Dan & Phil Part 101: Gays In The Wild

[phancon]

yeah i don't think horny tweeting has any basis on their relationship, nor should it be reason to worry. back when i was dating my ex gf, we used to talk about people we found attractive fairly often and would horny post on social media sometimes. we knew neither of us would, like, cheat lol. it was just fantasy and being open about how hot we found celebs/characters/people we met at the shop.

dan's tweet just seems like an "i'm alive and still gay" tweet, nothing more or less. and i highly doubt phil would idly sit by if he ever had a problem with that sort of thing.

i do miss them. could really do with a phil vid about now.

[rizzo]

I mean, he's not gonna tweet about wanting Phil's dick so his options are limited.

This. This is it. This is literally the warning that needs to be posted every time Dan gets a little horny.

Reminds me of this magnificent post I saw on tumblr the other day in relation to Phil:

Had my own little mind-blown moment upon reading it.

So anyway. Worth reminding ourselves of the context these guys post in. Dan wants to be horny on main. But Dan doesn't want to talk about his relationship on main. So he's either not horny and horny for imaginary men he's rubbing up on in imaginary clubs.

[parallel]

I mean, he's not gonna tweet about wanting Phil's dick so his options are limited.

Don't speak too soon, anything's possible these days

[LAshleigh]

Almost every single time Dan tweets I almost unfollow him lol. Love the boys for their moderately inappropriate jokes, a lil uncomfortable with actual horny jokes (but not jokes?).

That said, I do not believe this reflects negatively on him and Phil's relationship in any way. I might be a tiny bit insecure if my fiancée tweeted something like that, but if she gave me a heads up about it or a private reassurance that I was the one she wanted, then it would be fine.

[inanerat]

I understand people's varying reactions of things like this tbh. For me I feel like I have a deep trust for dnp of how much they care for and love each that a tweet like this, something said in horny jest, doesn't have an impact on how I see their relationship. But, it's not something that is super common in our society and culture around romantic/sexual relationships, so it can feel weird and worrying from that perspective. However, like literally everything they do, the other is always an exception. Even in a non-horny way Dan has a past of commenting/kind of (?) joking about not wanting/liking people or spending time with them etc. (and some people have reacted being worried about that, too) but the main opinion seems to be (and is to me) that Phil is always such a clear, unspoken exception to those things. I feel like this is the same.

Reminds me of this magnificent post I saw on tumblr the other day in relation to Phil:

Had my own little mind-blown moment upon reading it.

Thank you for posting this it has really smacked me over the head in a good way??
Maybe because I was just talking with my therapist about feeling authentic and expressing/hiding oneself but I feel like I really relate to this strategy of like, not feeling comfortable expressing authentic things but being uncomfortable feeling like you are saying/doing fake, untrue things so you just pick and choose the parts that you do feel comfortable sharing and leave everything else out. Which I'm realizing is functional in keeping people comfortable with you but really puts a stop to chances on deeper connection which requires more authenticity and it can feel draining to feel seen but not fully seen. I think in a lot of ways that can apply to me and my interpersonal relationships and a relationship like Phil and his audience. Anyway, I'm so glad Phil (and Dan) can make gay jokes now look at them fucking go.

[yellowsubmarine]

Anytime Dan tweets anything gay or horny people start to question their relationship status... guys this is really nothing new, it's okay. I'm sure Phil doesn't care .

I'm just happy he's out and proud and if horny on main is the way, so be it.

[glitterintheair]

I’ll be honest, I am so over this horny 24/7 phase that Dan has going on. I don’t find it funny nor relatable anymore. Is being horny his only personality trait? It’s too much. Bro, you’re thirty.

Edit: I understand that now that he’s out he wants to make gay jokes etc but this guy is already giving us so little in terms of content and online presence, so it really rubs me the wrong way that he uses those occasions just to tweet or post how horny he is. It also makes me concerned, my guy are you a sex addict? Do we need to send you to rehab or something?

[shan]

Funny thing, I'm not really into overly sexual humour in general and was kind of feeling the side of being bored that these are the only types of tweets we get from Dan too... But then I went and checked his twitter and they actually aren't as frequent as I thought they were?! I genuinely thought the majority of his recent tweets were like this but they really aren't.

Maybe it's just that the horny tweets are the ones people talk about and continue to share weeks later that it's easy to feel like that's all he ever posts? Just thought this was interesting because I definitely felt like sexual humour was all we've been getting from Dan but that wasn't completely accurate. Colour me surprised!

[Levitating]

I saw this on Tumblr:

Anonymous asked:

What makes me mad is that he knows we appreciate a different side of him, so when we get no content ( no video, no insta, no twitter) or hardly anything but then he goes and does something targeted to a completely different audience I feel like is he taking us into account? idk it's weird to explain but I just want funny tweets about his day or an ig story about his flowers, not this persona putting stuff out just because

no youre getting me thinking yeah. its like all his tweets are targeted towards Outsiders, people who perceive him but not like actual phannies, and so you can tell he’s playing up a certain aspect of himself and not just. vibing and being whatever he wants. i feel like he’s vying for the attention of a general population, but he’s not giving anything to the people he already has

And made me think too. It is a persona!

[Phanshy]

I could understand Dan's tweet more if he was a frequent tweeter and regularly tweeted throw away tweets all the time but he's not, so I don't know who that's for or what he's trying to say because surely the vast majority of people who follow Dan believe him and Phil are together so is he just messing with people because it doesn't fit with the I've just moved in to my dream home with my long time partner vibe but I don't think he's trying to hint at relationship issues or anything so it's just confusing. It would be easier if you could tell they were jokes but they aren't even funny, I am used to sexual humour but these tweets from him always leave me feeling awkward.

Personally I wouldn't want my partner doing it, I'd feel embarrassed and insecure but I don't believe he would do it if he thought it bothered Phil.

[glitterintheair]

I saw this on Tumblr:

Anonymous asked:

What makes me mad is that he knows we appreciate a different side of him, so when we get no content ( no video, no insta, no twitter) or hardly anything but then he goes and does something targeted to a completely different audience I feel like is he taking us into account? idk it's weird to explain but I just want funny tweets about his day or an ig story about his flowers, not this persona putting stuff out just because

no youre getting me thinking yeah. its like all his tweets are targeted towards Outsiders, people who perceive him but not like actual phannies, and so you can tell he’s playing up a certain aspect of himself and not just. vibing and being whatever he wants. i feel like he’s vying for the attention of a general population, but he’s not giving anything to the people he already has

And made me think too. It is a persona!

I agree so much with anon. It’s like.. I wouldn’t even mind the occasional horny tweet if it was paired with something else. The thing is that’s not the case. He made a video after 2 years where he constantly mentioned casual sex and getting stds (which was in poor taste imo but whatever), his tweets are either about sex or self deprecation or both. His birthday post was “looking for a daddy to hurt me”. What even am I supposed to do with that? I miss Dan as a PERSON, who would share his piano sessions on ig, the Dan we got during stereo. When was the last time we got something like that from him? And I am not naive, I know we got that good content during the stereo era mostly because it was good promo for the app and Dan’s book release. But still. “Don’t like don’t follow”, you might say. And yeah, I unfollowed him this time. Don’t think i will miss much anyway.

[shan]

It's absolutely a persona and I think that makes perfect sense? Daniel Howell on YouTube is a persona as well, albeit a bit more genuine-feeling, but Daniel Howell the twitter persona has almost 2 million more followers than his YouTube channel. It makes sense to me that he wouldn't want to share much of his real life on a platform that has an even larger number of followers when he's stated he's not comfortable sharing his personal life on a platform he has a more 'intimate' audience of 6.2 million. What he's putting out to twitter followers feels like it's for outsiders for the most part because it is. The most interesting thing about his tweets is usually the replies. I'd wager that's because you have to actively seek those out so he feels comfortable being a bit more personal since the 'outsiders' aren't likely to see them.

It seems like the few personal tidbits we're given are through insta stories rather than twitter. This makes sense too since his insta followers are only 3.5 million compared to the 7.9 million he has on twitter. I personally would love if he was more active on insta stories since the content he puts up there is usually more my speed. Twitter has always felt to me like the social media account for the masses rather than the phandom.

[Megancita75]

I find the tumblr excerpt above to be strange in the implication that Dan should only make tweets that are crafted for fans. That's a myopic take, from my point of view. Sure, he probably can't use social media the way a normal person would and just tweet random thoughts, but I also don't think his social media can be construed solely as another form of content for fans to consume. Basically, some of his tweets are very much like some of the tweets written by other gay men in their 20s and 30s (even 40s, gasp! I'm in my 40s so I have to represent for the lusty 40 y/o folks) that I follow on Twitter. Off-color, crass, horny, sex-positive, defiant. I don't know why it feels like a controversial take for me to say this, but I feel like some of his tweets are absolutely all about talking to other gay cis men and trying to claim a space within that sub-culture -- and the majority of fans aren't part of that specific sub-culture and probably can't ever fully understand it. Maybe a particular tweet doesn't do it for you because ... it's not meant for you?

I don't love some of his tweets, and I totally get that they are a turn-off or unpalatable for various reasons for some people. But if I open Twitter on any given day, I see lots of similar tweets from other people that I just laugh and scroll past, so it's sometimes confusing to me why people have such a strong reaction to Dan tweeting the sort of thing that I see every day from other people.

Edited to add: as a thought experiment, if say Tyler or Seth had made the same tweet, would you be as bothered by it?

[Templeofshame]

Personally, my dash for the last... 6 months? Year? has contained a lot of responses to the (clearly unoriginal) sentiments of Dan's tweet, from how we-hate-men jokes can be harmful for trans men coming into their male identities and all sorts of people struggling with shame over their attraction to men, to how members of privileged groups joking about hating such groups can be a cop-out way to look woke without actually accepting one's own place within that group and the way the structures that oppress other people benefit you (I've seen that one mostly about white people, but I think I've also seen it about men). So for me, anyone making that joke at this point feels like haven't we gotten past this. I just wouldn't read it from anyone else, because I don't follow people who post things I'm not interested in, but if D&P tweet, it's going to be all over my dash for days.

I definitely agree that this tweet, and most anything Dan's been doing lately, isn't for me, and I think it's a tough thing a lot of fans are dealing with that someone who used to make content that drew us here and kept us engaged and sought to entertain us may not be interested in doing that anymore. I feel like it used to be that Dan periodically said/posted things that made it clear that he wanted more edgelord dudebro attention and it had a similar effect on fans, maybe. But personally I thoroughly enjoy a lot of content that is intended largely for a cis gay male audience, and it's mostly how generic and repetitive Dan's been with it that loses my interest, combined with sometimes just how poorly thought out his jokes can be (I've been getting a bunch of anons lately about the "aspirational STDs" joke in GANP).

[alittledizzy]

CACTUS CHUMS

Why is there a seagull screaming outside while I'm writing this? Is it lost? Perhaps it is a citygull? (my spellcheck just put a red squiggly line under that so I GUESS NOT.) Anyway

As you probs saw on twitstagram I’m back from filming a video for my channel which will be released sometime in either Autumn/Winter! It’ll hopefully be tasty after all that time in the oven. I don’t know why I just made an eating my video metaphor but it’s happened and let’s move on..

Speaking of videos, tomorrow I’m gonna film one that I can actually show you! I’m gonna film in the morning which is a rare occurrence from me (I’m usually a 8pm - midnight kinda filmer) but this one makes more sense for the morning. Which is also a small hint about what I’m doing. Probably the ideal Phil activity tbh.

I’m also DOUBLE VACCINATED now! The guy vaccinating me had a Buffy tote bag which to me is a sign of an instant BFF, but I didn’t want to slow him down by screaming ‘BE MY FRIEND’ into his face.. so alas no new friends were made that day. He also might have jumped and Moderna’d me right in the eye or something so maybe a good thing.

I’m off to play some more Apex now (i’m now level 500!) and then some Mario Kart, so if you’re on these games who knows, we might be in a match together! Sorry if i shoot you in the face (with either a laser or a shell.. delete as appropriate)

Farewell!

[LAshleigh]

Oooh, the ideal Phil activity, makes sense in the morning...any ideas?

[shan]

The only thing I can come up with is maybe a cereal tier list? Not sure though, it's hard to imagine Phil letting his cereal consumption be dictated by time of day

[Amiaw]

I can’t think of anything he’d do at home that would require him to wake up early so I hope it’s another video of him going outside

[alittledizzy]

I can’t think of anything he’d do at home that would require him to wake up early so I hope it’s another video of him going outside

I would love a cheeky morning routine video. I think Dan did something like it back in the day - a get ready with me, maybe? But Phil going through his 'morning routine' of picking out an outfit and doing his hair and making breakfast? Good shit.

(It's probably the cereal review tier.)

[shan]

I can’t think of anything he’d do at home that would require him to wake up early so I hope it’s another video of him going outside

I would love a cheeky morning routine video. I think Dan did something like it back in the day - a get ready with me, maybe? But Phil going through his 'morning routine' of picking out an outfit and doing his hair and making breakfast? Good shit.

(It's probably the cereal review tier.)

Ok I would love a morning routine video. But also I just realised, even if it's only a cereal tier list or breakfast thing, we're finally going to see the new kitchen!!

[inanerat]

Whatever it is, if it is something at the house I'm really hoping it means getting to see a new spot in the house! Hoping for either the kitchen or balcony tbh.

[snoopysadie]

I really hope it's something with a DITL vibe. Maybe Phil venturing outside but showing Dan and the house before/after?
Want dan to be the dank camera man again. I kinda enjoyed that when it was all we had. It felt v domestic

[phantasticfacts]

I find the tumblr excerpt above to be strange in the implication that Dan should only make tweets that are crafted for fans. That's a myopic take, from my point of view. Sure, he probably can't use social media the way a normal person would and just tweet random thoughts, but I also don't think his social media can be construed solely as another form of content for fans to consume. Basically, some of his tweets are very much like some of the tweets written by other gay men in their 20s and 30s (even 40s, gasp! I'm in my 40s so I have to represent for the lusty 40 y/o folks) that I follow on Twitter. Off-color, crass, horny, sex-positive, defiant. I don't know why it feels like a controversial take for me to say this, but I feel like some of his tweets are absolutely all about talking to other gay cis men and trying to claim a space within that sub-culture -- and the majority of fans aren't part of that specific sub-culture and probably can't ever fully understand it. Maybe a particular tweet doesn't do it for you because ... it's not meant for you?

I don't love some of his tweets, and I totally get that they are a turn-off or unpalatable for various reasons for some people. But if I open Twitter on any given day, I see lots of similar tweets from other people that I just laugh and scroll past, so it's sometimes confusing to me why people have such a strong reaction to Dan tweeting the sort of thing that I see every day from other people.

Edited to add: as a thought experiment, if say Tyler or Seth had made the same tweet, would you be as bothered by it?

Let's be real. People don't react strongly to Dan's jokes because they're repetitive, or they're aimed at a different audience. We react strongly because the majority of us think Dan and Phil are together and his jokes about casual sex go against that idea. I tend to think they're together too, but I'll be honest, I feel a lot of cognitive dissonance when he says things like this and I'm sure I'm not the only one. It feels good to say he's lying to be relatable, or they're just jokes, but we don't know that for sure. The truth we don't like to acknowledge is that neither of them have said they're still together and Dan has said many things now that imply he's single. There were these tweets, his comments in GANP, and several comments in interviews. I know we all have this fantasy of Dan and Phil being in a happy, long-term romantic relationship and living in domestic bliss in their custom forever home, but we have to accept that this might not be reality. They could very well just be platonic best friends who decided to build a house together because they didn't want to rent anymore and they enjoy living together. Maybe Dan really does have commitment issues that make him afraid of getting into a serious romantic relationship. Maybe he just wants to have fun and play the field now that he's free to do that. Maybe he is with Phil, but they're not exclusive, or they have a relationship that's in between romance and friendship. We don't know these people. We see the tiny parts of their lives they're willing to share with us and the rest is in our heads.

I know the main argument is that they would just come out and tell us if they weren't dating, but would they? They know the majority of us are here because of phan. Do they really want to risk losing a good portion of their hardcore fanbase?

We talk about how genuine he was on Stereo and how fake his twitter persona is without ever considering that maybe stereo dan was the fake one. Dan keeps talking about living authentically. Why would he constantly be putting on an act if that's what he wants to achieve? Maybe this promiscuous, angsty commitment-phobe is who Dan really is, and we aren't willing to accept that because it's not who we want him to be.

[Levitating]

Maybe this promiscuous, angsty commitment-phobe is who Dan really is, and we aren't willing to accept that because it's not who we want him to be.

I would quote your whole post, but this summarises it enough.
Perhaps we do have to remember that buying a house, once you are relatively comfortable with money, is not a life-changing milestone. It can be an investment for the real future: you stop giving your money to a landlord (Dan complained a lot about this) and put your money is something you can earn from in the future (for sale or rent).
Perhaps you are right and his commitment issues are exactly what brings him to buy a house with a 'mate', Phil, as an investment, so he steps further away from anyone else asking him for commitment. No, he'd rather prefer a financial investment over an exclusive, 'serious' relationship.
And as we just see the smallest glimpse of the life they have, we don't even know if that house is actually a shared ownership (very popular here in UK) and that it can physically be split once needed.

I also try to think whether I would similarly doubt a duo made up of a female and a male, one that would like a straight couple, but the thing is Dan especially seems to have explored sexuality and identity in a more progressive way that what a traditional 'straight couple' usually does. We push for representation for all queer identities/relationships because they are less known. So there is an identity/sexuality/idea of relationship that he must have explored and that we tend to overlook because we are mostly comfortable/knowledgeable of the classic 'and they lived happily ever after'

[shan]

Whatever it is, if it is something at the house I'm really hoping it means getting to see a new spot in the house! Hoping for either the kitchen or balcony tbh.

He can post the most boring, generic video for all I care as long as we get a glimpse of some new areas. Right now my absolute perfect video would be a full tour including behind the scenes of designing the forever home. The design choices so far have been very... interesting let's say I'm itching to see what they've done with the rest of the place. Likely never going to happen but I'm going to keep on dreaming!