It just isn't realistic to me. Please don't murder me, but I am phanostic (or is it phagnostic? sounds a little crude
..) Whilst I do love to speculate and read all of your beautiful theories, I can't convince myself that they are together or ever were a couple. I will attempt to list my reasonings:
- The most convincing thing to me is that their entire brand is based upon their
friendship. Their channel, radio show, book, tour etc. is marketed as two best buddies. I can't imagine that they are illusive enough to structure their entire career around a completely fabricated relationship (yes ofc when people are together they often also consider themselves as best friends), but it rubs me the wrong way to think that everyone in their personal life knows them as a couple, yet they project a completely different idea to the rest of the world. Yes, there is the issue of privacy and keeping personal relationships private, however this would mean that they would have to drastically alter their interactions and behaviour in any public setting (even among friends at risk of being spotted). That just doesn't sound realistic at all (to me at least)
- I made this point in the main threads to which no one responded, but people (especially idealistic young teenagers who see being 20+ as having your life completely sorted) seem to assume that just because they are 24, 29, successful/employed, rich, talented, funny, good looking etc. doesn't mean that they aren't still nerdy and awkward guys who spend time playing guild wards (i'm looking at Mr Dan 1800hours Howell), video & board games, general internet-ting etc. All I'm trying to say is that having a successful professional life does not mean that they automatically have success forming relationships with others. Leading on to my next point...
- Whatever their relationship may be, it's a great one no doubt. They found each other at the right time and obviously bonded very quickly and here we are 7 years later... but again, just because they are so bonded at the hip, it doesn't necessarily mean they are a couple. People become comfortable and complacent with friends (which imo is a good thing, quality over quantity ), and sometimes it's really hard to break out of your comfort zone and trust other people (especially considering the position they are in, it must be difficult to weed out real vs fake friends). To me it seems perfectly normal for 2 best friends to move in together, and once 2012/2013 hit things started getting serious in a professional sense... it only made sense that they stuck together. This point always gets me because I see people say that it's weird that they've been so close for this long.. but i don't see why? They like the same things, work together, attend events together.. it only makes sense at this point in time that they do and it would be weird if they didn't. Also, they are both introverted people - Dan is much more of an open book than Phil, so in that sense it's easier for a lot of us to relate and project onto him. As someone whose personality type seems scarily similar to Dan, it only makes sense to me that he has stuck with someone who he is completely comfortable around.
- Though as we have seen Dan become more comfortable with himself, I am starting to consider that he is truly bisexual (I hate labels) but I am still not 100% convinced.. I don't feel I have any right to comment on this, but I have never ever got the impression that Dan or Phil are genuinely interested in men. Yes there have been comments here and there, as well as the whole deal with Charlie and everything that happened in their early days, but things have certainly changed a lot since 2009/2010 on the internet, and it's hard to put their interactions in context with the internet we have today. This is why I take everything that was said during this time period with a massive
grain block of salt
- Just because somebody expresses their love/desire/attraction/appreciation for a member of the opposite sex, it doesn't mean they want to bang them or form an intimate relationship with them. Eg. I know that I am heterosexual (or closer to heterosexual on the spectrum/wheel/clusterfuck that sexuality seems to be. (I really hate labels)). However, I love females. I dream about girls. I find myself staring at girls more than I stare at men. I think the natural female figure is fucking beautiful, and whenever I watch tv/movies/anime/whatever, I find myself fascinated with females and have no objection to expressing some level of attraction for them. Does this make me bisexual? Who knows. But all I'm trying to say is that just because Dan strokes Haru or crushes on Evan Peters, doesn't mean shit.
- Subtle comments here and there. I had a master list on my old computer which I used to rebut phan shippers which has since disappeared. All that comes to mind:
- In conversation, many times D&P resort to using her, or she whenever they speak about relationships. I've just started to understand what a heteronormative society means and I understand that this could just be default, but eg. I remember Dan saying, 'you need a girlfriend', and Phil using her or she in reference to dating. There were a few but I can't remember exactly what was said. Unrelated but also Dan's response to 'dating is hard'..
yes it is.. i feel u
- In Tyler and Dan's porn video, in response to the crude ads on the website, Tyler said he doesn't watch straight porn, in which Dan responded 'I'll tell you when something irregular happens'.. this implies to be that Dan watches 'straight porn' and doesn't visit 'gay porn' websites.. however this doesn't mean much considering any straight, gay, or anything-in-between person can obviously watch whatever they like.. so not valid?
- General vibe. I know this can be rebutted very easily, but apart from expressing their general support for the LGBTQ community, it isn't something I feel either of them identify with or are invested in. Obviously this could be me completely misjudging them and is something that either of them just aren't comfortable talking about... but just a thing.
- I feel really uncomfortable even saying this because I am not trying to play into typical 'gender roles' or whatever.. but hear me out. They certainly aren't typically 'masculine' or what the average British guy is like.. an example that comes to mind is Louise's One Direction vlog where marcus, joe and alfie are sitting together playing FIFA, and Dan is sitting with Louise and Zoe eating pringles.. I remember reading the comments and seeing a massive shitstorm over one person assuming Dan was gay because he doesn't fit in with 'the guys'... but I don't see it this way at all. He is nerdy, awkward, gamer/artistic type. I'm not doing a great job describing him or the way I see this but just because someone doesn't fit in with the average
plebsjoe, there is no reason to automatically assume that he is into the opposite sex... I don't know I think that a lot of people see his bold fashion choices (spikey shoes
) and some of his other interests, fashion choices etc. as 100% confirmation that he is bisexual or gay.. and to me this doesn't make any sense. Does this make any sense??
- In response to the fact that Dan has stopped flat out denying that he is gay (and that ignoring early formspring answers he never explicitly identified himself as bisexual).. i do think that he stopped doing that for branding purposes. Yes, like I stated above, D&P are known and marketed as best buds... but obviously Phan and the shipping community are deeply ingrained in their brand.. not disclosing anything about their sexuality maintains the sense of mystery (essentially the reason we at IDB are so invested in their lives
)
- Voldy is not gospel. I see people say all the time that the shipping community wasn't massive at the time of the video, but people seem to forget that youtube in general also wasn't nearly the scale it is today. Eg. If they noticed a few recurring 'shippers' commenting on their videos together, that alone could've prompted them to troll their viewers. I vaguely remember 2009/2010 being a turning point for the shipping/fandom/tumblr community reaching more of a mainstream audience at the time, so it makes perfect sense that they planned something along those lines. But it's a cute video which I
obviously don't have saved on my computer
I feel like I have forgotten many things, but at the end of the day this is all just wild speculation. I could be completely wrong. I think we all need to remember that it is very easy to become trapped in one way of thinking to the point where we become delusional... so I think we all need to be as open minded as possible and understand that they are two very smart individuals who know how to market themselves and calculate each and every public move. As of right now, there is nothing that compels me to believe that Dan and Phil are a couple or ever have been.
The end