Dan & Phil Part 92: japhan 2.0

[dogsaremybestfriends]

Is it weird that I would love to see Owen Jones interview Dan? I would like to know more about his views and the campaigns/causes he's been backing (specifically with regards to mental health and LGBT+ issues). I'd even like to hear more about his views on wider social/economic issues too (e.g. housing, employment, etc.) and Brexit, but he probably doesn't feel as though he has enough confidence/knowledge to speak about these topics. It would be interesting to hear him talk at length about all that though. I kind of just want to see an interaction between them as well. Not too sure why. I like Owen Jones's channel on YouTube, and I like to read his pieces in the Guardian from time to time too. I suppose Dan would be hesitant to do something like that, probably feeling like he's not really 'qualified' to give opinions or influence people too much, but I can't deny that I've wanted this to happen for a while now.

[bevioletsky]

Phil just retweeted dan’s tweet. 2019 really is a different timeline

Didn’t Phil tweet about voting the last time around (2017) or do I remember incorrectly? I seem to recall a gif of a cat or a kitten or some animal being involved... But it’s always possible I was dreaming, I cba to check. It’s nice though, and I was waiting for Dan to respond to Owen, not at all surprised he didn’t tag three other people though lol. I don’t have anything particularly new or insightful to say about Phil’s politics as I think it’s a conversation people have had many times over the years but I think I basically agree with obsessivelymoody - at the very least I was always highly sceptical of the ‘Phil is a secret Tory’-theories.

No one added the stories from yesterday in the thread but before today’s ones surely what I think is only the second proper joint selfie of the year deserves to be here? I really love it, it’s not about the perfect angles or lighting but rather just a moment of pure, encapsulated happiness and that’s what makes it kind of perfect imo.

[noodlebum]

Dan's hair is glorious in today's instastories. Also those strawberries are so anaemic - I hope they tasted nicer than they looked! Asakusa looks gorgeous Koi love (betta will do haha)

[madzilla84]

Nooo, why won’t the AU shop ship internationally? I’d have ponied up for the insane shipping, boooo!

I find it hard to imagine Phil voting Tory nowadays; but there’s often so much of a hangover from parents when young people start voting (which is why it’s so important when people like Dan with a huge, young, left-leaning audience raise awareness, which I suspect is why Owen tagged him) - one of my closest friends is gay and voted Tory but they said it was for ‘economic reasons’ (which, ugh; not getting into it because it’s off topic but - mate), but they come from a wealthy, upper middle class family and I feel like that had a lot to do with it. I’ve been surprised (and disappointed) quite a few times by people I otherwise like very much voting Tory or voting for Brexit.

I can’t vote in UK elections but hope everyone does who can ... I think making it mandatory is a great idea, but I don’t know if they ever will.

[Amiaw]

I have been loving how almost every story they post on their individual stories is their story and after being deprived of dan and phil for almost the whole year this is nice.
I’m going to be sad when they go home and I’m sure they’re probably winding down but I wonder if they’re leaving tomorrow making their trip a full 2 weeks or if they’re staying longer. Will and Arden are leaving tomorrow and it would be funny if they met up on the flight home since it seems like they didn’t see each other in Tokyo

[alittledizzy]

Okay help me out guys - I need your favorite one line dan and Phil quotes. Funny, stupid, heartfelt - whatever.

[CapriciousCrab]

Okay help me out guys - I need your favorite one line dan and Phil quotes. Funny, stupid, heartfelt - whatever.

Who makes the rules? Me. - phil
I don't want to get murder haunted- phil
Coffins are scary and unpredictable-phil

Just call me Dan the cat lord- dan
You absolute turnip- dan
I'm a hungry little dude - dan

[Scout]

Okay help me out guys - I need your favorite one line dan and Phil quotes. Funny, stupid, heartfelt - whatever.

“Only the sweet release of death itself can give me the orgasm I so desperately crave.”

[madytastic]

Okay help me out guys - I need your favorite one line dan and Phil quotes. Funny, stupid, heartfelt - whatever.

"How many times have I said "oh, can a match box, NO but a TiN cAn!!!" Fucking meteors!!!"

[flarequake]

‘Come in my lady door!’
‘Strap yourself in, Danny!’
‘I’ve spent the majority of 2016 with another person... Dan Howell, so I think it’s only fair that he come up and share this with me.’

‘Watch me, dad!’
‘Crow pose!’
‘Don’t dip-shame me.’
‘I’ll find you in any world, Phil!’
‘Phil Lester! You’re a GENIUS!’

[madzilla84]

I'll probably remember more in like 5 minutes, but:

I’m a cute, and I’m having a stress reaction all the time.
The more glass, the more ass
I’m British and I walk on the pavement
You gave me Nickelback and yeast. I don’t want those. Especially not at the same time
We are real best friends. Companions through life … like, actual soulmates.
Never Google Extreme Granny.
We have a best friends club and it’s just us.
I will find you in any world, Phil
I’m obsessed with your curl, Dan
I’m calm, I’m chill, I’m doing things with Phil
I am Phil Trash #1, and that is my origin story

[Susanisnotafish]

Phil: “Fuck”
Dan: “I love shoving shells up my ass”

[knq]

I love seeing all these quotes in the thread!

Most of my favorites are just the keysmash noises they make at each other and/or cute animals.

[alittledizzy]

Oh yes, keep 'em coming!! These are perfect. (And you'll see what I need them for in a few days!)

[Judearaya]

Okay help me out guys - I need your favorite one line dan and Phil quotes. Funny, stupid, heartfelt - whatever.

"How many times have I said "oh, can a match box, NO but a TiN cAn!!!" Fucking meteors!!!"

not super helpful to Mandy, but i would have picked this too.

Should the universe ever grace me (probably not) with an opportunity to take a picture with these two, I want to give Dan a matchbox, Phil a tin can, and I'll dress like a fucking meteor.

[bluecaterpillar]

dan:
'fuck you mario kart, and your stupid shitty random items'
*four solid seconds of bleeped-out swear words* 'weasel' *another bleep*
'just two bros... bishi-bashying with each other'
'please be gentle with the handcuffs, i have sensitive skin. please be gentle with the handcuffs, i have sensitive skin.
'phil phil phil, phil phil phil phil! vlogging! vlogging! vlogging! vlogging! vlogging! yeah! time to wake up! time to wake up! time to wake up! wooo!'
'this ain't interstellar, bitch!'
'they're the same fans, phil. they're just allowed to express themselves on my channel'
'd'you know what it tastes like? it tastes like a FUCKING CORPSE! and i don't know what a corpse tastes like, before you all say that in the comments'
'now, i don't want to get in trouble for saying this, or probed by anyone - well... "anyone"...'
'this is a raw ass pumpkin! it's an ass pumpkin. they're very unpopular'
'oooh, it's a bain-marie'
'giraffes are like, soooo fake'
'i- there is no point playing this game if you can't read the answers after what the hell is wrong with you i am going to kill you to death'

phil:
'you little umbrella monkey faced quacksack'
'what's your favourite beyonce?'
'i've already started a family in this hole'
'if i had a house, i would make every window glass'
'come back! bring the holy mother and her squirrel disciples!'
'my god. that is not how i wanted to meet an owl for the first time. so yeah that's all i have to say really *whacks himself in the face with a book and falls out of shot*
'just mix your cocaine into the slime'
'bow to me, biatch'
'sexy, everything about frankenstein is sexy, he don't even want to ki-iiill, just get inside my tummy, ooh yeah'
'parchment it up, yo'
'i can't i don't have legs'
'she says you're. an idiot'
'why do they call it... spoons'
'hey, does your, uh, external valve connect to the main flowpipe?'

help... once i started i couldn't stop adding more quotes

[CapriciousCrab]

That's some good scissoring- phil
Touch me, I'm real- phil
Sorry girls, I've chosen Daniel- phil

I'm gonna murder you to death- dan
Alright, duckling, need some help?- dan

[alittledizzy]

Jeremy Corbyn retweeted Dan, he's gonna be so hyped!

[obsessivelymoody]

If I had more time I'd think of more but a couple personal faves are:
Phil-
Why do they call it spoons
I cant. I dont have legs
I am better at climbing muscular men than you

Dan-
I'm calm, I'm chill, I'm doing things with Phil
Get in my mouth you saucy, yellow fuck

[starwatersong]

Cute!

[dontpanic]

Jeremy Corbyn retweeted Dan, he's gonna be so hyped!

reminds me of when Edward Snowden retweeted him... still not over that

[noodlebum]

Dan, taking mickey out of Phil: "Ooh, why would people just go on Google, and Google 'apple tree'?"

[liola]

Phil "I can't, I don't have legs"

Dan "I'm a cute, and I'm having a stress reaction all the time"

[noodlebum]

Phil: 'Don't bang me, I'm not dirt.'

[madzilla84]

Don’t be mean, you’ve only got one Phil.