Dan & Phil Part 89: So what now?

[Phantasy]

Love that he’s trending, (even more proof the YT algorithm is finally calibrated more fairly towards creators), I wonder if the AP audience resonates more with his longer-form creative videos or because he opened up more than usual (or perhaps both).

I really applaud their trepidation when it comes to not sharing and monetizing their relationship (outside of a collaborative sense), but I hope as much as D&P have grown as creators and persons, we too as an audience have also grown and matured and can handle things better than in the past—what I mean is I hope they don’t go too far in the direction of trying not to be perceived as “cashing in” on their relationship that they in a sense become even more secretive and protecting. It’s a tricky balance, I’m sure. And when Phil goes about trying to strike that well-rounded balance he’s looking for, I hope it includes a bit more openness about his thoughts and feelings and less about trying to wear the mask of the happy-go-lucky entertainer.

[Catallena]

I'm so happy that the video is trending! Phil deserves the world after that

[knq]

Aw, Phily. I'm still feeling overwhelmingly sad, but it's really lovely to see him shining under the approval of YouTube and fan comments. I don't think I've ever seen him post a fan comment to IG stories before. (It was a magnificent seal on wheels.)

[bevioletsky]

Now that my brain isn’t muddled with fatigue and adrenaline and anxiety all at once like it was last night, I’d like to try to make the jumble of thoughts in my head resemble something at least semi-coherent. Don’t know if I’ll succeed, but writing it down usually works so we shall see. It’s very possible that all of this has already been said, sorry if that’s the case.

I’m proud of him for feeling comfortable enough to share some of this more serious background stuff. It’s a bit like how my initial reaction after COTY was just how proud of him I was considering how difficult I still think publishing that video was for him, illustrated by his temptation to just make a five-second coming out video and leave it at that. He’s private and sharing can be scary, I can only imagine how much so with an audience like his. But when he does share the way he tends to do it is something I really admire. He somehow has this ability to express even some highly sad and complex feelings while simultaneously not leaving you feeling overwhelmingly sad about it. See, for example, how in the coming out vid he talks about the guilt and shame he felt as a young gay person or tells how his friend outed him when he was at university, or in this video everything about his dad’s illness and death in the family. (Sidenote: Phil reccing anime for his dad to watch is super adorable to me.) Maybe it’s all the reassuring and positive messaging he pairs the negativity with, as well as his overall presence, but I think there’s also something about the way in which he very matter-of-factly tells these things when he feels like he’s ready and probably has had some distance and time to process everything. It seems very healthy and mature to me. Though in this video he also mentions how sometimes he does wish people would know when he’s having a hard time with something, but also how he doesn’t want to add his own worries on top of ours – expectedly, considering his position of keeping his channel as something that is mostly positive and allows for a bit of a distraction and an escape from reality. I don’t know, this all just made me think of communication and connecting with us and what he sees as his responsibility as a creator.

The part where he said he realised he doesn’t really have a life made me a bit emotional, though to be fair I think as an adult having four friends in the same city as you isn’t too bad at all (said as an introverted person whose friends are definitely scattered in different cities and even around the world now). I mean it’s not like it’s surprising that he has put incredible amounts of time and effort into his career for years now, and he and Dan do always seem kind of serious about not having too many friends, but I guess I just think that Phil is a lot more #relatable than people sometimes give him credit for (also me whenever he mentions the word anxiety). Like, sure he’s weird too, but. “I think the next project should be to give myself a more well-rounded existence” is just a great quote. I hope you manage just that, Phil.

I feel like perhaps I should be sadder about the gaming channel than I am seeing it was how I discovered them, and I have enjoyed and preferred them together since then, but somehow I’m not even feeling particularly bittersweet. Well, a little bit, sometimes, whenever they’re being quiet, and also about liveshows, but mostly not. I’m not sure where this chill that I’ve had the whole year, really, is coming from but I just find myself here for whatever they decide to do next. Intellectually I understand the sadness and the anxiety over uncertainty, but I’m just not feeling it. Besides, at least now compared to the early months of the year, we have much less reason to feel apocalyptic about the future – we will get more joint videos, and I’m even expecting at least one more video this year from Dan (crazy, I know. I thought it dangerous of him to begin a response to a tweet by typing the words ‘my next youtube video’ yesterday). I hope they don’t go radio silent for weeks on end without notice though, because that’s when I start to miss them, and to that point I do hope that the people pointing out how Phil said he wanted to come out to feel comfortable talking about parts of his life publicly going forward are right about us potentially getting to see some more of their life off-screen in the future. This makes me fully trash, and insert something pretentious about parasocial relationships here, but their instastories and other peeks into their life do really give me so much joy. The two of them just make me eternally soft and wanting to cry, in a good way. They’re sweet and strong together and I love to witness it.

I also wanted to write something about the way he talks about Dan in the video constantly, often even by name and by drawing him, but also subtly and casually and without statements at the same time, but as usual I’m running out of time and other people have probably already said everything about it anyway. I cannot believe he went there with a house and a dog as examples of life things to do. We thought they were going to happen but if there ever was confirmation of the fact. The universe decided to spite me personally by robbing us of a house renovating series and a travel show, what the hell? Overall the video was just Good and I’m glad that Phil seems glad about the reception.

[greenergrass]

Random thought from phil's video - I wonder if his '4 friends in london' include dan, martyn and cornelia, even though those are technically boyfriend and family. (The 4th person being bryony obviously).

Or does he mean 4 friends in the literal definition of the word, meaning bryony and 3 other friends (or even bryony and dan plus 2 other friends since him and dan could qualify as friends even though they are more than that)

I think 4 friends outside of martyn, cornelia and dan (or even 3 friends outside of martyn, cornelia, and dan) in his city is actually a pretty well-rounded relationship life since that would be 6-7 close relationships in his area.

Thoughts?

[noodlebum]

Yeah I see no problem having only 4 friends in the same city as you. I've got 4 here, not counting work colleagues who I quite like but don't hang out with at the weekend, or people who live a couple of hours away. Still only 8 including in other countries. Don't see them that often. And i'm not interested in making other friends either, stuff that, way too much effort and possible drama

Phil had a lot of friends in school and university though, so maybe it feels weird to him for it to dwindle. It's pretty normal after education though, not having that reason to see each other every day.

[nicky1388]

okay. so, no one was probably wondering where i was, but given that i've posted alot recently and then never posted a reaction to the new video, maybe you were wondering. whatever. the point is: i'm here now.

i've taken time to process the video, watch it 3 different times and read everyone else's opinions on it. now i want to share my take (although some points closely align with those already mentioned).

first off, i love that this was how he chose to open up to us. it felt like he was able to be more vulnerable and real in this way simply due to format. he didn't have to stare down a camera and he was able to kind of ramble freely as he wanted.

second, i actually think that parts of this vid were more collaborative than it seemed. as has been pointed out, Dan&Phil, the entertainment duo, is definantly going to be taking a back seat to individual efforts and this doesn't surprise me. they've said before "we're not Ant & Dec or Jack & Dean". i think they were glad for the opportunity to work so much together but they're very different creators and i'm glad they're getting back to that. HOWEVER, they're still a couple and a unit behind the scenes and it shows in videos like this. in BiG, Phil let Dan take the lead and talk about their relationship and frame it for the past and present. yes, Dan joked about "cute mutuals sliding into the dms", but that's how Dan jokes. he takes serious moments and makes them light hearted in what i believe is an effort to make himself more comfortable. it was Phil's job with DML2 to frame their relationship going forwards and add a bit more to their storied past as well. all the major business/personal (non-family) issues were framed with so much "we/our" it was almost funny. it was really illustrating that they are a strong unit who have made it through SOOO much together to get where they are and now they want to enjoy it. buy their forever house and find their dog and who knows what else. he (read: they) needed to come out so he could share other things about his life going forward. if that doesn't speak to a joint personal future, i don't know what does.

i'm so glad that he mentioned that lots of things were risks, because i had no idea. i didn't realize how much they risked for us in order to move to London and really pursue youtube and everything that followed but i am so grateful to them for it and this video gives me a new lens to see some of their older videos through with a new sense of appreciation.

i was absolutely devastated to hear that he worked through such heavy personal issues alone/off-camera and i think it really speaks again to how different he and dan are as creators. phil has always been more focused on light-hearted, enjoyable content that provides entertainment to the viewer and i cannot wait to see how he goes foreward with that.

dan has always felt a bit more raw and real (while still extremely guarded) and heavier. his content is made to help and provide relatablitiy.

people are mourning the loss of the gaming channel and i get that, but i think it'll be better. i think it'll make the joint content that much better when we do get it. nice little surprises to put smiles on our faces.

in general, i'm so excited to see what they both do moving foreward. i hope dan continues to wait months in between content and upload absolute masterpieces. i hope Phil learns to sit down and take time for himself and then creates cute mini-movies (and even longer pieces, who knows) like he used to because that was some awesome content. i hope now that they've come out and now laid the foundation of the next stage of their life that maybe we will get a little bit more social media content because things like twitter and instagram are easy to create quick bite-sized content to keep fans involved without exerting too much effort.

i hope the phandom lets them rest and recover and become who they want to be. they're growing up and we get to grow with them and i can't wait for this new era to really take hold.

[Birdie]

I'm amazed at how well done that video was and I'm glad he feels so comfortable with sharing all of those stories now. It makes a lot of his (their?) content from 2013-2018 appear in a new light but not in a bad way. Knowing more about what was going on behind the scenes makes it easier to understand some of it and I'm just glad they're finally sharing all this stuff and don't feel like they need to hold back anymore.

I think what I like best is that he managed to get across how much hard work went into his career and how the Youtube life isn't just fun, glamour and truckloads of money. I'm gonna be honest, I'd have never thought they were struggling in 2013 or before Tatinof. They were already super popular back then and people just assumed they'd have to be doing well. That's what I found most #relatable about the video, really, because he might be an internationally famous internet personality, but his struggles with money and his career sound a lot like what most people are going through in their twenties.

I'm sad that the joint content is officially done for now but I kind of saw it coming. They were never really comfortable with being seen as a joint brand and I feel like it's no coincidence that they've decided to drop it now that they're financially secure enough to take Youtube more lightly again and do what they want. I'm excited to see what they'll do in the future.

[apathy]

I keep thinking about the "Do you feel like you know the real D&P" (however it was phrased, haven't rewatched recently) question from II and how, within the script of the show, they kind of implied that "Yes" was the 'correct' or expected answer, at least as far as how the personalities we see are more or less their real personalities, just enhanced/filtered for entertainment value.

It's a big contrast to the last few videos where the answer feels like a strong "No" - we don't know what they've really been through or are going through or what they're fighting behind the scenes. And we're not always going to, because privacy and many other reasons. It's a good reminder.

But it does sound like we're heading toward the new era of Giving the People What D&P Want. I hope it's a great thing for them, because if they're happy, it will show in what we get to see of it.

[bluecaterpillar]

Random thought from phil's video - I wonder if his '4 friends in london' include dan, martyn and cornelia, even though those are technically boyfriend and family. (The 4th person being bryony obviously).

Or does he mean 4 friends in the literal definition of the word, meaning bryony and 3 other friends (or even bryony and dan plus 2 other friends since him and dan could qualify as friends even though they are more than that)

I think 4 friends outside of martyn, cornelia and dan (or even 3 friends outside of martyn, cornelia, and dan) in his city is actually a pretty well-rounded relationship life since that would be 6-7 close relationships in his area.

Thoughts?

i assumed that the four friends he was referring to are bryony, wirrow, martyn and cornelia, although technically martynelia are family. dan's constant presence in phil's life can already be taken for granted and given that they live together they don't need to phone up and make plans in order to hang out.

I keep thinking about the "Do you feel like you know the real D&P" (however it was phrased, haven't rewatched recently) question from II and how, within the script of the show, they kind of implied that "Yes" was the 'correct' or expected answer, at least as far as how the personalities we see are more or less their real personalities, just enhanced/filtered for entertainment value.

It's a big contrast to the last few videos where the answer feels like a strong "No" - we don't know what they've really been through or are going through or what they're fighting behind the scenes. And we're not always going to, because privacy and many other reasons. It's a good reminder.

i'd argue that there's a difference between knowing what their personalities are like vs knowing the details of what's going on behind the scenes/in their private life. dan straight up said in his recent-ish bbc interview that his audience does know the real him. finding out that they were secretly working on a project which never saw the light of day, or that phil had a rough year while his dad was being treated for cancer, doesn't recalibrate my idea of who dan and phil are as people. it just lifts the curtain on a lot of stuff that's happened to them and gives a new context to their content from 2013 and onwards.

[apathy]

I keep thinking about the "Do you feel like you know the real D&P" (however it was phrased, haven't rewatched recently) question from II and how, within the script of the show, they kind of implied that "Yes" was the 'correct' or expected answer, at least as far as how the personalities we see are more or less their real personalities, just enhanced/filtered for entertainment value.

It's a big contrast to the last few videos where the answer feels like a strong "No" - we don't know what they've really been through or are going through or what they're fighting behind the scenes. And we're not always going to, because privacy and many other reasons. It's a good reminder.

i'd argue that there's a difference between knowing what their personalities are like vs knowing the details of what's going on behind the scenes/in their private life. dan straight up said in his recent-ish bbc interview that his audience does know the real him. finding out that they were secretly working on a project which never saw the light of day, or that phil had a rough year while his dad was being treated for cancer, doesn't recalibrate my idea of who dan and phil are as people. it just lifts the curtain on a lot of stuff that's happened to them and gives a new context to their content from 2013 and onwards.

There is a difference, for sure. That's kind of the contrast I meant - what we know vs what we don't. Even if we mostly know their personalities (apparently the focus in II), there are still going to be things we don't know that affect them as real people in pretty significant ways - unless they choose to share it, as Phil said. Which is a good thing for their sake, and probably ours too.

It just struck me as them giving us a different viewpoint to other side of the same question. I'm aware that I'm probably overthinking it.

[obvsly]

On a lighter note, I stumbled upon a comment on dml2 that just said

"your boyfriend is better looking"

and I just sat

The commenter, judging from the profile picture, is clearly male. I'm not sure if that is a factor in anything though. But this comment in dml2, where we didn't get to see dan at all apart from phil's doodle of him, is so random it's hilarious. I don't even think it's malicious. If anything, it's like a strange compliment. I'm very sorry now I didn't think to take a screenshot of it.

[obsessivelymoody]

I think if Phil hadn't uploaded too late in the day for me to watch and I hadn't gotten too drunk to watch the video coherently last night (lol) I would have gone nuts and written a whole ass essay. But I watched the video this morning and had a lot of time to process it, as well as 3 pages to read back here, which was so nice.

Anyway. I really enjoyed the video, and was quite surprised that he went as deep as he did. I feel for him, and I commend him and am proud of him, for sharing so much and finally feeling like he can take a breath.

My first thought while watching the video was a huge reminder of when tabinof/tatinof were announced and how awful the whole thing was (tl;dr for anyone who wasn't around: the phandom was on fire, people were yelling about them being sell-outs, freaking out about what this meant for content at the time, were actually very mean about the whole thing in some spaces. it was very tense). I couldn't help but think about that when he was talking about projects and mainstream media/the news, and how much that must have hurt to have their fanbase turn into that too.

I also felt my heart break for the deaths and everything his dad went through. I've been through similar stuff and it fucking sucks and having that with all the other stuff piled on top of it is unimaginably rough. And his realization of his loneliness and feeling stuck in his work hit very hard. I'm excited for them to find their balance in life, and be able to comfortably take that breath.

I do love all the we/us/ours in the video too

All in all, I'm honestly very excited. This feels like the actual words on the page telling me it's the next chapter, instead of me just *feeling* like it is. I'm excited to see where we get to follow them next, and I'm excited to honestly spend the foreseeable future following them in their endeavours. It's bittersweet, though, because the last couple chapters have been so damn nice, but I'm really excited for the future.

[Phantasy]

It’s probably appropriate that we’ll likely never know, but I wonder how they they deal with relationship stresses, not just mild domestic quibbles like leaving a cupboard open or a sock on a table, but major issues when and if they come up. Living together, working together and the stresses of running a business, compounded by various degrees of mental health and depression, little social life and only a small circle of mostly overlapping friends—any one of those can sink a relationship, I just wonder how they cope sometimes.

I know they have their little escapes (probably why Guild Wars is so important to Dan), but makes me wonder if while they were go go go with their career for so long that maybe their own relationship has sort of been pushed to the back, not in a broken up or paused kind of way, but sort of an autopilot mode that some relationships find themselves in? I think they’ve hinted pretty well that the “hiatus” was also about taking time to assess their relationship and future along with how to (or not to) present that to the public.

I guess what I’m getting at is I’d love to know their secret! On the surface they have a healthy, long term, monogamous relationship... for a millennial couple to be together for 10 years is inspiring, add that they are a successful gay couple and there’s so little representation for that type of relationship, especially in media and pop culture. I’m sure the last thing they want is spotlight and to be put on a pedestal (like Dan said he wants the freedom to make mistakes), but it would be really interesting and inspiring to hear some of their advice and secrets for staying a couple and best friends for so many years.

[bantsandpheels]

I guess what I’m getting at is I’d love to know their secret! On the surface they have a healthy, long term, monogamous relationship... for a millennial couple to be together for 10 years is inspiring, add that they are a successful gay couple and there’s so little representation for that type of relationship, especially in media and pop culture. I’m sure the last thing they want is spotlight and to be put on a pedestal (like Dan said he wants the freedom to make mistakes), but it would be really interesting and inspiring to hear some of their advice and secrets for staying a couple and best friends for so many years.

SAME. They are such goals, and I'd love more than anything to be able to learn from their successes.

Edit: I know it will never happen, but I'd kill for them to do a podcast in the same vein as Casey Neistat's Couples Therapy. Maybe in 10 years?

[plinthofmylife]

Phil's video crossed 1million views. I'm really proud of him. To get that kind of views on a non-drama, non-clickbait video that is just him telling the personal story of his life, with admittedly bad drawings - he really does have staying power in youtube, despite the fact that he's not "new youtube" or a drama-fueled channel.

By contrast, Tyler Oakley, another long-time creator with double Phil's subscribers - who probably is more "new youtube" than Phil - averages ~120K views a video and hasn't crossed a million views on a vid in over 3 years - I say that not at all to pit Tyler against Phil, but simply to answer people that say Phil's view counts are worrying.

I am proud of my boys. They're good peeps.

[glitterintheair]

Very happy about Phil's views and I think that Dan and Phil coming out made people who were kinda drifting away interested in them again (not only that, but new people are joining the phandom too). This is the new, most honest and open version of dnp that we've been waiting for years, so I'm not surprised that it's sparking interest and curiosity.

[autumnhearth]

Random thought from phil's video - I wonder if his '4 friends in london' include dan, martyn and cornelia, even though those are technically boyfriend and family. (The 4th person being bryony obviously).

Or does he mean 4 friends in the literal definition of the word, meaning bryony and 3 other friends (or even bryony and dan plus 2 other friends since him and dan could qualify as friends even though they are more than that)

I think 4 friends outside of martyn, cornelia and dan (or even 3 friends outside of martyn, cornelia, and dan) in his city is actually a pretty well-rounded relationship life since that would be 6-7 close relationships in his area.

Thoughts?

What about Adam? Does he live in London? He has joined them for game nights in the last year or two. I definitely don’t think he’s counting Dan and *probably* not Martyn and Cornelia. Though if I didn’t count my partner and siblings I’d have only one local friend, so

I really am very excited for their independent projects and content on and off of YouTube. Seeing them both trending these past few months fills me with pride and I can picture them both being Kings of YouTube in their own right. Not from putting out frequent content, but just really well received videos. I just really hope they follow through with the “occasional” joint content (preferably on it’s own channel) in the future. I don’t think we’ll get a sense for what the new normal is until well into 2020.

I hope they meant it when they said that baking would never get old, interesting that Phil’s example of the one thing they haven’t made together was a cookbook (I’m totally here for cooking too). I’m not asking for Dan and Phil Bakes (though they once joked it would be more popular that their gaming channel) just one baking video a year would be fine. Pick a holiday/occasion, but please start with Christmas this year!

Please let muckbangs become an annual tradition, as long as Dan is comfortable with it. May I suggest sushi? Heck one could just be sweets, get giddy on that sugar!

I don’t know if it’s foolish to hope for DITLs anymore, I guess the week in the life counted. I get that they think their life is boring, but they almost had a travel show! Again just once a year... starting next year? The first one could just be A Day in the Life with/of Our Dog. Take us to the dog park and a dog friendly cafe, maybe the groomers? See? Easy content!

Of course we want a Try New Things series, again it doesn’t have to be frequent! Twice a year or quarterly (one activity per season) would be lovely.

And for goodness sake give us Viewers Pick My Outfits Part 2. You drew it Philly, now follow through!

All of these could easily go on Amazingphil and that’s great if it takes pressure off of his video quota, but I kinda would like to see his videos stand on their own and not have his most popular vids be the ones that feature Dan. Is that naive? Well whatever makes them comfortable, but a collab channel doesn’t need to have weekly uploads.

I listed five annual ideas. I’m sure we could come up with seven more. Throw in a craft for Halloween or Easter, it could even be like an Instagram hack for dying eggs that goes horrible wrong! They sure do have a lot of board games, surely they could film themselves playing one or utterly fail at playing a new one. Do it as a review! #spon

And I know, I know they feel like they closed the book on Dil’s life and I don’t need Dab and Evan to have their own series, but can we please end on that Big Gay Wedding Dan mentioned? It would be so damn satisfying in this post coming out universe


I realize this sounds like a list of demands and may seem contrary to wanting them to do what Dan and Phil want, but a girl can dream. And I’m not saying they should get right on it. I hope they take the rest of this year easy and find out what works for them next year. I’ll settle for domestic Instagram stories. But if they ever wanted to rebrand the gaming channel, I think this could be a good approach.

[noodlebum]

I love all your ideas @autumnhearth and you're right, a joint channel doesn't mean it has to have a regular upload schedule. Just somewhere to put any fun little joint videos together away from their own channels, be it seasonal or whenever inspiration strikes. Also so, like you said, videos where they both feature don't end up being their most watched on their separate channels, and can focus on their own styles and passions separately as well as give the fun stuff they enjoy doing together it's own place.

But yes Dab and Evans big gay wedding ought to be the last Sims video if they are going to end that series (which they probably should/will)


What/when do people think will Dan's next video will be?

[plinthofmylife]

I love 100% of your suggestions @autumnhearth - and I have to say, though I don't have high hopes, I really really am hopeful there will be a Devan wedding. I think they both expressed their interest in a gay wedding, and how perfect in a PCOU?

No demands, just hopes.

[formlessblobsunite]

I'm here for the Devan wedding! they might as well play the wedding of their dreams on the Sims because when they actually get married, I'm not sure how much of that wedding we'll see, if at all.

[onemoresock]

@autumnhearth I'm pretty sure I would pay real life money for even half of your list to become reality.

But honest to god Philip, if nothing else, please give us another boyfriend viewers pick my outfits. Pls. Or better yet, Dan and Phil choose each others outfits. It's all I want in this cold, dark world.

[woopdada]

On a lighter note, I stumbled upon a comment on dml2 that just said

"your boyfriend is better looking"

and I just sat

The commenter, judging from the profile picture, is clearly male. I'm not sure if that is a factor in anything though. But this comment in dml2, where we didn't get to see dan at all apart from phil's doodle of him, is so random it's hilarious. I don't even think it's malicious. If anything, it's like a strange compliment. I'm very sorry now I didn't think to take a screenshot of it.

https://pseudophan.tumblr.com/post/1871 ... ideo-to-be

I saw that on tumblr. Made me snort too

[autumnhearth]

To be fair, none of the things I listed are new/original ideas, though I’ll take credit for the Easter Eggs. I don’t care if they use glitter, ties or pantyhose just dye those eggs!

I only find the bf comment amusing because it’s on that particular video. I hate thinking about the time that fans would actually comment on Dan being hotter (not that I was around) though Phil replying that someone was ugly on the inside was great. Anyone have a reference for that?

Also are people still doing timestamps? Some quotes from DML2 would be very helpful in clarifying things said about the future. Making them has always given me a headache, otherwise I’d be on it.

[noodlebum]

Also are people still doing timestamps? Some quotes from DML2 would be very helpful in clarifying things said about the future. Making them has always given me a headache, otherwise I’d be on it.

There was some done below under the spoiler, although not so much quotes. I'd like a quote one too.

I really enjoyed this video! I learned a lot of interesting (and personal) things about Phil (and Dan) from it, and I'm so glad to see Phil start to open up about some of the struggles he's experienced in his life, both professionally and personally. There were a lot of announcements about the future in this video, but I find the thing I'm most hopeful for is the success of Project Sphere... Anyway, here are my timestamps:

• [0:30] Phil says the only thing he wishes he could change about his previous “Draw My Life” video is that he wishes he could add “P.S. I was gay!” to it.
• [0:36] The last “Draw My Life” story left off with Dan and Phil moving to London around 2013. A year’s rent in London cost Dan and Phil their entire life savings. If they didn’t make a career online happen, they would be left with no money and some student loan debt.
• [1:04] Thankfully, they got a show on BBC Radio 1. The contents of the show were a lot of fun but also very ambitious.
• [1:40] Phil tells a story about the radio show. In the beginning, Phil was in charge of pressing buttons on the control panel during the radio show. However, he once pressed the wrong button, which resulted in a full minute of dead air. After that, Dan was put in charge of pressing the buttons.
• [2:03] Phil talks about hitting one million subscribers on YouTube. This was the point that Phil decided he was certifiably a full-time internet entertainer.
• [2:40] As the radio show continued to get bigger, Phil says that he and Dan got an agent (presumably at FlipSide).
• [2:48] Not having much money at the time, Phil felt like he should say “yes” to every professional opportunity that came his way. He lists a variety of jobs that he agreed to do: presenting at a film premiere, doing a YouTube spon, doing the Brit Awards, interviewing Ed Sheeran on the red carpet, introducing Imagine Dragons at a festival, doing a week-long outdoor shoot in exchange for “exposure.”
• [3:24] Phil’s anxiety got really bad during this time because he was juggling too much. He was working hard, not getting sleep, and worrying about not getting anything done the next day.
• [3:38] During this time, Phil got a call saying that he needed to come home because of his dad’s health. His dad had a very rare form of blood cancer. He was really sick for over a year, but he was upbeat the whole time. Phil considered dropping everything to come home while his dad was fighting cancer, but his dad convinced him that it would be more helpful for Phil to stay in London and continue working. Because he was put on an experimental drug, Phil’s dad has been in remission for five years (since 2014).
• [4:52] Phil shows a photo of his mom and dad holding hands while walking near a beach.
• [4:56] Dan and Phil realized that all the jobs they were agreeing to do were no longer advancing their careers, and they were doing them out of obligation rather than passion. They also wanted full control over the content they created, and they felt that “the internet” was the future. So they decided to focus on their online/YouTube careers, and they decided to stop doing the radio show and everything else. At this point, they also ditched their old agent at FlipSide (who focused on TV) and got a new team from Above the Fray (who focused on the internet).
• [5:28] To celebrate all things Dan and Phil, Dan and Phil decided to make TABINOF. This also felt like the perfect moment to go on tour, which launched TATINOF. Now, there was no one telling them what to do or change, but this also meant that they had to make every single decision, which came with a whole lot of office work while planning and executing an entire world tour.
• [6:51] TATINOF felt like moving to London had because Dan and Phil put all their savings, even the money from TABINOF into it. Thankfully, ~100,000 people bought tickets and made TATINOF successful, and TABINOF was a #1 bestseller.
• [7:52] Meeting so many people during TATINOF really affected Phil. Hearing the stories of how his videos had brightened up people’s days or gotten people through the hard times or really inspired people that related to his life made Phil realize just how special this YouTube thing he was doing was.
• [8:13] During this time, Dan and Phil had to do some press to promote TABINOF and TATINOF. Phil experienced some “gay fear” during some interviews because he was still closeted publicly and to his extended family. Some reporters just wanted to talk about dating and sexuality, and they wanted to ask about liking girls and “hot female celebrities.” Some reporters were also obsessed with the idea of YouTube as a career.
• [8:55] Phil tells a specific horror story about dealing with the press. During a photoshoot, Phil was made to balance on a disco ball with his legs spread out in tight jeans. The photographer sat on the floor with the camera pointed up towards Phil’s crotch, and they asked Phil to look more sensual.
• [9:20] As an aside, Phil says he’s really enjoying drawing. He draws a seal on wheels. It is magnificent.
• [9:32] Phil talks about starting DanAndPhilGAMES. Dan and Phil wanted it to be something they did on the side, but they quickly realized that it was a lot more work than they had expected because they wanted to edit their gaming videos at the same level as they did their other YouTube videos.
• [10:07] Dan and Phil bit off more than they could chew with Gamingmas. It had them up editing until 4am most nights in December, including on Christmas Eve. However, Phil thinks the Undertale Let’s Play was worth it, and he apologizes to and thanks Dan for editing it (I presume).
• [10:22] Phil says that the TATINOF era of life lasted for two years. After he and Dan got through it, their first priority was moving out of their first London apartment, and then they had to face the question of what would come next.
• [10:39] For Phil, 2017 was a sad and death-heavy year as he lost his grandmother and aunt in the same month.
• [11:04] Phil doesn’t like announcing that he’s working on a secret project that he can’t talk about (and that may never come to be) because he thinks it’s an annoying thing to do. He thinks it’s better to drop an announcement when there’s something interesting going on or when the project is fully ready. However, the downside is that some people don’t understand that it takes a lot of work behind-the-scenes to create the project. Phil says that this made him realize that people only know what’s happening in your life if you’re talking about it online. He sometimes wishes that people knew when he was going through a hard time rather than thinking that nothing is happening. At [12:04], Phil concludes this point saying that there’s more to people’s lives than what they’re posting on social media, and you never really know what someone is going through or working on unless they tell you about it.
• [11:46] To give an example of a secret project that never came to be, Phil tells the story of how he and Dan once spent months planning a Dan and Phil travel series. It was just about ready to go when the people that commissioned it said that their plans had changed, and they would have to wait a year to film it. This clashed with Dan and Phil’s other plans, and they had to let it go.
• [12:16] Two examples of secret projects that have come to fruition are: Truth Bombs and IRL Merch. Truth Bombs apparently originated as a party game that Phil would make his friends play on scraps of paper. For IRL Merch, Dan and Phil felt that YouTuber merch could be so much better than a basic T-shirt, and Phil’s brother Martyn knew everything there was to know about building a website and online shopping. Thus, they banded together to form their first business. Phil is grateful that this business allows him to spend so much time with his brother.
• [13:34] Phil lists two random things that he and Dan did over the past few years: release the 7 Second Challenge app and have cameos in Big Hero 6.
• [13:46] In 2017, Dan and Phil started to think about the rest of their lives/their next big dream. They decided that, before doing anything else, they wanted to tour again to try to visit as many places as they possibly could. Getting into more places was a lot easier this time, but some places still wouldn’t let them in. Phil suspects this may be due to Dan’s face looking suspicious. Regardless, Interactive Introverts was born, and they decided to also revisit the places they had already been because the show was so good.
• [14:51] Phil talks about changing his hair. At the same time he changed his hair, Phil says that he also went and got a pair of ripped jeans as part of his character progression.
• [15:14] With regard to Interactive Introverts, Dan and Phil had some “big issues” getting into Manila. This cost so much that they ended up spending their own money in “Asia” rather than making money.
• [15:27] Dan and Phil were zombies when they got home from Interactive Introverts. Phil thinks they pushed themselves slightly too far with this tour. He felt like he had unlimited energy while on tour, but he crashed once he got home. However, he didn’t exactly rest as he and Dan immediately spent three weeks editing the movie version of Interactive Introverts.
• [16:06] Phil talks about having a poor work-life balance from 2013 through 2018:

  P: So if you’ve been paying attention--Hey! Get back to this tab! Don’t you like my beautiful art?--you might have realized that this chapter of “Draw My Life” has been incredibly work related. Where’s all my fun stories about the things in the rest of my life? Well...turns out I don’t really have one.
  
  P: Obviously, this career has given me so many incredible adventures and experiences I could never have dreamed of, but outside of it, I suddenly realized how lame I am. I prioritized work so much, I stopped making friends. I only have about four in London that actually want to hang out, and I’ve got no real hobbies except for exhaustedly plonking myself in front of a video game after writing emails ‘til 5am. And I didn’t do any normal stuff people would do like getting a house or a dog, for dog’s sake! I think the next project should be to give myself a more well-rounded existence: Project Sphere! The sphere is me! I am the sphere! Do you think there’s a flat sphere conspiracy? I’m sorry.
  
  P: We both realized you don’t need to say “yes” to everything. It’s up to me how much work I want to do in order to secure my future, but there should be a balance, so at the end of the day, you’re still happy. This was like the clouds parting to reveal a new land. I like to think this world was in the jurassic period. “Yee.” For the first time in my life, I felt like I could breathe a bit. I wasn’t afraid of risking everything and having to move back into my parents’ if I failed. No offense, fam. So what next?

• [17:25] At the end of 2018, Dan and Phil wanted to think about what was next for them, and Dan wanted to focus on creating his coming out video. As such, they decided to pause making content for DanAndPhilGAMES.
• [17:40] Phil talks about his current thoughts on the gaming channel as well as what to expect from the next big secret project (outside of YouTube):

  P: The thing is: Most people love DanAndPhilGAMES just for being funny and the couch banter rather than hardcore gaming skills action. So I think if we did feel like having that thing on the side again, maybe it could transform into something new in the future. But on the other hand, I think that final Sims video was definitely a perfect ending if it is.
  
  P: As “Dan and Phil,” we definitely feel like we’ve done every genre of big project we could do together over this five years, apart from maybe a cookbook, where we all know how much of a disaster that would be. So while we love creating together, and we’ll continue to pop up together on YouTube for more classic content, maybe for the next secret big project, it’s time for Philly to think about the big dreams he’s always had.

• [18:18] Phil shows himself filming the video, breaking the customary format of a “Draw My Life” video.
• [18:20] Phil talks about coming out:

  P: But before anything else, there was something I needed to do. I just came out as gay! Which still feels slightly weird to say out load on YouTube. I think meeting my audience made me realize is sometimes sharing personal stuff can help others. So to do that and feel comfortable myself talking publicly about parts of my life going forward, I decided to make a YouTube video about it. This also involved telling some of my extended family beforehand, and this, thankfully, was a very positive experience. But when I read the reaction down in the comments, it really warmed my heart and gave me hope for the future of humanity, so thanks!

• [19:16] Phil says that for the secret project he’s currently working on, “some writing is happening.” However, he doesn’t know yet if what he’s working on will ever become real.
• [19:22] In the meantime, Phil’s still on YouTube, and he’ll keep sharing stories from his weird life and strange mind for as long as people are listening. Even if people stop listening, he might still keep sharing stories as that’s what he was doing when he first started YouTube.
• In the video description, there are links to all three versions of the AmazingPhil Shop, and there is no link to the Dan and Phil shop.