I was chatting with a friend/sometimes IDB user last night who has a graduate degree in psychology about this topic. I'm just gonna embed her post on it (which was done before we knew the name of the professional, I think) because I appreciate the insight (and all insight, including the people on this forum) from other professionals.
Another thing she added in our conversation was that as a professional you're taught to always tell patients to find hope and encouragement wherever they can find it because sometimes that’s the thing that keeps you going until it gets better, which I think is actually something Dan and Phil both have experience with - being that thing that keeps other people going. How many times on tour did people tell Dan and Phil that their videos kept them going, saved their lives, etc? I remember Dan being really emotionally impacted by the mother who told them that about her child.
I wouldn't be surprised to learn one day that Dan knowing that he had a lot of people in his audience that felt that way led him to wanting to pursue the path of publishing a book about depression/anxiety and working with a professional to offer those same people more options.
Dan & Phil Part 96: AmazingPhil (and his cameraman)
- alittledizzy
- actual demon phannie
- Posts: 7100
- Joined: Sat Mar 26, 2016 3:09 pm
- Pronouns: she/her
OMG I wrote a whole long-ass post and then stupidly deleted it.
Ok, so I wanted to say that I am really grateful for everyone in here. Even when I disagree with something or someone else is disagreeing, I've appreciated how it's been thoughtful and everyone has so much insight and cares so much! Even if I continue to disagree or change my mind, all of this conversation has really tasked me with mining deep for *why* I think something and what informs that etc. I'm really pleased that this space exists! I also want to apologize if I come off as like, preachy or too long winded in my posts. Intoapuddle and I were talking about something unrelated last night and she pointed out that I tend to come to everything with a teaching mindset, which I totally didn't realize? Hopefully this has not made y'all hate me LOL. I tend to worry a lot that I come off like a know it all or an ass and I promise, I try to be a good non-ass human and also, I know nothing and readily admit it lol.
Onto other things:
On a total aside I also have been thinking about the idea of professional advice and psychiatrists and psychologists and therapists and thinking back on my own journey with mental illness ::insert this is gonna get personal noise:: I would never say I am an expert in medications for mental illness at all, and the only thing I'd ever encourage someone is to talk to a professional about what might be right for them. If I'm talking to a friend and it's like, part of the conversation, I might encourage them to examine their thoughts or behaviors so that they can try to talk them through with a doctor if they go to see one (I am also a fan of reminding myself and others to write questions down before you see any kind of doctor because lord knows that shit flies right out of my brain the minute I walk into a doctors office). This is all totally informed by my journey to get to the right medications to treat my mental illness which was, at the time, like a mythical mental illness no one had heard of (jk it was just a rare diagnosis then but more and more I am meeting people who are also cyclothemic). ANYWAY. I guess where I'm going here is to say that I am hesitant to tell people to put their full faith in ANYONE because that can also be dangerous. I had three trained professionals misdiagnose me, give me medications that literally set my brain chemistry on fire, send me into a full paranoid, *dangerous* mental breakdown, and we all went along with it because we trusted those professional oppinions more than our fears or judgement and so we (my husband and sister and I) continued to do as we were instructed even with mounting evidence (from them knowing me and like, my life) that the treatement was making me worse and not better.
I don't at ALL say this to discourage anyone from seeking treatment or taking medications because both have saved my life. It was a journey and it often is and sometimes it takes a while to find the right med--I think even Dan talked about this?--so I really hope this doesn't come off as discouraging. Just, you know. Know that no one human, even the most educated one, is infallible. (This is sort of an aside from the Dan conversation? But along with it? Because please, learn from Dan's book if you can but know that neither he nor any trained professionals involved are infallible and no advice will be universally helpful, but I didn't get the sense from what he said or the summary that they think it will be).
Ok, so I wanted to say that I am really grateful for everyone in here. Even when I disagree with something or someone else is disagreeing, I've appreciated how it's been thoughtful and everyone has so much insight and cares so much! Even if I continue to disagree or change my mind, all of this conversation has really tasked me with mining deep for *why* I think something and what informs that etc. I'm really pleased that this space exists! I also want to apologize if I come off as like, preachy or too long winded in my posts. Intoapuddle and I were talking about something unrelated last night and she pointed out that I tend to come to everything with a teaching mindset, which I totally didn't realize? Hopefully this has not made y'all hate me LOL. I tend to worry a lot that I come off like a know it all or an ass and I promise, I try to be a good non-ass human and also, I know nothing and readily admit it lol.
Onto other things:
I'm actually super glad I saw this (and your other great posts), because this was one of those "mining for why I feel like I do" moments, and yeah, trusting Dan is like, the crux of trusting him with this book. Not saying it'll be great or idk even speculating about the content. But trusting that he's going to try his best to do his best at this because that's who he's shown himself to be over the years. So yeah that helps.
I definitely don't think you came of as judge-y at all and thought you brought excellent perspectives! I get the feeling of anxiety, I often feel that way. But I do hope you continue to share your thoughts!
On a total aside I also have been thinking about the idea of professional advice and psychiatrists and psychologists and therapists and thinking back on my own journey with mental illness ::insert this is gonna get personal noise:: I would never say I am an expert in medications for mental illness at all, and the only thing I'd ever encourage someone is to talk to a professional about what might be right for them. If I'm talking to a friend and it's like, part of the conversation, I might encourage them to examine their thoughts or behaviors so that they can try to talk them through with a doctor if they go to see one (I am also a fan of reminding myself and others to write questions down before you see any kind of doctor because lord knows that shit flies right out of my brain the minute I walk into a doctors office). This is all totally informed by my journey to get to the right medications to treat my mental illness which was, at the time, like a mythical mental illness no one had heard of (jk it was just a rare diagnosis then but more and more I am meeting people who are also cyclothemic). ANYWAY. I guess where I'm going here is to say that I am hesitant to tell people to put their full faith in ANYONE because that can also be dangerous. I had three trained professionals misdiagnose me, give me medications that literally set my brain chemistry on fire, send me into a full paranoid, *dangerous* mental breakdown, and we all went along with it because we trusted those professional oppinions more than our fears or judgement and so we (my husband and sister and I) continued to do as we were instructed even with mounting evidence (from them knowing me and like, my life) that the treatement was making me worse and not better.
I don't at ALL say this to discourage anyone from seeking treatment or taking medications because both have saved my life. It was a journey and it often is and sometimes it takes a while to find the right med--I think even Dan talked about this?--so I really hope this doesn't come off as discouraging. Just, you know. Know that no one human, even the most educated one, is infallible. (This is sort of an aside from the Dan conversation? But along with it? Because please, learn from Dan's book if you can but know that neither he nor any trained professionals involved are infallible and no advice will be universally helpful, but I didn't get the sense from what he said or the summary that they think it will be).
-
- living flop
- Posts: 114
- Joined: Sun Mar 25, 2018 10:56 pm
- Location: Denmark
I can’t help but being incredibly excited for this book. I’m kinda shocked that people are taking it this way. I feel it was probably dans intention to write a book about his own experiences with mental health and depression (told w personal stories), but then didn’t want the book to only be this - a depressing tale ending up in perhaps happier days. I feel like he probably realized a book like this wouldn’t get the message across he want to get across. You can exactly write a book w your personal struggles w mental health, evolving into happier days, without then telling people how this happiness or thriving was achieved and THEREFORE, dan felt he needed to actually give some advice. Idk, I just think that pretty much justifies why he could be writing this book he’s writing.
I’m so excited for it - if not for the advice, h Th an at least the closer look into his journey. The “tomorrow” part is especially interesting to me.
I’m so excited for it - if not for the advice, h Th an at least the closer look into his journey. The “tomorrow” part is especially interesting to me.
I actually noticed that too and was wondering about that?dblyw wrote: ↑Tue Sep 15, 2020 10:52 pm
A separate thing I’ve been wondering about is the seeming lack of support from some of dan’s YouTube friends. I only follow a few people in his friend group, but noticed that several of them liked/commented on the lingerie pic, but none of them did on his book announcement on Instagram. I didn’t notice him liking many supportive tweets either. Maybe others that follow more of his friends have a different impression...just curious about it.
Noticed the same here, but I honestly think... and I'll probably put it a bit bluntly here but... this book is weird? It's a very different kind of project coming from someone most online creators probably still perceive as that-funny-extremely-popular-youtuber-that-fell-off-the-face-of-the-earth-for-a-year. And I imagine it's tough to find the right reaction between "wut." and "'wow!! so excited to read this (even though i probably won't)!"Judearaya wrote: ↑Wed Sep 16, 2020 8:20 pmI actually noticed that too and was wondering about that?dblyw wrote: ↑Tue Sep 15, 2020 10:52 pm
A separate thing I’ve been wondering about is the seeming lack of support from some of dan’s YouTube friends. I only follow a few people in his friend group, but noticed that several of them liked/commented on the lingerie pic, but none of them did on his book announcement on Instagram. I didn’t notice him liking many supportive tweets either. Maybe others that follow more of his friends have a different impression...just curious about it.
that's my two cents, though tbh... they really could have done the bare minimum so idk
- alittledizzy
- actual demon phannie
- Posts: 7100
- Joined: Sat Mar 26, 2016 3:09 pm
- Pronouns: she/her
I feel like that's the same reason it would be kinda... idk, less meaningful praise, too? From peers at least. I hope once it's published he's got friends/peers that actually read it and have meaningful support, though.rizzo wrote: ↑Wed Sep 16, 2020 8:26 pmNoticed the same here, but I honestly think... and I'll probably put it a bit bluntly here but... this book is weird? It's a very different kind of project coming from someone most online creators probably still perceive as that-funny-extremely-popular-youtuber-that-fell-off-the-face-of-the-earth-for-a-year. And I imagine it's tough to find the right reaction between "wut." and "'wow!! so excited to read this (even though i probably won't)!"Judearaya wrote: ↑Wed Sep 16, 2020 8:20 pmI actually noticed that too and was wondering about that?dblyw wrote: ↑Tue Sep 15, 2020 10:52 pm
A separate thing I’ve been wondering about is the seeming lack of support from some of dan’s YouTube friends. I only follow a few people in his friend group, but noticed that several of them liked/commented on the lingerie pic, but none of them did on his book announcement on Instagram. I didn’t notice him liking many supportive tweets either. Maybe others that follow more of his friends have a different impression...just curious about it.
that's my two cents, though tbh... they really could have done the bare minimum so idk
- sarmstr2
- pumpkin spice pumpkin cookie
- Posts: 133
- Joined: Tue May 23, 2017 5:03 pm
- Location: Tampa, FL
I mean a "congratulations dude" isn't that hard. Nothing indicating they are reading it or anything. Just being happy and celebrating a successful project. Shrug.alittledizzy wrote: ↑Wed Sep 16, 2020 8:45 pmI feel like that's the same reason it would be kinda... idk, less meaningful praise, too? From peers at least. I hope once it's published he's got friends/peers that actually read it and have meaningful support, though.rizzo wrote: ↑Wed Sep 16, 2020 8:26 pmNoticed the same here, but I honestly think... and I'll probably put it a bit bluntly here but... this book is weird? It's a very different kind of project coming from someone most online creators probably still perceive as that-funny-extremely-popular-youtuber-that-fell-off-the-face-of-the-earth-for-a-year. And I imagine it's tough to find the right reaction between "wut." and "'wow!! so excited to read this (even though i probably won't)!"Judearaya wrote: ↑Wed Sep 16, 2020 8:20 pmI actually noticed that too and was wondering about that?dblyw wrote: ↑Tue Sep 15, 2020 10:52 pm
A separate thing I’ve been wondering about is the seeming lack of support from some of dan’s YouTube friends. I only follow a few people in his friend group, but noticed that several of them liked/commented on the lingerie pic, but none of them did on his book announcement on Instagram. I didn’t notice him liking many supportive tweets either. Maybe others that follow more of his friends have a different impression...just curious about it.
that's my two cents, though tbh... they really could have done the bare minimum so idk
- alittledizzy
- actual demon phannie
- Posts: 7100
- Joined: Sat Mar 26, 2016 3:09 pm
- Pronouns: she/her
I realize my post sounded deflective, but I do agree with you. It's disappointing that no one is celebrating the project announcement for him.sarmstr2 wrote: ↑Wed Sep 16, 2020 9:15 pmI mean a "congratulations dude" isn't that hard. Nothing indicating they are reading it or anything. Just being happy and celebrating a successful project. Shrug.alittledizzy wrote: ↑Wed Sep 16, 2020 8:45 pmI feel like that's the same reason it would be kinda... idk, less meaningful praise, too? From peers at least. I hope once it's published he's got friends/peers that actually read it and have meaningful support, though.rizzo wrote: ↑Wed Sep 16, 2020 8:26 pmNoticed the same here, but I honestly think... and I'll probably put it a bit bluntly here but... this book is weird? It's a very different kind of project coming from someone most online creators probably still perceive as that-funny-extremely-popular-youtuber-that-fell-off-the-face-of-the-earth-for-a-year. And I imagine it's tough to find the right reaction between "wut." and "'wow!! so excited to read this (even though i probably won't)!"Judearaya wrote: ↑Wed Sep 16, 2020 8:20 pmI actually noticed that too and was wondering about that?dblyw wrote: ↑Tue Sep 15, 2020 10:52 pm
A separate thing I’ve been wondering about is the seeming lack of support from some of dan’s YouTube friends. I only follow a few people in his friend group, but noticed that several of them liked/commented on the lingerie pic, but none of them did on his book announcement on Instagram. I didn’t notice him liking many supportive tweets either. Maybe others that follow more of his friends have a different impression...just curious about it.
that's my two cents, though tbh... they really could have done the bare minimum so idk
I don't keep up with any of his YouTube friends but has Dan commented on or congratulated them on any of their big projects?
From watching other communities on YouTube a lot of promotion/support is very reciprocal and if someone hasn't talked about their book, music, Makeup or whatever they deliberately won't talk about the other persons project.
It could also be their friendship isn't that deep, just casual work colleagues who find easy to comment something tongue in cheek about a photo but not really sure what to say on a more serious topic, hopefully the people he's closer to messaged him privately.
From watching other communities on YouTube a lot of promotion/support is very reciprocal and if someone hasn't talked about their book, music, Makeup or whatever they deliberately won't talk about the other persons project.
It could also be their friendship isn't that deep, just casual work colleagues who find easy to comment something tongue in cheek about a photo but not really sure what to say on a more serious topic, hopefully the people he's closer to messaged him privately.
Most of their youtube acquaintances/friends ignored ii too. I don’t think there’s any bad intentions I just think that with this being an announcement it’s hard to get too excited. He’ll probably get shout outs when he sends out copies to people.
Also if what Louise and other people have said and it’s hard to get dan to answer their calls id imagine they might not be super close anyways
Also if what Louise and other people have said and it’s hard to get dan to answer their calls id imagine they might not be super close anyways
- autumnhearth
- senpai
- Posts: 1726
- Joined: Sat Apr 22, 2017 2:44 am
- Pronouns: she/her
- Location: OH, USA
Hard to know how this was taken by other YouTubers and who Dan even had in mind, but it could be a factor:
- lefthandedism
- simply stressed bisexual
- Posts: 1672
- Joined: Tue Nov 15, 2016 10:16 pm
- Pronouns: she/her
- Location: New England
Surely there is a distinction between personal and professional relationships. Even if people, e.g. YouTubers, don't feel close to Dan, surely there is value in being "seen with" someone who is still a big name. I would presume any shoutouts on Twitter were professional, peer to peer. Any real personal congratulations would not happen in public.
"If you're left-handed, ask a friend."
"Why am I left-handed?"
"Everybody makes mistakes."
On friends/youtube peeps/congratulations, with what Dan and others have mentioned about his not being super communicative/responsive and seeing that he literally hasn't been on youtube and has really only been active with the rare tweet or insta post in the past year, I'm wouldn't be real surprised if he's not on people's minds or radars much.
On discussion, I want to also voice my appreciation for everyone's posts and the variety of discussion. And echo what Dizzy said a page or two back that there is a common pattern that I have also noticed on IDB where the initial discussion is asdkjfk excitement and positivity, then it usually turns towards people's criticisms and expressions of more negative feelings, and then eventually comes to an overall positive plateau. I don't think this is a bad thing at all, and I think the critical discussions are very important too, it's just something that's helpful to keep in mind if, like me, you are a bit sensitive and general negativity can get you down quickly. It's totally okay to take a step back and some time away from the forum if the discussion isn't vibing with you at the time. One thing I do is remind myself that, even with criticisms and negative feelings, everyone here probably ended up here because they love and care about deppy and what they do.
On a completely unrelated note, someone I follow (Mitch Grassi if ur curious) posted a picture of a loaf of bread that looked like a muscly male torso with defined abs and pecs (complete with nips) and it IMMEDIATELY make me think of Phil lmao. I hope he's glad sexy man bread is what I associate him with.
On discussion, I want to also voice my appreciation for everyone's posts and the variety of discussion. And echo what Dizzy said a page or two back that there is a common pattern that I have also noticed on IDB where the initial discussion is asdkjfk excitement and positivity, then it usually turns towards people's criticisms and expressions of more negative feelings, and then eventually comes to an overall positive plateau. I don't think this is a bad thing at all, and I think the critical discussions are very important too, it's just something that's helpful to keep in mind if, like me, you are a bit sensitive and general negativity can get you down quickly. It's totally okay to take a step back and some time away from the forum if the discussion isn't vibing with you at the time. One thing I do is remind myself that, even with criticisms and negative feelings, everyone here probably ended up here because they love and care about deppy and what they do.
On a completely unrelated note, someone I follow (Mitch Grassi if ur curious) posted a picture of a loaf of bread that looked like a muscly male torso with defined abs and pecs (complete with nips) and it IMMEDIATELY make me think of Phil lmao. I hope he's glad sexy man bread is what I associate him with.
I think I was more surprised that certain people (e.g., PJ, Bryony, Wirrow, Anthony) didn’t even “like” his announcement post on Instagram. I only noticed because I follow them and they usually do interact with most of his posts. They also seem to be some of his real life friends (maybe not Anthony as much as the others). Maybe they said congrats in real life, but it just seems interesting.
- lefthandedism
- simply stressed bisexual
- Posts: 1672
- Joined: Tue Nov 15, 2016 10:16 pm
- Pronouns: she/her
- Location: New England
Phil's phone is now making videos?
"If you're left-handed, ask a friend."
"Why am I left-handed?"
"Everybody makes mistakes."
- alittledizzy
- actual demon phannie
- Posts: 7100
- Joined: Sat Mar 26, 2016 3:09 pm
- Pronouns: she/her
omg and we even get a dan response!!
I'm dying that's hands down the funniest thing I've seen all day.
Looking into it 'cause I was curious, it's from a feature of the apple photos app that curates 'memories' based on your photos and makes little video montages out of them with generic, based on the assumed mood, music. It uses metadata from the pictures and videos (time taken, geo coordinates, faces identified with AI, potentially even food or table scenes identified with AI for this theme, etc) to piece them together. Seeing as this is called 'Dinner in London over the years' and appears to go from mid-2017 through present in chronological order, I would assume it's all clips and pictures from their flats around a stereotypical dinner time (6 or 7PM?? deppy seem to eat a bit later). Edit: I would also hazard a guess that it's mostly video clips because the app probably looks for times when a lot of pictures/videos were taken together, and uses that as an indication of a likely 'going out/doing things' kind of event.
Note 1: I'm shocked to see so much stuff in the drawers of the filming flat kitchen? I assume the cabinets are bare of most dishes and food but maybe they just leave some of the baking utensils there.
Note 2: I promise (way to sound dodgy) I'm not a foot person but the way Dan's toes are stacked so perfectly lined up on top of each other in that picture caught my eye and I can't stop seeing it. Also the scratch, what did you do dan??
Looking into it 'cause I was curious, it's from a feature of the apple photos app that curates 'memories' based on your photos and makes little video montages out of them with generic, based on the assumed mood, music. It uses metadata from the pictures and videos (time taken, geo coordinates, faces identified with AI, potentially even food or table scenes identified with AI for this theme, etc) to piece them together. Seeing as this is called 'Dinner in London over the years' and appears to go from mid-2017 through present in chronological order, I would assume it's all clips and pictures from their flats around a stereotypical dinner time (6 or 7PM?? deppy seem to eat a bit later). Edit: I would also hazard a guess that it's mostly video clips because the app probably looks for times when a lot of pictures/videos were taken together, and uses that as an indication of a likely 'going out/doing things' kind of event.
Note 1: I'm shocked to see so much stuff in the drawers of the filming flat kitchen? I assume the cabinets are bare of most dishes and food but maybe they just leave some of the baking utensils there.
Note 2: I promise (way to sound dodgy) I'm not a foot person but the way Dan's toes are stacked so perfectly lined up on top of each other in that picture caught my eye and I can't stop seeing it. Also the scratch, what did you do dan??
- Susanisnotafish
- flower crown
- Posts: 700
- Joined: Thu Apr 06, 2017 8:39 am
- Pronouns: She/her
- Location: Illinois, USA
I’m so glad they shared this photo with us! I wonder what prompted Phil to take it? Wish we could see all of their creep shots of each other.
Now that inanerat pointed out Dan’s toe stack I am reminded of the pile of pigs from one of Phil’s old videos. Anyone remember what I’m talking about?
"Rub those freckles all over me!" --Daniel Howell
TBH I just took this as his twitter humor etc. I mean, lots of ppl routinely interact with some of his content (the photo of Dan that I *still* cannot look at). So it could be that they congratulated him privately; someone once wrote a very pointed post (not deppy but another celebrity, maybe from Glee) responding to fans who were upset they didn't wish a public happy birthday to someone, to the effect of I'm not interested in publicly performing friendship, we can say these things privately. I mean that's not what they said but like, the sentiment. It's been like, 7 chronological years since this happened. Add 2020, in which time has no meaning and it's either April 877 or a nameless hellscape future without meaningful markers for passage of time.autumnhearth wrote: ↑Wed Sep 16, 2020 11:03 pm Hard to know how this was taken by other YouTubers and who Dan even had in mind, but it could be a factor:
Moving past that. I can only assume Phil took that picture of Dan because his toes are so perfectly stacked. I find such great satisfaction--the part of me that likes things to be exactly right and aligned--in how they're arranged. Plus it's fucking cute as hell.
I read through and didn’t see anyone reply to this so, nah, that’s usually a phil job. Phil is generally good with liking Youtube people’s new projects. I always assume they all took the likes and congrats as coming from both dan and phil.