day, every day.
I’m just trying to call for some honesty in acknowledging that the needs of the most active fans for their content - if we’re 100% honest - could never really be satisfied unless dnp had a 24/7 live stream from their house a la big brother.
And I find often the phandom’s reaction to what we actually get is sometimes unfair because it comes from that insatiable dnp hunger which is irrationally placed in their hands, beyond a creator-audience relationship.
I don’t mean “dance, monkey” but (tw for addiction) more “look, you’ve made me addicted to your life and your presence, now you better keep up with the dosage” is what I mean.
There’s always talk about babying dnp too much but from what I come across in social media the babying also tends to happen between fans as well, every time right before we reach the end of a “silent cycle” before they give us something new.
Shocking no one, I agree with this so much. I think the lack of acknowledging this level of need is the part that annoys me (perhaps a lot of us) when these negativity marathons happen and its what I mean when I say things like "nothing is good enough" or talk about moving goal posts. obviously not everyone is on the same level of need, but it feels like the hiatus has really highlighted the ways some people want a level of engagement that's unsustainable for them. Even the desire for "communication" which sounds reasonable on its face, I'm confused about. Do we want daily confirmations from Dan personally that he is still not posting? Do we want them to tell us the gaming channel is coming back "sometime in the future"? To me, it seems like they're not saying anything because there's not anything to say at the moment, but also I'm really skeptical that any update they give is going to be read as "enough" for everyone.

Also the whole piece about babying fans is just...yes. 100% agree.

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Re: Dan & Phil Part 82: now onto the future

Post by fancybum » Mon Feb 25, 2019 3:10 pm

queerofcups wrote:
Mon Feb 25, 2019 2:59 pm
Even the desire for "communication" which sounds reasonable on its face, I'm confused about. Do we want daily confirmations from Dan personally that he is still not posting? Do we want them to tell us the gaming channel is coming back "sometime in the future"? To me, it seems like they're not saying anything because there's not anything to say at the moment, but also I'm really skeptical that any update they give is going to be read as "enough" for everyone.

Also the whole piece about babying fans is just...yes. 100% agree.
Uh, I'd be pretty satisfied with a "oh btw we're not doing liveshows anymore(/or until X), sorry for forgetting to mention that". I mean, I'd still miss Dan (and my deepest apologies for missing someone whose content I've enjoyed), but at least I'd know that no hope exists, rather than holding onto something that's pointless.
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Re: Dan & Phil Part 82: now onto the future

Post by lefthandedism » Mon Feb 25, 2019 3:15 pm

I agree with @intoapuddle that we have no idea why we aren't hearing from Dan. Meanwhile, I'm enjoying all the interesting fandom self-reflection here. :ribena:

Also....get in your suggestions for the next thread name--now, or right after Phil's video!
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Re: Dan & Phil Part 82: now onto the future

Post by waveydnp » Mon Feb 25, 2019 5:26 pm

they told us the gaming channel was going on hiatus, not dan. not pretty much any and all joint ‘content.’ i don’t understand what’s so confusing about fans saying they’d appreciate just a little bit of communication? some people in this fandom don’t care about solo content, and dnp been building up the joint brand for years. it’s not unreasonable for people to be a little confused that it’s suddenly disappeared. obviously no one is asking for dan to tweet every day that he’s not posting that day.

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Re: Dan & Phil Part 82: now onto the future

Post by phanfckingtastic » Mon Feb 25, 2019 6:25 pm

I don’t find it confusing, personally I already described why I think it happens. I just think after the first couple of times it’s a waste of time and energy.
Feels like talking to a friend that goes through cycles for years complaining of the same thing about a third person. Similar advice I’d give to my irl friend: I get that it’s frustrating and I’m sorry it feels crap, but it’s the same situation again, over and over. We’ve been here before. They’re not changing, so either you change your perspective, adjust your expectations, or get over it and move on. Don’t get stuck in a spiral of anxiety of your own creation for something that isn’t worth it. It doesn’t solve anything and you still feel like shit. And if I’d give that advice about real heavy life stuff and actual relationships, I think it most definitely applies to Dan and Phil. Complaining and worrying feels good in the moment as release and feels like taking action, but in the end it’s deceivingly useless and toxic. My two cents.
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Re: Dan & Phil Part 82: now onto the future

Post by Templeofshame » Mon Feb 25, 2019 6:34 pm

I don't think it's any more productive to tell people to get over their feelings (or change perspectives, etc., even if that might on an individual basis be helpful for someone one knows) than it is for people to express those feelings. Nothing we say here is "productive" in terms of making changes in how D&P do anything. The more people judge each other's reactions to the hiatus, to more we get bogged down in this conversation over and over again and make people feel bad about their feelings on all sides. Realistically, I think we're all working through our feelings in our own ways and at our own paces, and it doesn't seem like IDB is the best forum for personalized advice on how anyone should handle their emotional wellbeing (which I think is also best given when asked for).

I think it would be nice if we could talk about the things we're interested in, instead of arguing about others' feelings. Of course, that does require having a topic that other people want to talk about, which I'm never good at.

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Re: Dan & Phil Part 82: now onto the future

Post by waveydnp » Mon Feb 25, 2019 6:42 pm

phanfckingtastic wrote:
Mon Feb 25, 2019 6:25 pm
I don’t find it confusing, personally I already described why I think it happens. I just think after the first couple of times it’s a waste of time and energy.
Feels like talking to a friend that goes through cycles for years complaining of the same thing about a third person. Similar advice I’d give to my irl friend: I get that it’s frustrating and I’m sorry it feels crap, but it’s the same situation again, over and over. We’ve been here before. They’re not changing, so either you change your perspective, adjust your expectations, or get over it and move on. Don’t get stuck in a spiral of anxiety of your own creation for something that isn’t worth it. It doesn’t solve anything and you still feel like shit. And if I’d give that advice about real heavy life stuff and actual relationships, I think it most definitely applies to Dan and Phil. Complaining and worrying feels good in the moment as release and feels like taking action, but in the end it’s deceivingly useless and toxic. My two cents.
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Re: Dan & Phil Part 82: now onto the future

Post by alittledizzy » Mon Feb 25, 2019 6:48 pm

Templeofshame wrote:
Mon Feb 25, 2019 6:34 pm
I think it would be nice if we could talk about the things we're interested in, instead of arguing about others' feelings. Of course, that does require having a topic that other people want to talk about, which I'm never good at.
I agree with this. My whole point with posting yesterday was just to try and encourage people find other topics to discuss rather than the forum just revolve around the same topic (Dan not posting) in a very cyclic way. That's not negating anyone's feelings, though. I've tried to be very careful not to do that. People can be upset. People can even be angry. But I miss fandom spaces that aren't dominated by that topic and that topic alone.

I'm so ready to Phil to post. That'd be great, if he'd just.... post. Like today.

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Re: Dan & Phil Part 82: now onto the future

Post by fancybum » Mon Feb 25, 2019 6:49 pm

Truly fantastic display of empathy from the person suggesting to “lead with empathy” :lol: . I’m getting mixed messages tbh.
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Re: Dan & Phil Part 82: now onto the future

Post by glitterintheair » Mon Feb 25, 2019 6:51 pm

phanfckingtastic wrote:
Mon Feb 25, 2019 6:25 pm
Feels like talking to a friend that goes through cycles for years complaining of the same thing about a third person. Similar advice I’d give to my irl friend: I get that it’s frustrating and I’m sorry it feels crap, but it’s the same situation again, over and over. We’ve been here before. They’re not changing, so either you change your perspective, adjust your expectations, or get over it and move on.
Get over it and move on! It's so easy, amirite?! Thanks for the advice, pal. :thumb:

Anyway, Phil upload, please. I am ready to throw my pride off the window and actually beg for it.
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Re: Dan & Phil Part 82: now onto the future

Post by knq » Mon Feb 25, 2019 6:55 pm

I'm a little surprised if they didn't have an Oscars party.

Or maybe they did, and we just didn't hear about it because of their reduced social media presence? I don't follow Bryony or any of their other friends, but I imagine someone would have mentioned it if they did. They seemed to be doing a lot of visiting friends in early January, and if Dan is still on 'a vacation where we don't go anywhere' I'd just kind of expect him to be doing more fun real world things, not less. The Oscars party is a tradition! Why are they abandoning all their traditions? Why am I worried? How did I just manage to make myself worried about Dan and Phil's Oscars party? I don't even watch the Oscars!

To add something of substance: I didn't see these particular Dan and Phil Instagram likes show up on the tumblr dnp news blog I have tabbed. I don't know if they've been posted elsewhere, but since not everyone has Instagram on mobile or gets notifications, here they are:
Image
Image
Image
Is stephenbyrne Phil's first subscriber? Or is that a different Stephen? Or a Ben? I can never remember. /fakefan

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Re: Dan & Phil Part 82: now onto the future

Post by Stakhanov » Mon Feb 25, 2019 6:58 pm

Dan has already been on hiatus for about a year. For a person who prefers solo Dan content, his content ended rather abruptly about a year ago. Without much talk about it. So his hiatus is nothing new really and D&P games also being put on hiatus might just have been a consequence of Dan's decision to extend his break (driven by whatever reasons) to the joint content of DAPG.
People can feel and express whatever they would like to, I don't think anyone disagrees with that point really. What can we expect of them, how should we manage our own expectations as fans and what's the way they should communicate about this are all questions that i've got a lot of thoughts about but I'm going to refrain from expressing them, since most of it has already been voiced in posts by others - and I can do without the judgement of a mod telling me I'm just trying to even scores when I articulate my point of view.

What does surprise me is how a lot of people didn't seem to expect the drought to be this long? I agree the Christmas liveshow was a lot at once - the hiatus, the break, the conformation of the end of pinof and the sims series... but I feel they had been giving cues for a while. Dan certainly had, about his own channel in the Mukbang vid and by not posting anything the whole year. But there were other signs too imo. I Remember at the start of 2018 I thought they were busy as hell with the show and then the truth kind of surfaced- by Dan telling he had gone through a difficult period and also by them revealing the show was made and rehearsed in a pretty short period. The show felt a bit rushed to me. It's enjoyable, and it works for what it is, but I can't call it a well-thought out masterpiece. Many will probably disagree, but I don't think they made the best show they could.
Whatever the case, they also said that they had a lot of stuff prepared and that we wouldn't really feel the impact. That just wasn't true. There were 'probably' going to be some impromptu liveshows. Instead there weren't and we only got the horrible Ryze-spon (so glad I didn't let that app ruin my phone) and after that nothing. Normal programming did not resume after they came back from the tour and by that point it wasn't really surprising to me that we were in for less content. I didn't expect the to axe DAPG entirely (or for an undetermined amount of time at least), but from how things had evolved in 2018 and sensing that they felt a bit burnt out, the announcement felt more like a confirmation of a trend that was already unfolding for a while.

Just out of curiosity I checked some of the numbers of the video's they produced on the different channels. It's been much lower for the whole of 2018. One might argue that's to be expected during a world tour. Still, youtube is the main platform through which we know them and the viewer-creator relationship is nourished, especially if you did not have the chance to go see them live (as most fans didn't). I'm not saying they didn't have legitimate reasons, I'm just saying that over the years, I've seen them put youtube on the backburner more and more.
Also the lower output continued after the tour as well, not the mention the lack of liveshows.

DAPG: last 12 months : 49 video's. The year before that: 94 video's. --> A decrease of almost 50%
AmazingPhil: last 12 months: 14 video's. The year before that: 23 video's -->A decrease of about 40%
Daniel Howell: last 12 months: 1 video. The year before: 12 --> A big decrease and loss that can't be measured by math :snow:

Of course as a human being who really likes them I hope Dan and Phil are both doing well personally. That ought to be their priority, regardless of us. But as a viewer (and also a human being who likes them), they are risking losing audience engagement and it will require something new that goes beyond a once a fortnight AP vid to buck that trend of fewer content.
Last edited by Stakhanov on Mon Feb 25, 2019 7:04 pm, edited 1 time in total.
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Re: Dan & Phil Part 82: now onto the future

Post by alittledizzy » Mon Feb 25, 2019 7:01 pm

knq wrote:
Mon Feb 25, 2019 6:55 pm
I'm a little surprised if they didn't have an Oscars party.

Or maybe they did, and we just didn't hear about it because of their reduced social media presence? I don't follow Bryony or any of their other friends, but I imagine someone would have mentioned it if they did. They seemed to be doing a lot of visiting friends in early January, and if Dan is still on 'a vacation where we don't go anywhere' I'd just kind of expect him to be doing more fun real world things, not less. The Oscars party is a tradition! Why are they abandoning all their traditions? Why am I worried? How did I just manage to make myself worried about Dan and Phil's Oscars party? I don't even watch the Oscars!

To add something of substance: I didn't see these particular Dan and Phil Instagram likes show up on the tumblr dnp news blog I have tabbed. I don't know if they've been posted elsewhere, but since not everyone has Instagram on mobile or gets notifications, here they are:
Image
Image
Image
Is stephenbyrne Phil's first subscriber? Or is that a different Stephen? Or a Ben? I can never remember. /fakefan
Bryony posted a totally unrelated-to-Oscars ig story around the middle of when they've have been on so I had the strong feeling she wasn't there and they didn't have a party. I halfway expected them to get together with Martyn and Cornelia, but maybe M&C aren't really movie people. (Also, Cornelia seems to be doing not great? Can someone tell if that's a hospital gown in the instagram story she posted or is she just wearing something that ties at the back of the neck?)

John Salomone is the first subscriber - Stephen was another youtuber (3sixty5days), he's the one that did Apartment Red with Phil and also started dating Charlie right around the same time that Dan and Phil met (loosely say met - I think it was right around when they because facebook friends). He was also in Vegas with Dan and Phil in 2012 on that pre-Vidcon Dan birthday trip!

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Re: Dan & Phil Part 82: now onto the future

Post by intoapuddle » Mon Feb 25, 2019 7:07 pm

^ i got the impression that Cornelia was talking about nerves surrounding her upcoming music stuff, but I can't be sure. I don't really follow her closely.

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Re: Dan & Phil Part 82: now onto the future

Post by Templeofshame » Mon Feb 25, 2019 7:14 pm

intoapuddle wrote:
Mon Feb 25, 2019 7:07 pm
^ i got the impression that Cornelia was talking about nerves surrounding her upcoming music stuff, but I can't be sure. I don't really follow her closely.
"when you go through something frightening" sounds more serious than music nerves, and I'm currently team hospital-gown, but I don't know anything for sure. I think maybe she's reevaluating her life priorities (perhaps devoting more energy to her music as a result, being less perfectionistic, and worrying less about money) in the face of whatever's going on medically.

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Re: Dan & Phil Part 82: now onto the future

Post by knq » Mon Feb 25, 2019 7:19 pm

Ahah! So John, Phil's first subscriber, had the username DudeNdaEaseOnUp, and because another of their old contacts Ben had the username DudeLIAwesome, my brain interchanged them and came up with... Stephen. :shrug: You do you, brain.

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Re: Dan & Phil Part 82: now onto the future

Post by agingphangirl » Mon Feb 25, 2019 7:21 pm

It looked like a hospital gown to me, since the design of it is very similar to the ones we have here. But, she hasn't confirmed anything so we can't be sure.

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Re: Dan & Phil Part 82: now onto the future

Post by intoapuddle » Mon Feb 25, 2019 7:22 pm

Templeofshame wrote:
Mon Feb 25, 2019 7:14 pm
intoapuddle wrote:
Mon Feb 25, 2019 7:07 pm
^ i got the impression that Cornelia was talking about nerves surrounding her upcoming music stuff, but I can't be sure. I don't really follow her closely.
"when you go through something frightening" sounds more serious than music nerves, and I'm currently team hospital-gown, but I don't know anything for sure. I think maybe she's reevaluating her life priorities (perhaps devoting more energy to her music as a result, being less perfectionistic, and worrying less about money) in the face of whatever's going on medically.
oops apparently i didn't fully absorb what she wrote cus i don't remember it being put like that. i hope she's ok

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Re: Dan & Phil Part 82: now onto the future

Post by phanfckingtastic » Mon Feb 25, 2019 7:30 pm

Really? Condescending? When we have mr roommates forever in this same forum? Wow ok. I see it as psych 101 to navigate life in general with more ease, just standard piece of advice. I don’t judge people’s feelings, I just discussed how those feelings are managed and the actions we take as fans. I don’t think it’s inappropriate, condescending, or disrespectful to say, hey, don’t worry too much over something way beyond your control which makes you feel bad. I know I sound like an old man but it’s my least favourite side of tumblr fandom to wallow forever in negative stuff and commiserate instead of attempting to find solutions to maybe stop the vicious cycle and feel better.

I’m honestly surprised at how offended some of you get over someone expressing that.
If you like being in -and perpetuating- a negative mind space around dnp, politics, climate or your aunt elsa, you’re more than free to do that, but maybe ask yourself what purpose it serves, that extra anxiety. Years of therapy and life experience have shown me that feeling like shit can become very addictive and familiar, but I did enough of that in my youth and it’s not how I like to live my experience in the phandom.
Dan and Phil are one of my interests because they provide entertainment, a source of joy and lightness, and after 10 years as a viewer, I’m genuinely fond of them.
I leave my concern and heaviness for other areas in my life.
If you don’t do the same, cool, but being repetitively negative in public fandom spaces can make people like me comment on it, because it’s an atmosphere I choose not to inhabit if I can help it. And because I sincerely wish everybody here not to let this little uncertainty or change affect them so much!

I’m a decent person with good intentions that’s learned some hard lessons in life - as many of us here have, I’m sure - trying to express myself as best I can. I’m not a villain.
These are just general thoughts and impressions on phandom dynamics, that’s all. It’s not some personal attack or whatever. If you disagree, great.
It’s not like I’m censoring anybody, only stating an opinion.
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Re: Dan & Phil Part 82: now onto the future

Post by Ablissa » Mon Feb 25, 2019 7:50 pm

I realize I'm straying from the current conversation, so sorry for that.
Do you all think Phil will upload today, or is he going to wait until later? I really want to know what he came up with for this video.

re: Oscars
I'm pretty sure they would have watched it together, even if they didn't have a whole party for it. They watch Oscars every year.

re: Cornelia (that's offtopic from dnp so I'm sorry again)
I'm like 99% sure that's a hospital gown on her insta. I hope she's ok :(

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Re: Dan & Phil Part 82: now onto the future

Post by intoapuddle » Mon Feb 25, 2019 7:54 pm

My guess is he'll post tomorrow. He was up until 4am so I'm thinking he might want a day off today or something

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Re: Dan & Phil Part 82: now onto the future

Post by flarequake » Mon Feb 25, 2019 8:03 pm

@phanfckingtastic the way you describe your way of thinking suggests to me that you find it very easy to stop feeling negative, to step back and see things differently, and that's great, it's a state of being that I've been working towards for years and thankfully with all that effort and time it's got easier, but it's not always easy for everyone. I don't think you meant that you think it is, either, but before your last post I didn't realise you had personal experience like that, the previous advice-focused post came across as very logical in explaining to the emotional why it's better to think differently. I don't know that anyone really wants to sit and wallow in their sadness etc, though that is sometimes easier than pulling yourself out of it. Anyway, I don't know that I can add much more to that right now, my mind gets to a point lately and then draws a blank (rsi reducing both arms to as much non-use as possible, the usual back pain plus anxiety redux and no work has made for a funny few weeks).

I was feeling quite fed up with the guys this morning, the unknown and minimal info isn't something I love, though I've been loving Phil's videos and watching their previous stuff is still lovely (heh, lots of love, they've got me, eh). My speculative guess re Dan is maybe he's found it heavenly-relaxing to have taken such steps back and he's taking his time. That does look distinctly like a hospital gown in Cornelia's photo, imo.

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