Dan & Phil Part 86: here, queer & full of existential fear

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Dan & Phil Part 86: here, queer & full of existential fear

Post by oqua » Sat Jun 15, 2019 7:04 pm

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Re: Dan & Phil Part 86: here, queer & full of existential fear

Post by anonymousdork » Sat Jun 15, 2019 7:11 pm

Like many others, I've been rewatching old videos, and I'm just so soft for both of them. What a wonderful pride month indeed. :prideheart2: :prideheart2:

Also, those cake pictures were, um, interesting. :lol:
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Re: Dan & Phil Part 86: here, queer & full of existential fear

Post by yellowsubmarine » Sat Jun 15, 2019 7:16 pm

such a pretty cake!! :prideheart2: :prideheart2:

Look at him go in the replies 😭😭 boy is living his truth like a big, neon sign over his head.

Cute and thirsty af.. honestly that's quintessential Dan Howell.
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Re: Dan & Phil Part 86: here, queer & full of existential fear

Post by itasca00 » Sat Jun 15, 2019 7:18 pm

Every time I rewatch this video, I cry harder. It is so beautiful. Go watch it if you haven't yet! :prideheart2:
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Re: Dan & Phil Part 86: here, queer & full of existential fear

Post by Alohomora » Sat Jun 15, 2019 7:24 pm

unrelated, but it looks like Dan changed the pronouns on his Facebook account? IIRC in the past it used to be 'he/him', but now it looks like the pronouns are 'they/them' - wonder if that's only happened since publishing his most recent video.

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Re: Dan & Phil Part 86: here, queer & full of existential fear

Post by Phantasy » Sat Jun 15, 2019 7:42 pm

Phil’s revenge... Odd nickname for Phil lol... Also, wonder where they are... I don’t think that’s one of their balconies... looks like bamboo and maybe palm fronds... did they slip away somewhere?

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Re: Dan & Phil Part 86: here, queer & full of existential fear

Post by knq » Sat Jun 15, 2019 7:55 pm

Alohomora wrote:
Sat Jun 15, 2019 7:24 pm
unrelated, but it looks like Dan changed the pronouns on his Facebook account? IIRC in the past it used to be 'he/him', but now it looks like the pronouns are 'they/them' - wonder if that's only happened since publishing his most recent video.
Where are you seeing that? He identified as cis in his video so I'd be surprised (but of course not upset) if that were the case.


I feel like Dan recently mentioned something else as being revenge for the philussy cake, which makes me think these photos might have been from then. I don't remember when/what it was though. I feel like Bryony's garden has bamboo?

edit: Aw, yay!

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Re: Dan & Phil Part 86: here, queer & full of existential fear

Post by ravenreyes » Sat Jun 15, 2019 8:14 pm

yeah, eugene's video is so beautiful. and i was so happy when i saw dan's tweet about it and then eugene's reply to him!

and i'm really loving how happy and comfortable dan seems, and all the gay jokes and comments.
i'm not really out to people in real life, but online i kind of do the same and there's something so cathartic about it. :prideheart2:
(god i feel like i'm just going to be crying about happy and comfortable dan for the rest of my life, calm down)

also during my quest to rewatch all the videos that i can, i just watched the mukbang video and i almost forgot how good it is.
idk how likely it is, but i would love to see them doing something like that again. just like chill and talk about whatever. :)
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Re: Dan & Phil Part 86: here, queer & full of existential fear

Post by noodlebum » Sat Jun 15, 2019 8:31 pm

Imalexx has uploaded a reaction to Dan's video, which is basically regarding the phandom speculating on DnP's relationship still(plus youtubers trying to out him on Twitter years before, though he doesn't name Emma etc). What do all think? I'm conflicted for obvious reasons

Last edited by noodlebum on Sat Jun 15, 2019 8:38 pm, edited 1 time in total.

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Re: Dan & Phil Part 86: here, queer & full of existential fear

Post by SquishPhan » Sat Jun 15, 2019 8:37 pm

ravenreyes wrote:
Sat Jun 15, 2019 8:14 pm
also during my quest to rewatch all the videos that i can, i just watched the mukbang video and i almost forgot how good it is.
idk how likely it is, but i would love to see them doing something like that again. just like chill and talk about whatever. :)
I also rewatched the mukbang video today and would really love for them to do another one. A liveshow of some kind would work too.

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Re: Dan & Phil Part 86: here, queer & full of existential fear

Post by AltMay » Sat Jun 15, 2019 8:52 pm

Eugene's video is P O W E R F U L. Go watch it if you didn't yet!
I find myself waking up these past two days and being expectant as to what dan gay related tweet will we receive this time around and let me tell you, I'm here for it. I'm here for all this openness and freedom and happiness he's showing. And the support he's receiving, it's so inspiring ;-;
I'm so happy for him and I don't want this feeling to ever go away (even though it absolutely messes with my daily tasks. :lol: )

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Re: Dan & Phil Part 86: here, queer & full of existential fear

Post by iero » Sat Jun 15, 2019 9:13 pm

ratlad wrote: i mean... that's possible and certainly not uncommon for gay and lesbian couples to do. not like he's been exactly close to them as phil being close to his family.
yeah its just a general observation and a shame if so. just v glad he seems happy now after sharing his story
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Re: Dan & Phil Part 86: here, queer & full of existential fear

Post by Alohomora » Sat Jun 15, 2019 9:15 pm

knq wrote:
Sat Jun 15, 2019 7:55 pm

Where are you seeing that? He identified as cis in his video so I'd be surprised (but of course not upset) if that were the case.
Yeah, I was also a little surprised when I saw it on his facebook (not his Youtube ex-Danisnotonfire facebook page just to be clear)! But to be fair I've changed the pronouns to they/them on my own fb account and I would hesitate to say I'm not cisgender. It's probably related to what he said in the video about not being too particularly attached to being a cis man, even while identifying as one.

For contrast, it looks like Phil's pronouns on facebook are still he/him. :shrug:

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Re: Dan & Phil Part 86: here, queer & full of existential fear

Post by flarequake » Sat Jun 15, 2019 9:26 pm

I watched that video and tbh I’m not sure I can stand him reducing the majority of the phandom, who I know to be comfortable writing or reading fic, but don’t shove it in the boys’ faces, to crazy and, of course, all girls :tsk: When I first joined the phandom I was very put off by shipping, but mellowed when it seemed a likely truth rather than delusional raving shoved in their faces, though still so many comments on their videos, it was in their faces. Tbh I don’t see pressuring tweets and I’m not sure I ever have, though at the end of the first Tatinof show I went to when they said “do something I always dreamed of” or something, some bright spark shouted “kiss him!” right from the back. I just hate all the lumping together of ‘phandom’, ‘phannies’, ‘demons’, ‘shippers’, ‘girls’ and everything else we’re all reduced to.

Aside from Dan and Phil having written and performed their own fics and said they don’t mind it, I think it was Dan who was more up for it existing than just not minding it, Phil didn’t seem quite so keen, but anyway, boy done no research. Dan was referring to pressure back in 2011 or so, I don’t know how much there’s been recently. There have been tweets galore celebrating the two of them, but from someone outside looking in who just sees “ugh, rpf shippers”, well, that’s how it looks, while we know we're feeling happy for them after years of wondering and their more relaxed hinting in the last few years.

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Re: Dan & Phil Part 86: here, queer & full of existential fear

Post by dontpanic » Sat Jun 15, 2019 9:31 pm

That Alex video seemed a little like he had things he wanted to say in relation to how his fans treat him and in turn projected onto Dan

also that third birthday cake picture is just... too much :wavingflag:

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Re: Dan & Phil Part 86: here, queer & full of existential fear

Post by knq » Sat Jun 15, 2019 9:35 pm

I watched part of Alex’s video. What I saw wasn’t particularity insightful, and he seems to be equivocating the bullying Dan suffered with pretty normal fan activities like writing fan fiction. Having just read @flaresquake’s comment, it occurs to me that he may just not be aware of how dnp’s privacy was invaded and therefore thinks Dan is talking about normal fannish activity.

I think if you want to understand Dan’s opinions and feelings better, you ought to just watch the 45 minute video he made again, not a commentator.

As usual, it seems like the people telling others to stop talking about Dan and Phil’s relationship are some of the loudest and least kind discussing Dan and Phil’s relationship. I just don’t get that, man. How do you not at some point stop to think—wait, does my own advice apply to me?

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Re: Dan & Phil Part 86: here, queer & full of existential fear

Post by noodlebum » Sat Jun 15, 2019 9:49 pm

I think he's made a bad move monetising the video especially, that's not going down well :?

I agree that I think he's projecting a bit with his own experiences. And that he's thinking of the minority of fans that take things too far tweeting/saying stuff directly to them which is a bit much, like mentioned above by flarequake. It is disheartening that everyone considers all Dan and Phil fans to be 'crazy stalker teenage girls'.

I do feel conflicted about whether any of the things we all say/do on here is what Dan was saying in his video he didn't feel comfortable with? I would hope not... We're a nice mature bunch I think

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Re: Dan & Phil Part 86: here, queer & full of existential fear

Post by obsessivelymoody » Sat Jun 15, 2019 9:51 pm

*coughs and walks away* Anywayyyyyy I havent spent a single second over the last few days not filled with so much pride and happiness for them :wavingflag: Despite people trying to start shit, I'm loving seeing so many people come back. It reminds me of 2015 before so many people started to lose interest, leave, etc., but a lot happier. It's a very nice feeling in this community :D

I'm really on the edge of my seat thinking about vidcon tho. I truly never thought we would see them at a convention again (hey, I also thought the same thing about them coming out and they did that so). I'm just curious as to how different this will be. I'm excited for the panels as I always was but given everything else I'm so curious about how it'll be different from past vidcons and conventions generally.

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Re: Dan & Phil Part 86: here, queer & full of existential fear

Post by Catallena » Sat Jun 15, 2019 10:14 pm

And here I thought we left people sharing their hot takes on Dan and Phil in 2016. Even if there weren't any bad intentions from this guy, it's still rude and unnecessary. Limit yourself to roasting bad Instagram comedies if you're so uninteresting that you can only talk about others, but stop making (and definitely monetizing!) videos where you completely misinterpret the words of the person you're talking about and the activities of their fanbase.
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Re: Dan & Phil Part 86: here, queer & full of existential fear

Post by eevee » Sat Jun 15, 2019 10:17 pm

I have many thoughts. And many feelings. :gayaf:

I'll try to keep this brief!!

I'll say this video was beautiful and moving and it actually moved me to come out to my father (which I'd been thinking about doing all month) and on Facebook (same). So. Wow. Oooh. Look what you made me do. Look what you made me do. Look what you just made me do look what you just made me-

Okay, into some more analysis-y points I want to make/talk about now that I've had time to digest all of this and squee for a few days.

The first thing I want to say is I don't think we're talking abut the video's description enough, where Dan literally says he's GOING to talk about all of this more:
"Disclaimer - This video is just a starting point for me, what I felt was the bare minimum (ha) required for me to get this out there so I can move forward with my life, a mix of explanation, justification and opinion. It scratched the surface of several things I could have gone into more detail about, but the purpose of this was to be ..reasonably concise and above all entertaining. In the future, in the right places, I will surely talk much more about everything touched on in this video and more. It’s also likely that something will get misunderstood or misrepresented, perhaps from the way I phrased things or people assuming my thoughts on things that I didn’t specify. Also my story is just the truth of what happened to me and what I thought at certain points of time in my environment, good and bad - of course not my opinions today. So JUST to be clear my opinion on general sexual and gender identities are that everyone is valid and deserves equal rights and the freedom to exist. The only thing I don’t tolerate is intolerance. Cheers to an inevitable bright future, either because people become nice and the old people die or the sun explodes first lmao."
I was one of those "aaa it's all in the past tense and he's being thirsty" people too until I 1. faced the reality that they've been living together acting like a couple for so long that logically there's really no way they've broken up and are not together right now. Justifying that scenario takes much more ~*~mental gymnastics~*~ than the idea that they are together. and 2. this description. I think he's going to tell us. I think he's planning on telling us. But I think it was all just a little too much for him to do at once. Someone pointed out that he didn't tell his family he was with phil in the email, but I'd like to point out that he cut off the email screenshot, so he very well could have and just excluded it from the video.

I think he very purposefully kept it ambiguous because answering that question is too much for him right now, since it literally took him his entire 28 year life to come to complete terms with being gay, I can only assume him also going public with phil is a bit much.

Anyway I don't agree with the people saying that dan's made it clear we won't be hearing anything further. I think by the video alone it does seem like that. But by this description i think it's quite the opposite.

The next thing I want to talk about is Dan shaming the entire phandom for speculating and talking about him and phil.

This got to me the first time or two I heard it because I was one of those people. I've been in the phandom since about late 2010/early 2011, so I've witnessed the original dailybooth and formspring posts before they were even taken off their respective websites. Now, I don't even think phandom members can find them if they don't have them saved to their computer. It's a different time. But that's beside the point. Dan definitely seems bitter about all of us talking about how "he's bi" (he posted this on formspring multiple times) and how he's with phil. And clearly, it really affected and hurt Dan, because he wasn't ready to be out on a large scale. He explained it in this video. But I also feel...and please don't attack me...that Dan is a public figure. So I don't think it's wrong of us to not only look at things he himself posted, but also speculate. Is it invasive? Sure. Is it just a fact of our culture and human curiosity? Double sure. I really don't think there's any world in which Dan would've been in the spotlight and his fanbase wouldn't have speculated. As some of you have pointed out, we were looking into it because it was so damn beautiful and all of us were shook and are STILL shook to this day that a pure and beautiful love like this can really exist. But I can see that Dan thought we were evil crazy people trying to out him. I just would hope that soon he would come to terms with the reality that if you're in the public eye, people are going to be interested in your private life "like a soap opera." at the same time he 10000% has the right to keep it private and we DO have an obligation to respect that, meaning we shouldn't be demanding things from him. But I don't think that's the same as speculating. So, basically I feel like we are not in the wrong for using information provided to us by dan and phil to discuss and speculate. and I'd like Dan to come to that realization.

I also want to mention that the bisexual vibe is a real thing and it's not a bad thing!! :pride:

I'm sure there's more but I'm forgetting it all now and this post is long enough. Happy pride everyone!!!!
Alohomora wrote:
Sat Jun 15, 2019 9:15 pm
knq wrote:
Sat Jun 15, 2019 7:55 pm

Where are you seeing that? He identified as cis in his video so I'd be surprised (but of course not upset) if that were the case.
Yeah, I was also a little surprised when I saw it on his facebook (not his Youtube ex-Danisnotonfire facebook page just to be clear)! But to be fair I've changed the pronouns to they/them on my own fb account and I would hesitate to say I'm not cisgender. It's probably related to what he said in the video about not being too particularly attached to being a cis man, even while identifying as one.

For contrast, it looks like Phil's pronouns on facebook are still he/him. :shrug:
I've noticed a lot of people I have friended on Facebook who I assume wouldn't change their pronouns to they/them seemingly having they/them pronouns...with "_____ changed their profile picture." I assumed facebook just subtly changed everyone who didn't *set* specific pronouns to "they/them" so is it possible that's what happened?

edit: added quotes around "he's bi" because that's what we thought at the time but now we know he is gay
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Re: Dan & Phil Part 86: here, queer & full of existential fear

Post by whatdoiknow » Sat Jun 15, 2019 10:32 pm

obsessivelymoody wrote:
Sat Jun 15, 2019 9:51 pm
*coughs and walks away*
:stan:

Anywayyyyyy I havent spent a single second over the last few days not filled with so much pride and happiness for them :wavingflag: Despite people trying to start shit, I'm loving seeing so many people come back. It reminds me of 2015 before so many people started to lose interest, leave, etc., but a lot happier. It's a very nice feeling in this community :D

I'm really on the edge of my seat thinking about vidcon tho. I truly never thought we would see them at a convention again (hey, I also thought the same thing about them coming out and they did that so). I'm just curious as to how different this will be. I'm excited for the panels as I always was but given everything else I'm so curious about how it'll be different from past vidcons and conventions generally.
so much pride and happiness!

I'm also so curious to see what will happen at vidcon. How many weeks away is that? It's sometime in july right? I wonder if we'll get any joint content before that (or anymore solo content before that either), or if vidcon will be the first time we see them together. Because I know they're doing separate panels (which I'm so excited for!), but there's the meet and greet, and they're doing some sort of joint video thing for vidcon too right? I'm just very curious to see what the future holds, and very excited

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Re: Dan & Phil Part 86: here, queer & full of existential fear

Post by lanaaskyee » Sat Jun 15, 2019 10:35 pm

obsessivelymoody wrote:
Sat Jun 15, 2019 9:51 pm
^^ Yes to the above.

Imo, that video is a mixture of projection on Alex's part and his pretty obvious misunderstanding/unawareness of the Dan-phandom relationship timeline, and also the current state of the relationship now.

Vidcon will be interesting to see how that all unfolds. I, honestly, probably like many of you all, thought that we wouldn't get Dan and Phil at a YT convention really again, but those boys always seem to have a way to (happily) surprise us :D. When was the last YT con that they went to? 2016/2017? Super excited for the panels though!

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Re: Dan & Phil Part 86: here, queer & full of existential fear

Post by whatdoiknow » Sat Jun 15, 2019 10:44 pm

I suddenly just thought about the charlieskies things from 2013, and it was already super shitty then. But with all the context we have now about dan's childhood/teen years and all the homophobia he faced and how terrified he was about being gay and people knowing he was gay, that twitter interaction hits even harder. I'm sure charlie didn't know about dan's past or anything since I don't think they were close, but man that whole thing is even shittier to think about now

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Re: Dan & Phil Part 86: here, queer & full of existential fear

Post by eevee » Sat Jun 15, 2019 10:48 pm

whatdoiknow wrote:
Sat Jun 15, 2019 10:44 pm
I suddenly just thought about the charlieskies things from 2013, and it was already super shitty then. But with all the context we have now about dan's childhood/teen years and all the homophobia he faced and how terrified he was about being gay and people knowing he was gay, that twitter interaction hits even harder. I'm sure charlie didn't know about dan's past or anything since I don't think they were close, but man that whole thing is even shittier to think about now
oof hard agree
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Re: Dan & Phil Part 86: here, queer & full of existential fear

Post by Evening42 » Sat Jun 15, 2019 11:20 pm

Whatever Imalexx posted - he had some occasional good and a lot of badly misinformed points - the worst thing is that he didn’t blur the usernames of the fans he was shredding in the video. Now these people are at risk of being bullied themselves on line by others who disagree with their point of view. Bad move on Alex’s part

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