Dan & Phil Part 98: forever home!!1!!!

[alien]

i love getting insights behind videos like the making of the pastel meringue video being filmed before needing to go to the airport to fly to australia.

also good for him for firmly setting boundaries about his personal life though it is funny in a way - no labels/answers to who im dating but here's talk about me and dan building a home together :B)

im always interested in people's spiritual beliefs so phil talking about being agnostic was nice. i also really liked his answer about smg and learning to understand the difference between seeing someone as an icon vs. having an actual crush on them. gays everywhere relate!

overall i liked the video and i appreciate any new little nuggets about him that he's willing to give lol

[Amiaw]

I think he did a good job answering those questions. Telling us he’s not giving us that information is an answer and it’s definitely one I respect.

[alittledizzy]

Phil "right I'm gonna answer this but it might not be satisfying"
And then he didn't.

Loved the tiny bit of info sprinkled there but.. Phil. Come on man.

Imo he only included it because it was probably the actual most asked question and he knew if he didn't address it people would be salty. I'm not sure why anyone would need the answer it to at this point though, they're transparent about everything in their life together... they just don't want to make it a focus of their content.

I was thrilled with what he did answer, though.

[gnostic]

Gay bucketttt lmao god Phil is such an icon

[blahblahblah8]

I really enjoyed the video! When I saw him asking for questions he usually avoids I kinda felt like he was probably still gonna choose typical questions but I was pleasantly surprised, I feel like he definitely went out of his usual comfort zone for QandAs! I just wish it was longer!

[kavat]

A glass of wine huh, adult Phil truly is here

I was surprised he even brought up the dating question, but I suppose he got a lot in the same spirit. I liked his answer, it's basically what Dan has said before but it's nice to hear it from Phil in his own words.

I loved him talking about the ad revenue, anything businessy is very interesting and I enjoy any insight we can have.

It was a great video!

[rizzo]

Just wanna post the full quote here:

I don't wanna open the door to my private life to millions of people. Because I think that door is quite a hard one to close. And everyone would have an opinion. And everyone would somehow feel involved in my personal life. And I like to keep that kind of thing offline and I don't think that's going to change either.

And to be fair, he's right. We do the bolded bit quite a lot already.

also good for him for firmly setting boundaries about his personal life though it is funny in a way - no labels/answers to who im dating but here's talk about me and dan building a home together :B)

This. This was hilarious to me. He's all "I like to keep that kinda thing offline" and then proceeds to:

• Tell us about Youtubers he and Dan were grouped together with.
• Shows pictures of him and Dan with said youtubers.
• Tell us about how he and Dan were stressed while making a video before their flight.
• Give us details about the feature wall in the house he and Dan bought together.
• Oh, and has he mentioned his last video featuring him and Dan?

Just.... The man does not need to answer that question. He already has. So many times in so many ways.

[hello9217]

Lol I felt like he did answer it by saying it he doesn’t want to open up and have people privy to his private life and that’s why the answer is unsatisfying because it will be something he never fully will talk about. I thought it was a great answer especially since literally 2 minutes later he mentioned him and dan moving into a house so it’s like a we know enough but we will never know the whole story.

Loved the video. Can’t believe he answered some of those tbh but I’m happy he did. What a great way to start the year, just being open about everything. Very lovely to see
Eta: that the only thing I wanted more of is house design questions but maybe he will make another

[Phantasy]

Phil "right I'm gonna answer this but it might not be satisfying"
And then he didn't.

Loved the tiny bit of info sprinkled there but.. Phil. Come on man.

Imo he only included it because it was probably the actual most asked question and he knew if he didn't address it people would be salty. I'm not sure why anyone would need the answer it to at this point though, they're transparent about everything in their life together... they just don't want to make it a focus of their content.

I was thrilled with what he did answer, though.

I guess at least it was thematically consistent with Dan’s answer on the same subject from BIG, but still I argue that by being coy that actually invites more speculation, questions and opinions, especially from casual viewers, so I’m not sure if I understand the reason for the answer at this point. I think a much better approach would be to provide a surface level acknowledgement, something to the effect of “well, in case you missed our last video, Dan and I bought a house together” and leave it at that.

I get annoyed at myself for harboring a small but lingering thought in the irrational section of my brain that asks.... wait, can 2 people acknowledge each other as soulmates, buy a house together and yet be platonic and leave the door open to dating others?

[yellowsubmarine]

My absolute favorite was the ad revenue question... what can I say I love when Phil is open about his finances! I'm boring like that

[shan]

Loved the video and loved seeing a more serious, adult Phil.

I had asked for any stories about his first date with a guy (sooo many awkward HS dating stories, I just wanted one with gay uni Phil) and while it wasn't answered, it was actually really nice to hear that not all of his uni experiences were the fails he makes them out to be in other videos.

[inanerat]

Yay new viddy

You know what time it is,,, it's timestamp time!!
I have a lot of thoughts I'm just gonna mix them in with the timestamps.

0:01- I love that the fireworks effect is still a sort of running joke
0:20- Side note the lava lamp is goiNG for it this video
0:28- Honestly I really appreciate Phil knowing he's not the most open person on YT and being okay with that, and I also really love him continuing to open up more in the small ways that he wants to and feels comfortable doing.
0:35- Surprised me a little bit that he mentioned having a glass of wine before filming. Would that make this the first confirmed Phil after having a drink on AP? Also I wonder why, like if he just had some with dinner or whether he was somewhat more nervous than he wanted to let on.
0:50- Most popular question: 'are you gay?'
Phil, the sweet summer child, answers this directly, which is fair if it was a genuine question from some people but I'm pretty sure it was a joke question, I considered asking it sarcastically as well.
1:07- 'are video conventions massive orgies for top content creators?'
If they are, they never invited Phil smh
1:15- 'which video earned you the most ad money in 2020?'
It was:
1. Trying to bake my birthday cake w/o a recipie
2. VPMO2
3. First AC video
4. Awkward closet stories 2
5. Coming out- 1 year later
It is always interesting how, while he does answer, his initial 'jeez, right in there with the finances' comment is an indicator to me (of what we already know) that Phil just isn't a financial transparency/ talk abt money guy.
1:54- Interesting talk about how defined themes help get more specific ads, which makes ad revenue better.
2:09- 'tell us about your CURRENT dating life?'
As expected, Phil nicely explains how he wants to keep that stuff private and offline, that's unlikely to change.
I knew this would be the answer, and I'm glad that it is, but there is a part of me that is just straight up curious if dnp still do (assuming they did at least for a while) consider themselves to be 'dating'? Like at this point it feels to me like they are so much more than dating. Essentially married in all of the traditional aspects of marriage except the legal parts.
2:43- 'who was your childhood celebrity gay awakening crush?'
Leonardo DiCaprio in Titanic.
3:05- 'are your videos scripted?'
No. Sometimes Phil writes notes/bullet points for himself sometimes. He finds presenting with a script hard and prefers gigs that allow him to be a little more freeform.
I fucking love the sass of pretending the beginning of his answer is awkward and scripted.
3:37- 'least favourite pic of yourself'
Any red carpet picture, which sounds snooty but everything about the red carpet photo experience is stressful and Phil feels out of place.
4:15- 'do you and the og youtubers still talk on a regular basis?'
Phil still chats with his first subscriber, John. And charlieissocoollike, would hang out if they happened to be in the same place. Generally thinks of other larger british youtubers as acquaintances/colleagues, but definitely more connected to them than to a random stranger.
4:57- 'have you ever been in a fight?'
Phil has never punched someone in the face, but one time some lads looking for a fight punched him, made him quite anxious about being out after dark, going places.
This makes me extra sad knowing that while it was more of a random than homophobic attack, I'm sure Phil having the anxiety surrounding it made him anxious about being victim to homophobic violence too :/
5:50- 'did you actually have a crush on Sarah Michelle Gellar or was is a gay cover up?'
Partly gay cover-up. Needed something to say to magazines and stuff, but did find her iconic and did also kind of confuse the two
6:21- 'do you have a secret twitter?'
No, but he does have secret insta for testing post drafts and following trashy reality tv stars
6:50- 'when did you loose your v-card?'
Lil talk about how virginity seems like a big deal until you finish school and then no one cares or talks about it again. The answer for Phil is at University. Don't feel pressured about it and shoutout to the asexuals
Also 'you... do you... until you're ready' is an amazing quote.
7:25- 'has anyone famous ever slid into your DMs?'
For casual friendly conversation, yeah, for no.
'Maybe they're all going into my spam folder and I've got thirsty celebrities on tap' well I mean you have one thirsty famous person but he already lives with you so
7:45- 'are you and athiest?'
Phil is an 'I don't know-est' Agnostic? It's a lot to think about, just vibing.
8:13- 'what shade of green is the feature wall in the new house?'
In case you missed it, there was a video with Dan, they are moving. It is a soft dark green forest-y kind of colour (my description)
8:31- 'are you obsessed with view counts?'
Knows some people are super attached, Phil checks analytics about once a week, as a marker to judge how well a video is doing and if people are liking it.
'Watch this one twice' well here I am, watching it twice lol
9:07- 'what is the most non-amazingphil spon you've ever received?'
After coming out, got a lot of spon requests after being in the 'gay bucket'. Got insta spon offer for modeling jockstraps, did not go for it.
This is really entertaining to me, I wonder if that's why he googled 'why does a jockstrap have a bare butt' a while back. I also wonder if places like Adam & Eve decided to hit him up, it seems like they do spons with lots of LGBTQ creators (despite the ultimate heteronormative name), but then again I suppose more of those people talk about sexuality type things more.
9:50- 'how many times can you repeat fuzzy duck ducky fuzz?'
Phil knows this is to get him to swear, he won't bleep it if it happens.
Phil saying 'fucky dust' is the funniest thing that has happened to me in days
10:12- 'least favourite collab video?'
Not throwing anyone under the bus but Dan. Easter baking meringues was filmed the same day they were getting a flight to Australia, the baking was a flop, camera troubles, time was tight, it was bad. Funny vid in hindsight though.
11:03- 'what is your poop shaped like?'
Maybe this is time to stop answering questions. The answer is perfect cubes.
11:22- There are more questions ofc, like if you want more aka Philly will be watching those analytics
11:25- Yet another Video With Dan mention, it was linked in the info, is linked in description and is on the endscreen. Phil wants you to watch this video (agian) even though it already has 2mil+ views.

[alien]

Loved the video and loved seeing a more serious, adult Phil.

I had asked for any stories about his first date with a guy (sooo many awkward HS dating stories, I just wanted one with gay uni Phil) and while it wasn't answered, it was actually really nice to hear that not all of his uni experiences were the fails he makes them out to be in other videos.

yes! while i love the fails it was nice to hear that uni had some successes too lol

[alittledizzy]

Loved the video and loved seeing a more serious, adult Phil.

I had asked for any stories about his first date with a guy (sooo many awkward HS dating stories, I just wanted one with gay uni Phil) and while it wasn't answered, it was actually really nice to hear that not all of his uni experiences were the fails he makes them out to be in other videos.

yes! while i love the fails it was nice to hear that uni had some successes too lol

the sounds of 'phimmy is real' odds increasing incrementally

[Tornbetweenfandoms]

Phil "right I'm gonna answer this but it might not be satisfying"
And then he didn't.

Loved the tiny bit of info sprinkled there but.. Phil. Come on man.

Imo he only included it because it was probably the actual most asked question and he knew if he didn't address it people would be salty. I'm not sure why anyone would need the answer it to at this point though, they're transparent about everything in their life together... they just don't want to make it a focus of their content.

I was thrilled with what he did answer, though.

I guess at least it was thematically consistent with Dan’s answer on the same subject from BIG, but still I argue that by being coy that actually invites more speculation, questions and opinions, especially from casual viewers, so I’m not sure if I understand the reason for the answer at this point. I think a much better approach would be to provide a surface level acknowledgement, something to the effect of “well, in case you missed our last video, Dan and I bought a house together” and leave it at that.

I get annoyed at myself for harboring a small but lingering thought in the irrational section of my brain that asks.... wait, can 2 people acknowledge each other as soulmates, buy a house together and yet be platonic and leave the door open to dating others?

I don't know if this originated in my brain or something one of them said in a liveshow back in the day, but I feel like they've said before they don't talk about their personal lives online cos people project their own expectations of what a relationship looks like onto a public one and also if relationships end it's awkward to have to make announcements - especially if long term and painful already without people asking about it.

[liola]

Phil "right I'm gonna answer this but it might not be satisfying"
And then he didn't.

Loved the tiny bit of info sprinkled there but.. Phil. Come on man.

Imo he only included it because it was probably the actual most asked question and he knew if he didn't address it people would be salty. I'm not sure why anyone would need the answer it to at this point though, they're transparent about everything in their life together... they just don't want to make it a focus of their content.

I was thrilled with what he did answer, though.

Let's be clear I did not need an answer from him not was I expecting him to actually answer, it just made me roll my eyes because he's the one picking the questions and like he ignored a lot of others, he could just say "not gonna answer this" it's the way he said "I'm gonna answer" that made me a bit.. mash

Also the clickbait on the thumbnail, ya know

[Matgo]

I guess at least it was thematically consistent with Dan’s answer on the same subject from BIG, but still I argue that by being coy that actually invites more speculation, questions and opinions, especially from casual viewers, so I’m not sure if I understand the reason for the answer at this point. I think a much better approach would be to provide a surface level acknowledgement, something to the effect of “well, in case you missed our last video, Dan and I bought a house together” and leave it at that.

Even the slightest sliver of information prompts over the top speculation and requests for more detail. A simple case in point: in "Something we want to tell you" Phil made a throwaway remark about there being a green wall in the new house, and in this video he's being asked what shade of green it is. Yes, that's a trivial issue but it does highlight how people jump on even the smallest bit of detail.

It's not being coy. A consistent and firm "This Part Of Our Life Is Private" message is the only way to deal with it.

[soveinco]

I quite liked hearing the "not going to talk about this on YouTube" answer from Phil, for two reasons: (1) Unless I'm forgetting something, he didn't touch on it in his own coming-out video the way that Dan did (although Dan included him in BIG as a "ditto Phil," I like hearing it directly from Phil himself better), (2) the very fact it is SO similar to what Dan said makes me feel very satisfied at the idea of them having a Plan that they talked over and agreed upon. (Shades of "that's the plan" from formspring days, but grown-up edition.) This is their Shared Statement. Joint [refusal to provide this specific flavor of] content. Shadow joint content, if you will.

And bonus for his little "deal with it" lip smack after "I don't think that's gonna change, either." Sassy, love him.

As much as my heart would squee with delight from a public romantic acknowledgment between them, I think the sense of invasion I would feel on their behalf at the inevitable trending on Twitter, the entertainment articles, the general Fuss that would follow would almost outweigh the sense of delight I would feel as an individual. I don't want to hear a million random people's comments about their relationship, or have to think about them having to see those people's reactions. And before the house announcement, I might have said, "eh, would it even be that big of a deal? In 2021?" But even just that announcement did trend, etc., right away, mostly people being like "I don't even watch Dan and Phil anymore, but this is still exciting to me!" And a blatant relationship acknowledgment would be a much bigger deal.

[parallel]

That's so wild that Phil directly addressed all that.

It still feels so surreal every time Phil says he's gay. I'm still not used to it. Like, I know you're gay, but hearing you say it man...

[Matgo]

Is it common knowledge that danandphilshop is closing soon?

[shan]

As much as my heart would squee with delight from a public romantic acknowledgment between them, I think the sense of invasion I would feel on their behalf at the inevitable trending on Twitter, the entertainment articles, the general Fuss that would follow would almost outweigh the sense of delight I would feel as an individual. I don't want to hear a million random people's comments about their relationship, or have to think about them having to see those people's reactions. And before the house announcement, I might have said, "eh, would it even be that big of a deal? In 2021?" But even just that announcement did trend, etc., right away, mostly people being like "I don't even watch Dan and Phil anymore, but this is still exciting to me!" And a blatant relationship acknowledgment would be a much bigger deal.

Very much this. The interest from media and general commentary on social media would be a lot and you bet there would be sooo many opinions on their relationship and how they've handled it. Who would want to open their 10+ year relationship up to that?

His thumbnail may have been a tiny bit clickbait-y (but not really, because he did answer it) and while it wasn't the answer people wanted, it was 100% the one they needed to hear. He would have got hundreds of questions in that vein and in an 'answering questions I'd usually avoid' video it needed to be addressed.

I've been thinking about it too and I think, as probably the more interested 'phans', we want to know everything about them that they'll share with us. While we can respect their privacy and their decision to share/withhold details of their lives, we also still know more about them than they themselves would probably want us to know. As much as it would be almost BIG-day levels of excitement if they were to confirm they're together, it would be another 'case closed' kind of thing like with moving hill. After that, we move on to the next big unknown/unconfirmed detail of their lives like a puzzle to solve. Details of their early relationship, the difficulty of maintaining a relationship and friendships over so many years in a committed relationship while in the closet etc. Things we know details of from social media posts back in the day but might feel more entitled to answers about once deppy is confirmed. Entitled might be the wrong word, free to ask about?

Idk, maybe I'm projecting. This forum feels like a safe place to talk about these kind of things since it's out of the way of DnP potentially stumbling across it like twitter etc. and nothing personal like addresses is passed around so I don't see anything wrong with wanting to know or share theories about these things, I really enjoy that part of IDB. That said, I don't think he's wrong to say that it'd feel like he's opening their relationship up to further questions and opinions from us either.

Anyway that's just my ramblings, been thinking about this a bit recently.

[sonicgreen]

Just popping in - (hello all, i hope you’re doing well ) -
I think the thing that becomes most clear about how dnp are keeping their private life private is what words they are choosing to use. They refuse to give the world a headline-grabbing quote. Its clear to us that the information they share sends the broad message “we’re partners in life and that doesn’t plan on changing” without some snappy sound byte that garners unnecessary attention.
I think its really clever and I respect that a lot. I wish nothing but the best for them. And go Phil for firmly setting a boundary!

[alittledizzy]

I'm gonna do a more in depth post tomorrow but I'm watching the video for a second time now (as instructed by our king) and he had his arms crossed defensively so much during this video and idk why but it is the cutest thing ever. What a brave lil' toaster answering so many questions he felt nervous about.

[TuxedoSam]

Except for all the massive hype it will get if they confirmed anything about their relationship in News articles, social media trends, etc, which would die down after one or two week, maybe one month, what is really left to be bad about them confirming it ?

Lots of people would move on because many are only here for the "mystery" of their relationship. The only problematic left would be those who stay that are hadcore stans who wants to know every details of their private lives (those who would create new theories to speculate about after they confirm their relationship, like a wedding) so what's so bad about confirming it ? No privacy would be reached more than it already is or have, they can close the door of that all they want they have full control like they always have right now. Poeple knowing won't change that. So massive hype for at least a week + hardcore stans (minority). I might sound like an asshole or missing something but i really don't see anything bad that could happen about their privacy if they confirmed it.
"people would have opinions on the relationship and judge it" Everyone is already doing that to the max ???? and what is there to judge ?

I feel like people will probably respect their privacy way more if they knew about their relationship because then it literally becomes real and stop being this "fantasy and fictional' thing people have in their heads and that's scary for many people i'm sure of it. and also everyone would be saying "protect dan and phil privacy's" WAYYY more everywhere after they announce it. A lot of people already have strong opinions on that

I'm very open to get proven wrong but i have been thinking a lot about this and this what i came up with

[Megancita75]

I loved the video and Phil's whole vibe in it -- he's so funny. I think my favorite stories were the more serious ones, about getting punched and the emotional fallout from that, about his views on religion, and about virginity and our culture's fixation on it. I'd love to see a second Q&A video. He's just really good company.

As to the other discussion about his boundary-setting around privacy, I totally love his statement. I do understand that it might be hard to conceptualize why it's so important to them and what the downsides would be now of explicitly defining/confirming the nature of their commitment, but I think that's honestly because none of us are in their very specific shoes. I have no idea what it's like to be on the other side of fame, and so I don't know the reality of how scrutiny and requests for information affect a relationship. So while it might be hard in some ways to understand this request for privacy and this hard boundary around this specific issue, I am certain there are very, very good reasons for it based on very real experiences that are very specific to being in the public eye, which is something most people can't relate to. And while some of those reasons are probably practical -- like security -- I imagine mostly it is about emotional health and psychological safety, which is harder to explain.

Contrapoints posted a video today, and one throwaway line she had in the very beginning was about how fame is dehumanizing. That line made me think of DnP, and how the antidote to dehumanization -- to feeling like your life is solely a source of entertainment or a product available for endless critique -- is, as Phil said, not opening the door to certain aspects of your life to prevent the dehumanization from happening in the first place.

Their choices might not make sense to us all the time, but in the end I just come back to the idea that these choices clearly are meaningful to them and maybe that's the only thing we really need to understand.