Dan & Phil Part 43: I'll touch you when I please

[cherrybomb3]

kanye references tho cmon guys dont lose sight of what is important here

also @ appropriate nature of tweets lol yes spies and/or robot copies everywhere

[SexyTrashCan]

kanye references tho cmon guys dont lose sight of what is important here

also @ appropriate nature of tweets lol yes spies and/or robot copies everywhere

We're onto them

[hunnyftw]

Of course you're all loving it. I still maintain that it's not as much beautiful as just totally pretentious

Anyway, this rare opportunity where I'm somehow immune to Dan's appeal and can think semi-rationally made me wonder: they both (but Dan slightly more so than Phil, I think) are constantly bombarded with praise, some of which mentions only their supposedly good looks. There's no way that they don't see some parts of it, and even some parts mean a lot when you're as popular as they currently are. How do you think it affects them? Do you think it might've gone to their heads just a little bit? On the one hand I can't imagine it wouldn't but on the other hand I can't see a lot of evidence for that in their behaviour... I don't know, man. But it fascinates me. Does it make them more confident? More insecure? Do you think they're secretly massive pricks now but can hide it well? Somebody share an interesting perspective with me, please!

I was initially thinking only about Dan, but feel free to drag Phil into it as well

[flarequake]

That photo is lovely, such a pretty boy. His curls, his face in profile, the waves over his face colouring his lips blue. He sounds like such a brat toddler replying "no", though, it's so blunt. It's funny to see him say that but also share the photo because someone asked, they didn't exactly say please, the phandom does seem pretty non-stop demanding. It's too good a photo for him to only happen to share because he was asked for more, though, would have been a shame if we'd never seen it.

[malday]

Really don't fancy getting into this debate, but I certainly don't think they dislike their audience as some of you seem to suggest. Anyhow, here's another cute picture of Dan that Phil almost certainly took God I love that shirt on him

wasn't there a joint liveshow last year where dan talked about how phil wasn't able to take decent photos? i would like him to eat his words and make a formal apology because phil certainly has a knack for taking photos of dan.

yes there was, and i completely agree.

dan, where's the artsy photo you took of phil, huh?, let's see the talent you brag about!

[auri]

I am totally jumping inyo the praising train here cause that picture of dan is almost too much jeez man #dantrash and also like?? when did dan turn so handsome? I mean sure he has always been a pretty boy but now it's just overwhelming. Goshh. I am really loving his new(ish) style and the curly hair woop makes me really happy that i decided to drop straightening my own hair ~year ago.

Anywayyy, i'm excited about new video/ls tomorrow (i mean if there is gonna be any yikes)! Would like to have a ls but i'd be happy with a gaming vid or tbh any video. I've been rewatching undertale (for the game, mostly, i love it) and i just really would like them to make another let's play like that at some point.

[cherrybomb3]

Really don't fancy getting into this debate, but I certainly don't think they dislike their audience as some of you seem to suggest. Anyhow, here's another cute picture of Dan that Phil almost certainly took God I love that shirt on him

wasn't there a joint liveshow last year where dan talked about how phil wasn't able to take decent photos? i would like him to eat his words and make a formal apology because phil certainly has a knack for taking photos of dan.

yes there was, and i completely agree.

dan, where's the artsy photo you took of phil, huh?, let's see the talent you brag about!

itd be easier if he stopped putting cookies in front of his face

[bluewho]

Of course you're all loving it. I still maintain that it's not as much beautiful as just totally pretentious

Anyway, this rare opportunity where I'm somehow immune to Dan's appeal and can think semi-rationally made me wonder: they both (but Dan slightly more so than Phil, I think) are constantly bombarded with praise, some of which mentions only their supposedly good looks. There's no way that they don't see some parts of it, and even some parts mean a lot when you're as popular as they currently are. How do you think it affects them? Do you think it might've gone to their heads just a little bit? On the one hand I can't imagine it wouldn't but on the other hand I can't see a lot of evidence for that in their behaviour... I don't know, man. But it fascinates me. Does it make them more confident? More insecure? Do you think they're secretly massive pricks now but can hide it well? Somebody share an interesting perspective with me, please!

I was initially thinking only about Dan, but feel free to drag Phil into it as well

I think on the one hand it totally goes to Dan's head. I think he does get validation out of it, a certain confidence bordering on arrogance. But on the other hand I feel like it's continually surprising to him that people react that way. For example, when he was discussing the thumbnail for his 'sweaty daniel' liveshow and he said that it was meant as a joke but that people were saying he accidentally looked good, 'I'll take that'. I think he likes the attention and it pleases him to think he is good looking.

The other side of this though is that the massive attention does make him feel more insecure and increases his anxiety. Like in the memes video, he does seem to be somewhat upset/ defensive about some of the jokes made about his clothes etc, and he even says the jokes 'bring him back down to earth'. I also think the idea of a massive audience constantly wanting content from him increases his insecurity and anxiety. Insecure about making / saying and wearing the wrong thing, and subsequent anxiety that makes him avoid engaging.

Anyway you'll have to excuse me I have to go and freak out on twitter about that photo now

[DatCog]

I love that new photo (tbh I've loved every single one of their Singapore photos...they've brought much joy into my life these past couple of weeks), it reminds me a bit of Radiohead's cover art!

I don't think they dislike or resent their audience as a whole...of course they probably feel immense dislike towards the tiny minority that stalk/harass them etc but I'm sure they know that the numbers are low and they don't tar us all with the same brush. I think it was great how much they shared of their time in Singapore, considering it was a personal trip.

I was watching some gamingmas videos earlier and I've decided that I don't like Dan's straight hair anymore. I really hope he keeps the curls

[bee]

Of course you're all loving it. I still maintain that it's not as much beautiful as just totally pretentious

yeah same I'm not much for the posed/highly controlled photos. Though if he likes taking and sharing those photos, go Dan (or Phil for that matter)

Oooo possible liveshow tomorrow? That would make me so happy, I'm so stressed out. They relax me. I need my liveshows. Bee needs her liveshows. *in Terry needs his nutrients voice*

[saffarinda]

Of course you're all loving it. I still maintain that it's not as much beautiful as just totally pretentious

Anyway, this rare opportunity where I'm somehow immune to Dan's appeal and can think semi-rationally made me wonder: they both (but Dan slightly more so than Phil, I think) are constantly bombarded with praise, some of which mentions only their supposedly good looks. There's no way that they don't see some parts of it, and even some parts mean a lot when you're as popular as they currently are. How do you think it affects them? Do you think it might've gone to their heads just a little bit? On the one hand I can't imagine it wouldn't but on the other hand I can't see a lot of evidence for that in their behaviour... I don't know, man. But it fascinates me. Does it make them more confident? More insecure? Do you think they're secretly massive pricks now but can hide it well? Somebody share an interesting perspective with me, please!

I was initially thinking only about Dan, but feel free to drag Phil into it as well

I think on the one hand it totally goes to Dan's head. I think he does get validation out of it, a certain confidence bordering on arrogance. But on the other hand I feel like it's continually surprising to him that people react that way. For example, when he was discussing the thumbnail for his 'sweaty daniel' liveshow and he said that it was meant as a joke but that people were saying he accidentally looked good, 'I'll take that'. I think he likes the attention and it pleases him to think he is good looking.

The other side of this though is that the massive attention does make him feel more insecure and increases his anxiety. Like in the memes video, he does seem to be somewhat upset/ defensive about some of the jokes made about his clothes etc, and he even says the jokes 'bring him back down to earth'. I also think the idea of a massive audience constantly wanting content from him increases his insecurity and anxiety. Insecure about making / saying and wearing the wrong thing, and subsequent anxiety that makes him avoid engaging.

Anyway you'll have to excuse me I have to go and freak out on twitter about that photo now

I think anyone would enjoy the attention, but the stuff that made me the most uncomfortable was when Dan was younger and would casually mention that he was fat, and make subtle allusions to the fact that he dislikes his appearance, but brush them off as not being serious or it just being a joke - I'd rather he be confident and pleased with his appearance, posting all these aesthetic pictures, than maintaining such a negative impression of himself tbh

[lishachi]

I do feel sorry for him, reading some of the @s to him asking him to post the photo, like he posted it on other social media and it's not enough. I see where the phandom are coming from, perhaps some don't have instagram or whatever, but saying 'are you alive' etc, c'mon. I do not envy their lives at all, I can't imagine what having that kind of following is like, it seems like it's a lot of pressure and I do not blame them at all for wanting privacy. Christ, I post hardly anything anymore on social media regarding my family/life/relationships/personal life because I like my privacy and would rather keep things to myself, I really cannot imagine how they must feel. On the other hand, they are big youtubers with a past that anybody could look up and with a fair majority of their fans shipping them, they have a massive following, people are intrigued and interested in their lives. More so now than ever. But even though social media is a window into people's lives, it doesn't show all of it. It's a controlled perspective of how the individual wants to portray themselves, and photos that are chosen to do this are just small fractions of their lives. For Dan and Phil, it's probably quite a small fraction of what they do.

Maybe it's as I've gotten older and more private that I've come to realise how much privacy is important. I don't view them the same as I did 2 years ago, I've changed, they've changed, my perspective on life has changed. I feel like I've come to realise they are adults whose lives are basically the internet, and this comes with consequences, but strip that back and they are human beings like the rest of us and not everything should be shared with millions of people. I don't know what I'm getting at, I've lost track now.

tl;dr: Privacy is important, even though they have a following, everyone should be allowed some. (Not attacking anyone, just something i've come to realise and after seeing the tweet, all your opinions are fascinating to me.)

On the subject of praise and compliments, considering they've been on social media for quite a while now I'd say it'd be hard not to absorb those comments and make you feel more confident. Just one comment from someone saying something positive about your appearance is a self esteem boost, for most anyway. Whether it has gone to their heads, I'm not too sure. Phil always seems thankful for the compliments and accepts them and from what I've seen/watched he rarely rejects/questions them. Whereas Dan has done before. He seems to be more insecure than Phil, sometimes accepting compliments, but sometimes questioning them. It seems to me like he will often question the compliment, as a sort of 'are you sure?' thing rather than Phils 'thank you!' - usually regarding how good their hair looks in liveshows, is what I'm referring to here - and perhaps that is low self esteem. But other times he seems confident in what he wears and how he looks, so perhaps it depends on his mood and how he's feeling. Who knows. Interesting topic though! More discussion on this would be super interesting.

[starsandshards]

i feel like dan is insecure/has low self-esteem. i say this because i'm the same and i constantly take selfies/abuse filters/seek approval in this way and it's never enough. he does seem to have gotten more comfortable with himself/his image as of late, though, and that's really great. now, if he could get to the stage phil is at and just say thank you when someone gives him a compliment... that there is a goal

[autumnhearth]

Very good responses to the resenting phandom opinion. I don't feel like I need/want to weigh in on it, as I would be likely to rant about entitlement in fandoms and nobody wants that.

That photo is art! It is completely within Dan's aesthetic, he looks great, it is probably now a memory of a cool place they went to and his bf took it. (Take that abbreviation how you like). I love that his response is to be proud of Phil (though Phil has indeed been taking lovely photos of him for years). I'm just going to have to join Instagram aren't I?

[Artdefines06]

As a communications major and studying psychologist I would just like to point out you cannot know much of anything about a person from looking at videos where they are performing, or photos, or facial expressions in any situation where they know they are being watched and judged. And believe me, they know, all the time. I would think anytime they step out their front door they slip into a mode of being conscious of everything they do and say. Yes, you can infer things from body language and words and facial expressions, but your inferences are only a guess, and you cannot know for sure. Especially with actors.

*I wrote a lot more but it was just me ranting about power imbalances in relationships and you don't really need all my emotional baggage lol. The short of it was that they do not owe us anything, and we do not owe them anything.

[bluewho]

Of course you're all loving it. I still maintain that it's not as much beautiful as just totally pretentious

Anyway, this rare opportunity where I'm somehow immune to Dan's appeal and can think semi-rationally made me wonder: they both (but Dan slightly more so than Phil, I think) are constantly bombarded with praise, some of which mentions only their supposedly good looks. There's no way that they don't see some parts of it, and even some parts mean a lot when you're as popular as they currently are. How do you think it affects them? Do you think it might've gone to their heads just a little bit? On the one hand I can't imagine it wouldn't but on the other hand I can't see a lot of evidence for that in their behaviour... I don't know, man. But it fascinates me. Does it make them more confident? More insecure? Do you think they're secretly massive pricks now but can hide it well? Somebody share an interesting perspective with me, please!

I was initially thinking only about Dan, but feel free to drag Phil into it as well

I think on the one hand it totally goes to Dan's head. I think he does get validation out of it, a certain confidence bordering on arrogance. But on the other hand I feel like it's continually surprising to him that people react that way. For example, when he was discussing the thumbnail for his 'sweaty daniel' liveshow and he said that it was meant as a joke but that people were saying he accidentally looked good, 'I'll take that'. I think he likes the attention and it pleases him to think he is good looking.

The other side of this though is that the massive attention does make him feel more insecure and increases his anxiety. Like in the memes video, he does seem to be somewhat upset/ defensive about some of the jokes made about his clothes etc, and he even says the jokes 'bring him back down to earth'. I also think the idea of a massive audience constantly wanting content from him increases his insecurity and anxiety. Insecure about making / saying and wearing the wrong thing, and subsequent anxiety that makes him avoid engaging.

Anyway you'll have to excuse me I have to go and freak out on twitter about that photo now

I think anyone would enjoy the attention, but the stuff that made me the most uncomfortable was when Dan was younger and would casually mention that he was fat, and make subtle allusions to the fact that he dislikes his appearance, but brush them off as not being serious or it just being a joke - I'd rather he be confident and pleased with his appearance, posting all these aesthetic pictures, than maintaining such a negative impression of himself tbh

I absolutely think Dan had and has low self eesteem, which is why I do think it is positive that compliments go to his head. That being said I think at times he is attractive and he knows he is attractive, and treats the whole thing as something that is just quite funny to think about. I think he also stresses about the lack of control his has over how he looks like random fans can just upload pictures of him he doesn't like etc and he has no control over that.
None of this is meant to be a criticism, these are just my thoughts on his personality
Also this is all just my opinion and most likely has no bearing on reality anyway

[lurker]

while i've been typing this post i got the faintest memory of saying something similar in an earlier thread so forgive me if that's the case, but wrt the topic of self-confidence: i think its amount can vary a lot -- on one hand depending on if it's a setting a person controls themselves (like a selfie they share, or in deppy's case a video on one of their channels) or if it's an "uncontrollable" setting (like photos other people take, or irl meetings) -- on the other hand depending on a persons "form of the day". so i personally don't read too much into shared photos or off-handed comments with respect to their self-confidence or character traits -- i think if dan uploads a pretty selfie one day and makes a slightly self-deprecating comment about his looks the other, both things can be "genuine".

edit: also while i was typing and struggling with the english language (i'm sorry if the above doesn't make any sense) bluewho said something very similar and i agree.

[Ashling Rae]

...you can't look at the relation between deppy and their audience and think, "wow they really care about us."

I respectfully disagree with that, tbh. I spent way too much time at work today typing up a long response to this, all about how I disagreed. But you know what? I think you probably can see from the community that a lot of people don't agree with you. I don't feel the need to justify why I like them or how they make me feel appreciated as a fan even though they've never even noticed me. And though your disdain confuses me, you're entitled to feel that way and express it here. I'm not going to change your mind on it, so I erased my previous comment. I hope one day they pull through for you and give you some of that optimism back. But if they don't, maybe you'll find it somewhere else in life. Or maybe not, no judgement. My best friend is as pessimistic as they come.

As for that photo, my god, Dan. I just.. He's pretty. Lol. Did anyone else have a really hard time deciding how to answer the "who you found most attractive" question on the survey? Like, Dan is more aesthetically pleasing to me. He was who I found most attractive at first. Tbh, I wasn't a big Phil fan from the start, but now I definitely feel most attraction to him. I ended up going with both the same, even though it probably isn't exactly the same, but

[VengefulBlue]

Dan is more aesthetically pleasing to me. He was who I found most attractive at first. Tbh, I wasn't a big Phil fan from the start, but now I definitely feel most attraction to him.

this exactly! i said phil is more attractive bc dan is prettier, but phil seems like a better romantic partner (that sounds weird, i mean that he seems like a nice kind funny bf). dan reminds me of myself and one of my exes, personality wise. plus in recent pics phil's arms are looking a bit buff, and that is always a huge plus.

also my mum thinks i look like dan bc we have somewhat similar hair and fashion sense, so that's probably a factor....

[cherrybomb3]

Dan is more aesthetically pleasing to me. He was who I found most attractive at first. Tbh, I wasn't a big Phil fan from the start, but now I definitely feel most attraction to him.

also my mum thinks i look like dan bc we have somewhat similar hair and fashion sense, so that's probably a factor....

glad im not the only one

[pearshaped34]

I think anyone would enjoy the attention, but the stuff that made me the most uncomfortable was when Dan was younger and would casually mention that he was fat, and make subtle allusions to the fact that he dislikes his appearance, but brush them off as not being serious or it just being a joke - I'd rather he be confident and pleased with his appearance, posting all these aesthetic pictures, than maintaining such a negative impression of himself tbh

I'm sure Dan wasn't/isn't immune to insecurity and probably genuinely does have times of feeling fat or ugly but I find it very unlikely Dan needed a fandom to tell him he was attractive before he realised it.
I mean for one fetus Dan tried to build up said online following by putting naked pictures online for every follower milestone he reached which definitely suggests he had a certain level of self-awareness about his own attractiveness even back then.

Here he is showing his awareness of his attractiveness and that his an insecure person all in one tweet.

[dontpanic]

I'm not gonna jump in on the main conversation because I'm exhausted and everything I would say has already been said more eliquently than I would. I will, however, gush about phil's talent (*cough*and obsession*cough) with taking beautiful pics of Dan.

wasn't there a joint liveshow last year where dan talked about how phil wasn't able to take decent photos? i would like him to eat his words and make a formal apology because phil certainly has a knack for taking photos of dan.

Lol I remember that! Dan was more general about it, saying how 'no one' can take good pictures of him, but phil still got low-key offended


Warning! Dan's insta is making me go needlessly offtopic rn.

ya'll wanna know what made me start really shipping D&P? It was Phil's reacting to old photos video from 2014. So many of his pictures were candid pictures of Dan, so many moments no one else would find remarkable enough to photograph, yet phil still took those pictures because those were memories he wanted to keep. Phil shares a lot of his the photos he takes of Dan, all those photos of dan wrapped in a blanket or laying on the floor or just simply existing...can you imagine how many pictures he keeps to himself?

I rarely rewatch AP vids, but I mainly rewatch his one (more than I'd like to admit) because of the pic Phil took of Dan while shopping for London flats (2:35). There was no reason to take that photo, dan was just looking at the hardwood floors in an empty living room. But still Phil captured the moment and captured it beautifully; and come on, how could someone even get the idea to take that picture unless it was because of love (platonic or romantic)?
I'm so sorry, I just got so soppy I went through a breakup a few days ago so my are on very tight to compensate.

I really disagree with this. If they upload objectively lazy and bad videos or in little quantity, or say something/ act incorrectly, I'm usually very critical and think everyone should be. Youtube is their job and I think that when they compromise their work as entertainers because of something not relevant, I do think people should critique it. It's like having an economist that skips meetings or etc. Though they are kind of self-employed and not on a fixed schedule, I do think that they should be consistent and be aware that they have a huge (sometimes quite impressionable) audience.

@the bolded part--I'm feeling personally attacked right now. getting a bunch of intj personalities in the same room makes for the most awkward gatherings, so I avoid meetings whenever possible

[kiro56]

Also, Phil took the photo confirmed

I don't know what Dan is talking about, because Phil has always taken the best pics of Dan

I agree
{nakedbooth below - jesp}

[bluntedclaws]

I don't think Dan's self esteem issues have anything to do with his looks. Or rather, they do but not because he's worried about not looking good. I think he worries that he's not actually funny, clever, entertaining, articulate, etc. and people only watch him for the shipping and because he's pretty. That's why the straight male audience is so important to him. They're not going to care as much about his looks so he feels validated that they're watching him for the "right" reasons.

[lost686girl]

25 year old dan compared to his 18 year old self is really something to admire lol