Dan & Phil Part 87: post coming out universe

Our two favourite full time internet nerds who never go outside!
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Phanshy
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Am I the only one here who thinks the reason Phil didn't go to pride was because he and Dan broke up and if they went together everyone would think they're a couple and if they went separately people would question why.
(I hope I'm wrong)

I think Dan is vocal about his activism because he was more problematic in the past than Phil.
Maybe Phil doesn't feel qualified to lecture people on things he hasn't experienced personally and would rather leave it to people who have, I also think sometimes the story gets lost when a celebrity talks about a issue, it's often the fandom of that celebrity that gets exited and the celebrity gets lauded but after the initial reaction to it the cause is forgotten but the celebrity is the main beneficiary of it.
I was a bit put out about Dan being a woke feminist deleting some mildly questionable videos regarding gender roles or other problematic things, yet vocally fanboying over a artist who has multiple misogynistic songs and videos demeaning women.
cocolero
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You know, as someone who has dealt with mental illness and also as someone who understands that the intersection of that and queerness is one of the most disfavored parts of society, I find it typical that people are expecting more from Phil just because they haven’t been allowed to see his struggles personally.

Phil is gay and has been supporting someone who suffers from emotional challenges - including suicide - for over a decade. Fuck anyone who doesn’t think that’s enough because they aren’t supporting their Minority of Choice in a way they think is appropriate.
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knq
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I don’t know what a suicide attempt Dan made as a minor and hadn’t discussed until this year has to do with Phil attending a pride parade or not, but... wow. Just. Wow.
Last edited by alittledizzy on Sun Jul 07, 2019 11:14 pm, edited 1 time in total.
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bestfriendsclub
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I just want to say one more thing about the Phil/Pride discussion. @phanfckingtastic Let's say you had the opportunity to go back in time and personally call Phil Lester and tell him to be a little more advocative and post a tweet about pride, and he did. How much does that actually help to end homophobia? If there was a scale, I'd say it's on the very low end, because Phil wouldn't be changing from a homophobic idiot to a gay rights advocate, he's just doing one more thing to help us, his audience of very diverse and queer people. If you want people to use their time, resources and platforms to maximize the amount of change for the better in the world, I'm not sure it's really worth your time to argue with people who A) don't seem likely to end up agreeing with you on this particular subject and B) are already fighting against homophobia. It might actually be more helpful for you to direct all your anger towards homophobic people and maybe try to change their minds instead of ours. We already agree that people need to stop being homophobic, so I don't think changing our minds is the best use of your time and your recources. Welp I'm going to go and argue with some transphobes in YouTube comments, and you can do whatever you so wish!
Last edited by bestfriendsclub on Sun Jul 07, 2019 10:09 pm, edited 1 time in total.
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bluntedclaws
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A month ago Phil was a sweet, quirky, humanly flawed guy who made entertaining videos on YouTube. Now Phil is a sweet, quirky, humanly flawed guy who makes entertaining videos on YouTube. The fact that he’s out as gay now doesn’t make him a different person. Nothing’s changed and that’s fine. Dan has always been loud and opinionated and involved in mental health and anti-bullying charities. Phil has always quietly supported him from the sidelines.
Sorry if I say something wrong. My first language is sarcasm. I've never really learned English
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alittledizzy
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Phanshy wrote: Sun Jul 07, 2019 9:33 pm Am I the only one here who thinks the reason Phil didn't go to pride was because he and Dan broke up and if they went together everyone would think they're a couple and if they went separately people would question why.
I think a much more sensible reason is that Dan was invited to march with a group, and Phil wasn't?

If Stonewall didn't invite Phil to march with them, they've have been attending separately even if Phil was there. Dan seemed to have hung around for maybe 20-30 minutes afterwards chatting and taking pictures with fans (and, lbr, showing off his sequined blazer) before going home so it's not like he hit the afterparties or did any events aside from marching specifically with the group that invited him to march with them. There's a fan tweet from someone who got a selfie with him then said he got in a taxi right after and left.
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Who wants to bet the BBC interview is super anticlimactic because we've been hyped for it for so long? And, even though we know it'll be ~90 seconds, that when it happens people will be disappointed?

I'm still looking forward to it, though. I'm curious and it's nice to see his face and see what he prioritizes in such a short time for such a broad audience.

(I agree with Mandy that probably charities didn't invite Phil, in part potentially because his video was so close to Pride, and also partially because it wasn't as much of a media Thing. And as much as I would've liked to see Phil and Bryony being random humans at Pride, it would be fairly strange and not necessarily fun for Phil if Dan was marching for a charity and Phil to just be randomly separate in the crowd.)
Last edited by Templeofshame on Sun Jul 07, 2019 10:20 pm, edited 1 time in total.
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Phanshy wrote: Sun Jul 07, 2019 9:33 pm Am I the only one here who thinks the reason Phil didn't go to pride was because he and Dan broke up and if they went together everyone would think they're a couple and if they went separately people would question why.
(I hope I'm wrong)
No you're not, this is what I thought the moment I saw Dan was there alone, and have thought frequently since Dan's video tbh.
alittledizzy wrote: Sun Jul 07, 2019 10:10 pm I think a much more sensible reason is that Dan was invited to march with a group, and Phil wasn't?
I just can't buy into this, so they ask Dan and when he suggests Phil, they just said "HE CAN'T SIT WITH US!!!" instead of inviting him too? Naaah.
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knq
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alittledizzy wrote: Sun Jul 07, 2019 10:10 pm
Phanshy wrote: Sun Jul 07, 2019 9:33 pm Am I the only one here who thinks the reason Phil didn't go to pride was because he and Dan broke up and if they went together everyone would think they're a couple and if they went separately people would question why.
I think a much more sensible reason is that Dan was invited to march with a group, and Phil wasn't?

If Stonewall didn't invite Phil to march with them, they've have been attending separately even if Phil was there. Dan seemed to have hung around for maybe 20-30 minutes afterwards chatting and taking pictures with fans (and, lbr, showing off his sequined blazer) before going home so it's not like he hit the afterparties or did any events aside from marching specifically with the group that invited him to march with them. There's a fan tweet from someone who got a selfie with him then said he got in a taxi right after and left.
Unless they separately invited Dan’s manager I’m assuming they gave him a plus one and would have accepted Phil’s support as well.

I don’t see the need to defend Phil’s decision not to be at London pride. Neither does Phil based on his tweet. He hasn’t done anything wrong by not being there.
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obsessivelymoody
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Can we go back to what Catallena said about it being none of our business whether Phil attended or not? Do I wish he tweeted or something? Yeah I guess so. Am I bothered that he didn't? No. It's not up to me. I always want more communication from them. Always. But we just aren't going to get it unless they completely change the way they interact with us online. Phil likes to keep his professional and personal live very separate. We know this. Phil also doesn't express any kind of political opinion. Ever. We also know this. I always want him to say more, or to say anything. But he isn't going to. Tbh I was shocked he made a whole video about his experience with being gay. I thought we were only going to to get the tweet. And I think that's more than enough. I don't understand why he suddenly has to shift into some kind of activist since he came out, or why that's such a pressing thing for him to do. Dan's a self-proclaimed (on several occasions!) member of the politics fandom. We have learned to expect this from Dan. He's an ambassador for a mental health charity ffs. Is Phil? No. And that's okay! Because that's never been what Phil's about! Dan constantly changes, and he does it loudly. Phil is the completely opposite.

And anyway, I don't see why it's unlikely Dan was the only one invited, based on the fact that Phil isn't into political stuff, not to mention massive crowds? Dan and Phil have done things on their own. Supergamers documentary anyone? And that's just one example. They don't need to be joined at the hip to do everything and we know this. Why does rationality go out the window when we see them separate at one occasion? How does that cancel everything else we know out?

I just want to say again, pride doesn't make or break you as a queer person. Pride happens 365 days a year. One day doesn't change the actions that are done on another day, even if there's a parade that is rooted in protest.
GalaxyDarling
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They can keep their relationship to themselves for all I care, but I hope they tell us whether they are planning to do videos together anymore. That's the real public interest. That's their career. The relationship status would most likely affect those plans though.
Amiaw
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The way Phil worded his tweet didn’t make it sound
Like this was a one off, it sounded like he had reasons for not going and that’s okay. He never become involved with Young Minds when dan did and hasn’t tried to speak at events before so the fact that he didn’t go and March is very much in character for Phil.
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alittledizzy
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knq wrote: Sun Jul 07, 2019 10:25 pm
alittledizzy wrote: Sun Jul 07, 2019 10:10 pm
Phanshy wrote: Sun Jul 07, 2019 9:33 pm Am I the only one here who thinks the reason Phil didn't go to pride was because he and Dan broke up and if they went together everyone would think they're a couple and if they went separately people would question why.
I think a much more sensible reason is that Dan was invited to march with a group, and Phil wasn't?

If Stonewall didn't invite Phil to march with them, they've have been attending separately even if Phil was there. Dan seemed to have hung around for maybe 20-30 minutes afterwards chatting and taking pictures with fans (and, lbr, showing off his sequined blazer) before going home so it's not like he hit the afterparties or did any events aside from marching specifically with the group that invited him to march with them. There's a fan tweet from someone who got a selfie with him then said he got in a taxi right after and left.
Unless they separately invited Dan’s manager I’m assuming they gave him a plus one and would have accepted Phil’s support as well.

I don’t see the need to defend Phil’s decision not to be at London pride. Neither does Phil based on his tweet. He hasn’t done anything wrong by not being there.
I'm not trying to defend his decision not to be there so much as countering the idea that Dan and Phil didn't attend together because they broke up.

To be clear: I do not think his decision needs defending. It's his to make.
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Birdie
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What the fuck is going on here? :insert that gif of that one guy coming into a burning room with pizza:

In other news: I loved Dan’s pictures from Pride so much and I love how hyped the community was over them, this is the best timeline, we’re blessed. London Pride was my first Pride too and its so big it can be overwhelming but he looked so happy. :prideheart2:

Also can we not jump to conclusions? There are a million reasons Phil might have skipped Pride, from social anxiety to just not wanting to go, which is just as valid as any other reason. I don’t know why y’all are connecting him not being at Pride to Dan in any way, I doubt it had anything to with him and all to do with Phil’s personal reason for not going and it’s literally not our business, like someone else has pointed out already.
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knq
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alittledizzy wrote: Sun Jul 07, 2019 10:45 pm
knq wrote: Sun Jul 07, 2019 10:25 pm
alittledizzy wrote: Sun Jul 07, 2019 10:10 pm
Phanshy wrote: Sun Jul 07, 2019 9:33 pm Am I the only one here who thinks the reason Phil didn't go to pride was because he and Dan broke up and if they went together everyone would think they're a couple and if they went separately people would question why.
I think a much more sensible reason is that Dan was invited to march with a group, and Phil wasn't?

If Stonewall didn't invite Phil to march with them, they've have been attending separately even if Phil was there. Dan seemed to have hung around for maybe 20-30 minutes afterwards chatting and taking pictures with fans (and, lbr, showing off his sequined blazer) before going home so it's not like he hit the afterparties or did any events aside from marching specifically with the group that invited him to march with them. There's a fan tweet from someone who got a selfie with him then said he got in a taxi right after and left.
Unless they separately invited Dan’s manager I’m assuming they gave him a plus one and would have accepted Phil’s support as well.

I don’t see the need to defend Phil’s decision not to be at London pride. Neither does Phil based on his tweet. He hasn’t done anything wrong by not being there.
I'm not trying to defend his decision not to be there so much as countering the idea that Dan and Phil didn't attend together because they broke up.
I feel like the natural reaction to Phil not being with Dan at a parade should be 'Phil no like parades' and not 'Phil no like Dan.' We have a lot more evidence that Phil likes Dan than we do that Phil likes parades.

I just don't find it very convincing that Phil wouldn't have been there because he wasn't invited when Dan brought Mike Cook with him and when charities generally appreciate support from influencers. But I also don't find it very convincing that Dan and Phil break up every time we see one of them in public without the other, so. :shrug:
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I was browing twitter and saw this tweet from earlier
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sapienveneficus
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Amiaw wrote: Sun Jul 07, 2019 11:08 pm I was browing twitter and saw this tweet from earlier
They're leaving for VidCon a few days early. Does this mean they'll have time to film...COLLABS?

I'm crossing fingers and toes that Phil gets to film with Safiya. That's all I want! Well, no, there are so many things I want, but that would be awesome!
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Quite a weekend, then; maybe Phil was packing.
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Ataraxia25
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Amiaw wrote: Sun Jul 07, 2019 11:08 pm I was browing twitter and saw this tweet from earlier
And now i think of all the cute stories of them on a plane that they've shared with us.
:gayaf:
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Templeofshame wrote: Sun Jul 07, 2019 11:27 pm Quite a weekend, then; maybe Phil was packing.
I'd actually bet this is the case of why he didn't attend pride instead of *dramatic music* a break up or anything. Especially since we know he's been out to friends and family now for several years, it likely didn't feel like a super big deal for him (unlike dan, who only came out to his parents in the last few months). We don't know their actual lives, maybe he did smaller pride things with friends instead to celebrate, that fits more with what we know about phil as a person anyway.

I also want to add that his decision to not go is totally valid and while it's cool if people have their own emotional process around someone they stan not being more involved with something they care about, no one should feel obligated to do x,y, and z as a person of the queer community. I'd argue phil coming out to his audience and actively cultivating a safe space in his corner of the internet does waaaay more for lgbt+ people than him going to the actual physical pride parade or not.
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alittledizzy
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Ataraxia25 wrote: Sun Jul 07, 2019 11:45 pm
Amiaw wrote: Sun Jul 07, 2019 11:08 pm I was browing twitter and saw this tweet from earlier
And now i think of all the cute stories of them on a plane that they've shared with us.
I'll actually be satisfied if Phil does his typical plane story delay and 'announces' they're flying tomorrow with some ig stories.
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alittledizzy wrote: Sun Jul 07, 2019 11:47 pm I'll actually be satisfied if Phil does his typical plane story delay and 'announces' they're flying tomorrow with some ig stories.
I just said the same thing on twitter lol. I bet if they get out of the airport unspotted we'll get a whole series documenting his journey tomorrow. It would be funny even if they do get spotted, just pretend he's on a plane while he's at Disney or something.
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Sarcasm alert: Phil didn’t go to Pride bc he had to take their new dog (s) to the kennel. Then he had to do laundry for himself and Dan and make sure he booked the car in the correct time zone and that he knew where Dans passport was. Then he had to make sure he made a big stink to the Vidon hotel loudly demanding there be only one king size bed in their hotel room. Oh and he had to make all the arrangements for their Vegas wedding that Cat is going to perform before they even get to Vidcon. end sarcasm. My attempt at humor amongst those funny peeps I so admire here. Pls don’t come for me!
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Ataraxia25
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Susanisnotafish wrote: Sun Jul 07, 2019 11:50 pm Sarcasm alert: Phil didn’t go to Pride bc he had to take their new dog (s) to the kennel. Then he had to do laundry for himself and Dan and make sure he booked the car in the correct time zone and that he knew where Dans passport was. Then he had to make sure he made a big stink to the Vidon hotel loudly demanding there be only one king size bed in their hotel room. Oh and he had to make all the arrangements for their Vegas wedding that Cat is going to perform before they even get to Vidcon. end sarcasm. My attempt at humor amongst those funny peeps I so admire here. Pls don’t come for me!

Yep, he couldn't attend because he was feverishly checking the pockets of every single pair of jeans that dan owns to find the passport. lmao
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sapienveneficus
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Ataraxia25 wrote: Sun Jul 07, 2019 11:53 pm
Susanisnotafish wrote: Sun Jul 07, 2019 11:50 pm Sarcasm alert: Phil didn’t go to Pride bc he had to take their new dog (s) to the kennel. Then he had to do laundry for himself and Dan and make sure he booked the car in the correct time zone and that he knew where Dans passport was. Then he had to make sure he made a big stink to the Vidon hotel loudly demanding there be only one king size bed in their hotel room. Oh and he had to make all the arrangements for their Vegas wedding that Cat is going to perform before they even get to Vidcon. end sarcasm. My attempt at humor amongst those funny peeps I so admire here. Pls don’t come for me!

Yep, he couldn't attend because he was feverishly checking the pockets of every single pair of jeans that dan owns to find the passport. lmao
He also had to run to the local bakery and pickup a pistachio muffin for Dan
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