Dan & Phil Part 90: Fish Daddies

Our two favourite full time internet nerds who never go outside!
Locked
User avatar
alittledizzy
actual demon phannie
actual demon phannie
Posts: 7100
Joined: Sat Mar 26, 2016 3:09 pm
Pronouns: she/her

bluecaterpillar wrote: Mon Sep 16, 2019 11:43 am felucca made a post about charlie in the faq which i'll quote some of here:
felucca wrote:They communicated frequently per Twitter, Dailybooth, Skype and phone and they had a collab channel together called pabloislove. They met in March of 2009 and filmed a video that Phil at some point removed from his channel prior to 2012. No one appears to have saved the video before deletion. The Zoo Day video thumbnail can be seen on the wayback machine [link] and his tweet promoting the video remains online.

There is nothing definitive stated by either of them at the time to indicate a relationship, and they seemed to fall out of constant contact within a matter of months after meeting in real life. In June of 2009, around the same time Dan and Phil first began talking, Charlie began dating a mutual friend Stephen (3sixty5days). The four of them were friends up until Charlie and Stephen's messy breakup in 2010 that resulted in Charlie breaking Stephen's nose.
i think phil and charlie's supposed 'relationship' to each other gets overexaggerated and made into something it's not because the 2013 twitter drama kept charlie more relevant to the phandom compared to other old-school yters from 09 and earlier who nobody really remembers in connection with dan or phil. the narrative about dan 'stealing' phil doesn't really hold much water when you look at the timeline.

anyway, given how much coty skated over discussing actual relationships, phil's earlier dating life remains a mystery. but given that he said he joined a dating site and used uni as a way to meet other lgbt people on campus, i don't think it's a stretch to assume he was dating/hooking up at least a certain extent, even if he didn't have a super committed relationship or fall in love at that point.
I believe there was flirtation and intent with Charlie, but Charlie was obviously having the same flirtation with two (or more) people at the same time - Phil and Stephen - and Stephen seemed to want to move more at Charlie's speed based on the rate things progressed from the time they met to when they were officially dating. Dan definitely didn't steal Charlie; as the timeline page says, that would have been fairly impossible. But (pure speculation) I think that Charlie's issue was more years later wishing he'd picked Phil instead. I mean... the relationship he chose over Phil ended bitterly and somewhat violently, while Phil moved on to have a storybook love and become a millionaire with the guy that came along right after Charlie.

In the video Phil said that he had never had someone for Valentine's Day before, so we know definitively that he'd never been in a relationship that was more than a calendar year long. (We are all generally on the same page that vday video was real now, right? Or are there still people that somehow believe it was a prank?) I am fairly sure he at least tried to have some dating/hook up experience at university though his insistence that he just wanted to date on the dating site says maybe he held off on hook ups because he did want a relationship and didn't really find that until Dan.
User avatar
deiligbaby
smol bean
Posts: 5
Joined: Fri Jul 19, 2019 9:38 am

Secretstanner wrote: Thu Sep 12, 2019 5:08 pm
Nothing of recent. It was back in 2017 when they moved. Their address wasn’t leaked per say. What I saw anyway was people took a screen grab of the area but scribbled over the actual address. But you still could see the area and if you knew it, it wouldn’t be hard to work out. I’m confused by you saying you can tell where they live from their videos? In what way? They don’t vlog so for you to know where they actually live in London from what? Maybe you live there I dunno. When it comes to the area they live I think a fair few amount have seen or know it, it definitely not something I see people talk. I think more people just know of the area rather than the actual address.
thanks! i don't want to say the names of videos or how bc i feel like that's weird, it just so happened that i recognised the area bc i live in london.
knq wrote: Thu Sep 12, 2019 6:02 pm
They've lived in two London apartments so far. I wonder if the discussion you saw was about the 'leaking' of the address to their first London apartment? Knowledge of where their first apartment was is often brought up in discourse over fans respecting (or not) Dan and Phil's privacy. Knowledge of their current apartment definitely isn't common, though if it were you wouldn't see it on IDB, as that would violate the forum rules.
yeah i meant the second one which is why i was confused, never seen anything about the first one but then again i was never super involved. thanks though!
i just like dnp ok
User avatar
LtrllySusan
lava lamp
Posts: 954
Joined: Thu May 18, 2017 4:09 pm

deiligbaby wrote: Mon Sep 16, 2019 3:35 pm
Secretstanner wrote: Thu Sep 12, 2019 5:08 pm
Nothing of recent. It was back in 2017 when they moved. Their address wasn’t leaked per say. What I saw anyway was people took a screen grab of the area but scribbled over the actual address. But you still could see the area and if you knew it, it wouldn’t be hard to work out. I’m confused by you saying you can tell where they live from their videos? In what way? They don’t vlog so for you to know where they actually live in London from what? Maybe you live there I dunno. When it comes to the area they live I think a fair few amount have seen or know it, it definitely not something I see people talk. I think more people just know of the area rather than the actual address.
thanks! i don't want to say the names of videos or how bc i feel like that's weird, it just so happened that i recognised the area bc i live in london.
knq wrote: Thu Sep 12, 2019 6:02 pm
They've lived in two London apartments so far. I wonder if the discussion you saw was about the 'leaking' of the address to their first London apartment? Knowledge of where their first apartment was is often brought up in discourse over fans respecting (or not) Dan and Phil's privacy. Knowledge of their current apartment definitely isn't common, though if it were you wouldn't see it on IDB, as that would violate the forum rules.
yeah i meant the second one which is why i was confused, never seen anything about the first one but then again i was never super involved. thanks though!
You're probably going to get private messages asking about more details (stalkers gonna stalk, sadly). I don't think messages are surveilled by the mods, but I hope you still respect DnP's privacy beyond the borders of this thread ❤️
Templeofshame
rainbow nerd
Posts: 233
Joined: Sun Nov 05, 2017 8:46 pm
Pronouns: she/her

I guess we haven't gotten Phil talking about what student groups he was/wasn't involved in in uni since coming out, but I always read the way he talked about wishing he'd done more student clubs as implying that he wasn't in an LGBT society or anything. Obviously he had and has lots of queer YouTuber friends (and Anja), and he was out to his uni friends, but I don't think we know whether he had many queer friends in uni (and obviously one can be out and have a queer social circle and not have sexual experiences).

I'm sure we're all biased by our personal experiences, and things may have been different in the UK or at York specifically, but when I went to uni shortly after Phil did (2008-2012), dating sites weren't a normal part of uni and were kind of assumed to be for after graduation, when we wouldn't be constantly surrounded by lots of people our age in close quarters. I went to a small school, so I think there were a couple queer kids who talked about trying to use dating sites to get outside of that small dating pool (but most people would just go to events at a neighboring school or something for that?) but it was viewed as something you wouldn't do if things were going well for you on campus? So maybe totally my bias, but I read the idea of Phil using a dating site at that time (2009 or earlier) as indicating that a) he was single, b) he knew what he wanted; c) he wasn't finding what he wanted from the people he was organically interacting with at York. Which totally could mean he hooked up a bunch at York and realized he didn't want that and he wasn't finding what he wanted there, or it could mean that from the point of lying about his sexual experience in the beginning (which seemed to imply to me that he wasn't just getting rid of the insecurity by having lots of sex and making them not lies) he knew that he wanted to actually go on dates and he wasn't finding that at York. (I think it would be tough to make the argument that he had anything serious in uni, given the lack of flippy-over-thing and lack of Valentine's Day with anyone, etc.)

To me, this also fits with the kind of online flirtation we saw from Phil in general on his channel, with Charlie, and with Dan. More bias on my part, I'm sure, but I relate a lot to the safety in that kind of online flirtation when you're relatively inexperienced, when it can feel comfortable to be pretty bold online when it feels a lot scarier to flirt with that guy in your seminar or even to respond earnestly to someone who is maybe? probably? flirting with you.

I don't really know what my point is; we're unlikely to ever have too much certainty on Phil's pre-Dan sexual experience. There are lots of gradations of what it could be. But I think we have a lot of pieces of evidence that can add up to different stories, and I think don't think there's much to be gained by assuming things based on age/normative behaviors. It does seem like by the time he was being flirty on YouTube, at least, that Phil knew he wanted to be doing things with guys (as opposed to just feeling left out about it pre-uni), and that could be an indicator that he was pursuing things irl, or that things weren't going anywhere irl (and were potentially contributing to some desperate vibes). And re: Charlie, I'm used to the interpretation Mandy mentions in terms of Phil not moving as fast or decisively as Stephen, and that kind of tentativeness seems like it could contribute to being in a state of knowing what he wants, but not necessarily being ready to take risks or fully go for it (and having someone like Dan pursuing him a little later could make that easier).

Sorry if this makes no sense, I had a meeting halfway through writing this and honestly I'm not sure if I got to whatever my original point was or not.
bevioletsky
glabella
Posts: 78
Joined: Mon Oct 01, 2018 1:13 pm

Not trying to disagree with any previous post, but to me the way Phil described being at university as a “shield” and that he could then “experiment” in coty implies that there was something happening during his time there. How much of something or how serious any of it would have been, I don’t know, but he was out to his uni mates after a point, well some of them at least?, and experimenting to me sounds like more than just acceptance of his sexuality or w/e. But maybe I’m just thinking about how positively he always seems to regard his time at uni and think that might include some positive queer experiences (though obviously that doesn’t have to mean sex). I don’t actually have a super strong opinion on this, but yeah. Guess we ultimately don’t know is my conclusion as well.

Anyway, we’re nearing a month since Draw My Life 2, somehow. It doesn’t actually feel like it to me, but time dnp-wise has been so strange this year – everything dragged on so slowly early on, and then BIG happened and now it simultaneously feels like June was just a moment ago but I also can’t believe they’ve officially only been out for a few months. My point is, a video soon? Project sphere or not, neither of them have to me signalled that they’re fully giving up on YouTube in any way so something should be coming soon...-ish, right? Something solo-Phil? October mukbang (please)?
User avatar
knq
lava lamp
Posts: 956
Joined: Wed Mar 14, 2018 8:42 pm
Pronouns: she/her
Location: USA

I went back to watch Phil in the Club for some more context, knowing now that he was out to his uni friends, but then I got offended on Phil's behalf and now all I can add is: Wow, Splichael was a dick.
User avatar
alittledizzy
actual demon phannie
actual demon phannie
Posts: 7100
Joined: Sat Mar 26, 2016 3:09 pm
Pronouns: she/her

Dan, back at it with a mildly controversial tweet...
User avatar
Catallena
classy cat lady
classy cat lady
Posts: 3192
Joined: Wed Mar 30, 2016 6:56 pm
Location: The Netherlands

alittledizzy wrote: Mon Sep 16, 2019 7:33 pm Dan, back at it with a mildly controversial tweet...
Native English speakers be like...

No okay, I went to school to at some point make dealing with tourists my job. And I think I get the joke Dan is trying to make, which is common in the European tourism industry but also a bit of a gag among mortals, that (mostly) UK and Western European tourists are of the mindset that the only Spanish they'll ever need to learn is a badly pronounced 'dos cervezas, por favor' to shout at some poor underpaid waitress at a beach bar and they'll just make an ass of themselves for the rest of the trip by rudely pointing at things and stuff.

I think, and hope, that that was the angle he was going for. Not that he doesn't see the benefits of multilingualism.
Image
Twitter *•.(★).•* Tumblr
User avatar
enomdy
smol bean
Posts: 7
Joined: Sun Jun 23, 2019 9:48 pm
Pronouns: she/her
Location: England

Catallena wrote: Mon Sep 16, 2019 9:08 pm
alittledizzy wrote: Mon Sep 16, 2019 7:33 pm Dan, back at it with a mildly controversial tweet...
Native English speakers be like...

No okay, I went to school to at some point make dealing with tourists my job. And I think I get the joke Dan is trying to make, which is common in the European tourism industry but also a bit of a gag among mortals, that (mostly) UK and Western European tourists are of the mindset that the only Spanish they'll ever need to learn is a badly pronounced 'dos cervezas, por favor' to shout at some poor underpaid waitress at a beach bar and they'll just make an ass of themselves for the rest of the trip by rudely pointing at things and stuff.

I think, and hope, that that was the angle he was going for. Not that he doesn't see the benefits of multilingualism.
To be fair, foreign language classes in England are a complete joke. Most people also don't take them seriously because they have no interest in the languages they teach (Spanish, German, or French) or the countries where they are spoken.
:betta: :sparkle: lol what :sparkle: :betta:
User avatar
Catallena
classy cat lady
classy cat lady
Posts: 3192
Joined: Wed Mar 30, 2016 6:56 pm
Location: The Netherlands

enomdy wrote: Mon Sep 16, 2019 9:38 pm
Catallena wrote: Mon Sep 16, 2019 9:08 pm
alittledizzy wrote: Mon Sep 16, 2019 7:33 pm Dan, back at it with a mildly controversial tweet...
Native English speakers be like...

No okay, I went to school to at some point make dealing with tourists my job. And I think I get the joke Dan is trying to make, which is common in the European tourism industry but also a bit of a gag among mortals, that (mostly) UK and Western European tourists are of the mindset that the only Spanish they'll ever need to learn is a badly pronounced 'dos cervezas, por favor' to shout at some poor underpaid waitress at a beach bar and they'll just make an ass of themselves for the rest of the trip by rudely pointing at things and stuff.

I think, and hope, that that was the angle he was going for. Not that he doesn't see the benefits of multilingualism.
To be fair, foreign language classes in England are a complete joke. Most people also don't take them seriously because they have no interest in the languages they teach (Spanish, German, or French) or the countries where they are spoken.
Yeah, cause they don't need to lol. Or feel the need to I guess would be more accurate. English is already the default language in much of the world anyway, at least the parts world they're most likely to come into contact with. While for the majority of Europe, not learning another language aside from your mother tongue just isn't an option. We gotta actually learn English.

It really does get worse with tourists though. People turn into morons when on holiday.
Image
Twitter *•.(★).•* Tumblr
User avatar
Ataraxia25
flower crown
Posts: 713
Joined: Tue Aug 15, 2017 1:31 pm
Pronouns: they/them
Location: france

Catallena wrote: Mon Sep 16, 2019 10:14 pm
enomdy wrote: Mon Sep 16, 2019 9:38 pm
Catallena wrote: Mon Sep 16, 2019 9:08 pm
alittledizzy wrote: Mon Sep 16, 2019 7:33 pm Dan, back at it with a mildly controversial tweet...
Native English speakers be like...

No okay, I went to school to at some point make dealing with tourists my job. And I think I get the joke Dan is trying to make, which is common in the European tourism industry but also a bit of a gag among mortals, that (mostly) UK and Western European tourists are of the mindset that the only Spanish they'll ever need to learn is a badly pronounced 'dos cervezas, por favor' to shout at some poor underpaid waitress at a beach bar and they'll just make an ass of themselves for the rest of the trip by rudely pointing at things and stuff.

I think, and hope, that that was the angle he was going for. Not that he doesn't see the benefits of multilingualism.
To be fair, foreign language classes in England are a complete joke. Most people also don't take them seriously because they have no interest in the languages they teach (Spanish, German, or French) or the countries where they are spoken.
Yeah, cause they don't need to lol. Or feel the need to I guess would be more accurate. English is already the default language in much of the world anyway, at least the parts world they're most likely to come into contact with. While for the majority of Europe, not learning another language aside from your mother tongue just isn't an option. We gotta actually learn English.

It really does get worse with tourists though. People turn into morons when on holiday.
I wholeheartedly agree with all this. I agree on a level you can't imagine.

But I also think that, for Dan, it wasn't that deep. Do I think it tells something about how English-speaking people sees other languages, especially in Europe? Yes. But I also think he didn't REALLY mean anything by it and just wanted to tweet something relatable because he just had a funny experience at a restaurant or something.
:gayaf:
User avatar
flarequake
not an airport stalker
Posts: 2680
Joined: Tue Mar 29, 2016 8:55 pm
Pronouns: She/her
Location: London, UK

I thought he meant it’s surprising and a bit funny how much you can manage with miming and pointing if your knowledge fails you. I don’t think he thought about it from other angles, even how crass Brits can be, tbh. He often surprises me with how little he realises about some things and how other people in the world might feel. The reply I sent about my mum etc years ago, they didn’t learn any at school though my grandfather loved Spanish and knew a fair bit. I ended up doing my degree in Spanish, we’re not quite all useless, though I am rusty now (did at least use it when I was a primary school teacher for a few years). As I was finishing school they were stopping the requirement to keep a language until 16, though, it’s been devalued for ages, I was 16 in 1997 :|
User avatar
Tottrie
drama llama
Posts: 43
Joined: Wed May 16, 2018 2:45 pm
Pronouns: she/her
Location: Sweden

For me, a person from Sweden (that obviously doesn't have English as my native language) the tweet was funny. As someone that work at a famous zoo - for Europeans so I meet people from all over Europe - and have traveled around Europe alot. Language is often not such a big barrier as people think. I use my hands quiet a lot when talking to people that don't know Swedish or English.
And that's not because it's rude! It's the way we do it in Europe. We have no shame and understand that we live on a continent filled with languages and it's impossible to learn all of them.
User avatar
noodlebum
flower crown
Posts: 711
Joined: Wed Feb 21, 2018 5:00 pm
Location: UK

I agree, think he was just remarking that most of the time gestures/facial expressions play a bigger part in communicating than you'd think, in a comedy way, not meant to mean anything by it that you shouldn't learn other languages if you speak English.

I do feel a lot of shame when I hear of my European friends speaking 5 languages, and I'm here kind-of getting by abroad reading and speaking (badly) a little French and Spanish, and not understanding hardly anything in an actual conversation. I think a lot of Brits are becoming ashamed of it. Apps like Duolingo are getting more popular though. Being roughly the same age as Dan and also going to a shite secondary school, languages just weren't focused on at school.
User avatar
autumnhearth
senpai
Posts: 1726
Joined: Sat Apr 22, 2017 2:44 am
Pronouns: she/her
Location: OH, USA

I know the conversation has moved on and I’m glad, but I just wanted to say that “dating” and “being in a relationship” might be used by some interchangeably, but they do mean different things. Charlie tweeted that he “dated Phil” when questioned how he knew Dan and Phil were gay (in addition to saying he was friends with them). He also tweeted that he was “never in a relationship with Phil” when someone wondered if the abusive older boyfriend he referred to was Phil. Yes those things were said at different times for different reasons and one might assume that the second was taking back his first statement, but more likely it’s simple: Charlie dated Phil, but was not in a relationship with Phil. And it might have just been that one date, at the zoo, plus flirting online. Enough for him to say that ‘yeah haha of course I know he’s gay’ but not enough for the phandom to refer to Charlie as Phil’s “ex”.

Otherwise speculating what experiences Dan and Phil had with guys prior to each other, is really not my thing. The things they say in their videos are generally not straightforward (ha). Phil is very discrete and Dan often exaggerates and says things for comedic effect, which is mostly how I see the getting things out of and in his system. That doesn’t have to be literally/physically it could be emotionally and expressively online with a queer group of YouTubers and Dailybooth followers.

Anyway can we have some :betta: content please Mr. Amazing?
Phantasy
woodland creature
Posts: 553
Joined: Sun Apr 03, 2016 7:33 am

I feel sorry for the family member who had to take these photos...
Last edited by Phantasy on Tue Sep 17, 2019 4:00 pm, edited 1 time in total.
User avatar
poweroftriangles
pumpkin spice pumpkin cookie
Posts: 125
Joined: Sun Jun 02, 2019 11:43 am
Pronouns: he/him
Location: Asia

At LEAST he didn't make a phallic joke with the baguette. I was braced for the worst.

I might slowly be changing my mind about the stache. :shhh:
anti-YouNow club :sarcasticclap:
User avatar
rizzo
unduly facetious
unduly facetious
Posts: 1792
Joined: Tue Mar 29, 2016 3:18 am

rizzo wrote: Thu Sep 12, 2019 8:17 pm
rizzo wrote: Thu Sep 12, 2019 2:46 pm
rizzo wrote: Mon Sep 02, 2019 7:39 pm i honestly hate him
:coffee:
User avatar
obsessivelymoody
emo goose
Posts: 1134
Joined: Wed Oct 25, 2017 12:56 am
Pronouns: she/her
Location: canada

The mustache looks good there. I feel like he wasn't working his best angles in that story. And I kind of really love how much of a classic queer homage it is. It's actually very nice to see Dan really step into himself and experiment in ways he previously wouldn't have felt comfortable with. I know it's a frequent thing now but it still makes me really happy to see it.
User avatar
sonicgreen
woodland creature
Posts: 597
Joined: Thu Sep 28, 2017 2:56 pm

hes giving me Antoni from queer eye vibes. I’m all here for confident instagram posts.
Image
User avatar
rizzo
unduly facetious
unduly facetious
Posts: 1792
Joined: Tue Mar 29, 2016 3:18 am

tbh i really like his messy hair in these pics. it's not perfect curls, but there's something cool happening there.

the "'stache" still isn't doing it for me, but i think that's mostly because it's not that well grown. maybe a few more days with it and i could grow to appreciate it.
User avatar
kavat
pastel persona
Posts: 1365
Joined: Tue Nov 14, 2017 7:36 pm
Pronouns: she/her
Location: scandinavia

I still think it looks kind of ridiculous, but at least he looks a bit more his age. He's got such a baby face otherwise. Love the hair though.
User avatar
madzilla84
eclipse shirt
Posts: 379
Joined: Thu Feb 07, 2019 8:27 pm
Pronouns: she/her

I’m not at all accustomed to being so repelled by pictures of Dan; usually I find him so lovely, it’s an odd sensation. Something about it just makes me go *nope*. But it isn’t my face, so more power to him I guess.

(I hope it’s just a holiday experimental thing ngl)
blackbirddan.tumblr.com
User avatar
LtrllySusan
lava lamp
Posts: 954
Joined: Thu May 18, 2017 4:09 pm

Can I just say that I, a straight woman, have never seen a stache and found it attractive? I find them kind of repulsive.
User avatar
autumnhearth
senpai
Posts: 1726
Joined: Sat Apr 22, 2017 2:44 am
Pronouns: she/her
Location: OH, USA

sonicgreen wrote: Tue Sep 17, 2019 4:14 pm hes giving me Antoni from queer eye vibes. I’m all here for confident instagram posts.
That was my exact reaction! He’s smoldering and I don’t hate the stache. Shocking.
Locked