Dan & Phil Part 85: the phildom

Our two favourite full time internet nerds who never go outside!
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bevioletsky
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I was not expecting an upload today so I was just getting along with... washing my hair and shit and nearly lost it when I opened up my laptop and saw the title of the upload (didn’t see the earlier tweet either). I had to check I wasn’t actually hallucinating and had a weirdly physical reaction, I felt all shaky and slightly like throwing up. It took me about an hour to get through that 45-minute video, and I have a million thoughts and while many aspects of it weren’t surprising I feel like there were as many and more that definitely were. There will certainly be enough things to dissect for a bit there, huh? Opinions galore, I’m sure. Proud of him (and Phil, lmao) for coming out and the whole lot. I need to rewatch, jesus.
Phantasy
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Still reeling. After so long it’s emotionally rewarding to know the actual journey. One thing that’s still sitting with me is how truly deep his father (and family) issues run—he’s always hinted or made some remark for comedic effect, but they clearly left him emotionally scarred. So, happy after all these years he’s found acceptance even at a time when he doesn’t particularly need their validation (kinda funny though his mom’s comment was clearly “we been knew”).

Also, the other great mystery solved... Vers Dan Confirmed ;)
JLynne
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I watched it, stared at my screen for a few moments, and then immediately played it again. My brain did not compute the first time how badly it needed to hear a lot of what he was saying. All I can say is...I get why this tool him so long to film and post. He got every word, every gesture, exactly right. It's his story and the story of countless people like him, told in a way only he can. Do proud of him.

Also...I don't know why my ears perked up at this, but he referred to Phil with the pronoun "them" at one point. I don't know if that was just a slip of the tongue, or if that's a pronoun Phil prefers... Idk, just caught my attention in a video full of attention-grabbing things.
tigertatze
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Sidenote: I find it very inch resting that the only people really talking about pHaN this or that on SNS are the people yelling against the “evil shippers” fetishizing them and not taking this as “proof” (nevermind he actually confirmed it unless the words “romantic”, “more than friends” and “relationship” have changed their meaning since I last checked but oh well), everyone else seems perfectly content just being proud and happy for the guy without bringing phil into it at all
#nohetero
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DnP1991
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Hey there. Mostly a rare lurker, but I decided to post today. Realized I couldn't remember my username, so I made a new account so I could actually post again.

This video did me in. It took me more than an hour to watch. Like everyone else I'm so so so proud of him. This video felt so open and honest and real. It really felt like Dan was a friend, telling me his story.
A lot of it was hard for me to watch on a personal level. I'm only 2ish weeks older than Dan, and his trip down memory lane was very tough for a lot of reasons. He also really made sure to cover a lot of bases in how he talked about things and what he talked about. Everything from his stance on sexuality to how he was treated growing up. I don't know why, but I never considered the idea that he was out as a teen, or that he went through so much trauma, even though he's hinted at it. I figured there was definitely some trauma, but the heavier stuff he mentioned had be absolutely sobbing. It explains so much, and I hope that explanation makes people be even more patient with him.

And his message about feeling hopeless and things getting better? That is going on my inspiration/mental health wall ASAP!

Imo, he also phrased certain things in certain ways on purpose, especially when it came to his relationship(s). Dan's always been a little purposeful in his phrasing of things, sort of using light double talk so that people could think what they want, and take things either way. Especially with his mental health and sexuality. Now he's laid the cards on the table for both of those, but still a lot of people are murky on what he meant by certain relationshippy things. I guess since he was very clear on not wanting to be like certain other youtubers and wanting privacy when it came to that, I won't speculate. (But I'm so so curious, like way more than I have a right to be)

Also he used Hector for the art! I loved it!

oooh one final thing. PHIL. HIS TWEET. Vague but very Phil like!! I feel like I made the right decision is following these two, I've never been prouder.

Sorry this is so long, I've still got so much nervous energy about this and no one to talk to about it Irl. I'm about ready to burst!
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Catallena
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tigertatze wrote: Thu Jun 13, 2019 10:25 pm Sidenote: I find it very inch resting that the only people really talking about pHaN this or that on SNS are the people yelling against the “evil shippers” fetishizing them and not taking this as “proof” (nevermind he actually confirmed it unless the words “romantic”, “more than friends” and “relationship” have changed their meaning since I last checked but oh well), everyone else seems perfectly content just being proud and happy for the guy without bringing phil into it at all
I feel like people are still applying the standards of the 2014 phandom to the current phandom. That's the only way it makes sense. Dan and Phil's relationship is sweet. Hearing Dan talk about it and hearing what meeting Phil meant for him was even sweeter. I've honestly seen very little fetishization today. Mostly people just being happy because they're SWEET. And give people hope. And some people are confused and curious about their relationship after a certain point, but that's pretty harmless. The only people talking about ~evil shippers wanting to see them fuck are the fake morally superior people yelling about it. :shrug:
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DnP1991
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Catallena wrote: Thu Jun 13, 2019 10:32 pm
tigertatze wrote: Thu Jun 13, 2019 10:25 pm Sidenote: I find it very inch resting that the only people really talking about pHaN this or that on SNS are the people yelling against the “evil shippers” fetishizing them and not taking this as “proof” (nevermind he actually confirmed it unless the words “romantic”, “more than friends” and “relationship” have changed their meaning since I last checked but oh well), everyone else seems perfectly content just being proud and happy for the guy without bringing phil into it at all
I feel like people are still applying the standards of the 2014 phandom to the current phandom. That's the only way it makes sense. Dan and Phil's relationship is sweet. Hearing Dan talk about it and hearing what meeting Phil meant for him was even sweeter. I've honestly seen very little fetishization today. Mostly people just being happy because they're SWEET. And give people hope. And some people are confused and curious about their relationship after a certain point, but that's pretty harmless. The only people talking about ~evil shippers wanting to see them fuck are the fake morally superior people yelling about it. :shrug:
I gotta agree. I think nowadays especially there are more people who get preemptively upset, talking about what crimes you shouldn't commit than people committing the crimes. And those with the loudest voices seem to be the ones who get heard.
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Ataraxia25
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Catallena wrote: Thu Jun 13, 2019 10:32 pm
tigertatze wrote: Thu Jun 13, 2019 10:25 pm Sidenote: I find it very inch resting that the only people really talking about pHaN this or that on SNS are the people yelling against the “evil shippers” fetishizing them and not taking this as “proof” (nevermind he actually confirmed it unless the words “romantic”, “more than friends” and “relationship” have changed their meaning since I last checked but oh well), everyone else seems perfectly content just being proud and happy for the guy without bringing phil into it at all
I feel like people are still applying the standards of the 2014 phandom to the current phandom. That's the only way it makes sense. Dan and Phil's relationship is sweet. Hearing Dan talk about it and hearing what meeting Phil meant for him was even sweeter. I've honestly seen very little fetishization today. Mostly people just being happy because they're SWEET. And give people hope. And some people are confused and curious about their relationship after a certain point, but that's pretty harmless. The only people talking about ~evil shippers wanting to see them fuck are the fake morally superior people yelling about it. :shrug:
This. That's what I'm seeing on my timeline, not the 'evil shippers'.
:gayaf:
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dontpanic
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There's something so hilariously, aggressively heterosexual about this response :lol:
tigertatze
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dontpanic wrote: Thu Jun 13, 2019 10:45 pm There's something so hilariously, aggressively heterosexual about this response :lol:
Listen, he tried :lol:
#nohetero
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Cafil
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Aww :( olly just replied under his tweet :prideheart:
Phantasy
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No, THIS is aggressively heterosexual... But, of course coming from Jon is what makes it funny.

Seen the love from so many people that has inspired Dan over the years including Dan’s queer senpai Tyler and Connor... just waiting for some love from Troye now. :prideheart:
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rizzo
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The responses to Dan's video alone are making me cry.

Just scrolling through his likes... seeing the congrats, the compliments, people discovering Dan for the first time, people acknowledging Dan's talent and the power of his writing.

I feel so proud to call myself a fan of his. And I'm so proud of him. And I want to get deeper and talk about the details of the video, but I'm still computing that this happened. That he's seeing these responses. How he (and even Phil) must feel right now.

It aches in the best way. I love him so much.
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starwatersong
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:rainbow: :rainbow: :rainbow:
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loonyradish
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Damn, that video. I'm not sure exactly what to say, but basically, it comes down to me being very, very happy for him accepting finally accepting himself, and taking this huge next step.
Very fittingly, right after the video, youtube suggested dodie's song "burn out" to me, which converses yet another aspect of the pressure that comes with having a large audience/fanbase; so that is what I'm listening to now.
I was never one to post much in terms of shipping and Dan's sexuality, yet feel somewhat ashamed for the times I did. I'm very glad he addressed the issue of being told that everyone knew he was gay, anyway. Honestly, up to this point, I've never thought about it as a problem, and I'm pretty sure that in the past, I've been one to say "well, we know anyway, so he might as well come out", meant to be supportive, but in hindsight being even more damaging.

Most of all, I'm very glad that we've got Dan back, and that boi better not be receiving any hate or privacy-intruding shit over this video :tsk:

That having been said, without any kind of speculating about the details of their relationship, I'm fascinated every time by how strong Dan and Phil's connection is. How amazing it must be to have someone by your side who you can call your companion, best friend, soulmate. Dan deserves this so, so much. <3 (and so does Phil)


This turned out longer than intended, and also much, much sappier. Forgive me. (It's the slow, emotional dodie music, I s2g)
firsttimeposter
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This video means everything to me. I’ve waited for four years for dan to be this up close and personal, and though I wasn’t expecting (or demanding ofc) that he would, it couldn’t make me happier that he finally feels like coming out and telling us all about this extremely personal thing. And literally Every content creator reaching out to dan congratulating him is :’) so sweet. It reminds me of that 2015 birthday where dan said “phil was definitely the center of the whole freaking universe on his birthday”. Today, he gets to experience that.

it’s so interesting to me that dan, with full awareness, said that is was ‘obvious’ that he and phil were more than friends. what surprised me is the fact that the doubt of dnp being together rn really grew with this video. Knowing that they both don’t want to talk about it any further makes me sad (though I obv respect that choice from both of them), cause as he said... I’m so curious. Especially because phil wasn’t included in dans coming out e-mail to his family - surely that’d be a pretty obvious thing to write about, were they together.

I’ll surely have more thoughts about this, but my head is really hurting from the many contrasting opinions I have rn lol.
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Ablissa
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I can't stop thinking of what they must be doing right now. Sitting together, scrolling through the responses to Dan's video. How proud and relieved Dan must feel. Fuck, I'm so happy for him. I hope that he sleeps well tonight, free in his own skin. :prideheart: :prideheart: :prideheart:
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pilotlight
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I don't think I ever ever expected him to make a video like that, and I think I'm gonna be processing it for a while. :happytears: I know lots of people can relate to different things he talked about and I certainly can too. It brought up a lot of painful memories that I thought I was over, and I probably am, but just ... ooof. :( Lots of sympathy there. I definitely teared up at a few points.

I'm just really happy that he's at a better place now and that he feels ok to talk about it all, even though I'm sure it must be scary.

The video was also just genuinely really good. I've always enjoyed his story-telling, and I think the humour really helped. There's not many people I'd watch a 45-minute video from, and I didn't feel like it ever dragged or was overly-long. The black background and the different coloured lights were a nice touch, although I didn't really get it until the end.

Just ... wow. So, so proud of him, honestly, and I wonder if it feels like a relief to get it all out there, or what.

Edit:
Very, very surprised that he only came out to his family so recently! That genuinely shocked me, and I'm so relieved for him that it went well overall because that Talk ™ was one that scared the living bejeezus out of me when I had to have it with my family.

Edit edit: Oh god, I just saw the responses and additions on twitter and I think they just broke me, especially Phil's. :happytears: So sweet and I'm so glad they have each other for support. I'm just gonna be a puddle of sap for the foreseeable future.
Last edited by pilotlight on Thu Jun 13, 2019 11:36 pm, edited 2 times in total.
anime_is_not_cool
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christ <3 i love him, i love how he put it all into words, i can’t believe how he’s still so strong after all that. i love the production quality, i’m relating so hard to some of the experiences, i’m very shook. if i made a list of everything i’ve been feeling tonight, it’d be a lot longer.
i’ve been having long thinking sessions about my sexuality and coming out lately, pride month and all. i’m kinda out myself but always running to the closet when i meet new people, spent last summer pretending to be straight at my summer job for example. i’ve also been thinking of coming 100% clear about it to my closest family members. i already know what i’d want to say. on top of my own struggles, i just had a relative bring his boyfriend to a family event the first time, and later we talked about being gay in this family. it was a bit weird but so, so relieving. i’m actually going to my first ever pride event tomorrow and earlier today i decided i’m going to post instagram photos of it. so...
..personally this video felt like a sign from above :D after watching the video i noticed a weird new sense of courage, and i think it’s reasonable. if dan can come out to millions of people including his family, i can do it in my life. god i love him <3

for me the most ironic thing about all of this is that my middle school bully just started following me on twitter and based on their profile they’re lgbt+ too. lol. they have retweeted the video, just like i did. daniel howell bringing people together.
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sparkle
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I feel like one of my closest friends just came out to me. And like we cried but it was beautiful.

I am so incredibly proud of and moved by him.


I hope he feels free :prideheart:

Edit: I CAN FINALLY CHANGE MY SIGNATURE! His channel has returned from war (quite literally)
:sparkle: dan howell gives me life :sparkle:
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dontpanic
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:rainbow: The video already hit 1 million views and it's only been like, what, 4 hours?

edit: I just got a CNN news alert about Dan... what in tar nation?

https://www.cnn.com/2019/06/13/entertai ... index.html
Last edited by dontpanic on Thu Jun 13, 2019 11:53 pm, edited 1 time in total.
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plinthofmylife
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I absolutely do not understand how his video can't be on the trending page with 1M views in less than 5 hours (on a 45 minute video) but oh right...it's gay content and has no ads... so not on trending.
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knq
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"Because you know, boys will be boys, especially the gay ones that get killed by the other ones."

Holy shit that hit me.

I just want to quote 45 minutes of Dan speaking because every, fucking, word, was, so, powerful. And a few of them were way too close to home, yike. Instead I'll just watch the video again though.

I'm happy for Dan. And I hope we'll hear more from him this year. I like seeing him again.
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I haven't posted here in ages, haven't even started watching the video yet, but saw a tweet about the video and now am crying actual tears getting ready to start watching it. I am so fucking proud.
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coconut
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just logging on to say i love dan, my brain is much and i can't form coherent words, my heart is going a million miles, i love dan & i'm so proud and happy for this man who's played such a significant role in my life. thank you <3
<3
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