Dan & Phil Part 99: OnlyPhans

[alittledizzy]

(Popping the tweet in again since it's a new page.)

If this were 2017 I'd be solidly convinced we were about to get a Best Fiends spon video.

[fruitcriminals]

Can anyone make out what Dan says at around 32:58 of their latest Stereo show? Something about lentils? ‘Nice and tender....(mumbles)’ it is driving me crazy

Nice and tender, as Bimini wants. Reference is Bimini Bon Boulash's verse of UK Hun song from drag race uk. But also side note the bit just before that, I felt like I was a third wheel in a phone sex chat for a few seconds lol.

[ukhon]

Can anyone make out what Dan says at around 32:58 of their latest Stereo show? Something about lentils? ‘Nice and tender....(mumbles)’ it is driving me crazy

Nice and tender, as Bimini wants. Reference is Bimini Bon Boulash's verse of UK Hun song from drag race uk. But also side note the bit just before that, I felt like I was a third wheel in a phone sex chat for a few seconds lol.

Very true, it was one of the more erotically charged moments of the stereo, which is saying something considering nearly everything that comes out of Dan’s mouth these days is an allusion to sex

[fruitcriminals]

What I don't understand in any of this, is why his counsellor or therapist hasn't told him that grief manifests in different ways and the norman dreams are completely normal, or why he vocalises it all as I have this or I have that. It's never, I need to work on my x or anything.

Just seems weird for someone who has already finished writing a mental health book. Read this book, follow my tips and you too will still be too freaked out to get married or buy a dog? It's an odd tactic.

This isn't directed at you, I swear, just my thoughts on the topic in general. It's a valid stance to talk about his current mental state or whatever, especially somewhere with a strong 4th wall, but I didn't realize how sensitive I am to how critical the general tone is re: all this.

It's like, recovery takes years, getting better isn't always an upward progression, and an unfiltered comment in a liveshow isn't representative of what hurdles he's actually working on with his therapist, someone he's made clear he still sees and works with. Even the fact he's making those jokes might mean they're on his mind because they're something he's currently working on, we can't know. Maybe he hasn't processed the norman dreams yet. Considering what he's implied re: his trauma, considering how there's certainly things he hasn't shared, it absolutely is progress, knowing he's still uncomfortable with certain levels of commitment. Maybe he and his therapist have talked about how it will still take years to fix. Maybe parts of it are things he needs to adapt his life around rather than fix. Maybe a lot of things.

This isn't pre-scripted, we all seem to want him to talk about himself, as himself, instead of the persona we spent years wishing he'd drop. If we want him unfiltered we can't expect him to have reached nirvana.

Him being too scared to get a dog b/c he isn't ready, doesn't want to be responsible for something like a living being is 100% a valid stance and doesn't mean he hasn't progressed. For a long time I wanted a dog but was scared I'd fall into another depressive or manic episode and neglect it, and expressing that fear, realizing why I feared that commitment rather than being scared without considering the why, that was genuine progress for me. Years later now I have a dog, something I never thought I'd be ready for.

His book sounds like something encouraging readers to take those first steps, whether to see a therapist or little changes ppl can make to improve mental health even if the reader's as neuro-typical as possible. I'd bet my arm it's all stuff like "have a regular sleep schedule" and "do positive affirmations" and things we've all heard and been told. I mean, that's why he's has a professional collaborating on the book. What's special is that it's coming from someone so public about his journey, it's more motivating because it's coming from someone who was told to do those things but took a long time to internalize, who took a long time to ask for help, who thought the stuff he was going through was a forever thing. For a lot of people it would mean more coming from someone so publicly open about his flaws rather than a faceless mental health how-to book or whatever, that's why I'm so happy this book's coming out even though it'll be no use to me.

What his book doesn't sound like is a guide on how to perfect your mental health, and he never pretends that's something he can give us. It's how to start, how to improve. Now how to be perfect.

idk what I'm saying but I don't want to proofread lol.

Even if it was, that's totally fair, I was posing it as a question/confusion. I take anyone's views on board and wouldn't expect everyone or anyone to agree with me.

I had meant to type marketing tactic, which might have explained the angle I was talking about better. Just in that, he is paid to sell that book. The marketing blurb from the book is "understand your mind so you can be in control and really live." And the angle from the only content he has put out recently being here's some things I'd like to do in my life that I feel like I can't because of this issue. I just work in business and from that angle, i was like um...is this something to state in the run up to something being on sale when you can literally just not mention things on stereo nobody is scripting this content.

Super glad you managed to get a dog! What did you get?

[inanerat]

Can anyone make out what Dan says at around 32:58 of their latest Stereo show? Something about lentils? ‘Nice and tender....(mumbles)’ it is driving me crazy

Nice and tender, as Bimini wants. Reference is Bimini Bon Boulash's verse of UK Hun song from drag race uk. But also side note the bit just before that, I felt like I was a third wheel in a phone sex chat for a few seconds lol.

Very true, it was one of the more erotically charged moments of the stereo, which is saying something considering nearly everything that comes out of Dan’s mouth these days is an allusion to sex

Dan's 'oh god, yeah?' at 32:54 after Phil's suggestion of a salty poppadom sounds like it could be a porno soundbite tbh. He's imagining it and enjoying it.

That followed by the 'you don't want that tender lentil dribbling down your thighs?' discussion at 43:27 I'm gonna need Dan to stop being horny about food

[soveinco]

I had meant to type marketing tactic, which might have explained the angle I was talking about better. Just in that, he is paid to sell that book. The marketing blurb from the book is "understand your mind so you can be in control and really live." And the angle from the only content he has put out recently being here's some things I'd like to do in my life that I feel like I can't because of this issue. I just work in business and from that angle, i was like um...is this something to state in the run up to something being on sale when you can literally just not mention things on stereo nobody is scripting this content.

From other things he's said about wanting to be honest about himself and his struggles (with mental health, with coming out, etc.), it seems like he'd probably see it as dishonest to avoid talking about a mental health thing he's still dealing with, if he feels like talking about it (which, like you said, no one scripted it; he shared it of his own volition, so apparently he wanted to talk about it), and I can't imagine him being too eager to do that in service of book sales, now that he finally has a whole host of other things he no longer has to try to hide. Also, "understand your mind so you can be in control and really live" may be his goal and the goal of the book, but I doubt he's going to try to say that he's necessarily "achieved" it, since it's more of a journey. (Book taglines being more a place for snappy hyperbole than setting nuanced expectations.)

Though it'll be interesting to see how he talks about this kind of stuff in the interviews we'll presumably see in the next few months that ARE more explicitly about selling the book, and where he's speaking to a general audience rather than a pretty small (all things considered) audience of long-time fans who would see right through it if he tried to act like he has everything all figured out, even if he wanted to.

. . . That first "husbands" mention WAS in a general-public interview, so maybe it's just "no filters, no gods, no masters" across the board for him now!

Semi-related, I was just watching a 2017 livestream (https://youtu.be/i69K1EOO4DQ?t=2505) and he said this thing about fear and being honest (and even what people might see as overly honest) about his own struggles that reminded me of this convo (though obviously his feelings might have changed or been refined since 2017, and he's speaking off the cuff here, so I'm not saying that "don't take it that seriously" will be part of the book, at least I hope not!).

“Thank you for being so relatable.” Zoe, I’m just honest with, you know, my life and my life experiences. A lot of people, they don’t like talking about negative things, they don’t like people making negative jokes, especially about themselves, it makes people feel uncomfortable. They’re like, “Oh, you shouldn’t joke about these things, it’s not funny.” But you know, I think that the main problem in people’s life is pride. And not talking about things because they’re scared. Everything comes out of a place of fear. Society makes us feel all this fear and guilt for different things. And instead of the bad things being something that you just harbor resentment, which turns into fear, which leads you to the dark side, if you just wear it on your sleeve and joke about it, if you talk about it, then other people relate to it. You know, if I talk about the bad things in my life, it might be a weird concept to joke about them, but that will make someone else just go, ‘hey, I’m going through that too,’ and maybe not take it that seriously.

Strangely, during this same livestream, someone asks if he's writing a secret book and he says no; someone else says they hope he does eventually and he says "Maybe. Maybe if anybody cares. Who knows." HarperCollins DOES care, Dan!

[dontpanic]

Super glad you managed to get a dog! What did you get?

cocker spaniel poodle mix I adopted him from a shelter and he's so sweet and incredibly energetic, an hour walk can't even tire him out lol

Strangely, during this same livestream, someone asks if he's writing a secret book and he says no; someone else says they hope he does eventually and he says "Maybe. Maybe if anybody cares. Who knows." HarperCollins DOES care, Dan!

The HarperCollins executive board are all total phannies confirmed.

[fruitcriminals]

Can anyone make out what Dan says at around 32:58 of their latest Stereo show? Something about lentils? ‘Nice and tender....(mumbles)’ it is driving me crazy

Nice and tender, as Bimini wants. Reference is Bimini Bon Boulash's verse of UK Hun song from drag race uk. But also side note the bit just before that, I felt like I was a third wheel in a phone sex chat for a few seconds lol.

Very true, it was one of the more erotically charged moments of the stereo, which is saying something considering nearly everything that comes out of Dan’s mouth these days is an allusion to sex

Dan's 'oh god, yeah?' at 32:54 after Phil's suggestion of a salty poppadom sounds like it could be a porno soundbite tbh. He's imagining it and enjoying it.

That followed by the 'you don't want that tender lentil dribbling down your thighs?' discussion at 43:27 I'm gonna need Dan to stop being horny about food

I am wondering if, much like people on reality tv forget about the cameras after a while, if sometimes he forgets that he's actually not just on the phone? I don't mind the horniness tbh, lockdown is having similar vibes at casa de FC, although not sure I'll be able to look at a poppadom in the same way for a few weeks

Super glad you managed to get a dog! What did you get?

cocker spaniel poodle mix I adopted him from a shelter and he's so sweet and incredibly energetic, an hour walk can't even tire him out lol

Strangely, during this same livestream, someone asks if he's writing a secret book and he says no; someone else says they hope he does eventually and he says "Maybe. Maybe if anybody cares. Who knows." HarperCollins DOES care, Dan!

The HarperCollins executive board are all total phannies confirmed.

Awww I am so happy for you, any poodle mix is my fave, so flooofy for snuggles!

[fruitcriminals]

I had meant to type marketing tactic, which might have explained the angle I was talking about better. Just in that, he is paid to sell that book. The marketing blurb from the book is "understand your mind so you can be in control and really live." And the angle from the only content he has put out recently being here's some things I'd like to do in my life that I feel like I can't because of this issue. I just work in business and from that angle, i was like um...is this something to state in the run up to something being on sale when you can literally just not mention things on stereo nobody is scripting this content.

Though it'll be interesting to see how he talks about this kind of stuff in the interviews we'll presumably see in the next few months that ARE more explicitly about selling the book, and where he's speaking to a general audience rather than a pretty small (all things considered) audience of long-time fans who would see right through it if he tried to act like he has everything all figured out, even if he wanted to.

Thanks for explaining, yes it will be interesting to see when it's more of a general audience what the 'official line' is. I think I sometimes forget just how big the general audience is, and took the stereo to be more of a general audience where you'd expect the 'official line' rather than a Dan's honest personal thoughts line. Which I totally appreciate are often different, such as with merch like I'm selling this merch to essentially pay my bills as this is a job, but also realise as someone who couldn't afford it myself as a kid that I feel quite guilty asking anyone to buy it as my content is free so just watch that.

I was considering the hardcore audience being so much bigger than other creators hardcore audience. For example w2s who's directly under them in that stereo competition list has more followers on yt than Dan, is part of the biggest UK YT group and has less than half the amount of people listening to his stereos as DNP. Which is fair since he is 1 person and they are 2 big creators (no shade to him). Dan being used to so many people following and so 8/12k seeming tiny in comparison - yes it probably does seem like a small amount of people to 'confide' in his more honest off the cuff thoughts vs the Harper Collins approved message, so I get what you mean now.

[alittledizzy]

As someone that knows nothing about how to play a piano, Dan's piano playing is impressive to me. Also impressive: Dan being willing to post stories where he's playing the piano even though we know he's always been cagey about that based on the reaction he gets.

[fruitcriminals]

As someone that knows nothing about how to play a piano, Dan's piano playing is impressive to me. Also impressive: Dan being willing to post stories where he's playing the piano even though we know he's always been cagey about that based on the reaction he gets.

I think it's very impressive too. Must be nice for Phil. I reckon the neighbours are keeping the curtains open so they can just enjoy watching the hot guy playing the piano.

[Levitating]

I really hope people keep being nice about his technique and piano skills. Like, there's no need to idolise an amateur, but it is also unnecessary to critique him when he's just vibing. Plus, I believe to actually show "flaws on IG" is a powerful disruption to the magazine-like display people feel the pressure to uphold on their IG post/social media in general.

I am happy to see someone promoting playing the piano and how enjoyable it can be!

[anna_begins]

I still find it so endearing that Dan was inspired to learn to play the piano after watching an Arthur episode. No matter how hard he tries to be perceived as somewhat edgy, to me he will always be the guy who saw a cartoon aardvark playing the piano and then saved up all his money for lessons so he could do that too.

[dontpanic]

.... Phil and Dan are basically the same person now.

That Sony headphone Award back in like, 2013 warned us, DnP are the same person.

I think quarantine's gotten to him, Phil realized he's been locked in with Dan for a year so now's the time to choose violence

also this is my monthly post to say how much I love this little community here on IDB, you're all so sweet and it's amazing to have these discussions colored by everyone's unique perspectives and life experiences and humor and expertise on incredibly niche topics. Okay, sincerity over, back to wondering if Phil's daddy mentions will be the new replacement to dan's infamous choking kink of 2018

edit:

As someone that knows nothing about how to play a piano, Dan's piano playing is impressive to me. Also impressive: Dan being willing to post stories where he's playing the piano even though we know he's always been cagey about that based on the reaction he gets.

as a moderately okay piano player I'll say Dan's piano skills are genuinely pretty well for someone with virtually no formal training, even though his technique isn't perfect you can tell he's been practicing. also I'm jealous b/c he has perfect piano playing hands while mine are so small I can barely stretch across an octave.

[Catallena]

Dan is having a bad mental health day and decided to take us along for the ride by posting... this?

Hope he feels better soon

[Levitating]

Wow!

Is it only me who's deeply impressed? Is this somethins he has ever done before?! He's feeling down and he's not joking about it!!

[alittledizzy]

I feel full of affection and love and respect for Dan right now.

I do see a lot of people interpreting it as sarcastic, but I don't really think Dan would joke about having a bad mental health day? I think he just can't bring himself to be sincere without some sort of distraction. It's just like "we're actual soulmates - not that souls are a real thing that exists." Dan needs to cling on to a little bit of something else when he's making a vulnerable statement, and in this case I think it's a silly filter over his words.

[anna_begins]

Yeah, definitely not sarcastic. His tone/voice reads as genuine, even if the filter suggests otherwise, it's just Dan's way.

[anna_begins]

Yeah, definitely not sarcastic. His tone/voice reads as genuine, even if the filter suggests otherwise, it's just Dan's way.

(sorry for double post but I'm past the point I can edit) I wanted to add to this that it's understandable that some people could interpret it as being sarcastic due to the filter he used since everyone processes things differently and context isn't always clear.

[inanerat]

Yeah I def interpreted it as genuine. Seeing as it's the kind of thing Dan's never really talked about straight up without jokes outside of a serious video (that also had many jokes) to me the filter just seems like an odd, funny thing to keep the mood a little bit lighter when he's being serious so it doesn't seem like such a big jump. Intimacy delivered with humor is a very different level (but no less important or real) to intimacy delivered genuinely, something I notice a lot with dnp.

Also if he is having a bad mental health day today (I don't doubt he's being honest, just acknowledging the possibility of delaying a post) I'm really proud of him for posting and keeping the piano clip up on the same day. In the past it has seemed like something he really enjoyed but was very sensitive to criticism about, so to be posting and keeping it up on a day he might be feeling less confident is really cool.

And it's interesting to me, do people really critique him (abt technique and stuff) when he's posted piano stuff in the past? I've always just enjoyed it because to me it seems like something that is a serious hobby of his, like he does it for himself and the focus is to have a fun challenge, not be perfect or like professional or anything.

[alittledizzy]

And it's interesting to me, do people really critique him (abt technique and stuff) when he's posted piano stuff in the past? I've always just enjoyed it because to me it seems like something that is a serious hobby of his, like he does it for himself and the focus is to have a fun challenge, not be perfect or like professional or anything.

It's actually a bit of both, critique and also blind praise. I wish I could remember what liveshow but he talked about it at some point - not liking when people telling him he's like, amazingly talented or super skilled when he knows he isn't.

[Megancita75]

Chiming in a couple hours late, but I really appreciated that Insta story. Like some days you just don’t feel great and for me pairing it with that flossing video actually captures The emotional tenor of some of those days pretty well for me, like there can be this sort of absurdity I recognize sometimes to a day where I feel down for no particular reason and it’s just something to get through. Anyway, that from my perspective was totally genuine and I loved it.

[fruitcriminals]

I'm glad he posted those videos, when I used to struggle my therapist suggested a coping strategy could be to ask someone/people to tell me nice things about myself that I could read through on days like that to get some clarity that I actually am nice/not worthless etc. I hope that he saw all the nice messages about his music and the people on twitter @'ing him with kind words. It must be pretty hard when he doesn't have a large support system of actual irl friends and family, especially in lockdown.

I have been pretty impressed by a lot of the young fans on twitter and it gives me some hope for society progression, obviously not all but the majority seem very up on mental health and lgbtq+ issues and their messages to him were very sweet and heartwarming - sending him cute pictures of their pets, telling him how he has inspired them and sending him little pictures or 'hugs'. Bless em.

That's much more than you get from IRL friends in their late twenties or older from my experience, half the time you 'reach out' and get left on read or just get 'i don't know what to say' in response.

[alittledizzy]

I'm not British so I'm not seeing the backlash Dan probably is (assuming this is about Meghan Markle), but god I love him speaking out like this.

[ukhon]

The Meghan/Harry situation in the UK is made more divisive with the amount of people that believe the rubbish that the UK tabloids print (see the Piers Morgan clip Dan attached in a reply somewhere); this is unfortunately what a lot of people actually believe in this country and it’s especially prevalent amongst the white working class. So glad he’s acknowledged it instead of doing that annoying thing he used to do in live shows where he sat on the fence and was ambiguous with similar stuff. I don’t have proper examples tbf but I remember back in like 2016 it made his live shows almost unwatchable