Dan & Phil Part 90: Fish Daddies

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Tornbetweenfandoms
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Re: Dan & Phil Part 90: Fish Daddies

Post by Tornbetweenfandoms » Thu Oct 03, 2019 9:33 am

*unwarranted topic change*
Carrie Hope Fletcher just posted this blog post and I think it's a really interesting read. Tbh it might be some of the reason we're seeing so much less of dnp online.

http://www.carriehopefletcher.com/2019/ ... o.html?m=1



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Re: Dan & Phil Part 90: Fish Daddies

Post by autumnhearth » Thu Oct 03, 2019 10:23 am

itasca00 wrote: Thu Oct 03, 2019 5:28 am
Amiaw wrote: Wed Oct 02, 2019 6:36 pm
So no hopes for the gaming channel. It was a false alarm. The only change they made was to the dnp shop
obsessivelymoody wrote: Wed Oct 02, 2019 6:41 pm
But are they actually removing the links/changing them? iirc itasca00 had kept track of how notoriously terrible dnp were with their description links. I also don't think them doing anything with minor parts of the gaming channel means much tbh. I've seen a lot of catastrophizing on twitter already.
alittledizzy wrote: Wed Oct 02, 2019 7:03 pm
Amiaw wrote: Wed Oct 02, 2019 6:56 pm I have seen other tweets since this one that say the same thing -‘that the joint shop links are still on some videos so at this point I have NO idea of what’s going on and am going to stop guessing because that never ends well with me and dnp
I just looked myself and it appears as it always has to me. As of Dan opening his shop last year, his link was there and for Phil's it was still danandphilshop (link). After Phil opened his shop, for a while it stayed like that. Last October it swapped to having Phil's merch shop in his link (link).

So I guess right now I'm just watching to see if videos prior to that point start being edited.
obsessivelymoody is correct. Dan and Phil have been extremely inconsistent with how they link to their merch shops in their video descriptions. Sometimes they link to the Dan and Phil Shop, sometimes they link to their individual merch shops, and sometimes they link to both. I have gone through my timestamps for last year's DanAndPhilGAMES videos (since I started commenting on merch links in mid-September), and none of the original (inconsistent) references to Dan and Phil's merch shops have been changed/corrected in the current video descriptions. If you'd like to see for yourself just how inconsistent Dan and Phil have been, I have compiled my timestamps on this matter (for DanAndPhilGAMES videos) below:
Disclaimer: You'll notice below that I root for Dan and Phil linking to their individual merch shops in their video descriptions. To be clear, this is just because their merch links appear alongside links to their individual social media accounts in their video descriptions.
  • DIL GOES TO SPACE - Dan and Phil Play: Sims 4 #56 (15 September 2018)
    itasca00 wrote: Sat Sep 15, 2018 9:51 pm
  • Dan and Phil fighting in their underwear! (22 September 2018)
    itasca00 wrote: Sun Sep 23, 2018 12:55 am
    • Their merch links in the video description are again both danandphilshop.com. What the heck?
  • D a n V s. P h i l - P O N G (28 September 2018)
    itasca00 wrote: Sat Sep 29, 2018 2:56 pm
  • Dan and Phil Actually Go To A Party (11 October 2018)
    itasca00 wrote: Fri Oct 12, 2018 12:42 am
    • I’m feeling very trolled because, once again, Dan’s merch link has switched compared to the last video. It is again danandphilshop.com. When will this mystery be solved?
  • THIS VIDEO IS CLICKBAIT (19 October 2018)
    itasca00 wrote: Sat Oct 20, 2018 3:39 am
    • At long last, Dan and Phil’s merch links are the same in this video description as they were in the description of the last gaming video. But they are both danandphilshop.com rather than their individual merch shops, so I’m still not happy. To make matters worse, I’m just realizing that the order of the social media links is different for Dan and Phil (Instagram is third for Dan and fifth for Phil), and this order difference is consistent for all of the videos I checked. The horror!
  • How Not to Drive with Dan and Phil (23 October 2018)
    itasca00 wrote: Tue Oct 23, 2018 11:29 pm
  • SPOOKY WEEK BEGINS! Dan and Phil Play: GRANNY (26 October 2018)
    itasca00 wrote: Fri Oct 26, 2018 11:40 pm
  • The Creepy Mind of Phil Lester (27 October 2018)
    itasca00 wrote: Sun Oct 28, 2018 3:49 am
    • Unfortunately, Dan and Phil’s merch links are still danandphilshop.com for this video. :roll:
  • Dan experiences VR Horror - Resident Evil 7! (28 October 2018)
    itasca00 wrote: Mon Oct 29, 2018 3:32 am
  • It’s All Ogre for Dan and Phil - SWAMP SIMULATOR! (29 October 2018)
    itasca00 wrote: Mon Oct 29, 2018 11:46 pm
    • Ayyy, the merch links are right again in this video description. But how long can it last? To borrow a phrase from Dan, this is the true horror of Spooky Week. :roll:
  • DIL BECOMES A VAMPIRE - Dan and Phil Play: Sims 4 #57 (30 October 2018)
    itasca00 wrote: Wed Oct 31, 2018 1:15 am
    • Alright! Two videos in a row with the correct merch links! Let's keep this up, boys! :thumb:
  • Weird Things Humans Search For (14 November 2018)
    itasca00 wrote: Wed Nov 14, 2018 11:46 pm
    • *le sigh* The merch links both point to danandphilshop.com in the description of this video.
  • Dan vs. Phil - DRUMMING CHALLENGE! (20 November 2018)
    itasca00 wrote: Tue Nov 20, 2018 9:09 pm
  • What if Dan and Phil were GODS? (26 November 2018)
    itasca00 wrote: Mon Nov 26, 2018 11:11 pm
    • There are three links that point to danandphilshop.com in the video description, but I’m okay with this as long as the combined festive shop is in place (and the other shops haven't been updated with the new merch).
  • DIL BECOMES AN ELDER - Dan and Phil Play: Sims 4 #58 (2 December 2018)
    itasca00 wrote: Sun Dec 02, 2018 10:50 pm
    • As with all the other episodes of The Sims for the past several months, the merch links in the video description point to shop.danielhowell.com and amazingphilshop.com. I’m not sure if this is actually a good thing this time since these shops are basically dead for the next month, but I’ll take it anyway. :ribena:
  • Festive Dan vs. Phil - SANTA BANTER! (11 December 2018)
    itasca00 wrote: Wed Dec 12, 2018 5:56 am
    • Individual merch links have returned for this video, and they point to danandphilshop.com.
  • BATTLE FOR THE BOOTY - Dan and Phil Play: Golf With Friends #7 (14 December 2018)
    itasca00 wrote: Sat Dec 15, 2018 12:38 am
    • Both Dan and Phil's individual merch links point to danandphilshop.com, which is still fine since the joint shop is still in operation.
  • Who should we date? Dan and Phil play Heart♡Throb! (16 December 2018)
    itasca00 wrote: Mon Dec 17, 2018 6:38 am
    • All is well with the individual merch links...for now.
  • Dan vs. Phil - THE FINAL BATTLE (18 December 2018)
    itasca00 wrote: Wed Dec 19, 2018 1:12 am
  • BOYS IN THE BIG CITY - Dan and Phil Play: Sims 4 #59 (20 December 2018)
    itasca00 wrote: Fri Dec 21, 2018 1:04 am
    • Oh, my. The video description. All of the individual social media links are duplicated. In one set, the merch links point to shop.danielhowell.com and amazingphilshop.com. In the other, they both point to danandphilshop.com. I guess this is one way to make sure you have your bases covered... Once again, I'm feeling very trolled by Dan and Phil.
  • THE DALIEN EPISODE - Dan and Phil Play: Sims 4 #60 (21 December 2018)
    itasca00 wrote: Sat Dec 22, 2018 6:31 pm
    • There is only one set of social media links this time, which is a relief. Individual merch links point to shop.danielhowell.com and amazingphilshop.com. I find this questionable while the combined shop is in operation, but I won’t complain.
  • DAB GETS FAMOUS - Dan and Phil Play: Sims 4 #61 (22 December 2018)
    itasca00 wrote: Sun Dec 23, 2018 3:44 am
    • Individual merch links again point to individual shops for this video.
  • DIL RETIRES - Dan and Phil Play: Sims 4 #62 (23 December 2018)
    itasca00 wrote: Sun Dec 23, 2018 10:42 pm
    • Dan and Phil’s individual merch links continue to point to their individual merch shops.
  • DIL'S FAMILY WINTERFEST - Dan and Phil Play: Sims 4 #63 (24 December 2018)
    itasca00 wrote: Wed Dec 26, 2018 8:48 pm
    • In the video description of the final gaming video “for now,” merch links continue to point to individual merch shops.
^ you’re a hero as are the other people fiddling with their own channels

Obviously I like the theory that the privately uploaded and added a video to the playlist and will then make public when ready. But is that something they would do? Is it something they have ever done? Would we even know? Is it something you would only notice because it was added to a playlist?

Idk man, at least they remember the password.

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Re: Dan & Phil Part 90: Fish Daddies

Post by sapienveneficus » Thu Oct 03, 2019 1:38 pm

Tornbetweenfandoms wrote: Thu Oct 03, 2019 9:33 am *unwarranted topic change*
Carrie Hope Fletcher just posted this blog post and I think it's a really interesting read. Tbh it might be some of the reason we're seeing so much less of dnp online.

http://www.carriehopefletcher.com/2019/ ... o.html?m=1
I'm proud of Carrie. She identified the source of her anxiety and took steps to cut it out of her life so she can lead a more healthy, balanced existence. Kudos!

For Dan and Phil, if they ever felt as strongly as Carrie did about social media, they'd be in a bit of a pickle. Carrie may have started out as a YouTuber/online personality, but now her career as a West End actress is pretty removed from all that. She can choose to cut off social media that isn't work related because that won't impact her livelihood. Dan and Phil, as internetainers (if I can borrow the Rhett and Link term) would have a much harder doing that because we, their online audience, are their sole source of income.

This does bring me back to something I've been wondering for quite awhile. They've cut out almost all of their revenue streams this year (DnPGames, Dan's main channel videos, and, until very recently, liveshows.) Now, while I'm sure they made money on last year's tour (mostly from merch sales since that's how tours tend to make a profit) and I'm sure they were saving/investing a lot of their non tour income back in 2017 and 2018, I do wonder how long they can go on without new income. Right now, they're only bringing in a bit of merch money (I'm guessing it's not much after they've paid the IRL employees, especially with all the discounts and sales they've been having this year) and any ad sense/spon from Phil's channel. That may keep them going for awhile if they're living off of their savings/investments, but that doesn't seem sustainable in the long term. So, back to what I've been wondering, I guess I'd be curious to know if they've factored their finances into the decisions they've made this year, especially Dan. Phil's still working to bring in income, it's less than in year's past, but he's still working. I don't know, if I were in Phil's position, and my boyfriend/husband decided to not work for a year and left me the sole provider, I'd be a bit cheesed off.

Okay, that last paragraph got a bit rambly. I guess, overall, I just wonder how they reconcile their need to make a living with all of the career decisions they've been making.
"Someone, somewhere is into that." Daniel Howell

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Re: Dan & Phil Part 90: Fish Daddies

Post by noodlebum » Thu Oct 03, 2019 1:53 pm

They'd make ad money from people viewing their previous videos still as well wouldn't they? Alright not as much as if they uploaded regularly, but there's still fans watching their old stuff so that would add a bit to their earnings.

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Re: Dan & Phil Part 90: Fish Daddies

Post by autumnhearth » Thu Oct 03, 2019 1:57 pm

You’d be cheesed off that your partner of 10 years, who built an empire with you, who is the reason you are a millionaire, and who worked hard for years while struggling with their mental health decided they needed to take some time off after two world tours? Well golly gosh, luckily Dan has a more understanding partner.

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Re: Dan & Phil Part 90: Fish Daddies

Post by sapienveneficus » Thu Oct 03, 2019 2:00 pm

noodlebum wrote: Thu Oct 03, 2019 1:53 pm They'd make ad money from people viewing their previous videos still as well wouldn't they? Alright not as much as if they uploaded regularly, but there's still fans watching their old stuff so that would add a bit to their earnings.
They probably do, but it'd be pennies not dollars.
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Re: Dan & Phil Part 90: Fish Daddies

Post by sapienveneficus » Thu Oct 03, 2019 2:06 pm

autumnhearth wrote: Thu Oct 03, 2019 1:57 pm You’d be cheesed off that your partner of 10 years, who built an empire with you, who is the reason you are a millionaire, and who worked hard for years while struggling with their mental health decided they needed to take some time off after two world tours? Well golly gosh, luckily Dan has a more understanding partner.
Yes, I absolutely would. People keep tossing around that phrase "take some time off." Taking breaks is certainly important, but I would expect my boyfriend or husband to be reasonable about it. Take a few weeks, maybe a month, but not 10. It's October for goodness sake! Who takes 10 months off? Also, now that I think about it, if I were Phil, I'd be getting frustrated. He's been carrying the entire fandom on his shoulders all year. That's not fair to Phil.

So yeah, to answer your original question, of my boyfriend/husband decided to peace out to go "find himself or whatever" for 10 months and left me to run our business entirely by myself, I'd be cheesed off.
"Someone, somewhere is into that." Daniel Howell

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Re: Dan & Phil Part 90: Fish Daddies

Post by noodlebum » Thu Oct 03, 2019 2:11 pm

We don't know how much Dan helps Phil with his videos or IRL with the merch stuff behind the scenes. Work stuff Dan's doing which isn't visible to us yet.... There's a lot we don't know and for good reason. Frustrating for us, but I'm sure Phil's fine with it and if he isn't they'd have been discussing these sort of things together.

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Re: Dan & Phil Part 90: Fish Daddies

Post by alittledizzy » Thu Oct 03, 2019 2:20 pm

sapienveneficus wrote: Thu Oct 03, 2019 2:06 pm
autumnhearth wrote: Thu Oct 03, 2019 1:57 pm You’d be cheesed off that your partner of 10 years, who built an empire with you, who is the reason you are a millionaire, and who worked hard for years while struggling with their mental health decided they needed to take some time off after two world tours? Well golly gosh, luckily Dan has a more understanding partner.
Yes, I absolutely would. People keep tossing around that phrase "take some time off." Taking breaks is certainly important, but I would expect my boyfriend or husband to be reasonable about it. Take a few weeks, maybe a month, but not 10. It's October for goodness sake! Who takes 10 months off? Also, now that I think about it, if I were Phil, I'd be getting frustrated. He's been carrying the entire fandom on his shoulders all year. That's not fair to Phil.

So yeah, to answer your original question, of my boyfriend/husband decided to peace out to go "find himself or whatever" for 10 months and left me to run our business entirely by myself, I'd be cheesed off.
The actual amount of time Dan took off was more like six months, during which we know he was actively working on a project - which Phil absolutely knew about and saw the level of effort that went into. It wasn't Dan "going to find himself" it was Dan scripting and filming a coming out video while also coming out to his family and coming to terms with his own sexuality.

In the time since then he's done merch drops, a public appearance, appeared in Phil's most recent video, and resumed a more or less normal activity level on social media. Do we wish it was more? Sure. Is it fair to say he's done nothing? In my opinion, no, not at all.

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Re: Dan & Phil Part 90: Fish Daddies

Post by Megancita75 » Thu Oct 03, 2019 3:22 pm

I would also say that people who are who self-employed in creative industries have to approach their financial lives and financial planning quite differently than people who have regular paychecks. They have had many, many years to get used to having variable and unpredictable incomes, and they probably have a strategy in place after all those years of experience for how to manage their budget in a way that provides a buffer for the unpredictably of their income stream.

In practical terms, I imagine that means that last year when they knew this period of transition and less content was ahead of them that they likely planned out how to budget for the upcoming year -- maybe by cutting expenses but also by building up a savings account specifically to pay for a long period of lower income. For their sake, I also hope they've received some solid financial advice over the years and have made some investments -- either in stocks or in real estate -- that will provide them with some reliable income. I doubt very much they went into this without a long-term, manageable financial plan in place.

On a related note, though, I would be curious how they divide income in terms of what they treat as individual income and joint income. Like, do they keep income for themselves from their individual channels but treat DAPG income as joint? Or do they split everything evenly or consider everything joint? Is one or the other more involved in managing the money and making money decisions? I'm always fascinated how couples handle money.

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Re: Dan & Phil Part 90: Fish Daddies

Post by Ataraxia25 » Thu Oct 03, 2019 4:58 pm

My french ass wants to cry.

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Re: Dan & Phil Part 90: Fish Daddies

Post by bluecaterpillar » Thu Oct 03, 2019 4:59 pm

i think they're still getting a pretty decent amount through merch sales - phil's space merch did really well, the t-shirt sold out within a day or two i think, and dan's shop shows a bunch of this year's merch which either sold out or has only recently got new stocks in. the discounts are only to shift the remaining stocks of old merch from as far back as 2015, which wouldn't be selling very well these days anyway. as far as i'm concerned, the balance sheets for their individual companies show that neither of them needs to lose any sleep over their finances in the near future.
Megancita75 wrote: Thu Oct 03, 2019 3:22 pm On a related note, though, I would be curious how they divide income in terms of what they treat as individual income and joint income. Like, do they keep income for themselves from their individual channels but treat DAPG income as joint? Or do they split everything evenly or consider everything joint? Is one or the other more involved in managing the money and making money decisions? I'm always fascinated how couples handle money.
i wonder this as well - where do they put their dapg money? nest egg to pay for their forever home :foreverhome: maybe that's what they use the 'dan and phil productions' company for.

re dan 'doing nothing' for ten months - he was obviously working on irl digital stuff behind the scenes, in addition to his coming out video. the last career update we had from him was filmed at vidcon in july, where he said he had no idea what he was going to do next. but that was months ago, he could well have decided on his next steps career-wise and be working towards them now. because everything seems to be under wraps and behind the scenes, we have no way of knowing. obviously this is all baseless speculation and he could have just been sitting on his arse since summer, but i suspect he's been up to something.
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Re: Dan & Phil Part 90: Fish Daddies

Post by rizzo » Thu Oct 03, 2019 5:03 pm

I'm equally if not more frustrated than anyone else that we're not getting more content from Dan, but the assumption that we know what Dan's doing with his days seems silly to me.

If Phil's DML2 taught us nothing else, we should know by now that at any given moment the both of them - Dan very much included - could be working on a number of larger projects. And maybe they're not even front-facing in the longterm, maybe they're back-end stuff, like making changes to IRL, restructuring how they deal with their finances, getting involved with the scripting/directing of a larger production company's project, etc. Maybe some of what Dan's working on is personal, in which case, what's personal to him is probably just as valuable to Phil: designing their new home, planning their upcoming trips/vacations, dealing with bigger family issues we have no idea about, planning a wedding (sorry I had to throw it in there).

These are all things we might never get insight into, but that appear to us as if Dan's not contributing anything and that's just plain incorrect.

I think Project Sphere included the both of them. Frankly, I assume anything either of them say mostly includes the both of them. So, I'm sure Phil has no issue whatsoever with what Dan's doing with his days. Phil said he loves making videos for us and liveshows are a source of income he probably values, so yes, he's working on those. Maybe Dan disagrees and is over youtube and couldn't care less about liveshows, so he's not doing them. They're doing what they want now. Not what the people want. And we - as the people, who didn't just get what we wanted in 2018 but like... DEFINITELY this year - just need to accept that.

This post isn't meant to come off harsh, so I hope it's not. it's just my POV as I also struggle through missing Dan pretty desperately.

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Re: Dan & Phil Part 90: Fish Daddies

Post by abundanceofbees » Thu Oct 03, 2019 5:04 pm

I’ve always been somewhat curious concerning the revenue topic as well. As someone who only has had hourly paying jobs in the past I can’t claim to understand the intricacies of self employment but I do wonder if it’s possible that DnP do any work outside of their separate/joint internet brands.

Things I’m not able to cite but think I remember: Dan (?) was asked to/did help a company with their internet presence? It might’ve been a car company?? Also it might be a reach but when they considered flipping that house, I wondered if that was something they ever did again. I know some people that make very good money off of flipping houses and if you have the capital to put into the investment it can have quite the payoff. There’s also the typical stock investments and I’m sure countless other avenues but from time to time I do wonder what percentage of their income is actually from what we as viewers/consumers generate.

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Re: Dan & Phil Part 90: Fish Daddies

Post by plinthofmylife » Thu Oct 03, 2019 5:36 pm

Is it time for me to do my usual tune-in with "hi i am a self employed creative who works in online media and sells and distributes merch and here's my take"?

At this point it's simple, I've said it a bunch
- They have money, they get income from their back catalog, plz stop worrying so much. They financially set themselves up much better than a lot of other youtubers with the way they diversified income streams and built specific brands (and also a business that can serve other people in the industry if they decide to stop making videos)
- They probably have some investments (god I hope they do), I sincerely doubt they have any "active" real estate investments because those take a lot of work and expertise they don't seem to have, but they may have REITs or otherwise passive real estate investments. They'd pay hella stamp tax though at their income level on buying physical property in the UK
- I do not think they're doing contract work for other brands since they have such a large personal brand to capitalize off of, and I GUARANTEE them and their management are turning down plenty of brand deals
- They're almost guaranteed to be working on something but the problem with working in this industry is that everything is secret until you announce, takes a lot of time, and may just die at any point
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Re: Dan & Phil Part 90: Fish Daddies

Post by pearshaped34 » Thu Oct 03, 2019 5:56 pm

sapienveneficus wrote: Thu Oct 03, 2019 1:38 pm Right now, they're only bringing in a bit of merch money (I'm guessing it's not much after they've paid the IRL employees, especially with all the discounts and sales they've been having this year) and any ad sense/spon from Phil's channel. That may keep them going for awhile if they're living off of their savings/investments, but that doesn't seem sustainable in the long term. So, back to what I've been wondering, I guess I'd be curious to know if they've factored their finances into the decisions they've made this year, especially Dan. Phil's still working to bring in income, it's less than in year's past, but he's still working. I don't know, if I were in Phil's position, and my boyfriend/husband decided to not work for a year and left me the sole provider, I'd be a bit cheesed off.
I'd be very surprised if all Dan's YT/tour/radio/merch/liveshow money was gone and he needed to rely on Phil to pay his way. In fact I imagine his still rich af even after taking all this time off.

Plus like you say he is still making merch money and also Dan's solo channel still gets at least a million views a month and D&P games gets a couple of million so while it may not be big bucks anymore he will still be getting a monthly cheque from YT.
sapienveneficus wrote: Thu Oct 03, 2019 2:00 pm
noodlebum wrote: Thu Oct 03, 2019 1:53 pm They'd make ad money from people viewing their previous videos still as well wouldn't they? Alright not as much as if they uploaded regularly, but there's still fans watching their old stuff so that would add a bit to their earnings.
They probably do, but it'd be pennies not dollars.
A video Tomska one made on this stated his adsense was like £1000 per million views. This was 2016 so may not still be accurate and/or D&Ps could be lower (or higher) but still I think it's means if Dan is still getting a few million views a month over his channels he is making more than pennies a month. I'm not saying if he had no savings or merch money he'd be able to live off it (well not where he lives now anyway) but it is still probably a good chunk of change.
Last edited by pearshaped34 on Thu Oct 03, 2019 6:06 pm, edited 2 times in total.

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Re: Dan & Phil Part 90: Fish Daddies

Post by nicky1388 » Thu Oct 03, 2019 6:02 pm

Can i say that there are many couples out there where one partner works and the other doesn't. Yeah, this may typically be due to children but it doesn't have to be.

Also, they're entertainers who have obviously made a decent amount of money and at this point have had financial advise on how to manage it and make it last. It isn't unusual for entertainers to take time off and do other things.

Shane's done it while working on his huge thing with Jeffree this year. Yeah, he's been in Ryland's vodeos but we haven't seen all his behind the scenes work. We just see much more because they allow cameras so much further into their lives.

I kinda see Dan and Phil in the same way. Dan's working on his things and Phil's doing his things. They're just expressed and produced in vastly different ways on two divergent timelines.

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Re: Dan & Phil Part 90: Fish Daddies

Post by glitterintheair » Thu Oct 03, 2019 6:46 pm

autumnhearth wrote: Thu Oct 03, 2019 10:23 am Idk man, at least they remember the password.
Sorry but this made me laugh so hard :rofl:
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Re: Dan & Phil Part 90: Fish Daddies

Post by Judearaya » Thu Oct 03, 2019 7:08 pm

ok, so hi everyone! I've been a lurker here for a few months. Just for some quick context, I got sucked into Phandom while I've been recovering from (well I'm still in recovery) post concussion syndrome. I stumbled across BIG and got sucked in because at the time, one of the only things my brain could tolerate was these short videos. I've known Dizzy for years (in fact I JUST remembered that I used to beta for her! LOL doh) and she's been my gateway to all things Phan for a while now. I tell y'all this because while I'm way better in some ways, recovery wise, writing is one of the things that is hardest for me (in fact I'm getting a headache writing this). So, you might not see me again for a bit, and also, I might not be able to make my points as eloquently as I'd normally be able to because some cognitive processes are just not running yet.

Anyway, I wanted to dip in really quickly because I have first hand experience in being the partner who a) was the at home mom/partner and b) went through a mental breakdown. Setting aside the fact that being a stay at home mom is incredibly hard work, one of the things my husband and I struggle/d the most with when I went back to school to get my PhD was the division of invisible labor (which does include kid stuff in our particular case but invisible labor is generally a *thing* in partnerships. I could go into a whole side note about this bc this is some of the stuff I study at school for my phd but my brain is not up for it). Who picks up the mess, who dusts the baseboards, who does all the little things that go into maintaining a house that are often completely unseen? While we have absolutely no way to know how Phil and Dan divide labor (or if they have help outside from elsewhere), I think assuming that Dan *potentially* not working is murky ground. As many have said, we have no way of knowing who does what on the back end of their work related to their jobs; just so, we have no way of knowing how they divide or approach invisible labor as well.

As for the mental breakdown, this is really difficult territory. I've been the person in a marriage who had a full blown mental breakdown after having my second kiddo and yeah, it was HARD on my marriage. Not because my husband didn't support me, but because the entire way we structured our lives had to change. Sometimes there were resentments, misunterstandings, tension, all of that. But at the end of the day, we are both all in, full out committed to my mental health and whatever we need to do to maintain it, because otherwise, there *is* no marriage, not partnership, no mom, no best friend, etc. I'm not saying Dan has had a mental breakdown like this, because I have no insight into the really private parts of his mental health journey and how he and Phil have worked out what it will take to make their relationship stronger and more viable when adding in the component of mental health--on both of their ends.

Basically, in sum, there's no way of knowing any of these things, because all we see is the tip of an iceberg. BUT I think it's important to keep how complex these things are in mind when looking at something from an external POV. (I also hope this does not come off as combative in any way, I am just having to make my points quickly and concisely because my head hurts quite a bit now).

Megancita75
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Re: Dan & Phil Part 90: Fish Daddies

Post by Megancita75 » Thu Oct 03, 2019 7:16 pm

Hey Judearaya, welcome! This is an excellent first post and makes some really great points about invisible labor and how mental health issues test a relationship. You have a very humane view, which I appreciate. Rest up!

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itasca00
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Re: Dan & Phil Part 90: Fish Daddies

Post by itasca00 » Thu Oct 03, 2019 9:53 pm

abundanceofbees wrote: Thu Oct 03, 2019 5:04 pm Things I’m not able to cite but think I remember: Dan (?) was asked to/did help a company with their internet presence? It might’ve been a car company??
Yes, you remember correctly. Here is your citation:
itasca00 wrote: Thu Sep 20, 2018 11:31 pm
  • [15:32] Apparently, Mercedes contacted Dan when they were setting up their Twitter and Instagram accounts to...hit him up for some social media tips? Then, he visited their headquarters three years ago, and they told him to let them know if he ever wanted to see a race. And calling in that favor is how he and Phil got to go to the F1 Singapore Grand Prix.
You're being beamed up by aggressive aliens and they're plugging in the anal probe
"Oh, God. Okay. I say: *shrug* [...] I'd be like, 'I don't know how this works. Put a condom on that thing. *shrug*'"
Dan Howell, 5/10/18 Try new things..?

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Re: Dan & Phil Part 90: Fish Daddies

Post by noodlebum » Thu Oct 03, 2019 10:24 pm

Please let Dan and Phil have watched Drag Race UK by Sunday, I want to hear Phil's review and favourites in his live show!

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Re: Dan & Phil Part 90: Fish Daddies

Post by Ataraxia25 » Thu Oct 03, 2019 11:57 pm

<3 <3 <3

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Re: Dan & Phil Part 90: Fish Daddies

Post by bevioletsky » Fri Oct 04, 2019 12:08 am

^ it’s way too late for me to be awake but the substance of the tweet and Dan referring to his ‘gay ass’ have me feeling awfully soft in these wee hours so 🥺

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Re: Dan & Phil Part 90: Fish Daddies

Post by plinthofmylife » Fri Oct 04, 2019 12:15 am

He has a LOT of opinions in the replies. I am so happy that we have Drag Race UK Season 1 in the PCOU. SO HAPPY.
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