Dan & Phil Part 37: A better way to live

Our two favourite full time internet nerds who never go outside!
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swofro
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000dia000 wrote: EDIT: also, Phil never really seemed to care about what age/gender his audience was? Not anything I've seen of them, he just liked an audience that seemed nice and would ever really remark on their kindness rather than any other aspect. Has he ever made any remarks about insecurities about having a "serious" audience or is Phil being mysterious and we'll never know what he bitches about in secret what Dan bitches about to his audience.
Ah, trying to understand Phil, my fav subject.

A bit unrelated to what you actually adress (being concern about viewers age/gender) I find it quite interesting that earlier in his days, he is so eager for fame (applying for big brother, joining the weakest link) but was not that bothered when Dan has more subscribers than him, even if he was the one one who gave Dan a leg up at the start. And even now, is not bothered (as far as we know) with the huge gap between his and Dan's subscribers. Where does it change, I wonder? Have he taste the fame and realise it's not what he think it is like? Was he not bothered because it's Dan? Is he just not care about it because he had found someone something that fulfil the gap in his life that makes him more content than being famous? What an angel.
Or maybe he secretly shit talk about it behind the camera because he is secretly a demon, who knows. Haha.

About dapg, I imagine if they really are playing games just with the camera on, we will get another vid like the old sonic and crash bandicoot vid. Less talking, more serious (sort of) and less engaging with viewers. I don't know how they didn't think of it like that before launching the gaming channel. Also, i wonder why the crash bandicoot vid doesn't reach 1mil view when we have a footage of phil lying on dan's lap. (I feel like I've said this before here lol. Sorry)

Toddler Dab is very cute and Dil being a dad is also aww worthy for me. And Tabitha talking with Drago and teach Dab to walk. My heart is bursting.
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KoolKatt
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Hey! this is my first post so... :roll:
swofro wrote: About dapg, I imagine if they really are playing games just with the camera on, we will get another vid like the old sonic and crash bandicoot vid. Less talking, more serious (sort of) and less engaging with viewers. I don't know how they didn't think of it like that before launching the gaming channel. Also, i wonder why the crash bandicoot vid doesn't reach 1mil view when we have a footage of phil lying on dan's lap. (I feel like I've said this before here lol. Sorry)
Someone else said this in a previous post but, I think the reason why those kind of videos don't get so popular is because of the popularity of those games. The more popular and well known the game is, the more views they'll get, so the content doesn't matter.

I'm sorry I dont have a lot to say :cry: I just wanted to make my first post! You guys seem like really interesting and funny people, I hope I'm welcomed here :D
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malday
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OMG phi! he has a second wife called Janice! Janice from the shop. :')
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malday wrote:OMG phi! he has a second wife called Janice! Janice from the shop. :')
And she has such a lovely voice. Sadly they're getting divorced, but he still has Sabrina, so it's not too bad
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SquishPhan
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malday wrote:OMG phi! he has a second wife called Janice! Janice from the shop. :')
That was by far the best thing about the live show. Also he already wants to divorce his pregnant wife. That is not cool Phil.
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Ablissa
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Phil is such a bad husband, he wouldn't go get some cashews for Janice. I would divorce him too :sideeye: #SupportJanice
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psychicmoth
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I was about to ask if someone had sent regards to Sabrina and Lola lmao
Phil, I love you so much
Phangate you should be proud of your legacy

JANICE
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papierklemmen
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nephilimcat wrote:
malday wrote:OMG phi! he has a second wife called Janice! Janice from the shop. :')
And she has such a lovely voice. Sadly they're getting divorced, but he still has Sabrina, so it's not too bad
the #phangate drama got more insane. there are now two wives, one of them is janice from the shop no less; one child lola and another baby on the way that's kicking! britney spears - womanizer.mp3

thanks to that bit the liveshow got a bit more exciting for a second. other than that zzzzzzzzzzzzzz.
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I am living for both Dan and Phil's reactions to phangate, I never thought I would find this so funny , Phil's skit today with his new wife Janice was just great :lol: :lol:
Oh and also (as I saw someone mention on twitter), these reactions kinda show how preposterous the idea of secret wives, or really even secret partners (imo) is for them, not that I ever actually thought they had any but you now this removes all doubt (for me at least).
Last edited by Laney on Thu Jan 26, 2017 9:08 pm, edited 1 time in total.
Laney
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Ablissa wrote:Phil is such a bad husband, he wouldn't go get some cashews for Janice. I would divorce him too :sideeye: #SupportJanice

It would be hilarious if people got that hashtag trending, or #IStandwithJanice :lol: :lol:
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flarequake
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That was the most adorable liveshow. I saw the start on my phone on the walk home and couldn't stop smiling. He made me laugh so much with Janice. He sounded more like her teenage son, not the most mature of husbands, but cute nonetheless. Bless him not realising his emu egg will take two days to hatch. Also he looks gorgeous in that blue jumper.

I loved the Sims video too. On first watch there were two lines that made me laugh, then I forgot them and when I watched it again I didn't notice them so they were funny once I guess. So much boob talk, I wonder if they're boob-deprived. So cute over the furniture, the clothes and the learning to walk. Slow-motion action replay in black and white and everything. So funny how unsurprised they were at Tabitha's third abduction. And Phil's face in the last minute, uhf, I love when he looks at the camera with his head slightly tilted and that sweet little smile.
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lilMango
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"I'll rub myself in a mango before I eat a mango."

I'm content. Today has been a good day.

(He also wore the California sweatshirt I am alive)
Phil Lester wrote:"I'll rub myself in a mango before I eat a mango."
"Make no judgements where you have no compassion." -Anne McCaffrey
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pastelspectre
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i feel privileged to be a part of the mango cult/group

in other news, this was the most adorable live show he was so calm and gave off such positive vibes for me. the fact that he laughed off the phangate stuff was funny too. it was a good liveshow overall..gave such calming vibes for me
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alittledizzy
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My quickie timestamps, based on yonow times so don't hate me if they don't match up with youtube perfectly.

5:28 - Sugar boost before show. Didn't get much sleep last night.
7:11 - He would love his baby if it looked like a mountain goat.
9:19 - Phil does not like the idea of a sentient toy with emotions.
10:05 - "I'd rub myself in a mango before I eat a mango."
12:02 - Buzz saw tweet.
14:28 - Up north for birthday celebrations. He doesn't know what's happening. "Might be a bit of surprise."
15:29 - Martyn came over today, thinking about pastel merch.
16:44 - Asked about stories and told a domestic one. This seems like fair game for them now. (Story: Explosion noise from kitchen at two am. Dan smashed a large pint glass, glass everywhere. Dan cut his hand, feet were fine.)
19:52 - "A certain Mr. Howell"
20:33 - Movies and a nice meal is on the agenda for Saturday, then going "up north" next week.
22:06 - "What's wrong with me?" Sounds like Dan when his voice goes hi.
27:58 - asked about next AP video, responds "we've been filming" - further proof that solo channels are still a joint effort in their minds.
28:29 - He loved The OA
31:43 - Someone said 'tell Dan watch Rick and Morty' and he almost seemed to hesitate or like he was unsure if he should answer with a personal response, but ultimately just agreed to and left it alone.
31:49 - Phil hates pineapple on pizza. Thank you Phil. Cheesy fruit is disgusting.
33:24 - Sea lion story - they are social fails.
33:50 - Story about Mark/French teacher.
34:27 - Phil standing up for his friend but then also didn't take French any more because of that teacher.
40:31 - phangate - "Looks like the marriage isn't gonna last."
45:25 - Expectations for 2017. "Very... more chilled, but still lots of things happening, if that makes sense. I'm not going to be on tour in a different town every day but there's going to be lots going on and lots of exciting things, I think."
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fancybum
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Dan and Misc Watch 2017
Hatching a MYSTERY EGG! Week 3

Prompted Dan Mention
18:50 (chat) Where’s the Phil plushie?
“Is there a Dan plushie somewhere? (moves aside to see the shelf behind him) Oh yeah. Where’s Phil gone? He’s left home, dunno.”

19:35 (chat) Dil’s outfit; why Phil?
“Don’t blame me. I think that was a certain Mr. Howell who chose Dil’s outfit"

31:30 (chat) Tell Dan to watch Rick and Morty
"Ok, I will tell him"

44:30 (chat) Are you going to Vidcon?
"Yes, Dan and I are both going to Vidcon in Los Angeles"
Unprompted Dan Mention
04:20 "[in Australia] the Kangaroos were so done with people wanting to feed them that one just tried to full on punch Dan in the face”

16:30 “Oh! Something dramatic did happen, yes. The other night, I think it was about 2 in the morning, there was this great explosional noise from the kitchen. And I walked in and Dan had somehow smashed one of our large pint glasses, and it wasn’t just a smash, it had obliterated the entire kitchen. There was glass everywhere, I’ve never seen so much glass. I wasn’t even aware so much glass could be within a pint glass, but it turned into a fine dust, so even the carpet outside the kitchen was covered in glassy dust. I don’t know how he did it, he must have slammed it into the floor or something. It wasn’t just glass, it was glass and sticky ribena.
I thought we were going to cut our feet open, because he was still stood in the kitchen like a ninja trying to avoid it all and I was like, “Dan, you’re just gonna have to jump. Jump out of there in your socks.” But yeah, he had loads of glass powder on his socks. I think he just cut his hand, he didn’t cut his feet.”
(aw we won’t hear about this from Dan for two weeks then boo)

38:10 (chat) Do you think you would clone yourself?
"No, I think one Phil is enough for this world. I think our clumsiness would just turn it into a disaster.”
"I can’t decide if I would really annoy myself.”
"Do you think [my clone] would be as annoying [to me] as I am to Dan, eating all my own cereal, or we’d both just buy thousands of boxes of cereal and spend all our money on cereal."
Neutral Dan Mention
11:50 “What is a godmother? Does that mean if I die, and Dan dies, you have to take care of Dab?”

15:25 “We have been thinking of some new pastel-y merch options with my brother. My brother came over [to brainstorm today]. No promises though, we’re just exploring the options. We have a whole plethora of things on danandphilshop.com"
Miscellaneous
05:55 (about having La La Land soundtrack stuck in his head) “I was like oh my God I’m trying to sleep! Shut up Ryan Gosling! Emma Stone! Get out of my brain! What are you doing?"

07:00 “You don’t know what your baby’s gonna look like. It could look like a mountain goat. I mean, I’d still love my baby if it looked like a mountain goat, you know? I look a bit like a mountain goat, and my mum cared for me well.”

10:00 "I’ll rub myself in a mango before I'd eat a mango”
(Phil’s main kink: mixing sex and food but we already knew that)

10:45 Socks of the day: one foot pugs, one foot sharks

12:00-14:00 [Drilling chat, but doesn’t mention Dan and hints at time travel to outlaw saws and drills rather than hinting at moving, boo]

14:30 (chat) Happy almost-birthday!
"Thank you! I’m going up north for my birthday celebrations. Don’t even really know what’s happening, might be a bit of a surprise. Think I might get a red velvet cake [or get one myself if need be].”
"I’m going up north, gonna have a northern birthday, which’ll be nice."

20:15 (chat) What’s your birthday plan?
“Red velvet cake and movies and a nice meal, I think is on the cards. I’m having a friend hangout on Saturday and then going up north next week.”
(TO FAMILY AHHHHH ahem I assume. But yeah, no mention of Dan or any specific mention of seeing friends in the north cough cough cough cough)

21:25 (reaching for emu egg thing) “Ah! I almost dropped it, this is why I shouldn’t have children or animals”
(drops it again seconds later)
“I did it again. What’s wrong with me? I have the worst coordination."
eme-you vs eme-moo
24:50 “Send some birthing vibes, please”

26:15 shows off new pretty houseplant: “It’s on the dining table as the centerpiece”
Named it Fleur Lawrence
"'Fleur Butt', it’s not gonna be called Fleur Butt. 'Daddy'? No, stop! Lawrence is the name."

27:55 “We’ve filmed a bunch of gaming videos as well. I think there’s been a few games we haven’t played before and one we have played before, so you can look forward to those.”
(I will thanks Phil)

28:20 “Saw the OA. O-Amazing is what it stands for. I loved it so much.
It was very Phil; it had such a cool concept and the characters, especially the main character was really really good, acting was good, mystery was good.”

30:00 "I’ve been having good vibes recently, guys. The vibes have been good.”

32:15 “I will give it a cheeky lick, I’m not gonna bite it, I’m gonna give it a cheeky lick"
#nocontext

33:20 [good story about an unhinged French teacher when he was like 11 (and sounded adorably polite standing up for his friend aw), but I can’t be arsed typing it all out, but ]

36:10 (chat) Favourite subject in school
Art because they were allowed to listen to music while drawing, which was ‘quite creative’.
Hated games/PE, nightmare. Geography, super into it for some reason.
Worst was history, not good with the dates.

39:35 (chat) Have you heard you’re secretly married
"I did hear about that! I learned about it after it’d kind of been over on the internet. But yeah. Secret marriage. Did I have a child as well?
It’s actually true. My wife is holding the laptop right now. Say hello, Janice."
[Phil’s got jokes]:
(terrifying voice of Janice) “Hello
(Phil) She’s got a very interesting voice.
Are you on younow again?
-Yes I’m on younow
Get me some cashews
-Get your own cashews, Janice!
My baby’s kicking
-Look, can we talk about this later, please
I want a divorce!
-Oh. Looks like the marriage isn’t going to last.

40:35 “That’s her voice, stop laughing at my wife’s voice. The baby is kicking" (laughs)
(chat) Your marriage is toxic.
"I know, we’re getting a divorce now."
(chat) You’re cheating on Sabrina
"Wait, who’s Sabrina? Oh, what is happening, I’m just gonna leave this now, to the internet. You can decode whatever’s happening."

(So here’s the thing, it’s easy to say they find it so funny because of the extent of the story, as in not just a hidden relationship, but a full on wife and baby, so it’s basically beyond ridiculous and ripe for jokes. But I think to a degree they’re laughing at the premise itself: that he could have a hidden relationship (with someone who isn’t Dan) at all. Like if either of them were actually hiding another person or relationships, would it be this funny to the point of them both taking the piss out of it in their respective liveshows. It’s so hilarious to Phil that there could be someone there that nobody knows about (who isn’t Dan) holding his laptop behind the scenes, demanding cashews. It’s a ludicrous concept, because all there is or has ever been is Dan, whoops bye)

45:20 (chat) What are your expectations for 2017
"I think it’s gonna be more chilled, but still lots of things happening, if that makes sense. I’m not gonna be on tour and in a different town everyday, but there’s gonna be lots going on and lots of exciting things, I think. I’m really enjoying making gaming videos, and I’m happy to make lots more gaming videos, that’s something that I’m gonna be doing.”
(it just occurred to me that they could just play Shelter 2 together. If the views were lower because it was just Phil on his own, that doesn’t mean they need to scrap the whole thing. Just bring Dan in AND PLAY IT FOR GODS SAKE, the adopted lynx kittens need saving, WON’T SOMEBODY PLEASE THINK OF THE KITTENS)
Phinal Tally: said ‘Dan’ 10 times

Dan and Phil Watch 2017 Week 3:

Dan mentioning Phil: 29/62 minutes = 0.47 per min.
Phil mentioning Dan: 10/48 minutes = 0.21 per min.
alittledizzy wrote:31:49 - Phil hates pineapple on pizza. Thank you Phil. Cheesy fruit is disgusting.
Heretics, the lot of you.
Thanks and have a great day! Oil me
jesp
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fancybum wrote:
alittledizzy wrote:31:49 - Phil hates pineapple on pizza. Thank you Phil. Cheesy fruit is disgusting.
Heretics, the lot of you.
Right? Pineapple on pizza is great.

I'm truly disappointed by the hate for the greatest fruit on the greatest food.
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alittledizzy
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Jesp wrote:
fancybum wrote:
alittledizzy wrote:31:49 - Phil hates pineapple on pizza. Thank you Phil. Cheesy fruit is disgusting.
Heretics, the lot of you.
Right? Pineapple on pizza is great.

I'm truly disappointed by the hate for the greatest fruit on the greatest food.
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uglyamerican
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31:49 - Phil hates pineapple on pizza.
sia
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Haha that dialogue with Janice was hilarious
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lefthandedism
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KoolKatt wrote:Hey! this is my first post so... :roll:
swofro wrote: About dapg, I imagine if they really are playing games just with the camera on, we will get another vid like the old sonic and crash bandicoot vid. Less talking, more serious (sort of) and less engaging with viewers. I don't know how they didn't think of it like that before launching the gaming channel. Also, i wonder why the crash bandicoot vid doesn't reach 1mil view when we have a footage of phil lying on dan's lap. (I feel like I've said this before here lol. Sorry)
Someone else said this in a previous post but, I think the reason why those kind of videos don't get so popular is because of the popularity of those games. The more popular and well known the game is, the more views they'll get, so the content doesn't matter.

I'm sorry I dont have a lot to say :cry: I just wanted to make my first post! You guys seem like really interesting and funny people, I hope I'm welcomed here :D
:D
:welcome: KoolKatt!

I guess I need to find the crash bandicoot video--clearly I've been missing out.

I also came here to say:

+1 for pineapple on pizza!

Edit: OK, watched Crash Bandicoot, which I'm pretty sure I'd never seen before. Most of Phil's old videos have low numbers of views (as I've complained before)--even more so on LessAmazingPhil.

But I didn't know another example of Phil falling on Dan and Dan gently pushing him away existed
Last edited by lefthandedism on Thu Jan 26, 2017 11:45 pm, edited 1 time in total.
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NoOneWantsATortoise
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I haven't even watched the liveshow yet but, cashews, what a specific thing for wifey Janice to demand from him. You know who else in Phil's life has literally repeatedly told us he LOVES cashew nuts...drawing from real life are we? Dan makes Phil bring him cashews #confirmed.
malday
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So at about halfway through the liveshow, people in the chat were spamming about the phangate story, every other comment was "talk about your wife and child" and he was dodging the question and I thought he wouldn't comment on it.

But then he decided to read that premium message about it.
Was it because it was from a top fan and he didn't want to reject the question, or was he prepared to talk about it, did he have the Janice bit already prepared?
To me it seemed ad-lib and it was hilarious.

But surely they must have heard about other conspiracy theories before and not comment on them.
Why did they decide to nip this one in the bud?
NoOneWantsATortoise wrote:I haven't even watched the liveshow yet but, cashews, what a specific thing for wifey Janice to demand from him. You know who else in Phil's life has literally repeatedly told us he LOVES cashew nuts...drawing from real life are we? Dan makes Phil bring him cashews #confirmed.
Actually, someone in the chat mentioned earlier that they were snacking on cashew nuts.
(another reason why i think the Janice bit was ad-lib)
KoolKatt
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sia wrote:Haha that dialogue with Janice was hilarious
So true, this is my favourite liveshow from Phil so far!

Also, how can you guys like pineapple on a pizza???!!!
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alittledizzy
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KoolKatt wrote:Also, how can you guys like pineapple on a pizza???!!!
Welcome to the forum, KoolKatt! You are exactly the kind of person we need around here.
sia
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KoolKatt wrote:
sia wrote:Haha that dialogue with Janice was hilarious
So true, this is my favourite liveshow from Phil so far!

Also, how can you guys like pineapple on a pizza???!!!
Hello :) It sounds like the most disgusting thing ever, but I've never tried it, so maybe it is one of those things that you have to try it to like it, but then again I don't like pineapple in any form so

And I'm not trying to over analyse things again but just let me form some logical conclusions. I think the way both Dan and Phil jumped on this secret wife rumors and nipped it in the bud (I mean the author also kind of did that unfortunately) (also Phil immediately invented unhappy marriage) speaks a bit about where their channels and the way they are going to present themselves in public is going in the future,
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