Warning: this answer is less me talking about the open relationship topic and more just me being an emotional proud of Dan mess.liola wrote: ↑Mon Jan 04, 2021 3:57 pm None of us know them personally so we're all just sharing opinions. I personally don't think they're anything but a couple in a monogamy committed relationship and that is also because of Phil's comments about love and dating and his wishes in the past. I also think the background of his family and his parents being obviously very affectionate and monogamous feeds into it. I don't think he would be with someone who wants an open relationship to be fair. Dan has also said things that hinted heavily on him believing in monogamy so I don't take his comments as anything but.. thirst. And also, part of his online persona, just like the overly relatable jokes when talking about anything serious.
My approach to this is that the easiest solution is the most probable solution
For me I see it like Dan's late teen and early 20s years, which is when most people kinda... feel themselves most and are most actively exploring that kind of attraction and who is attracted to them, were steeped in shame and trauma. It took him until he was 28 to be ready with wanting and seeking that kind of ego confirming attention from gay men, as a gay man. I think Phil is probably very understanding of that considering Phil did get to have that kind of experience at university, which he's shared with us. He got to live in a place that felt safe, with people he felt safe with, comfortable enough to do things like give his number to a random guy he shared a cab with. Dan had Phil and got a different kind of security in himself with that relationship but I think it's totally valid for him to want to get the other side of that experience now. Phil is so dedicated to Dan, so proud of Dan, so painfully aware of exactly where Dan started and exactly where Dan is now that I get emotional thinking of things like Phil spending two hours trying to line up a wine glass with Dan's nipple just so Dan can post a thirst trap online and get some of that attention?? Like damn man that is Love lmao. And Dan just radiating appreciation for Phil and in a video where he's laying his entire heart, history, trauma, and progress on the line featuring Phil in such a central way - a clear turning point in Dan being vulnerable and alone to the point of suicidal - 'and then, though the magic of the internet, I met Phil.' I'm not trying to push the 'Phil saved Dan' agenda but finding someone he felt safe with did seem to be the lifeline that Dan clung to until he was in a place where he could save himself with therapy, meds, mindfulness, whatever methods he cobbled together. And now they're secure both emotionally and financially and building this permanence and stability together along with their home... like, god damn.
Anyway this has devolved to just me being in love with their love.